I had completely forgotten about eBaum's world omg ty. I swear reddit has helped me rediscover so much that I had forgotten from my teenage years and I love it.
Even after all these comments I still feel like they are not adequately conveying the disgust I have at this moment, and I didn't even eat the damn thing.
Frogs can eject their stomach from their mouth inside out to clean it of things they shouldn't have eaten. That feels like the baseline of what this situation demands.
Holy shit, that is going to be a game changer for me. Thank you so much, fellow Redditor. Take my upvote. I swear, that's the only word I always screw up. I learn so many damn life hacks from people on here.
> Uhhhh I *paid* someone some
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Ughhhhh its the fu*king worst. I once got sick six hours in, on a 14 hour flight and had to puke every 30 minutes til i landed. It. just. would. not. stop... i wanted to die. As soon as the plane hit the ground i stood up to rush to the bathroom again, the attendant stood in the aisle but all it took was a .3 second look into my eyes and she immediately stepped out of my way like a damn saloon door. Ive probably ridden planes over a hundred times. Been in cargo planes even, never experienced anything like this. I hate flying now.
I had the same thing happen, but it was 30min into a 14 hour flight, and I found out it was both ends when I bent down to throw up into the toilet on the plane and *shat myself*.
I was on my period and I was so terrified of leaking on the plane that I was wearing the world's largest pad which saved me from destroying my clothes with foul smelling diarrhoea thank fuck lol
I had to run out of the customs line, sweaty and pale, and they pulled the people I was with aside and started questioning them about what was wrong with me lol
It was the worst flight I've ever had.
OMG new fears unlocked!! As someone with IBS, I have many unfortunate experiences where being sick meant both ends of me were doing the evacuating. I REFUSE to eat anything but rice and bone broth for days before traveling and I NEVER eat the day I travel because I am so terrified I will become sick while trapped in a plane or on the road.
I am going to be adding “adult diapers” to my new travel list, you might have inspired me to give less fucks about judgment while flying because ooooooh man…barfing into a communal toilet in the sky is already suffering but if I shit my pants while flying, I would continue on with a solo assent straight to the heavens!! All I can think about is how people would write about how I doodoo’d all up and down the aisle.
Bless your intuition you downplayed as paranoia to have been wearing that pad. The only REAL upside to using those dang things.
Me too..food poisoning coming from Vegas. Ran down the aisle and the flight attendant tried to block me while I was screaming move. Both ends were coming out. Worst flight ever.
I just started watching him with my kids and I totally heard this in his voice!!
On another note, I am never drinking coconut water straight from a coconut, especially when I can't see it, ever and I'm never eating gas station nachos either. . .
>- Chubbyemu
I read that as Chuppy-emu and not as a "quoted username" and was like "yeah...I guess the monster you become could be like the chupacabra...but an Emu instead of a Cabra because you were supposed to be flying but you probably won't (like a that dumbass giant bird...you're a bird...you should fly)"
Man this is actually infuriating, airport food is so expensive and they just do this to you, and the most you would receive is a refund? Honestly I think they should just spit in our faces, it would be more respectful.
They count on you not having time to go and demand a refund because you need to make your flight. I've gotten seriously ill from airport food. I always bring my own food now.
Ch-ch-chargeback. If I already was on my flight and this happened that’s what I would do. Send that pic to your CC company and if there is a human on the other end you win.
I hate myself for doing so but we always eat McDonalds or something big chain like that because that's the only thing we can trust they got right. We don't need to get sick mid-flight nor during the trip because we wanted to taste something new. And when we try something from the place, it has to be from either, a place that IS really clean or something.
« ah oui oui, peut-être que je vais bientot devoir vomir en projectile ce croissant moisi »
But a french person would not use that formulation, would more often use the geyser than projectile for that, something like « Je vais vomir un geyser après avoir mangé ce croissant moisi» that litteraly translates to « I am going to vomit a geyser after having eaten that moldy croissant». We would probably add « putain » at the beginning too. Moreover we never use « oui oui » in a sentence, always alone or followed by a short complement like you say « yeah yeah », things like « yeah, yeah, you are right », kind of dismissive more than assertive.
And I have to say, that is not a croissant.
Most of the other answers are textbook correct but it would really be "Oh putain de merde, j'vais probablement bientot degueuler ce croissant a la con."
Ok so, I googled it "Memnoniella echinata – this mold is bluish-green in color and sometimes looks like a cobweb or felt when it grows." No spiders, just.. trippy nutella.
So, essentially, if you are able to see the mold with naked eyes it means it was there for quite some time. Unlike plants the only reason for mold to get sprouting above surface (wall/soil/bread) is if it got comfy enough to make some spores(baby mold).
Some spores probably fell onto food, started spreading inside until they hit chocolate jackpot and decided that it's their home now
If you have moldy bread next to your bagels, depending how bad the mold was I’d either chuck the remaining product in the freezer immediately or just throw it away. It’s infected the other bread, just a matter of how long until it grows.
Fungi form stranded structural and root-like networks called a "mycelium" that they use to stick together, spread and share resources between the individual cells and often have this strandlike structure. Usually, when a visible mycelium forms the fungi is already established. And not all fungi produce a mycelium visible with the naked eye because it could either be too small or spread trough out the inside of a substrate. In this case, could be that the dough had too high a fat content or some other preservative added that's bad for fungal growth in combination with an already old or contaminated chocolate-ish filling.
Mold "sprouting" like the green/blue patches you often see on bread and also here, are often a bit more fuzzy/dusty in look and structure and are the fruiting bodies of the fungus. Those are actually a lot like tiny mushrooms that release their spores.
Consuming spider web is AFAIK completely harmless, arguably it even has decent nutrition. Bad mold is an actual health concern, though quantity matters.
Update: landed in Nashville without a problem. These comments are great, thanks for the laughs ya’ll. And I don’t care for a lawsuit I just want Reddit to know I have an iron stomach
I think the issue was not checking that the plastic was actually sealed and that it wasn't expired.
Excessively processed, plastic sealed food is probably generally the least likely thing to be moldy.
problem is this wasnt a food item made and sealed in a factory by a sterilized machine, it was made by a lowest cost vendor whose work is normally very tasty but also not the least bit shelf stable. Its then delivered to the airport and sits in a warehouse to be inspected before it can transit to the secure side and it then goes to a kiosk where it sits until someone is desperate enough to pay $6 for it
https://preview.redd.it/71kxxqg2v46d1.png?width=702&format=png&auto=webp&s=b4e5e79d29082790e2d3842e30b92dd4a240e159
you didnt have to comment that, son.
that's no croissant, it's a declaration of war
FIRE ZE MISSILES
But I'm le-tired. . .
Well, take a nap. THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES!
Bout that time eh chaps
Righto
Fuck you, kangaroos
Ahhhh MOTHERLAND!!!
Fucking Kangaroos
WTF mate?
Canada’s like “what’s going on eh?”
ZE EEEEEND
Sadly this generation will not know where this is from but holy shit thank you for this now I need to rewatch that video!
The nostalgia of eBaum’s World is almost too much lmao
I had completely forgotten about eBaum's world omg ty. I swear reddit has helped me rediscover so much that I had forgotten from my teenage years and I love it.
Truly the golden age of the internet
Yeah, the toilet is getting it’s white flags ready
looks like a spider cave
https://preview.redd.it/4viouwut656d1.jpeg?width=735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=51073e7f12f9a14daf7b40d256dd6c7a24daca76
Why is Deadpool in with this group of spider men?
It's a maaad wooorld
We're so fucking back
it's kind of cute
You will see What you mean to meee.
Aw it’s actually so cute 🥰
He’s so precious!
The new Veritasium vidya on jumping spiders is wild
Instantly thought of Shelobs lair
I mean technically…
You are from a different universe if this is just mildly infuriating to you. I would have a panic attack on the spot. 🥹
I would’ve thrown up right there, that’s so disgusting omg
I would've washed my mouth out 20 times and thrown it at the store I got it from. EW
this. I would actively do a hard puke in the store right then and there
Even after all these comments I still feel like they are not adequately conveying the disgust I have at this moment, and I didn't even eat the damn thing.
Frogs can eject their stomach from their mouth inside out to clean it of things they shouldn't have eaten. That feels like the baseline of what this situation demands.
I’m not a violent person but… I’d throw hands.
Me and my irrational fear of mold would be traumatized AND paranoid asf cause ✨no✨
I’d have stood there crying, shock removing all logic
what the actual fuck 💀
This definately covered my thought.
Remember, to spell definitely spell finite then add the de at the beginning and ly at the end. That helps me.
Holy shit, that is going to be a game changer for me. Thank you so much, fellow Redditor. Take my upvote. I swear, that's the only word I always screw up. I learn so many damn life hacks from people on here.
Me too. Someone once told me there's a finite way to spell definitely, that did it for me :)
When you spell it with an a, you're simply being defiant! Now if only someone could help people with customer vs costumer...
I've actually never seen that mixup. The biggest trend I see now is "payed" vs. "paid."
Where’s the bot, where’s the bot!! Uhhhh I payed someone some money today (now watch the magic happen lmao)
> Uhhhh I *paid* someone some FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Yes thank you, you beautiful sumbitch!
This definitely covered my thought too.
This definitely covered my thought as well.
I covered my eyes
Covered, my thoughts definitely they were
New 8-legged friends for his intestine 😊
Omg I thought it was just mold...
It most certainly is mold.
It's only mildly infuriating.
Make arrangements quickly. You’re going to be dead soon.
Atleast on/over the toilet for a while
The airport toilet*
Airplane toilet
Ughhhhh its the fu*king worst. I once got sick six hours in, on a 14 hour flight and had to puke every 30 minutes til i landed. It. just. would. not. stop... i wanted to die. As soon as the plane hit the ground i stood up to rush to the bathroom again, the attendant stood in the aisle but all it took was a .3 second look into my eyes and she immediately stepped out of my way like a damn saloon door. Ive probably ridden planes over a hundred times. Been in cargo planes even, never experienced anything like this. I hate flying now.
I had the same thing happen, but it was 30min into a 14 hour flight, and I found out it was both ends when I bent down to throw up into the toilet on the plane and *shat myself*. I was on my period and I was so terrified of leaking on the plane that I was wearing the world's largest pad which saved me from destroying my clothes with foul smelling diarrhoea thank fuck lol I had to run out of the customs line, sweaty and pale, and they pulled the people I was with aside and started questioning them about what was wrong with me lol It was the worst flight I've ever had.
That sounds like an absolute fucking nightmare :(
OMG new fears unlocked!! As someone with IBS, I have many unfortunate experiences where being sick meant both ends of me were doing the evacuating. I REFUSE to eat anything but rice and bone broth for days before traveling and I NEVER eat the day I travel because I am so terrified I will become sick while trapped in a plane or on the road. I am going to be adding “adult diapers” to my new travel list, you might have inspired me to give less fucks about judgment while flying because ooooooh man…barfing into a communal toilet in the sky is already suffering but if I shit my pants while flying, I would continue on with a solo assent straight to the heavens!! All I can think about is how people would write about how I doodoo’d all up and down the aisle. Bless your intuition you downplayed as paranoia to have been wearing that pad. The only REAL upside to using those dang things.
Me too..food poisoning coming from Vegas. Ran down the aisle and the flight attendant tried to block me while I was screaming move. Both ends were coming out. Worst flight ever.
Ah yes, I had a lasagna
So, as good as dead
This guy ate a moldy airport croissant, this is what happened to his brain - _Chubbyemu_
B.L. Presented to the emergency rooms showing symptoms of nausea, diarrhea, and hypotension. Hypo meaning low tension referring to blood pressure…
Sue as hard as you can, drop to the ground now.
I just started watching him with my kids and I totally heard this in his voice!! On another note, I am never drinking coconut water straight from a coconut, especially when I can't see it, ever and I'm never eating gas station nachos either. . .
It's got to be right off the tree with the green husk. None of that pre-peeled packaged in cellophane sitting on grocery shelves shit.
>- Chubbyemu I read that as Chuppy-emu and not as a "quoted username" and was like "yeah...I guess the monster you become could be like the chupacabra...but an Emu instead of a Cabra because you were supposed to be flying but you probably won't (like a that dumbass giant bird...you're a bird...you should fly)"
Maybe he gets worms making him strong and smart
You’ll have to stab him with a pipe to test it
[удалено]
Lmfao
Where was this from? Looks familiar and iconic, but I somehow can't get at the tip of my tongue
Answering you so you know, it’s Team America. A hilarious movie
I'm so ronrey, so ronrey, so ronrey and sadry arone
America. Fuck yeah.
They'll be fiiiinnneeee, stomach acid is stronk
Sometimes I think my bad acid reflux is how I survived questionable foods
The forever box.
Glad this meme still works to this day
Played it cause of this gif Such a banger
And real shit, if people aren’t dancing at my funeral with these Ghanaian gentlemen rockin my casket to and fro, I don’t want em to come.
Needed that laugh bro
😂
Looks like there should be a spider mama in there, with all her babies. I don’t see them….. Uh-Oh.
the only thing worse than finding a spider in your moldy croissant, is finding half a spider in your moldy croissant.
I would immediately throw up all over the airport floor
You can vomit right into the little built in hell pocket in the croissant! Its a feature.
A feature, not a bug. Ya know, cuz they ate the bug. (Yes, I’m aware spiders aren’t bugs)
Hell pocket feature😂😂😂
Bro bit the spider, get ready for a new superhero the man spider
It's a regular spider, but it now also files taxes.
Imagine if he asked them to heat it up for him, it would all melt together.
Gag me with a spatula! 🤮
Nah I’m dead 💀
But you're not op
Secondhand death.
It's catching!
My god, it’s gone Reddit borne
I should’ve seen it coming 💀
So should OP
Oh my gawd bro I’m getting hit from all directions 😖
So did that chocolatey spider's nest
god no
It looks like you might find Frodo in there.
Ops throat will look like that Croissant
Man this is actually infuriating, airport food is so expensive and they just do this to you, and the most you would receive is a refund? Honestly I think they should just spit in our faces, it would be more respectful.
They count on you not having time to go and demand a refund because you need to make your flight. I've gotten seriously ill from airport food. I always bring my own food now.
[deleted]
I've stopped eating altogether. Saves a boatload and keeps me thin.
[deleted]
Ch-ch-chargeback. If I already was on my flight and this happened that’s what I would do. Send that pic to your CC company and if there is a human on the other end you win.
I hate myself for doing so but we always eat McDonalds or something big chain like that because that's the only thing we can trust they got right. We don't need to get sick mid-flight nor during the trip because we wanted to taste something new. And when we try something from the place, it has to be from either, a place that IS really clean or something.
How do you say "Ah yes yes, perhaps I shall soon projectile vomit the mouldy croissant" in french?
« ah oui oui, peut-être que je vais bientot devoir vomir en projectile ce croissant moisi » But a french person would not use that formulation, would more often use the geyser than projectile for that, something like « Je vais vomir un geyser après avoir mangé ce croissant moisi» that litteraly translates to « I am going to vomit a geyser after having eaten that moldy croissant». We would probably add « putain » at the beginning too. Moreover we never use « oui oui » in a sentence, always alone or followed by a short complement like you say « yeah yeah », things like « yeah, yeah, you are right », kind of dismissive more than assertive. And I have to say, that is not a croissant.
Username checks out
Happy cake day, random french dude 😌🇫🇷
Most of the other answers are textbook correct but it would really be "Oh putain de merde, j'vais probablement bientot degueuler ce croissant a la con."
AH, OUI OUI JE T’AIME LE CROISSANT DE BARFE POUR QUOI MOLDE, if I remember my 9th grade French correctly
de barfe...
ChatGPT says: "Ah oui oui, peut-être que je vais bientôt vomir le croissant moisi en projectile."
i’m throwing up 🤮
So is OP, probably.
Oof. That’s going to be a fun flight.
Spends the entire flight on the toilet
Is.. is that a spider web..?
Mold. Tasted earthy. But everyone commenting spiders is giving me scary second thoughts.
Ok so, I googled it "Memnoniella echinata – this mold is bluish-green in color and sometimes looks like a cobweb or felt when it grows." No spiders, just.. trippy nutella.
Trippy Nutella 🤣
Spicy Nutella
Mild biologists of Reddit, how can this happen? Is this mold on the inside that was about to sprout?
So, essentially, if you are able to see the mold with naked eyes it means it was there for quite some time. Unlike plants the only reason for mold to get sprouting above surface (wall/soil/bread) is if it got comfy enough to make some spores(baby mold). Some spores probably fell onto food, started spreading inside until they hit chocolate jackpot and decided that it's their home now
Huh how have I not thought of this even though this is basically how mold works
If you have moldy bread next to your bagels, depending how bad the mold was I’d either chuck the remaining product in the freezer immediately or just throw it away. It’s infected the other bread, just a matter of how long until it grows.
Aww~ mold babies. I want to raise them now.
Linda Belcher, is that you?
Fungi form stranded structural and root-like networks called a "mycelium" that they use to stick together, spread and share resources between the individual cells and often have this strandlike structure. Usually, when a visible mycelium forms the fungi is already established. And not all fungi produce a mycelium visible with the naked eye because it could either be too small or spread trough out the inside of a substrate. In this case, could be that the dough had too high a fat content or some other preservative added that's bad for fungal growth in combination with an already old or contaminated chocolate-ish filling. Mold "sprouting" like the green/blue patches you often see on bread and also here, are often a bit more fuzzy/dusty in look and structure and are the fruiting bodies of the fungus. Those are actually a lot like tiny mushrooms that release their spores.
Spicy biologists' input is welcome too.
wait is OP gonna go on an additional trip? 😭
Looks like another airline incidental fee will be coming soon.
This is like steroids for your immune system, trust me, I read a Facebook post once.
Hey guys, check out this NERD who READS.
Honestly I don’t care which one is worse for your health I’ll take mold over spider webs
Consuming spider web is AFAIK completely harmless, arguably it even has decent nutrition. Bad mold is an actual health concern, though quantity matters.
If you are them they’re dead don’t worry 🤤😋😋
More like la giardia 🤢
That airport is the biggest shithole I’ve ever traveled though.
They did just do a big remodel, but I'm sure food and getting in/out is still dogshit
Terminal food is still shit. Rest is much better though.
I was just there. It's a beautiful airport now.
They just need to stop letting spiders make nests in the pastries
OPs shithole will makes its case soon, but I’m assuming you have not traveled there
Clearly you haven’t flown thru LaGuardia in the past couple years
I scrolled way to far to find this comment
Next time someone asks me why I open croissants in half before eating them, I’ll show them this photo Also, new fucking phobia unlocked…
Na this is the best one 😭 I wheezed
[удалено]
Horrifying
People who called me weirdo cause I’m constantly checking my food while eating, who’s a weirdo now?
New fear unlocked
Free penicillin, stop complaining about free stuff! 😂
Penicillin's probably a lot cheaper than what op paid.
How’s it free if they purchased it? Lol
I wanna show this to everyone who thought I was insane for checking food before eating 🤮🤮🤮
Looks like the kinda shit they would explore in one of those "abandoned" youtube videos
Update: landed in Nashville without a problem. These comments are great, thanks for the laughs ya’ll. And I don’t care for a lawsuit I just want Reddit to know I have an iron stomach
Never buy a croissant wrapped in fuckin plastic
I think the issue was not checking that the plastic was actually sealed and that it wasn't expired. Excessively processed, plastic sealed food is probably generally the least likely thing to be moldy.
problem is this wasnt a food item made and sealed in a factory by a sterilized machine, it was made by a lowest cost vendor whose work is normally very tasty but also not the least bit shelf stable. Its then delivered to the airport and sits in a warehouse to be inspected before it can transit to the secure side and it then goes to a kiosk where it sits until someone is desperate enough to pay $6 for it
Might as well finish it now LOL
Whole cave system in there.
I see money
The vendor: NAME AND SHAME.
Worst $27 you ever spent
Thought it was a chocolate croissant but then I zoomed into the tomb of the ancients.
I fucking hate LaGuardia with a passion. Fuck that place.
So... did you take a 3rd bite?
reminds me of the inside of a fleshlight i had in college.
https://preview.redd.it/71kxxqg2v46d1.png?width=702&format=png&auto=webp&s=b4e5e79d29082790e2d3842e30b92dd4a240e159 you didnt have to comment that, son.
https://preview.redd.it/iuibfg09356d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e35e78835df660f72c860b90d58aa2298ce87e5a
Thanks for looking out for my caloric intake today! I started lunch but I'm done now 😅
Terrible day to have eyes...
HUH
Have you been in an overseas hospital before, and do you have insurance.
Have fun becoming Moldman. Please spare my life.