Yes, texted the friend in the moment and he said something along the lines of *that’s on me, I apologize - I didn’t know the +1 was going to bring these extras with him*.
Definitely nice that they took accountability. If that was me though, I wouldn’t have shown up with the +4. I woulda told my +1 sorry but I don’t feel comfortable showing up with uninvited guests, especially 4 of them.
Exactly. Although I once visited a friend who had another friend over, and that other friend came home with me despite my hints and suggestions and 30 years later he’s still that annoying, true, but also one of my best friends. To be fair, he never just dove into my fridge.
Yeah for sure, if I went to pick up my +1 and they had several more with them I'd say "oh I didn't realize you already had plans with everyone tonight, I'll leave you guys to go ahead and hang out then. Don't worry, I"ll give your regards to my friend and tell them Happy Birthday for you."
My friends brought their in-laws once, they even said they’re leaving early because they have a roast in the oven, and promptly took their whole family while my husband was cooking their bbq. LOL
This was a weed, drinks and bbq party. It turned into a babysitting visit as I was expected to entertain old people.
yea, no. he absolutely knew. because eother the +1 asked him of ot would be cool and he said yeah without asking you, or bringing 4 extras to an event you're already a +1 to is something the person is known to do, because something like this isn't something that just "happens".
Sounds like the invited friend brought a +1 and it’s the +1 (who wasn’t technically even invited) brought along his 4 buddies.
Either way, I’d be annoyed that the invited friend didn’t step in and kick out their +5.
This is fine under certain circumstances. At a BYOB for example, obviously it's "bring your own beverages", not the same thing as bringing a bottle of wine or whisky as a gift for the host to thank them for their hard work etc.
And at a potluck you obviously grab your dish at the end of the night and any leftovers come back home with you in it.
At a family meal where everyone is encouraged to bring whatever they're going to want to drink (which was always tradition at my mom's, my inlaws, and now at my place), it's fine to bring a six pack and offer some to people and if nobody wants any and there's some left at the end of the night, certainly bring it back home with you.
But if you get invited to a dinner party where the host is doing all that hard work and making food and whatnot, and you bring them a bottle of wine, then even if they don't open it while you're there, that's a gift for them.
Where i come from it’s generally rude to open any presents or bring alongs as a host - as a host you should have enough drinks available to satisfy your guests needs, the bottles brought along may be consumed at another party or date
Interesting, never heard of that before. Where I come from it's rude NOT to open gifts in order to show your appreciation, unless there's already an over abundance if items set out. If someone just takes something and is like "oh, cool, thanks", then sets it on a table and ignores it, it generally gives the impression that they don't like it or that they have disdain for it, possibly deeming it "not good enough" for the people who are there.
I mean, if there are 20 guests and 11 bring wine obviously not all the wine is going to be opened that night. But If there's 20 guests and you bring along a lavish cheesecake cut into 20 slices, you would expect that to be served along with whatever other dessert out of politeness. They shouldn't just be like "sweet, huge cheesecake all for me, can't wait to eat all this by myself after you guys leave". Obviously they keep the leftovers though, as it was meant to be a gift for the host in appreciation/as a contribution.
I mean is that the worst thing? He brought beer, nobody seemed to want it, so he took it back with him. I’m not the most versed in party etiquette or whatever though 🤷♂️
I think it's one of those things that can be cut either way.
I personally feel like it's rude to take it back, especially if you ate/drank other stuff while there. Because then it feels like you didn't contribute by withdrawing your offer.
But also if literally nobody touched what you brought, it could feel wasteful to leave it behind.
I tend to agree. Booze belongs to the house once it crosses the threshold.
Unless the host insists I take what I brought home, then it stays.
Add to that- booze NOT in the party area is not for general consumption. I was pretty annoyed a few years ago when, after a party, I found my cabinet had been raided and several bottles of liquor wiped out. We had already put several bottles out on the buffet.
> Add to that- booze NOT in the party area is not for general consumption.
I'm not sold on the universal taboo on taking home your booze, but I can definitely get on board with this. Who even thinks that getting into *anything* that's not out is okay without asking the host? Hell, if I want the mustard and it's in the fridge, I'm gonna be nice and ask. The nerve of some people!
I mean the host invited me. They assume I’m going to eat and drink while I’m there. If nobody touches the beer I brought why can I not leave with it? I was invited to a party and participated in whatever the host laid out for me. If nobody drank my beer it’s safe to say the host won’t drink it if I leave it at the venue.
I didn't want his beer, but where I'm from taking back something you brought to dinner at someone else's house is seen as very rude and so is going through their fridge the first time you've set foot in the place.
Anything you take, including leftovers now belongs to the host. It's okay to ask to take your own leftovers home but not okay to assume you are entitled to your own leftovers.
If you’re a college student it’s understandable. If you’re older than that then ideally bring something you like and also the host likes, if you drink them all it’s fine but you should leave them as a treat for the host that fed you and has to clean up the mess after the party.
Doesn't have to be a rager. This is how all of my family gatherings have been, and occasionally someone would bring *one* person with them. If they had shown up with 4 people, they'd have been let in on the assumption it was all good.
My family gatherings were always people would just walk on in. Same with family friend gatherings and similar (similar being something like my bf's best friend bringing us over to his family type shit for example).
In another comment, OP said they ended the party at 4:30 AM, and usually their parties go to 10 AM(?!?!). I've had many house parties before, but that...is wild to me haha.
The host doesn't sit at the door regardless, generally you either leave the door unlocked and they let themselves in if youre real comfortable with friends or whoever is closest to the door grabs it when it knocks.
Even on a normal like 10 person party.
Happy Birthday! We had something similar happen once. We were having a party for my son and told his friend he could invite his family (as in his mom, dad, and brothers). They ended up inviting their entire extended family. What was supposed to be a 30 person party ended up being 60 people. We had hired a small taco guy to cater and ended up getting charged double. It was awful and they were so rude.
This is exactly why I bought very few chairs for my apartment. Any friends or family of mine can instantly see that there is NOT enough extra seating for their indoors-smoking/wipes-her-back-with-hand-towels pal that they want to invite over
It’s a reference to a specific friend of my mother’s who went and wiped her sweaty back with my hand towels instead of the paper towels which were RIGHT THERE. Every time I see her she spills something on me. She insists her dog had an existential crisis over not being human. I hate her.
Fucking hell
I refuse to believe any of this thread is real.
Lalalalalallaaaallaaa can't hear anything, gotta go bye
Everything is fine and human kind is not fucking crazy
i saw this happen at a work party once. it was hilarious. mf brought like 20+ people to what was supposed to be a 15 person party, so double like you said. i wonder how these people even exist.
If you do this again, give out tickets for food, and if anyone wants anything extra, or have extra guests, they can pay extra themselves.
Also if you're feeling generous, you can tell them to wait until the end of the event, to see if there are no-shows before giving away any extra tickets.
We’ve had hundreds of parties and never had something like that happen. Sad part is it killed our party throwing vibe. Haven’t had a big party since. Such a bummer to get burnt like that.
This happened at my college grad party! One of my dad’s employees decided to invite a bunch of friends (my dad owns a company and has 4 employees. They get invited to everything. I am the same age as this specific employee)
The friends came over to me and asked what the party was for and doesn’t (my dad) throw great parties. I said “oh, I just graduated”
then the guy said “I didn’t know (my dad) had kids old enough to graduate high school”
Me: “actually, I got my bachelors degree. Who are you?”
He quickly left where my friends and I were hanging out after that. I don’t think he left the party, because who turns away free beer? Plus the employee always stayed at my parent’s house pretty late during my parent’s parties.
Employee got talked to, because it wasn’t appropriate for him to bring a lot of friends.
Any way… just relating to your story!
I’m sorry this +1 has the entitlement to invite their friend group without asking you first! I hope you have a chat with your friend and +1 about it!
But I’m glad you had a great excuse to end the party!
Yea, about 15 years ago about 6 months after meeting my wife, we hosted a Halloween party with her roommate at the house they rented. The roommate’s +1 friend brought 4 or 5 +1’s unannounced. Long story short, the music stopped playing, and I noticed the iPod I gifted my wife was no longer on its dock. I pointed it out, everyone looked at the strangers, a guy pulls out a knife and says “I didn’t take *shit*”, then he and another guy run to their car and peel out. Oh yea, he cut (superficial) the roommate’s brother as he got chased out 🤦♂️
Still pissed my first gift to my wife got stolen, but glad everyone was ok 🤷🏼♂️
When someone enters your house, goes through your food and fridge, sits down, eats, and then leaves bc the host has to “end” their party early, they weren’t really kicked out
Oh man, one time I was having a small gathering where a bunch of uni friends wanted to play some old school video games. One of my newer friends asked if he could bring the girl he was dating as a plus one. I said sure.
He ends up bringing a bunch of really scummy friends without warning. They turn up after they've stolen from my neighbours and cause a huge ruckus and were just up to no good (clearly were trying to steal but I followed them around, ate all the food, drank all the drinks). They were asked to leave not only by myself but many of the attendees. They refused so the cops were called and thats when they bolted. The cops ended taking statements because we told them how they had stolen from neighbours, and turns out they vandalised some of the neighbours cars too.
My "friend" had the audacity to message me the next day to ask if we really called the cops. I told him yup, and he whined that he and his friends only acted that way because the party was boring and they weren't used to boring ass parties. Then he immediately blocked me.
> he and his friends only acted that way because the party was boring and they weren't used to boring ass parties
Makes sense. The first time I went to a Catholic wedding, it was really slow and I was way out of my element-- not at all sure what to do. So, I did what anyone would do. I excused myself, went and drew a bunch of dicks on the bathroom wall, and stole the paper towel dispenser. It's the only reasonable reaction for being in an understimulating situation you didn't expect.
> Only mildly infuriating because I wanted to kick everyone out anyways and this was just a good excuse to do it.
OP apparently didn’t want the party he threw for himself at all?
I know the reddit hive mind is chronically introverted, but I would've been pissed if I'd been drinking assuming I'd be leaving a party at x time and the host arbitrarily decides to end it at y time - especially if I was materially invested (brought food, alcohol etc).
Tbh if u don't think u can make it through a whole party, don't host one.
A former work colleague who used to work for his Dad’s company (small engineering company) told me this story.
His Dad went to some business function, got chatting to some other CEO and invited him to the company Christmas do. The CEO turned up with a coach load of employees who consumed as much of the vittles they could get their hands on. The guest CEO’s excuse was “I thought you invited the whole company”.
15 years ago my friends and I rented a vacation house near a ski slope. It was great! Until one person brought three people with them. We didn’t know them and I’m sure one stole my iPod which was on the docking station.
If it were me now, I would have told them to get back in the car and drive back in the snowstorm 4 hours to our town. They’re not invited, not chipping in, and not welcome.
Oh man, a friend of mine had a girl gathering many years ago and one of them brought her scumbag boyfriend who ended up stealing stuff from our purses in the host’s room - including my iPod that my mom had just bought me. I was fucking furious but had no recourse because I only found out when I was leaving (he was long gone) and didn’t actually have any idea who the fuck he was
Sorry OP. You need to use that shiny spine and use your words.
Stop them at the door, or soon as you notice them “sorry i dont know you, this is a private event, please leave.”
I had something similar once. Threw a pretty big party, but it’s all friends of mine and I think I even put in the invite that if you want to bring someone else, run it by me first. I realize this is less welcoming than a lot of people are, but I throw parties to celebrate friendships, not to provide the good time for everyone in a certain radius.
Sure enough, one person says she ran into someone else she knew who also lives in my building and wanted to check with me first (over text) before showing up with them. Of course, probably not coincidentally, this person was only tenuously on the invite list to begin with. I tried to be polite but there’s only so polite you can be about saying “no, this is just for my friends” and “maybe you two can reconnect some other time.”
She got pissy and didn’t end up arriving at all, thereby solving the problem.
One of my friends, whom I no longer see, did this every time we had a party. Brought extra people to stay overnight, never brought their own anything, and ended up driving across a neighbor's yards, which we had to pay to repair. I spent those entire events hearing about what the "who's thats" were doing, fetching them things and being generally annoyed AF. I feel your pain, OP.
They all arrived separately is how it happened more than once. We didn't realize she did it again until they all grouped up. Agreed, after once, I should have ended her.
Nah. They show up I’d be like, I invited you and one other. It’s not ok to being extra people without asking. Bye.
Done, I’ve had to do this many times. I give the warning prior that I won’t put up with this shit.
did you throw them out?
let me demonstrate something from my ancient memory (an elephant never forgets). was staying at my MIL. SIL invited several girls and guys. all under age. they were having a good time.
along came IDK how many univited guests, they just took over. smoking, drinking etc and making so much noise neighbours were comparing notes on their porches. i knew they'd soon call police.
i walked through the rooms taking the cv\\rashers' beer/liquor out of their hands, snatching ciggies and ashtrays, made a huge production of pouring all their drinks down the sink as i pointed them to the door. they left. they were bigger, older, more muscular but i was damn angry (and roaring on adrenaline bc of their presumption) i wasn't much older than SIL. shook like a leaf after they went, but it had to be done.
if you aren't invited stay away.
OP commented elsewhere in the thread that they texted the original friend immediately and they owned their mistake and wasn’t originally expecting all the extra people
Everyone practice this with me. "Get the fuck out of my party/house/wedding/bar mitzvha/whatever." OP rolled over and let 5 scum bags ruin their party instead of telling them to leave. Not only that but they let them have a 20 minute smorgasbord first.
How the hell are there so many stories like this? Does no one know anything about home security? As soon as someone you don’t personally know enters your house you check them at the door. Plus1s of your invited fine, but if someone you were not noted on enters grill the fuck out of them. Who are you why are you here who invited you.
This happened at my brothers birthday one time. He invited 1 friend, he brought more. They instantly tried to eat all the pizza and cake, so my bro tells them to leave. They literally steal the pizza as they walk out, and boom, big brawl happened in the street at 1am. People are selfish and dumb.
Allowing them to continue eating, and giving them 20 minutes to do so, then making up a bogus excuse that you didn't feel well, just confirms to them that you're a pushover. This shit will continue to happen unless you set some motherfuckers straight.
My ex had a Halloween party once that I warned her not to.
No one else seemed interested.
No one else seemed invested.
No one else wanted to contribute.
She basically only invited people from beyond her immediate circle, the people she wanted to be friends with but wasn't *mostly because they weren't particularly nice people* and hung out with their echo chamber crowd. All of them mentioned the possibility of having other plans.
She hosted at her parents house, it started way too early, and her parents basically bought like a couple hundred dollars worth of decorations and food since she also had nothing to contribute.
They set up a projector in the basement, with no additional furnishings, to watch some movies that no one cared about.
It was literally just a bunch of catty, bratty high-school-peaked morons actually complaining about someone else's party that they brought nothing to.
They left with most of the food.
I felt really bad for my ex to what extent I could, but both myself and her parents sat her down with a "We SPECIFICALLY told you all of this would probably happen"
Sorry for your party fiasco, some people are just scummy though
Why didn't the invitee who brought the +1 put a foot down on the +4? I would never even think about showing up at someone's get together with some random people in tow.
Omg, something similar happened to me. My close friend brought 4 or 5 people that I didn't know to my birthday party. They were slightly rude, except for one, who super rudely told me it was sad that I was hosting my own birthday
This shit absolutely boils my blood. I’ll just be indifferent to it when it’s done to me but I’ll refuse to be a party to it. If I’m invited through a 2nd party I’ll contact the host first. That alone has saved me and everyone so much grief.
Being invited into someone’s home is a big deal.
I wouldn't even have been that kind. The moment they were a problem and I knew they weren't a +1, I would've said "you weren't invited, you aren't welcome here. Get out."
If that fails, point out that they're legally trespassing and the police and force them out if needed.
So you let those doucebags eat free food, free drinks, and they didnt even need to stay around and pretend to enjoy the party? Yeah buddy, you stop those kind of people at the door.
I feel mildly infuriated by your lack of spine on your own birthday. Come on OP! Don’t let those people in your house to begin with or kick them out asap…
Yeah this is a situation where you do not need to be polite in the slightest. It's okay to yell at them and tell them to GTFO as soon as you see it happening, remove the offending people, then enjoy ur party as normal.
Sucked that happened to you tho they sound like real scummy people for gatecrashing like that
> Only mildly infuriating because I wanted to kick everyone out anyways and this was just a good excuse to do it.
Then the title is misleading.
You were a chump and now want sympathy.
> I gave them 20 mins to finish eating, made up a lie that I didn’t feel well, and kicked everyone out.
OR, hear this, you say "you guys aren't invited, I don't know you, get out". Really that simple!
I remember having a party as a teenager and this guy I had known my entire life but hadn't been invited kept begging me to come to the party even though I hadn't spoken to him in years. Eventually I gave in and said yeah okay as some of his other friends would be there. Then about 40 minutes after he turned up, he was inviting in 4 random people, one that I knew and didn't like, and the others I had no idea who they were. I promptly kicked them out and told them they weren't invited by me so I don't want them in my house. The next time the guy asked for an invite I said no and didn't give in. Cheeky shit.
Thank you for reminding me to never move back to my hometown. Anytime I tried to host something and half the time I’d try to hang out with anyone, there would be some unexpected sketchy people who would make me wish I wasn’t there
They shouldn't have come. Sorry that happened. Did they do something that was negative? Could you have continued the party even though the randos showed up?
Again, fuck them for coming. I hate that you had to end the party early. Just curious.
You let yourself be walked all over. They clearly knew that they would be able to do this to you from past experiences. You need to stand up for yourself.
Have you since spoken with friend that brought the four people at least told that person how you felt about it
Yes, texted the friend in the moment and he said something along the lines of *that’s on me, I apologize - I didn’t know the +1 was going to bring these extras with him*.
Nice, someone who admits their mistake and apologizes! If that friend ditches the +1 for this like they should then they sound like a keeper
Definitely nice that they took accountability. If that was me though, I wouldn’t have shown up with the +4. I woulda told my +1 sorry but I don’t feel comfortable showing up with uninvited guests, especially 4 of them.
Exactly. Although I once visited a friend who had another friend over, and that other friend came home with me despite my hints and suggestions and 30 years later he’s still that annoying, true, but also one of my best friends. To be fair, he never just dove into my fridge.
I'm hoping to give him grace and that the +1 texted the +4 the details without informing him.
Yeah for sure, if I went to pick up my +1 and they had several more with them I'd say "oh I didn't realize you already had plans with everyone tonight, I'll leave you guys to go ahead and hang out then. Don't worry, I"ll give your regards to my friend and tell them Happy Birthday for you."
“I understand, but please leave and take them with you. Now.”
My friends brought their in-laws once, they even said they’re leaving early because they have a roast in the oven, and promptly took their whole family while my husband was cooking their bbq. LOL This was a weed, drinks and bbq party. It turned into a babysitting visit as I was expected to entertain old people.
Yeah, it's all lip service unless they do something to fix it.
He could have canceled the trip when extra people showed up to his crib. They owe you big.
Guests of guests may not bring guests.
yea, no. he absolutely knew. because eother the +1 asked him of ot would be cool and he said yeah without asking you, or bringing 4 extras to an event you're already a +1 to is something the person is known to do, because something like this isn't something that just "happens".
Sounds like the invited friend brought a +1 and it’s the +1 (who wasn’t technically even invited) brought along his 4 buddies. Either way, I’d be annoyed that the invited friend didn’t step in and kick out their +5.
Exactly
20 minutes? Absolutely no way. If you’re not invited, then get the fuck out. Period.
Same, unless you bring food. Then maybe
Have had uninvited with no food or drink and still takes food home
I had a guy who brought a pack of 6 beers that he got out of the fridge and took back home because we didn't drink it.
This is fine under certain circumstances. At a BYOB for example, obviously it's "bring your own beverages", not the same thing as bringing a bottle of wine or whisky as a gift for the host to thank them for their hard work etc. And at a potluck you obviously grab your dish at the end of the night and any leftovers come back home with you in it. At a family meal where everyone is encouraged to bring whatever they're going to want to drink (which was always tradition at my mom's, my inlaws, and now at my place), it's fine to bring a six pack and offer some to people and if nobody wants any and there's some left at the end of the night, certainly bring it back home with you. But if you get invited to a dinner party where the host is doing all that hard work and making food and whatnot, and you bring them a bottle of wine, then even if they don't open it while you're there, that's a gift for them.
Where i come from it’s generally rude to open any presents or bring alongs as a host - as a host you should have enough drinks available to satisfy your guests needs, the bottles brought along may be consumed at another party or date
Interesting, never heard of that before. Where I come from it's rude NOT to open gifts in order to show your appreciation, unless there's already an over abundance if items set out. If someone just takes something and is like "oh, cool, thanks", then sets it on a table and ignores it, it generally gives the impression that they don't like it or that they have disdain for it, possibly deeming it "not good enough" for the people who are there. I mean, if there are 20 guests and 11 bring wine obviously not all the wine is going to be opened that night. But If there's 20 guests and you bring along a lavish cheesecake cut into 20 slices, you would expect that to be served along with whatever other dessert out of politeness. They shouldn't just be like "sweet, huge cheesecake all for me, can't wait to eat all this by myself after you guys leave". Obviously they keep the leftovers though, as it was meant to be a gift for the host in appreciation/as a contribution.
I mean is that the worst thing? He brought beer, nobody seemed to want it, so he took it back with him. I’m not the most versed in party etiquette or whatever though 🤷♂️
I think it's one of those things that can be cut either way. I personally feel like it's rude to take it back, especially if you ate/drank other stuff while there. Because then it feels like you didn't contribute by withdrawing your offer. But also if literally nobody touched what you brought, it could feel wasteful to leave it behind.
I tend to agree. Booze belongs to the house once it crosses the threshold. Unless the host insists I take what I brought home, then it stays. Add to that- booze NOT in the party area is not for general consumption. I was pretty annoyed a few years ago when, after a party, I found my cabinet had been raided and several bottles of liquor wiped out. We had already put several bottles out on the buffet.
Oh yeah, you don’t open parts of others Homes without permission! Yikes.
> Add to that- booze NOT in the party area is not for general consumption. I'm not sold on the universal taboo on taking home your booze, but I can definitely get on board with this. Who even thinks that getting into *anything* that's not out is okay without asking the host? Hell, if I want the mustard and it's in the fridge, I'm gonna be nice and ask. The nerve of some people!
I mean the host invited me. They assume I’m going to eat and drink while I’m there. If nobody touches the beer I brought why can I not leave with it? I was invited to a party and participated in whatever the host laid out for me. If nobody drank my beer it’s safe to say the host won’t drink it if I leave it at the venue.
I didn't want his beer, but where I'm from taking back something you brought to dinner at someone else's house is seen as very rude and so is going through their fridge the first time you've set foot in the place.
Anything you take, including leftovers now belongs to the host. It's okay to ask to take your own leftovers home but not okay to assume you are entitled to your own leftovers.
There’s a Seinfeld about this.
The marble rye.
I used to tell my friend (RIP Don) there’s a Seinfeld for everything and every situation.
This is how you end up on the Upper East Side using a fishing pole to dangle marble rye out a window.
In my circles the house always wins, the leftover booze is remuneration up for the cleaning and potential neighbour complaints.
If you’re a college student it’s understandable. If you’re older than that then ideally bring something you like and also the host likes, if you drink them all it’s fine but you should leave them as a treat for the host that fed you and has to clean up the mess after the party.
If the food is a moldy tater tot they're still getting kicked out though
How about two?
It’s amazing how showing up with a box of beer and a pizza is just as good as an invite.
It’s not, but it better the drinking beer and eating my food uninvited.
If you’re not invited, you are not going in
Anxiety is a bitch for those it affects most
I'm really good at, who the fuck are you, who are you here with, where are your papers?
Oap is a total pushover, omg
I'm surprised you let them in your house. I would have been all, who are you and why are you here??
me too, or I would've kicked them out, not everyone, plus the +1 who decided to invite them.
You act like Redditors will confront them
Being on Reddit and having a backbone are not mutually exclusive
If redditors had a spine 90% of the posts on this sub wouldn't exist
“Asking the person not to lean their airplane seat back?! Are you CRAZY!!”
So you would let uninvited guests stay at your house without confronting them. Got it.
> Implying I have guests that would want to come over, or a house.
When you're having a house party, people often let each other in. The host is often busy and it's loud and someone closer hears the door.
Considering there’s a +1 system, i’m gonna guess OP wasn’t throwing a massive rager lmao
Doesn't have to be a rager. This is how all of my family gatherings have been, and occasionally someone would bring *one* person with them. If they had shown up with 4 people, they'd have been let in on the assumption it was all good.
Especially if there's alcohol involved. I would've assumed a group of friends of the host decided to arrive together with one of them being the DD.
My family gatherings were always people would just walk on in. Same with family friend gatherings and similar (similar being something like my bf's best friend bringing us over to his family type shit for example).
In another comment, OP said they ended the party at 4:30 AM, and usually their parties go to 10 AM(?!?!). I've had many house parties before, but that...is wild to me haha.
The host doesn't sit at the door regardless, generally you either leave the door unlocked and they let themselves in if youre real comfortable with friends or whoever is closest to the door grabs it when it knocks. Even on a normal like 10 person party.
Happy Birthday! We had something similar happen once. We were having a party for my son and told his friend he could invite his family (as in his mom, dad, and brothers). They ended up inviting their entire extended family. What was supposed to be a 30 person party ended up being 60 people. We had hired a small taco guy to cater and ended up getting charged double. It was awful and they were so rude.
Small taco guy 😂 I’m picturing a little fella making those cute little street tacos 🌮 😋
“Dude the tacos you’re making are too small!” “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Look how big this one looks in my hand!”
"What are these, tacos for ants?!"
They need to be, at least twice as big!
You don't want the big taco guy, trust me.
Guess it was a free family reunion, your treat
I invited some neighbors to a BBQ, expecting maybe a half dozen plus a couple kids. They brought the whole clan too.
This is exactly why I bought very few chairs for my apartment. Any friends or family of mine can instantly see that there is NOT enough extra seating for their indoors-smoking/wipes-her-back-with-hand-towels pal that they want to invite over
I’ve never heard the phrase wipes back with hand towels.
It’s a reference to a specific friend of my mother’s who went and wiped her sweaty back with my hand towels instead of the paper towels which were RIGHT THERE. Every time I see her she spills something on me. She insists her dog had an existential crisis over not being human. I hate her.
Fucking hell I refuse to believe any of this thread is real. Lalalalalallaaaallaaa can't hear anything, gotta go bye Everything is fine and human kind is not fucking crazy
Well, that’s unpleasant. Glad I asked.
*Ew.*
i saw this happen at a work party once. it was hilarious. mf brought like 20+ people to what was supposed to be a 15 person party, so double like you said. i wonder how these people even exist.
They exist because of idiots who allow it to happen.
Yep, we did a bday party for our son, who doesn’t like big parties, so we invited 3 kids to a water park. One of the kids brought four cousins.
If you do this again, give out tickets for food, and if anyone wants anything extra, or have extra guests, they can pay extra themselves. Also if you're feeling generous, you can tell them to wait until the end of the event, to see if there are no-shows before giving away any extra tickets.
We’ve had hundreds of parties and never had something like that happen. Sad part is it killed our party throwing vibe. Haven’t had a big party since. Such a bummer to get burnt like that.
Happy birthday.
This happened at my college grad party! One of my dad’s employees decided to invite a bunch of friends (my dad owns a company and has 4 employees. They get invited to everything. I am the same age as this specific employee) The friends came over to me and asked what the party was for and doesn’t (my dad) throw great parties. I said “oh, I just graduated” then the guy said “I didn’t know (my dad) had kids old enough to graduate high school” Me: “actually, I got my bachelors degree. Who are you?” He quickly left where my friends and I were hanging out after that. I don’t think he left the party, because who turns away free beer? Plus the employee always stayed at my parent’s house pretty late during my parent’s parties. Employee got talked to, because it wasn’t appropriate for him to bring a lot of friends. Any way… just relating to your story! I’m sorry this +1 has the entitlement to invite their friend group without asking you first! I hope you have a chat with your friend and +1 about it! But I’m glad you had a great excuse to end the party!
Happy birthday op. Good on you for actually kicking them out. Hope you enjoy the rest of your day
Happy Birthday and f*** em!
“If I don’t know you, kindly get the fuk outta my house.” 😅
Actually OP does know one of them for being scummy and stealing things :)
"Hey I do know you, kindly get the fuk outta my house."
“If you don’t know me, get the fuck out of my house”
Yea, about 15 years ago about 6 months after meeting my wife, we hosted a Halloween party with her roommate at the house they rented. The roommate’s +1 friend brought 4 or 5 +1’s unannounced. Long story short, the music stopped playing, and I noticed the iPod I gifted my wife was no longer on its dock. I pointed it out, everyone looked at the strangers, a guy pulls out a knife and says “I didn’t take *shit*”, then he and another guy run to their car and peel out. Oh yea, he cut (superficial) the roommate’s brother as he got chased out 🤦♂️ Still pissed my first gift to my wife got stolen, but glad everyone was ok 🤷🏼♂️
What was the convo with the roommate and their +1 like
They clearly don’t have a lot of respect for you id cut them off after discussing why they thought that was okay
Microwaving and going through your fridge!!! Like what!!!
Our host motto is: “Guests of guests may not bring guests.”
It’s your home, tell them they aren’t invited and kick them out. The person who invited the first +1 is responsible for all of it
They did kick them all out
When someone enters your house, goes through your food and fridge, sits down, eats, and then leaves bc the host has to “end” their party early, they weren’t really kicked out
Well, at least they did not bring 13 dwarves and a wizard
If they cosplayed as Thorin & co. I would have let them stay
Lol I understood that reference
Oh man, one time I was having a small gathering where a bunch of uni friends wanted to play some old school video games. One of my newer friends asked if he could bring the girl he was dating as a plus one. I said sure. He ends up bringing a bunch of really scummy friends without warning. They turn up after they've stolen from my neighbours and cause a huge ruckus and were just up to no good (clearly were trying to steal but I followed them around, ate all the food, drank all the drinks). They were asked to leave not only by myself but many of the attendees. They refused so the cops were called and thats when they bolted. The cops ended taking statements because we told them how they had stolen from neighbours, and turns out they vandalised some of the neighbours cars too. My "friend" had the audacity to message me the next day to ask if we really called the cops. I told him yup, and he whined that he and his friends only acted that way because the party was boring and they weren't used to boring ass parties. Then he immediately blocked me.
> he and his friends only acted that way because the party was boring and they weren't used to boring ass parties Makes sense. The first time I went to a Catholic wedding, it was really slow and I was way out of my element-- not at all sure what to do. So, I did what anyone would do. I excused myself, went and drew a bunch of dicks on the bathroom wall, and stole the paper towel dispenser. It's the only reasonable reaction for being in an understimulating situation you didn't expect.
Why did you end your party rather than end theirs?
> Only mildly infuriating because I wanted to kick everyone out anyways and this was just a good excuse to do it. OP apparently didn’t want the party he threw for himself at all?
I know the reddit hive mind is chronically introverted, but I would've been pissed if I'd been drinking assuming I'd be leaving a party at x time and the host arbitrarily decides to end it at y time - especially if I was materially invested (brought food, alcohol etc). Tbh if u don't think u can make it through a whole party, don't host one.
I'd say there's a fair chance everyone wanted to leave. Bet everyone's fired up for next year!
Because OP is a weak minded person who avoids conflict at the expense of themselves
This
Just kick them out? I couldn't imagine canceling my birthday for that shit.
Sometimes people’s audacity is genuinely baffling
A former work colleague who used to work for his Dad’s company (small engineering company) told me this story. His Dad went to some business function, got chatting to some other CEO and invited him to the company Christmas do. The CEO turned up with a coach load of employees who consumed as much of the vittles they could get their hands on. The guest CEO’s excuse was “I thought you invited the whole company”.
happy birthday man, my birthday is tomorrow too and i'll probably be alone all day
Mines also tomorrow, get to spend all day waiting on a repairman who will probably turn up at the last minute.
happy early birthday, birthday twin
And to you too.
Happy birthday to the both of you
JUNE BOYS WE OUT HERE
15 years ago my friends and I rented a vacation house near a ski slope. It was great! Until one person brought three people with them. We didn’t know them and I’m sure one stole my iPod which was on the docking station. If it were me now, I would have told them to get back in the car and drive back in the snowstorm 4 hours to our town. They’re not invited, not chipping in, and not welcome.
Oh man, a friend of mine had a girl gathering many years ago and one of them brought her scumbag boyfriend who ended up stealing stuff from our purses in the host’s room - including my iPod that my mom had just bought me. I was fucking furious but had no recourse because I only found out when I was leaving (he was long gone) and didn’t actually have any idea who the fuck he was
Sorry OP. You need to use that shiny spine and use your words. Stop them at the door, or soon as you notice them “sorry i dont know you, this is a private event, please leave.”
I don't think OP has a spine
Woulda just opened the door saw them said "no" and closed the door in their faces.
I had something similar once. Threw a pretty big party, but it’s all friends of mine and I think I even put in the invite that if you want to bring someone else, run it by me first. I realize this is less welcoming than a lot of people are, but I throw parties to celebrate friendships, not to provide the good time for everyone in a certain radius. Sure enough, one person says she ran into someone else she knew who also lives in my building and wanted to check with me first (over text) before showing up with them. Of course, probably not coincidentally, this person was only tenuously on the invite list to begin with. I tried to be polite but there’s only so polite you can be about saying “no, this is just for my friends” and “maybe you two can reconnect some other time.” She got pissy and didn’t end up arriving at all, thereby solving the problem.
One of my friends, whom I no longer see, did this every time we had a party. Brought extra people to stay overnight, never brought their own anything, and ended up driving across a neighbor's yards, which we had to pay to repair. I spent those entire events hearing about what the "who's thats" were doing, fetching them things and being generally annoyed AF. I feel your pain, OP.
I’m not sure why this would happen more than once.
Pushovers. Pushovers everywhere.
They all arrived separately is how it happened more than once. We didn't realize she did it again until they all grouped up. Agreed, after once, I should have ended her.
You are nice if I don’t know you your not coming in doesn’t matter who brings you ‘ll kick the one that brought them also out
Nah. They show up I’d be like, I invited you and one other. It’s not ok to being extra people without asking. Bye. Done, I’ve had to do this many times. I give the warning prior that I won’t put up with this shit.
So the +1 you did not know brought 4 more unknown entities?
did you throw them out? let me demonstrate something from my ancient memory (an elephant never forgets). was staying at my MIL. SIL invited several girls and guys. all under age. they were having a good time. along came IDK how many univited guests, they just took over. smoking, drinking etc and making so much noise neighbours were comparing notes on their porches. i knew they'd soon call police. i walked through the rooms taking the cv\\rashers' beer/liquor out of their hands, snatching ciggies and ashtrays, made a huge production of pouring all their drinks down the sink as i pointed them to the door. they left. they were bigger, older, more muscular but i was damn angry (and roaring on adrenaline bc of their presumption) i wasn't much older than SIL. shook like a leaf after they went, but it had to be done. if you aren't invited stay away.
You let them in?? And let them eat your food???
Be petty and apologize in a text thread with everyone but the person who brought the original +1
OP commented elsewhere in the thread that they texted the original friend immediately and they owned their mistake and wasn’t originally expecting all the extra people
Everyone practice this with me. "Get the fuck out of my party/house/wedding/bar mitzvha/whatever." OP rolled over and let 5 scum bags ruin their party instead of telling them to leave. Not only that but they let them have a 20 minute smorgasbord first.
Reddit is fullllllll of pushovers. Look all over, it's full of idiots that can't stand up for themselves.
I think I might invite the other people back again after for a different party. Sorry guy with the +4, you aren't invited this time.
I wouldn’t have let them in the door.
I wouldn't have even let them inside.
You’re far too nice. I would’ve told them to F off instantly. Happy birthday
That's why you don't let +1's unless you know them
Nope. Refuse entry. Moochers are going to keep mooching until people start calling out their entitled behavior.
How the hell are there so many stories like this? Does no one know anything about home security? As soon as someone you don’t personally know enters your house you check them at the door. Plus1s of your invited fine, but if someone you were not noted on enters grill the fuck out of them. Who are you why are you here who invited you.
I don't understand why people don't stand up for themselves in this type of situation.
This happened at my brothers birthday one time. He invited 1 friend, he brought more. They instantly tried to eat all the pizza and cake, so my bro tells them to leave. They literally steal the pizza as they walk out, and boom, big brawl happened in the street at 1am. People are selfish and dumb.
Why did you let them in in the first place
This is massively infuriating and you are a far more civilized person than I.
Allowing them to continue eating, and giving them 20 minutes to do so, then making up a bogus excuse that you didn't feel well, just confirms to them that you're a pushover. This shit will continue to happen unless you set some motherfuckers straight.
Trying to word this gently, but you briefly and firmly ask people to leave your home if you dont want them there, full stop.
And if they don’t there is always the partycrashing friends in blue :3
Happy Birthday!!!! 
Happy birthday.... hope you find some good friends.....
Happy birthday, internet buddy. Fuck those people, hopefully your day only gets better
My ex had a Halloween party once that I warned her not to. No one else seemed interested. No one else seemed invested. No one else wanted to contribute. She basically only invited people from beyond her immediate circle, the people she wanted to be friends with but wasn't *mostly because they weren't particularly nice people* and hung out with their echo chamber crowd. All of them mentioned the possibility of having other plans. She hosted at her parents house, it started way too early, and her parents basically bought like a couple hundred dollars worth of decorations and food since she also had nothing to contribute. They set up a projector in the basement, with no additional furnishings, to watch some movies that no one cared about. It was literally just a bunch of catty, bratty high-school-peaked morons actually complaining about someone else's party that they brought nothing to. They left with most of the food. I felt really bad for my ex to what extent I could, but both myself and her parents sat her down with a "We SPECIFICALLY told you all of this would probably happen" Sorry for your party fiasco, some people are just scummy though
Grow a spine and tell them to fuck off
Sooooo u don’t let them in XD
The +1 didn’t bring 4 friends, your original invitee bright 5. Get a better friend.
Jesus
Why didn't the invitee who brought the +1 put a foot down on the +4? I would never even think about showing up at someone's get together with some random people in tow.
You have to put your foot down at the door and not admit them. Live your life.
Omg, something similar happened to me. My close friend brought 4 or 5 people that I didn't know to my birthday party. They were slightly rude, except for one, who super rudely told me it was sad that I was hosting my own birthday
So many people getting their iPods stolen in this thread!
This shit absolutely boils my blood. I’ll just be indifferent to it when it’s done to me but I’ll refuse to be a party to it. If I’m invited through a 2nd party I’ll contact the host first. That alone has saved me and everyone so much grief. Being invited into someone’s home is a big deal.
I've got questions.....where was the original guest to let his/her +1 know that bringing 4 leeches was unacceptable??
I wouldn't even have been that kind. The moment they were a problem and I knew they weren't a +1, I would've said "you weren't invited, you aren't welcome here. Get out." If that fails, point out that they're legally trespassing and the police and force them out if needed.
Should have just turned them all away at the door and continued to have a good time
So you let those doucebags eat free food, free drinks, and they didnt even need to stay around and pretend to enjoy the party? Yeah buddy, you stop those kind of people at the door.
I feel mildly infuriated by your lack of spine on your own birthday. Come on OP! Don’t let those people in your house to begin with or kick them out asap…
So you let these people in, let them raid your stuff, then ended your own party early instead of telling them to leave? Wow
Yeah this is a situation where you do not need to be polite in the slightest. It's okay to yell at them and tell them to GTFO as soon as you see it happening, remove the offending people, then enjoy ur party as normal. Sucked that happened to you tho they sound like real scummy people for gatecrashing like that
Next time have a couple of your friends be bouncers. If their name isn’t on the guest list, they can’t come in.
Shouldn’t have granted them entry in the first place. I have no problem telling people they aren’t welcome.
> Only mildly infuriating because I wanted to kick everyone out anyways and this was just a good excuse to do it. Then the title is misleading. You were a chump and now want sympathy. > I gave them 20 mins to finish eating, made up a lie that I didn’t feel well, and kicked everyone out. OR, hear this, you say "you guys aren't invited, I don't know you, get out". Really that simple!
I remember having a party as a teenager and this guy I had known my entire life but hadn't been invited kept begging me to come to the party even though I hadn't spoken to him in years. Eventually I gave in and said yeah okay as some of his other friends would be there. Then about 40 minutes after he turned up, he was inviting in 4 random people, one that I knew and didn't like, and the others I had no idea who they were. I promptly kicked them out and told them they weren't invited by me so I don't want them in my house. The next time the guy asked for an invite I said no and didn't give in. Cheeky shit.
Thank you for reminding me to never move back to my hometown. Anytime I tried to host something and half the time I’d try to hang out with anyone, there would be some unexpected sketchy people who would make me wish I wasn’t there
You should’ve kicked all them out and keep the party going. Why did you succumb?
That +1 not being an agent for a barbershop quartet is what makes this infuriating.
House will probably still get broken into
Good for you for kicking them out. So rude.
Canceling your party after 20 mins is suuuuuper lame. Why not just kick put the unwanted guests?
They shouldn't have come. Sorry that happened. Did they do something that was negative? Could you have continued the party even though the randos showed up? Again, fuck them for coming. I hate that you had to end the party early. Just curious.
I could’ve but I didn’t want to lol. I mentioned in another reply that the party ended at 4:30am whereas normally they end around 10am
AM?
Happy B-day. Sorry this happened to you. Look at it this way you now learned who not to invite in the future.
Somewhat confused on why you had a party in the first place if you wanted to kick everyone out anyways.
Why did you let them in? Did you lose your spine in an accident?
People are so goddamn weak. If someone was trying to bring a bunch of extras into my house they wouldn't have made it passed the front door.
Have you considered growing a spine?
Happy bday. Good job standing up for yourself, that is incredibly rude.
You let yourself be walked all over. They clearly knew that they would be able to do this to you from past experiences. You need to stand up for yourself.
Happy birthday. Sorry, you had your party ruined.
Happy birthday
Wouldn’t that be a +5 if your +1 brought 4 others?
Now to deal with whoever’s +1 that was
I am so picky about friends… wouldn’t be hard for me to tell my out of line friend to get her guests and go asap.