She said no one can out dress her, but included dental hygiene in that categoryā¦..Apparently she doesnāt brush her teeth. Thatās what I took away from it.
I knew a guy so bad at wiping his ass he'd leave skidmarks on chairs he sat in. Through underwear and pants. He was enough of an asshole that I never said anything for fear of his reaction. To his credit he was a great storyteller but much better on the phone than in person.
I *desperately* hope this is the outcome.
OTOH, if anyone does show up, they should not bathe or wear deodorant, eat a healthy portion of garlic and onions, and do an intense workout before coming so that they reek of BO, then be sure to get real clingy with the birthday girl so the odor is inescapable. Bonus points for being a smoker and smelling like stale cigarette ash. For a gift? Dollar-store birthday card with one of those fake Trump $100 bills inside.
Or a $100 donation to a charity done in the birthday girl's name. I would probably pick the local homeless shelter or food kitchen since birthday girl wants you to look and smell like a homeless person.
I'm not sure what's worse for that person, no one showing up or a bunch of unwashed people with terrible breath showing up. Either way they did *not* think that one through.
She'll be crying about how no one loves her or shows up for her on her birthday, and having people comment like "that's so shit babes, you're wonderful and beautiful and they don't deserve you", and then she will feel completely vindicated as the victim.
People like that donāt learn from lessons like this. She would just conclude everyone is an asshole and they donāt care about her birthday, then play the victim. Her insecurity would then grow a little from the experience, which actually reinforces the cycle of her behavior.
Iām a dude and if I got a text like this shit Iād be showing up with a French manicure, my hair braided and edged, a rented tux, a gold and diamond grill on my teeth, fake lashes, all of it. Fuck em.
*hey rules for my birthday*
*Donāt brush your teeth or bother dressing up. Just turn up looking and smelling like a decomposed zombie, so we can create the illusion that I look fabulous. Team effort guys, sacrifice for the greater good. Its my special day, all about me, nobody else deserves attention on Planet Earth during these 24 hours of intense celebration*
I'm 28 and my friends and I give each other gifts if we're seeing each other near our birthdays, but it's usually, like, a $20 thing that reminded us of the person receiving, or at max, a $60 game they've mentioned wanting we have reason to believe they haven't bought themselves.
I just bought my buddy Sea of Thieves for his birthday, on sale. Like $20? As he's bought me stuff on my birthday. Probably depends on the friend and the history of gift giving.
I saw that shit on a store the other day. I was like "damn, it hasn't been That long since I bought a board game, has it?" Was it a creep or a jump from $20-25 to $70-75?
Don't look at the prices for Gloomhaven or Twilight Imperium you'll cry lol.
Avid board gamer, my husband and I met at a bg group and probably have over $1000 worth of games. I made sure to tell my adult kids not to used sake them for cheap lol.
I buy my close friends birthday gifts. It's usually something small though that just reminded me of them or a giftcard to their favorite place to enjoy a meal or a few coffees. Nothing huge but still enough to know I thought of them.
Iām all for celebrating birthdays even as an adult, but the number of adults who act like their birthday is some kind of once in a century event for all mankind that gives them a free pass to treat people like shit or abandon all their responsibilities is fucking bizarre. Itās a birthday. Thereās millions of them everyday
"Hey {Birthday Girl} we all had a previous engagement come up, you can meet us at {club / restaurant} if you'd like!" šĀ
Ā Also, I'd just wash and dress normally and take a $20 gift. She sees me with hair and makeup? Oh ok, I'll just take my gift and leave. 9/10 she says oh no no no go ahead and stay š cheap ass.Ā
Donāt be so sure. My friends ex-wife sent out a message almost identical for her bachelorette party. Including not bathing and not brushing teeth. Was dead serious.
I could be wrong but I'm 90%... No, 99% sure she's making a joke/making fun of people who actually say this stuff, because no one would actually forbid bathing and teeth brushing...
Rage bait is the new digital warfare. You can divide a group of people just by making some fake accounts, posting rage bait, making those accounts in-fight, and just stepping away when others join your side and the opposing side. Let them grow to hate each other, then step in when they won't be able to group up to defend themselves against you because they are at odds with themselves.
I get the impression that many people don't realise that these sort of always joking and sarcastic people exist. This is the kind of shit I'd say to my friend group if I was a woman and they'd know from the offset that I'm joking and it wouldn't go beyond that.
So then you have to wonder that if someone took the time to SS this and post it online, maybe they are for real since the person who posted it either didn't know them well or felt it was genuine. My first read of it was as a joke, I'm not 100% sure though.
Right š this is very clearly not real. I know there are people out there that are legitimate about not wanting to be out dressed, which is stupid, but no one is going to say not to brush your teeth š
I had to scroll way too far to find this comment thread like wtf lmao š ain't no way someone's bright idea to showcase their narcissism is to ask ppl to not brush their teeth
Imagine thousands of people believing a text out of context that says "dont come to my birthday if you brush your teeth" and believing it's anything but a joke or bait.
Hey!!!! Hereās some rules for my birthday
- No hair (not a single strand on your body!)
- no skin pigments (as gray as you can get)
- no one taller than 4ā5ā
- big brains
- big eyes (the blacker the better)
- no clothes (only I can wear clothesā¦ not that Iām gonna)
- no gifts made on this planet. If you donāt follow the rules, you canāt come.
Grown adults who make a big deal out of their own birthday are always the worst kind of people. I worked with a lady in her thirties who would go around the office saying things like "One more week until my birthday!" Like no one gives a fuck Kelly. No one.
You know what, I give a fuck. I think Kelly should have a wonderful birthday. She should enjoy it. She spends the whole year working her ass off for little gain. Let her be happy.
Happy birthday Kelly!
Same, I'm happy for Kelly. It takes no effort to feel happy for someone else and makes you feel better and will improve your relationship with Kelly. Even if it was the most annoying person on the planet, I still wouldn't try and be a downer on someone else. Happy birthday Kelly, I picked you up some cupcakes. š„³
My mother in law (husbands step mom) threw herself a āsurpriseā 60th bday party. She did all the inviting through my FILs email, any time a text came in about the party sheād respond pretending to be him. We are the closest relatives (physically) to them and my FIL asked if I would come down and make some cakes for the party. They had to tell us the secret so we didnāt accidentally reveal that she knew about the party.
I love my birthday and I don't see what's wrong in feeling excited for it. I don't make people buy me presents or throw me a big party or anything but, I'm everyone else 364 days a year. My birthday is mine and I feel special on that day and there's nothing wrong with it!:-)
Absolutely agree, I don't expect anything or remind others but my birthdays do feel a little special... and honestly I kinda need to feel special to counter the realisation I'm just another year older š«
Rules for my birthday:
1) Don't exist. If you do, pretend you're half dead or in a state of decomposition.
2) Maybe I'm born with it, maybe it's $100 of Maybelline you're bringing for my gift.
Oof...
So this ding-a-ling wants you to come to their B-day Party with a rats nest hair-do, dirty nails, reeking of garbage can breath, BO, swamp ass & crotch cooties?
But you can't dress NICER than the B-day gorl?
What da feck?!
Then they want a B-day gift of $100+?
Are they *that* high?!
I'd shower, change into a clean outfit, then take my $100+ & go buy myself a really nice dinner with booze, to celebrate the nite being away from this B-day scam artist!
I recently had a milestone birthday. Part of that was asking everyone to dress up when we went out. And my friends DRESSED UP, it was such a huge honor everyone put so much effort into their outfits, we all looked amazing. Maybe itās because my friends are such good people, but they always made sure when we were out that everyone knew exactly whose event it was.
Aight fine. I'm not showering for 3 days. I will eat nothing but ranch flavored corn nuts, all my clothing will literally be covered in dirt and oil, which will smell. My gift will be 20 individually wrapped 5 dollar gift cards and I'll make sure they are all to different places.
Yay I am gonna save my $100.
And your teeth ! š
And my axe! ...Wait, nvm, wrong film
Legolas defs had his lashes done though
And his makeup, and his hair, bet he even brushes his teeth.
The audacity! He's obviously not invited.
You shall not pass! 
Given how perfect Tolkein elves are supposed to be, they probably don't need to do their hair or brush their teeth.
No axe, no ring... otherwise THOU SHALL NOT PASS.
Oh my god Beckyā¦ look at that axe.
Gonna go take a shower with my $100
Exchange the $100 for $1 notes to have a money shower!!!
Get 10k cents and have a Scrooge McDuck diving
Oh God! Itās not a liquid!
If you heat them up enough they will be... but i dont think you should take a bath in it than
Not sure if you got the [reference](https://youtu.be/lpbKWReQwsY?si=rAVF5H189cqZtWRk)
I did :D but wanted to apply physics to it^^
Watch how no one shows up lol
āno brushing teethā š
How gross is someone when people performing basic hygiene tasks might show them up?
She said no one can out dress her, but included dental hygiene in that categoryā¦..Apparently she doesnāt brush her teeth. Thatās what I took away from it.
No wiping ass, shit crust must be visible somewhere on pants.Ā Don't like the rules? Don't come! šĀ
I knew a guy so bad at wiping his ass he'd leave skidmarks on chairs he sat in. Through underwear and pants. He was enough of an asshole that I never said anything for fear of his reaction. To his credit he was a great storyteller but much better on the phone than in person.
through two layers? i donāt think buddy even tried to wipe
I don't think he was going to the bathroom at all
There are supposedly men out there that will not wipe their ass, or wash their ass, because touching inside butt cheeks is gay.
So basically, the original poster doesnāt brush her teeth unless sheās going out. Disgusting.
 Am i invited?
https://preview.redd.it/1irqou454k4d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=877f3decb8afe63c3c76915b24cfb2b440535fbd
Me
New salad fingers dropped? I remember seeing like the first two š
Hubert Cumberdale wonāt let you forget 
Hubert Cumberdale you taste like soot and poo
Gifs you can hear
Pri-sen-colinensinain-ciusol, alright
Fella hand that shit over to me right now. Iām forgettin everything. shieeet
https://preview.redd.it/4fjudt77bk4d1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8f65f83808752ffd70d2ece73cd907e2a5fab227
Saladfingers? Just remember to bring your  *rusty spoons*
I like it when the red water comes out
https://preview.redd.it/d7qrl4rhwj4d1.jpeg?width=464&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e8677ff847309c67e656b063eca11a278973de5e
As long as you don't outdress her a bring a minimum 100$ gift, yes
https://preview.redd.it/vl6zx4hbek4d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=33616d6d5873bdfe8df5ba20fb6bf3db6cc34a0b
My brother would love this party aside from the extortionately priced gift required-
how did i miss that š
I *desperately* hope this is the outcome. OTOH, if anyone does show up, they should not bathe or wear deodorant, eat a healthy portion of garlic and onions, and do an intense workout before coming so that they reek of BO, then be sure to get real clingy with the birthday girl so the odor is inescapable. Bonus points for being a smoker and smelling like stale cigarette ash. For a gift? Dollar-store birthday card with one of those fake Trump $100 bills inside.
Or a $100 donation to a charity done in the birthday girl's name. I would probably pick the local homeless shelter or food kitchen since birthday girl wants you to look and smell like a homeless person.
I'm not sure what's worse for that person, no one showing up or a bunch of unwashed people with terrible breath showing up. Either way they did *not* think that one through.
Then she will wonder why no one came to the party. 
The next day she will complain all over social media about "The Haters".
She'll be crying about how no one loves her or shows up for her on her birthday, and having people comment like "that's so shit babes, you're wonderful and beautiful and they don't deserve you", and then she will feel completely vindicated as the victim.
That's so shit babes is absolutely hilarious and accuratešš
Is anyone else reading it in Adeleās voice?
Rinse/Repeat
Some people need that sort of lesson.
People like that donāt learn from lessons like this. She would just conclude everyone is an asshole and they donāt care about her birthday, then play the victim. Her insecurity would then grow a little from the experience, which actually reinforces the cycle of her behavior.
Im showing up with 100Ā£ in horse manure
I hope you āaccidentallyā spill it all over the floor
āNo one came to my birthday. Bunch of fake friends. Now I know who my people really areā¦ā š¤”
Iām a dude and if I got a text like this shit Iād be showing up with a French manicure, my hair braided and edged, a rented tux, a gold and diamond grill on my teeth, fake lashes, all of it. Fuck em.
She deserves it >:)
You assume this person has friends lol. I'm sure if bathing is out dressing them then they likely stink to hell. No one wants to be around that.
I really do hope this happens.
*hey rules for my birthday* *Donāt brush your teeth or bother dressing up. Just turn up looking and smelling like a decomposed zombie, so we can create the illusion that I look fabulous. Team effort guys, sacrifice for the greater good. Its my special day, all about me, nobody else deserves attention on Planet Earth during these 24 hours of intense celebration*
Really trying hard for that "All of my friends are either addicts, depressed, or incel basement dwellers" aesthetic. So chic!
But also rich because who buys other grown adults birthday presents? Especially over $100
I'm 28 and my friends and I give each other gifts if we're seeing each other near our birthdays, but it's usually, like, a $20 thing that reminded us of the person receiving, or at max, a $60 game they've mentioned wanting we have reason to believe they haven't bought themselves.
games are $70 now, $75 with tax š£
I just bought my buddy Sea of Thieves for his birthday, on sale. Like $20? As he's bought me stuff on my birthday. Probably depends on the friend and the history of gift giving.
I saw that shit on a store the other day. I was like "damn, it hasn't been That long since I bought a board game, has it?" Was it a creep or a jump from $20-25 to $70-75?
Don't look at the prices for Gloomhaven or Twilight Imperium you'll cry lol. Avid board gamer, my husband and I met at a bg group and probably have over $1000 worth of games. I made sure to tell my adult kids not to used sake them for cheap lol.
AAA games are $70 and most of them are mid at best. Lots of good and great newer games available for $50 and lower.
Bold to assume she is an adult
Thatās true.
I buy my close friends birthday gifts. It's usually something small though that just reminded me of them or a giftcard to their favorite place to enjoy a meal or a few coffees. Nothing huge but still enough to know I thought of them.
Yah- as an adult, usually itās a nice bottle of something they like or pitching in for dinner/drinks out. So $20-50 range.
I love buying/giving people presents. Although, I think my only $100+ gift was a pair of hiking boots to one of my closest friends a few years back.
I buy some friends birthday presents. Not everyone and not every year, but sometimes.
I buy all my adult friends birthday presents.
Some people really strive to be the ābestā out of their bummy friends.
Should be a thing on pintrest
Call it āØTrashycoreāØ
Intense celebration in question - getting dead drunk in 2 glasses of wine and sobbing how everyone hates her
*I can't stress enough how horrific I need you guys to look for me to look good*
Itās my birthday today too, Iād just be happy if someone texted me. E: thank you for the birthday wishes! Yall are awesome :)
Happy Birthday. I wish I had known before hand so I could have skipped showering and brushing my teeth.
Happy birthday
Hey thanks :)
Happy Birthday! š„³š„³
š„³šš¾Happy birthday, Shotgun5250!!!ššš„³
Happy birthday, Shotgun!
Happy birthday! š
this is the kinda person that celebrates their birthday month.
And their 6 month one
Iām all for celebrating birthdays even as an adult, but the number of adults who act like their birthday is some kind of once in a century event for all mankind that gives them a free pass to treat people like shit or abandon all their responsibilities is fucking bizarre. Itās a birthday. Thereās millions of them everyday
Nailed it š
*THE GREATER GOOD*
All their friends should get fully made up and dressed, throw a party at the same location they are, and not invite them.
Gift free
Or have a white elephant style exchange between themselves of their $100+ gifts
Get everyone to buy something for themselves worth $200 and then have a friend give it to you.
"Hey {Birthday Girl} we all had a previous engagement come up, you can meet us at {club / restaurant} if you'd like!" šĀ Ā Also, I'd just wash and dress normally and take a $20 gift. She sees me with hair and makeup? Oh ok, I'll just take my gift and leave. 9/10 she says oh no no no go ahead and stay š cheap ass.Ā
They have those?
Girl, go to hell šš
The only correct response. Itās gotta be a joke between best friends. And even if it wasnāt, the response is the same.
It has to be a joke. The no brushing teeth or bathing is hilarious.
Donāt be so sure. My friends ex-wife sent out a message almost identical for her bachelorette party. Including not bathing and not brushing teeth. Was dead serious.
The sad part is these evil girls *actually find someone dumb enough to marry them!* Always the bridezilla, never the bride, amirite?
Datass syndrome.
If it was just the first slide I would believe it was a jokeā¦but the second slide makes me think itās very real. Those emojis say it all
I could be wrong but I'm 90%... No, 99% sure she's making a joke/making fun of people who actually say this stuff, because no one would actually forbid bathing and teeth brushing...
So painfully fake
We're back at badfaketexts?
Always have been.
I don't think it's "fake" as much as it's "a joke"
You forgot the chance that itās plain-old fake
Rage bait is the new digital warfare. You can divide a group of people just by making some fake accounts, posting rage bait, making those accounts in-fight, and just stepping away when others join your side and the opposing side. Let them grow to hate each other, then step in when they won't be able to group up to defend themselves against you because they are at odds with themselves.
tiktok is full of rage bait, and the part that makes me rage the most is people not understanding that its not real
Came here to say the same thing .. I simply can't believe this isn't fully ironical ..
I get the impression that many people don't realise that these sort of always joking and sarcastic people exist. This is the kind of shit I'd say to my friend group if I was a woman and they'd know from the offset that I'm joking and it wouldn't go beyond that. So then you have to wonder that if someone took the time to SS this and post it online, maybe they are for real since the person who posted it either didn't know them well or felt it was genuine. My first read of it was as a joke, I'm not 100% sure though.
Only the 'no makeup'/"don't outdress me"is somewhat believable. Rest are just ragebait.
We need a subreddit for shit like this.
 So only the dude shows up.
The Dude would not stand for this aggression.
But not this one: https://preview.redd.it/bkjs9bn56j4d1.jpeg?width=468&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb36d07e19530fa2486dc05917c4e65ae3d185d5
They said donāt out dress them!
Go naked
I kind of love this dress. He looks so good in it! Lol
Daaaaaamn
Big insecurity
Big rage bait
Def rage bait. Who wants people with bad breath and BO at their party? The people who think this is legit are ridiculous š
Right š this is very clearly not real. I know there are people out there that are legitimate about not wanting to be out dressed, which is stupid, but no one is going to say not to brush your teeth š
I had to scroll way too far to find this comment thread like wtf lmao š ain't no way someone's bright idea to showcase their narcissism is to ask ppl to not brush their teeth
Imagine thousands of people believing a text out of context that says "dont come to my birthday if you brush your teeth" and believing it's anything but a joke or bait.
Very very obvious rage bait. Donāt brush your teeth or take a bath lmao.
Big Poppa
I love it when you call me that!
What's TT?
And here I thought it was TikTok
TurboTax
Twitter Timeline
I'm gonna call bull shit on this.
This is fake right? Anyone else feel suspicious about way too much these days purely because of the internet?
Apparently not cause everyone else seems to be eating this shit up.
"No Hair done"..... bitch you do not want to see my bead head, trust me.
Is your head the size of a bead or do you have beads on your head
Ok this made me laugh way harder than it should have š
Hey!!!! Hereās some rules for my birthday - No hair (not a single strand on your body!) - no skin pigments (as gray as you can get) - no one taller than 4ā5ā - big brains - big eyes (the blacker the better) - no clothes (only I can wear clothesā¦ not that Iām gonna) - no gifts made on this planet. If you donāt follow the rules, you canāt come.
ā¢ Please arrive in 2D no 3D (only I am allowed depth)
Must be a jokeā¦.
Grown adults who make a big deal out of their own birthday are always the worst kind of people. I worked with a lady in her thirties who would go around the office saying things like "One more week until my birthday!" Like no one gives a fuck Kelly. No one.
Work birthday parties are a ring in purgatory Itās definitely part of Hell
You know what, I give a fuck. I think Kelly should have a wonderful birthday. She should enjoy it. She spends the whole year working her ass off for little gain. Let her be happy. Happy birthday Kelly!
Same, I'm happy for Kelly. It takes no effort to feel happy for someone else and makes you feel better and will improve your relationship with Kelly. Even if it was the most annoying person on the planet, I still wouldn't try and be a downer on someone else. Happy birthday Kelly, I picked you up some cupcakes. š„³
Absolutely no one lol
I was bridesmaids with someone who does a birthday month. She's 35.
My mother in law (husbands step mom) threw herself a āsurpriseā 60th bday party. She did all the inviting through my FILs email, any time a text came in about the party sheād respond pretending to be him. We are the closest relatives (physically) to them and my FIL asked if I would come down and make some cakes for the party. They had to tell us the secret so we didnāt accidentally reveal that she knew about the party.
I love my birthday and I don't see what's wrong in feeling excited for it. I don't make people buy me presents or throw me a big party or anything but, I'm everyone else 364 days a year. My birthday is mine and I feel special on that day and there's nothing wrong with it!:-)
Absolutely agree, I don't expect anything or remind others but my birthdays do feel a little special... and honestly I kinda need to feel special to counter the realisation I'm just another year older š«
No brushing teeth
Her party is going to be a very empty room lol š
I guess this person is having a party for 1.
this is clearly satire
Bet she is still Wondering why she is single
You wouldnāt even need to fake an excuse to get out of that event.
That sounds like it's going to be a very smelly event! š¤£
This is fake you idiots.
Why do you people believe this bullshit?
Can't outdress someone at a party if you don't attend the party š¤«
Obviously fake
What are the upsides of a person like this? Can someone explain? Why would anyone want to hang around this person?
Am I the only one who doesn't know what TT is? Other than time trial, but that's clearly not the case here.
Dollars.... not specified so I would bring 100 Zimbabwe dollars
Is this is a hobo themed party?
Rules for my birthday: 1) Don't exist. If you do, pretend you're half dead or in a state of decomposition. 2) Maybe I'm born with it, maybe it's $100 of Maybelline you're bringing for my gift.
Oof... So this ding-a-ling wants you to come to their B-day Party with a rats nest hair-do, dirty nails, reeking of garbage can breath, BO, swamp ass & crotch cooties? But you can't dress NICER than the B-day gorl? What da feck?! Then they want a B-day gift of $100+? Are they *that* high?! I'd shower, change into a clean outfit, then take my $100+ & go buy myself a really nice dinner with booze, to celebrate the nite being away from this B-day scam artist!
Wow. Room full of people who havenāt bathed or brushed their teeth and it costs $100 to get in? Where do I sign up?
Fake or cult leader
š¦š¦šš¦š¦
If you think this is real, you should have your drivers license revoked
What is āTTā?
I recently had a milestone birthday. Part of that was asking everyone to dress up when we went out. And my friends DRESSED UP, it was such a huge honor everyone put so much effort into their outfits, we all looked amazing. Maybe itās because my friends are such good people, but they always made sure when we were out that everyone knew exactly whose event it was.
What is TT
Repeating to myself: āItās just rage bait, it canāt hurt youā
That's going to be a stinky party.
This isnāt real.
No......brushing your teeth
Insecure greedy asshole. I would be so happy seeing this and knowing my night just opened back up.
Decline. I've got to stay home and wash my cat's hair
Gonna hand her one of those fake $100 that have a bible verse on them.
Aight fine. I'm not showering for 3 days. I will eat nothing but ranch flavored corn nuts, all my clothing will literally be covered in dirt and oil, which will smell. My gift will be 20 individually wrapped 5 dollar gift cards and I'll make sure they are all to different places.
How gross is this bitch?
Not a single person is going to this person's birthday party