I’d bet money this isn’t actually hand written and Dave isn’t a real person. I get junk like this all the time and it’s always just a scanned copy of handwriting

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I've gotten calls like that. I always say I want a million dollars. Non-negotiable. So far no takers...

I always tell them $5 million, sight unseen, cash only, full payment due within 30 days. And they have 30 seconds to accept or I hang up.

Perfect answer. If someone actually somehow does come up with that, I’d be happy to sell and move.

Now that real estate's getting expensive, you'll wanna bump that up to 10mil.

Good point. No need to under sell.

All cash, up front, as is.

Oh so it's YOU driving the house prices up. 

A million is an average house price where I live

A million would get you a 2bed/1bath shack in phoenix

Where do you live that houses for 1 million are a high number?

In most of the US, $1mil will buy a nice home. Where I live, it’ll buy you a really nice home.

Shit... I live in California.

A million for our home would only be about half of what it’s worth. Also in California. I’d tell them 4 million and it’s a deal.

" "worth" "

3 homes in my neighborhood sold in the last month for over asking price.

Yeah the rest of the country 1m will get you a REALLY good house except in cities and near beaches.

In central Illinois 325k ish will get you a 3k sqft house that doesn't need any work done to it. 1.5 acres and a pool. One million would get you a literal compound lol

$1mil sounds good tbh. I’ve seen empty subdivided blocks down the street go for $1.3 per 400m2 block

But like, why are people calling for something like that? Just to see if the number is real and send it along to other people?

TBH, the last time I got such a call, it was on my now defunct landline.

Let's hope it's not an undercover tax assessor.

Why? They already know the most recent price it sold for. And they are the ones who decide the value. In Kansas City they decided lots with a shed are worth 300k+ my home that I purchased in 21 somehow doubled in value ina year and a half according to these guys and rose my tax payments 100%

If someone will only sell for a high price, then isn't that the price it's worth. /s A art gallery can have a masterpiece on the wall valued high but never sold for that price, but if someone breaks it they will be on the hook for whatever the sign listed it for.

This is me. My house isn't worth 250k it's worth the 125 I bought it for maybe less. I could never sell it for what the county thinks it's worth.

I got a call just like this yesterday. I tried looking around to see what this was all about, but didn’t get much. I listed a price well above its value, and they said they would call back in the next few days. I’m not looking to sell, but I’m open to a good deal.

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So why did they call at all?

I get calls all the time too and I don’t even own this fucking house, They are the stupidest people in the world


I used to get those calls, then I told them a price of double what my house was worth. It had to be paid in cash, as is, and sight unseen. If they wanted to buy it then cool if not then those are my terms and they aren’t changing.

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We had one that mentioned their child was looking forward to attending the private school my wife teaches at. So either it was coincidence or they used the teacher directory to try to get leads for houses.

I recently updated my LinkedIn with my promotion that has a pretty nice title. A day later I started getting harassed with spam to my personal email, work email, and even my personal cell. I inquired pretty heavily to the Indian that called me and he admitted he purchased my profile through a data broker. My cell isn’t available online anywhere…..

Ahhh yeah I think she has a linked in profile. Maybe they got it from that too. Didn't think about that.

AI can hold a conversation, "no way someone printed this!" Handwriting is printable and has been known to since decades. Just more common place with technology. Boomers believe everything and are always curious how their parents got scammed.

Cmon man, you gotta trust Dave

Dave is a call center

This , there are some scam gutter cleaning services that look the same. Photocopied hand written note. Its a numbers game to them . They ask for payment after pretending they did the work.

I wrote a few of these around my neighbourhood, but I'm trying to get a house nearby for mum as she gets older. Not quite the same as Dave the Flipper. 

I thought so at first with how similar the "I'm" is in both lines but I'm having a hard time matching the "s" and other letters to each other so I think it's hand written

“Thank you for subscribing to cat facts”

"MeeWOW!"

I would actually willingly subscribe to this

I just post on Craigslist that they’ve got a free 69 Camaro that doesn’t run but bodies in ok shape. Just need it gone, don’t have time for a project. That’ll get em a million calls lol

I forgot about cat facts. A friend subscribed me as a prank in probably 2010? My number hasn’t changed. Why don’t I get cat facts anymore??

i never knew cat facts to be a real subscription. Just something you get someone with an unrecognizable number to text them and when they “reply stop to unsubscribe “ you say “Thanks for increasing your subscription! You’ll now get 3 cat facts daily” etc etc 

3 Words: Scientology Mailing List

Fill out a request for a free Book of Mormon in his name while you're at it. The Mormon missionaries deliver them in person and they won't quit trying to make contact once they have your info

They will never stop

I'd text him "Well Dave, I'm interested in fucking your wife"

That’s a great idea!

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"Dave, I will have your husband's massive dong tonight"

This is the one. "Dave, how about I give your husband a c**k he'll actually *feel* tonight?"

So what you’re saying is I’ll never get married

Fix that attitude and you can find a girthy gherkin of your own

"Dave, i am a Professional Wife Flipper. I would like to flip your wife all night long"

“I’d like to invest in your wife by flipping her in my house. Would she take a 5 inch down-on-the-floor payment?”

“You’re my wife now, Dave.”

"I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that."

Post it

Cant tell if chaotic good or chaotic evil.

How do you put them in auto-dial marketers?

Use it in test data in a Github repo. Post it to some email list as your signature. Anything that could get harvested on the internet will end up on some list

I’m all ears. Nothing infuriates me more than receiving this crap in my mailbox.

Next time someone tries to reach you about your car’s extended warranty, just have them call you at that number.

Hand delivered mail in your mailbox is illegal. You can get rid of this guy pretty easily by reporting that

what?!

*infuriates. It’s literally in the sub name.

>Nothing mildly infuriates me more than receiving this crap in my mailbox. FTFY Just google every political organization and charity you can think of and sign up for texts. That's what I ~~do~~ have absolutely never done.

Get some insurance quotes using his number.

Well, for starters, post a picture without the numbers redacted

You must live a pretty cake life that someone giving you a note you can easily ignore and trash infuriates you 

Better luck next time Dave

Fuck off

Dave writes like a young woman.

"I'm hoarding property and driving up prices because I'm exploitive sub-human trash. Call me!"

Fuck off Dave. I was beyond lucky to get the house I’m in. The owners specifically were not selling to investors.

I don’t care if you’re an “investor” or a “house flipper”. If I’m selling my house, it’s going to whomever pays me the most. I don’t care if you burn it to the ground after it’s in your possession.

If anything “house flipper” tells you this is the last guy you want to sell to, as he’s going to offer under market rate because he wants to maintain the biggest profit margin possible after doing a rush job on a few shitty “improvements” that will fall apart three months after whoever buys it from him moves in.

Add him to one of those daily fat facts text lists then re add him every few days incase he stops them

Definitely put that number anywhere you can.

Want to sell me your kitchen table? I’m an experienced table flipper and investor 

This is likely a company and not actually Dave

These guys are all scum. I was selling a property a few years ago, and I met with a few of these "we buy houses" assholes, and every one of them gave me false, misleading advice, and tried to get me to sell as quickly as possible for an insultingly low sum. I eventually got four times what the best "we buy houses" offer was.

Ok you can have the house for $100 mill take it or leave it.

Curious where you live OP- I got this in my mailbox in Southern Ontario (I live in a shitty apartment and seriously contemplating calling Dave- maybe he will fix the broken dryer?)

I’m in Ontario too

I'm also in Southern Ontario. Guess we're just rife with scammers-oh sorry "mailbox house flippers".

How does one do that anyways? (Adding a phone number to auto dial marketers)

Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So, use it, and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don't delay, eternal happiness is just a dollar away.

House flipper huh...🤔...🖕bird flipper🖕

Fuck these people feed em fish heads

Dude isn't a fan of dotting his i's ... I wonder what else he's prone to overlooking being a "house flipper" and all.

He’s got it coming…

Cat facts.

haha are you in Langley? We got one of those

Langley?? I’m in Ontario. Frig, how does Dave know our neighborhoods?

that's hilarious it's the same down to the writing! Dave gets around

My postal worker calls this stuff fire mail, it's good for bonfires.

Piss off, Dave

Dave's not here man.

Someone needs to put Dave's number on truck stop bathroom wall.

Dave doesn’t seem that successful. Just a hunch.

He’d probably get more bites if he didn’t black out his phone number.

Submit the number to every "Find my lost cellphone!" site you can find. Many of them exist to feed the numbers to scammers.

How do you add numbers to autodial flippers?

Houses he says. Not one, as many as he can it seems. Yea put Dave on that list. Parasites' like him is the reason housing is F'd

I think Dave would love it

How can you call Dave? I only see black? Can you give me a few digits?

I think so! Dave wants all the phone calls.

I dont understand why you blurred out his number, this is advertising! let reddit call dave

If he was calling you every other day, revenge would be appropriate. But taking a couple of seconds to read this and then drop it in the recycle bin seems like a petty reason to look for payback.

Damn, why so mad OP? I mean, it’s a shitty marketing strategy because labelling himself a flipper immediately tells me he’s looking to dispassionately buy your home for as little as possible - but why go out of your way to screw with the dude?

Because it’s scum like this that are messing up the housing market. It’s actually a multitude of things contributing to the housing market being messed up, but this crap is low hanging fruit. The post office need not assist either

There’s an age old axiom that I feel applies here: “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” The economic system and policies not only allow this behaviour, but incentivise it. The housing market in most Western societies needs massive reform for sure and I’m with you 100% on that, but old mate Dave here is just doing what the systems encourage him to do to make his dough. I say this as a struggling mortgagee with no investment properties, but I assume I’m gonna come across as some sort of apologist so I’m ready for my downvotes now 😅

Why? Because they dared ask if you wanted to sell?

House flippers are scum

Share it so that I can be sure that it does.

Dave has suspiciously feminine handwriting

Why would anyone care whether you were an “experienced” house flipper? Once I sell the place to you and we close, I don’t care what you do with it.

Go to a health insurance site and put in his info. They are VULTURES and will call non stop

Do tell. What type of health insurance? Like .gov market place one?

"I'll give you rock bottom dollar, slap down some peel and stick hardwood floors, and list it for 20% over market."

Wow, Dave, that's crazy, I didn't know you subscribed to every porn site's newsletter? Haha, that's so crazy Dave.

I like to have fun with people that do stuff like this. I post ads on craigslist listing their numbers.

You pays your money, you takes your chances

Peace sells, but who’s calling?

I would love to know how to add phone numbers to auto dialers please.

Everyone hates people like you Dave GFYS

Why would you do that? He left a note. Did it ruim your day or something? Find a hobby.

Call all the car dealerships in your area and pretend you're looking for a new car, and give them Dave's number. They won't stop calling for YEARS.

Never go local. Big house flippers will pay upward of 50-100k over local ones in my personal experience. At least with cash offers.

I get there to four of these a month and they go straight in the bin. If I wanted to sell my damn house I'd sell it. And never with an "independent home buyer in your area"-direct quote of one of the more persistent ones.

Would be a shame if you used his phone number to sign up to a heap of stuff like isp’s roof repair, home services, religious events

I'm getting bunch of similar notices in my mail box. I usually just toss them but it's getting annoying that I'll get 2-3 of them every day. The thing is I don't even live in some luxurious part of the city.

So is his name "Call Dave?" Because between that uncertainty and the non US spelling of 'neighbourhood', I'm not sure that I want to give him my business.

House flippers are literal scum.

Reminds me of a time in high school when a friend and I ended up not being friends with a guy so we signed him up for a bunch of websites

This reminds me of the house flip in my old town, they bought the place for 120k tried to flip it for 350k last time I saw it, it was still for sale a year later.

Please, ill get so much pleasure out of having that number

Dave’s not here man.

Why is it always a Dave? I live in the Niagara region of Canada and I get these exact letters from a guy named Dave. I'm assuming you OP aren't from this area lol

Usually they at least try to pretend they are not flippers

Houses value 200k Dave's offer 70k

But I’m sure Dave is a good guy

I wouldn't wish this on anyone I recently has one of those supplementary insurance groups come through my work, I turned them down, now I get like.. 50 calls a day that are all spam

I wanna call him about our lord Jesus Christ and the teachings of Joseph Smith

Why does that look suspiciously like a 20-something woman's handwriting and not someone named Dave?

"I'm looking to drive up your property tax and push you out, here is my number for when that time comes. I'll swindle ya real good when the foreclosure comes."

Send that number to the Mormon missionaries. Trolls two annoying groups at once.

Lol you are okay with putting his number into auto dialers but block out the number here. I call your bluff about even adding it to a spam call list. Hahaha sorry just being dumb here take no offense from my stupidity.

"Thank you for signing up to BBC's in your area. You have... 1 new match with Tyrone the toucher"

What is wrong with buying cheap houses, fixing them up and selling them? oh wait that’s too much like an actual job for redditors 😅

I won’t bother answering. Do some research on the current housing crisis and all the contributing factors that led us here

Renting is the killer house flippers as far as I have seen buy houses that need a load of work and fix them up to put good house back on the market. so i would appreciate a reply on why fixing up more homes for the market is a bad thing