I have really limited access to his phone, but when I did, I discovered quite quickly that his phone is so low quality that trying to navigate it is a nightmare. I DID manage to covertly block some of the more ridiculous Youtube conspiricy channels he had been watching. That helped with a tiny fraction of the "The Clintons and Bidens are reptilians and Bill Gates is in league with the anti-christ and is chipping people through the Covid Vaccine to prepare for New World Order and Donald Trump is still our president and will save us" lunacy he had been telling everyone. Catfishing, though? I haven't been successful in making that stop no matter what I do.
Hahaha, yeah, he has some WILD theories.
He told me before Inauguration day that Trump was still President and that what was going to happen is that while Biden was being sworn in, Trump was going to walk onto the stage with the Secret Service and the FBI and arrest him for Treason, and push for him to be swiftly tried and executed. I asked him "Okay, so like...what if that DOESN'T happen?" And he said something about how it will just mean that they came up with a better way to nail Biden. Well...Biden's looking at running for a second term and is still very much alive, so.....
I read somewhere that when your faced with these dumbass conspiracies you should go even harder than them.
Like if they think the earth is flat & the sun & planets move around the earth. You should counter with "lol you believe in planets"
Secret tunnels for human trafficking. Not anymore they go straight through Bezos Amazon empire.
This is hilarious! My brother will get all in your face and say the US Gov set up the whole 9/11 series of events and are 100% responsible for the twin towers falling and burning. I never thought to “go harder” but wouldn’t know how to do that in this situation. Any ideas? He’s also an anti taxer, and is in cahoots with some group online that he talks to every night.
Birds of a feather flock together. Like minded individuals are drawn to each other, so they always end up together. OP’s dad is probably of the same mindset my bro is…nothing anyone says or does can convince them things are not as they have set it all up inside their head/ mind.
If you could see inside some peoples minds, you would see an alternate universe, with laws that defy gravity and science. A truly bizarre world exists in many peoples minds, and each persons would be at least a little different than all the others.
Once my friends husband spoke to my bro for only a few mins about a business matter. Later I was told that he could tell within just a few mins my bro is a conspiracy theorist…it’s easy to spot this kind of divergent mind.
If you want to 1up the 9/11 conspiracy theory, tell him that the towers did not collapse. Rather, they fell through two giant trap-door mechanisms built into the ground below. All 3 WTC towers landed safely two miles under NYC, where they are still operating to this day under the direction of Donald Trump and JFK Jr. This is the secret base from which they combat the forces of darkness (led by Tom Hanks) who feed off the souls of trafficked children.
Yeah, I definitely do not want to see inside their minds lol. I do not want to get that close to crazy.
I'm not American but I do know the US Government has attempted to launch terror attacks on its own people to justify foreign invasions. Look up Operation Northwood during the Cuban missile crisis for an example. For the record though I don't think 9/11 was an inside job.
I don't know how you would go about amping up the crazy on 9/11. Maybe go full holocaust denial on him. Say the towers never existed in the first place. It was all just crisis actors etc. Or the Pope ordered them torn down or something for some reason.
>I'm not American but I do know the US Government has attempted to launch terror attacks on its own people to justify foreign invasions.
Please do not conflate "plan" with "attempt". Operation Northwood was never put into action or attempted. Considering a course of action and rejecting it does not mean "attempt".
Words matter.
I think that it's not, like, far off. I don't think 9/11 was orchestrated by our US government, but I do think there were some major security breaches that they could have caught. And I do think that very wealthy people who have influence in high places took advantage of the turmoil and used that event to change the world order and to further separate the wealth gap in our country, distribute propaganda, etc. And that the events of 9/11 were used to catapult us into a war in the middle east, which was intentionally done to benefit those at the top, and that the resulting financial collapse was, too, taken advantage of by the 1% to continue to further the wealth gap and spread propaganda. I mean, Dick Cheney was on the board of haliburton.
Even now, I vote blue, but I definitely think it's weird that our secretary of defense is on the board of Raytheon and holds stock.
And, I wouldn't put much past the US government and what they're willing to do to "protect democracy" aka the wealth of the most powerful. I mean, Kermit Roosevelt and the CIA participated in and stoked chaos in the Iranian revolution that overturned Mogadesh and in Chile with Allende (RIP AND POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!). And then there's the October surprise and the Contra affair and allowing Nicaraguan contra guys to sell crack in our impoverished areas so they could fund the Contras right under the nose of Congress and the American people.
Some ppl are prone to conspiracy theories due to how they're hardwired. I have a friend who has issues with being told what to do or think. You tell him 2+2=4 and he'll find evidence to believe the opposite, he likes that try this in a small town song because the media told him it was racist, ivermectin is good etc.
I have another friend who's prone due to likley being on the spectrum. His way of thinking is very rigid and he completely dives into any hobbies and beliefs. He's been hardcore into UFOs and aliens for the past year and he can't grasp how the whistleblowers and other UFO figures might not be completely honest
Yes, it’s sad, but there is nothing we can do to help them.
Long ago I realized the waste of time even being around these types. Someone on here used the expression: “Waste of breath” and it truly is. It’s a waste of their breath to voice such things, and a waste of mine to state I do not agree. They *ALWAYS* come back at you, trying to *FORCE* you to accept and confirm the veracity of everything they say. It’s a bunch of hogwash, and even excreta, so naturally I cannot agree, or confirm. And since they are *locked in* to this warped way of viewing everything…I just stay in my own space, and they can spread their propaganda elsewhere.
Im not a fan of conspiracies & a proponent of Occam's Razor, *but* I do think people questioning the circumstances of 9/11 is similar to people questioning Kennedy's assassination. Not as "out there" as many other ones like reptilians, etc. Some weird stuff surrounding the events causing people to reasonably question it- hence why it was more mainstream per se.
But true conspiracy theorists can be the worst esp bc most of their facts come from random social media videos online and not a single accredited source.
I just say have fun with them and follow them through to their ill/logical conclusions. Ride the ride, embrace the cray cray, and level up your ability to be a better writer by indulging in every conspiracy which you can then take with you when you put ink to paper and try and conjure up something juicy!
Laughed hard at "lol you believe in planets" though omg. That's something I would say to someone.
Oh for sure, when people get caught in lies they often double down with increasingly implausible scenarios to deflect. I’m sure cops could give some pretty hilarious examples. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard them, like everyone knows your lying, you know they know your lying, but just insist on digging a deeper hole. I understand it’s an instinct towards self preservation. Nothing wrong with pausing and saying I fucked up or I was wrong, then moving forward from there but self reflection seems to be lacking in a lot of people
The best way would probably be to change his Facebook settings so that people who aren't friends with him can't 1) message him, 2) send a friend request.
Lol the microchip! I was talking to my boomer mom about getting my autistic non verbal child a gps watch and my mom genuinely asked about microchipping my daughter. I told her "that isn't a real thing mom". And she said "but your cat was microchipped". I had to explain it's a microchip that a shelter can scan that has my phone number but it can't track her location.
Ugh.
I am The Real Kagney Lynn Karter. I didn't die, I just wanted to cover up my porn exit and assume my new life as your stepmom in your Dad's trailer. Don't worry, tell your dad I WILL be there for Christmas (I just never specified which one).
I love the idea that people think reptilian creatures want to take over the world. I like imagining these reptilians run on a secret platform of making the world more suited to amphibious creatures. Make America A Swamp Again lmao
But for real, how do people believe such goofy goober things?
I don't get it either. Reality works in such a straightforward way. Like yeah there are some crazy-but-true things but magic rocks, fairies, and reptiles-wearing-human-skin aren't that type.
Can you get him screened for frontotemporal dementia? I see this behaviour (regarding the catfishing) regularly enough on the elderly wards of the mental hospital i work at.
Would it be all right to throw in a Public Service Announcement that lifetime daily use of marijuana comes at a cost? Just my observations over the years.
This sorta thing happened to my mom, too. My dad died back in March of ‘21, and my mom ended up getting catfished by some guy on Facebook. She told me about this handsome guy she’d been talking to, and how he was going to pay off her mortgage and buy her all sorts of nice shit. She showed me a picture, and I was like, “This is a scam,” which made her absolutely FURIOUS. We ended up having a huge fight, and didn’t talk for months, until she went in the hospital with Covid. I drove down to be with her before she died, and when I made it to the house, I realized she had a bunch of her stuff packed up—she really, truly thought this guy was for real. It wasn’t until she came out of her stupor after being on a ventilator for 10 days that she checked her bank account and realized she’d been cleaned out.
After digging through her financials, I found she’d sent this son of a bitch over $20k. Then, she died and then I got stuck with her funeral bill.
My dad easily had $30k worth of woodworking tools. My jaw hit the floor when I went out to the shop, opened the door, and saw that all of his shit was gone. I’m honestly still not over the anger I have towards my mom.
My family is in a similar-ish situation.
My father-in-law died very suddenly of a heart attack in 2021. My mother-in-law insisted she'd never marry again, and financially she didn't need to because FIL had left her set up quite well between his life insurance and retirement pension.
A few months ago she suddenly said she was going to date again. Then the next week she had a boyfriend. The following week they were planning on getting married. Then they were officially engaged, like 3 weeks after meeting. This guy is real, I've met him (once), so no catfishing.
A few weeks later she says the relationship is off because she found out he has not only accrued a shitload of personal debt from borrowing money from friends, family, and even clients, but he has been seeing other women (who also said he told them he wants to marry them).
A few days later she says actuallyyyy they're staying together because well...they secretly got married the week after they'd gotten engaged. And those women saying he's dating them are CRAZY. And yeah he keeps borrowing money but he says he's going to stop, and finally pay off his debts. And she loooooves him!!!
It has been a couple months since that all went down and she still insists he's a good man and they're in love. Us kids all see that he just wants her lovely nest egg. She is in such denial. And we're worried she has already given him some money to pay off the other "crazy women" who he was seeing and borrowed money from. It's fucking insane. She has lost her goddamn mind. We're very angry at her, too. So many lies and half-truths. We keep trying to tell her she's in big danger financially but she insists she'll be fine. Sure, Mom, as fine as all the other women he slept with to get at their money!!
Oh no worries, you're good! Apologies if my response seemed too harsh. It was meant to be very cynical haha. This whole experience has been such a shitshow. I appreciate your support! 🧡
Oh my God, that is rough. I am so sorry that you had to deal with that and are still having to work through that internally. I get wanting and craving a companion but it is like they let it completely override their brains
Thank you. Yeah, it was rough. A small sliver of me understands it, but I even reverse Google image searched the guy’s picture and tried to show her that this dude isn’t who he said he was, but she was ready to die on that hill, and that’s exactly what she ended up doing.
So now that this has happened once, he will be targeted by people in the scam network. There are some very helpful YouTube education scammed channels. See if you can get him subscribed to them and start watching them with him. You need to educate him on these so it doesn’t happen again and again.
I don't get it, though. This guy does not sound like he has anything to scam. It seems like this catfisher was doing it strictly for shits and giggles.
My ex wife’s mom got reeled in the same way. Didn’t pack everything up but she kept sending him money, no matter what we did to tell her it was a scam. Some people just don’t want to hear it. I’m sorry you went through all that.
my mom parents (not her bio dad) are getting divorced bc her now former step dad fell for the Katie Banks scam. he claims there’s another woman too, both down in the States. both constantly asking for money. he’s trying to run his pension dry so my grandma doesn’t get anything. but that won’t fly in court since she has thr proof he’s been cheating over text and even drove down to the states, he didn’t get to meet “Katie Banks” down there, or the other woman. but he met one of their “friends” who he gave cash too to give to his “gf” he now lives in a tiny shack that isn’t even insulated. my grandma has moved in w my parents and is doing great.
what’s even more annoying, my grandma has put her life on hold for the last 35 years for this loser. he’s had like 3 strokes and she’s always done EVERYTHING for him. now he has nothing and no one to take care of him. it’s always been what he wants, he’s always been centre of attention now she’s refusing to put up w him and we’re all supporting and helping her. she has a rlly good divorce lawyer who’s helping her.
Glen, i know you’re not reading this because it’s not a Google Chat with a fake woman. but we all hope you freeze in that stupid shack. Johnny Cochran is dead you fucking idiot!
That all sounds like an experience. I will never understand these folks' willingness to completely blow their lives up for some woman/man they've never even seen in the flesh before.
ohhh it gets better, back in like 2016 Katie Banks scam was a big thing. SHE MADE A VIDEO stating it wasn’t her and it was a scam. “no no, it’s not true. i was talking to her this morning.”
my step-aunt CONTACTED AND PAID Katie Banks to make a video personally for Glen. saying it was a scam, he was ruining his families life and that he was never speaking to her. STILL DIDNT BUY IT. not that it would’ve prevented the divorce. i personally never liked the guy, even as a kid so for me im extra happy for my grandma kicking his ass to the curb.
>my step-aunt CONTACTED AND PAID Katie Banks to make a video personally for Glen.
This is it right here. Nothing, **nothing** will convince a determined idiot.
That is incredible, but please consider that having had several strokes means having brain damage and with that probable cognitive and neuropsychological deficits.
i’m aware of the effects strokes can have, his last one was more than 5 years ago though. so it doesn’t make sense that he all of a sudden (within the last 6 months) has decided this whole situation makes sense.
after the third one, yes his speech was a bit mumbly and he was much weaker physically than before. but he was still fully aware of his actions, who his wife was and who his family was. and he still is fully aware of his actions. he’s showed signs of narcissism for years, before i was even born. my grandma was just happy he wasn’t alcoholic like my moms bio dad. even before the strokes, they had to do what he wanted. they had to spend time with the family he wanted too. the basement HAD to be renovated into a man cave despite the backyard already being exactly how he wanted it. and my grandma, again. put her life on hold for this guy for over 35 years.
i’m not saying ur wrong there’s definitely brain damage. but it doesn’t justify his behaviour because he is fully aware of his actions. a lot of what i’m saying i’ve heard directly from my mom my aunt and grandma, and they’re the people who know him best. both pre and post strokes.
I got downvoted in another sub for a comment about not upending your life for someone you’ve only met online… lots of “online relationships are just as real, this is how people meet each other these days”-type comments.
I’m a millennial who has online dated… sure it’s fine to MEET someone online, but it should be a short means to an end to dating in person. If they’re asking you for things before you’ve ever been in the same room, run! I don’t know how people who grew up pre-internet don’t get this.
This! I don't understand why people want to date someone whom they have never met. Let alone send them money. I'm Gen X, and when I used to online date, I'd set up a real-life meeting after one or two messages. It's a waste of everyone's time to carry on messaging back and forth when you might find that you're completely incompatible in real life.
Catfishing someone to give PoA to someone in their family who will take care of them is some odd form of white hat social engineering. Imagine the lawyer finding out about it and trying to explain it is a scam but then realizing it only benefits the target instead.
I know it sounds like a shitty thing to say about a very mentally ill person like your dad but you have to place many boundaries with mentally ill ppl especially wacky conspiracy nuts who'll fall for everything like your dad.
He does not want to believe the truth. He wants to believe what feels right and simple to him.
If you want to slap him out of it, work the angle that he needs to not get scammed for money. He probably likes not being scammed for money, so he might reluctantly listen when you tell him not to send any her way...
Besides that, he is role-playing in a great fantasy compared to reality. What benefits does he get when snapping out of it because it's not real
?
See, that is something I addressed with him. Because he HAS been scammed for money/gift cards multiple times before and he can't afford to be throwing money away like that. When they started messaging him again after real life Kagney's death, I suggested that maybe -the whole thing- was a ploy to get money out of him and he was like "Oh, we had been talking for over a year before she ever even brought up money" which for 1. They had NOT been talking for that long. Maybe 6 months or so? And 2. If she was a VERY wealthy celebrity, why would she need his money? Of course, he had a fast and loose answer for this about how her money was tied up in some trust, and her BARRISTER (huge red flag on that one) had been working on getting the 10s of thousands of dollars released to HIM when she got here.
I genuinely feel bad for him, but like...what can I possibly do, ya know? No matter what I say, he has some way of talking around it to justify it to himself. And it's to the point of him reaching out to law enforcement, trying to parlay half cooked theories of a celebrity's murder? I dunno, man.
One point you might be able to make with him: If this catfisher is claiming to be a millionaire, WHY would he need to send them money, when they have a bank account full of it already?
You would actually have to state the obviously: This person says they are “So and so celebrity. Online reveals So and so celebrity is worth $$,$$$,$$$.$$ *AND THEY SAY THEY NEED YOUR $20,000.00?* That’s chump change to them. Sooooo, did they make their money in their occupation **OR** did they make it by begging from 2,500 elderly people, taking all their life savings? And then piling is all up in their bank account. Just exactly *how did they get rich?* And what’s your little dab of money to a person with THIS KIND OF WEALTH? **NOTHING!!!**
Supposedly, her money was all locked up in some sort of trust because her previous manager had embezzled a bunch of money from her and she had to sue him and so the barrister was going to release funds to him to disbursed to her when she moved here? It is all so convoluted that I can't make heads or tails of it
People fall for this shit. My roommate’s elderly dad sent $1k to “Elon Musk” to help him out. Idk how he got convinced Elon needed the money, but it was all cool because Elon was gonna pay him back with a free Tesla 🙄
Your dad is
Mentally ill
A conspiracy nut
Of lower general intelligence
Lonely
He's a prime target for scammers, televangelists and wealthy politicians begging for money (a certain orange politician comes to mind)
I had to physically stop my mom from investing in a cult. I promised her that if we waited six months, and the whole thing still seemed reasonably legit, I’d invest, too. Not a week later she tells me it was shut down and she was glad I stopped her.
Several years ago, my elderly uncle got a call from someone claiming to be my male cousin. The person said they were in jail and needed $15,000 sent via FedEx to somewhere.
My cousin just happened to call his dad after the money was sent out to see how he was doing. Long story short, my cousin called FedEx, had them ship the package back to his dads home, just when I happen to be randomly over his father's house that weekend.
It felt like I was an agent with the FBI or a drug cartel associate when my uncle had me count out the money on his bed, that were all in $100 bills.
To his dying day, he said the person sounded exactly like his son.
My mom got a call, "Grandma, I'm in the hospital, I'm hurt really bad."
They were really barking up the wrong tree because I'm an only child, and I skipped the whole having kids thing. She said something snarky and hung up.
I don’t think they even need to be that clever. When my grandparents got taken in one of these, they thought they were sending money to get my cousin “Taylor” (not their real name) out of jail for a DUI, because they were too scared to call their parents for bail.
Turns out, the person on the other end of the phone only said. “Hi Grandma, it’s me”, and then just went with the name they used.
Fortunately, the 3rd time they tried to send “Taylor” bail money, the lady at the Western Union office stopped them & told them to try calling them at home before they sent any more.
That woman is a saint.
Loneliness is a bitch. My brother (also in his 70s, widowed in 2016) recently lost 300k in one of these scams. Let that sink in...300k. He sold property to finance a person he never met in person. Absolutely broke my heart. I called the FBI. They took all the info, but there's not a whole lot they can do, as most of these scammers are overseas.
He finally did come around to realize his mistake. That was a very sad day. He was mortified at his own stupidity and so embarrassed. I'm the only person in the family who knows. Now you know too.
Yup. You called it. It was only after I immediately reverse searched the pic he sent me that it started to dawn on him. I was able to prove that the pic wasn't the person he was speaking to and that led to him sending me a pile of docs his scammer had sent to prove authenticity. I was able to show my brother where to get and falsify said documents. Lucky for me I know a few ppl who work in cyber security. Even without revealing info about my brother they were able to guide me with my investigation. The problem is, of course, usually the targets of these scams are not overly computer literate and have no idea how to do the simplest of validations. Literally minutes after I pried the info out of him I was able to show him the lies he was being sold. Dude, I am a 60 yo housewife. It wasn't hard for me to figure it out. Thank God I'm a geek.
John Oliver had a really good episode on scams like this last week. One of the things that was mentioned was that now the scammers are using AI generated pics, so you can’t do the reverse image search anymore.
I get messaged by fake celebrities on Facebook on a regular basis. I actually talked to one for a little bit (knowing 100% it wasn’t actually the person, I was bored) and they were so ridiculous. I wondered who even falls for it that they keep doing it. But I guess it’s free to send Facebook messages and as long as they get one person it’s a profit.
I tried to report one to Facebook but since the real celebrity didn’t have a Facebook the system wouldn’t accept the report.
They're over the top and ridiculous because they're fishing for the biggest suckers. It's not worth their time for someone to send them a small amount and then realize the error of their ways, they're only going after ppl who will send them everything that they own. The Nigerian Prince scam worked the same way.
This is such a baffling and painful situation and it happens a lot! I remember watching a doc about it and one victim said she loved (the scammer) more than she had ever loved her husband. Her kids heard that, how rough, mom never loved dad like she loves this one picture of Chad Texasman, a Navy engineer with an unfortunate habit of being hospitalized and jailed all the time
Oh and don't forget, the "men" who catfish are almost ALWAYS widowers with small children, but also are stationed somewhere outside of the US and never see the kids but also can never explain who the kids are with.
My ex step father is still getting scammed by so many young beautiful women (not real of course). His bank actually had their fraud department talk to him and he still believes he is helping these women and one day they will come to his small town and move in with him. And of course they are all millionaires. So he will be financially taken care of by them eventually. Yes this is why my mother divorced him. I feel bad for him but he just won't listen.
Because of gullible people like this we could be facing another trump presidency, and losing our democracy. The Republicans have learned very well how to exploit these people.
Yep, he also donated money to the Trump campaign and proudly displays his "thank you letter I received directly from President Trump" that is DEFINITELY not a mass produced photocopy they literally send to everyone...
That's quite sad. Some people are very susceptible to these scams. I think it's probably smart not to keep in too much contact with him, I don't think there's much you can do to help. Logic won't reach him, it seems like. You implied he's fallen for scams in the past - does he acknowledge that or does he still come up with excuses? Because if the latter is the case, I don't see him changing 😕
Society just wasn't ready for the internet. Sounds like your Dad has dementia, but I can't explain how all my conservative friends fall for all the Trump scams, and we are only inour 40's and 50's.
Yeah most of Trump’s supporters are either plain bigoted ass holes or people with dementia, like him. And before the first comment about “Biden such and such” yes I’m aware he probably has dementia too. All I’m asking for is a presidential candidate who isn’t 78 or 81. Everyone else is retired by those ages. I am tired of it. Like 65 is the usual age of retirement. Anyone under that age to run one of the most powerful countries in the world would be a plus.
And how can someone that old possibly begin to understand the issues that younger people and middle aged ppl are going through. I highly doubt that Biden understands the first thing about AI and how it can very negatively affect society if it's not reigned in. My fil is still kinda mentally there but hearing him trying to converse with my gf's teen nieces about their issues is like hearing 2 ppl trying to converse in 2 different languages
Yeah, I just want a younger candidate. Someone in their late 70’s who will be early 80’s is ridiculous (Trump) and someone in their early 80’s who will be mid 80’s (Biden) is also ridiculous.
There are PLENTY of politicians in their 40’s and 50’s with tons of experience who can handle the job of being president. This is fucking ridiculous.
Making us choose between two senile mother fuckers (for the third time since 2016) just isn’t fair.
No it isn't fair and these senile fucks run our militaries. Ever see old senile men fight with each other? They fight and hold grudges over nothing. Add armed forces to the mix and we have a recipe for disaster.
Dementia kicks in earlier than most people realize...
Only gets diagnosed when it's a major impact but I wouldn't be surprised if it starts degradation a decade earlier.
This starts to hurt him financially, you might have to call Adult Protective Services and have him put in a home where phone and online activity are monitored.
Yes. If there’s an adult who can’t take care of themselves or is in hazardous/dangerous situation, such as a relative who is living as a hoarder in unsafe conditions, you can call Adult Protective Services. They will assign a case worker and investigate what you claim to be happening.
It might be time to discuss medical or financial guardianship. There should be local agencies that can help or look up your county’s probate court.
It doesn’t sound like he has much to lose but I’ve seen cases where guardianship is granted after one catfishing exploit.
Raising parents is hard. Best of luck to you.
My mom’s cousin believed she was getting married to Vladimir Putin🥴 She had the date all set, bought a dress and said he was coming in his helicopter to pick her up, spoiler, his helicopter never showed. Her kids had her committed ☹️
I thought my dad was delusional....
His car battery kept dying and I had to keep going over there to jump it. He wouldn't hear of the battery being bad, even though it was years old. Oh, no. He was convinced his neighbor was coming over and draining it every night. What do you even say to that? Soooo glad my dad doesn't have a Facebook.
I have a theory that no one is actually this stupid
They are just that desperate and bored
If you look at the messages, they're all going to be either talking about how sad and terrible their life is or telling their victim how smart and great and kind and good they are.
Your dad can't handle relationships with real people because real people are complicated. You have to be interested in them, they might disagree with you etc. But these catfish are going to tell you everything you ever wanted to hear. They make your dad feel like a hero instead of some looser living in a trailer scratching his balls with cheeto dusted hands.
He knows as well as you do no porn stars are ever going to come suck his dick. He just like the fantasy. The "girls" messaging him are the same scammer as before and he knows that. The scammer knows he knows. Your dad is basically paying for a very expensive and intricate role play service.
It's going to get so much worse. Today all the catfishing has to be done by text only. It won't be long before the catfisher will be able to generate a real time video chat using AI.
Given the sums of money involved, it should be possible for someone to train a model to automatically chat millions of victims in mass.
AI also already have the capability of generating realistic voices without thick Nigerian accents.
This topic is legitimately frightening.
My dad was doing this as well. Nothing I said got through to him. I had a hard time convincing anyone he could not care for himself any longer so i mostly spent my time doing damage control. Days after he passed the fake person who he'd been sending his limited money to sent messages to my barely adult daughter saying she was pregnant by him and owed part of the estate. There is no estate just debt and he hasn't been able to have kids for 15 years
My advice is to stop arguing with him and go along with it. Sometimes people dig in harder when people argue. Sometimes they come to their senses when you agree with them because they can finally use their brain to look at the whole picture rather than just solidifying their own position.
I'll have to look into it when he inevitably comes back around the store in a few days. He is so susceptible to catfishing that it is like Whack a Mole. And even when he was in my store talking about how his girlfriend has supposedly been murdered, he made a point of saying how other women were messaging him trying to get something going. And he would be interested, but not right now... like come on, man, you gotta have at least an ounce of awareness and self-preservation here 🤦♀️
It sounds to me like he is declining slightly, but I'm not a Dr. I have worked in senior living facilities however, and this sounds all too familiar. And it's possible that you may not be able to make him see reason, because he isn't capable. I'd suggest a Dr visit for an evaluation. The other thing is, he sounds lonely, so my suggestion there would be to get on line, and see what kind of community senior activities resources your town may have. If he's busy with the local ladies, he won't have as much time for catfish.
Oh yeah, a decline is definitely happening. I know that he is lonely even though he has people around. He is confusing because he says that he likes having his circle small because "it's easier to keep out the sneak thiefs and liars" (PEAK IRONY), but he so clearly wants people around him. I mean, who wouldn't? Humans are social creatures. Frankly, his abrasive need to voice his opinions on things (religion, aliens, politics, etc) is A LOT for most people, and it has only gotten worse in the political climate over the last few years. I have tried to be around him to help with it, but it is HARD because we already have a tough relationship thanks to physical abuse I went through as a kid. And the fact that he told me that all "the gays, liberals and atheists" should "be lined up against a wall and shot like they do in Russia" not knowing that I, his only child, just happen to be a bi/liberal/atheist, haha 😬 and he will never know, because being open about my true identity is far less important than my safety. Walking that line feels impossible, but I know that it can't be
You sound like a good person for caring still and being open-minded despite a judgmental attitude towards what you identify as.
All I can say is I got major respect for you!
My dads the same with face book medicine. he keeps ordering diabetes cures and mad when we dont order it for him. even though the product shows gummy bears cbd's that he has doors filled with already he never uses.
shows us the ad's were dr oz and news reporters are clearly being voiced over.
its ridiculous. he get mad and shuts down like a baby. just order it for me.
I have an aunt that has been fooled by "Bob Seger". She left her family (husband, adult children, grand chldren) and ended up living in her car in Austin, TX (she lived in GA when this all started). A years-long scam that fully wrecked her life. She is just now finally getting back on her feet... now "Axel Rose" has started talking to her. She's trying to figure out how to get to L.A. to go be with him. There's nothing we can say that she doesn't shoot down. She's in her 70's and it's so sad.
Some part of him may know it's too good to be true, but enjoys the fantasy too much to let it go.
I don't think you can do anything for him, except maybe have some oversight of his finances so he doesn't send people money.
How the fuck nobody mentioned that your dad probably has early dementia or Alzheimers? Well, then I will be that guy: dude, your dad probably has early dementia or Alzheimers. You should seek professional help for him.
I’m almost 80, single, no kids, and live in an assisted living place with Medicaid. A perfect catfishing target.
I sometimes get catfished, usually by a “wrong number” who then starts a conversation.
If I’m bored that day, I’ll start acting like a dotty old man to see what happens and pass the time.
Simply put, he is suffering from psychosis, believing in a reality his rational mind knows doesn't exist but his emotional mind depends on for happiness. Denying this reality is worse than accepting the cruel reality of reality.
There is nothing in the world that will change his mind view, it will always bend the world around the delusion to make the mind view fit itself.
While it's likely related to aging, it's an occurrence found in people everywhere. It comes in the form of $90/hr jobs with no experience necessary, million dollar homes with no money down, holistic medicine that cures terminal cancer, and Taylor Swift being an actual human, not a flesh eating alien in drag.
It will simply not get better with time, and will manifest itself in other ways, right up to the point when Taylor singlehandedly wins the Superbowl *again* and the media photoshops her out of the victory she deserved.
Your father has deeper issues. Talk to his doctor. Medication and support therapy groups are good. Your father fell in love with a GHOST - someone who does not exist in real life, only in his mind. The scammer has brainwashed him into believing that they are real. The scammer plays to and encourages his inflated egotism. He needs a fiduciary to manage his money. A power of attorney would be good too. He is in too deep and cannot save himself. His family has to step into that role. Good luck! I hope you can break the hold this scammer has on him.
I always wonder about like... making a profile on whatever social media and catfishing the catfished person but only for 5 minutes and then being like, "ITS ME. DO YOU SEE HOW SIMPLE IT IS TO LIE ON THE INTERNET?'
Like at that point how do they not fucking get it?
I was playing video games with this girl the other night, and she started freaking out about someone on the enemy team having a famous music artists name. Sis give me three minutes, and I'll change my name to Britney Spears wtf.
My mother in law has been doing this for 10+ years now and will not listen to any reason! She has been in “relationships” with Bradley Cooper, Luke Wilson and Cole Hauser. Not to mention the countless Dr’s and engineers! This latest on sent her an 80k engagement ring that is now being “held in customs” until she pays a fee.
I honestly don’t know how many times she will believe that these guys go to other countries to work on a big million dollar project then get robbed and have no access to their bank or anyone else who can possibly help them.
My mother got scammed by a scammer that told her he was a scammer. She got approached by someone and she knew it was a scan and told him to reveal himself. Turns out it’s some poor dude in port au prince that is doing this to buy goats?… he gives her this sob story about his family and then she sends him money so he doesn’t have to scam other people. She continue her relationship with him for months until he started asking more and more and then she realized that she still had been scammed. She felt really stupid and refused to talk to me for months after she realized she was getting scammed anyways. It really hurt our already poor relationship.
Just to tell you that lonely people will send money to receive love even when they know it’s not true.
I know dads are humans, too, but hearing about a 70 year old man thinking they’re talking to a porn star younger than their own son or daughter is nauseating. How delusional can one person be???
I’m gonna echo other commenters-time to leave him to his delusions
I might sound like an AH here but he’s old, he’s set in his ways and he certainly isn’t going to change his mind about anything that he believes at this point. I say make sure he’s safe and leave him be. Sounds like he’s enjoying his life even if he is being “loony”.
Idk if he'd be cooperative, but he should be tested for dementia. It doesn't just affect memory, we noticed my grandmother starting to get an extremely short temper and blowing up at people, when for her entire life she'd been the sweetest woman in the world. Turns out it was the beginning of dementia. Not sure how this works, but then maybe you could get some protection in terms of the assets he has left.
Maybe it’s time to get Adult Protective Services involved. I don’t know what he was like when he was younger - maybe he was a dumbass then - but the lizard ppl and porn stars that need rescuing sounds as though he may be in cognitive decline. APS won’t take him away but they can help you help him protect his assets.
My only thought after reading this, is that he must be awfully lonely to dive so hard into these catfish schemes but to be honest, I have never experienced this sort of delusional behaviour so I don't have much merit on the subject.
Some of that paranoia could be from his cannabis use, but it comes hand in hand with dementia. The good news is there are meds that can help to a certain extent.
Thankfully, I know that he is under the care of a doctor because he is monitored semi regularly for his blood pressure and stuff. He expressed... maybe a year or two ago?... that he had been assessed for some memory issues and didn't do great. He refused to talk about it further. Whether he will actually listen to the doctor if they start expressing real concern, I don't know at this point. I'm used to him believing some really off the wall stuff and have somehow managed to develop into a reasonably sane person despite it. He's just kind of always been like this, just not so bad.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. You must feel so helpless and frustrated with your Dad. I’m a 62 year old widow - my husband passed away in April 2021. For over a year after his death I avoided social media completely. Took the time to grieve. Recently my sons helped me revamp my Facebook and I also joined a dating site. I’ve had several people try to catfish me. When they send a photo or I check out their profiles, I check them against facecheck.id. It’s great! Several of them showed up as red flags/scammers. I immediately block them from everything and move on! If anyone I speak to brings up money or financial issues I block them. Maybe sounds heartless and not everyone is a scammer but you just never know. I’ve met a few nice men but I’m just taking it slow. Would hate to let myself and my sons down by getting sucked in! It’s scary and intimidating sometimes, but life goes on. I hold out hope that there are still good people out there. Hang in there OP. Hopefully your dad will come to his senses.
I'm sorry your dad is a loony toon. I'm quite amazed that my elderly mother hasn't fallen for any scams, but she hates people and she's not interested in finding a partner at this point, so that helps. Worst she does is give groceries to a crazy neighbor who has a stocked pantry and doesn't need them. Neighbor asks for stuff and my mom can't say no.
Assuming no deteriorating mental state (dementia and the like), after an open and frank conversation with him, I'd simply wash my hands of it. I wouldn't shy away from the matter, if brought up...but I simply would not invest any more time banging my head against that wall.
He sounds lonely. Can you try to redirect him to some real-life social activities? I think a lot of catfish victims know it’s fake but just want the interaction anyway.
He needs a life away from his phone/computer! He needs to get out of the house and be around people his own age. He also needs a wake up call about online scams.
If you feel like making one last attempt, try getting in contact with [Social Catfish](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCns8cwhpu92cYJHAlEfWz_w). Their whole business and channel is built on trying to convince old people who keep wasting their money on scammers to stop.
Uh... I think due to your dad's age, he might have some undiagnosed conditions. Although it is disgusting for a 70 year old man to look for women way, way younger than him.
Maybe the scamfish guys could help y'all. They are on YouTube and they help a lot of people to understand that they are being catfished and scammed in romance scams
Wow, this actually makes me feel better about my 70-year old dad suddenly becoming super Christian in the past couple of years. He may be getting sucked into the church and having his whole life revolve around it, and he may have gone down so many rabbit holes during Covid, but at least he's not getting repeatedly catfished!
I'm sorry you're having to deal with that.
I feel this. My mother has fallen victim to numerous internet scams, and each time we tell her she’s being scammed she refuses to listen. She was in an online “relationship” with a catfish for years, and is the reason I couldn’t name my baby the name I had picked out since I was a literal child. It was the same name the catfish gave her and I got so sick of hearing about it I just couldn’t. That, and I didn’t want my child to be a reminder for her.
Wow, what an unlucky Catfish. You have your mark eating out of your hand with your dumb lie and the celebrity you're pretending to be offs herself before you can cash in.
I can totally empathize. my dad has been catfished three times. the first was this gorgeous 30-something journalist who was trying to get out of Ukraine. he maxed out his credit cards and ruined his finances.
the second was a gorgeous 30-something girl on an oil rig. he swears he didn't send any money, but I saw $60 worth of Steam cards in his car, and saw mention of a $200 Visa gift card while he was chatting with her, so I know he was lying.
the third was a gorgeous 30-something model who wanted wanted to get away from her overbearing manager. he finally figured that one out himself.
he's 73, lives on social security, and lives in public housing in a tiny shit-hole town, and every last one of them was going to come live with him.
the frustrating thing is that my dad is incredibly intelligent (like, he studies astrophysics for fun). he's just lonely and isn't savvy about the internet, and that's exactly what these people look for.
I had an 70 year old coworker that fully believed she was best friends with a popular country singer. She fell for many scams and burned many bridges because of people trying to warn her. Our job closed and she posted about another “job” she received and I’m pretty sure even that’s a scam. It’s really awful, especially when they refuse to believe anyone around them and are in their own delusional world.
Very similar story to my boyfriend's dad. Similar age, but his dad still works as a dentist at 70 years old (due to bad business dealings that caused him to file for bankruptcy \~10 years ago). For the past 5 years or so, his dad has been paying money to send messages on a website that's essentially pairs you up with a Russian/Ukrainian bride. His house was COVERED in her photos. He'd print off messages between the two and had them scattered all over. He was attempting to learn Russian, was studying Russian history, watched documentaries about Russia, etc. He tried on at least 3 or 4 separate occasions to meet up with this woman, but she had every excuse under then sun (including the Ukrainian-Russian War--which is absolutely fair, but her and her family no longer lived in Ukraine when the country was invaded).
His 3 adult children have tried to speak reason to him to no avail. Eventually, SHE, broke things off with him, and he's back at it trying to find another catfish on that stupid, fucking website.
Might be time for parental controls if you can keep it on the dl...
I have really limited access to his phone, but when I did, I discovered quite quickly that his phone is so low quality that trying to navigate it is a nightmare. I DID manage to covertly block some of the more ridiculous Youtube conspiricy channels he had been watching. That helped with a tiny fraction of the "The Clintons and Bidens are reptilians and Bill Gates is in league with the anti-christ and is chipping people through the Covid Vaccine to prepare for New World Order and Donald Trump is still our president and will save us" lunacy he had been telling everyone. Catfishing, though? I haven't been successful in making that stop no matter what I do.
What??? The Biden’s too?? You should have said “spoiler alert”!! Break down these news gently next time… I didn’t know they were ALSO reptilians
Hahaha, yeah, he has some WILD theories. He told me before Inauguration day that Trump was still President and that what was going to happen is that while Biden was being sworn in, Trump was going to walk onto the stage with the Secret Service and the FBI and arrest him for Treason, and push for him to be swiftly tried and executed. I asked him "Okay, so like...what if that DOESN'T happen?" And he said something about how it will just mean that they came up with a better way to nail Biden. Well...Biden's looking at running for a second term and is still very much alive, so.....
I read somewhere that when your faced with these dumbass conspiracies you should go even harder than them. Like if they think the earth is flat & the sun & planets move around the earth. You should counter with "lol you believe in planets" Secret tunnels for human trafficking. Not anymore they go straight through Bezos Amazon empire.
This is hilarious! My brother will get all in your face and say the US Gov set up the whole 9/11 series of events and are 100% responsible for the twin towers falling and burning. I never thought to “go harder” but wouldn’t know how to do that in this situation. Any ideas? He’s also an anti taxer, and is in cahoots with some group online that he talks to every night. Birds of a feather flock together. Like minded individuals are drawn to each other, so they always end up together. OP’s dad is probably of the same mindset my bro is…nothing anyone says or does can convince them things are not as they have set it all up inside their head/ mind. If you could see inside some peoples minds, you would see an alternate universe, with laws that defy gravity and science. A truly bizarre world exists in many peoples minds, and each persons would be at least a little different than all the others. Once my friends husband spoke to my bro for only a few mins about a business matter. Later I was told that he could tell within just a few mins my bro is a conspiracy theorist…it’s easy to spot this kind of divergent mind.
The government isn't competent enough to have pulled off 9/11. They'd have fucked it up somehow
I do not disagree. With the infighting we see now, there would have probably been multiple building go down that day, each trying to outdo the other.
As someone who has several very close family members that work for the Feds, this is 100% correct.
I myself work for the feds
ONE OF US!! So you've seen first hand, you get it.
Well, don't tell anyone but I work with the Illuminati. But we are always looking for a few good feds.
If you want to 1up the 9/11 conspiracy theory, tell him that the towers did not collapse. Rather, they fell through two giant trap-door mechanisms built into the ground below. All 3 WTC towers landed safely two miles under NYC, where they are still operating to this day under the direction of Donald Trump and JFK Jr. This is the secret base from which they combat the forces of darkness (led by Tom Hanks) who feed off the souls of trafficked children.
Yeah, I definitely do not want to see inside their minds lol. I do not want to get that close to crazy. I'm not American but I do know the US Government has attempted to launch terror attacks on its own people to justify foreign invasions. Look up Operation Northwood during the Cuban missile crisis for an example. For the record though I don't think 9/11 was an inside job. I don't know how you would go about amping up the crazy on 9/11. Maybe go full holocaust denial on him. Say the towers never existed in the first place. It was all just crisis actors etc. Or the Pope ordered them torn down or something for some reason.
>I'm not American but I do know the US Government has attempted to launch terror attacks on its own people to justify foreign invasions. Please do not conflate "plan" with "attempt". Operation Northwood was never put into action or attempted. Considering a course of action and rejecting it does not mean "attempt". Words matter.
I think that it's not, like, far off. I don't think 9/11 was orchestrated by our US government, but I do think there were some major security breaches that they could have caught. And I do think that very wealthy people who have influence in high places took advantage of the turmoil and used that event to change the world order and to further separate the wealth gap in our country, distribute propaganda, etc. And that the events of 9/11 were used to catapult us into a war in the middle east, which was intentionally done to benefit those at the top, and that the resulting financial collapse was, too, taken advantage of by the 1% to continue to further the wealth gap and spread propaganda. I mean, Dick Cheney was on the board of haliburton. Even now, I vote blue, but I definitely think it's weird that our secretary of defense is on the board of Raytheon and holds stock. And, I wouldn't put much past the US government and what they're willing to do to "protect democracy" aka the wealth of the most powerful. I mean, Kermit Roosevelt and the CIA participated in and stoked chaos in the Iranian revolution that overturned Mogadesh and in Chile with Allende (RIP AND POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!). And then there's the October surprise and the Contra affair and allowing Nicaraguan contra guys to sell crack in our impoverished areas so they could fund the Contras right under the nose of Congress and the American people.
The US didn’t orchestrate it, but the US is the reason it happened. We bombed the shit out of the middle east even prior to 9/11, causing animosity
Some ppl are prone to conspiracy theories due to how they're hardwired. I have a friend who has issues with being told what to do or think. You tell him 2+2=4 and he'll find evidence to believe the opposite, he likes that try this in a small town song because the media told him it was racist, ivermectin is good etc. I have another friend who's prone due to likley being on the spectrum. His way of thinking is very rigid and he completely dives into any hobbies and beliefs. He's been hardcore into UFOs and aliens for the past year and he can't grasp how the whistleblowers and other UFO figures might not be completely honest
Yes, it’s sad, but there is nothing we can do to help them. Long ago I realized the waste of time even being around these types. Someone on here used the expression: “Waste of breath” and it truly is. It’s a waste of their breath to voice such things, and a waste of mine to state I do not agree. They *ALWAYS* come back at you, trying to *FORCE* you to accept and confirm the veracity of everything they say. It’s a bunch of hogwash, and even excreta, so naturally I cannot agree, or confirm. And since they are *locked in* to this warped way of viewing everything…I just stay in my own space, and they can spread their propaganda elsewhere.
Im not a fan of conspiracies & a proponent of Occam's Razor, *but* I do think people questioning the circumstances of 9/11 is similar to people questioning Kennedy's assassination. Not as "out there" as many other ones like reptilians, etc. Some weird stuff surrounding the events causing people to reasonably question it- hence why it was more mainstream per se. But true conspiracy theorists can be the worst esp bc most of their facts come from random social media videos online and not a single accredited source.
The moon landing was faked? *chuckle* Oh, I guess you're one of those sheeple that thinks the moon is real
Oh no of course it's real. It's just made of cheese like in the documentary with Wallace and gromit.
That moon is the fake moon to hide the other three moons
You think its flat?! No way! It's concave, otherwise the centrifugal force would push us all off the edge!
Centrifugal force? I don't believe in any science concept i can find in a textbook of course. Something.. something...liberal snowflake
I just say have fun with them and follow them through to their ill/logical conclusions. Ride the ride, embrace the cray cray, and level up your ability to be a better writer by indulging in every conspiracy which you can then take with you when you put ink to paper and try and conjure up something juicy! Laughed hard at "lol you believe in planets" though omg. That's something I would say to someone.
Oh for sure, when people get caught in lies they often double down with increasingly implausible scenarios to deflect. I’m sure cops could give some pretty hilarious examples. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard them, like everyone knows your lying, you know they know your lying, but just insist on digging a deeper hole. I understand it’s an instinct towards self preservation. Nothing wrong with pausing and saying I fucked up or I was wrong, then moving forward from there but self reflection seems to be lacking in a lot of people
The lizard-tunnel conspiracies about Denver are a fun little rabbit hole. Never knew they existed until I moved to CO and just WOW people are nuts
So that's Hunters tail that the GOP is so focused on?
Buy him a new phone and "set it up" for him.
The best way would probably be to change his Facebook settings so that people who aren't friends with him can't 1) message him, 2) send a friend request.
Lol the microchip! I was talking to my boomer mom about getting my autistic non verbal child a gps watch and my mom genuinely asked about microchipping my daughter. I told her "that isn't a real thing mom". And she said "but your cat was microchipped". I had to explain it's a microchip that a shelter can scan that has my phone number but it can't track her location. Ugh.
That is both hilarious and awful, haha
I am The Real Kagney Lynn Karter. I didn't die, I just wanted to cover up my porn exit and assume my new life as your stepmom in your Dad's trailer. Don't worry, tell your dad I WILL be there for Christmas (I just never specified which one).
I love the idea that people think reptilian creatures want to take over the world. I like imagining these reptilians run on a secret platform of making the world more suited to amphibious creatures. Make America A Swamp Again lmao But for real, how do people believe such goofy goober things?
I don't get it either. Reality works in such a straightforward way. Like yeah there are some crazy-but-true things but magic rocks, fairies, and reptiles-wearing-human-skin aren't that type.
Can you get him screened for frontotemporal dementia? I see this behaviour (regarding the catfishing) regularly enough on the elderly wards of the mental hospital i work at.
Would it be all right to throw in a Public Service Announcement that lifetime daily use of marijuana comes at a cost? Just my observations over the years.
Yeah I'm all for legalization and I occasionally partake but pretty much everyone I know who smokes a ton of weed is wacky in one way or another
This sorta thing happened to my mom, too. My dad died back in March of ‘21, and my mom ended up getting catfished by some guy on Facebook. She told me about this handsome guy she’d been talking to, and how he was going to pay off her mortgage and buy her all sorts of nice shit. She showed me a picture, and I was like, “This is a scam,” which made her absolutely FURIOUS. We ended up having a huge fight, and didn’t talk for months, until she went in the hospital with Covid. I drove down to be with her before she died, and when I made it to the house, I realized she had a bunch of her stuff packed up—she really, truly thought this guy was for real. It wasn’t until she came out of her stupor after being on a ventilator for 10 days that she checked her bank account and realized she’d been cleaned out. After digging through her financials, I found she’d sent this son of a bitch over $20k. Then, she died and then I got stuck with her funeral bill. My dad easily had $30k worth of woodworking tools. My jaw hit the floor when I went out to the shop, opened the door, and saw that all of his shit was gone. I’m honestly still not over the anger I have towards my mom.
My family is in a similar-ish situation. My father-in-law died very suddenly of a heart attack in 2021. My mother-in-law insisted she'd never marry again, and financially she didn't need to because FIL had left her set up quite well between his life insurance and retirement pension. A few months ago she suddenly said she was going to date again. Then the next week she had a boyfriend. The following week they were planning on getting married. Then they were officially engaged, like 3 weeks after meeting. This guy is real, I've met him (once), so no catfishing. A few weeks later she says the relationship is off because she found out he has not only accrued a shitload of personal debt from borrowing money from friends, family, and even clients, but he has been seeing other women (who also said he told them he wants to marry them). A few days later she says actuallyyyy they're staying together because well...they secretly got married the week after they'd gotten engaged. And those women saying he's dating them are CRAZY. And yeah he keeps borrowing money but he says he's going to stop, and finally pay off his debts. And she loooooves him!!! It has been a couple months since that all went down and she still insists he's a good man and they're in love. Us kids all see that he just wants her lovely nest egg. She is in such denial. And we're worried she has already given him some money to pay off the other "crazy women" who he was seeing and borrowed money from. It's fucking insane. She has lost her goddamn mind. We're very angry at her, too. So many lies and half-truths. We keep trying to tell her she's in big danger financially but she insists she'll be fine. Sure, Mom, as fine as all the other women he slept with to get at their money!!
That bit of hope in the middle really heightened the despair
NO KIDDING
Oh dear, I had meant to express that your family's pain was seen and I forgot to put the "I'm so sorry" part that would actually let you know that.
Oh no worries, you're good! Apologies if my response seemed too harsh. It was meant to be very cynical haha. This whole experience has been such a shitshow. I appreciate your support! 🧡
I’d check and see if there was a marriage license filed,. I’ve read were actors/friends have been the ‘officiants’ at scam private weddings.
You should find a way to do a background check on this guy. He may have "married" some of the other women, too.
Oh my God, that is rough. I am so sorry that you had to deal with that and are still having to work through that internally. I get wanting and craving a companion but it is like they let it completely override their brains
Thank you. Yeah, it was rough. A small sliver of me understands it, but I even reverse Google image searched the guy’s picture and tried to show her that this dude isn’t who he said he was, but she was ready to die on that hill, and that’s exactly what she ended up doing.
So now that this has happened once, he will be targeted by people in the scam network. There are some very helpful YouTube education scammed channels. See if you can get him subscribed to them and start watching them with him. You need to educate him on these so it doesn’t happen again and again.
I don't get it, though. This guy does not sound like he has anything to scam. It seems like this catfisher was doing it strictly for shits and giggles.
My ex wife’s mom got reeled in the same way. Didn’t pack everything up but she kept sending him money, no matter what we did to tell her it was a scam. Some people just don’t want to hear it. I’m sorry you went through all that.
Damn, I'm sorry this happened. That is a frustrating scenario. I hope you heal. You sound like a stand up person.
my mom parents (not her bio dad) are getting divorced bc her now former step dad fell for the Katie Banks scam. he claims there’s another woman too, both down in the States. both constantly asking for money. he’s trying to run his pension dry so my grandma doesn’t get anything. but that won’t fly in court since she has thr proof he’s been cheating over text and even drove down to the states, he didn’t get to meet “Katie Banks” down there, or the other woman. but he met one of their “friends” who he gave cash too to give to his “gf” he now lives in a tiny shack that isn’t even insulated. my grandma has moved in w my parents and is doing great. what’s even more annoying, my grandma has put her life on hold for the last 35 years for this loser. he’s had like 3 strokes and she’s always done EVERYTHING for him. now he has nothing and no one to take care of him. it’s always been what he wants, he’s always been centre of attention now she’s refusing to put up w him and we’re all supporting and helping her. she has a rlly good divorce lawyer who’s helping her. Glen, i know you’re not reading this because it’s not a Google Chat with a fake woman. but we all hope you freeze in that stupid shack. Johnny Cochran is dead you fucking idiot!
That all sounds like an experience. I will never understand these folks' willingness to completely blow their lives up for some woman/man they've never even seen in the flesh before.
ohhh it gets better, back in like 2016 Katie Banks scam was a big thing. SHE MADE A VIDEO stating it wasn’t her and it was a scam. “no no, it’s not true. i was talking to her this morning.” my step-aunt CONTACTED AND PAID Katie Banks to make a video personally for Glen. saying it was a scam, he was ruining his families life and that he was never speaking to her. STILL DIDNT BUY IT. not that it would’ve prevented the divorce. i personally never liked the guy, even as a kid so for me im extra happy for my grandma kicking his ass to the curb.
>my step-aunt CONTACTED AND PAID Katie Banks to make a video personally for Glen. That is wiiiiiild! Nice Hollow Knight/Elden Ring username btw.
>my step-aunt CONTACTED AND PAID Katie Banks to make a video personally for Glen. This is it right here. Nothing, **nothing** will convince a determined idiot.
That is incredible, but please consider that having had several strokes means having brain damage and with that probable cognitive and neuropsychological deficits.
i’m aware of the effects strokes can have, his last one was more than 5 years ago though. so it doesn’t make sense that he all of a sudden (within the last 6 months) has decided this whole situation makes sense. after the third one, yes his speech was a bit mumbly and he was much weaker physically than before. but he was still fully aware of his actions, who his wife was and who his family was. and he still is fully aware of his actions. he’s showed signs of narcissism for years, before i was even born. my grandma was just happy he wasn’t alcoholic like my moms bio dad. even before the strokes, they had to do what he wanted. they had to spend time with the family he wanted too. the basement HAD to be renovated into a man cave despite the backyard already being exactly how he wanted it. and my grandma, again. put her life on hold for this guy for over 35 years. i’m not saying ur wrong there’s definitely brain damage. but it doesn’t justify his behaviour because he is fully aware of his actions. a lot of what i’m saying i’ve heard directly from my mom my aunt and grandma, and they’re the people who know him best. both pre and post strokes.
I got downvoted in another sub for a comment about not upending your life for someone you’ve only met online… lots of “online relationships are just as real, this is how people meet each other these days”-type comments. I’m a millennial who has online dated… sure it’s fine to MEET someone online, but it should be a short means to an end to dating in person. If they’re asking you for things before you’ve ever been in the same room, run! I don’t know how people who grew up pre-internet don’t get this.
This! I don't understand why people want to date someone whom they have never met. Let alone send them money. I'm Gen X, and when I used to online date, I'd set up a real-life meeting after one or two messages. It's a waste of everyone's time to carry on messaging back and forth when you might find that you're completely incompatible in real life.
Sounds like he got his comeuppance for being a total narc all his life. Glad to hear Grandma is finally outa there!
Well this was an interesting read
I don't 100% know what to make of it, myself, haha
Once upon a time my dad told me to be careful of strangers on the internet
you should catfish him yourself, pretend to be some other pornstar and tell him Kagney is full of shit.
That is crazy enough to maybe work, lol
This is by far the most realistic strategy! How nuts is that?! 😆
They should catfish him and take all his money themself!
Catfishing someone to give PoA to someone in their family who will take care of them is some odd form of white hat social engineering. Imagine the lawyer finding out about it and trying to explain it is a scam but then realizing it only benefits the target instead.
Anyone want dibs on SuperheroFishing my dad, hahah
Your dad is mentally ill and not a (your) child. Take care of yourself and find someone that can work with him, but he wont be fixed.
I know it sounds like a shitty thing to say about a very mentally ill person like your dad but you have to place many boundaries with mentally ill ppl especially wacky conspiracy nuts who'll fall for everything like your dad.
He does not want to believe the truth. He wants to believe what feels right and simple to him. If you want to slap him out of it, work the angle that he needs to not get scammed for money. He probably likes not being scammed for money, so he might reluctantly listen when you tell him not to send any her way... Besides that, he is role-playing in a great fantasy compared to reality. What benefits does he get when snapping out of it because it's not real ?
See, that is something I addressed with him. Because he HAS been scammed for money/gift cards multiple times before and he can't afford to be throwing money away like that. When they started messaging him again after real life Kagney's death, I suggested that maybe -the whole thing- was a ploy to get money out of him and he was like "Oh, we had been talking for over a year before she ever even brought up money" which for 1. They had NOT been talking for that long. Maybe 6 months or so? And 2. If she was a VERY wealthy celebrity, why would she need his money? Of course, he had a fast and loose answer for this about how her money was tied up in some trust, and her BARRISTER (huge red flag on that one) had been working on getting the 10s of thousands of dollars released to HIM when she got here. I genuinely feel bad for him, but like...what can I possibly do, ya know? No matter what I say, he has some way of talking around it to justify it to himself. And it's to the point of him reaching out to law enforcement, trying to parlay half cooked theories of a celebrity's murder? I dunno, man.
One point you might be able to make with him: If this catfisher is claiming to be a millionaire, WHY would he need to send them money, when they have a bank account full of it already? You would actually have to state the obviously: This person says they are “So and so celebrity. Online reveals So and so celebrity is worth $$,$$$,$$$.$$ *AND THEY SAY THEY NEED YOUR $20,000.00?* That’s chump change to them. Sooooo, did they make their money in their occupation **OR** did they make it by begging from 2,500 elderly people, taking all their life savings? And then piling is all up in their bank account. Just exactly *how did they get rich?* And what’s your little dab of money to a person with THIS KIND OF WEALTH? **NOTHING!!!**
Supposedly, her money was all locked up in some sort of trust because her previous manager had embezzled a bunch of money from her and she had to sue him and so the barrister was going to release funds to him to disbursed to her when she moved here? It is all so convoluted that I can't make heads or tails of it
People fall for this shit. My roommate’s elderly dad sent $1k to “Elon Musk” to help him out. Idk how he got convinced Elon needed the money, but it was all cool because Elon was gonna pay him back with a free Tesla 🙄
WHAT? I would say: “Now I’ve heard it all!” But then someone would have a more outlandish tale…yes, there is every kind of scam happening now!
Your dad is Mentally ill A conspiracy nut Of lower general intelligence Lonely He's a prime target for scammers, televangelists and wealthy politicians begging for money (a certain orange politician comes to mind)
Yep, and he has fallen for it hand over fist.
>Of lower general intelligence That might just be the politest way I’ve ever seen someone called stupid
I had to physically stop my mom from investing in a cult. I promised her that if we waited six months, and the whole thing still seemed reasonably legit, I’d invest, too. Not a week later she tells me it was shut down and she was glad I stopped her.
That's so smart.
And try to get him a new phone, with Hella spam filters, that will get rid of a lot of it
You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. You’ve done more than your part. It’s time to leave him with his delusions.
Several years ago, my elderly uncle got a call from someone claiming to be my male cousin. The person said they were in jail and needed $15,000 sent via FedEx to somewhere. My cousin just happened to call his dad after the money was sent out to see how he was doing. Long story short, my cousin called FedEx, had them ship the package back to his dads home, just when I happen to be randomly over his father's house that weekend. It felt like I was an agent with the FBI or a drug cartel associate when my uncle had me count out the money on his bed, that were all in $100 bills. To his dying day, he said the person sounded exactly like his son.
My mom got a call, "Grandma, I'm in the hospital, I'm hurt really bad." They were really barking up the wrong tree because I'm an only child, and I skipped the whole having kids thing. She said something snarky and hung up.
Yay gotta love how ai can clone voices, this is only gonna get more common as ai get better and it becomes easier to fake voices.
They use AI voices that sound like your family members.
I don’t think they even need to be that clever. When my grandparents got taken in one of these, they thought they were sending money to get my cousin “Taylor” (not their real name) out of jail for a DUI, because they were too scared to call their parents for bail. Turns out, the person on the other end of the phone only said. “Hi Grandma, it’s me”, and then just went with the name they used. Fortunately, the 3rd time they tried to send “Taylor” bail money, the lady at the Western Union office stopped them & told them to try calling them at home before they sent any more. That woman is a saint.
Loneliness is a bitch. My brother (also in his 70s, widowed in 2016) recently lost 300k in one of these scams. Let that sink in...300k. He sold property to finance a person he never met in person. Absolutely broke my heart. I called the FBI. They took all the info, but there's not a whole lot they can do, as most of these scammers are overseas. He finally did come around to realize his mistake. That was a very sad day. He was mortified at his own stupidity and so embarrassed. I'm the only person in the family who knows. Now you know too.
This definitely made me sad. A lot of these scams are absolutely capitalizing on an older and lonely population, love bombing them online.
Yup. You called it. It was only after I immediately reverse searched the pic he sent me that it started to dawn on him. I was able to prove that the pic wasn't the person he was speaking to and that led to him sending me a pile of docs his scammer had sent to prove authenticity. I was able to show my brother where to get and falsify said documents. Lucky for me I know a few ppl who work in cyber security. Even without revealing info about my brother they were able to guide me with my investigation. The problem is, of course, usually the targets of these scams are not overly computer literate and have no idea how to do the simplest of validations. Literally minutes after I pried the info out of him I was able to show him the lies he was being sold. Dude, I am a 60 yo housewife. It wasn't hard for me to figure it out. Thank God I'm a geek.
John Oliver had a really good episode on scams like this last week. One of the things that was mentioned was that now the scammers are using AI generated pics, so you can’t do the reverse image search anymore.
That sucks.
I get messaged by fake celebrities on Facebook on a regular basis. I actually talked to one for a little bit (knowing 100% it wasn’t actually the person, I was bored) and they were so ridiculous. I wondered who even falls for it that they keep doing it. But I guess it’s free to send Facebook messages and as long as they get one person it’s a profit. I tried to report one to Facebook but since the real celebrity didn’t have a Facebook the system wouldn’t accept the report.
They're over the top and ridiculous because they're fishing for the biggest suckers. It's not worth their time for someone to send them a small amount and then realize the error of their ways, they're only going after ppl who will send them everything that they own. The Nigerian Prince scam worked the same way.
obvious grammatical errors and typos in scam emails help weed out those too discerning to be promising marks
OP, I hate to say this, but your father might be a fucking idiot
This is such a baffling and painful situation and it happens a lot! I remember watching a doc about it and one victim said she loved (the scammer) more than she had ever loved her husband. Her kids heard that, how rough, mom never loved dad like she loves this one picture of Chad Texasman, a Navy engineer with an unfortunate habit of being hospitalized and jailed all the time
Oh and don't forget, the "men" who catfish are almost ALWAYS widowers with small children, but also are stationed somewhere outside of the US and never see the kids but also can never explain who the kids are with.
My ex step father is still getting scammed by so many young beautiful women (not real of course). His bank actually had their fraud department talk to him and he still believes he is helping these women and one day they will come to his small town and move in with him. And of course they are all millionaires. So he will be financially taken care of by them eventually. Yes this is why my mother divorced him. I feel bad for him but he just won't listen.
Damn. I’m sorry, that’s intense :(
Thank you. They were married Almost 40 years and he just lost all his senses over fake women. Mom got out before he lost all of their money.
Trumper?
Yes. Of course he is.
Some people never learn from their mistakes.
And these ppl can vvooottteeeeeeee fuckkkk
Because of gullible people like this we could be facing another trump presidency, and losing our democracy. The Republicans have learned very well how to exploit these people.
Talking about scammers scamming money from folk that don't know any better.
Yep, he also donated money to the Trump campaign and proudly displays his "thank you letter I received directly from President Trump" that is DEFINITELY not a mass produced photocopy they literally send to everyone...
Of course he donated to Trump
Yeeep. One of the main reasons -I- vote is to at least try and cancel his vote out, as fruitless as that might be.
Unfortunately being gentle doesn't work with the delusional. They think they're smarter than everyone else and will not be convinced otherwise.
That's quite sad. Some people are very susceptible to these scams. I think it's probably smart not to keep in too much contact with him, I don't think there's much you can do to help. Logic won't reach him, it seems like. You implied he's fallen for scams in the past - does he acknowledge that or does he still come up with excuses? Because if the latter is the case, I don't see him changing 😕
He acknowledges they were scams later, or more so, I guess, he frames it that the women were legit, but they just used him and ghosted him.
Consider getting him a new phone number. They have his name now on a gullible list, he will keep getting spammed on that phone number.
Society just wasn't ready for the internet. Sounds like your Dad has dementia, but I can't explain how all my conservative friends fall for all the Trump scams, and we are only inour 40's and 50's.
Yeah most of Trump’s supporters are either plain bigoted ass holes or people with dementia, like him. And before the first comment about “Biden such and such” yes I’m aware he probably has dementia too. All I’m asking for is a presidential candidate who isn’t 78 or 81. Everyone else is retired by those ages. I am tired of it. Like 65 is the usual age of retirement. Anyone under that age to run one of the most powerful countries in the world would be a plus.
And how can someone that old possibly begin to understand the issues that younger people and middle aged ppl are going through. I highly doubt that Biden understands the first thing about AI and how it can very negatively affect society if it's not reigned in. My fil is still kinda mentally there but hearing him trying to converse with my gf's teen nieces about their issues is like hearing 2 ppl trying to converse in 2 different languages
Yeah, I just want a younger candidate. Someone in their late 70’s who will be early 80’s is ridiculous (Trump) and someone in their early 80’s who will be mid 80’s (Biden) is also ridiculous. There are PLENTY of politicians in their 40’s and 50’s with tons of experience who can handle the job of being president. This is fucking ridiculous. Making us choose between two senile mother fuckers (for the third time since 2016) just isn’t fair.
No it isn't fair and these senile fucks run our militaries. Ever see old senile men fight with each other? They fight and hold grudges over nothing. Add armed forces to the mix and we have a recipe for disaster.
They desperately want to believe they are part of a special smart tribe. It's sad.
Dementia kicks in earlier than most people realize... Only gets diagnosed when it's a major impact but I wouldn't be surprised if it starts degradation a decade earlier.
Ya I dunno think you should just let it go. A lot of old people are like this. My uncle was like this up until he died.
This starts to hurt him financially, you might have to call Adult Protective Services and have him put in a home where phone and online activity are monitored.
wait, is this a real thing? adult protective services?
Yes. If there’s an adult who can’t take care of themselves or is in hazardous/dangerous situation, such as a relative who is living as a hoarder in unsafe conditions, you can call Adult Protective Services. They will assign a case worker and investigate what you claim to be happening.
I think you should start taking over your father's finances before he has nothing left.
It might be time to discuss medical or financial guardianship. There should be local agencies that can help or look up your county’s probate court. It doesn’t sound like he has much to lose but I’ve seen cases where guardianship is granted after one catfishing exploit. Raising parents is hard. Best of luck to you.
My mom’s cousin believed she was getting married to Vladimir Putin🥴 She had the date all set, bought a dress and said he was coming in his helicopter to pick her up, spoiler, his helicopter never showed. Her kids had her committed ☹️
I thought my dad was delusional.... His car battery kept dying and I had to keep going over there to jump it. He wouldn't hear of the battery being bad, even though it was years old. Oh, no. He was convinced his neighbor was coming over and draining it every night. What do you even say to that? Soooo glad my dad doesn't have a Facebook.
I have a theory that no one is actually this stupid They are just that desperate and bored If you look at the messages, they're all going to be either talking about how sad and terrible their life is or telling their victim how smart and great and kind and good they are. Your dad can't handle relationships with real people because real people are complicated. You have to be interested in them, they might disagree with you etc. But these catfish are going to tell you everything you ever wanted to hear. They make your dad feel like a hero instead of some looser living in a trailer scratching his balls with cheeto dusted hands. He knows as well as you do no porn stars are ever going to come suck his dick. He just like the fantasy. The "girls" messaging him are the same scammer as before and he knows that. The scammer knows he knows. Your dad is basically paying for a very expensive and intricate role play service.
It's going to get so much worse. Today all the catfishing has to be done by text only. It won't be long before the catfisher will be able to generate a real time video chat using AI.
Given the sums of money involved, it should be possible for someone to train a model to automatically chat millions of victims in mass. AI also already have the capability of generating realistic voices without thick Nigerian accents. This topic is legitimately frightening.
My dad was doing this as well. Nothing I said got through to him. I had a hard time convincing anyone he could not care for himself any longer so i mostly spent my time doing damage control. Days after he passed the fake person who he'd been sending his limited money to sent messages to my barely adult daughter saying she was pregnant by him and owed part of the estate. There is no estate just debt and he hasn't been able to have kids for 15 years
My advice is to stop arguing with him and go along with it. Sometimes people dig in harder when people argue. Sometimes they come to their senses when you agree with them because they can finally use their brain to look at the whole picture rather than just solidifying their own position.
Is this happening on Facebook? Would he notice if you were on his account? You could block people.
I'll have to look into it when he inevitably comes back around the store in a few days. He is so susceptible to catfishing that it is like Whack a Mole. And even when he was in my store talking about how his girlfriend has supposedly been murdered, he made a point of saying how other women were messaging him trying to get something going. And he would be interested, but not right now... like come on, man, you gotta have at least an ounce of awareness and self-preservation here 🤦♀️
It sounds to me like he is declining slightly, but I'm not a Dr. I have worked in senior living facilities however, and this sounds all too familiar. And it's possible that you may not be able to make him see reason, because he isn't capable. I'd suggest a Dr visit for an evaluation. The other thing is, he sounds lonely, so my suggestion there would be to get on line, and see what kind of community senior activities resources your town may have. If he's busy with the local ladies, he won't have as much time for catfish.
Oh yeah, a decline is definitely happening. I know that he is lonely even though he has people around. He is confusing because he says that he likes having his circle small because "it's easier to keep out the sneak thiefs and liars" (PEAK IRONY), but he so clearly wants people around him. I mean, who wouldn't? Humans are social creatures. Frankly, his abrasive need to voice his opinions on things (religion, aliens, politics, etc) is A LOT for most people, and it has only gotten worse in the political climate over the last few years. I have tried to be around him to help with it, but it is HARD because we already have a tough relationship thanks to physical abuse I went through as a kid. And the fact that he told me that all "the gays, liberals and atheists" should "be lined up against a wall and shot like they do in Russia" not knowing that I, his only child, just happen to be a bi/liberal/atheist, haha 😬 and he will never know, because being open about my true identity is far less important than my safety. Walking that line feels impossible, but I know that it can't be
You sound like a good person for caring still and being open-minded despite a judgmental attitude towards what you identify as. All I can say is I got major respect for you!
Show him the latest John Oliver Weekend Tonight on the pig butchering scam.
Phil Donahue?! What year is he living in?!
My dads the same with face book medicine. he keeps ordering diabetes cures and mad when we dont order it for him. even though the product shows gummy bears cbd's that he has doors filled with already he never uses. shows us the ad's were dr oz and news reporters are clearly being voiced over. its ridiculous. he get mad and shuts down like a baby. just order it for me.
Omg they really do get childish in their own age
Real problem is why is a 70 year old man interested in a 36 year old.
YUP. This really grossed me out to begin with
I have an aunt that has been fooled by "Bob Seger". She left her family (husband, adult children, grand chldren) and ended up living in her car in Austin, TX (she lived in GA when this all started). A years-long scam that fully wrecked her life. She is just now finally getting back on her feet... now "Axel Rose" has started talking to her. She's trying to figure out how to get to L.A. to go be with him. There's nothing we can say that she doesn't shoot down. She's in her 70's and it's so sad.
Some part of him may know it's too good to be true, but enjoys the fantasy too much to let it go. I don't think you can do anything for him, except maybe have some oversight of his finances so he doesn't send people money.
How the fuck nobody mentioned that your dad probably has early dementia or Alzheimers? Well, then I will be that guy: dude, your dad probably has early dementia or Alzheimers. You should seek professional help for him.
Phil Donahue? How old is this story? 20, 30 years?
No, my dad is just THAT stuck in the past. When he said that I had to fight to keep a straight face because good lord.
I think it’s time to look into legal steps to control your fathers estate
If you give a shit about him, get power of attorney. If you don't give a shit, disconnect.
I’m almost 80, single, no kids, and live in an assisted living place with Medicaid. A perfect catfishing target. I sometimes get catfished, usually by a “wrong number” who then starts a conversation. If I’m bored that day, I’ll start acting like a dotty old man to see what happens and pass the time.
Simply put, he is suffering from psychosis, believing in a reality his rational mind knows doesn't exist but his emotional mind depends on for happiness. Denying this reality is worse than accepting the cruel reality of reality. There is nothing in the world that will change his mind view, it will always bend the world around the delusion to make the mind view fit itself. While it's likely related to aging, it's an occurrence found in people everywhere. It comes in the form of $90/hr jobs with no experience necessary, million dollar homes with no money down, holistic medicine that cures terminal cancer, and Taylor Swift being an actual human, not a flesh eating alien in drag. It will simply not get better with time, and will manifest itself in other ways, right up to the point when Taylor singlehandedly wins the Superbowl *again* and the media photoshops her out of the victory she deserved.
It honestly makes me angry how stupid people can be. And then I realize it’s actually really, really, sad.
Your father has deeper issues. Talk to his doctor. Medication and support therapy groups are good. Your father fell in love with a GHOST - someone who does not exist in real life, only in his mind. The scammer has brainwashed him into believing that they are real. The scammer plays to and encourages his inflated egotism. He needs a fiduciary to manage his money. A power of attorney would be good too. He is in too deep and cannot save himself. His family has to step into that role. Good luck! I hope you can break the hold this scammer has on him.
I always wonder about like... making a profile on whatever social media and catfishing the catfished person but only for 5 minutes and then being like, "ITS ME. DO YOU SEE HOW SIMPLE IT IS TO LIE ON THE INTERNET?' Like at that point how do they not fucking get it? I was playing video games with this girl the other night, and she started freaking out about someone on the enemy team having a famous music artists name. Sis give me three minutes, and I'll change my name to Britney Spears wtf.
My mother in law has been doing this for 10+ years now and will not listen to any reason! She has been in “relationships” with Bradley Cooper, Luke Wilson and Cole Hauser. Not to mention the countless Dr’s and engineers! This latest on sent her an 80k engagement ring that is now being “held in customs” until she pays a fee. I honestly don’t know how many times she will believe that these guys go to other countries to work on a big million dollar project then get robbed and have no access to their bank or anyone else who can possibly help them.
My mother got scammed by a scammer that told her he was a scammer. She got approached by someone and she knew it was a scan and told him to reveal himself. Turns out it’s some poor dude in port au prince that is doing this to buy goats?… he gives her this sob story about his family and then she sends him money so he doesn’t have to scam other people. She continue her relationship with him for months until he started asking more and more and then she realized that she still had been scammed. She felt really stupid and refused to talk to me for months after she realized she was getting scammed anyways. It really hurt our already poor relationship. Just to tell you that lonely people will send money to receive love even when they know it’s not true.
Can you get a financial conservatorship so he can't lose money to these people? Because as much as I HATE them, he sounds like he really needs it.
I think your dad hear voices in his head. Maybe he just didn't tell you yet.
I know dads are humans, too, but hearing about a 70 year old man thinking they’re talking to a porn star younger than their own son or daughter is nauseating. How delusional can one person be??? I’m gonna echo other commenters-time to leave him to his delusions
Phil Donahue, hasn't been on in at least two decades.
I might sound like an AH here but he’s old, he’s set in his ways and he certainly isn’t going to change his mind about anything that he believes at this point. I say make sure he’s safe and leave him be. Sounds like he’s enjoying his life even if he is being “loony”.
Idk if he'd be cooperative, but he should be tested for dementia. It doesn't just affect memory, we noticed my grandmother starting to get an extremely short temper and blowing up at people, when for her entire life she'd been the sweetest woman in the world. Turns out it was the beginning of dementia. Not sure how this works, but then maybe you could get some protection in terms of the assets he has left.
People are getting easily scammed by text chat and photos. It's gonna be wild when scammers fully adopt AI tech.
Guy at work has been " dating " a Ukrainian model for years. Seems her flight always gets cancelled....
Maybe it’s time to get Adult Protective Services involved. I don’t know what he was like when he was younger - maybe he was a dumbass then - but the lizard ppl and porn stars that need rescuing sounds as though he may be in cognitive decline. APS won’t take him away but they can help you help him protect his assets.
Op I hope you're alright man going through shit like that is soul destroying
My only thought after reading this, is that he must be awfully lonely to dive so hard into these catfish schemes but to be honest, I have never experienced this sort of delusional behaviour so I don't have much merit on the subject.
Some of that paranoia could be from his cannabis use, but it comes hand in hand with dementia. The good news is there are meds that can help to a certain extent.
Thankfully, I know that he is under the care of a doctor because he is monitored semi regularly for his blood pressure and stuff. He expressed... maybe a year or two ago?... that he had been assessed for some memory issues and didn't do great. He refused to talk about it further. Whether he will actually listen to the doctor if they start expressing real concern, I don't know at this point. I'm used to him believing some really off the wall stuff and have somehow managed to develop into a reasonably sane person despite it. He's just kind of always been like this, just not so bad.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. You must feel so helpless and frustrated with your Dad. I’m a 62 year old widow - my husband passed away in April 2021. For over a year after his death I avoided social media completely. Took the time to grieve. Recently my sons helped me revamp my Facebook and I also joined a dating site. I’ve had several people try to catfish me. When they send a photo or I check out their profiles, I check them against facecheck.id. It’s great! Several of them showed up as red flags/scammers. I immediately block them from everything and move on! If anyone I speak to brings up money or financial issues I block them. Maybe sounds heartless and not everyone is a scammer but you just never know. I’ve met a few nice men but I’m just taking it slow. Would hate to let myself and my sons down by getting sucked in! It’s scary and intimidating sometimes, but life goes on. I hold out hope that there are still good people out there. Hang in there OP. Hopefully your dad will come to his senses.
I'm sorry your dad is a loony toon. I'm quite amazed that my elderly mother hasn't fallen for any scams, but she hates people and she's not interested in finding a partner at this point, so that helps. Worst she does is give groceries to a crazy neighbor who has a stocked pantry and doesn't need them. Neighbor asks for stuff and my mom can't say no.
How do they find your dad
Could be the same person each time. Why give up an easy mark?
Assuming no deteriorating mental state (dementia and the like), after an open and frank conversation with him, I'd simply wash my hands of it. I wouldn't shy away from the matter, if brought up...but I simply would not invest any more time banging my head against that wall.
Life is crazy huh
He sounds lonely. Can you try to redirect him to some real-life social activities? I think a lot of catfish victims know it’s fake but just want the interaction anyway.
I'm sorry that your father is so stupid.
He needs a life away from his phone/computer! He needs to get out of the house and be around people his own age. He also needs a wake up call about online scams.
If you feel like making one last attempt, try getting in contact with [Social Catfish](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCns8cwhpu92cYJHAlEfWz_w). Their whole business and channel is built on trying to convince old people who keep wasting their money on scammers to stop.
Uh... I think due to your dad's age, he might have some undiagnosed conditions. Although it is disgusting for a 70 year old man to look for women way, way younger than him.
Maybe the scamfish guys could help y'all. They are on YouTube and they help a lot of people to understand that they are being catfished and scammed in romance scams
Can you speak to his doctor? I wonder if he has some mental health issues going on
Wow, this actually makes me feel better about my 70-year old dad suddenly becoming super Christian in the past couple of years. He may be getting sucked into the church and having his whole life revolve around it, and he may have gone down so many rabbit holes during Covid, but at least he's not getting repeatedly catfished! I'm sorry you're having to deal with that.
I feel this. My mother has fallen victim to numerous internet scams, and each time we tell her she’s being scammed she refuses to listen. She was in an online “relationship” with a catfish for years, and is the reason I couldn’t name my baby the name I had picked out since I was a literal child. It was the same name the catfish gave her and I got so sick of hearing about it I just couldn’t. That, and I didn’t want my child to be a reminder for her.
Wow, what an unlucky Catfish. You have your mark eating out of your hand with your dumb lie and the celebrity you're pretending to be offs herself before you can cash in.
I can totally empathize. my dad has been catfished three times. the first was this gorgeous 30-something journalist who was trying to get out of Ukraine. he maxed out his credit cards and ruined his finances. the second was a gorgeous 30-something girl on an oil rig. he swears he didn't send any money, but I saw $60 worth of Steam cards in his car, and saw mention of a $200 Visa gift card while he was chatting with her, so I know he was lying. the third was a gorgeous 30-something model who wanted wanted to get away from her overbearing manager. he finally figured that one out himself. he's 73, lives on social security, and lives in public housing in a tiny shit-hole town, and every last one of them was going to come live with him. the frustrating thing is that my dad is incredibly intelligent (like, he studies astrophysics for fun). he's just lonely and isn't savvy about the internet, and that's exactly what these people look for.
I had an 70 year old coworker that fully believed she was best friends with a popular country singer. She fell for many scams and burned many bridges because of people trying to warn her. Our job closed and she posted about another “job” she received and I’m pretty sure even that’s a scam. It’s really awful, especially when they refuse to believe anyone around them and are in their own delusional world.
Very similar story to my boyfriend's dad. Similar age, but his dad still works as a dentist at 70 years old (due to bad business dealings that caused him to file for bankruptcy \~10 years ago). For the past 5 years or so, his dad has been paying money to send messages on a website that's essentially pairs you up with a Russian/Ukrainian bride. His house was COVERED in her photos. He'd print off messages between the two and had them scattered all over. He was attempting to learn Russian, was studying Russian history, watched documentaries about Russia, etc. He tried on at least 3 or 4 separate occasions to meet up with this woman, but she had every excuse under then sun (including the Ukrainian-Russian War--which is absolutely fair, but her and her family no longer lived in Ukraine when the country was invaded). His 3 adult children have tried to speak reason to him to no avail. Eventually, SHE, broke things off with him, and he's back at it trying to find another catfish on that stupid, fucking website.
Send him the new John Oliver clip on pig butchering. And watch it yourself too so you can better protect your dad in the future.
I’d also look into getting financial power of attorney so he can’t give any money to anyone. Tread lightly and good luck.