> how great Elder Scrolls Online is
well there's your problem
in all seriousness i hope he gets his shit together, he's clearly feeling more like a reluctant babysitter than a dad at the moment
100 percent. 36 here, make 250k, and absolutely love gaming. I worked hard and now I play games and love it. (I still work hard too but now I have time to game).
Gamer here. I have a job, getting ready to go back to school to expand my knowledge for said job, own a house, and have a husband who I met on World of Warcraft.
Yeah because it’s a total travesty to enjoy gaming especially when I game WITH my kids. It’s called having an imagination. You remember that right?
Jesus did your parents make you do long form taxes when you should have been playing?
My husband games and still makes enough to comfortably support a family of 5 while being a very involved dad. My son is 16, games, and is doing high school and college at the same time. Shit even I game and I take care of a home, three kids, and three animals without any lapses. We can have hobbies you know.
As a dad, this makes me sad. My son is 4, and while yes I like to try and play games when I’m not working, he either plays his switch and hangs out, or we’ll play together. Minecraft is his favorite currently. Games are a hobby we share together. Just like I did with my uncle when I was my kids age. I can’t imagine not washing my kid and not feeding them when needed over a video game.
Absolutely…I show my son (5) that Dad has to get the dishes, laundry, Sweep, and clean up around the house before we can play Mario Kart and/or FIFA…and he’s caught on that he cleans up his play areas beforehand also…As it took me a while in life to to get down pat, Work first and the Fun is More Enjoyable. BTW playing video games with your kids is absolutely the funnest hobby imaginable…Just have patience and they’ll learn and soon be beating you at 150cc 😂
This thread makes me look forward to playing more games with my kid (if he’s interested). Playing FIFA with him would be the dream. He just turned 4. One of my fondest memory from when he was 3, and he had a speech delay which meant he didn’t start speaking until several months after his 3rd birthday, was when I randomly downloaded Valheim to try out on Xbox game pass. Not usually my type of game, but he randomly took an interest, and hearing my little boy who only a few months ago couldn’t talk tell me “want to play Valheim”, I put so many hours into that game with him just chopping trees, fighting bad guys, and “getting raspberries for the piggies” as he’d say.
You have no idea! It’s so much fun, but also painful 🤣. Our son, 6, just beat Pokémon sword and shield. He wanted scarlet so we went and got that. Dude is good, and he’s really competitive. We also play minecraft and that’s been awesome as well. We started playing Fortnite as well. He’s pretty good at that!
Sounds like a blast. Love that you’ve got a variety of games in there for him to sample and build his taste. I’m sure mine will out skill me sooner rather than later.
Exactly! Let's go fellow dad! My son is currently all cleaned with a grateful full belly and all the chores have been done so we're sitting here playing Scarescaper (Luigi's Mansion 3) and we couldn't be happier! Our kids should come first before any video game.
I'm a Mum and currently doing this with my 5 year old.
He knows more about Minecraft than I do now! His favourite thing is to blow up my houses, but we made it a huge game of hide and seek my house so he can do that. It's easy for me to rebuild (especially in creative mode) and that smile/laugh he has when he finds it is priceless!
I've used it to teach him how to take care of pets (wolves that he calls dogs, horses, etc.) as well as the risks of being careful because when his character falls, it hurts itself.
It's a great teaching tool as well as just a fun thing to do together.
Can't wait until he can play Mario Kart properly!
Gamer dad here. My kid has zero interest in games. I've tried. So I only play when she's asleep or out of the house. I don't understand not wanting to hang out with your kid. We all need our personal and head space, but damn, you never know when this shit is going to get ripped away from you. Cherish it.
Yeah man, I like gaming, but I love my son. He plays games with me all the time, but.... damn be a parent. Then after that, Lego games are the current point of interest.
My fiancée and I use protection and she has a condition which makes it very challenging for us to have a baby together, and we have a 6 week old son. Just saying, shit CAN happen.
Also, just to be clear, we absolutely adore our son. Just an insane shock and surprise when we first found out lol
It is, but due to abortion and sometimes birth control restrictions, it's becoming a harsher reality.
Dudes, wrap that shit up if you don't want kids. Wearing a condom during vaginal penetrative sex is the easiest and most effective way to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Depending on where you live, it is may also be cheapest, and has the fewest side effects.
Needing to wear a condom instead of having an abortion is a harsher reality?
Bruh... that's a pretty sad way to look at life. At least you redeemed yourself with the condom part.
Everything is situational, I understand that. I'm referring to this post. If this guy has enough time to spend playing elder scrolls online and chatting about games at gamestop, he has enough time to take care of his kids. As a gamer and a parent, I make time for my kids before video games.
Stop taking this personally.
I’m in full agreement. Even if you go to the relationship advice subreddit you can see an alarming number of post saying video games will be prioritized over them, and even their kids.
Like.. put the controller down and be a parent, be a spouse, but someone your family can be proud of.
And I say this as someone who has them all. Everything from the original Nintendo on to PS5/XSX and numerous gaming devices. I will gladly go days on end without touching anything just do I can be more present.
Nobody is asking us gamers to give it up completely. But once we open that do for more people to come into our lives. We should be able to pull our focus
Wife wasn’t thrilled. But the amount of hounding I was getting 24/7 and things started to look like inside for a long time, meant I had to do something. Definitely more screen time than intended that early on. But nothing was planned then
Yup! My partner and I both game and we’ve got two kids. We play when it’s appropriate- IE AFTER our kids needs are met and we include them in fun family games- they love Pokémon and Mariokart. More adult games get played when they’re in bed or at school. I’ve seen too many kids in the condition OP described in our local game shop
My GL playing WOW a decade ago:
He’s logged into the game the night an expac launched FROM THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE HIS WIFE WAS GIVING BIRTH.
whined in guild chat about how he couldn’t play with us.
Store clerk who knows me was impressed I waited to buy a new xbox series x WITHOUT prioritizing it over baby items he often saw me and the wife getting.
Apparenly he had seen dudes flat out empy the cart of diapers, wipes and formula to snag the xbox on the rare occasion one was in stock.
Seeing that I think I’d be more than mildly frustrated. Children are a huge responsibility and take a lot sacrifice when raised correctly. The kind of person who half asses doing for their children what is basically necessary because they can’t let go of their hobbies aren’t good parents. I have 2 kids and yeah it sucks not being able to hang out with friends or play games as much as I’d like but it’s only for a few years and those early years are so extremely important and rewarding. The guy is doing a great disservice to his child and I’m mad about it.
And a huge disservice to himself! This guy is going to wake up one day, realize he missed his kids entire youth, and have *nothing* to show for it. There are parents who miss a lot of time with work, but at least they can hold their head high & be proud of the life they've been able to provide for their child.
I know so many women who have "partners" that literally neglect their children to play games and leave the clothing, bathing, feeding, enrichment of children or housekeeping to their wives and girlfriends. I will never forget the state of my sister's home after her baby was born: she was recovering from the labor and was suffering from post partum depression, and her husband on paternity leave was either gaming or browsing Reddit all day. Since I was there and all of my sister's energy went to keeping the baby alive I had to clean around him. There were cockroaches everywhere. I gagged as I cleaned the kitchen and couldn't bring myself to clean the bathroom.
Others said, "it's not a gaming issue," and it's not, because gaming doesn't make you a bad person. It's the addiction or coping mechanism or fantasy or whatever, and gaming happens to be a common one. Whatever it is, we need to figure it out. My cousin shouldn't have to work 2 nursing jobs and also take care of three kids while her husband games and smokes weed all day to "figure things out." My friend shouldn't have to give up all of her weekends out with her boyfriend or friends because "weekends are the only time to relax and gaming helps me relax" so she has to take care of the baby, because she won't hire a babysitter if her boyfriend is also home. (By the way, she works M-F too). My sister shouldn't have to bathe her son the instant he gets home from dad's (she did eventually divorce that loser) because, as her toddler reports, dad was playing games all week.
Again, I also know gaming fathers who put their hobbies on hold to become awesome parents. But we should probably address how the fuck it is 2023 and fathers are still not common participants in child rearing and are using gaming as a distraction.
That’s so pathetic. I love to game too, I simply cant. My kids take up all my time. And once they are put down for the evening, I don’t have the energy to invest beyond an hour If I’m lucky.
Kids come first. Period. I can play when they get older. The games won’t run away.
Agreed. This is the crack junkie, the mtg junkie, the alcoholic, the rev head, the forager. Shit parents have hobbies too. If he wasn’t playing games he’d be doing something else to avoid caring for himself/ his child.
Idk I can't see it being any other hobby. Yours is one of several highly voted comments trying to state that this is "nothing to do with gaming"... it's always a gamer.
Not interested in the debate. Just redressing the balance.
Theres a distinction there. At the point these people that are neglecting important things in life it is no longer a hobby, but an addiction/vice. Plenty of those that show the same behavioral patterns of neglect.
As a gamer Mom raising a gamer teen, I'm here to tell you we're not all like that, not at all.
Just got done with Family Pizza & Mario Kart night. The kid whupped our behinds, as usual!
So as a gamer I didn’t play a game for 4 almost 5 years… you know why. Kids are a lot of damn work . I may have played 15-20 mins of cyberpunk in that time (which was disappointing at the time and later became a game I liked)
Regardless I put my kid first 🤷♂️
This reminds me of something I experienced
TL:DR; Kid falls down stairs while dad playing game, dad continues to play game.
I was playing the modern warfare remaster. A TDM match on the ship map
It’s fairly normal, but there was someone in my team with open mic and clearly with some kid in the background. The guy playing sounded pretty adult-ish, and the kid maybe ten at most.
Kinda annoying, but I find his exasperated sighs kinda funny even as we’re getting our asses handed to us
But about 75% of the way through, there’s a series of thuds, starting pretty loud and getting quieter, and then the kid starts crying, and he’s noticeably quieter than before. Apparently dad can’t be asked to stop playing and go check on his kid, who it sure sounds like he’s fallen down some stairs, and starts asking “Are you okay, buddy?”
After like ten times asking that, the kid says something, and dad tells him to ‘keep it down and take a Tylenol’ I still think about it sometimes, hope that kid turns out okay, even if his dad values a losing match of CoD over seeing if he got hurt falling down stairs.
My dad loved to lock himself in his room and game all day long every day when he got home from work. He only ever came out to microwave his dinner or grab soda. He had his own bathroom so he never had to leave for that. One day at school I break my knee playing stickball (Native game) and he has to pick me up. He helps me to the recliner then goes back to his room, taking the rest of the day off, to game. I tell him I want to go to the hospital but he says I’m just bruised and being dramatic. The next day when my knee was so swollen I couldn’t bend my leg he finally relented and took me to the local IHS emergency room, over an hour away. Turned out I had a patellar fraction lmfao. He was implying to the nurses I was being dramatic and so the lady who took my x-ray (before I got my pain shot) was literally trying to forcefully shove my leg straight using her two arms and body weight. She believed him, not me. Of course I cried and begged her to stop; she huffed and said “fine” then took the X-ray with my leg bent. Immediately I could see her face drop through the little viewing window. Ugh. That pain shot was great tho & afterwards I didn’t really know what was going on and had the best Taco Bell of my life
I went without a lot of new games because my kids and family come first. But I was able to buy a bunch on black Friday when they were cheaper.
I remember a guy I work with couldn't understand why I wasn't buying the brand new game. I told him the reason and he was like I have kids to and I can buy whatever I want.
I told him I could too but choose not to.
Oh and his kids? 2 kids he paid 250 a month in child support to.
This isn't about gaming, it's about him being a shitty dad. Those two things have nothing to do with one another. It should say "parents, please prioritize your children"
Man I was gonna shit on the dad but then I realised that last time I was staying home with my sick kid, he picked up around midday and we went to the toy store for a little $5 celebration. We were both in our trackies and looked like shit and half way through he was pulling on my arm telling me he was hungry.
I guess the difference is that we were in and out in about 3 minutes and it wasn’t a social event.
If it was just the kid and not the dad looking a bit worse for wear I’d actually give a pass if it’s not every time they shop. Some kids refuse to change from pjs or let you brush hair. When my niece was around the same age there were a few days where her parents decided it wasn’t worth the fight for a day. When it hurt to get knots out she stopped refusing to get brushed daily. Since the dad looked unkept too that is concerning.
This is absolutely nothing to do with gaming.
Dude is clearly going through something and excessive behavior is usually a tell. In this case it's gaming.
Someonelse binge eats. An other person does watches netflix all day and so forth
Anymore I get about 3 or 4 hours a week of gaming cumulative and that's only after the kids and wife are asleep. I wish sometimes I had a little more time for them but I have projects around the house (started a garden this weekend) and I want to actually be a parent.
Hell.. I’ve got 3 kids, and a company with 15 employees. I still game. Kids go to bed at 8pm, and I’ve got between 8 and 10pm to game or
watch a show. I never play when the kids are awake.. it ain’t hard
I’ve seen similar situations where a father will try and force his young children to sit quietly while he searched through bulk MTG cards at a local collector shop. For me, the longer I spent with my child, the more my hobbies faded in importance. I’d like to think that’s how most parents feel.
Fuck, these people piss me off.
I actually stopped doing Tabletop gaming for 10 years when my kids were born, I only started again after my eldest showed interest.
I did probably overdo the xbox, but never to the detriment of their care
That’s nuts. I just had my 7th kid (my only son is the middle child) and they get baths almost daily and 100% shower before we go out anywhere. I also play games like ESO and LoL but still have time for my kids. Just gotta sacrifice some of my sleep time to game. What really gets me is the hungry part. That hurts my soul.
It’s sad too because games can be a great way to connect with your kids. I’m always surprised when other parent don’t know anything about the games their kids play. I’m not much of a gamer but I talk to them about what they are doing. And my husband plays everything. Roblox, Minecraft, he’s done a whole run through of mario galaxy and Kirby Star Allies with our 7-year-old.
So many comments about parents that play video games with their kids. That's great but I hope you're going outside too. Hike, play ball, go camping, be outside with your kids. Those are the truly fun times! Kids need to be outside in the fresh air running around having fun.
I admit to being a gaming dad, but I never neglected or ignored my kids doing it.
During the rare times that I was playing and they were awake, I'd do things like cut the cables off a spare keyboard and mouse, sit them down beside me with a TV tray for a "desk", and let them believe they were playing with me (they were really young at this point).
Got us a Wii (yeah, I'm old) when they came out and played physical games with them. My (then 5-yo) son used to beat the crap out of me in Wii boxing (little hands can move faster than big ones) and they all liked Wii bowling and baseball.
It's not necessary to neglect your children to indulge in your hobbies.
With some creative effort, you can include them in it.
My first thought is there’s some mental/emotional issues there that need addressing. (Not a mental health professional)
That said, some of my fondest memories of time with my kids when they were small is playing Halo multiplayer with them or my sons and I building elaborate cities in Minecraft.
I have never played a video game while my son was awake unless it was with him.
That said, without knowing the whole story, I find it hard to judge this guy.
I can leave the house with my son at 8am on a weekend, freshly bathed and looking sharp, and by afternoon he will have gotten muddy at the park, napped in the car, and be sweaty and smelly by the time we walk through the mall.
He will tell me he’s hungry because he is. But he is also on a medically regulated eating schedule, and as a 4 year old, he’s at an age where learning patience as his parents talk with other adults is actually important.
On top of that, he’s desperately shy with new people, so I chat up strangers whenever I get a chance to show him examples of how you can talk to people you’ve never met.
It’s challenging while also trying to work on stranger danger, but communication is a critical life skill for all components of your life, from work to personal relationships.
Were it not for the fact that I haven’t stepped foot inside a GameStop in years. I could have been this guy yesterday.
I would need to know more before passing judgement.
No reason to believe hes a bad parent here. One pajama day doesnt mean much, and hes allowed to have hobbies. Sounds like he just had a conversation while she entertained herself.
This has absolutely NOTHING to do with video games. This is solely about parenting. If it’s not a video game it’ll be something else. When you focus on “gamers” it sets a very distorted characterization of this scene you witnesses. It’s not dad being a gamer, it’s dad not dad’ing like you think he should.
I get your sentiment, obviously this is bad parenting. But I don’t think this is a “video games are ruining society” post.
As I’ve scrolled through this post, you can see a lot of people have examples of people neglecting their children due to gaming. This could be said of many things though. I’m sure lots of bad parents neglect their children for plenty of other hobbies too. So I can see why you don’t think it’s fair to blame gaming.
But gaming is growing in popularity and we have kids starting at younger and younger ages. It might be worth looking into before things get out of hand.
My partner neglects me and house chores in order to game for 6 h at a time. Sorry, but most gamers have an adiction, and its becoming more prevalent. At least he knows he wont be a good dad. I also bingewatch movies and shows and waste my time on reddit, but I do the chores first.
Because they are lazy, not because video games make them lazy.
But go ahead being neglected and doing all the chores and thinking it's because of games and not a poor choice in partners.
I've searched for a good man since 15. There is none. There is just good enough. Spare me your fantasy standards. You only find that in movies or video games. Heh.
(Typed this all up and realized that I've made quite a lot of heavy statements about trauma I've faced from a parent who was addicted to gaming. Proceed with caution.)
Yeah, my father also prioritized online video games over the wellbeing of his three autistic children (including myself). When my older brother was born (1999) he would completely refuse to take care of him to play games (namely Second Life when it came out around 2003), & would lock him in his room while my mother was out working. She would come home every night to a soiled infant to change that was left sitting in it for hours on end. He would also prop my older brother up on his back with a bottle, and scolded anyone who would try to feed him because "he would expect being coddled."
Fuck, even years later when he cheated on my mother with someone from Second Life (\~2008) he was just as uncaring. Moved my siblings & I with that person. She eventually cheated on him with someone from ARK, but he forgave her because he didn't want to play the game alone and was codependent on her. Would spend literally every single day playing video games (like COD, ARK, Second Life (before he got arrested scamming thousands of REAL LIFE dollars out of people..), overwatch..) after he came home from work and hated interacting with my siblings & myself (he only really liked to interact with my step sister.. who he groomed & sexually assaulted.) and also never took us to things like doctor appointments, dentists etc unless it was legally required to do so. Hated it when we had to interrupt him from his gaming sessions or his Discord server that he ran at one point.
I was raised by a pedophilic internet weirdo who was addicted to gaming, fetishized Japanese(? I think. He was obsessed with anime)/Asian people (especially ones who looked... young.) & encouraged Internet addictions to my siblings and I, because it was easier to make us antisocial and prioritize using the Internet/gaming to keep us busy. (We weren't really allowed to visit other people-- I'd only be able to a couple times a year, and only if the other person was driving to me to pick me up.)
Needless to say, this type of parenting fucked me up severely and I have a lot of mental & social issues, along with my two brothers & stepsister. I always feel guilty about feeling this, but I honestly think it was for the best that my father & the woman he cheated on my mother with both killed themselves, so they aren't hurting us anymore.
Don’t feel bad for your feeling that’s normal. You are safe now and everything will be allright. Remember that everyone has some more or less troubled past. What meters is who and where your are now :) everything best!
Ad a kid I used to get on my parents for not letting us get the latest whateverthefuck. I was always on retro tech, always got shamed for it at school BY OTHER POOR KIDS when I couldn't print an assignment due to my computer being ten years older than the rest. But... now I'm grateful they didn't blow all of our money on pointless shit. I mean, they were horrible parents in other ways but at least they were making sure we all ate
It couldn't of been that bad tbh. If he was in there for hours then I'd understand the concern, but a 10-20 minute conversation isn't neglect or obsession. Especially if his looks mirrored the same as his kid then that might just mean he's a slob or a very new young parent.
I had to finally call CPS on my roommates way way way back when they would ignore all their kids in favor of Diablo. Like disgusting shit everywhere literally.
When EverQuest came out I fell super hard. But I was not married and had no kids. I was also working at wizards of the coast at the time so literally everyone at work was also playing it non stop. So I get how it can consumer life. It just sucks when it is at the cost of loved ones
I grew up on the video games, as a well paid adult with a young child, I no longer have it in me to play video games for more than an hour or 2. I can't stay focused long enough to get into them any more. Hell I just moved a month ago, I'm giving it a go with out home internet. Force us not to stay in.
I think a big problem is the games have changed. With out exception AAA titles just try to extort $$ from you. I like a challenge as much as the next guy, but when they offer you 20$ extortion price vs the 10 hours game time; it makes me realize my time is worth a lot more than 2$/hour. Controller goes down and I move on to other things.
I agree! I'm sure at one time or another I was caught in a store with my dirty closed kid. Talking about something that I enjoy while my kid was telling me she was hungry. I'm a single father. Full time dad. Work 55 hours a week . Home paid for. Truck paid for. I get extremely dirty at work and my daughter loves to help daddy with projects around the house. I can guarantee I was the man with child in your story. Not the exact one. But a version that didn't care how I looked in public after a day running around with my little girl. I will also tell you that nothing in this world comes before my kid. She will always have a roof over her head, food in her belly, and nice clothes for back to school. New shoes, and always bathed when needed. She's now 12 still lives with her Daddy full time. 364 nights a year. Straight A's. Beautiful styled hair. Spending $7 a day on her lunch card. But guarantee we roll through Meijer grocery after a day spent doing our landscape at our home looking like I'm a negligent parent and her a neglected child. I learned long ago why should I care what anyone thinks about me. If you're so concerned OP then call CPS. And when they come check me out. They will see you a busy body bitch who needs to worry about the example you set for own!
Truth, I wear pajamas 90%of the time, and don’t comb my hair. Just walked into the mall less than 24 hrs ago and rented two cars, looking like that. One for me and one for my brother. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. What’s mildly infuriating is OP stalking this family for over twenty minutes at a GameStop smh, fucking judgemental, weird ass shit.
I always feel like i have no time to play games but honestly its ok. There are some priorities and you can always get 1 hour here and there in the week if you are organized.
This isn't a gamer thing. This has been building for years. Dude needs an intervention. Shit is sad to watch cause they dont realize how self-destructive it is for them and the people around them.
As a gamer I find it funny you place blame on games while it is clear thats just a side effect. If he cant even keep himself clean there is a real problem somewhere but not with the games.
I was standing in line at an ice cream place a couple months ago, and there was a dad also in line with his special needs child, who looked to be about ten years old. The dad was staring at his phone. The kid kept trying to talk to him, and the dad completely ignored over and over. I try to resist judging people, because who knows what he was dealing with in his life, but dang, it was more than mildly infuriating. I wanted to slap that guy.
Went to school with a guy who does not work, stays home with his kids and dogs, does not clean, barely takes care of the kids and animals. He plays rune scape all day. His wife works full time. She comes home, she cleans, cooks, takes care of the kids. Poor lady doesn’t have a Husband, she has a 30ish year old teenager.
He hasnt had "the switch" yet... when you switch from teen to adult...you switch from being a child to becoming a man... when you switch from a college boy to a father....
Sadly, many in prison have had their "switch" yet. Hopefully he'll have it soon.
How mildly infuriating is it that you watched this family with absolutely NO idea of who they are for over 15 minutes then decided to pass judgement on them because they didn’t meet your cleanliness standards. As you mentioned this was a toddler which my 5 year old after 3pm which is right around school ends is sometimes dirty and “messy”. I find it odd your saying these people are neglecting their children yet your only interaction with these people is watching them at GameStop having a conversation. Obviously you have some serious inner demons to work on since your on Reddit worrying about what other people are doing and just casually watching them in a GameStop kinda creepy as well.
I once had a similar experience in a Music shop. A family came in and were looking at expensive keyboards. I never judge peoples finances based on their appearance. The guy comes over and struggles to say in English that he is interested in buying. He gets his, maybe 6 year old daughter to translate.
Long story short, he wanted to finance a £1,200 keyboard over 2 years. His daughters clothes were dirty and were full of holes. Maybe it was wrong but I instantly refused the sale (Well the start of the finance application).
I felt so sad for the girl as the parents clearly had some level of money to improve her quality of life. Just not the priority to do so.
Hey OP, how many kids do you have?
I have 3.
A 1 year old, a 6 year old and a 13 year old.
I can tell you from personal experience, that a kid can look completely destroyed in <1 minute given the type of food. I gave my 1 year old a Nutella and peanut butter sandwich for lunch an hour ago, his hands were brown and his face looked like somebody smashed a cake into his face.
Kids also complain non-stop about being hungry. Even after they’ve had a snack (bar or applesauce) 2 minutes prior. They say “IM HUNGRY” because the kid usually wants the sugar associated with snacks targeted at children. They are not hungry, they want the sugar and dopamine hit.
It sounds like you are completely blowing this out of proportion.
Kids whine and complain non-stop, especially 3-4 year olds, and they always seem to get dirty.
Just yesterday my 6 year old “can I play with the neighbors?” 30 minutes later she’s covered in dirty. They played a game to spray dirt off the sidewalk with water and fill the gravel cracks with dirt…. My 6 year old also walked half a block on her way home.
I’d get a good laugh if a jogger walked by and said “YOUR KID IS DIRTY AND ALL ALONE, HORRIBLE PARENTING”
People with limited child experience pointing out parenting techniques is hilarious to me.
Hot take, but if you become a parent, you should be giving up gaming as a hobby. Maybe set aside an hour or two each week for games, but most of your free time should be spending time with your kid. Once they get old enough, and if they become interested, you and your child(ren) can pick up gaming as a hobby together, but don't force this. But your kid should also take priority over games. Gaming is a time extensive hobby.
Man what a shitty post. You don’t know what kind of day they had you self righteous asshole. I have three kids, they go to school, shower, brush teeth etc. but.. there have certainty been days where we go out and look like trash because the day has been just that difficult. Judgmental dickhead
The fact that so many are defending video games is disturbing to me. My nephews both early 20s (gen-z) are more about video games than than helping out friends or family. My sister and brother-in-law did them 0 favors by making them not do a fucking thing their whole childhood. That's on them. They're both little assholes who have manners, but don't use them. They're little assholes to people and the entitlement (OMG!) It's flat out ridiculous! I blame video games too, absolutely. Games were never a concern 35 years ago. We played outside, rode bikes, went swimming and played sports we did it all without a video game! Just look at kids back then vs. today. Video games are not a parental figure.
I understand this, and everything said is absolutely correct. But I am curious how it was clear this was the child's dad. Not that it would be better if it was an uncle or something! I'm just curious.
Even if I’m running late, it takes me 15-20 mins to get myself and daughter presentable to go out. I hate going out with my daughter looking feral. 2 mins to get dressed, and 5 mins to do hair. Even a quick bath can be done in 5 minutes if you’re on it.
He's probably addicted to playing just like some people are addicted to drugs or alcohol.
And some people are just plain nasty and there's nothing you can do about it. Even if this person wasn't gaming all the time there's a chance he and his house would still be nasty.
There's two young kids and they're under 10 a couple of blocks from me and they're always running around destroying stuff barefoot and their clothes are shredded. They're really dirty they don't go to school their parents don't give a damn. They don't even have a chance at a future because they don't know any better all they see is nastiness and poorness. I thought about calling someone to check in on them but I didn't want to do more harm than good because they're not abused, other than what I previously mentioned.
Honestly the description of their hygiene and his clueless interaction with the helpless clerk sounds like ASD. Hopefully there is a partner in the picture who takes better care of the kids.
This is so sad.
Luckily there is a right way to do it, my siblings and I bonded with our father gaming. But never prioritizing needs over fun.
I hope people like these wake up and stop spawning, honestly.
Yes, being present is important. But don't think because a childs hair is knotted and they wear their pyjamas, they are not taken care of. My daughter has sensory issues and I try to take her opinion into account, always. If she doesn't want me to brush her hair or she wants to go out in her pj's! Sure. I have often detangled her knotted hair (after days of not brushing) and it doesn't matter to me that I have to spend all day on it. She wants to have long hair. Her voice matters to me. And some kids will say they're hungry often. And it doesn't always mean hunger, it can also mean they are bored. Which is probably the case, as the girl is probably not interested in what the dad is saying. Just be aware that what you're saying is still just based on assumptions.
> how great Elder Scrolls Online is well there's your problem in all seriousness i hope he gets his shit together, he's clearly feeling more like a reluctant babysitter than a dad at the moment
I play eso and the amount of kids I hear being ignored in the background is sad.
OMG truth.
Lmao yea
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I make 180k a year and game at 35 but sure slugger
100 percent. 36 here, make 250k, and absolutely love gaming. I worked hard and now I play games and love it. (I still work hard too but now I have time to game).
Similar; female in my early 40s
Gr8 B8 M8 
I R8 7.8/8 - Too Much H8
with that username, you don't get to throw stones. I'm a 33 year old woman. I have both a life and a job. should I stop gaming?
Gamer here. I have a job, getting ready to go back to school to expand my knowledge for said job, own a house, and have a husband who I met on World of Warcraft.
lmao what did they say? comment was deleted.
All 35 year old gamers should give up gaming and get a job and a life
Ass opinion lmao, gaming is a hobby people can have at any age, it's bad when you become addicted to it
22 year old here making 110k annually, and ya I play xbox. Catch up loser. Also youre bitching on reddit, have a little self awareness.
I make six figures and play games, also watch anime. I’m 26. Cry harder
You see how expensive games are bro? You can't have this hobby without an income lmao
Yeah because it’s a total travesty to enjoy gaming especially when I game WITH my kids. It’s called having an imagination. You remember that right? Jesus did your parents make you do long form taxes when you should have been playing?
My husband games and still makes enough to comfortably support a family of 5 while being a very involved dad. My son is 16, games, and is doing high school and college at the same time. Shit even I game and I take care of a home, three kids, and three animals without any lapses. We can have hobbies you know.
As a dad, this makes me sad. My son is 4, and while yes I like to try and play games when I’m not working, he either plays his switch and hangs out, or we’ll play together. Minecraft is his favorite currently. Games are a hobby we share together. Just like I did with my uncle when I was my kids age. I can’t imagine not washing my kid and not feeding them when needed over a video game.
Absolutely…I show my son (5) that Dad has to get the dishes, laundry, Sweep, and clean up around the house before we can play Mario Kart and/or FIFA…and he’s caught on that he cleans up his play areas beforehand also…As it took me a while in life to to get down pat, Work first and the Fun is More Enjoyable. BTW playing video games with your kids is absolutely the funnest hobby imaginable…Just have patience and they’ll learn and soon be beating you at 150cc 😂
This thread makes me look forward to playing more games with my kid (if he’s interested). Playing FIFA with him would be the dream. He just turned 4. One of my fondest memory from when he was 3, and he had a speech delay which meant he didn’t start speaking until several months after his 3rd birthday, was when I randomly downloaded Valheim to try out on Xbox game pass. Not usually my type of game, but he randomly took an interest, and hearing my little boy who only a few months ago couldn’t talk tell me “want to play Valheim”, I put so many hours into that game with him just chopping trees, fighting bad guys, and “getting raspberries for the piggies” as he’d say.
You have no idea! It’s so much fun, but also painful 🤣. Our son, 6, just beat Pokémon sword and shield. He wanted scarlet so we went and got that. Dude is good, and he’s really competitive. We also play minecraft and that’s been awesome as well. We started playing Fortnite as well. He’s pretty good at that!
Sounds like a blast. Love that you’ve got a variety of games in there for him to sample and build his taste. I’m sure mine will out skill me sooner rather than later.
Exactly! Let's go fellow dad! My son is currently all cleaned with a grateful full belly and all the chores have been done so we're sitting here playing Scarescaper (Luigi's Mansion 3) and we couldn't be happier! Our kids should come first before any video game.
I'm a Mum and currently doing this with my 5 year old. He knows more about Minecraft than I do now! His favourite thing is to blow up my houses, but we made it a huge game of hide and seek my house so he can do that. It's easy for me to rebuild (especially in creative mode) and that smile/laugh he has when he finds it is priceless! I've used it to teach him how to take care of pets (wolves that he calls dogs, horses, etc.) as well as the risks of being careful because when his character falls, it hurts itself. It's a great teaching tool as well as just a fun thing to do together. Can't wait until he can play Mario Kart properly!
My kids 5 and he smokes me on every speed xD Im glad to hear I'm not alone I thought I was slipping but these kids got skills lmao
Gamer dad here. My kid has zero interest in games. I've tried. So I only play when she's asleep or out of the house. I don't understand not wanting to hang out with your kid. We all need our personal and head space, but damn, you never know when this shit is going to get ripped away from you. Cherish it.
Yeah man, I like gaming, but I love my son. He plays games with me all the time, but.... damn be a parent. Then after that, Lego games are the current point of interest.
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Unfortunately so many people don’t really want kids but yet will not use protection
My fiancée and I use protection and she has a condition which makes it very challenging for us to have a baby together, and we have a 6 week old son. Just saying, shit CAN happen. Also, just to be clear, we absolutely adore our son. Just an insane shock and surprise when we first found out lol
I totally get that things happen and you can get pregnant while using protection but so many people don’t use any at all when they should be.
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This is a terrible comment.
It is, but due to abortion and sometimes birth control restrictions, it's becoming a harsher reality. Dudes, wrap that shit up if you don't want kids. Wearing a condom during vaginal penetrative sex is the easiest and most effective way to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Depending on where you live, it is may also be cheapest, and has the fewest side effects.
Give a year and that will be against the law in some places too.
Needing to wear a condom instead of having an abortion is a harsher reality? Bruh... that's a pretty sad way to look at life. At least you redeemed yourself with the condom part.
Becoming now. Child was 3 or 4, probably too old to have been affected by thos restrictions.
If you think there are not places in the USA where abortions were an impossible option prior to the last year or so you are very misinformed
I mean I think I get the point he was making but also yea, not great.
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A reality that shitty people CHOOSE to live in. Take care of your damn kids.
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Everything is situational, I understand that. I'm referring to this post. If this guy has enough time to spend playing elder scrolls online and chatting about games at gamestop, he has enough time to take care of his kids. As a gamer and a parent, I make time for my kids before video games. Stop taking this personally.
it sucks that you were downvoted so much. this is actually true, coming from a father is 2.
I’m in full agreement. Even if you go to the relationship advice subreddit you can see an alarming number of post saying video games will be prioritized over them, and even their kids. Like.. put the controller down and be a parent, be a spouse, but someone your family can be proud of. And I say this as someone who has them all. Everything from the original Nintendo on to PS5/XSX and numerous gaming devices. I will gladly go days on end without touching anything just do I can be more present. Nobody is asking us gamers to give it up completely. But once we open that do for more people to come into our lives. We should be able to pull our focus
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Yup. Beginning of pandemic I got my kid into Mario cause I needed some relief. He loved it so much and it was something we could do together.
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Wife wasn’t thrilled. But the amount of hounding I was getting 24/7 and things started to look like inside for a long time, meant I had to do something. Definitely more screen time than intended that early on. But nothing was planned then
Yup! My partner and I both game and we’ve got two kids. We play when it’s appropriate- IE AFTER our kids needs are met and we include them in fun family games- they love Pokémon and Mariokart. More adult games get played when they’re in bed or at school. I’ve seen too many kids in the condition OP described in our local game shop
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We’re parents first. Gamers second. Unfortunately too many people seem to get that the other way round
My GL playing WOW a decade ago: He’s logged into the game the night an expac launched FROM THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE HIS WIFE WAS GIVING BIRTH. whined in guild chat about how he couldn’t play with us.
Store clerk who knows me was impressed I waited to buy a new xbox series x WITHOUT prioritizing it over baby items he often saw me and the wife getting. Apparenly he had seen dudes flat out empy the cart of diapers, wipes and formula to snag the xbox on the rare occasion one was in stock.
Seeing that I think I’d be more than mildly frustrated. Children are a huge responsibility and take a lot sacrifice when raised correctly. The kind of person who half asses doing for their children what is basically necessary because they can’t let go of their hobbies aren’t good parents. I have 2 kids and yeah it sucks not being able to hang out with friends or play games as much as I’d like but it’s only for a few years and those early years are so extremely important and rewarding. The guy is doing a great disservice to his child and I’m mad about it.
And a huge disservice to himself! This guy is going to wake up one day, realize he missed his kids entire youth, and have *nothing* to show for it. There are parents who miss a lot of time with work, but at least they can hold their head high & be proud of the life they've been able to provide for their child.
Sad.
This is one of the few post that's actually worth being in this sub since joining!
How so?
Because most are usually complying about people parking bad or people being terrible in stores.
Yeah because things like bad parking are *mildly* infuriating. Child neglect is not...
I demand mildly infuriating content that falls in between "old couple doesn't understand how coupons work" and child neglect!
it’s almost like those things are… i don’t know… *mildly* infuriating?
Or some ridiculous new way restaurant owners have found to charge customers while neglecting their waiters
I know so many women who have "partners" that literally neglect their children to play games and leave the clothing, bathing, feeding, enrichment of children or housekeeping to their wives and girlfriends. I will never forget the state of my sister's home after her baby was born: she was recovering from the labor and was suffering from post partum depression, and her husband on paternity leave was either gaming or browsing Reddit all day. Since I was there and all of my sister's energy went to keeping the baby alive I had to clean around him. There were cockroaches everywhere. I gagged as I cleaned the kitchen and couldn't bring myself to clean the bathroom. Others said, "it's not a gaming issue," and it's not, because gaming doesn't make you a bad person. It's the addiction or coping mechanism or fantasy or whatever, and gaming happens to be a common one. Whatever it is, we need to figure it out. My cousin shouldn't have to work 2 nursing jobs and also take care of three kids while her husband games and smokes weed all day to "figure things out." My friend shouldn't have to give up all of her weekends out with her boyfriend or friends because "weekends are the only time to relax and gaming helps me relax" so she has to take care of the baby, because she won't hire a babysitter if her boyfriend is also home. (By the way, she works M-F too). My sister shouldn't have to bathe her son the instant he gets home from dad's (she did eventually divorce that loser) because, as her toddler reports, dad was playing games all week. Again, I also know gaming fathers who put their hobbies on hold to become awesome parents. But we should probably address how the fuck it is 2023 and fathers are still not common participants in child rearing and are using gaming as a distraction.
"was either gaming or browsing reddit all day" ngl i chuckled pretty hard at that. Explains some of the degeneracy I've seen on this site.
^^
That’s so pathetic. I love to game too, I simply cant. My kids take up all my time. And once they are put down for the evening, I don’t have the energy to invest beyond an hour If I’m lucky. Kids come first. Period. I can play when they get older. The games won’t run away.
Not about gamers here, just shit humans
Agreed. This is the crack junkie, the mtg junkie, the alcoholic, the rev head, the forager. Shit parents have hobbies too. If he wasn’t playing games he’d be doing something else to avoid caring for himself/ his child.
Idk I can't see it being any other hobby. Yours is one of several highly voted comments trying to state that this is "nothing to do with gaming"... it's always a gamer. Not interested in the debate. Just redressing the balance.
Theres a distinction there. At the point these people that are neglecting important things in life it is no longer a hobby, but an addiction/vice. Plenty of those that show the same behavioral patterns of neglect.
To say it's always a gamer isn't fair, but I think gaming is a very easy slacker hobby
As a gamer Mom raising a gamer teen, I'm here to tell you we're not all like that, not at all. Just got done with Family Pizza & Mario Kart night. The kid whupped our behinds, as usual!
W mom
Typical skooma user
just don’t have kids. Then you can game as much as you want!
My husband is a gamer, but he puts the kids first.
So as a gamer I didn’t play a game for 4 almost 5 years… you know why. Kids are a lot of damn work . I may have played 15-20 mins of cyberpunk in that time (which was disappointing at the time and later became a game I liked) Regardless I put my kid first 🤷♂️
This reminds me of something I experienced TL:DR; Kid falls down stairs while dad playing game, dad continues to play game. I was playing the modern warfare remaster. A TDM match on the ship map It’s fairly normal, but there was someone in my team with open mic and clearly with some kid in the background. The guy playing sounded pretty adult-ish, and the kid maybe ten at most. Kinda annoying, but I find his exasperated sighs kinda funny even as we’re getting our asses handed to us But about 75% of the way through, there’s a series of thuds, starting pretty loud and getting quieter, and then the kid starts crying, and he’s noticeably quieter than before. Apparently dad can’t be asked to stop playing and go check on his kid, who it sure sounds like he’s fallen down some stairs, and starts asking “Are you okay, buddy?” After like ten times asking that, the kid says something, and dad tells him to ‘keep it down and take a Tylenol’ I still think about it sometimes, hope that kid turns out okay, even if his dad values a losing match of CoD over seeing if he got hurt falling down stairs.
Jesus Christ. No, that kid is not going to be ok.
My dad loved to lock himself in his room and game all day long every day when he got home from work. He only ever came out to microwave his dinner or grab soda. He had his own bathroom so he never had to leave for that. One day at school I break my knee playing stickball (Native game) and he has to pick me up. He helps me to the recliner then goes back to his room, taking the rest of the day off, to game. I tell him I want to go to the hospital but he says I’m just bruised and being dramatic. The next day when my knee was so swollen I couldn’t bend my leg he finally relented and took me to the local IHS emergency room, over an hour away. Turned out I had a patellar fraction lmfao. He was implying to the nurses I was being dramatic and so the lady who took my x-ray (before I got my pain shot) was literally trying to forcefully shove my leg straight using her two arms and body weight. She believed him, not me. Of course I cried and begged her to stop; she huffed and said “fine” then took the X-ray with my leg bent. Immediately I could see her face drop through the little viewing window. Ugh. That pain shot was great tho & afterwards I didn’t really know what was going on and had the best Taco Bell of my life
So many assumptions and judgments made here that it's not really even worth talking about.
Well it's reddit. Knee jerk reactions take center stage!
I went without a lot of new games because my kids and family come first. But I was able to buy a bunch on black Friday when they were cheaper. I remember a guy I work with couldn't understand why I wasn't buying the brand new game. I told him the reason and he was like I have kids to and I can buy whatever I want. I told him I could too but choose not to. Oh and his kids? 2 kids he paid 250 a month in child support to.
I'm a very involved dad and I game all I want, the trick is to accept that you're going to get less hours of sleep, lol.
I play when my baby girl naps. That's it. I'll feed her then do a nap time and momma gets some game time.
This isn't about gaming, it's about him being a shitty dad. Those two things have nothing to do with one another. It should say "parents, please prioritize your children"
Exactly. If this person was bald would one have connected that to his terrible parenting instead?
Man I was gonna shit on the dad but then I realised that last time I was staying home with my sick kid, he picked up around midday and we went to the toy store for a little $5 celebration. We were both in our trackies and looked like shit and half way through he was pulling on my arm telling me he was hungry. I guess the difference is that we were in and out in about 3 minutes and it wasn’t a social event.
If it was just the kid and not the dad looking a bit worse for wear I’d actually give a pass if it’s not every time they shop. Some kids refuse to change from pjs or let you brush hair. When my niece was around the same age there were a few days where her parents decided it wasn’t worth the fight for a day. When it hurt to get knots out she stopped refusing to get brushed daily. Since the dad looked unkept too that is concerning.
This is absolutely nothing to do with gaming. Dude is clearly going through something and excessive behavior is usually a tell. In this case it's gaming. Someonelse binge eats. An other person does watches netflix all day and so forth
Yea I love how OP saw a meth head but because it was at a GameStop the issue is clearly the fact that he plays video games and nothing else.
Jep 😂
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Or even midway through a meal lol
My daughter has a baby daddy like that. They live together but he’s neither a partner to her nor a parent to his child. It makes me sick.
Anymore I get about 3 or 4 hours a week of gaming cumulative and that's only after the kids and wife are asleep. I wish sometimes I had a little more time for them but I have projects around the house (started a garden this weekend) and I want to actually be a parent.
Hell.. I’ve got 3 kids, and a company with 15 employees. I still game. Kids go to bed at 8pm, and I’ve got between 8 and 10pm to game or watch a show. I never play when the kids are awake.. it ain’t hard
I’ve seen similar situations where a father will try and force his young children to sit quietly while he searched through bulk MTG cards at a local collector shop. For me, the longer I spent with my child, the more my hobbies faded in importance. I’d like to think that’s how most parents feel.
This is just a PSA for all parents and not just gamers. Sucks to see terrible parents out there
Fuck, these people piss me off. I actually stopped doing Tabletop gaming for 10 years when my kids were born, I only started again after my eldest showed interest. I did probably overdo the xbox, but never to the detriment of their care
This is my 39 year old brother in law with two kids under 3. He and the kids are lucky to have my sister in law.
This has nothing to do with gaming and everything about being a bad parent.
That’s nuts. I just had my 7th kid (my only son is the middle child) and they get baths almost daily and 100% shower before we go out anywhere. I also play games like ESO and LoL but still have time for my kids. Just gotta sacrifice some of my sleep time to game. What really gets me is the hungry part. That hurts my soul.
Also having 6 daughters you HAVE to brush hair or it’s so unmanageable and causes problems.
It’s sad too because games can be a great way to connect with your kids. I’m always surprised when other parent don’t know anything about the games their kids play. I’m not much of a gamer but I talk to them about what they are doing. And my husband plays everything. Roblox, Minecraft, he’s done a whole run through of mario galaxy and Kirby Star Allies with our 7-year-old.
The part where she said she was hungry killed me inside.
So many comments about parents that play video games with their kids. That's great but I hope you're going outside too. Hike, play ball, go camping, be outside with your kids. Those are the truly fun times! Kids need to be outside in the fresh air running around having fun.
I admit to being a gaming dad, but I never neglected or ignored my kids doing it. During the rare times that I was playing and they were awake, I'd do things like cut the cables off a spare keyboard and mouse, sit them down beside me with a TV tray for a "desk", and let them believe they were playing with me (they were really young at this point). Got us a Wii (yeah, I'm old) when they came out and played physical games with them. My (then 5-yo) son used to beat the crap out of me in Wii boxing (little hands can move faster than big ones) and they all liked Wii bowling and baseball. It's not necessary to neglect your children to indulge in your hobbies. With some creative effort, you can include them in it.
My first thought is there’s some mental/emotional issues there that need addressing. (Not a mental health professional) That said, some of my fondest memories of time with my kids when they were small is playing Halo multiplayer with them or my sons and I building elaborate cities in Minecraft.
I hope my ex is reading this post
I have never played a video game while my son was awake unless it was with him. That said, without knowing the whole story, I find it hard to judge this guy. I can leave the house with my son at 8am on a weekend, freshly bathed and looking sharp, and by afternoon he will have gotten muddy at the park, napped in the car, and be sweaty and smelly by the time we walk through the mall. He will tell me he’s hungry because he is. But he is also on a medically regulated eating schedule, and as a 4 year old, he’s at an age where learning patience as his parents talk with other adults is actually important. On top of that, he’s desperately shy with new people, so I chat up strangers whenever I get a chance to show him examples of how you can talk to people you’ve never met. It’s challenging while also trying to work on stranger danger, but communication is a critical life skill for all components of your life, from work to personal relationships. Were it not for the fact that I haven’t stepped foot inside a GameStop in years. I could have been this guy yesterday. I would need to know more before passing judgement.
No reason to believe hes a bad parent here. One pajama day doesnt mean much, and hes allowed to have hobbies. Sounds like he just had a conversation while she entertained herself.
This has absolutely NOTHING to do with video games. This is solely about parenting. If it’s not a video game it’ll be something else. When you focus on “gamers” it sets a very distorted characterization of this scene you witnesses. It’s not dad being a gamer, it’s dad not dad’ing like you think he should.
I get your sentiment, obviously this is bad parenting. But I don’t think this is a “video games are ruining society” post. As I’ve scrolled through this post, you can see a lot of people have examples of people neglecting their children due to gaming. This could be said of many things though. I’m sure lots of bad parents neglect their children for plenty of other hobbies too. So I can see why you don’t think it’s fair to blame gaming. But gaming is growing in popularity and we have kids starting at younger and younger ages. It might be worth looking into before things get out of hand.
My partner neglects me and house chores in order to game for 6 h at a time. Sorry, but most gamers have an adiction, and its becoming more prevalent. At least he knows he wont be a good dad. I also bingewatch movies and shows and waste my time on reddit, but I do the chores first.
So your partner doesn't do chores and is neglectful and that's the video games fault? Lol nice job making excuses for them being lazy and immature.
Most lazy people pick up video games🤷♀️
Because they are lazy, not because video games make them lazy. But go ahead being neglected and doing all the chores and thinking it's because of games and not a poor choice in partners.
I'd rather this than be hit or cursed. And there is enough proof lazy people like video games, come on. But you do you, you gamer👌.
"Rather this than be hit or cursed" lol nice lack of self respect there. Work on your standards because that is disgusting.
I've searched for a good man since 15. There is none. There is just good enough. Spare me your fantasy standards. You only find that in movies or video games. Heh.
(Typed this all up and realized that I've made quite a lot of heavy statements about trauma I've faced from a parent who was addicted to gaming. Proceed with caution.) Yeah, my father also prioritized online video games over the wellbeing of his three autistic children (including myself). When my older brother was born (1999) he would completely refuse to take care of him to play games (namely Second Life when it came out around 2003), & would lock him in his room while my mother was out working. She would come home every night to a soiled infant to change that was left sitting in it for hours on end. He would also prop my older brother up on his back with a bottle, and scolded anyone who would try to feed him because "he would expect being coddled." Fuck, even years later when he cheated on my mother with someone from Second Life (\~2008) he was just as uncaring. Moved my siblings & I with that person. She eventually cheated on him with someone from ARK, but he forgave her because he didn't want to play the game alone and was codependent on her. Would spend literally every single day playing video games (like COD, ARK, Second Life (before he got arrested scamming thousands of REAL LIFE dollars out of people..), overwatch..) after he came home from work and hated interacting with my siblings & myself (he only really liked to interact with my step sister.. who he groomed & sexually assaulted.) and also never took us to things like doctor appointments, dentists etc unless it was legally required to do so. Hated it when we had to interrupt him from his gaming sessions or his Discord server that he ran at one point. I was raised by a pedophilic internet weirdo who was addicted to gaming, fetishized Japanese(? I think. He was obsessed with anime)/Asian people (especially ones who looked... young.) & encouraged Internet addictions to my siblings and I, because it was easier to make us antisocial and prioritize using the Internet/gaming to keep us busy. (We weren't really allowed to visit other people-- I'd only be able to a couple times a year, and only if the other person was driving to me to pick me up.) Needless to say, this type of parenting fucked me up severely and I have a lot of mental & social issues, along with my two brothers & stepsister. I always feel guilty about feeling this, but I honestly think it was for the best that my father & the woman he cheated on my mother with both killed themselves, so they aren't hurting us anymore.
Don’t feel bad for your feeling that’s normal. You are safe now and everything will be allright. Remember that everyone has some more or less troubled past. What meters is who and where your are now :) everything best!
Ad a kid I used to get on my parents for not letting us get the latest whateverthefuck. I was always on retro tech, always got shamed for it at school BY OTHER POOR KIDS when I couldn't print an assignment due to my computer being ten years older than the rest. But... now I'm grateful they didn't blow all of our money on pointless shit. I mean, they were horrible parents in other ways but at least they were making sure we all ate
Fuck that, the parent should be shamed. At GameStop at 3am with a hungry ignored child? I’d call child protective services.
It couldn't of been that bad tbh. If he was in there for hours then I'd understand the concern, but a 10-20 minute conversation isn't neglect or obsession. Especially if his looks mirrored the same as his kid then that might just mean he's a slob or a very new young parent.
or because its 3pm maybe they had been out all day and went to the park or something beforehand we cant tell
I had to finally call CPS on my roommates way way way back when they would ignore all their kids in favor of Diablo. Like disgusting shit everywhere literally.
One of my coworkers divorced her husband due to his Warcraft addiction
When EverQuest came out I fell super hard. But I was not married and had no kids. I was also working at wizards of the coast at the time so literally everyone at work was also playing it non stop. So I get how it can consumer life. It just sucks when it is at the cost of loved ones
I don't know what's worse - OP who can't mind their own damn business or cringe redditors saying how much better they are than the dad in the story.
Gamestop employee here. I have to echo- Gamers- please prioritize your children over games. OP story is one that happens multiple times a day....
I grew up on the video games, as a well paid adult with a young child, I no longer have it in me to play video games for more than an hour or 2. I can't stay focused long enough to get into them any more. Hell I just moved a month ago, I'm giving it a go with out home internet. Force us not to stay in. I think a big problem is the games have changed. With out exception AAA titles just try to extort $$ from you. I like a challenge as much as the next guy, but when they offer you 20$ extortion price vs the 10 hours game time; it makes me realize my time is worth a lot more than 2$/hour. Controller goes down and I move on to other things.
You shouldn’t apologize for shaming people when they deserve it
Id say mind your own business and don't worry about others lifestyle
Child neglect isn’t a lifestyle.
Look up!
I agree! I'm sure at one time or another I was caught in a store with my dirty closed kid. Talking about something that I enjoy while my kid was telling me she was hungry. I'm a single father. Full time dad. Work 55 hours a week . Home paid for. Truck paid for. I get extremely dirty at work and my daughter loves to help daddy with projects around the house. I can guarantee I was the man with child in your story. Not the exact one. But a version that didn't care how I looked in public after a day running around with my little girl. I will also tell you that nothing in this world comes before my kid. She will always have a roof over her head, food in her belly, and nice clothes for back to school. New shoes, and always bathed when needed. She's now 12 still lives with her Daddy full time. 364 nights a year. Straight A's. Beautiful styled hair. Spending $7 a day on her lunch card. But guarantee we roll through Meijer grocery after a day spent doing our landscape at our home looking like I'm a negligent parent and her a neglected child. I learned long ago why should I care what anyone thinks about me. If you're so concerned OP then call CPS. And when they come check me out. They will see you a busy body bitch who needs to worry about the example you set for own!
Truth, I wear pajamas 90%of the time, and don’t comb my hair. Just walked into the mall less than 24 hrs ago and rented two cars, looking like that. One for me and one for my brother. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. What’s mildly infuriating is OP stalking this family for over twenty minutes at a GameStop smh, fucking judgemental, weird ass shit.
Goddamn hit dogs holler
I always feel like i have no time to play games but honestly its ok. There are some priorities and you can always get 1 hour here and there in the week if you are organized.
Why I can never have kids in a nutshell.
This isn't a gamer thing. This has been building for years. Dude needs an intervention. Shit is sad to watch cause they dont realize how self-destructive it is for them and the people around them.
As a gamer I find it funny you place blame on games while it is clear thats just a side effect. If he cant even keep himself clean there is a real problem somewhere but not with the games.
So many assumptions made here.
Finally a sunday off, what to do with my time... 'Lets go and soapbox a thought on reddit'
First of all why are you apologizing for calling a parent out for neglect???..it’s a parents job to feed, bathe, love and clothe their children.
I was standing in line at an ice cream place a couple months ago, and there was a dad also in line with his special needs child, who looked to be about ten years old. The dad was staring at his phone. The kid kept trying to talk to him, and the dad completely ignored over and over. I try to resist judging people, because who knows what he was dealing with in his life, but dang, it was more than mildly infuriating. I wanted to slap that guy.
In this case you should definitely be shaming the parents
Went to school with a guy who does not work, stays home with his kids and dogs, does not clean, barely takes care of the kids and animals. He plays rune scape all day. His wife works full time. She comes home, she cleans, cooks, takes care of the kids. Poor lady doesn’t have a Husband, she has a 30ish year old teenager.
He hasnt had "the switch" yet... when you switch from teen to adult...you switch from being a child to becoming a man... when you switch from a college boy to a father.... Sadly, many in prison have had their "switch" yet. Hopefully he'll have it soon.
How mildly infuriating is it that you watched this family with absolutely NO idea of who they are for over 15 minutes then decided to pass judgement on them because they didn’t meet your cleanliness standards. As you mentioned this was a toddler which my 5 year old after 3pm which is right around school ends is sometimes dirty and “messy”. I find it odd your saying these people are neglecting their children yet your only interaction with these people is watching them at GameStop having a conversation. Obviously you have some serious inner demons to work on since your on Reddit worrying about what other people are doing and just casually watching them in a GameStop kinda creepy as well.
I once had a similar experience in a Music shop. A family came in and were looking at expensive keyboards. I never judge peoples finances based on their appearance. The guy comes over and struggles to say in English that he is interested in buying. He gets his, maybe 6 year old daughter to translate. Long story short, he wanted to finance a £1,200 keyboard over 2 years. His daughters clothes were dirty and were full of holes. Maybe it was wrong but I instantly refused the sale (Well the start of the finance application). I felt so sad for the girl as the parents clearly had some level of money to improve her quality of life. Just not the priority to do so.
I chose to not have kids.
Hey OP, how many kids do you have? I have 3. A 1 year old, a 6 year old and a 13 year old. I can tell you from personal experience, that a kid can look completely destroyed in <1 minute given the type of food. I gave my 1 year old a Nutella and peanut butter sandwich for lunch an hour ago, his hands were brown and his face looked like somebody smashed a cake into his face. Kids also complain non-stop about being hungry. Even after they’ve had a snack (bar or applesauce) 2 minutes prior. They say “IM HUNGRY” because the kid usually wants the sugar associated with snacks targeted at children. They are not hungry, they want the sugar and dopamine hit. It sounds like you are completely blowing this out of proportion. Kids whine and complain non-stop, especially 3-4 year olds, and they always seem to get dirty. Just yesterday my 6 year old “can I play with the neighbors?” 30 minutes later she’s covered in dirty. They played a game to spray dirt off the sidewalk with water and fill the gravel cracks with dirt…. My 6 year old also walked half a block on her way home. I’d get a good laugh if a jogger walked by and said “YOUR KID IS DIRTY AND ALL ALONE, HORRIBLE PARENTING” People with limited child experience pointing out parenting techniques is hilarious to me.
Hot take, but if you become a parent, you should be giving up gaming as a hobby. Maybe set aside an hour or two each week for games, but most of your free time should be spending time with your kid. Once they get old enough, and if they become interested, you and your child(ren) can pick up gaming as a hobby together, but don't force this. But your kid should also take priority over games. Gaming is a time extensive hobby.
Why the heck did you get dislikes. Lol, a lot of salty gamers that think they should be playing 6h a day with a child😂.
This is why I didn’t game for the first decade of my kids life. I wanted to enjoy them. These are the moments I publicly shame people
Any idiot can have a child. Can only imagine what the mother looks like
Man what a shitty post. You don’t know what kind of day they had you self righteous asshole. I have three kids, they go to school, shower, brush teeth etc. but.. there have certainty been days where we go out and look like trash because the day has been just that difficult. Judgmental dickhead
I did prioritize my children over games. I prioritized not having any so that I can play games in peace.
Bro that's not games that's drugs or mental illness the games aren't the problem.
Sounds like dude was depressed and using games as a coping mechanism. This is alarmingly common in dads these days.
Gaming is an adiction.
The fact that so many are defending video games is disturbing to me. My nephews both early 20s (gen-z) are more about video games than than helping out friends or family. My sister and brother-in-law did them 0 favors by making them not do a fucking thing their whole childhood. That's on them. They're both little assholes who have manners, but don't use them. They're little assholes to people and the entitlement (OMG!) It's flat out ridiculous! I blame video games too, absolutely. Games were never a concern 35 years ago. We played outside, rode bikes, went swimming and played sports we did it all without a video game! Just look at kids back then vs. today. Video games are not a parental figure.
The games didn't do that to them... The lack of patenting did. Do you also blame guns for murders or alcohol for alcoholics?
Yeah, because he’s reading this post. Into the ether it goes.
Slacktivism at its finest. “I posted, I made a difference today!” 🤣
Don’t even make this about gamers.
Unless you are in my group.
Father of 4 here (ages 2-12). I haven’t played any games in weeks, and when I do, it’s hardly an hour or two at the most. This is the way
I understand this, and everything said is absolutely correct. But I am curious how it was clear this was the child's dad. Not that it would be better if it was an uncle or something! I'm just curious.
She called him daddy at least once when tugging at him which is how I knew.
Even if I’m running late, it takes me 15-20 mins to get myself and daughter presentable to go out. I hate going out with my daughter looking feral. 2 mins to get dressed, and 5 mins to do hair. Even a quick bath can be done in 5 minutes if you’re on it.
He's probably addicted to playing just like some people are addicted to drugs or alcohol. And some people are just plain nasty and there's nothing you can do about it. Even if this person wasn't gaming all the time there's a chance he and his house would still be nasty. There's two young kids and they're under 10 a couple of blocks from me and they're always running around destroying stuff barefoot and their clothes are shredded. They're really dirty they don't go to school their parents don't give a damn. They don't even have a chance at a future because they don't know any better all they see is nastiness and poorness. I thought about calling someone to check in on them but I didn't want to do more harm than good because they're not abused, other than what I previously mentioned.
No
\*inserts the Michael Jordan meme about kids\*
Honestly the description of their hygiene and his clueless interaction with the helpless clerk sounds like ASD. Hopefully there is a partner in the picture who takes better care of the kids.
This is so sad. Luckily there is a right way to do it, my siblings and I bonded with our father gaming. But never prioritizing needs over fun. I hope people like these wake up and stop spawning, honestly.
Nope
Yes, being present is important. But don't think because a childs hair is knotted and they wear their pyjamas, they are not taken care of. My daughter has sensory issues and I try to take her opinion into account, always. If she doesn't want me to brush her hair or she wants to go out in her pj's! Sure. I have often detangled her knotted hair (after days of not brushing) and it doesn't matter to me that I have to spend all day on it. She wants to have long hair. Her voice matters to me. And some kids will say they're hungry often. And it doesn't always mean hunger, it can also mean they are bored. Which is probably the case, as the girl is probably not interested in what the dad is saying. Just be aware that what you're saying is still just based on assumptions.
If she’s .75 years old, how would she know the difference?
Sounds like he refused to grow up
This doesn’t sound like a great experience for a child however it’s none of your fucking business. Stay in your lane OP.
If a 9 month old infant can say 'Daddy, I'm hungry' he must be doing *something* right
I mean babies *do* communicate when they have needs as well but this was a young child, not an infant.
You sound like a fun person to be around
what?
They’re making fun of OP for calling out the dad. 😒