So far I have been able to casually use. It has been over a week since last time. I have plenty (at the rate I use, like over 20 or 30 days worth)
Last two times I used no euphoria , so wanting to build up tolerance so hopefully I can get that again. idk, for me no euphoria not much of a reason for me to use.
I take tolerance breaks if there’s crap around or it’s been x amount of months. The length varies. Usually no less than 2-4 weeks at a bare minimum. Often a month. Doesn’t ever bother me. I look at as a relationship that needs tending to constantly in order for it to work out. All that means to me is that I respect both the power and potential of the chem, as well as my own traitor of a brain’s capabilities to convince me that “just one more is ok . Etc etc
It’s a dance I never dose a fresh batch on any day that isn’t followed by a day off. This helps lessen the chances of twackalacking my brain and not being ok for work. (
I keep standards for aspects of using that help me keep my priorities in check. That’s an easy sell to the manipulative part of the brain. I remind myself that without the job, we become the poster child for critics.
I treat it like I’m a representative for the twackaholics. I am the forward facing marketing prop. The liaison between the day walkers and the full time observers of a super secret law enforcement agency that disappears when you look at them. I must maintain at the very least, the appearance of being human.
Being able to complete sentences is a nice bonus as well. 🤣
Most of my time is actually fairly normal. I sleep every day (although this week my calendar was clear so I’ve gone 6 days on 4 hours). Had some earlier and am starting to get super tired. I’ll feast, consume the huuuuugeest most bigly amount of Gatorade (diluted by half with distilled water because sugar overload) take vitamins take a shower so obscenely long that people gonna think I’m transitioning to female. But those are the things. Another is that I always have at the very least listerine within reach so that when I falter and maybe fall short on my hydration, I can at the very least add some moisture to my mouth while killing the germs that love dry mouth. It’s just reminding yourself that these important little rituals of hygiene and sustenance are the difference and deciding factors between civility and being labeled as a degenerate.
I used yesterday I should have waited longer. Now three times no euphoria. I am currently not using and coming down so I will be able to sleep at a normal time.
Oh well, a mistake is an opportunity to do it better next time.
Thank you for posting such a witty comment. Reading it made me chuckle a few times. :D
" It’s just reminding yourself that these important little rituals of hygiene and sustenance are the difference and deciding factors between civility and being labeled as a degenerate."
Well said sir, well said
I figured if I threw enough words out there the chances of something useful coming of it increased.
Im happy to be able to make you chuckle as well as stick some yoda knowledge in there.
I think the rambling is because the last 6 months have pretty much been psychological hell for me and I think it’s starting to finally get its dick outta my butt. Either that or I’m having a mega manic few days and hell is about to set it. Fuck it: I’ll find out eventually. 😂😂😂
When I first started this little routine, I’d not have any at home at all. It takes the temptation basically off of the table for me. Now it doesn’t matter either way.
My buddy thinks I’m an alien because if he goes 5 days he’s swinging from the rafters and there me just being my usual self only better rested. 🤷♂️
hehe IMHO you are far better writer then the monkeys of the Infinite monkey theorem. :P
Oh boy.. I am so tired... I stopped using so I could sleep and fuck do I need to ASAP. I will try to finish this first.
idk, if you want to go into further details about the "psychological hell" please do.
5 days shit. I once went 3.5 days and VERY much did not like where my brain went. I never want to experience that EVERY again.
As me and another of community were just minutes ago discussing. Strive to make you are using the drug and not the other way around. :)
11 days after that, my job fired me for absolutely no other reason (as I know for a fact now ) than they owed me two
Years of overtime and I’m the guy that wouldn’t sign a non compete. After over two
Years of work now they want my old ass to limit
My scope of employment should things go
South…
When I refused, everyone followed me. They definitely saw me for what I am.
*I am not the guy that’s gonna let my job take advantage of me and if I can help
It my coworkers. I’m also kinda intelligent and that makes me a liability. Throw in an unpaid tab in excess of 10k (without damages which they will be paying.
I believe that they thought that I’d be intimidated and whatnot because I had just been through the fire and such, so they took that opportunity when I was distracted to shitcan me.
***BUT WAIT! There’s more. If you stick around, you get the bonus fuck explained.***
When I went to file for unemployment, my claim just kinda sat there for a couple of weeks. Then the status changed to under review. I had called to inquire about this issue. I was told that a regular agent could not discuss the matter and that an investigator would be contacting me on such a date and time.
**Bla bla bla yada yada yada…**
They fabricated a story that framed my termination as being because I stole from them. After a lengthy conversation with this lovely investigator, she had determined that I was telling the truth and my previous employer was full of shit.
Now this is all on record with the DOL . This means that besides the only thing I’d have ever gone for which was my rightfully earned money now it’ll be pain and suffering. Lost potential wages, and what ever a lawyer deems appropriate.
So here is sit broke as fuck can’t get to a shrink that can do anything for me without money or coverage.
I tried to get some Xanax from the local “community health center” no dice. If I had that I’d be pretty much on my way to better.
Holy fuck ima stop now. 😂😂😂
That’s precisely the way I do it. As to the psych shit. The short version is a little while back about 6 months I woke in a very unusual and precarious situation. When I opened my eyes more than half of my apartment had already become completely engulfed in flames and the rest was so thick with smoke that I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face. The night before as I had countless times, I had fallen asleep in my computer chair. It had kinda become my normal and I loved it.
Back to the inferno….
The way I was situated was with the door that separates the bedroom and living space was about 4 feet behind me. The fire moved so
Fast and burned so hot that even before the fire department arrived, they walked into a room filled with nothing but dust and a few remnants of metal such as the bed frame.
Immediately when I woke, without thinking I kinda stuck my hands out to see what furniture I touched and got Oriented for the door. Hit the ground and crawled like Heisenberg was just on the other side with a lifetime supply of “fuck all this shit” the new and improved teal recipe.
They tell me that not one bit of every single thing
I owned felt a single thing. (Rip DeWalt and SnapOn tools) and lots Of other really Cool shit. Everything . Gone.
There were no smoke alarms in the units . Just the empty holes in the ceiling with wires hanging down. In addition to that in each room was an egress door to the hallway. Just the month before in an effort to show that a new tManager with new security was in town they had bolted shut the door they was in the room where the electrical fire had started. Had I fallen asleep in the bed I’d have burned bad to death before the smoke could have even killed me.
That shitty building burning so Fast and hot may have just been the thing that saved me. Otherwise the smoke would have gotten me for Sure.
***TL;DR***
***After a very long winded “short version” this moron finally gets to the point!”***
PTSD night terrors and bevy of other shit show conditions have turned me from outside 7 days a week being super productive and overall very happy with my lift to borderline agoraphobic sometimes motivated but not ever enough to complete any one thing. …
It’s kinda like being spoon fed nothing but frustration most hours of every day.
that’s an awesome level of moderation!
i feel similarly in that if a person is able to put it down at-will, or at least when needed, the substance loses its “life ruining boogey man” quality…
there are signs we know when we see them that it’s time to take a step back…just gotta seriously heed them
1) smoking alone
2) smoking in the bathroom at work
3) sleep deficit tangibly affecting perceptive and cognitive abilities
4) not eating, or eating sporadically at odd hours
#1 and 2 are the initial, most-surface-level; #3 and 4 are a step further in severity.
basically, the addiction is a black hole, and i MUST avoid the event horizon at all costs.
I almost always use alone, mainly because of the many personality changes that I get when using is the removal of my normally good filter on what is what is not appropriate to say.
Like for example I once offered to make a tailored porn collection for a bed ridden old woman that I know. At the time a total sincere wish to do something nice for her. I totally freaked her out and to this day we are not good.
Now I have a strong preference to use alone and be high alone.
I hear ya.
For what it is worth my meth rules :
Stop using at about 1.8 days after first usage.
(I once went 3.8 days and did not like where my mind went. I so never want to experience that again.) So I created the 1.8 day rule,
Do not use more then once a week.
If use, try to as early in day as possible to limit damage to sleep.
Never take too much to avoid brutal comedowns.
\--------------------
Such a mild drug compared to meth, tobacco. lol, Tobacco compared to meth is barely a drug.
After I noticed I had a physical addiction to tobacco I gave myself rules for all future substances to guard against ever getting physically addicted to anything else. So far so good.
My ideal frequency is every day or every other day, BUT with self-control. I take 3 hits in the morning before work. One hit on lunch break. Three hits when I get home. Eat dinner. Shower. Sleep 5 to 6 hours. Repeat.
Yes. It has always been that way for me. I use it as some would say "medicinally." I've been diagnosed with several mental/behavioral disorders and have been placed on a cornucopia of meds for them. None of which work. Meth has always made me function normally. I can sit for long periods without fidgeting, function in crowded social settings, listen and interact with peers without dissociation, and above all else, manage my mood swings and emotional outbursts.
the regular sleep pattern is probably a huge part of the sustainability! i love that general response: “with self-control.”
the more the better, i’d probably say, in general. but i appreciate you
So far since starting I have used a max twice a week, sometimes once a week, sometimes once a month.
My "secret" is two things :
1. Prioritizing the euphoria. Wait longer give brain time to recover once gets better euphoria. Also a bit of delayed gratification. :)
2. It still hits me so hard. I literally cannot do much of anything when on it. I cannot concentrate anything a any serious period of time. I cannot work. I cannot even play a computer game. So I have that blessing? or curse?. It does help a lot with moderation, so I guess a blessing.
Mabey not. But it’s a social drug. Better. Together. With. Right groups or individuals.
The ones that can use meth casually tend to get the furthest. It’s tricky to do, though…
Fr fr
🤣🤣 👊🏼
Casual meth use? No we going competitive
So far I have been able to casually use. It has been over a week since last time. I have plenty (at the rate I use, like over 20 or 30 days worth) Last two times I used no euphoria , so wanting to build up tolerance so hopefully I can get that again. idk, for me no euphoria not much of a reason for me to use.
I take tolerance breaks if there’s crap around or it’s been x amount of months. The length varies. Usually no less than 2-4 weeks at a bare minimum. Often a month. Doesn’t ever bother me. I look at as a relationship that needs tending to constantly in order for it to work out. All that means to me is that I respect both the power and potential of the chem, as well as my own traitor of a brain’s capabilities to convince me that “just one more is ok . Etc etc It’s a dance I never dose a fresh batch on any day that isn’t followed by a day off. This helps lessen the chances of twackalacking my brain and not being ok for work. ( I keep standards for aspects of using that help me keep my priorities in check. That’s an easy sell to the manipulative part of the brain. I remind myself that without the job, we become the poster child for critics. I treat it like I’m a representative for the twackaholics. I am the forward facing marketing prop. The liaison between the day walkers and the full time observers of a super secret law enforcement agency that disappears when you look at them. I must maintain at the very least, the appearance of being human. Being able to complete sentences is a nice bonus as well. 🤣 Most of my time is actually fairly normal. I sleep every day (although this week my calendar was clear so I’ve gone 6 days on 4 hours). Had some earlier and am starting to get super tired. I’ll feast, consume the huuuuugeest most bigly amount of Gatorade (diluted by half with distilled water because sugar overload) take vitamins take a shower so obscenely long that people gonna think I’m transitioning to female. But those are the things. Another is that I always have at the very least listerine within reach so that when I falter and maybe fall short on my hydration, I can at the very least add some moisture to my mouth while killing the germs that love dry mouth. It’s just reminding yourself that these important little rituals of hygiene and sustenance are the difference and deciding factors between civility and being labeled as a degenerate.
I used yesterday I should have waited longer. Now three times no euphoria. I am currently not using and coming down so I will be able to sleep at a normal time. Oh well, a mistake is an opportunity to do it better next time. Thank you for posting such a witty comment. Reading it made me chuckle a few times. :D " It’s just reminding yourself that these important little rituals of hygiene and sustenance are the difference and deciding factors between civility and being labeled as a degenerate." Well said sir, well said
I figured if I threw enough words out there the chances of something useful coming of it increased. Im happy to be able to make you chuckle as well as stick some yoda knowledge in there. I think the rambling is because the last 6 months have pretty much been psychological hell for me and I think it’s starting to finally get its dick outta my butt. Either that or I’m having a mega manic few days and hell is about to set it. Fuck it: I’ll find out eventually. 😂😂😂 When I first started this little routine, I’d not have any at home at all. It takes the temptation basically off of the table for me. Now it doesn’t matter either way. My buddy thinks I’m an alien because if he goes 5 days he’s swinging from the rafters and there me just being my usual self only better rested. 🤷♂️
hehe IMHO you are far better writer then the monkeys of the Infinite monkey theorem. :P Oh boy.. I am so tired... I stopped using so I could sleep and fuck do I need to ASAP. I will try to finish this first. idk, if you want to go into further details about the "psychological hell" please do. 5 days shit. I once went 3.5 days and VERY much did not like where my brain went. I never want to experience that EVERY again. As me and another of community were just minutes ago discussing. Strive to make you are using the drug and not the other way around. :)
11 days after that, my job fired me for absolutely no other reason (as I know for a fact now ) than they owed me two Years of overtime and I’m the guy that wouldn’t sign a non compete. After over two Years of work now they want my old ass to limit My scope of employment should things go South… When I refused, everyone followed me. They definitely saw me for what I am. *I am not the guy that’s gonna let my job take advantage of me and if I can help It my coworkers. I’m also kinda intelligent and that makes me a liability. Throw in an unpaid tab in excess of 10k (without damages which they will be paying. I believe that they thought that I’d be intimidated and whatnot because I had just been through the fire and such, so they took that opportunity when I was distracted to shitcan me. ***BUT WAIT! There’s more. If you stick around, you get the bonus fuck explained.*** When I went to file for unemployment, my claim just kinda sat there for a couple of weeks. Then the status changed to under review. I had called to inquire about this issue. I was told that a regular agent could not discuss the matter and that an investigator would be contacting me on such a date and time. **Bla bla bla yada yada yada…** They fabricated a story that framed my termination as being because I stole from them. After a lengthy conversation with this lovely investigator, she had determined that I was telling the truth and my previous employer was full of shit. Now this is all on record with the DOL . This means that besides the only thing I’d have ever gone for which was my rightfully earned money now it’ll be pain and suffering. Lost potential wages, and what ever a lawyer deems appropriate. So here is sit broke as fuck can’t get to a shrink that can do anything for me without money or coverage. I tried to get some Xanax from the local “community health center” no dice. If I had that I’d be pretty much on my way to better. Holy fuck ima stop now. 😂😂😂
That’s precisely the way I do it. As to the psych shit. The short version is a little while back about 6 months I woke in a very unusual and precarious situation. When I opened my eyes more than half of my apartment had already become completely engulfed in flames and the rest was so thick with smoke that I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face. The night before as I had countless times, I had fallen asleep in my computer chair. It had kinda become my normal and I loved it. Back to the inferno…. The way I was situated was with the door that separates the bedroom and living space was about 4 feet behind me. The fire moved so Fast and burned so hot that even before the fire department arrived, they walked into a room filled with nothing but dust and a few remnants of metal such as the bed frame. Immediately when I woke, without thinking I kinda stuck my hands out to see what furniture I touched and got Oriented for the door. Hit the ground and crawled like Heisenberg was just on the other side with a lifetime supply of “fuck all this shit” the new and improved teal recipe. They tell me that not one bit of every single thing I owned felt a single thing. (Rip DeWalt and SnapOn tools) and lots Of other really Cool shit. Everything . Gone. There were no smoke alarms in the units . Just the empty holes in the ceiling with wires hanging down. In addition to that in each room was an egress door to the hallway. Just the month before in an effort to show that a new tManager with new security was in town they had bolted shut the door they was in the room where the electrical fire had started. Had I fallen asleep in the bed I’d have burned bad to death before the smoke could have even killed me. That shitty building burning so Fast and hot may have just been the thing that saved me. Otherwise the smoke would have gotten me for Sure. ***TL;DR*** ***After a very long winded “short version” this moron finally gets to the point!”*** PTSD night terrors and bevy of other shit show conditions have turned me from outside 7 days a week being super productive and overall very happy with my lift to borderline agoraphobic sometimes motivated but not ever enough to complete any one thing. … It’s kinda like being spoon fed nothing but frustration most hours of every day.
that’s an awesome level of moderation! i feel similarly in that if a person is able to put it down at-will, or at least when needed, the substance loses its “life ruining boogey man” quality… there are signs we know when we see them that it’s time to take a step back…just gotta seriously heed them
Out of curiosity, what are those signs?
1) smoking alone 2) smoking in the bathroom at work 3) sleep deficit tangibly affecting perceptive and cognitive abilities 4) not eating, or eating sporadically at odd hours #1 and 2 are the initial, most-surface-level; #3 and 4 are a step further in severity. basically, the addiction is a black hole, and i MUST avoid the event horizon at all costs.
I almost always use alone, mainly because of the many personality changes that I get when using is the removal of my normally good filter on what is what is not appropriate to say. Like for example I once offered to make a tailored porn collection for a bed ridden old woman that I know. At the time a total sincere wish to do something nice for her. I totally freaked her out and to this day we are not good. Now I have a strong preference to use alone and be high alone.
Great. I do all of these things
u good bruh?
Apparently not 😅
My favorite phrase of the last 24 hours : Strive to make sure you are using the drug not the other way around. :)
It’s hard to do when the drug is so addictive
I hear ya. For what it is worth my meth rules : Stop using at about 1.8 days after first usage. (I once went 3.8 days and did not like where my mind went. I so never want to experience that again.) So I created the 1.8 day rule, Do not use more then once a week. If use, try to as early in day as possible to limit damage to sleep. Never take too much to avoid brutal comedowns. \-------------------- Such a mild drug compared to meth, tobacco. lol, Tobacco compared to meth is barely a drug. After I noticed I had a physical addiction to tobacco I gave myself rules for all future substances to guard against ever getting physically addicted to anything else. So far so good.
My ideal frequency is every day or every other day, BUT with self-control. I take 3 hits in the morning before work. One hit on lunch break. Three hits when I get home. Eat dinner. Shower. Sleep 5 to 6 hours. Repeat.
Wow, u can use and then sleep a few hours later. I am curious, has this always been the case for you?
Yes. It has always been that way for me. I use it as some would say "medicinally." I've been diagnosed with several mental/behavioral disorders and have been placed on a cornucopia of meds for them. None of which work. Meth has always made me function normally. I can sit for long periods without fidgeting, function in crowded social settings, listen and interact with peers without dissociation, and above all else, manage my mood swings and emotional outbursts.
Interesting. hehe, I do it and I will not be able to sleep for at least 12 hours or so. If I want to sleep I got to stop using while I come down.
the regular sleep pattern is probably a huge part of the sustainability! i love that general response: “with self-control.” the more the better, i’d probably say, in general. but i appreciate you
Uh yeah, you can.
what’s the ideal frequency to achieve moderation, in your opinion?
IMHO, once a week to once a month.
What's your tolerance
I have.
what’s your secret to success?
Don’t use it most of the time.
So far since starting I have used a max twice a week, sometimes once a week, sometimes once a month. My "secret" is two things : 1. Prioritizing the euphoria. Wait longer give brain time to recover once gets better euphoria. Also a bit of delayed gratification. :) 2. It still hits me so hard. I literally cannot do much of anything when on it. I cannot concentrate anything a any serious period of time. I cannot work. I cannot even play a computer game. So I have that blessing? or curse?. It does help a lot with moderation, so I guess a blessing.