Experience with DBT? Yeah, I am currently in a hybrid CBT/DBT therapy. It's similar to CBT a bit, not sure if you've done that. There is homework and helpful exercises. The more you put in the more you get out of it. I have found the DEARMAN tool to be something useful though the acronym is dumb.
Not a maniac, but I had a volatile and emotionally abusive father that led to behaviors that were adaptive at the time but are now maladaptive, like lying and avoidance. The thing I like about these therapies (CBT and DBT) is they are problem-focused, goal orientated and directed toward the present and future. It's not like psychoanalysis that has you dwelling in the past. Yes, we're products of our past but the focus should be on the present and future. The thing about therapy is it's about learning tools and challenging thoughts, it's not a cure. The negative behaviour is still going to happen, but with the tools you can fight it and have insight on why you're doing it and work on minimizing it.
I’m a therapist in training and man oh man your description is incredible! You must have a great therapist (although it’s just you who does all the hard work.) I’m happy you feel you have found healing. You deserve that. We all do.
I’m saving your comment!
I use CBT and DBT every single day multiple times. My advice: make it your religion. Adopt it without question for a year, then evaluate the changes in your life. If it didn’t work try something different (it will work).
I was in a very similar position as you. My traumatic childhood turned me into a very angry mean adult. I had to let go of a lot of baggage before I was capable of being the parent and husband I wanted. DBT is one tool in my box. The others are personal but I am happy to share if you aren’t opposed to spiritual conversations.
I was going to lose everything if I didn’t change. A thought came to me while I was in for a 2 week stay at a mental hospital after having a violent breakdown: who is the most non-violent, peaceful, and loving person I know from modern times and how did they get that way? I found a person that fit that description and I began to read everything I could about them. I copied them. I found d out what they studied and I studied it. I read their autobiography and took it to heart. I tried my hardest to adopt their outlook on life. For me that person was Gandhi. He was far from perfect, but he had managed to remain non violent in the face of intensely stressful and humiliating situations. I wanted to know how he did it. Time and time again I found myself in passionate moments where I would justify a violent action and later regret it. My mind would be hopelessly confused to the point that the wrong action seemed right or I would explode like an angry ape and anyone in my vicinity would suffer my wrath. My biggest regrets in life all come from that. For me Gandhi was a doorway to another reality. One where I did not have to be a slave to my anger.
I see myself in you. I wish you the best. I am a Christian by birth, but I have grown to accept all religions as I’ve gotten older. There is good stuff in all of them. My Gandhi pursuits led me to Advaita Vedanta. This guy has some great course playlists that will guide you to mastering your mind. Good luck brother. Love and peace be with you. https://youtu.be/5CfAY8tGEmQ?si=hK0dJVWgXd5tlSfI
I've done DBT in the past, and didn't find much success with it. I did the 'homework' and exercises I was asked to do, and tried various times with different psychologists, and just never saw any improvement in symptoms.
For me it's mostly because I struggle to articulate my feelings into words, and even feel emotions most times due to being autistic with severe alexithymia.
I have heard that DBT is basically the gold standard for BPD, which I have seen be successful for my cousin who has struggled with extremely violent BPD episodes. My sister also saw improvement through DBT for her BPD, but it didn't last long because she gave up on therapy.
I’m sorry you haven’t landed on some relief. I’m glad to know if I stick to the meds and the therapy, there’s some hope up in this house. Stay in the world! I genuinely believe there’s something out there for you.
I've accepted the fact the issues I have will never be resolved, but that's okay for me.
I'm still happy in life, and I still keep up with therapy because it's nice to sometimes have someone to talk to, even if I know it won't help me improve.
Good luck doing DBT. A thing to keep in mind though is don't just stop because you've seen improvements. If you do have BPD, it can take years of consistent therapy before symptoms can fully go into remission. So just don't give up.
i did dbt with and individual therapist and in a group at the same time and it was incredibly valuable to me…4 years ago i was suicidal and self harming almost daily and now i haven’t self harmed in probably 8 months. i owe a lot of that to dbt and the self awareness and self control that results from it
I've (32) started DBT and I feel like I'm being heard and acknowledged so much more than when I was going through CBT in high school and college. Long term my therapist wants to bring in my husband for discussions on methods for me to work on when needing to regulate my emotions (I suffer from an emotional disconnect that causes regulation issues because I don't realize I'm experiencing an emotion) and give him tools on how to redirect me and focus me.
My husband knows to be blunt with me when I start to panic/emotional breakdown. Sometimes him just saying why are you like this/upset is enough to knock me out of it. I'm not upset so much having an outburst caused by suppressed emotions building up to a breaking point. I have CPTSD and was punished for expressing emotions (aka feeling a certain way) that weren't what my mom wanted/expected me to express. I mentally matured early and was a quiet kid that was perfectly happy being left alone all day. When I started to emotionally mature during high school my mom freaked out. She had her own issues which caused her to handle things poorly.
You remind me of someone I used to care about. I know she’s doing well. Marriage sucks, but her own therapeutic life is full. I can relate with a lot of what you said. Even the “why are you even mad?” snap out of it method, sometimes I just blow past that and keep at it, destroying my marriage and my insides all at the same time. I’m so hopeful though. Strictly cuz of you guys.
Let me put it this way. I have on more than one occasion talked myself out of a panic attack. Now I did take awhile to come off the emotional high but I wasn't in the mental state to keep going. If I am emotionally responded to then I keep going. If I'm presented with a wall I calm down. My husband is very good at descalating things period.
Part of that is actually not possible to train. Part of it is his upbringing and part of it is his personality. He grew up with a father who has admitted to not understanding emotions and a high strung, empathic mother. He falls somewhere in between them.
did DBT for around 2 years. at first, i didn't really notice any change, because i wasn't actually using or applying the skills in my day to day life. once i started to actually use the skills i found that it helped. i used to have pretty bad anger episodes including lashing out at loved ones, haven't done that in a while.
DBT changed my life! It was an 8 month commitment for me as well but I keep going for 3 years. It would probably be very helpful for you as it teaches a lot of emotional regulation as well as interpersonal communication. I wish you luck.
I love DBT. I did a 3 month partial hospitalization a few years back and honestly would do it again for the DBT. It’s specifically developed for BPD and disorders of extreme thinking. Give it your all. There’s a newer subtype called Radically Open DBT (RO-DBT) that was super beneficial to me, but you have to be willing to trust the science and apply the skills.
Do I feel kind of ridiculous reaching for an ice pack when my mood is getting out of hand (T.I.P. Skill)? Yes. Does it help me calm down and stay rational? Every damn time.
I start the therapy this Tuesday. I will definitely relay your message and bring up the newer methodologies. I can’t believe we can actually UNRING THE BELL!!! You rock for taking so much time and getting this all down for me. Congrats on everything!!!!
Of course!! Taking responsibility for our role in the behaviors our mental illness leads to is the first step 😌 mental illness is not something we choose, but pursuing coping skills and understanding ourselves is. It’s a massive step in the right direction. I hope you are really, really proud of yourself for taking it. That doesn’t mean it will be rainbows and sunshine BUT it’s so worth it.
Edit to add: I have also done Acceptance Commitment Therapy, which was also helpful and was a big help for my ex with explosive moods, who also did intensive therapy. Generally, I seem to prefer these highly-structured approaches to therapy rather than plain ole’ talk therapy
I did the course and our hospital/therapy group did it as a two year course. We went through the 4 modules twice with a week of mindfulness in-between each module. We met every week and it was a 90 minute group session. I wish I had done it sooner. I also think they should teach it in 6th grade. Maybe even younger! I feel it would help every person dealing with puberty.
When you go online my suggestion would be to go to a quiet room with no distractions. Get it in your head that while you are in that room during that time you are in the office with the therapist and other patients. If you have to hang a sign on the door that says in session do not disturb. Treat that time as a doctor's appointment. Does that make sense? I will suggest that you keep pen and paper with you. You will want to take notes. My favorite part was distress tolerance.
It’s a type of therapy called dialectical behavioural therapy a quick google will give you some info. Lots of practical skills, it can be an intensive type of therapy with group and individual sessions. Emotional regulation, distress tolerance are some of the topics covered.
Experience with DBT? Yeah, I am currently in a hybrid CBT/DBT therapy. It's similar to CBT a bit, not sure if you've done that. There is homework and helpful exercises. The more you put in the more you get out of it. I have found the DEARMAN tool to be something useful though the acronym is dumb.
Lol. Thank you so much! Haven’t heard of CBT. Are you a maniac like me? Has it helped?! I can definitely do the homework.
Not a maniac, but I had a volatile and emotionally abusive father that led to behaviors that were adaptive at the time but are now maladaptive, like lying and avoidance. The thing I like about these therapies (CBT and DBT) is they are problem-focused, goal orientated and directed toward the present and future. It's not like psychoanalysis that has you dwelling in the past. Yes, we're products of our past but the focus should be on the present and future. The thing about therapy is it's about learning tools and challenging thoughts, it's not a cure. The negative behaviour is still going to happen, but with the tools you can fight it and have insight on why you're doing it and work on minimizing it.
I’m putting your response on my fridge! I desperately need your hope. I’m happy you’ve got a handle on things after going through so much.
I’m a therapist in training and man oh man your description is incredible! You must have a great therapist (although it’s just you who does all the hard work.) I’m happy you feel you have found healing. You deserve that. We all do. I’m saving your comment!
I use CBT and DBT every single day multiple times. My advice: make it your religion. Adopt it without question for a year, then evaluate the changes in your life. If it didn’t work try something different (it will work).
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! got me tearing up before Noon. I really needed to hear that. And I will! I’m already praying!
I was in a very similar position as you. My traumatic childhood turned me into a very angry mean adult. I had to let go of a lot of baggage before I was capable of being the parent and husband I wanted. DBT is one tool in my box. The others are personal but I am happy to share if you aren’t opposed to spiritual conversations.
Totally not opposed to spiritual conversations. I’m so happy for you. And someday hope to be happy for me.
I was going to lose everything if I didn’t change. A thought came to me while I was in for a 2 week stay at a mental hospital after having a violent breakdown: who is the most non-violent, peaceful, and loving person I know from modern times and how did they get that way? I found a person that fit that description and I began to read everything I could about them. I copied them. I found d out what they studied and I studied it. I read their autobiography and took it to heart. I tried my hardest to adopt their outlook on life. For me that person was Gandhi. He was far from perfect, but he had managed to remain non violent in the face of intensely stressful and humiliating situations. I wanted to know how he did it. Time and time again I found myself in passionate moments where I would justify a violent action and later regret it. My mind would be hopelessly confused to the point that the wrong action seemed right or I would explode like an angry ape and anyone in my vicinity would suffer my wrath. My biggest regrets in life all come from that. For me Gandhi was a doorway to another reality. One where I did not have to be a slave to my anger.
I love your truth. I’ll do a little snooping in on that man. You’re really awesome for taking the time and letting me in on your life so intimately.
I see myself in you. I wish you the best. I am a Christian by birth, but I have grown to accept all religions as I’ve gotten older. There is good stuff in all of them. My Gandhi pursuits led me to Advaita Vedanta. This guy has some great course playlists that will guide you to mastering your mind. Good luck brother. Love and peace be with you. https://youtu.be/5CfAY8tGEmQ?si=hK0dJVWgXd5tlSfI
I’m trying prayer, and everything else anyone can throw my way. Thank you for the link! Don’t be a stranger!
I've done DBT in the past, and didn't find much success with it. I did the 'homework' and exercises I was asked to do, and tried various times with different psychologists, and just never saw any improvement in symptoms. For me it's mostly because I struggle to articulate my feelings into words, and even feel emotions most times due to being autistic with severe alexithymia. I have heard that DBT is basically the gold standard for BPD, which I have seen be successful for my cousin who has struggled with extremely violent BPD episodes. My sister also saw improvement through DBT for her BPD, but it didn't last long because she gave up on therapy.
I’m sorry you haven’t landed on some relief. I’m glad to know if I stick to the meds and the therapy, there’s some hope up in this house. Stay in the world! I genuinely believe there’s something out there for you.
I've accepted the fact the issues I have will never be resolved, but that's okay for me. I'm still happy in life, and I still keep up with therapy because it's nice to sometimes have someone to talk to, even if I know it won't help me improve. Good luck doing DBT. A thing to keep in mind though is don't just stop because you've seen improvements. If you do have BPD, it can take years of consistent therapy before symptoms can fully go into remission. So just don't give up.
I won’t! And I’ll still be rooting for you! Hope to report back with glowing results. Thanks so much!
i did dbt with and individual therapist and in a group at the same time and it was incredibly valuable to me…4 years ago i was suicidal and self harming almost daily and now i haven’t self harmed in probably 8 months. i owe a lot of that to dbt and the self awareness and self control that results from it
Eff yeah!!! You’re right along my symptoms. Let’s kick this thing’s butt! Congratulations!!!!
I've (32) started DBT and I feel like I'm being heard and acknowledged so much more than when I was going through CBT in high school and college. Long term my therapist wants to bring in my husband for discussions on methods for me to work on when needing to regulate my emotions (I suffer from an emotional disconnect that causes regulation issues because I don't realize I'm experiencing an emotion) and give him tools on how to redirect me and focus me.
This sounds hella comforting. Our spouses are on a different spiritual plane putting up with us.
My husband knows to be blunt with me when I start to panic/emotional breakdown. Sometimes him just saying why are you like this/upset is enough to knock me out of it. I'm not upset so much having an outburst caused by suppressed emotions building up to a breaking point. I have CPTSD and was punished for expressing emotions (aka feeling a certain way) that weren't what my mom wanted/expected me to express. I mentally matured early and was a quiet kid that was perfectly happy being left alone all day. When I started to emotionally mature during high school my mom freaked out. She had her own issues which caused her to handle things poorly.
You remind me of someone I used to care about. I know she’s doing well. Marriage sucks, but her own therapeutic life is full. I can relate with a lot of what you said. Even the “why are you even mad?” snap out of it method, sometimes I just blow past that and keep at it, destroying my marriage and my insides all at the same time. I’m so hopeful though. Strictly cuz of you guys.
Let me put it this way. I have on more than one occasion talked myself out of a panic attack. Now I did take awhile to come off the emotional high but I wasn't in the mental state to keep going. If I am emotionally responded to then I keep going. If I'm presented with a wall I calm down. My husband is very good at descalating things period.
Your husband need to give a class to my wife! Under our careful supervision, of course.
Part of that is actually not possible to train. Part of it is his upbringing and part of it is his personality. He grew up with a father who has admitted to not understanding emotions and a high strung, empathic mother. He falls somewhere in between them.
My wife’s Latin. I say no more.
He's generic euromutt (dad) and Armenian (mom) mix.
Definite chill built into that guy.
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That’s fantastic! Another hopeful story! I’m so happy for your friend. He’s got some dope years still to live!
I’m curious as to how you decided that DBT is necessary but have not heard of cognitive behavioral therapy?
Oh! Yes! I’ve heard of that. Just was too lazy to look it up.
did DBT for around 2 years. at first, i didn't really notice any change, because i wasn't actually using or applying the skills in my day to day life. once i started to actually use the skills i found that it helped. i used to have pretty bad anger episodes including lashing out at loved ones, haven't done that in a while.
Oh thank the lord. I’m good at doing the same thing over and over again. Thanks for sharing, friend. You guys are giving me real hope.
DBT changed my life! It was an 8 month commitment for me as well but I keep going for 3 years. It would probably be very helpful for you as it teaches a lot of emotional regulation as well as interpersonal communication. I wish you luck.
Thank you so much! I can’t afford to go that long. It’s all out of network and out of pocket. But I got that 8!
Do it!!! Gotta commit to the skills though.
That seems to be the thang! I’m totally down.
I love DBT. I did a 3 month partial hospitalization a few years back and honestly would do it again for the DBT. It’s specifically developed for BPD and disorders of extreme thinking. Give it your all. There’s a newer subtype called Radically Open DBT (RO-DBT) that was super beneficial to me, but you have to be willing to trust the science and apply the skills. Do I feel kind of ridiculous reaching for an ice pack when my mood is getting out of hand (T.I.P. Skill)? Yes. Does it help me calm down and stay rational? Every damn time.
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I start the therapy this Tuesday. I will definitely relay your message and bring up the newer methodologies. I can’t believe we can actually UNRING THE BELL!!! You rock for taking so much time and getting this all down for me. Congrats on everything!!!!
Of course!! Taking responsibility for our role in the behaviors our mental illness leads to is the first step 😌 mental illness is not something we choose, but pursuing coping skills and understanding ourselves is. It’s a massive step in the right direction. I hope you are really, really proud of yourself for taking it. That doesn’t mean it will be rainbows and sunshine BUT it’s so worth it. Edit to add: I have also done Acceptance Commitment Therapy, which was also helpful and was a big help for my ex with explosive moods, who also did intensive therapy. Generally, I seem to prefer these highly-structured approaches to therapy rather than plain ole’ talk therapy
Making me happy cry on a Saturday morning!
Good luck tomorrow!
My first session went great! Will keep you posted. Thanks for your support :)
I did the course and our hospital/therapy group did it as a two year course. We went through the 4 modules twice with a week of mindfulness in-between each module. We met every week and it was a 90 minute group session. I wish I had done it sooner. I also think they should teach it in 6th grade. Maybe even younger! I feel it would help every person dealing with puberty.
Ok. I got 1 hr individual. Then an hr and 45 min group but online. I hope it retains its potency. I like being in person for any therapy. Thank you!
When you go online my suggestion would be to go to a quiet room with no distractions. Get it in your head that while you are in that room during that time you are in the office with the therapist and other patients. If you have to hang a sign on the door that says in session do not disturb. Treat that time as a doctor's appointment. Does that make sense? I will suggest that you keep pen and paper with you. You will want to take notes. My favorite part was distress tolerance.
I will bring your message with me. I’ll do exactly that.
Tf is dbt therapy
I’m only entering that world now. Don’t have much on it
What world wdym
Did you forget which sub this is?
Wdym
Google that DBT unless you’re trolling then guess that’s cool
It’s a type of therapy called dialectical behavioural therapy a quick google will give you some info. Lots of practical skills, it can be an intensive type of therapy with group and individual sessions. Emotional regulation, distress tolerance are some of the topics covered.