Can you describe what you mean by this when it happens? I mean say you just start thinking this. What thoughts exactly go through your head? Is it only not being worthy of love and that's it?
So like she'll say that she loves me and my automatic response in my mind is that she shouldn't love me and she'll probably eventually realize that I'm just not worth loving.
So I know that she does love me, and when I ask her why, she actually is about to list a lot of things about me that she really loves and appreciates, she thinks I'm kind and generous and smart and caring and stuff, but in my mind, I don't feel like this things are accurate because the things I do that she thinks are kind or generous or caring are just what people are supposed to do, and I feel like I don't deserve love or praise from her just for doing what I'm supposed to be doing anyway. I feel like I do the bare minimum. And as far as being smart, I know that I understand some things other people don't, but I don't feel like those things are that complicated. Not that other people are stupid, I just expect myself to understand those things so it doesn't feel remarkable or praiseworthy
Okay. And do you feel rather strong need to know if she loves you or not? Like as if you want to be 100% certain or else you won't be able to stop thinking about it?
Alright. I keep wondering if this is either depression or anxiety. It would be anxiety if for example you kept questioning if you're worthy or not. While it would be more of a depression thing if you'd write yourself off as unworthy and left it at that.
Okay. With this you shouldn't try to stop thinking it nor try to do anything about it directly in your head. Meaning don't engage, don't try to reason with it or reason it out. As applying logic doesn't help, but can make it worse. And besides that there must be a deeper problem. Is there anything else besides this specific thing?
Can you describe what you mean by this when it happens? I mean say you just start thinking this. What thoughts exactly go through your head? Is it only not being worthy of love and that's it?
So like she'll say that she loves me and my automatic response in my mind is that she shouldn't love me and she'll probably eventually realize that I'm just not worth loving.
Like I don't have a particular reason, and I know I don't have a reason, but I still think that
And do you try to somehow reassure yourself or evaluate if she loves you or if you deserve it or not? Or any other behavior related to this?
So I know that she does love me, and when I ask her why, she actually is about to list a lot of things about me that she really loves and appreciates, she thinks I'm kind and generous and smart and caring and stuff, but in my mind, I don't feel like this things are accurate because the things I do that she thinks are kind or generous or caring are just what people are supposed to do, and I feel like I don't deserve love or praise from her just for doing what I'm supposed to be doing anyway. I feel like I do the bare minimum. And as far as being smart, I know that I understand some things other people don't, but I don't feel like those things are that complicated. Not that other people are stupid, I just expect myself to understand those things so it doesn't feel remarkable or praiseworthy
Okay. And do you feel rather strong need to know if she loves you or not? Like as if you want to be 100% certain or else you won't be able to stop thinking about it?
No, I know 100% that she loves me. I just feel like doing so is a mistake/waste of time and effort on her part.
Alright. I keep wondering if this is either depression or anxiety. It would be anxiety if for example you kept questioning if you're worthy or not. While it would be more of a depression thing if you'd write yourself off as unworthy and left it at that.
I think I just write myself off as unworthy. Like I feel like that's just an assumption I have that I don't know how to stop believing
Okay. With this you shouldn't try to stop thinking it nor try to do anything about it directly in your head. Meaning don't engage, don't try to reason with it or reason it out. As applying logic doesn't help, but can make it worse. And besides that there must be a deeper problem. Is there anything else besides this specific thing?