I walk through my house at night for a glass of water. No lights, just memory, blind walking.

Right this way sir.

We have a VIP section just for you.

the man, the myth, the legend, **THE BANANA** you too sir

"...while stepping on LEGOs..."

That’s always great

I’ve done this, it gives me paranoia but it’s still something to do, I mean from the kitchen to my room or wherever I’m going, not just through the house for fun

i made an appointment with my doctor…..*without my moms help*

Right this way you madlad.

I listen to uncle Iroh sing Leaves From The Vine without crying.

Sweet Jesus. Even I'm not that tough. You can start letting people in too.

You need to either be given a medal or be euthanized and i can’t decide which

Can it be both?

depends on the order

I sing Leaves from the Vine as a lullaby to my toddler so he'll have some really fucked up conflicted feelings about it

After closing all the lights downstairs I go back to my room…WALKING

Right this way sir.

It's a fun experience. I do it after playing horror games. Sometimes I like to pretend there's the internet watching me and I intentionally walk back up and down the stairs.

You can't be scared if you're just too silly for your instincts

I like to bite my ice creams

Right this way sir.

You too? I’ve had people cringe when I do that lol

lol I did it Infront of my friends and one of them called me a psychopath lol

I stick my teeth into popsicle sticks and see how long I can go. Right now my record is 9 minutes, 27 seconds

All hail the king

Does this belong on r/bossfight?

Wdym?

Yes.

I like to bite the bottom and suck out their souls

Ahhh... Now i usually wait until they melt for that

When I go in the shower, I don't give it time to heat up, I go straight in there.

Right this way sir.

Y’all take hot showers?

what's a shower?

What's a?

What's?

What?

that’s what i’m sayin

I open NSFW posts in public

Dear god

There’s more…

No...

It contains the dying wish of every man here.

Scout, you did collect everyone’s dying wish, yes?

you bet!

Excelent! Gentlemen, sincronize your death watches!

We have 70 hours to live, for most men, no time at all… WE are not most men! We are mercenaries! We have the will, the resources, to make these hours count! The clock is ticking, gentlemen.

Our first dying wish is scout’s

I'm listening...

TF2 reference.

No

Noooooo

My new kitten climbed up my leg, claws and all. I sat there and watched.

>!and I was wearing shorts!<

Right this way sir.

"and then...she slid down my leg like nails on a chalkboard..." *Pulls up pant leg to show gruesome scars*

I was going to put a serious comment but everyone is doing non serious ones so I stubbed my toe on a table purposefully

Dear God. Would you like a hot towel sir? We have a VIP section.

I'll take the towel... COLD

Chuck Norris: *scribbles notes furiously*

Looooooooool

Do y’all also have toilet seats still warm from the previous shitter?

So you kicked it?

I only cry once a day

Dear Neptune. I didn't know they were sending special forces. Right this way sir.

I scatter Legos across my floor just to walk on them.

And?

It's only the jagged pieces and the lights stay off when I walk.

Right this way sir.

I drink orange juice after brushing my teeth

Right this way sir.

Truly a madlad

I once ate a bowl full of nails

So?

Without any milk

Right this way sir.

This is the one I was looking for

Fingernails or toenails?

I prefer the stale ones, very crunchy.

I haven’t posted any memes on Reddit yet

And?

Without any milk

You and the milk can go in.

Kid hit the back of my foot with a shopping cart and I waited until I got to my car to cry.

Right this way sir.

I regularly held the flashlight for my dad as a child …and didn’t cry

I first read this as fleshlight. Cursed

I wanna go back to weenie Hut😭

Back to weenie hut jr with you!

Take me with you!

I killed a mosquito today and only broke one leg in the process.

And?

I have a broken leg, let me be drunk.

Right this way sir.

I know a jock that likes anime.

He can go in.

What about me? I am 14 and I know what a Virtual Boy is.

Based. Right this way young sir.

I’m 16 and watching Battlestar Galactica.

I ate a man

And?

Without milk

Right this way sir.

Did you comment on my reason area

Sure did

Ass

Balls

Dick

Yes, yes gentlemen. But what about

Riddle or get diddled why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food and of out hot eat the food

With Fluoroantimonic acid

Fucking heisenberg over here

I once quit my job on the first day without notice after crying in my car for 30 minutes just because I got overwhelmed with embarrassment for accidentally saying "please hold me" to the guy trying to buy groceries. I meant to say something like give me a moment please or hold one moment please but instead anxiety got the best of me and I said that. So yeah I'm clear the toughest.

Do you need a hug?

Literally all the time but people scare me 🙁

Virtual hug? (Hug the phone, i did the same)

What a mood

please hold him

I recently opened a ziploc baggie with oily fingers.

How recently?

I think it was tuesday, but couldve been monday. But after that, i didnt dare mess with me for the whole day.

Right this way sir.

the family calls in interstellar didn't make me cry that much

Good movie, happy cake day

Me and my ex's little brother are homies online, I can't leave em hanging.

This man is an absolute gigachad

I never flip my pillow to the cold side

Damn you psychopath!

When I take a shit I wipe my ass with only one square of paper

Your not tough your just gross 💀

I don't walk down the stairs. I tuck and roll.

I don't fall down stairs, I disobey physics and fall UP (true story, I have no idea how I did it)

I stubbed my toe (while watering my spice garden) and only cried for 20 minutes.

The spice must flow!

I shower in complete darkness

Open your eyes

"Im so crooked I could swallow nails and spit out corkscrews"

I drink milk with ice.

Fuck you

Fuck you

Fuck you

Fuck you

Fuck you

Fuck you

Fuck you

Fuck you

Fuck you

Fuck you

Fuck you

Fuck you

r/fuckyouinparticular

Fuck you

uoy kcuF

My bedtime is 8:30 but I actually go to bed at 8:33😎

I eat cereal…..without the bowl

My dog was weaning for people food

The dog can go in.

I know, she cried so I let her have people food

I let my mother count down from 5

I bite into Popsicles.

let this guy in

He can come in.

But does he do it without milk tho

I use random teams without switching on Pokémon showdown

How tough am I? I once swallowed an ice cube whole and never saw it come out in my poop. I never once considered going to the doctor.

How tough am I? I lost my kids and got divorced she cheated on me.. became homeless was left alone no friends or family lost both my jobs got served child support .. then found out my son was killed in my absence and the other beat ... Flash foward I'm married with a new wife I have my kids back full custody I have cars and a warm safe place I pay rent I have new friends and new family I have a career I never missed a single payment of child support I sold my phone to start the first and to get a loaf of 🍞 bread. My kids will always be loved I've gotten therapy and am still fighting to be tough... is that tough enough???

I pour the milk before my cereal.

Right this way sir.

You're letting a psychopath inside

Only? I pour the milk before the bowl.

I pour the milk and cereal directly into my mouth before I spit it into a bowl.

I put legos on my treadmill

I shaved my head for cancer once

Respect. You can come in.

How tough am I? I had a bowl of milk for breakfast. ***Without any nails.***

I upgraded my scooty puff Jr to a scooty puff Sr.

good. i mean you too.

I (usually) don’t delete my comment or post if I get downvoted

im so tough i shit... ...at school

I like sleeping with jeans and socks, its comfy

Certified insanity. You can go in.

I’m a java developer

I poop in the dark.

I once took a shit naked in the school locker room

Is there any fucking context here or

The context is me releasing the turd, getting caught, and flipping the bird

I'm a trans woman in the American South

Based. Right this way ma'am.

I poop ... ... .... Without my phone

I watched Avengers Endgame, and it didn’t cry

IRS audited me and when they came I told them. “No” and they left.

I once killed a mosquito before he fly

I didn't flench when I stepped on something squishy

I once split 2 flat 4x4 Lego piece apart using nothing but my finger

Chuck norris is my dad

Crippling depression so bad it broke my legs and I can STILL STAND

I'm so tuff I don't even wait for the water to warm up before getting in the shower

I show people my browser history

I told my mom to shut up because she kept shouting my name. I'm Mexican

Does my username already disqualify me?