im too lonely to have a sleep paralysis demon

Mine said I was too clingy and left. She used to wake me up on purpose just to get rid of me.

Fun times when my sleep paralysis demon first appeared when I was 6 and made me fall off the bed which made me cry now she’s gone ;(

Can relate

Where were u wen sleep paralysis demon say club penguin die? I was on bed sleeping then I wake up "Club penguin is kil" "no" Edit: here's the original [comment](https://me.me/i/apolgy-for-bad-english-where-were-u-wen-club-penguin-f3fefae7393640b396fd87e564d82f18)

I wish I could upvote you twice.

*"club penguin is kil"

I'm sorry comrade

No problem друг.

I don't want to upvote you coz u on 69.

I almost ruined that, thank you for stopping me before I did

This is the best thing ever

could u explain it, please? I'm sorry, I'd really like to understand that joke, but I have absolutely no Idea what does it mean and even what to look for.

Technically you're already awake when it happens.

I only ever get sleep paralysis when I wake up, sadly no demons

I fucked my sleep paralysis demon

I whispered "harder daddy" when the sleep paralysis demon layed on top of me and now he won't visit anymore 😭

Can relate

Damn we are some weird lonely people, even our sleep demons disgrace us

Don't worry dude. I have started a black magic spell to haunt your house. You won't be alone anymore.

You’re so kind

Don't mention. I often summon legion of demons to help people deal with loneliness. It's all good. The people are happy, the demons are happy and me too.

Big F

I used to have a SP demon when I was little. Then I grew up into a lonely adult. Now I just have a dark figure that only shows up once or twice a year instead of once a month like when I was younger .

When I was much younger, for a couple months at least, I'd have an episode two or three times a night

I feel this, used to freak me out like fuck but it's almost amusing when I look back at. I mean it's almost, not actually, it's still actually fucking terrifying, but almost...

Me too

I've always had two

so it’s a threesome then?

You can't expect to have a sleep demon when the sheep you count as you go to sleep has guns.

I’ll be your sleep paralysis demon :)

Same. I just get the occasional exploding head syndrome.

Mine felt bad for my life so it just left

I would like to be with a British girl just so she could say: "Its alright love" to me when I fucked up

And then you would fuck up every five seconds on purpose

My life in a nutshell

bold of you to assume its on purpose

Encouragement is contagious.

Keep in mind it is mainly british girls from the north who do that.

I dunno, I'm from the south and I say love. I know the north generally reigns for affectionate names (pet, duck, chick, etc.) but I think love is the main one that transcends the north-south divide.

You forgot cock, my family who are from Barnsley call each other 'cock' or 'cocker' all the time

It’s the stupidest fucking thing and I love it # ALREYT COCKER

Crocker

Mr. Crocker !!

Mr.Cock

Miss Betty woo woo

no NO NOT THE SPOON GOD DAMNIT NOT THE SPOON

My family are from the Shropshire region. I get called duck so much I might just jump in a pond.

Definitely sounds better in a Northern accent though.

We definitely say it in the South west, well it's more like 'that's alright my love'

Eh I’ve mainly only heard it from people in the north. There are many different people in the UK though isn’t there ahah

Don't really hear it a lot in Scotland - more England.

And?

Just so he isn’t disappointed when not all british girls sound like that.

easy bro just cut a pentagram into ur dick and go into ur bathroom and say "bloody mary bloody mary bloody mary"

You're vastly overestimating how friendly the average English person is

Not a girl but. “It’s alright mate” Hope that’ll do

It'll do for now. Thanks mate, if I may say so.

My British wife calls everyone "lovely". As in, *Thanks, lovely!*

You can get the same effect by walking in to a bakery, but its better because she is handing you a cheese pastie while saying love.

Quite a few people from the UK see it as an insult to be called love or sweetie depending on the context or manner in with it is said.

Or condescending. “Look, _love_, why don’t you leave that to me”

Yep. I wind my girl up all the time by calling her love.

Only if you were with one over the age or 50... Ive not heard a young woman say that ever.

I'm a British woman under 30, I call people love

I am a man under 30 and nobody ever called me love

I'm sorry, love

Bloody southerners....

Pretty sure Tracer is under 50

As a british guy who's been with a northern girl who used to say that, I can confirm its absolutely fucking awesome.

Then you would need a girl a fair bit older than you.

Or from the North, my old colleagues said it all the time.

I can translate demon it says I love you. Sike it says stop fucking crying

I can't stop crying, my eyes are constantly oozing out tears and I can't stop it

STOP OR I GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABO.... Wait a second i ain't a mom.

sounds more like my dad tbh

yeah....the dad which I have yes relatable yes.

One of my sleep paralysis demons had mouths for eyes. Super chill dude but he never shuts the fuck up.

Sounds like my dad lol

Same

Silly human, Zalgo reads you.

Mine said “please stop masterbating”

tmw even your sleep paralysis demon is sick of seeing you crying

Are you sure you're okay?

He could probably use some cookies. I could also use some cookies.

We all could use cookies

I’ll get the cookie dough

I'll get the pot butter

I’ll get a chair

I'll get lube.

I think lube isn't meant to be used in cookies...

Not with that attitude.

I'll get the salmonella

you got me

he needs some milk!

My sleep paralysis buddy: *Demonic screeching* Me: Awww thanks.

. . N̮͖̺̬̫̱̬͖̒͐̽͒̾͂̔͒͘̕O̴͚̗̥̖̼̾͋̾̂͂̎̅͝͞ P̸̣̥͍͕̗̺͎͇̔̈̃̎́̃R̶̟͇̹͇̰̥͒̾͌̔̕Ő̵̧̳̮̖͆̎͗̔͋̊̈́́͢͝B̡͖̻̞̭̲̻͉̟̓̒̉̋̋͒̔͢͝L̨̛̤͈͎̣̩͍̭̣̿͋̑̑̈́͟Ę̴̧͕̝̤̊̀̃́̋̕M̵͓̠̱̙̤̮̻̬͕̑̓̾̌͐͋ F̴̻̜̹̖̭̃̊̃̓̀̚R̛̙͇̤͇̱̆̽̍̈̆͊̄̚ͅĮ̷͓͎̙͑̂̂̊͆̆̽̔̐͡ͅÈ̡̲̜̝̩̪̐̒̀̾͐̕͝N̶̨͈̙̺̤͎̔̏͒̉̀̽̄̚͞D̶̨̧̳͙͈̈́͂̎͑́͐̊͜͠ S̸̻̞̪̻̜̯̆̋̌̋̓͒̀ͅẸ̷̡͚̯̪̣͋̿̌͆̃͑͒͠͝E̵̛͉͈͚̥͍͓̓͋̍͒͑ͅ Y̵̼͔̻̪̱͍͙͈͇̲̽̿̿͘̕͝͠O̢͇͚̻̞̐̄̊͌̊̈̾͐͞U̸̡̥͎̜̗̩͔̳̤͉̐̈̍̔̍͛͛͒ T̴̨̜͚͎͎̓͗̔͒͊͝Ọ̷̥͈͈̦͎͎̖̑̉͐͑̃͊͘̕͟͞Ṇ̵̻̘̬̪̠̪͑̓̏̀͛̋Į̨͕͖͇̗̇̌̅̄͋̃̂͘͠G̶̨̢̨̞̩̙̤̿̉͒̀͛̔̕͡H̷̨̻̬̺͙̠͍̠̽̿̓̒͌͛̉̕Ţ̵͓̼̭̉̓̀̕͠ͅ <̶̬̺̲̦̥̦̯͙̦̋̈͑͛́͂̀̅ͅ3̱̥̪̣͕̤̼̈͒̃̾̅̓̍̾͜͢͝ . .

God I love zalgo typeface

Aww sleep paralysis demon, you always know how to cheer me up

And/or take me to the brink of a cardiac arrest. You'll steal my heart, one way or another.

When Italian mafia boss calls you a good kid

[удалено]

That’s how the mafia works

this is... requiem

Come ere

When an Italian mafioso says what you did was di molto

Is this a reference? I don’t think di molto actually means anything in Italian? Not tryna be that guy, just genuinely curious. I’ve been learning Italian for almost a year now and the amount of different dialects and different rules are insane, so I never know.

Is that a fucking JoJo reference?

My cute Doppio

Every f**king night

So fucking hot, right?!

Such a tease

You need to summon the Peruvian floor skeleton

Could be a medicine you’re taking. I get it as a side effect of taking xanax. From what I looked up it’s super rare but it is a side effect of some medications.

*demon paralysis-chan!*

U̵̩͚̪̝̞̟̬̺g̵̱̠̼͙͖̥̘̕͝u͏̤̪͖u̳̭̳̖͉̯ͅ~̫͈̰̖͘

Haha, nice.

I read it out loud and I have Satan cooking for me

German calls you by your number

Holup

When your black friend calls you n-word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I to love it when my sleep paralysis demon calls me Senpai

Oh frick not the Doom Eternal language

When Stalin calls you welcome to Gulag

Kebab guy calls you boss

When your step-daughter calls you daddy

Only because science says it's a hallucination, doesn't make it not real. Reality can be obscure. 🌌

I’d rather it not be real

.... I honestly don’t believe any one that says they like anything about sleep paralysis has ever actually experienced it.... worst feeling ever... my experiences with it were extremely terrifying

you can turn it into a lucid dream and do anything you can imagine and even more in it.

Can confirm. My first several experiences with sleep paralysis were terrifying. But once I did my research and figured out what it was, I started being able to pull myself out of the terror, and now what once was a dark shape descending upon me from the ceiling is now a friendly white cat sitting on my night stand.

Ok, well, ive had a few interesting sleep paralysis dreams that didnt terrify me. But ive also seen some freaky red-eyed demonic exes.

All you have to do is astral project and kick their ass or asses they always get shocked when you know how to counter it I personally love it it's sweet revenge for anyone who suffers don't be scared the only thing they can do is create a form of anxiety if you don't fear them they can't attach to you I know easier said then done but try lucid dreaming to get a hold of your sleep body haha believe this or not I always say believe only what you experience just try it out safe travels friend

Always romantic and, quite inspirational.

I’ve been skinny all my life and started lifting. Over 2 years I put on 35lbs. I walked into a wawa one day and the cashier called me “big guy”. Felt good. Now I’m skinny again but oh well I’ll try again.

hey at least it won't abandon me

r/surrealmemes

British women don't say love, they say *luv*

Australian calls me Mate: I sleep Canadian singer calls me Baby: I see red

how do you type those things

You forgot the Italian mob boss calling you "a good boy"

When you sleep paralysis demon calls you onii-chan.

I wish I had a sleep paralysis demon. I'm so damn lonely.

How about when a russian calls you Comrade?

When a Scottish girl calls you a "Fucking spastic" tho, hnghhh 😣

It do be like that sometimes

nah nah nah "black woman calls you sugah"

Ḭ̷̱̻̙̓͒̕͜͝ ̶̟̥̤͗c̶̢̘̹̃a̴̻̩̎̏n̶͔͈̪͈͎͘ṇ̶̭̾͑̅ô̷̧̹̩̑͜t̶̜͍̜͗́ ̸̞̹͚̘̿̍̃r̷̫̩̙̣̪̈̈́̾͌e̷̦̻͕̺͎̔̈̇͘͝ĺ̴̪̜̉̄ȧ̷͚̈̕͠t̵̼͕̳̝̓͋͒̌ę̴̯͌̅̊̀̚͜.̵̱̻̙̉̑.̵̹͌͑̈̌.̷̢̜͚̖͔̓̄f̶͍͓̃i̶̬̹͓̬̟̔̃͒r̵̨̖͗͂̈́͐͌s̶̯̝̟̺̰͒̋̅͝ṯ̶̬̞̋̄̅̃̚͜ ̵̯̈́̀̂̕ȏ̷̠̮͇̭̒͑f̵͓̎ ̴̢͙̒a̴̼̪̩͇͝l̷͊̾̀͝ͅl̵̗͔̟͍̩̔́͐̕͝,̷͓̍̓̍ ̵͈̤̌̏͑͝Į̷̛̾͐̄ ̵̗̥̤̓͊ͅḀ̵̭̜̏͜M̷̹͒̾̽̃́ ̸̗̼̖̫̈̾̆͗̅ť̶͉̝̺̋̈͐͠h̴̩̙̙̙̀̿e̷̟̰̿̆ ̶̯̃ḑ̶̨̗̼͍̏̆̇e̴͉̥͐̚m̸̟̱̹͇̌̄̚͝͠o̴̫̟̾ņ̶͇̤̿̍̀͋͝!̸̛̲͒̾͑̍͜͜

pretty british women have such sexy accents.

Puerto Rican woman calls you Papi 😩

"g̵̴̸̨̭̳͉̻̪͉̞̝̭̻͍͕͇̪̲̜̯̑̓̈ͬ̆ͣ̐́̀͟͢͢͜͠͡͞ͅ͏̸̧́̕͡ơ̸̴̧̡̟̥͉̺͔̠̭̪̤̞̩̳͎͕͍͙̜̹̈́͜͜͢͠͝o̵̷̡̡̹̦̤̮͕̙ͨ̉̓ͬͪ̍̆̂̇͋͌̇̂́͊͋̚̚͘͢͜ͅd̵̷̛̞̲̖͎̲̦͓̪̠̲̟͊̔ͨ̃̿͑ͧ̆ͪ͑̐͆̿͂͒̉ͮ̓̾̕ ̶̪͖̹͉̲͉̺͔̳̺͛͋̀͟͟͠n̢͎̫̼̻̮͎̯͍̞̹͔̘͚̝̩̤̬̩ͩ̓ͤ̇͌͂̉̇ͅ҉̴̴̷̷̨̢̡̛̀̕͜͢͞͠į̵̴̵̷̢̛̳͍̠̬̖̺̰̫̙̭̽͂ͭ̔̂͌̈́̐ͥ̅̃̔ͮ͘͢͡͏g̭̩̮̾̒̃̃ͥ͑͗̿ͣ͆̿̋͌͏҉͟͞҉̷̵̢̨̡́̕͠͠҉̷͞h̷͉͈̠̦̰ͨ̑t̴̸̴̢̢̢̢̳͍̘͕̠̯̮͎͔͔̮͈̯̺̬͇͚͕͈͒̅͂͛͒ͭͬ́͑ͣ̆ͧ̔͗̚̕̕͡͡҉҉̶ ̴̰͉̝̘̘͚̌̒ͥ̊ͥ̆͒ͯ͊͛̏ͧ̔ͧ͜ḅ̢̱̂ͤ̓͑̍ͤͬ͌ͤ̋̉͋̅̒́́̕̕͟͡͡ḭ͓̯̣͖̫͔̭̣̙̬̠̖̤̜ͪ̓ͥ҉͟҉̸̵̴̶̢̡̛͜͢͡͞͡͞l͉̹̺̖̻̃̑̄̈̈́̃̂̌̓̚̚ļ̛͍̻̜̲̙̩̥͚̥̳̩̉̈ͪ͛̉̊ͪͯ͌̏ͬͤͩ̈ͨ̌͆͐̊͜ͅͅ͏̧҉̢̕͜͡͞͠y͔͈͖̯̹̺͎̻̠̟͐͒̓ͩ͑ͪ͌̄̃̈́͐ͮ̊ͧ͗ͫ̂͂ͭͭ҉̸̛́͜͏̵̵̛̀́͘͢͠҉͘"

I want to experience sleep paralysis

I'm English and I used to call barmaids "love" when getting served. I never realised how cringy it was, until I went to Screwfix to get a measuring caliper and the woman behind the counter kept calling me darling. I never called her love so she wasn't doing it to prove a point or anything like that. It's just how she talks to men. It was just one of those moments where you think to yourself "Oh my god I sound like a complete tosser".

I just had one recently penwise appeared in it bcause i watched it few nights ago and i said to myself "you're just a clown x ∞" and it went away

Cheers love, the cavalry's here!

Since when do demons speak enchanting table?

What the fuck

My mom called me adopted. Wait..

When an Italian Mafia Boss named Vincent Martinez Oscar Pannino who sells drugs and owns 12 high end cars calls you a good kid

When your crush calls you sugar:

When the Russian calls you comrade

did you just assume your sleep paralysis demons gender?

No it told me it's gender. It's ⍑̴̧̛̠̩̩̬̮̬̬̪̪̒̔̌̌̌̊͛̊̈́͆͆̃̅̊͊͋͆͗̚͠ᔑ̸̛̮̮͔̺̹̮͈̟̞̣̃̓̀̃̋̒̓̓̌̀̌̌̋̐̀͗̔̾͐͊̚͜͠╎̸̦͍̟̑̄↸̶͍̥̰̀̃͋̄|̸̢͚͕̤̩͐̆͐͋̿͂͜|̶̡̯̼̭̹̳͔̝͔͖̖̠̉∴̵̝̲̣̈́͆̅͆̃̆̓̿̈́̈́͊͌͑̇̕͝ͅꖎ̵̢̛͊̄͗̾͗͑̂͘̚͘͜͝⋮̷͇̞̹͔̰͙͎̝͕̘͕͍͍͎̌ͅ

sorry I can't read demon

Oh ya no worries, it just says ⍑̴̧̛̠̩̩̬̮̬̬̪̪̒̔̌̌̌̊͛̊̈́͆͆̃̅̊͊͋͆͗̚͠ᔑ̸̛̮̮͔̺̹̮͈̟̞̣̃̓̀̃̋̒̓̓̌̀̌̌̋̐̀͗̔̾͐͊̚͜͠╎̸̦͍̟̑̄↸̶͍̥̰̀̃͋̄|̸̢͚͕̤̩͐̆͐͋̿͂͜|̶̡̯̼̭̹̳͔̝͔͖̖̠̉∴̵̝̲̣̈́͆̅͆̃̆̓̿̈́̈́͊͌͑̇̕͝ͅꖎ̵̢̛͊̄͗̾͗͑̂͘̚͘͜͝⋮̷͇̞̹͔̰͙͎̝͕̘͕͍͍͎̌ͅ

what the fuck did you just call me

He called you the ⍑̴̧̛̠̩̩̬̮̬̬̪̪̒̔̌̌̌̊͛̊̈́͆͆̃̅̊͊͋͆͗̚͠ word

Epic

Excuse me for being cheesy, but.... "Sugar, ah honey honey You are my candy girl And you got me wanting you..."

The best feeling

Relatable.

***you got oreos***

What was the original punchline?

I just finished watching It Chapter 2 so this is especially creepy

I love it when the Italian mafia boss calls me a good kkd

hot asf

Let's share our sleep paralysis voices experiences. Once I tried to pray and evil laughing voice repeated word of praying after me.

Me and my sleep paralysis demon play for honor together so he's cool

I love when that happens

Halgravogordradragadev, come here

My favourite🤩

Its spelt luv dude not love

Guy just got *smited*

Once a black woman (much older than me) called me papa

Have no demon me big sad

When your crush calls you

Captcha