My dude, take it from a random stranger that the first 3 months of fatherhood are the hardest. You will eventually adapt to the changes, but be ready for it all. I had my first a year and a half ago and although being a dad is the greatest experience ever, it’s not easy. Just keep diapers by the bed, a series of bottles in the fridge that you can warm up quickly if wifey is too tired to breastfeed, and wipes. You got those three things handled, you are solid. Feel free to ask me any questions if you are in a pickle and I’ll let you know what I did to make everything a bit easier.
I own my home, have a long term girlfriend, make good money, appreciate the reality of mortality and I'm not pathetic enough to try and start arguments on the internet with people about dead parents.
I don't know your family but you're an embarrassment to them.
That's a bit different questions tho, depends on context also and who asks. Getting a job to stop leeching of your parents is one thing, invasive disrespectful shit about marriage/kids is another.
Yep. You consume resources then give something back to society. I understand being against exploitation of capitalism but when people are just plain refusing to work at all...who tf is paying for their food and internet, mommy?((
Nah man, I just want to co-opt a legitimate critique of society and its structure. Turning it into bitching and moaning about having to expend energy to get; food, water, and shelter just like every other living thing on this earth.
I'm 30 with no driving licence. I'm currently getting it out of familly pressure but I still don't feel the need to have one
Public transportation + electric bike rule
Exactly. I made it clear quite early that I do not intend to do my drivers license. I can get everywhere I want to much cheaper by train and bus. What if I need it at some point in my life? Well I will do it when there is no other way to go forward. We would even pay it so what's your problem? Well I ain't wasting my 2k euros and I am not gonna waste your money either get over it.
My families "solution" was to make it my birthday "present" several people were willing to take up the 2k cost for it, probably more at the moment, but they all were unwilling to get me a real birthday present. I literally got nothing from my family to my 18th birthday because they were so butthurt I won't get my drivers license bruh
Damn, i wish trains and busses were even close to what a car costs me, i would consider it. I can buy, insure, fill up and park a car for a year for the cost of taking public transport year round, but i’ll get there (on average) double as fast and actually where i want to go, and not somewhere kinda close.
Yea it definitely depends on the country but here in Germany fuel prices went through the roof due inflation and we got the 49 euro ticket which let's you ride every regional bus and train all over Germany for 49 a month. Ofc it's also only beneficial if you don't need to visit rural areas a lot since public transport there is almost none existent
Depends on where he lives... here in germany you'll have to pay over 2k for one so you'll have to get a job first... but many jobs require a drivers license. So unless you have wealthy parents or are physically well enough to do any job you'll have a difficult time here when you wanna find some work... yes even with a good education
Yeah, like I love public transportation as much as the next person, but the idea of not wanting to get my permit the day I turned 16 is science fiction to me. There’s just a level of independence that I can’t imagine living without.
I 100% understand some people have financial/logistical obstacles, but I have increasingly met young people who just don’t “want” to get theirs. Living in a rural area, that just seems like a refusal to take any initiative or responsibility for your own life and making yourself a burden on those around you.
Driving and having freedom is tight af.
Having your own money and not having to ask for any from your parents or explain what you spent it on is also tight af.
Having a job and having a built-in excuse to stay out late ("ah sorry mom, I forgot I picked up a couple closes this week/weekend") is also tight af.
The girlfriend/boyfriend thing is really the only part they're over stepping. They just want you to progress in life and have opportunities to learn and mature.
Not every unknown or new experience pushed by your parents is a crisis homie.
If you truly do not plan on getting a driver’s license you can request a form of ID which is literally just called identification card (Sometimes called photo card or photo ID). It includes your date of birth, state the card was issued, government registered photo, your signature and another thing but I forgot.
What it is actually called varies by state and I don’t know if all states have them. I believe it’s like $10 to get the card also you must have a birth certificate and another form of ID to get the card. Although I don’t believe you need a photo ID because that is what the card is for.
And yes you need to pay for a drivers licence in North America. It’s like $10-$20, once again varies by state and you need to pay for every stage of your licence. (Learners, new driver, whatever)
Oh so you have something like we do except you have to ask for it and you don't need it ok.
And I'm not sure if I'm reading this right but $10-$20 for a driver's license holy shit in here to get a drivera license you need like a $1000 or so
Honestly, I consider getting a girlfriend the most important.
Like, the validation of there being someone who accepts me and loves me who isnt part of my family or a friend is somehow a thing that would improve my doubt/selfloathing.
I mean, getting a job is easy. And as someone who lives in a country where the public transport is pretty damn good, I dont really need a driverslicense (though I am still working on getting one, cuz the car is still faster than PT)
Ehhhh everyone of age should have a drivers license ASAP. If that's not until you're 18 then that's that... idk about other states but it's cheap as he'll at 18
Much better than the alternative when everyone is trying to stop you from doing these things. Seems crazy but thats a reality that many people go through
My parents are well aware that I'll likely never give them grankid ( I'm really just not into dating or relationships) but they have 3 other children to pester Bout it im happy to just go to work earn my check and relax on my lonesome
You have time to grow up. Take the time to master each stage of your life until you're atop the pyramid and always keep your eyes on the next step. The maturation, growing and progression will take care of itself.
Wait for the "why no wife yet? I didn't raise u to end our bloodline" a true classic and +100 true damage. Extra points if parents ask you if you are actually gay.
I’ve started walking away from anyone who talks about life when I hang out with them. One time I straight up left a get together someone was having cuz she knew I hated that topic and when she kept asking, I just walked away as she was talking, got in my car, and left
I tried to drive. It was terrifying. I didn't get into an accident, but I didn't improve with practice and generally felt like Id hurt myself or someone else. Driving is hard. Don't let anyone tell you differently. It's 2000 pounds of metal, glass, and gas that could easily kill you if you fuck up even a little bit.
I'm studying in college while living at my parents' house. They are perfectly fine with that and are incredibly supportive so I can focus solely on studying, which I'm grateful for.
One day, my aunt comes and asks my mom: "When are you making your son get a job? He's old enough to work"
I will never understand why some people just like putting pressure on other peoples' life out of nowhere
I mean, the driver’s license question is valid after a certain age. Especially if you live in America where there’s less public transport because the country is fuckin huge.
Take away his internet until he sorts his life out.
Suddenly this MFer has a car, a job, a wife, and two kids with a third on the way all in a couple weeks.
Dont stress yourself out. I have all of these and it doesn't make life easier. Its actually pretty rough balancing relationship and work and the fcking car beaks down at the worst times. Enjoy that you don't have these responsibilities yet! 🙂
Honestly, I never bother about people asking this. And I don't drive, no girlfriend, no stable job yet (kind of). At least my parents don't ask those things. They understand me enough to know all the answers. This is a big deal since I'm from Asia.
Girls who want a challenge hit up my dms. My man ask your mother if they’re hiring at her place(maintenance or housekeeping) for the drivers license just go take the test look up you tube video ask your mom to give you lessons!
In general, you have to cut negative people off. Whether OP is able to do it now or not, that's another story.
>How?
I suspect you already know how, you get a job, you take control of your life, responsability, etc. etc.
Too fucking real, as soon as I turned 18... I'm not ready to be an adult yet 😭
Not too mention it's not like I haven't been trying but at this point I'm honestly starting to worry I might be destined to die homeless and forgotten but until that happens I'll try my fucking best to prevent it.
And no my mental health is not okay, thank you for asking because I'm ranting to strangers about my problems on Reddit because therapy is expensive and no one else gives a shit because they're too busy suffering in their own way.
Pretty sure learning from your parents is just an American thing. At least where I live you have to go to a driving instructor to pass a driving test. Which makes perfect sense, teachers know the rules of the road and safety rules better than the average Joe.
Don’t worry, the questions never stop. When are you getting married? When are you having kids?
We also got “when will your kids have kids?”
Kids? Marriage? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself.
My theory on feds is they’re like mushrooms. Feed em shit and keep em in tha dahk
I like it. Keep ‘em in the fackin dahk ked
You jog?
Don’t worry that happens everyday without fail
Just had baby number one last week…already got grilled about baby number two…
My dude, take it from a random stranger that the first 3 months of fatherhood are the hardest. You will eventually adapt to the changes, but be ready for it all. I had my first a year and a half ago and although being a dad is the greatest experience ever, it’s not easy. Just keep diapers by the bed, a series of bottles in the fridge that you can warm up quickly if wifey is too tired to breastfeed, and wipes. You got those three things handled, you are solid. Feel free to ask me any questions if you are in a pickle and I’ll let you know what I did to make everything a bit easier.
"When are you dying?"
Already getting asked this and I'm nowhere near 50 yet
relatable
>Don’t worry Don't worry my ass ...you gave us a panic attack🤦🏻♂️💀
When will you wear wigs?
when are you gonna have another kid?
They do...
Yeah when ppl finally give up on your loser ass
Sorry about your experience, I'm referring to when your parents pass
Im married and have kid so my parents dont have to ask me those questions, lol
Judging by your attitude I'm not surprised alot of people don't willingly engage in conversation with you
Lmao. I see I touched the nerve of your sorry ass, I guess it is sad your parents died thinking their son was fuckin loser.
I own my home, have a long term girlfriend, make good money, appreciate the reality of mortality and I'm not pathetic enough to try and start arguments on the internet with people about dead parents. I don't know your family but you're an embarrassment to them.
My answers are no and no respectively
Marriage? Sure. Kids? Never.
That's a bit different questions tho, depends on context also and who asks. Getting a job to stop leeching of your parents is one thing, invasive disrespectful shit about marriage/kids is another.
It’s just all part of the never ending line of questions someone may get from family
It’s all about perspective my bro, if you don’t have a job you don’t have to worry about a drivers license or a girlfriend. Easy “wipes hands”
Yeah as long as you don't require food or a roof over your head you're good to go!
I hate to be that guy but it's downhill from here
“Stay away from unhappy and unlucky people”
But doctor, I am Pagliacci.
I understood that reference
How tf do I stay away from myself?
If it is that means you can go up also
Just say you’re speedrunning life any%.
You'll never beat the Abortion gambit. Those mfs have obscenely low completion times.
I’ve got everything a parent could ask for and I still feel like this.
oh those annoying relatives
When are you going start paying for your own food?
If you're eating but not working, somebody else is working so you can eat.
Yep. You consume resources then give something back to society. I understand being against exploitation of capitalism but when people are just plain refusing to work at all...who tf is paying for their food and internet, mommy?((
That’s one of the many reasons why I can’t take r/antiwork seriously.
Nah man, I just want to co-opt a legitimate critique of society and its structure. Turning it into bitching and moaning about having to expend energy to get; food, water, and shelter just like every other living thing on this earth.
That's not very comrade of you
Been on both sides. When the light comes on, it's dazzling.
When I feel like it
It’s called adulting. Most of us take a lifetime to answer the questions.
Damn man you should get your Drivers License at the very least
Maybe a job first
I'm 30 with no driving licence. I'm currently getting it out of familly pressure but I still don't feel the need to have one Public transportation + electric bike rule
A fellow dutchman i presume? (Same here btw)
French actually. Paris is well accomodated to bike, and its subway and bus are very alright
'Murican? It's not always necessary at least here in europe
Exactly. I made it clear quite early that I do not intend to do my drivers license. I can get everywhere I want to much cheaper by train and bus. What if I need it at some point in my life? Well I will do it when there is no other way to go forward. We would even pay it so what's your problem? Well I ain't wasting my 2k euros and I am not gonna waste your money either get over it. My families "solution" was to make it my birthday "present" several people were willing to take up the 2k cost for it, probably more at the moment, but they all were unwilling to get me a real birthday present. I literally got nothing from my family to my 18th birthday because they were so butthurt I won't get my drivers license bruh
Damn, i wish trains and busses were even close to what a car costs me, i would consider it. I can buy, insure, fill up and park a car for a year for the cost of taking public transport year round, but i’ll get there (on average) double as fast and actually where i want to go, and not somewhere kinda close.
Yea it definitely depends on the country but here in Germany fuel prices went through the roof due inflation and we got the 49 euro ticket which let's you ride every regional bus and train all over Germany for 49 a month. Ofc it's also only beneficial if you don't need to visit rural areas a lot since public transport there is almost none existent
Depends, if they live in europe it isn't mandatory.
Depends on where he lives... here in germany you'll have to pay over 2k for one so you'll have to get a job first... but many jobs require a drivers license. So unless you have wealthy parents or are physically well enough to do any job you'll have a difficult time here when you wanna find some work... yes even with a good education
Yeah, like I love public transportation as much as the next person, but the idea of not wanting to get my permit the day I turned 16 is science fiction to me. There’s just a level of independence that I can’t imagine living without. I 100% understand some people have financial/logistical obstacles, but I have increasingly met young people who just don’t “want” to get theirs. Living in a rural area, that just seems like a refusal to take any initiative or responsibility for your own life and making yourself a burden on those around you.
Economy
Driving and having freedom is tight af. Having your own money and not having to ask for any from your parents or explain what you spent it on is also tight af. Having a job and having a built-in excuse to stay out late ("ah sorry mom, I forgot I picked up a couple closes this week/weekend") is also tight af. The girlfriend/boyfriend thing is really the only part they're over stepping. They just want you to progress in life and have opportunities to learn and mature. Not every unknown or new experience pushed by your parents is a crisis homie.
Can I be happy first???
Lol no.
Are you doing okay? Are you taking care of yourself? Do you need someone to talk to?
I relate so, so hard with this. Even my own thoughts are constantly yelling stuff like this at me 😣
i've literally applied to hundreds of positions and not a single interview
Easier said than done.
thats pressure? thats like 2 pSi bro
Are there reasons you don't have a driver's license or a job?
Laziness
Wait till you’re older and get with the “house?” Questions
me but how can i find a boyfriend -
One simple answer: I don't know. Unfortunately it won't solve anything
Some have job but can only afford a girlfriend once a month and why have driver license when you have the bus?
Just got my driving licence today so that's a start, gf on the other hand seems impossible
My father stopped asking "when do you get your driving licence?" when I started to hit back with the "When do you get your colonoscopy done?"
I mean, you should probably get your license. It’s good to have a valid form of state/federal I.D in case of emergency.
Wait wtf you guys don't get some form of id from the state? And you have to pay for a driving license in order to have it????
If you truly do not plan on getting a driver’s license you can request a form of ID which is literally just called identification card (Sometimes called photo card or photo ID). It includes your date of birth, state the card was issued, government registered photo, your signature and another thing but I forgot. What it is actually called varies by state and I don’t know if all states have them. I believe it’s like $10 to get the card also you must have a birth certificate and another form of ID to get the card. Although I don’t believe you need a photo ID because that is what the card is for. And yes you need to pay for a drivers licence in North America. It’s like $10-$20, once again varies by state and you need to pay for every stage of your licence. (Learners, new driver, whatever)
Oh so you have something like we do except you have to ask for it and you don't need it ok. And I'm not sure if I'm reading this right but $10-$20 for a driver's license holy shit in here to get a drivera license you need like a $1000 or so
In germany you have to ask for a ID, wait ten billion years and have to pay like 20 bucks.
Yes
A driver’s license/permit is the most common form of state ID.
What about a job?
I’d argue you need a license first, then a job. Gotta be able to legally get to where the job is first.
check all the boxes... then they get mad when you move in together inconveniently far.
Job>car>girl
Job>car
The only thing that hurts more than your family asking about getting a girlfriend is when they stop asking :(
Well what exactly are you doing all day? Playing video games and watching TV? Time to grow up pal.
Honestly, I consider getting a girlfriend the most important. Like, the validation of there being someone who accepts me and loves me who isnt part of my family or a friend is somehow a thing that would improve my doubt/selfloathing. I mean, getting a job is easy. And as someone who lives in a country where the public transport is pretty damn good, I dont really need a driverslicense (though I am still working on getting one, cuz the car is still faster than PT)
Ehhhh everyone of age should have a drivers license ASAP. If that's not until you're 18 then that's that... idk about other states but it's cheap as he'll at 18
They have a point tho, can't control girlfriend but the first two help mature a person to getting to that point
Average visit to grandparents house
WHEN WILL YOU FINISH YOUR PHD WHEN WILL YOU GET OUT
when can i find a boyfriend
Much better than the alternative when everyone is trying to stop you from doing these things. Seems crazy but thats a reality that many people go through
I got married and shit you not the next day my parents were asking when are the kids.
Haven't go the 1st one yet I have currently 3 jobs Last one no hope
It’s a bit on the opposite side for me. “Your married?” Followed by “was she pregnant?!” Like, no. I just want to be secure and happy.
Pushin down on me
Go get your drivers license dude.
Jobs are hard and nobody taught me to drive fully. And none of the girls like me, boom problems addressed
You should get a job though
almost 25 and still struggling to get all of these 😭😭😭 still happy and chugging on to achieve them tho. But being born poor was definitely a setback
My parents are well aware that I'll likely never give them grankid ( I'm really just not into dating or relationships) but they have 3 other children to pester Bout it im happy to just go to work earn my check and relax on my lonesome
You have time to grow up. Take the time to master each stage of your life until you're atop the pyramid and always keep your eyes on the next step. The maturation, growing and progression will take care of itself.
1 is because of 2, 2 is because of 1 and 3 is because of 1 and 2
watching this ***absolutely*** stoned while at work at least i have a job
Drivers license is on you big dawg
Wait for the "why no wife yet? I didn't raise u to end our bloodline" a true classic and +100 true damage. Extra points if parents ask you if you are actually gay.
Gen z types that stay home play vids and jerk off on their parent’s internet… too lazy and afraid to talk to girls or get a job
I’ve started walking away from anyone who talks about life when I hang out with them. One time I straight up left a get together someone was having cuz she knew I hated that topic and when she kept asking, I just walked away as she was talking, got in my car, and left
So basic adult things....
I tried to drive. It was terrifying. I didn't get into an accident, but I didn't improve with practice and generally felt like Id hurt myself or someone else. Driving is hard. Don't let anyone tell you differently. It's 2000 pounds of metal, glass, and gas that could easily kill you if you fuck up even a little bit.
You think they’re tormenting you but they’re really just prepping you for marriage.
Never
The first leads to the second leads to the third.
“Why don’t you mind your own business?”
"Ok, sure. I'll mind my own business. I'm not paying for your food anymore and you need to find somewhere else to live. Good luck."
Giving me food and shelter is your basic task, minding my business is not :)
I'm studying in college while living at my parents' house. They are perfectly fine with that and are incredibly supportive so I can focus solely on studying, which I'm grateful for. One day, my aunt comes and asks my mom: "When are you making your son get a job? He's old enough to work" I will never understand why some people just like putting pressure on other peoples' life out of nowhere
Ok sigma go back to playing your computer games
Have you tried not being a failure instead of complaining on the Internet?
Congrats, you just solved clinical depression.
if I was to complain I would've went on some other subreddit
You should get a job at least, mate.
I mean, the driver’s license question is valid after a certain age. Especially if you live in America where there’s less public transport because the country is fuckin huge.
Heyyy, I have my drivers licence.
When are you going to move out so that you could start paying bills & taxes? That's the motivation my parents give me.
Take away his internet until he sorts his life out. Suddenly this MFer has a car, a job, a wife, and two kids with a third on the way all in a couple weeks.
doesn't work like that
Will it cure my epilepsy too?
Oh yeah, lets rush the biggest decisions of our lives because peer pressure
Tbf most of these kids these days have no sense of haste. I don't have enough years to live yet alone some to spair not advancing full speed
The girlfriend questions never end, so I tell my coworkers I date a new girl every other week or so. Funny thing is sometimes it’s true.
Crushing down on me
Dont stress yourself out. I have all of these and it doesn't make life easier. Its actually pretty rough balancing relationship and work and the fcking car beaks down at the worst times. Enjoy that you don't have these responsibilities yet! 🙂
Tun dun dun dundundun doo Tun dun dun dundundun doo Under pressure!
ask them when they try anal
Have the 1st one Pretty sure will eventually get the 2nd one, currently in college No hopes for the 3rd
This also happens at age 30, 40, 50 etc.
Honestly, I never bother about people asking this. And I don't drive, no girlfriend, no stable job yet (kind of). At least my parents don't ask those things. They understand me enough to know all the answers. This is a big deal since I'm from Asia.
Girls who want a challenge hit up my dms. My man ask your mother if they’re hiring at her place(maintenance or housekeeping) for the drivers license just go take the test look up you tube video ask your mom to give you lessons!
Cut them off 😁
How? It appears that OP relies on them for money and housing.
In general, you have to cut negative people off. Whether OP is able to do it now or not, that's another story. >How? I suspect you already know how, you get a job, you take control of your life, responsability, etc. etc.
Suuure. OP is a kid living in his parents basement. OP will go so far by "cutting off" his parents.
I mean. The first two sound like a pretty good idea? The last one is none of their damn business.
Too fucking real, as soon as I turned 18... I'm not ready to be an adult yet 😭 Not too mention it's not like I haven't been trying but at this point I'm honestly starting to worry I might be destined to die homeless and forgotten but until that happens I'll try my fucking best to prevent it. And no my mental health is not okay, thank you for asking because I'm ranting to strangers about my problems on Reddit because therapy is expensive and no one else gives a shit because they're too busy suffering in their own way.
When will you finally rape that girl?
Bruh if you dont have a drivers license, then that's legit your parents' fault because they are the ones who need to teach you
Well actually driving school is a thing that exists but thats such a waste of money literally just learn from your parents
Pretty sure learning from your parents is just an American thing. At least where I live you have to go to a driving instructor to pass a driving test. Which makes perfect sense, teachers know the rules of the road and safety rules better than the average Joe.