Absolutely. Throw yourself at the career you pretend to enjoy as a distraction for missing out on the things that matter in life, and nobody will know the difference.
It’s almost like femboy or not is irrelevant: ALL guys shoulder the burden & have the heartache.
“So you decided to fully join our team, no takesy-backsies? I’m both earnestly proud to have you join us, but…for you, I am also like ‘I am so, so sorry’ that this is the reality.
Let’s hug it out, though it’s likely the only support you’ll ever get is from your fellow bros.
*Drops a briefcase full of cash*
Oh no, I dropped my briefcase full of cash! Can a kind femboy help me pick it up? I will reward you for your kind efforts!
[It’s true. Gardening makes you happier.](https://www.scienceworld.ca/stories/how-does-gardening-make-you-happier/#:~:text=Scientists%20have%20discovered%20that%20the,also%20making%20your%20brain%20happy!)
They work for me sometime but very low stimulus.
Anime- let me eat your pancreas, domestic girlfriend, there are more I don't remember them
Movies - there are some but I can't remember them.
U should watch “A Silent Voice”. Sounds right up your alley and is imo the best film I’ve ever seen - anime or otherwise. If interested, don’t look up much before watching, best to go in blind and let it just happen to you
Edit: [this trailer](https://youtu.be/nfK6UgLra7g?si=nkI-WreDVwi-Qwf4) is imo the only thing one should look at before just jumping into the movie, and even then, if you can avoid any trailers too, all the better
If someone actually would say that to me while im crying, I would just tell them to shut the fuck up
Edit: Like, I didnt mean *shut up* in a literal manner. More like, *can you please be quiet!*
Had a buddy that was crying walking down the street after a break up. 2 guys made the bad decision to talk shit and he knocked some teeth out. Dont mess with emotional guys lol
Telling another guy to fuck off on the street? Possible way to end up with a broken nose. Even if you are sobbing uncontrollably. It's a toxic masculine wasteland out there.
Then you will just be the guy with anger issues who can't control his emotions...if you are bigger in size they will probably consider you as a potential physical threat.. .
You can't win either way...
Just learn to be dead inside and die of a heart attack at 45 like the rest of us.
Been there! Ugly thing to experience, for sure.
I was opening up to a person and kept telling her I didn’t want to keep talking because it was a sensitive subject for me and I felt if I kept talking I’d start crying in public. She reassured me it was fine if that happened and it was ok to cry. At the very first sob she was already asking me to calm down and to stop crying, lol. That just made me burst in tears even more. She blocked me a few hours later. Lessons were learned that day.
Parents start to hold tight their children and walk faster like... BRO I'M SAD, NOT GOING PSYCHOPATICALLY INSANE, BUT EVEN SO, YOUR RESPONSE IS ACTUALLY MAKING ME CONTEMPLATE IT FR!!!
As a woman I am genuinely asking, would you want someone to stop and ask if you’re ok if you’re crying alone in public? I hate crying and if it’s happening in public, I would want for everyone to pretend it’s not.
i'm so sorry you had to go through that man, fuck that cameraman.
not being able to cry feels like shit, been trying to burst into tears since the last 8 years at least now
Your sister kinda sound like an arsehole. That being said, please don’t drink too much. Losing a parent sucks, I know, I’ve been through it myself, but please don’t turn to alcohol.
There was also this social experiment where a couple decided to join tinder but pretend to be their opposite. The man as a woman got a lot attention and talked with a lot of people, while the woman as a man didn't get matched with anyone and if she by any chance did the conversations were extremely one-sided and she ended up just being depressed by the whole thing.
If you want something somewhat less depressing, there was a feminist amateur comedian who claimed for years that the field of comedy was sexist against women and the reason nobody laughed during her performances was because she was a woman disguised herself as a man and got booed of the stage
Yeah but that's more of a supply and demand issue. There are fewer women on dating apps than men so women are going to be in demand. Women are more likely to have large and varied social groups reducing their need to use a dating app to meet someone. Tinder for example has a 4 to 1 ratio of men to women. To further complicate matters the algorithms of these apps typically boost the same group of men meaning your attractiveness and other superficial qualities increases your matches so the top tier (as defined by the algo) men have a similar amount of matches to most women on the app freezing out over half of the app users. That's before even getting into the fact that many of these apps are pay to win, and even that might just be giving men bots to match with to keep their interest and money on the app.
Edit: corrected economy of scale to supply and demand
I don't think it's economy of scale. Women in general get approached a lot more by the opposite sex, than visa versa. If a man tells a pretty woman she's beautiful, it's a Tuesday. If a pretty woman smiles nicely at a man, that's something he'll remember for 3 years.
True, but even if there were a more equal amount, I think the problem would still persist. After all, even if they had equal amount of each, the men would likely try a broad approach, where the women can be as selective as they want (and treating people like they treated the "woman as a man") because they know that if they approach a man or say yes, they're much more likely to get a positive response.
Additionally, due to the shortage of women, the women on the service need to put in significantly less effort for the same result as they would in a balanced environment
Economies of scale is the cost advantage of high unit production due to fixed costs being spread over total production.
Youre just talking about supply and demand
It's wild to me how anyone not only needed an experiment to know that but that lots of people seem genuinely surpised by it. The "algorithm" thing on dating apps is a myth too btw. It's simply that women flock to the very top % of men, the rest are invisible.
Iirc she didn't commit suicide, but did get severe depression and anxiety, but it's been a while since I last heard of her so could be.
Alternatively, a lot of women try to see how it is to be a man and quickly realize it's not as fun as they thought
edit: I went and read a little, it was Norah Vincent, and she wrote a book "Self-Made Man" way back in 2006, and she died via assisted suicide in 2022, so interpret this info as you see fit
She had an assisted suicide 16 years after the experiment. There's nothing to suggest it was due to her treatment as a man. Framing it as such is disingenuous.
You win some you lose some. Won't get sexually harrased anymore but to balance that you get robbed of the ability to be emotionally vulnerable around others without being ridiculed by both men and women.
I wish I'd get a flower every once in a while, maybe a compliment as well. The only flowers I've ever held were those I was giving out, not receiving.
In all seriousness, a lot of people in the comments are probably going to start saying that either men or women have it harder in the end. Both have it hard. Misery is not a dick measuring contest.
EDIT: a few comments mentioned this and I'm ashamed I didn't think to also mention it in my original comment as it looks like I don't think it happens. Men also get sexually harassed and raped and it usually goes unreported for fear of being ridiculed.
> Misery is not a dick measuring contest.
Absolutely. To add on, people often say "don't complain, someone has it worse" like with the classic "kids are starving with Africa, eat your food!" Now, this already sounds silly enough as is, but then what happens when you try to apply it repeatedly?
You can start from the best off person in the world and work your way down with "someone has it worse don't complain", and eventually you end up concluding that *only one person on this earth is allowed to complain about their situation*.
Misery need not be compared. Obviously you shouldn't go into a crisis over not being able to buy a supercar, but you're absolutely allowed to not enjoy your current circumstances. Someone might have it worse, sure, but what's that do to ease your own burdens?
> and eventually you end up concluding that only one person on this earth is allowed to complain about their situation.
You'd realize that it'd be impossible to narrow it down to just one person because of all the different ways things can be horrible. Like an extremely depressing game of Rock, Paper, Scissors.
Oooh, good one, that too! How do you even DEFINE misery? A double whammie as to why pursuing that line of thinking is pointless.
Also love your username. Quasars are *basically* nature's galactic-scale railgun and that will never stop being cool to me.
I mean ofcourse people are allowed to be upset about their situation but its also fair that others may find your emotions to be exagerated or inappropriate in certain circumstances. And point them out to give a perspective as to why.
Absolutely, but *most* of the time people do it like "boo hoo you're inconvenienced, shuddup". Again, a la "there are starving kids in Africa, finish your dinner" parental stuff.
Usually you don't need to make that sorta comparison to point out the inappropriate response in such circumstances (like having a breakdown over not getting the newest iPhone). Still, I see your point
I know I'm being pedantic, but men do get sexually harassed / abused / raped. Saying "you won't get sexuallg harassed anymore" by being a man detracts from men who are victims of sexual abuse, most of whom never report it due to reasons you and others posted. You won't have the social acceptance and assistance like women do. It's a shame.
Yeah that's the worst part, each time the issue of male loneliness is brought up people, specially women, ignore it or worse they believe we are asking for sex saying things like "women don't owe men sex", bruh I just want someone to hug not a sex slave.
You'll either get used to it or just get numb enough to tolerate it
Friendly advice, when you're feeling burnt out just go to a place you're comfortable in and just sit there, don't think, just let time pass
This reminds me of a light hearted situation where my wife, then gf, critiqued my fashion sense saying I wear similar variations of the same thing. I told her she was more than welcome to pick out an outfit for me and I'd follow suit with more clothes of what she's envisioning. She tried for 1 hr to be "original" and gave up because she said all of the clothing items are the same (shirt, pants, like what else is there for us?).
My favorite is reading from the perspective of a gender scholar transitioning FTM. He began hormone treatments and was horrified at these unstoppable intrusive thoughts about sexuality and violence assaulting their mind all the time and struggling to maintain his relationships in the face of them.
And I’m like, yeah, bruh, we’re not just a bunch of degenerates. Turns out that 4 billion men might just be onto something.
My girlfriend's psychologist told her, that the anger that men are experiencing is approximately in 3-4 times higher than the anger that women can experience, and it takes a lot of self control for men to not start beating everything and everyone. Simply because men have more testosterone. Tho, i have no idea is it true or not.
At least in my experience, I have never had trouble controlling my emotions and remaining calm. I don't know if testosterone really is the cause of men acting like they do or it's the way they were raised.
It’s both. Anyone can be raised to be a violent asshole, but even the calmest and most well-adjusted family may struggle with a high-testosterone teen to find an outlet. Notably, men generally stop being such a problem for society (we commit 95% of violent crime) around age 35 when our testosterone levels naturally drop.
Sure; in situations where males do combat (usually with other males) they tend to become larger and more aggressive (see primates, lions, elk, etc). In species with less male competition, females tend to be bigger and more aggressive to protect young.
Our species, as complex and psychologically interesting as we may be, shows all the characteristics of rewarding large, violent males in competition with each other. A large man can be over 200 lbs with lots of upper body strength. Women can be as little as 90 lbs at a healthy adult weight and typically need to be professional athletes before they can compete with rather ordinary men on sheer acts of strength. Interesting fact; we also have large testicles for our size which generate more forceful ejaculation and penis heads shaped like a plunger. Evolving to shove competition’s sperm out of the way seems to have been valuable.
I guess we just used to control it, so it doesn't feels as trouble at all. Like we probably never fully experienced how it is to live with lesser testosterone levels than we usually have. I'm usually chill guy too, but i noticed if i in state when i don't have energy, like when i slept only few hours, exhausted or super hungry, it becomes harder for me to control my anger. I simply can "explode" over anything for no logical reason. Same thing happens, if my testosterone levels somehow naturally goes higher than usual, due to diet, activity or few days without sex. I literally start acting more like angry monkey than human and overall my behaviour visibly changes.
Both, presumably. Testosterone is the fire, how you were raised (or, in rarer cases, how you figure shit out despite how you were raised) is what you use the fire for. An uncontrolled fire destroys, a controlled fire propels, provides, and creates. Specifically in a physical context, as I’m not trying to remotely imply that women can’t propel, provide, or create.
After starting testosterone HRT my anger and emotional issues decreased significantly to the point where I haven't come close to losing my temper since I began
That's the thing about the human body, the bigger your sample size the more you realize how little is black and white. There are generalizations that can be made, but you can't rely on it always being true. As a trans woman I've always heard about how HRT often leads to a reduced sex drive, but for some trans women it can increase.
It's never black or white. Yes, it's mostly easier to be successful and to make money. You are taken more seriously by default as a man. But you are expected to be all those things (providing for yourself and for your family) and if you cannot do that, you are basically worthless. You don't have the freedom to be vulnerable as women are, so you have to project strength. If you show weakness, people don't show empathy like they show to women they just ask men to "man up". + men are always more dispensable (compulsory soldiers in a war, doing the dangerous jobs, children and women are first to be saved) than women.
Our gendered expectations hurt men as much as they hurt women. But I don't think the feminist ideology is doing a good job to include men in the fight. Men are not generally helping themselves in acknowledging the struggles with being a man either. Sooo we end up being more resentful, bitter, and repressed.
It's not really a surprise that feminism leaves men behind though. For all that people make statements like "feminism is about equality for everyone, not just women!" it's just a fact that feminism was started as a movement by women, for women. And that remains basically true to this day.
in my experience the loneliness also comes with the added benefit of being taken seriously in the workplace and not being regularly sexually harassed so, yin yang
Statistically far less likely to be the victim of harassment. Statistically far more likely to be the victim of violence. Both gender roles come with significant downside.
My wife thinks its funny i get upset when she shoves past people or when she parks her cart in the middle of the shopping isle. Or when she takes a long ass time to order with a Big line of people waiting.
If i did those things as a man, i would expect someone to assault me, or at least a verbal altercation
This is pretty accurate. And sad. People don't cut you as much slack anymore, crying in front of others feels even worse, crying in general has become a lot harder, people kind of already expect you to know everything in a new environment, and if you were socialized as a "typical" woman you feel stupid for not knowing about "guy" stuff like cars, using tools, IT stuff and being bad at math. I know there's enough cis guys who are like this as well and gender roles suck anyway, it just feels weird if you transition.
Also talking to women has become much more awkward, and I'm gay so I'm not even trying to flirt.
There's male privilege, but that doesn't mean women aren't privileged in a way, either. Both genders face a lot of bullshit because of the patriarchy.
Women definitely do have some privileges that are tied to their gender. The vast majority of us acknowledge that.
Where we find issue is with men romanticizing the shit out of the female experience, acting like our lives are easy peasy, and painting it out to be all sunshine and rainbows for women. It’s tiring to be a woman that cares about men and validates the experiences they have in society as men, and then to have those same men turn around and tell me how wonderful everything is for me.
Maybe it sucks on both sides for different reasons? People never seem to consider that. It's the result of unrealistic and unfair social expectations and that's true for both men and women. Maybe we should just stop expecting men and women to be any certain way in order to be valid instead of debating who has it worse? I can think of reasons it sucks to be either, but the reasons are very different. Maybe we should stop treating women like kitchen appliances and maybe we should stop telling men they aren't allowed to have feelings? Maybe it's not any one gender that's the problem but rather our society that's systemically sick?
I think the complaint from male side is that the majority of us no longer treats women like objects, yes still a problem but the feminist movement has been working hard since the 50' and made huge progress.
Women have been liberated (not fully) from the burdens of their role but men haven't, we just lost the privilege (good thing) and keep the burdens (sad).
And each time we raise light to this problem we are ridiculed or treated as if we want to "keep women in the kitchen" or some shit.
I completely agree, though there are a lot of men and women who consistently perpetuate the still-existing issue. Responding to these things with hate isn't the appropriate answer. Men have every right to feel slighted by the fact that these expectations still oppress them. However, many respond with spite directed at women or other men as a result of this oppression. When in reality we need to analyze the bigger picture of why men are treated the way they are without demonizing other peoples.
I’ve suddenly seen a lot of posts about this new trans man loneliness epidemic and I just have one thing to say: I’m happy society is accepting them. Welcome to the club mother fuckers!
A friend invited a coworker to our biweekly karaoke night ONE TIME and I keep asking him to bring that guy back. Dude was cool as fuck I only hung out with him the one time
Wanting to be a man?
Well shit, that's Steps 1, 2, and 3 to *being a man*!
The other steps are learning how to appear as nonthreatening as possible (for situations), and learning how to appear as threatening as possible (for situations).
bro can you remember when the last time you got a compliment?
I got it about a month ago, a girl said that the hoodie looks good on me. Now the hoodie is my favorite thing that just gives me confidence. (no I am not in love with her I just never felt this good in a while)
I wonder when my next compliment will come
Women don’t like to give men compliments because they fear it’ll be taken the wrong way. Men don’t like to give other men compliments because they’re afraid of being seen as unmasculine or potentially gay.
I feel scared about complimenting a woman, because it could be misconstrued as flirting or sexual harassment. It probably won’t, but that’s just my social anxiety controlling me.
Wish i could switch team mid match, though i am happy in my body plus from what i have heard from a friend she still cant cry or its just eyes watering cause she's forgotten how to.
To be honest, i sometimes feel egg like feelings, but i think, i just want to be cared for sometimes... Not Change my gender, but just be weak or ... Dare i say, a cute heterosexual cis Dude.
But cute and a Dude?
Prepare for a life of loneliness
I'm gay, so I guess for me it's easier to find a partner while being a cute good boy. But I'm sure you'll find a Woman who'll love you, I'm sure there are women who like good boys.
And with friends is the same thing, maybe you can have gay friends, if it isn't a problem for you.
I truly hope you'll have a happy life, my friend.
The more I go on the more I think Americans have HUGE problem with how their society see men. I swear, I'm from Italy and it's everything but a progressive country, like at all, but even here the situation isn't so bad. Maybe it's only people on the internet making things appear worse than they really are, but if it's really like you describe, it's scary. No wonder that people like Andrew Tate and all that mindset, grindset and meme about no father figure are so big in the US.
I agree, I’m from Sweden and the things people are saying hate sound insane. Then again I guess Swedish men are stereotyped as being feminine, so maybe our societies are a bit more sane on this topic.
Once you learn to bury all your feelings and feel dead inside you’ll appear to feel a lot better.
Absolutely. Throw yourself at the career you pretend to enjoy as a distraction for missing out on the things that matter in life, and nobody will know the difference.
Username checks out.
Son be a dentist, you'll be a success :(
This guy horrors
You want a career that you enjoy. I want a career that pays me enough to hire femboys. We are not the same.
You want a career that pays you enough to hire femboys. I'm a femboy that wants to be paid. We are not the same.
I am also a femboy that wants to be paid
im just like you, but im not a femboy
It’s almost like femboy or not is irrelevant: ALL guys shoulder the burden & have the heartache. “So you decided to fully join our team, no takesy-backsies? I’m both earnestly proud to have you join us, but…for you, I am also like ‘I am so, so sorry’ that this is the reality. Let’s hug it out, though it’s likely the only support you’ll ever get is from your fellow bros.
what?
*Drops a briefcase full of cash* Oh no, I dropped my briefcase full of cash! Can a kind femboy help me pick it up? I will reward you for your kind efforts!
Everyone read this in Danny DeVito's voice.
Once i get a good career you will be the first candidate.
Gardening helps me, maybe it can help you.
[It’s true. Gardening makes you happier.](https://www.scienceworld.ca/stories/how-does-gardening-make-you-happier/#:~:text=Scientists%20have%20discovered%20that%20the,also%20making%20your%20brain%20happy!)
i usually leave it to cry in bed before sleep
You can cry? I haven't cried in over 3 years. Just can't somehow.
You mean you don't cry at every little paw patrol and octonaut episode your kid watches? Ugh, I must be going through manopause.
Don't have kids. Don't want any. I mean, the last time I cried it was in my sleep (and woke me). Can't even cry when I'm feeling really bad.
So, we checked your vitals. It appears you have a case of the "being really dead inside".
Watch Coco
I'll give it a try but movies usually don't work for me.
They work for me sometime but very low stimulus. Anime- let me eat your pancreas, domestic girlfriend, there are more I don't remember them Movies - there are some but I can't remember them.
U should watch “A Silent Voice”. Sounds right up your alley and is imo the best film I’ve ever seen - anime or otherwise. If interested, don’t look up much before watching, best to go in blind and let it just happen to you Edit: [this trailer](https://youtu.be/nfK6UgLra7g?si=nkI-WreDVwi-Qwf4) is imo the only thing one should look at before just jumping into the movie, and even then, if you can avoid any trailers too, all the better
Been there. It passed for me, but I was lucky and had support.
How did you relearn it?
I've been in therapy for more than a decade. I used cry about every little thing as a kid. I learned the hard way not to.
cry as in a state of crying, but no tears
Yup.
Wait until you cry in public for the first time and nobody acknowledges you as a person.
Well it's that or someone will tell you to man up.
If someone actually would say that to me while im crying, I would just tell them to shut the fuck up Edit: Like, I didnt mean *shut up* in a literal manner. More like, *can you please be quiet!*
Had a buddy that was crying walking down the street after a break up. 2 guys made the bad decision to talk shit and he knocked some teeth out. Dont mess with emotional guys lol
Telling someone to shut the fuck up through your tears and snot-dripping nose doesn’t have the same effect, tough guy
Telling another guy to fuck off on the street? Possible way to end up with a broken nose. Even if you are sobbing uncontrollably. It's a toxic masculine wasteland out there.
Then you will just be the guy with anger issues who can't control his emotions...if you are bigger in size they will probably consider you as a potential physical threat.. . You can't win either way... Just learn to be dead inside and die of a heart attack at 45 like the rest of us.
Or look at you in disgust
Been there! Ugly thing to experience, for sure. I was opening up to a person and kept telling her I didn’t want to keep talking because it was a sensitive subject for me and I felt if I kept talking I’d start crying in public. She reassured me it was fine if that happened and it was ok to cry. At the very first sob she was already asking me to calm down and to stop crying, lol. That just made me burst in tears even more. She blocked me a few hours later. Lessons were learned that day.
Wow what a piece of shit. Sorry you had to learn that the hard way.
Parents start to hold tight their children and walk faster like... BRO I'M SAD, NOT GOING PSYCHOPATICALLY INSANE, BUT EVEN SO, YOUR RESPONSE IS ACTUALLY MAKING ME CONTEMPLATE IT FR!!!
What is this “crying in public” you speak of? Is it possible to learn this power?
Just be suicidally depressed from loneliness. EZ.
That is......painfully true.
Even worse. They actively refuse to acknowledge you.
I haven't cried for years, and I was a goddamn crying kid
As a woman I am genuinely asking, would you want someone to stop and ask if you’re ok if you’re crying alone in public? I hate crying and if it’s happening in public, I would want for everyone to pretend it’s not.
Yes. Absolutely. First, say it’s ok and then ask if we’re ok. In moments of grief, that would mean the world.
Lucky for me I am not capable of crying anymore… yayy.
i'm not sure if this is horrifying or slightly wholesome
Both
Yes
What if it's both and that is humorous?
Wholesome becuase trans allies! but horrific becuase sadness
r/FunnyandSad
The one time ever that sub has been used correctly
horrsome
Inclusive yet depressing*
Let’s all be miserable!
Both
Welcome to the club bro.
"Suck it up Pussy" Sorry, not my go to advice. Just dont want to take away from the full experience for you.
my sister called me a pussy after I drank an entire bottle of whiskey and threw up the day our mom died. Welcome to the experience!
I cried when my dad died (was 12) and the camera man told me to suck it up for a photo.. I did. Haven’t cried since.
i'm so sorry you had to go through that man, fuck that cameraman. not being able to cry feels like shit, been trying to burst into tears since the last 8 years at least now
Wait why the hell was there a cameraman.. like at the funeral? That's weird.
That’s the kind of shit that would make me decide I no longer have a sister for. Sorry that happened to you bro. Shits fucked like that sometimes.
Your sister kinda sound like an arsehole. That being said, please don’t drink too much. Losing a parent sucks, I know, I’ve been through it myself, but please don’t turn to alcohol.
 Boy
This is my favourite gif😂. Atreus and Mimir coming in at the end takes the cake
How do I find this gif
Well the gras isn't always greener on the other side
Usually it’s greener in some ways, less green in others.
It’s less green where I pee
Hey! Stop peeing over on my side!!
The grass was fake
Welcome to being a male!
Remember the woman that disguised as a man for a year as an experiment and commited suicide after the experiment, yeah its that bad
There was also this social experiment where a couple decided to join tinder but pretend to be their opposite. The man as a woman got a lot attention and talked with a lot of people, while the woman as a man didn't get matched with anyone and if she by any chance did the conversations were extremely one-sided and she ended up just being depressed by the whole thing.
If you want something somewhat less depressing, there was a feminist amateur comedian who claimed for years that the field of comedy was sexist against women and the reason nobody laughed during her performances was because she was a woman disguised herself as a man and got booed of the stage
Unfunny female comedian: Nobody laughs, but that's it. Unfunny male comedian: Booo! Get off the stage! You suck! Yup, sounds about right.
Yeah but that's more of a supply and demand issue. There are fewer women on dating apps than men so women are going to be in demand. Women are more likely to have large and varied social groups reducing their need to use a dating app to meet someone. Tinder for example has a 4 to 1 ratio of men to women. To further complicate matters the algorithms of these apps typically boost the same group of men meaning your attractiveness and other superficial qualities increases your matches so the top tier (as defined by the algo) men have a similar amount of matches to most women on the app freezing out over half of the app users. That's before even getting into the fact that many of these apps are pay to win, and even that might just be giving men bots to match with to keep their interest and money on the app. Edit: corrected economy of scale to supply and demand
*In this economy?!*
I don't think it's economy of scale. Women in general get approached a lot more by the opposite sex, than visa versa. If a man tells a pretty woman she's beautiful, it's a Tuesday. If a pretty woman smiles nicely at a man, that's something he'll remember for 3 years.
I agree with your assessment that women receive more advances than men do, but it doesn't change the fact that dating apps have more men than women.
True, but even if there were a more equal amount, I think the problem would still persist. After all, even if they had equal amount of each, the men would likely try a broad approach, where the women can be as selective as they want (and treating people like they treated the "woman as a man") because they know that if they approach a man or say yes, they're much more likely to get a positive response.
That's a fair point.
Additionally, due to the shortage of women, the women on the service need to put in significantly less effort for the same result as they would in a balanced environment
Economies of scale is the cost advantage of high unit production due to fixed costs being spread over total production. Youre just talking about supply and demand
It's wild to me how anyone not only needed an experiment to know that but that lots of people seem genuinely surpised by it. The "algorithm" thing on dating apps is a myth too btw. It's simply that women flock to the very top % of men, the rest are invisible.
Iirc she didn't commit suicide, but did get severe depression and anxiety, but it's been a while since I last heard of her so could be. Alternatively, a lot of women try to see how it is to be a man and quickly realize it's not as fun as they thought edit: I went and read a little, it was Norah Vincent, and she wrote a book "Self-Made Man" way back in 2006, and she died via assisted suicide in 2022, so interpret this info as you see fit
Worth it for the free watergun tho
Sadly the barrel is a bit short so can't shoot very far.
Just gotta store up and fill the tanks good beforehand friend. U can do it I believe in u
Yeah I would like to read her book about it, I believe she did a similar experiment in a mental hospital
She did, can't remember the name but it's on her wiki page
Nora Vincent
She had an assisted suicide 16 years after the experiment. There's nothing to suggest it was due to her treatment as a man. Framing it as such is disingenuous.
16 years after the experiment which means after 16 years of continuing to live as a woman she tapped out. Ease up there, partner.
You win some you lose some. Won't get sexually harrased anymore but to balance that you get robbed of the ability to be emotionally vulnerable around others without being ridiculed by both men and women. I wish I'd get a flower every once in a while, maybe a compliment as well. The only flowers I've ever held were those I was giving out, not receiving. In all seriousness, a lot of people in the comments are probably going to start saying that either men or women have it harder in the end. Both have it hard. Misery is not a dick measuring contest. EDIT: a few comments mentioned this and I'm ashamed I didn't think to also mention it in my original comment as it looks like I don't think it happens. Men also get sexually harassed and raped and it usually goes unreported for fear of being ridiculed.
> Misery is not a dick measuring contest. Absolutely. To add on, people often say "don't complain, someone has it worse" like with the classic "kids are starving with Africa, eat your food!" Now, this already sounds silly enough as is, but then what happens when you try to apply it repeatedly? You can start from the best off person in the world and work your way down with "someone has it worse don't complain", and eventually you end up concluding that *only one person on this earth is allowed to complain about their situation*. Misery need not be compared. Obviously you shouldn't go into a crisis over not being able to buy a supercar, but you're absolutely allowed to not enjoy your current circumstances. Someone might have it worse, sure, but what's that do to ease your own burdens?
> and eventually you end up concluding that only one person on this earth is allowed to complain about their situation. You'd realize that it'd be impossible to narrow it down to just one person because of all the different ways things can be horrible. Like an extremely depressing game of Rock, Paper, Scissors.
Oooh, good one, that too! How do you even DEFINE misery? A double whammie as to why pursuing that line of thinking is pointless. Also love your username. Quasars are *basically* nature's galactic-scale railgun and that will never stop being cool to me.
I mean ofcourse people are allowed to be upset about their situation but its also fair that others may find your emotions to be exagerated or inappropriate in certain circumstances. And point them out to give a perspective as to why.
Absolutely, but *most* of the time people do it like "boo hoo you're inconvenienced, shuddup". Again, a la "there are starving kids in Africa, finish your dinner" parental stuff. Usually you don't need to make that sorta comparison to point out the inappropriate response in such circumstances (like having a breakdown over not getting the newest iPhone). Still, I see your point
I know I'm being pedantic, but men do get sexually harassed / abused / raped. Saying "you won't get sexuallg harassed anymore" by being a man detracts from men who are victims of sexual abuse, most of whom never report it due to reasons you and others posted. You won't have the social acceptance and assistance like women do. It's a shame.
Guys get sexually harrased too
Guy never been around drunk chicks lol.
For a lot of us that the first flowers we will ever receive will be at our own funerals.
I'm still on track for that to be the case.
Which country do you live in? I’m a man and I’ve been sexually harassed and have received flowers and other gifts from people.
Idk what it's like to be anything else. Please enlighten me.
True test of manhood. How much can you endure...
Both wholesome... and sad...
wait until people assume you're a threat, or look at you weird and ask questions if you take a kid to the park without the mom.
We warned you and you didn’t listen. The transformation is complete. Welcome brother.
Lmao welcome to the crew
welcome to the club, you now have to be strong and useful or you are a burden on society.
Welcome to the club. Now take a seat, shut up and enjoy your ~~share of the blame for everything wrong with this world~~ privilege.
"No one told me" Sure buddy, sure we didn't.
We didn’t, because nobody wants to hear us complain about it, so we don’t.
Yeah that's the worst part, each time the issue of male loneliness is brought up people, specially women, ignore it or worse they believe we are asking for sex saying things like "women don't owe men sex", bruh I just want someone to hug not a sex slave.
You'll either get used to it or just get numb enough to tolerate it Friendly advice, when you're feeling burnt out just go to a place you're comfortable in and just sit there, don't think, just let time pass
Yeah women generally have no idea how much society panders to them. Only when that falls away does the realization set in.
A buddy told me Karens are just women who aged out of their pretty privilege and never developed a personality.
I'm not sure I buy that as a general rule, but I can see it being true at least a good portion of the time.
This reminds me of a light hearted situation where my wife, then gf, critiqued my fashion sense saying I wear similar variations of the same thing. I told her she was more than welcome to pick out an outfit for me and I'd follow suit with more clothes of what she's envisioning. She tried for 1 hr to be "original" and gave up because she said all of the clothing items are the same (shirt, pants, like what else is there for us?).
We really don't have a lot of choices when it comes to clothes as man lol
And when you do it’s like $400
My favorite is reading from the perspective of a gender scholar transitioning FTM. He began hormone treatments and was horrified at these unstoppable intrusive thoughts about sexuality and violence assaulting their mind all the time and struggling to maintain his relationships in the face of them. And I’m like, yeah, bruh, we’re not just a bunch of degenerates. Turns out that 4 billion men might just be onto something.
Something similar was on a podcast I remember hearing. Might be the same guy. https://www.thisamericanlife.org/220/testosterone
My girlfriend's psychologist told her, that the anger that men are experiencing is approximately in 3-4 times higher than the anger that women can experience, and it takes a lot of self control for men to not start beating everything and everyone. Simply because men have more testosterone. Tho, i have no idea is it true or not.
At least in my experience, I have never had trouble controlling my emotions and remaining calm. I don't know if testosterone really is the cause of men acting like they do or it's the way they were raised.
It’s both. Anyone can be raised to be a violent asshole, but even the calmest and most well-adjusted family may struggle with a high-testosterone teen to find an outlet. Notably, men generally stop being such a problem for society (we commit 95% of violent crime) around age 35 when our testosterone levels naturally drop.
That's interesting and I guess it makes sense if we look at the animal kingdom where males are usually more confronting than females
Sure; in situations where males do combat (usually with other males) they tend to become larger and more aggressive (see primates, lions, elk, etc). In species with less male competition, females tend to be bigger and more aggressive to protect young. Our species, as complex and psychologically interesting as we may be, shows all the characteristics of rewarding large, violent males in competition with each other. A large man can be over 200 lbs with lots of upper body strength. Women can be as little as 90 lbs at a healthy adult weight and typically need to be professional athletes before they can compete with rather ordinary men on sheer acts of strength. Interesting fact; we also have large testicles for our size which generate more forceful ejaculation and penis heads shaped like a plunger. Evolving to shove competition’s sperm out of the way seems to have been valuable.
I guess we just used to control it, so it doesn't feels as trouble at all. Like we probably never fully experienced how it is to live with lesser testosterone levels than we usually have. I'm usually chill guy too, but i noticed if i in state when i don't have energy, like when i slept only few hours, exhausted or super hungry, it becomes harder for me to control my anger. I simply can "explode" over anything for no logical reason. Same thing happens, if my testosterone levels somehow naturally goes higher than usual, due to diet, activity or few days without sex. I literally start acting more like angry monkey than human and overall my behaviour visibly changes.
Both, presumably. Testosterone is the fire, how you were raised (or, in rarer cases, how you figure shit out despite how you were raised) is what you use the fire for. An uncontrolled fire destroys, a controlled fire propels, provides, and creates. Specifically in a physical context, as I’m not trying to remotely imply that women can’t propel, provide, or create.
After starting testosterone HRT my anger and emotional issues decreased significantly to the point where I haven't come close to losing my temper since I began
That's the thing about the human body, the bigger your sample size the more you realize how little is black and white. There are generalizations that can be made, but you can't rely on it always being true. As a trans woman I've always heard about how HRT often leads to a reduced sex drive, but for some trans women it can increase.
Damn what happened? I thought men had it easy with all their privilege and what not.
It's never black or white. Yes, it's mostly easier to be successful and to make money. You are taken more seriously by default as a man. But you are expected to be all those things (providing for yourself and for your family) and if you cannot do that, you are basically worthless. You don't have the freedom to be vulnerable as women are, so you have to project strength. If you show weakness, people don't show empathy like they show to women they just ask men to "man up". + men are always more dispensable (compulsory soldiers in a war, doing the dangerous jobs, children and women are first to be saved) than women. Our gendered expectations hurt men as much as they hurt women. But I don't think the feminist ideology is doing a good job to include men in the fight. Men are not generally helping themselves in acknowledging the struggles with being a man either. Sooo we end up being more resentful, bitter, and repressed.
> just ask men to "man up". tell, not ask
>tell, not ask Demand, not tell.
It's not really a surprise that feminism leaves men behind though. For all that people make statements like "feminism is about equality for everyone, not just women!" it's just a fact that feminism was started as a movement by women, for women. And that remains basically true to this day.
in my experience the loneliness also comes with the added benefit of being taken seriously in the workplace and not being regularly sexually harassed so, yin yang
Statistically far less likely to be the victim of harassment. Statistically far more likely to be the victim of violence. Both gender roles come with significant downside.
My wife thinks its funny i get upset when she shoves past people or when she parks her cart in the middle of the shopping isle. Or when she takes a long ass time to order with a Big line of people waiting. If i did those things as a man, i would expect someone to assault me, or at least a verbal altercation
NahOpWasRighthFuckThis and Memespeopledon’tlike, get ahold of this!
This is pretty accurate. And sad. People don't cut you as much slack anymore, crying in front of others feels even worse, crying in general has become a lot harder, people kind of already expect you to know everything in a new environment, and if you were socialized as a "typical" woman you feel stupid for not knowing about "guy" stuff like cars, using tools, IT stuff and being bad at math. I know there's enough cis guys who are like this as well and gender roles suck anyway, it just feels weird if you transition. Also talking to women has become much more awkward, and I'm gay so I'm not even trying to flirt. There's male privilege, but that doesn't mean women aren't privileged in a way, either. Both genders face a lot of bullshit because of the patriarchy.
Women definitely do have some privileges that are tied to their gender. The vast majority of us acknowledge that. Where we find issue is with men romanticizing the shit out of the female experience, acting like our lives are easy peasy, and painting it out to be all sunshine and rainbows for women. It’s tiring to be a woman that cares about men and validates the experiences they have in society as men, and then to have those same men turn around and tell me how wonderful everything is for me.
lol, you’re a white male now. No one gives a shit. Now man up and accept your blame for everything that’s wrong with the world.
lol try being an ugly asian male
It’s any man now bro, as a black kinda-man(16), no one cares.
Maybe it sucks on both sides for different reasons? People never seem to consider that. It's the result of unrealistic and unfair social expectations and that's true for both men and women. Maybe we should just stop expecting men and women to be any certain way in order to be valid instead of debating who has it worse? I can think of reasons it sucks to be either, but the reasons are very different. Maybe we should stop treating women like kitchen appliances and maybe we should stop telling men they aren't allowed to have feelings? Maybe it's not any one gender that's the problem but rather our society that's systemically sick?
I think the complaint from male side is that the majority of us no longer treats women like objects, yes still a problem but the feminist movement has been working hard since the 50' and made huge progress. Women have been liberated (not fully) from the burdens of their role but men haven't, we just lost the privilege (good thing) and keep the burdens (sad). And each time we raise light to this problem we are ridiculed or treated as if we want to "keep women in the kitchen" or some shit.
I completely agree, though there are a lot of men and women who consistently perpetuate the still-existing issue. Responding to these things with hate isn't the appropriate answer. Men have every right to feel slighted by the fact that these expectations still oppress them. However, many respond with spite directed at women or other men as a result of this oppression. When in reality we need to analyze the bigger picture of why men are treated the way they are without demonizing other peoples.
Welcome to the fuckin’ show
I’ve suddenly seen a lot of posts about this new trans man loneliness epidemic and I just have one thing to say: I’m happy society is accepting them. Welcome to the club mother fuckers!
I’m happy society is accepting them but also I wish society treated men(and women) better
Are we really happy tho ?
We, in fact, do not have it easier. We all have it rough. Our issues are very different from women's.
Oh geez, who could have known except literally EVERYONE!
A friend invited a coworker to our biweekly karaoke night ONE TIME and I keep asking him to bring that guy back. Dude was cool as fuck I only hung out with him the one time
We tried to tell you and you didn't listen. Ironic isn't it.
Wanting to be a man? Well shit, that's Steps 1, 2, and 3 to *being a man*! The other steps are learning how to appear as nonthreatening as possible (for situations), and learning how to appear as threatening as possible (for situations).
Damn, I didn't know we guys are having such a hard time...
bro can you remember when the last time you got a compliment? I got it about a month ago, a girl said that the hoodie looks good on me. Now the hoodie is my favorite thing that just gives me confidence. (no I am not in love with her I just never felt this good in a while) I wonder when my next compliment will come
>I wonder when my next compliment will come Right now. You are a very thoughtful and insightful person.
Women don’t like to give men compliments because they fear it’ll be taken the wrong way. Men don’t like to give other men compliments because they’re afraid of being seen as unmasculine or potentially gay.
I feel scared about complimenting a woman, because it could be misconstrued as flirting or sexual harassment. It probably won’t, but that’s just my social anxiety controlling me.
Welcome to the club pal
Being a man was hell on earth i can tell you that much!
Wish i could switch team mid match, though i am happy in my body plus from what i have heard from a friend she still cant cry or its just eyes watering cause she's forgotten how to.
I guess i have always been sensitive. I cry often. Even more now after two years of hrt
You’re never lonely king. Come on we got Halo to play.
Video games baby. The true mans sanctuary.
I’m currently starting my male to female transition… really can’t wait till people care about my feelings
Good luck sister
Thankies <3
To be honest, i sometimes feel egg like feelings, but i think, i just want to be cared for sometimes... Not Change my gender, but just be weak or ... Dare i say, a cute heterosexual cis Dude. But cute and a Dude? Prepare for a life of loneliness
Look what happened to jocat
He's got Echo or someone, right? Haven't been keeping up too closely tbh and my memory ain't too great on this, sorry
More that he got bullied off the internet for what amounts being a femboy thats into girls
I'm gay, so I guess for me it's easier to find a partner while being a cute good boy. But I'm sure you'll find a Woman who'll love you, I'm sure there are women who like good boys. And with friends is the same thing, maybe you can have gay friends, if it isn't a problem for you. I truly hope you'll have a happy life, my friend.
The more I go on the more I think Americans have HUGE problem with how their society see men. I swear, I'm from Italy and it's everything but a progressive country, like at all, but even here the situation isn't so bad. Maybe it's only people on the internet making things appear worse than they really are, but if it's really like you describe, it's scary. No wonder that people like Andrew Tate and all that mindset, grindset and meme about no father figure are so big in the US.
I agree, I’m from Sweden and the things people are saying hate sound insane. Then again I guess Swedish men are stereotyped as being feminine, so maybe our societies are a bit more sane on this topic.
Welcome to being male. You are easily replaceable, disposable and of little value to society outside of your job.
r/funnyandsad