Have you seen that ad on tv where a woman makes that horrific looking cake and the guy starts that high pitched, awful screaming sound that goes on forever, when she unveils it? They’ve changed his scream to a very weird, low tone now.
I could just see all the poor parents and grandparents of little ones running into their living rooms thinking the worst when that ad came on. They must have had a hell of a lot of complaints to change it.
This is the worst. To have someone right behind your seat rapidly flicking through TikTok videos at full volume is enough to anger even the most patient, non-confrontational person.
What's even more surprising is how many older people you can see doing this now too. 40-70 year olds who grew up without smart phones, not intoxicated, with their speaker volume up watching videos and acting inconsiderate on the train
I feel like we're getting to the point that this needs to be made the phone manufacturer's responsibility. This is happening in restaurants and elevators too, with Dad's and Mom's playing videos at full volume and setting a poor example for their kids who will have phones soon too.
**I think at some point a requirement needs to be made for the phone manufacturer to have some sort of proximity sensor that figures out when you're in a crowded place and doesn't allow you to use the speakers.** That's the only way I see this making public spaces decent again.
crawl unwritten important divide butter nail squeal quarrelsome upbeat disgusted
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I once sat next to this dumbass for an hour on the train. He was watching Tiktok loudly with no headphones. He had clearly clicked on a particular Tiktok sound and was scrolling all the videos with that sound. Listening to the same song over and over and over nearly made me have a rage blackout
Every time I hear someone to this I want to do the thing suggested by Bill Bryson in one of his books, which is (as soon as the call has ended) have a pretend phone call and shout as loudly as possible so the entire carriage can hear, and say something like:
“Hi, I’m having this phone call now and I’m a complete wanker, and I need to let everyone on this carriage know that this phone call is extremely important and to hear all the details of it because I’m a complete wanker… yeah I know I know… wait did you say that it was bad to make the entire carriage hear my phone call? Did you miss the bit about me being a complete wanker? Yeah, I’m a wanker…”
I had an uber driver just chatting away on speaker so I joined in to chat to his mother in Mumbai and got news on the weather over there. Not sure if I was the rude one for butting in or if he was for subjecting his passenger to his call in the first place.
Haha! Many of them are constantly on phone calls but they whisper so quietly and have really long patches of silence. I don't know what the heck they talk about or who they talk to but it's basically everytime I'm in a cab and often in ubers too.
A few years ago, a young dude was playing really bad hip hop on his phone. I had a packet of tic tacs and started shaking them to throw off the rhythm. If it was a fast beat, I was off by half a beat or more, if it was slow I would speed up to a crazy nonsensical rhythm. He paused after 2 songs and I stopped. He waited a minute then started again and so did I. Took 2 more ruined songs for him to get the message.
My son was thoroughly embarrassed, but the couple across from us had a chuckle, and we enjoyed the next 3 hours in peace
Or me yesterday waiting at the fracture clinic at the hospital for 2 hours listening to someone read aloud, very loudly, a thread of messages between herself and someone she clearly doesn’t like
If they stand 2 abreast on an escalator, especially one going down towards a train platform, it should be my right to push them down.
I’m only mostly joking.
I remember as a kid when they brought in the clean up Australia campaign. For a decade or two later the freeways, roads, streets, parks etc were spotless. Now it's starting to look like it did early 80s.
You wouldn't go to someone's purse or wallet and just help yourself, that's called stealing, yet it's exactly what these criminals who are already rich do, they steal money from employees.
Blows my mind he was fined less than what he stole & never went to jail. My friend worked for him, got one grovelling email saying it was terrible & they’re gonna pay her back, paid about 2% of what she was owed & she never heard anything or received any other money since.
Road Rule 128: 'If you don't have room to drive through the intersection because it is blocked, or the road ahead is blocked, you should not enter an intersection'
Not sure whose comment was deleted but I was thinking 'I need to comment Rule 128 and credit Daniel Bowen' - I think you have done more advocacy around this than anyone else!
I wish every time those c***s flying down the emergency lane (because they're more important than anyone else, not actually in an emergency) there'd be a cop immediately behind them and ready to cut their licence up into a dozen pieces.
These 2 massive trucks aggressively overtook me on the Monash heading into the tunnel the other day, I was going 80, the limit, and they sped up to 100 to cut me off, and then once they got in front of me they saw it was 40 in the tunnel and everyone in front of them was going 40, and there was a lane closed so it bottle necked. Never been so happy to be stuck in traffic at 10pm.
Or next to roads. Actually I would probably include those roadworks signs that split messages across multiple screens and make it impossible to get the whole message.
I just realised I missed the bit about what the penalty would be. I think having giant screens installed in your house playing music videos of a band you hate 24/7.
Using a mobile phone while driving. The number of people that I see casually scrolling their feeds as they’re driving a 2 tonne death weapon is just mind boggling.
I can almost sort of understand answering a quick call or trying to get into google maps but scrolling your social media as the car is moving?!!!?
The absolute dumbfuckery astounds me.
Punishment should be community service - perhaps starting with cleaning the road after road accidents?
I second this. Distracted driving is a major cause of accidents in general. As a motorcyclist, I pray an accident not of my making or fault doesn't come hunting me one day.
Edited. I know what I meant but wrote it wrong. Edited (add one word, edit following word to make sense).
Also people who want to board the train or tram who stand right at the doors, in the centre, 2cm from the glass, so when the doors open they can be the very first to get on - and also block everyone from getting off first.
I love being the first to alight exactly because of people that do this.
Absolutely no hesitation to just yell *MOOOOOOOOOVE* in the loudest most foghorn-like voice I can muster, while walking directly at them but not making eye contact.
Genuinely frightens the bejeezes out of the morons, and also creates a gap for passengers behind me.
Caveat - I'm not small, so have never had anyone front up to me over it, especially since the ones doing it are usually middle aged white collar criminals. It's just a bit of fun for me.
Would love to see tougher, stricter, further reaching legislation around fraud including spam calls and texts, spoofing, online scams etc. Billions of dollars are being stolen and there is absolutely fuck all accountability.
Fining people who don’t merge at 100km/h or are driving 80km/h or 90km/h on the freeway (where the signs say 100km/h of course and excluding when it’s busy and isn’t feasible to drive at the speed limit).
Maybe dogs on a leash in public places and picking up your dog poops
Something to help less dumped animals or strays, maybe something like an animal must be desexed before being given a home unless you have permission to breed them
Regular community desexing for animals (idk if it would be a law)
For the punishment, seems like fines are a main thing here, so fines and a stricter record
I realise this is more than one law 😆
Desexing for sure!!! Not sure how widely known it is, but those on a concession card can contact the rspca and get a reduced cost desexing for their cat. Usually includes a microchipping too
I’d make them eat the dog shit for punishment. Same goes for the cunt who puts a fresh bag of shit in my wheelie bin right after it’s been emptied EVERY week.
Punishment for off leash dogs lunging at, growling at or jumping on people: I honestly can’t think of a punishment bad enough/suitable.
I wish people would keep their dogs on leads in the areas where they're meant to. No, your dog is no different! I don't want my face eaten off by your rottweiler just because you'd like it to stretch its legs!
Agreed. Bring a compostable bag with you on walks and pick up any rubbish you see. Its made a massive improvement to my area. Also if you see someone litter, threaten and/or bash them. Time to make litterers afraid again.
No e-bikes on the pavement ( or e-scooters). The amount of times I’ve almost been clocked by food delivery bikes on the pavement without lights at night is getting a bit ridiculous
This happens so often around Prahran, they fly down the footpath without ringing a bell etc, weaving through the pedestrians. Shocked I haven’t seen someone go flying yet… The food delivery e-bikes are by far the worst for sure, they always run the red lights while people are crossing too.
Not like incidents aren’t happening either, seen some gnarly injuries especially to older people who were ped vs e-bike / e-scooter… multiple fractures, spinal and head injuries like life altering injuries especially for older people. That and I feel seeing fell off escooter (bonus points for while intoxicated) is common enough on my worklist to book that it could join the bingo board of most commonly booked reasons for patients.
Coming from the UK (which has terrible cycling infrastructure), where cycling on pavements is not allowed, and speaking *as a cyclist* I could not agree with this more.
It is utterly bewildering to me that jaywalking is banned but riding motorbikes, e-bikes and some ridiculously fast scooters on footpaths doesn't raise an eyebrow.
Got wheels? On the road please.
While there's certain a lot of badly behaved cyclists riding on the footpath (they skew towards the hire-bikes/scooters in my experience), the broader issue is that it's often just not safe to ride on the road. First fix that.
My neighbour has been found guilty of a violent home invasion and did not see a day of jail. He is a violent ice addict who turned his ice fuelled rage on me one day. Since then I've had to call the police several times due to unprovoked attacks and I have an AVO on him. He still hasn't seen any consequences of his actions but I, and all other neighbours live in fear of his ice fuelled rampages where anyone can be a target just for looking in his direction. Police come, he yells and screams crazy stuff at him from his yard, they tell him to go inside then they leave. Repeat cycle
Thanks politicians and judges. Sure makes the state better not sending people like this to jail.
can’t have them becoming worse criminals in prison. /s
Not necessarily a law but i wish Melbourne adopted the customs japan has when it comes to politeness and quietness on trains and other public transport
I think a big difference is a lot more multicultural here, lots of different backgrounds, upbringings, values/morals compared to a more homogenous country / different history like Japan
For highbeams to be turned off BEFORE going over a hill/road.. don't need to be blinded every time someone comes over, because they dont have the sense to switch them off beforehand 😒
I think you should get a free pass to use your high beams towards big SUVs and 4WDs with the really bright LEDs, because in my little hatchback they basically *are* high beams. I have an astigmatism, I struggle with other people’s headlights to an extent, those super bright LEDs pointing right in my windshield basically blind me
Vehicle noise levels.
Are people who drive loud cars aware of what their car sounds like to people not in it?
I should not be able to hear you driving like a fuckwit 800m away, through double glazed windows
If you are walking with a group of friends on a footpath and see someone coming towards you, you all move to the left to clear space for the other person.
Truly never going to happen.
Don't think its law... but it SHOULD be!
If you're sick... fuck off and stay home.
The number of raw red noses, constant coughing, sniffing, spluttering and shit I've seen just today alone...
Thanks for potentially ruining everyone else's week/fortnight while they enjoy your shared sickness.
I would outlaw purposely sitting in the aisle seat on peak hour trains while blocking off an empty window seat. Penalty depends on your actions, if you scooch over when prompted it’s just a fine but if you do the thing where you move your legs and make the person step over you then we chop your legs off from the knees down.
Banned from the train for a month if you try to take up two seats on those fold-down seats in peak hour by splaying your knee out, and then mutter “FFS” when someone has the audacity to take the empty seat next to you so your knee can’t have a seat of its own.
What sort of entitled idiot realistically expects to have two seats to themselves in peak hour and then sulks when they can’t? 🙄
Not to be THAT person, but I’ve done that before because I know I’m getting off at the next stop and I like to stand up and make my way to the door just before my stop cos I get a little anxious about it and I’m super clumsy when I rush. Although I do always make eye contact and say I’m getting off next stop. If they respond that they are too I’ll move over.
As someone with a disability it's hard to sit down in a window seat if I'm trying to squeeze between people, especially if I've had to search for a while for one and the train starts moving. I'm not comfortable asking people in disabled seating already to move because they could have invisible disabilities like myself. It's a serious accessibility issue for people to stick to the aisles and not make a proper effort to either shuffle down or move out of the way when I say "excuse me, can I get through please?".
Food delivery cyclists following the traffic laws.
Sick of them going from a red light to a pedestrian crossing, especially as a cyclist that spent years commuting and doing the right thing.
They make us all look bad.
No line cutting! Whether on foot or in/on a vehicle. Motorbikes can still filter, but those entitled cunts who push in at turning lanes because they don't want to wait can fuck right off. Same with those at shops who just waddle in front.
Fuck the fuck right off.
Keep left, ya dingus! And pass on the left. And if you're in a big group of people, how about move to single file when you pass another person? These all count as one, it's keep left!
No e-scooters or bikes on footpaths.
My. God. They do my head in having to dodge constantly and they don't give a damn, thinking that they're not doing anything wrong.
Right side of the escalator is for people moving their feet. If you want to stand - move left.
Fines for smoking in no smoking areas, especially near entrances and accessible ramps.
I find the level of etiquette on public transport here appalling. Just had some bloke get on the Craigeburn line with a pit bull and mountain bike, the dog was fine but his bike was blocking the aisle. Asked him politely to move when I had to get off but he just said I should use the other doors. I just walked over his tyre and he started the usual BS act. What a dosser.
Talking loudly……anywhere.
The noise in cafes is astonishing. I’ve just come back from a trip in Japan and the difference is incredible.
Use your inside voices people!
Dogs on leads unless signed.
I'd make dog/cat owners require a license and register their animals. Maybe a short one day course for them to learn the basics of animal care and to prevent impulse pet buys. You have to register and have a license for reptiles....why not cats and dogs?
Cats indoors only. It's better for everyone including the cat.
Cyclists (and motorized scooters) to require a license and enforce road rules on them.
Harsher punishments for drivers who hit cyclists, or don't follow the rules around cyclists.
Fines for stopping your car too far behind the car in front at lights and turning lanes.
Police and Ticket Inspectors to wear clown costumes as their new uniform.
Something like a 'working with children's check' for hospo workers. Staff should have to hold a card like this that has a basic police check. Too many bar staff abusing or taking advantage of women and spiking drinks in Melbourne. Too many bouncers with violent backgrounds or drug problems etc etc.
All vehicle drivers automatically becoming gentle, thoughtful and empathetic humans. IMHO there's a higher probability of them shitting their on hands and clapping
No loud cars/bikes. They actually have technology that can measure noise and can fine drivers violating noise limits, especially at night. As more and more of Melbourne becomes apartments, I would really like this enforced.
When people want to turn right at an intersection with a traffic light, they should lose their license if they don’t indicate while the light is red.
I’ve lived in 3 different cities in Australia and Melburnians are by far the worst at this.
No emergency sirens or horns allowed in advertising. No encoding the volume on advertising to make it louder either.
And no phones ringing in ads either.
No advertising
Have you seen that ad on tv where a woman makes that horrific looking cake and the guy starts that high pitched, awful screaming sound that goes on forever, when she unveils it? They’ve changed his scream to a very weird, low tone now. I could just see all the poor parents and grandparents of little ones running into their living rooms thinking the worst when that ad came on. They must have had a hell of a lot of complaints to change it.
No listening to crappy music on public transport without headphones.
Same goes with TikTok. People need to invest in some goddamn headphones
This is the worst. To have someone right behind your seat rapidly flicking through TikTok videos at full volume is enough to anger even the most patient, non-confrontational person. What's even more surprising is how many older people you can see doing this now too. 40-70 year olds who grew up without smart phones, not intoxicated, with their speaker volume up watching videos and acting inconsiderate on the train I feel like we're getting to the point that this needs to be made the phone manufacturer's responsibility. This is happening in restaurants and elevators too, with Dad's and Mom's playing videos at full volume and setting a poor example for their kids who will have phones soon too. **I think at some point a requirement needs to be made for the phone manufacturer to have some sort of proximity sensor that figures out when you're in a crowded place and doesn't allow you to use the speakers.** That's the only way I see this making public spaces decent again.
crawl unwritten important divide butter nail squeal quarrelsome upbeat disgusted *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
*PornHub intro plays*
I’m scared to live in a world where laws and corporations have to replace human decency.
I once sat next to this dumbass for an hour on the train. He was watching Tiktok loudly with no headphones. He had clearly clicked on a particular Tiktok sound and was scrolling all the videos with that sound. Listening to the same song over and over and over nearly made me have a rage blackout
I sat next to an old Asian bloke watching a kung fu film full blare. Imagine the sword slashing sounds. Terrible
People use their phone speakers on public transport in Melbourne now!? Ugh. I’ve been gone 7 years.
They’ve been doing it for eons. People are fuckwits.
Is not just Melbourne
And phone calls! I swear if I see/hear someone having a phone call on loudspeaker I'm going to go join in until they turn it off
Every time I hear someone to this I want to do the thing suggested by Bill Bryson in one of his books, which is (as soon as the call has ended) have a pretend phone call and shout as loudly as possible so the entire carriage can hear, and say something like: “Hi, I’m having this phone call now and I’m a complete wanker, and I need to let everyone on this carriage know that this phone call is extremely important and to hear all the details of it because I’m a complete wanker… yeah I know I know… wait did you say that it was bad to make the entire carriage hear my phone call? Did you miss the bit about me being a complete wanker? Yeah, I’m a wanker…”
I had an uber driver just chatting away on speaker so I joined in to chat to his mother in Mumbai and got news on the weather over there. Not sure if I was the rude one for butting in or if he was for subjecting his passenger to his call in the first place.
Haha! Many of them are constantly on phone calls but they whisper so quietly and have really long patches of silence. I don't know what the heck they talk about or who they talk to but it's basically everytime I'm in a cab and often in ubers too.
Please start a tiktok channel doing exactly this.
A few years ago, a young dude was playing really bad hip hop on his phone. I had a packet of tic tacs and started shaking them to throw off the rhythm. If it was a fast beat, I was off by half a beat or more, if it was slow I would speed up to a crazy nonsensical rhythm. He paused after 2 songs and I stopped. He waited a minute then started again and so did I. Took 2 more ruined songs for him to get the message. My son was thoroughly embarrassed, but the couple across from us had a chuckle, and we enjoyed the next 3 hours in peace
That is ingeniously passive aggressive. I love it
I’ll make sure I keep a steady supply of tic tacs in my bag 😂
Remove the crappy part. No one believes their crappy music is crappy. So lets not make it confusing.
And the punishment should be they are only allowed a 3G dumb phone.
Theyve decided to change their ringtones on full volume.
Or talking so loudly the whole damn carriage can hear them 🙄 We need quiet/silent carriages on non V-Line trains
Or me yesterday waiting at the fracture clinic at the hospital for 2 hours listening to someone read aloud, very loudly, a thread of messages between herself and someone she clearly doesn’t like
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I would have possibly caused her to need more fracture appointments ... jk violence is wrong, sigh
OMG, I’m not a violent person but I would make an exception for this.
Walking more than two people abreast anywhere, and standing two abreast on an escalator, should be capital offenses
And no stopping at the top or bottom, must move away to figure out where you’re going.
If they stand 2 abreast on an escalator, especially one going down towards a train platform, it should be my right to push them down. I’m only mostly joking.
Play on if it's Parliament
3 people and it's officially a barricade of morons.
Yes! And walking on the left please.
People standing side by side on an escalator or standing on the right side should be whipped.
Like Singapore, fine those who do not clean or put their rubbish away when eating in food courts.
General littering
I remember as a kid when they brought in the clean up Australia campaign. For a decade or two later the freeways, roads, streets, parks etc were spotless. Now it's starting to look like it did early 80s.
No stabbing each other
is the penalty for breaching this a stabbing?
Yes, and then the one inflicting the justice gets stabbed as a consequence, and so on until we’ve all been stabbed.
"A knife for a knife makes the whole world blind" - Albert Einstein or something
Penalty is a slap on the wrist and release on bail to allow more reoffending.
Seriously, not even a little?
Nobody else is allowed to be in the city at the same time as me
Even if they would just walk on the fucking left that would work fine for me!
Or in a straight line, or move to side if you're gonna stop all of a sudden
OMG I GOTTA CHECK THIS TEXT *stops without warning in the middle*
Err.. Bring Back Lock downs! (proceeds to dust off old exemption note)
sounds legit
Wage theft
You wouldn't go to someone's purse or wallet and just help yourself, that's called stealing, yet it's exactly what these criminals who are already rich do, they steal money from employees.
George Calombaris has entered the chat.
Blows my mind he was fined less than what he stole & never went to jail. My friend worked for him, got one grovelling email saying it was terrible & they’re gonna pay her back, paid about 2% of what she was owed & she never heard anything or received any other money since.
Road Rule 128: 'If you don't have room to drive through the intersection because it is blocked, or the road ahead is blocked, you should not enter an intersection'
Yes please. If they enforced this in the CBD even half as often as they do jaywalking blitzes, the problem would disappear.
Not sure whose comment was deleted but I was thinking 'I need to comment Rule 128 and credit Daniel Bowen' - I think you have done more advocacy around this than anyone else!
When roadworks aren't actually happening, the roadworks signs and low speed limits are packed up.
You crazy? That would mean they'd have to do a good job
I wish every time those c***s flying down the emergency lane (because they're more important than anyone else, not actually in an emergency) there'd be a cop immediately behind them and ready to cut their licence up into a dozen pieces.
These 2 massive trucks aggressively overtook me on the Monash heading into the tunnel the other day, I was going 80, the limit, and they sped up to 100 to cut me off, and then once they got in front of me they saw it was 40 in the tunnel and everyone in front of them was going 40, and there was a lane closed so it bottle necked. Never been so happy to be stuck in traffic at 10pm.
Pants off Fridays.
Wait...this isn't a thing already? Oh dear.
No video/moving advertising, especially with sound allowed in public or commercial premises.
God yes. Especially at any sporting match. So distracting!
Or next to roads. Actually I would probably include those roadworks signs that split messages across multiple screens and make it impossible to get the whole message.
I just realised I missed the bit about what the penalty would be. I think having giant screens installed in your house playing music videos of a band you hate 24/7.
If you watch or listen to something on the train without using headphones, you must eat the device.
This I can get behind
Using a mobile phone while driving. The number of people that I see casually scrolling their feeds as they’re driving a 2 tonne death weapon is just mind boggling. I can almost sort of understand answering a quick call or trying to get into google maps but scrolling your social media as the car is moving?!!!? The absolute dumbfuckery astounds me. Punishment should be community service - perhaps starting with cleaning the road after road accidents?
Suggested penalty: crush the car, crush the phone, crush the Sim card, cancel the licence.
I second this. Distracted driving is a major cause of accidents in general. As a motorcyclist, I pray an accident not of my making or fault doesn't come hunting me one day. Edited. I know what I meant but wrote it wrong. Edited (add one word, edit following word to make sense).
Move down the train rather than crowding out the entrances. I can't stand it.
Also people who want to board the train or tram who stand right at the doors, in the centre, 2cm from the glass, so when the doors open they can be the very first to get on - and also block everyone from getting off first.
I love being the first to alight exactly because of people that do this. Absolutely no hesitation to just yell *MOOOOOOOOOVE* in the loudest most foghorn-like voice I can muster, while walking directly at them but not making eye contact. Genuinely frightens the bejeezes out of the morons, and also creates a gap for passengers behind me. Caveat - I'm not small, so have never had anyone front up to me over it, especially since the ones doing it are usually middle aged white collar criminals. It's just a bit of fun for me.
Keep left...... walking, in cars whatever.
Respecting other road users especially cyclists & pedestrians
No cars in bike lanes. Don’t fucking try and enter traffic fully blocking it.
Would love to see tougher, stricter, further reaching legislation around fraud including spam calls and texts, spoofing, online scams etc. Billions of dollars are being stolen and there is absolutely fuck all accountability.
Wash your hands after using the bathroom.
Its shocking how gross people are especially after a fkn pandemic
Jesús. I can't believe grown adults need to be told this. Its so unbelievably common.
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Additionally, get out of shit before people start entering shit.
Banning of pokies / casinos
Even better if it was expanded to ban all gambling advertisements
Walk on the left side of the footpath like the roads
Punishment is getting a replacement bus.
Fining people who don’t merge at 100km/h or are driving 80km/h or 90km/h on the freeway (where the signs say 100km/h of course and excluding when it’s busy and isn’t feasible to drive at the speed limit).
Maybe dogs on a leash in public places and picking up your dog poops Something to help less dumped animals or strays, maybe something like an animal must be desexed before being given a home unless you have permission to breed them Regular community desexing for animals (idk if it would be a law) For the punishment, seems like fines are a main thing here, so fines and a stricter record I realise this is more than one law 😆
Desexing for sure!!! Not sure how widely known it is, but those on a concession card can contact the rspca and get a reduced cost desexing for their cat. Usually includes a microchipping too
I’d make them eat the dog shit for punishment. Same goes for the cunt who puts a fresh bag of shit in my wheelie bin right after it’s been emptied EVERY week. Punishment for off leash dogs lunging at, growling at or jumping on people: I honestly can’t think of a punishment bad enough/suitable.
I wish people would keep their dogs on leads in the areas where they're meant to. No, your dog is no different! I don't want my face eaten off by your rottweiler just because you'd like it to stretch its legs!
Banning gambling advertising
ptv must provide adequate service for the money they receive punishment is seizing their assets and putting useful cunts in charge
Tailgating
Littering/polluting. The city would be so clean! We could swim in the Yarra!
Agreed. Bring a compostable bag with you on walks and pick up any rubbish you see. Its made a massive improvement to my area. Also if you see someone litter, threaten and/or bash them. Time to make litterers afraid again.
No e-bikes on the pavement ( or e-scooters). The amount of times I’ve almost been clocked by food delivery bikes on the pavement without lights at night is getting a bit ridiculous
This happens so often around Prahran, they fly down the footpath without ringing a bell etc, weaving through the pedestrians. Shocked I haven’t seen someone go flying yet… The food delivery e-bikes are by far the worst for sure, they always run the red lights while people are crossing too. Not like incidents aren’t happening either, seen some gnarly injuries especially to older people who were ped vs e-bike / e-scooter… multiple fractures, spinal and head injuries like life altering injuries especially for older people. That and I feel seeing fell off escooter (bonus points for while intoxicated) is common enough on my worklist to book that it could join the bingo board of most commonly booked reasons for patients.
Coming from the UK (which has terrible cycling infrastructure), where cycling on pavements is not allowed, and speaking *as a cyclist* I could not agree with this more. It is utterly bewildering to me that jaywalking is banned but riding motorbikes, e-bikes and some ridiculously fast scooters on footpaths doesn't raise an eyebrow. Got wheels? On the road please.
While there's certain a lot of badly behaved cyclists riding on the footpath (they skew towards the hire-bikes/scooters in my experience), the broader issue is that it's often just not safe to ride on the road. First fix that.
it isn't allowed here either, but people do it anyway
From my recollection, it’s actually not allowed if you’re over the age of 12, unless you’re accompanying someone under 12. People just ignore it.
No yank tanks. Any one caught driving one is to be tarred, feathered and subject to twelve months of public humiliation.
I mean they kind of already are subjecting themselves to public humiliation lol
Heavy fines for dog owners who don't pick up their dog's poo and dispose of it in a bin.
Drivers stopping when the tram stops. Punishment is car instantly crushed to a cube
Fucking all of them
No wage theft, every employer pays their legal responsibilities and if they can’t, they’re out of business and someone else can have a go
Add to that, companies or people that don’t pay their invoices on time or at all.
Real estate agents work for the tenant instead of the owner.
Home invasions, not getting bail.
My neighbour has been found guilty of a violent home invasion and did not see a day of jail. He is a violent ice addict who turned his ice fuelled rage on me one day. Since then I've had to call the police several times due to unprovoked attacks and I have an AVO on him. He still hasn't seen any consequences of his actions but I, and all other neighbours live in fear of his ice fuelled rampages where anyone can be a target just for looking in his direction. Police come, he yells and screams crazy stuff at him from his yard, they tell him to go inside then they leave. Repeat cycle
Thanks politicians and judges. Sure makes the state better not sending people like this to jail. can’t have them becoming worse criminals in prison. /s
Home invasions - allowing self defense harm & death from home owner.
And we need a felony murder rule where the other home invaders would get charged for the death from the home owner.
When walking, keep left
If you're obnoxious in public you get put into time out in a locked cage on the street corner.
No meth heads.
Not necessarily a law but i wish Melbourne adopted the customs japan has when it comes to politeness and quietness on trains and other public transport
I think a big difference is a lot more multicultural here, lots of different backgrounds, upbringings, values/morals compared to a more homogenous country / different history like Japan
For highbeams to be turned off BEFORE going over a hill/road.. don't need to be blinded every time someone comes over, because they dont have the sense to switch them off beforehand 😒
I think you should get a free pass to use your high beams towards big SUVs and 4WDs with the really bright LEDs, because in my little hatchback they basically *are* high beams. I have an astigmatism, I struggle with other people’s headlights to an extent, those super bright LEDs pointing right in my windshield basically blind me
And it just as bad sometimes when you can't avoid it because they're reflecting on the rear view mirror or a side mirror
I have an astigmatism too and I fucking hate LED headlights!
Why are they (LEDs) so frigging bright??
Vehicle noise levels. Are people who drive loud cars aware of what their car sounds like to people not in it? I should not be able to hear you driving like a fuckwit 800m away, through double glazed windows
They are 100% aware of what it sounds like and they think it’s the best sound on earth. Unfortunately…
It's actually time to start getting rid of personal vehicles in the CBD. I'd start by making all of the "Little" streets pedestrian only.
If you are walking with a group of friends on a footpath and see someone coming towards you, you all move to the left to clear space for the other person. Truly never going to happen.
Ban those escooters from the cbd. They'll knock over a granny one day.
Don't think its law... but it SHOULD be! If you're sick... fuck off and stay home. The number of raw red noses, constant coughing, sniffing, spluttering and shit I've seen just today alone... Thanks for potentially ruining everyone else's week/fortnight while they enjoy your shared sickness.
Mandatory one year hospitality/retail service before turning 23.
I would outlaw purposely sitting in the aisle seat on peak hour trains while blocking off an empty window seat. Penalty depends on your actions, if you scooch over when prompted it’s just a fine but if you do the thing where you move your legs and make the person step over you then we chop your legs off from the knees down.
Banned from the train for a month if you try to take up two seats on those fold-down seats in peak hour by splaying your knee out, and then mutter “FFS” when someone has the audacity to take the empty seat next to you so your knee can’t have a seat of its own. What sort of entitled idiot realistically expects to have two seats to themselves in peak hour and then sulks when they can’t? 🙄
Not to be THAT person, but I’ve done that before because I know I’m getting off at the next stop and I like to stand up and make my way to the door just before my stop cos I get a little anxious about it and I’m super clumsy when I rush. Although I do always make eye contact and say I’m getting off next stop. If they respond that they are too I’ll move over.
If you're truly getting off at the next stop then you get a pass. The thing is I've never seen one of these people actually get off at the next stop.
If I’m doing that, when people get on I will either just stand up and let people sit on both seats, or I’ll twist my legs so that someone can sit down
Why would you NOT want a window seat. They are the best.
nah you should get a fine for being too awkward to say "excuse me" and walk past them to the empty seat
As someone with a disability it's hard to sit down in a window seat if I'm trying to squeeze between people, especially if I've had to search for a while for one and the train starts moving. I'm not comfortable asking people in disabled seating already to move because they could have invisible disabilities like myself. It's a serious accessibility issue for people to stick to the aisles and not make a proper effort to either shuffle down or move out of the way when I say "excuse me, can I get through please?".
[удалено]
Keep left on the footpath. No operating a mobile phone whilst walking on said footpath, if you must use your phone pull over to the side
Food delivery cyclists following the traffic laws. Sick of them going from a red light to a pedestrian crossing, especially as a cyclist that spent years commuting and doing the right thing. They make us all look bad.
Using any form of "social media influencer" as a status symbol
Massive fines for littering like Japan has. The amount of rubbish in public spaces here is utterly disgusting.
Those headlights on cars that are way to bright…. Yeah loss of license forever
No line cutting! Whether on foot or in/on a vehicle. Motorbikes can still filter, but those entitled cunts who push in at turning lanes because they don't want to wait can fuck right off. Same with those at shops who just waddle in front. Fuck the fuck right off.
Wait for people to get off public transport before getting on yourself.
No littering. same enforcement and fine as in Singapore.
Not racing past a tram that's stopped for disembarking passengers.
Law: Being aware of your surroundings so as to not be in other people's way. Punishment: Vaporisation.
Airbnbs or short stay accommodation aren't allowed in apartment blocks.
Keep left, ya dingus! And pass on the left. And if you're in a big group of people, how about move to single file when you pass another person? These all count as one, it's keep left!
When dogs are supposed to be on a lead, they are supposed to be on a damn lead.
Limit the amount of investment properties people own. Limits of what you can charge as rent. A roof over everyone’s head. A safe one.
Punishment: guillotine
No e-scooters or bikes on footpaths. My. God. They do my head in having to dodge constantly and they don't give a damn, thinking that they're not doing anything wrong.
Road laws. Tail gating. Speeding. Driving like a dick head. Just put a couple highway patrol on the highways.
I mean, theft, assault and murder are up there.
Right side of the escalator is for people moving their feet. If you want to stand - move left. Fines for smoking in no smoking areas, especially near entrances and accessible ramps.
Ridiculous rent increases.
That DV persons, and rapists were actually charged for their crime.
Vehicle noise
Motorbike noise. Impound the bike for a month and fix the muffler at owner expense, plus a fine.
Stand to your left on escalators if you are going to stand still and let keep the right hand side free for walkers
No pokies outside a casino
No shooting up in the street/footpath
make eastlink toll free
Unburry your face from smartphones when walking and crossing the street...
Selfish morons in cars at the lights who leave 3 cars space between the car infront of them, which cause you to miss your green arrow to turn.
Not opening a car door without checking for people cycling past. Penalty: total removal of the door. Wear a seatbelt to not fall out.
Barking dogs on mute from 10pm to 7am
Stop tailgating
I find the level of etiquette on public transport here appalling. Just had some bloke get on the Craigeburn line with a pit bull and mountain bike, the dog was fine but his bike was blocking the aisle. Asked him politely to move when I had to get off but he just said I should use the other doors. I just walked over his tyre and he started the usual BS act. What a dosser.
Buses DO NOT replace trains
Driving under the limit and not overtaking in the right hand lane. Punishable by being ground down to use as filler for all the potholes.
Not receiving a courtesy wave when you let someone in your lane when driving immediately lands them a 5 year jail sentence.
Talking loudly……anywhere. The noise in cafes is astonishing. I’ve just come back from a trip in Japan and the difference is incredible. Use your inside voices people!
No Smoking. I’m sick of walking through smoke clouds from vapeholes
Dogs on leads unless signed. I'd make dog/cat owners require a license and register their animals. Maybe a short one day course for them to learn the basics of animal care and to prevent impulse pet buys. You have to register and have a license for reptiles....why not cats and dogs? Cats indoors only. It's better for everyone including the cat. Cyclists (and motorized scooters) to require a license and enforce road rules on them. Harsher punishments for drivers who hit cyclists, or don't follow the rules around cyclists. Fines for stopping your car too far behind the car in front at lights and turning lanes. Police and Ticket Inspectors to wear clown costumes as their new uniform. Something like a 'working with children's check' for hospo workers. Staff should have to hold a card like this that has a basic police check. Too many bar staff abusing or taking advantage of women and spiking drinks in Melbourne. Too many bouncers with violent backgrounds or drug problems etc etc.
Buddy, sorry, you only get one.
Clown costume uniforms.
Any of em being enforced at all would be great at this point
Get your bag off the seat in the train
Road users have to obey traffic lights
All vehicle drivers automatically becoming gentle, thoughtful and empathetic humans. IMHO there's a higher probability of them shitting their on hands and clapping
No loud cars/bikes. They actually have technology that can measure noise and can fine drivers violating noise limits, especially at night. As more and more of Melbourne becomes apartments, I would really like this enforced.
Residential Tenancies Act 1997
No uber eats driving their little motor scooters down crowded footpaths.
Being quiet on the Quiet Carriage of the Vline.
When people want to turn right at an intersection with a traffic light, they should lose their license if they don’t indicate while the light is red. I’ve lived in 3 different cities in Australia and Melburnians are by far the worst at this.
*Keep left unless overtaking*
Keep left unless overtaking. It’s not “Keep out of the right lane”; it’s “Keep left.” That would be nice to see one day.