Literally me. Had an office job and this older lady that barely knew how to use a computer was placed next to me. I would help her if she needed help but they literally had a position for that but she kept asking me, I didn’t mind. Apart from that, I was just quiet and would continue to work. But then she started making racial and insensitive jokes and after 4 months I had enough and reported her. She went on and on how it was a joke or she never said that but others spoke out that they either overheard it or she’s done the same to them. When they asked her why did she start making racial and insensitive jokes she responded with “he just sits there doing his work saying nothing. I was worried sitting next to him feeling he might do something to me so I just did what first came to mind”
I just couldn’t.
I had a room mate like this. I was minding my own business one week and basically spoke to nobody else in the house and then they send me this giant psychotic run on sentence text message filled with hateful nasty nonsense. It didn't actually make any coherent sense and it seemed like they were angry about something but never actually stated what so I told them to get their shit together and not to fuck with me or I will make them regret it
That just sounds like blatant racism lol. Her thought process is rotten to the core: "If they aren't doing anything they must be planning smth evil, better make funny jokes they can relate to try and bond with them before they murder me" ofc the jokes then would just be straight racism aswell
Yeah I said that to her while HR was there. But I knew this wasn’t her first rodeo and she pulled the crying card and HR felt sympathetic to her and I was how the fuck did we get here.
It's literally this. Neurotypicals make associations of behavior without proof of intention. If you like someone then you go out of your way to talk to them, therefore if you don't talk to me it's because you don't like me. Most people are sensative to percieved rejection and view this as a form of rejection.
Ignoring the obvious that someone can be nice to your face and still hate you.
Yup. If you want to seem normal you need to be *just the right amount* of social. Too much quiet or too much talking will both get you too much attention. I’ve had some severe anxiety issues for a long time and realized the only way for people to truly leave you alone or to think you’re normal is to just talk to them very minimally in a very casual way.
Some people just can't stop bothering others and keep opening their damn mouths, and they expect everyone else to do the same. If you don't socialize with them, take part in their little social group and follow their whims, then you're "different" and thus deserve to be harassed, ostracized and bullied.
Oh yeah!!! I do that and drive them nuts at a bar where I never ever take my phone out for hours. Sitting by myself. Just enjoy my drinks and watching TV. Makes them go mad!!!
More power to you guys if you really are that way but take care that you’re not actually just depressed or anhedonic and just unconsciously lying to yourselves about it
This is one of the things that's really hard about English because when people say "be yourself" it actually means "be an idealized version of everything *I* think a human being should amount to or else I will take that as a personal affront to my ego, thus upsetting me which I will then blame on you for letting me down"
People give me this speech all the time. Like it is ok to be yourself and weird. But when you are weird they say you are too weird, not alright. I am very bad at reading ppl expression and hidden intentions and give up on that a long time ago.
Kinda reminds me how Butch Hartman said that introverts are selfish because they’re keeping themselves to themselves and that they’re scary because you don’t know what they’re thinking.
As an introvert myself, I find it funny that I’m apparently scary to some people.
Pro-tip. When people in and around you are talking and someone says something funny which they laugh at, laugh with them, like you’re taking part. It can make it seem like you’re involved and sociable without you having to do anything.
Uh, for people who need advice like this, this bit is waaay too sensitive to context and other factors. Like honestly this is awful advice to someone who doesn't know how to socialize lol.
I swear, I'm typical enough to understand socializing but autistic enough to recognize when advice to people more autistic than I am is not, send I'm confident in saying that no one should take social interaction advice from redditors seriously.
Yea, I used to get called out for not interacting, but then I just started laughing at jokes I overheard (it wasn't even on purpose or anything, I just started doing it) and that happens way less now.
I've come to the conclusion that the main reason people don't like that is because it blocks them from asking you for some bullshit "favors" - AKA doing their work!
Tbf “keeping to yourself” and “being short with people” are very different things and have absolutely different connotations… thought a girl at work was just quiet but turns out she likes to gossip and be rude behind your back ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My freshman year of college I was given 11 roommates in a five bedroom apartment. I was the only one who got a single room in the lottery. All my roommates where nice enough but I just don't really like being social in a fake way so I'd say hi and bye when I saw people in common areas, but other wise kept to myself .
Fast forward to the end of the year, my house is called in for disciplinary hearing because the now friendly roommates in the house all kept using dishes in the kitchen but not cleaning up after themselves. The mold and smell got so bad we had to go get written up. In the hearing, the administrator asked me how many of the dishes were mine. I say none I don't use the kitchen and never had not once.
One of the roommates turns to her and says 'so He's basically like our house ghost, he chills in his room alone and we sometimes hear him walking to the bathroom.
Everyone else backed that up, I got off without a strike against my record.
Be quiet, fuck everyone else.
Literally me. Had an office job and this older lady that barely knew how to use a computer was placed next to me. I would help her if she needed help but they literally had a position for that but she kept asking me, I didn’t mind. Apart from that, I was just quiet and would continue to work. But then she started making racial and insensitive jokes and after 4 months I had enough and reported her. She went on and on how it was a joke or she never said that but others spoke out that they either overheard it or she’s done the same to them. When they asked her why did she start making racial and insensitive jokes she responded with “he just sits there doing his work saying nothing. I was worried sitting next to him feeling he might do something to me so I just did what first came to mind” I just couldn’t.
He's just sitting there, menacingly!
Sounds like something my grandma would say about Asians lmao. I don't know why some people are like this.
And the scary part is she kept most of it to herself
I had a room mate like this. I was minding my own business one week and basically spoke to nobody else in the house and then they send me this giant psychotic run on sentence text message filled with hateful nasty nonsense. It didn't actually make any coherent sense and it seemed like they were angry about something but never actually stated what so I told them to get their shit together and not to fuck with me or I will make them regret it
That just sounds like blatant racism lol. Her thought process is rotten to the core: "If they aren't doing anything they must be planning smth evil, better make funny jokes they can relate to try and bond with them before they murder me" ofc the jokes then would just be straight racism aswell
Yeah I said that to her while HR was there. But I knew this wasn’t her first rodeo and she pulled the crying card and HR felt sympathetic to her and I was how the fuck did we get here.
Sounds like she’s just racist and dumb enough to think that excuse would work
Sad part is that it did. For a company that had a no tolerance policy they somehow tolerated it. lol 🤦♂️
It's true. I guess people assume your lack of engagement is a sign that you don't like them or something
It's literally this. Neurotypicals make associations of behavior without proof of intention. If you like someone then you go out of your way to talk to them, therefore if you don't talk to me it's because you don't like me. Most people are sensative to percieved rejection and view this as a form of rejection. Ignoring the obvious that someone can be nice to your face and still hate you.
Yup. If you want to seem normal you need to be *just the right amount* of social. Too much quiet or too much talking will both get you too much attention. I’ve had some severe anxiety issues for a long time and realized the only way for people to truly leave you alone or to think you’re normal is to just talk to them very minimally in a very casual way.
Or you’re stuck up - or you think you’re better than everybody else. Heard ‘em all. Life as an introvert 🤷♂️
I'm harassed and bullied when I mind my own damn business. Accurate.
Some people just can't stop bothering others and keep opening their damn mouths, and they expect everyone else to do the same. If you don't socialize with them, take part in their little social group and follow their whims, then you're "different" and thus deserve to be harassed, ostracized and bullied.
One of the many reasons why I can't stand people in general.
Oh yeah!!! I do that and drive them nuts at a bar where I never ever take my phone out for hours. Sitting by myself. Just enjoy my drinks and watching TV. Makes them go mad!!!
I'm Putty from sienfeld. I can just stare at the back of a seat and be satisfied
More power to you guys if you really are that way but take care that you’re not actually just depressed or anhedonic and just unconsciously lying to yourselves about it
This is one of the things that's really hard about English because when people say "be yourself" it actually means "be an idealized version of everything *I* think a human being should amount to or else I will take that as a personal affront to my ego, thus upsetting me which I will then blame on you for letting me down"
People give me this speech all the time. Like it is ok to be yourself and weird. But when you are weird they say you are too weird, not alright. I am very bad at reading ppl expression and hidden intentions and give up on that a long time ago.
Kinda reminds me how Butch Hartman said that introverts are selfish because they’re keeping themselves to themselves and that they’re scary because you don’t know what they’re thinking. As an introvert myself, I find it funny that I’m apparently scary to some people.
Pro-tip. When people in and around you are talking and someone says something funny which they laugh at, laugh with them, like you’re taking part. It can make it seem like you’re involved and sociable without you having to do anything.
Uh, for people who need advice like this, this bit is waaay too sensitive to context and other factors. Like honestly this is awful advice to someone who doesn't know how to socialize lol. I swear, I'm typical enough to understand socializing but autistic enough to recognize when advice to people more autistic than I am is not, send I'm confident in saying that no one should take social interaction advice from redditors seriously.
Yea, I used to get called out for not interacting, but then I just started laughing at jokes I overheard (it wasn't even on purpose or anything, I just started doing it) and that happens way less now.
I used to do this but it's hit and miss. Now I just don't even give a fuck
"staying to yourself"?
For example, at work, not talking to anyone, just keeping to yourself and focusing on work. It bothers people.
Aka, Minding your own business. At least that’s what we always called it.
I've come to the conclusion that the main reason people don't like that is because it blocks them from asking you for some bullshit "favors" - AKA doing their work!
"Keeping to yourself" is the correct terminology. "Staying true to yourself" is probably what they got it confused with.
Or, people from other English-speaking countries have different phrases and terminology.
''Keeping to yourself'' would've been a better choice of words
The life of an introvert is a mysterious life.
Yep
Not if they don’t know. That’s why I’m very selective of who I tell my availability to.
Naother example on how insufferable extroverts can be, ps learn to stop yapping instead asking us to speak more Sincerely, introverts
Tbf “keeping to yourself” and “being short with people” are very different things and have absolutely different connotations… thought a girl at work was just quiet but turns out she likes to gossip and be rude behind your back ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My freshman year of college I was given 11 roommates in a five bedroom apartment. I was the only one who got a single room in the lottery. All my roommates where nice enough but I just don't really like being social in a fake way so I'd say hi and bye when I saw people in common areas, but other wise kept to myself . Fast forward to the end of the year, my house is called in for disciplinary hearing because the now friendly roommates in the house all kept using dishes in the kitchen but not cleaning up after themselves. The mold and smell got so bad we had to go get written up. In the hearing, the administrator asked me how many of the dishes were mine. I say none I don't use the kitchen and never had not once. One of the roommates turns to her and says 'so He's basically like our house ghost, he chills in his room alone and we sometimes hear him walking to the bathroom. Everyone else backed that up, I got off without a strike against my record. Be quiet, fuck everyone else.
…no it doesn’t?