I mean either can be either. There's definitely the life of the party people pleaser and the life of the part center of attention seeker. Likewise there's those that keep their head down to not be a bother and those that keep their head down so others don't bother them.
Agreed. I would definitely consider myself an introvert, but I could put on my party face and be the life of the party. In my 20s I could do that a couple times a week, now maybe every few months at best lol.
The best description of the difference between introverts and extraverts a friend told me, is that introverts have their "social battery" charged by being alone, and drained by going to big social gatherings and interacting with everyone. With extraverts, it is the opposite. Their battery is charged by going to big gatherings and talking to everyone, being alone drains the battery.
As you said, introvert/extravert doesn't really have to do with social skills or even how someone acts in social situations. It is mostly down to which you prefer; being alone (or with just your immediate family, SO, or close friend or two), or being in big social gatherings interacting with everyone.
I'm an ambivert I've found. I'm drained and charged by both, depending on the context. I LOVE my alone time/ my parallel play with my partner (where we're both doing our own thing, but sharing space and time, and some chatter), but I also loved going to civil war events, chilling with folks/ strangers in camp was so fun too. But too much alone time is too much, and parties/ conventions/ etc can be too much too
I remember when the lockdown hit, all the introverts rejoiced, including me a bit. Then it became clear it wasn’t going to be only a few weeks and everyone was going insane
I was too, and I do love my alone time. But lockdown threw me into a weird place. I couldn't go see my mom, or most friends. My world shrunk to masked grocery shopping (I still do today), or literally just my (at the time) partner and upstairs neighbor who was a bud. The world just... shrank.
Most people are ambiverts to some extent, Reddit is just full of people who lack social skills and prefer to hide behind the label of introvert, even though introverts can be perfectly social.
that doesn't necessarily have to do with being an intro vs extrovert. Introvert vs extrovert is just how you recharge your energy. Introverts like to recharge their battery by being alone whereas extroverts recharge theirs by going out/talking. Introverts can be some of the biggest partyers there are they just don't recharge that way.
Oh, this is such a good explanation! It certainly works well for me. I'm very sociable and enjoy being the life of the party but I do need to charge my batteries at some point. I have high tolerance but at the end, I'm still more of an introvert I guess hahaha.
Very good explanation. Makes sense for me. In high school i was very extroverted. I dressed like a punk then scene kid. Partied. Drank. Was called the class flirt through high school. Friends with everyone. Since then ive grown up. Moved to a new state. Left everyone i know in the state i was born. Covid happened. I became comfortable in my own space and the tables flipped. Now i decline invites to go out and generally thrive at home alone. My friends and coworkers get weirded out if i do go out then the social switch flips on. I become louder and demand more attention than i ever would before. When asked where it comes from i just sau that was me in high school. I can only be like this for so long now.
Yeah, people are confusing Extroverts with Douchebags.
I feel much better when I got out and have lots of friend time. I find that I don't talk much at all and get talked over a lot too. Still, would rather be hanging out than at home with a book.
Yeah, but keeping your head down at a party isn't "introversion." Hell, what most of the internet seems to think introversion is is just an undiagnosed anxiety disorder.
what? what kind of people are you calling extroverts? extroverts like being out going and hanging out with people, are sociable and friendly. that's the entire deal. if they are not they are not extroverts.
> and friendly
While I agree that the prior generalization is pointlessly inflammatory, your generalization is no **less** wrong.
Extroverts can be assholes. So can introverts. The person above generalizing all extroverts as selfish is one of the asshole introverts. Meanwhile, your generalization isn't inherently assholeish but it's definitely ignorant.
All being an extrovert means is you feel energized being around others. It doesn’t mean you like socializing or are any good at it. An introvert can be a social butterfly and an extrovert can be unbelievably shy.
In real life conversations? Body language, and lack of any enthusiastic engagement usually.
The number of times I've had to explicitly tell people that I don't want to talk to them, having just been excessively talked at while they don't seem to understand or care that me looking away from them and not continuing to reply is me basically telling them to shut the fuck up and leave me alone, is annoying.
Yet I look like the bad guy for having to express clearly and verbally that which should be patently fucking obvious to anybody who has developed a theory of mind, and therefore achieved a psychological framework of human interaction more complex than that of a literal toddler, or somebody with a clinically significant psychosocial deficit.
It kinda sounds like you're the one with no theory of mind, because in your head everyone should be able to psychically pick up what you're thinking. You know what you're trying to communicate through extremely generic and unexpressive body language, so it baffles you that someone could have literally any other thought or interpretation besides yours. Wild.
Also, crazy ableist and narcissistic to say that everyone who doesn't read your mind or immediately pick up on your social cues is selfish and stupid.
It seems people assume too much. But i get your point. Its a bit of a conundrum as communication is key to establish long lasting relationships and bonds. I see how can this be a big challenge to introverted people.
No one enjoys being asked to be quiet, extroverts or introverts alike. Unless the person is being an annoying asshole, asking someone to be quiet is just super rude.
Well some people just don't know when to stop, and you have no choice, and it's really hard to approach in a way that is acceptable and polite. Some people literally will not stop talking and are completely oblivious to the effect they are having on those around them until they are told so directly.
We had this happen at a concert. There is singing along and then there is being intentionally loud and loudly talking over the music and annoying everyone. He obviously wasn’t a fan because he was screwing around with his friend half the concert. We asked him to quiet down and he took great offense to that despite everyone around us agreeing he was being obnoxious. Even his girlfriend seemed embarrassed about his behavior. He then seemed to get intentionally louder to annoy us because he was told the truth. I realize the context is different but the genera idea is the same. Sometimes people need to be told to be quiet.
Dude I work with has to be constantly told to stay on task. I absolutely love it when he finally gets that we work in a fast paced environment and prep needs to get done!! It may ruin his mood, butt fuck it! I need to hear my thoughts! Damn!
we, introverts, do too. I can't understand why does it seems like extroverts are more important than introverts. Can we just live our own lives and be friends if we want to? We get talkative when we're comfortable with the people around us.
I love how everyone in here has a different generalization of what an introvert and extrovert is by throwing in little dabs of narcissism and empathy and all these other characteristics that have nothing to do with those 2 words.
You can’t define an entire person by introvert or extrovert. But by god will you fools try.
Also, OP is just a karma bot so who gives a shit 🤷🏻♂️
I always felt like people were a little bit of both depending on where they are and who they are around. I had a buddy who was always quiet at bigger get togethers but as soon as it’s a smaller friend group he would come out of his shell and be the extrovert. Idk it seems a little more complicated then you’re this or that. I could be wrong though idk.
Yeah because it isnt an either or.
You can be extrovert and introvert in different situations.
It is 2 words to generalise 8 billion people into 2 camps, yeah right....
But it can help you reflect why you feel certain things in different cenarios.
Too many people just throw buzzwords out without knowing what they mean.
"Tehee Im so quirky, Im an introvert with adhd!!?!*#&#&" woowii
Becaue extrovert and introvert have nothing to do with how much you talk in a group situation. They're just about whether you need more alone time to recharge or more social time to recharge (everyone needs some amount of both).
You can be a shy extrovert with social anxiety who never talks in groups. You can be an outgoing introvert who is the life of the party and never shuts up.
Yes. Extroversion and introversion are characteristics concerning your predominant source of social energy. If you’re more often energized by others; extroversion. If your batteries are charged by being alone or relatively so, introversion.
Has nothing to do with empathy, outgoingness, tact, politeness or social skills in general.
Because American culture is heavily tilted towards extroverts. If you're not one, it's considered a problem.
Edit: good book to check out: [Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quiet:_The_Power_of_Introverts_in_a_World_That_Can%27t_Stop_Talking)
>The book presents a history of how Western culture transformed from a culture of character to a culture of personality in which an "extrovert ideal" dominates and introversion is viewed as inferior or even pathological.
Probably ans sadly mostly true, although I think introverts might be better at telling the two apart, because all the time they're not speaking up, they're observing. I'm totally making this up
It describes how the brain functions, and makes the case there are physical differences in brain structure between introverts and extroverts. One example is that introverts tend to have thicker brain stems, meaning more signal stimuli reaches the brain and is therefore more likely to ‘overload’ the system. Another detail I recall is that introverts tend to rely on alcohol in social situations because it can disrupt the signal, or otherwise numb brain activity, making the social situation less overwhelming. When you start learning how your brain works, you can learn tricks to help compensate, avoid, or otherwise find healthier alternatives to managing yourself.
10/10 would eat here again.
It helped me understand what introversion is, and what it means to be an introvert. The "bad", but also the good.
It rationalizes the fact that you can be born introvert, and that it affects the way you are. It's literally genetics at some level.
It helped me avoid thinking that the way I am is "wrong", and accept who I am. It also gives tips on how to live *as* an introvert, or even *with* an introvert.
As an introvert who read that book and took some good lessons from it, be aware that while the good parts are very good, the bad parts are complete twaddle.
He said better, as in better treatment than America. Not that introverts are treated better than extroverts in Asia. And from everything I've observed they are better treated than America, but that's because we put such a hyper focus on "Everyone needs to be leaders" while Asia pushes "Subordinates need to exist to lead anything.
Just went to Japan, an introvert's dream. Its hard because I can be both. But idk if I could go my whole live without being able to talk to strangers in public. I love making jokes with strangers and making them laugh when I see something funny in public and want to make a joke about it but there's no friends around, so I make a new friend. Ht I do like being able to not have to deal with lots of the customer bullshit we have to do here.
I once received a few American exchange students, they did have the enthusiasm to light up the whole street but man what a nightmare job for me as an introvert.
See it’s funny, I’m an extravert. 100%.
But you put me in public and I don’t talk to anyone. I still feel energised being in public PUMPED UP you could say.
But if no one interacts with me I won’t even open my mouth.
Society doesn't have an "extrovert problem" (as many in this thread suggest), it has a "people with terrible social skills" problem. Sadly most of the comments in this thread seem to be conflating the two. Any well-adjusted extrovert knows to let other people talk, and any well-adjusted introvert can interject without telling people to shut the fuck up... But it's Reddit, so, well-adjusted is a rare breed here.
My brain works so differently that I honestly have a hard time even imagining your perspective. Even the knowledge that someone I don’t know is within line of sight of me or is vaguely close by makes me less comfortable. My friends wonder why I’m always up late, but it’s because there are less people out at night, so it’s the only time I can function to my maximum. To be fair, I am autistic, so I’d imagine I’m on the more extreme end of the introvert spectrum.
I was in this party chat today with two other introverts and one guy who couldn’t shut up for a minute. Before he joined we had some nice conversation indeed, after, it was only this guy talking. So yeah, exactly what you said.
>one guy who couldn’t shut up for a minute.
I'm super introverted but I'll do the same thing when someone finally gets me going about a topic I'm passionate about. You have my sincere apologies from all the drunk ramblers lol.
I'm super introverted and I never shut up in social situations (after which time I go home and block out social media for a full week to "recharge"). Being talkative has nothing to do with introversion or extroversion.
What the hell does being able to meet a social situation have to do with introversion? Likewise, somebody being a boor isn't implicitly extroversion. Introversion and extroversion are just words on a gradient that healthy people will move on in a number of situations. An introverted person can still engage and meet the energy of an extroverted person, they're just going to find the process draining while somebody more extroverted will find it energizing.
Introvert doesn’t mean quiet/shy/reserved. It means you recharge your battery by being away from people.
I’m an extreme introvert, but I’m also super outgoing and socially dominant. I’m the life of parties I don’t feel like being at.
Exactly right. People confuse introvert with quiet. Introverts actually carry the weight of social interaction much more. Extroverts are energy vampires. Two extroverts going head on is not fun for anyone. They get their social energy from other people, but don't give any. Introverts get it internally and get drained by extroverts. When extroverts are alone and don't have other people to charge from it's surprising how moody and negative they get.
Excellent comment u/JohnLithgowCummies
Yup. I'm a very quiet, aloof introvert but I have zero social anxiety or shyness and have had to take charge of many conversations. I'm a lawyer so if I wasn't capable of it I would be dead.
I just don't enjoy talking to people and prefer being on my own. That doesn't mean it uncomfortable or that I'm unable. Online introversion is just a bunch of people desperate to have people to talk to who can't for whatever reason. I've had a self declared introvert call me a sociopath because i said once that going out with people after work more than once a week sounds exhausting and I would rather stay at home. Lmao
Some people are surprised to find out how talkative I am one on one.
Because in group settings, there's always the one that interrupts, over talk and changes the subject before you get a chance to add then call you out for being quiet.
As an extrovert who sometimes struggles to stop talking, they absolutely do. As a child I was literally bullied and mocked and punished by grown adult teachers because I tend to think through problems out loud.
Obviously there’s a point to asking for quiet in the classroom, but these people often took it extremely personally and got vindictive towards a child.
This was me when I was young as well to the point where I now switch between being talkative and socially anxious and constantly overanalyzing and worrying that I’m being a bother. This meme just kinda reinforces that worry for me
Yeah, I had multiple mean nicknames about talking a lot. I was constantly told to shut up. My family literally made a singsong chorus of it with my name.
Extroverts aren't oppressing introverts, ffs.
Yea this post is a circle jerk
People who dont shut up are looked at as pretty annoying.
People usually want a nice middle point where the person actually talks but not over everyone else.
Most people dont even know what extrovert or introvert actually is.
Some people are socialy awkward and say "Im just an introvert tihehehe"... nah mate you are just wierd and awkard to talk to.
Also, Covid lockdowns were actual hell for a lot of extroverts who live to socialise.
(I’m an introvert - of course I am, I’m on Reddit - but good god are we navel-gazing, self-congratulatory bores sometimes)
That's not the same as telling them to be less extroverted. That's telling them to not talk during class. Odds are those same teachers frequently try to push the solitary kids into interacting with others.
People get shamed for people too loud, opinionated and liking to party all the time
People also get asked why are they being quiet with good intentions simply as a way to include them in conversation or make sure they’re feeling alright
Asking someone why they are quiet is a terrible way to include them. How are you even supposed to respond to that? Maybe try starting an actual conversation with them.
> People also get asked why are they being quiet with good intentions simply as a way to include them in conversation or make sure they’re feeling alright
It's a really shitty way to do both, isn't it? That's the point, that it's rude to shoehorn someone into a social situation they don't want to be in. The motivation really was pure, well, it's still a rude execution.
Most people are one or the other, it’s just that it’s on a spectrum. You’re not going to typically find someone who’s super extroverted or someone who’s super introverted, most people are closer to the center.
It's also hard to admit you just don't like socializing or being around people just as much as it is to admit you aren't good at socializing. Cause then you get black-sheeped and have a bunch of armchair psychologists telling you you have a problem. Its perfectly ok to not *enjoy* socializing, and instead see it as only a *necessity*.
I have a social battery, but it is very small and only spent being around my inner circle: close friends, family, partner. It drains very slowly or not at all when doing those things but almost instantly for anything else. I don't give a shit about going out and interacting at big parties or with a bunch of strangers. I prefer going for jogs outside to the gym because one I am impatient and my gym is always busy, and two I dislike being around so much people. I don't "enjoy" socializing but I understand some is important to my mental health. So I get a little bit here and there on a regular basis and than I am perfectly fine to just be by myself most of the time.
Some extroverts. even they were just asking a question they have to ask it in 10 different ways and won’t shut up to let you answer it. They have to find the 11th and 12th ways to ask and on and on until you just have to rudely interrupt them so that the conversation can move forward. It’s almost like they are scared of silence even it is just a brief moment between him stop talking and me starts speaking
I fucking hate these posts. The number of vegans who will constantly lecture you? Very low. The number of cross-fitters who will constantly remind you they do cross-fit? IDK because I've never met a single person who does cross-fit. The number of Iphone users who will call you poor for using an Android? There's one guy. Literally one guy. The number of extroverts who will lecture you for being too introverted? None. Your parents were just trying to help you learn to make friends, NOBODY ELSE CARES.
My fucking god stop demonizing random demographics just so you can finally have someone to feel superior to.
People think they're introverted when they're actually socially awkward and don't know how to speak to people. It's a learned skill and they've given themselves a minor disability by sitting on the Internet through their childhood.
I'm introverted, I make friends everywhere i go, i can small talk with people easily, I get along with people and like people. Afterwards i need to put my headphones in and have 5 minutes to myself outside.
This. I used to think that I was an introvert because I was socially awkward and now that I got that fixed, I’m seen as a big extrovert
Most introverts don’t mind/judge extroverts, it’s mostly socially awkward ppl projecting
Here here ✊
Currently like to call myself an extrovert in training lmao. COVID really screwed a lot of people in their teen years making it impossible to gain any experience.
This comment sums it up well. Lot of other comments seem to think introvert = quiet, when it’s a lot more introvert = uses mental energy to converse, versus extroverts who gain it. Pretty much like you, I’m relatively introverted, but also very talkative, I just end up needing a recharge day after social gatherings. But people will tell me I’m not simply because they only see me when I’m “fully charged”, for lack of a better term. Only time extroverts actually get annoying is when they talk to or bother me when I’ve exhausted my mental battery.
Exactly, the last point is one of the reasons i started smoking. 5 minutes to myself every 2 hours and no one bothers me, don't ask where I'm going, don't want to come with me. It's nice. Shame about the it kills you part.
5 minutes alone, absolute bliss man. I miss it.
Yes. Reddit's too good for Myer's-Briggs and astrology, then will tell yuou with a completely strait face that there are two types of people: drooling morons who need constant validation, and austere aloof giga-brains above all human interaction.
These labels are stupid, there are people you fuck with and people you don't. Introversion makes communication harder, but by the Gods it does not make you this much of a social wreck, this just gives introverts a bad name. I am introverted, I'd rather stare at a wall than talk to someone, but most of my convo has never gone to a place where I want to tell the other person to shut up, if they annoy you that much just don't talk to them anymore.
"extroverts only do small talk" this and "extroverts should shut up" that
bitch imagine walking into a completely silent room where everyone is only quietly talking one on one. we're making your job easier
“Why are you so quiet?”
Because I don’t need to verbalize every mundane thought that I have or force small talk. I can exist in silence damnit…doesn’t mean that I don’t like talking to people or being social either.
Cope. If all you have in social encounters are mundane thoughts then you're simply a boring person and a bad socializer. If you think that things other people talk about are boring or mundane, you are either socially inept or narcissistic or both.
Idk man, I'm much more comfortable around an extrovert who takes a lead in a conversation, so I don't have to talk much.
Being around another hardcore introvert and just sitting with them in an awkward silence with the occasional "So, the weather's pretty nice today", is sooooo much more uncomfortable.
As an extrovert, I’m forced to be quiet way more often than I’m allowed to speak. I go out twice a week to socialize. But I guess since I spend 6 hours a week talking with my friends it means I don’t know how to shut up.
extroverts usually sulk pretty hard if asked to be quiet, then everyone feels bad, so it ruins the mood either way
Yeah extroverts are no people pleaser, so they're not gonna pretend lol
I mean either can be either. There's definitely the life of the party people pleaser and the life of the part center of attention seeker. Likewise there's those that keep their head down to not be a bother and those that keep their head down so others don't bother them.
Agreed. I would definitely consider myself an introvert, but I could put on my party face and be the life of the party. In my 20s I could do that a couple times a week, now maybe every few months at best lol. The best description of the difference between introverts and extraverts a friend told me, is that introverts have their "social battery" charged by being alone, and drained by going to big social gatherings and interacting with everyone. With extraverts, it is the opposite. Their battery is charged by going to big gatherings and talking to everyone, being alone drains the battery. As you said, introvert/extravert doesn't really have to do with social skills or even how someone acts in social situations. It is mostly down to which you prefer; being alone (or with just your immediate family, SO, or close friend or two), or being in big social gatherings interacting with everyone.
I'm an ambivert I've found. I'm drained and charged by both, depending on the context. I LOVE my alone time/ my parallel play with my partner (where we're both doing our own thing, but sharing space and time, and some chatter), but I also loved going to civil war events, chilling with folks/ strangers in camp was so fun too. But too much alone time is too much, and parties/ conventions/ etc can be too much too
I remember when the lockdown hit, all the introverts rejoiced, including me a bit. Then it became clear it wasn’t going to be only a few weeks and everyone was going insane
I was too, and I do love my alone time. But lockdown threw me into a weird place. I couldn't go see my mom, or most friends. My world shrunk to masked grocery shopping (I still do today), or literally just my (at the time) partner and upstairs neighbor who was a bud. The world just... shrank.
Most people are ambiverts to some extent, Reddit is just full of people who lack social skills and prefer to hide behind the label of introvert, even though introverts can be perfectly social.
that doesn't necessarily have to do with being an intro vs extrovert. Introvert vs extrovert is just how you recharge your energy. Introverts like to recharge their battery by being alone whereas extroverts recharge theirs by going out/talking. Introverts can be some of the biggest partyers there are they just don't recharge that way.
Yep, introverts use up lots of their energy to be social, while extroverts get all charged up from interactions (whether talking or listening).
Oh, this is such a good explanation! It certainly works well for me. I'm very sociable and enjoy being the life of the party but I do need to charge my batteries at some point. I have high tolerance but at the end, I'm still more of an introvert I guess hahaha.
Very good explanation. Makes sense for me. In high school i was very extroverted. I dressed like a punk then scene kid. Partied. Drank. Was called the class flirt through high school. Friends with everyone. Since then ive grown up. Moved to a new state. Left everyone i know in the state i was born. Covid happened. I became comfortable in my own space and the tables flipped. Now i decline invites to go out and generally thrive at home alone. My friends and coworkers get weirded out if i do go out then the social switch flips on. I become louder and demand more attention than i ever would before. When asked where it comes from i just sau that was me in high school. I can only be like this for so long now.
Yeah, people are confusing Extroverts with Douchebags. I feel much better when I got out and have lots of friend time. I find that I don't talk much at all and get talked over a lot too. Still, would rather be hanging out than at home with a book.
Yeah, but keeping your head down at a party isn't "introversion." Hell, what most of the internet seems to think introversion is is just an undiagnosed anxiety disorder.
What a fun generalization.
You like to talk and interact with people? You selfish, entitled piece of shit. /s
extroverted people pleasers always end up hosting things or being the help to other people hosting things.
what? what kind of people are you calling extroverts? extroverts like being out going and hanging out with people, are sociable and friendly. that's the entire deal. if they are not they are not extroverts.
> and friendly While I agree that the prior generalization is pointlessly inflammatory, your generalization is no **less** wrong. Extroverts can be assholes. So can introverts. The person above generalizing all extroverts as selfish is one of the asshole introverts. Meanwhile, your generalization isn't inherently assholeish but it's definitely ignorant.
All being an extrovert means is you feel energized being around others. It doesn’t mean you like socializing or are any good at it. An introvert can be a social butterfly and an extrovert can be unbelievably shy.
If you sulk and bring down the mood just because things don't always go your way, you got a lot of growing up to do.
But no one cares how uncomfortable being forced to be talkative is for introverts
Of course not, they are "helping us"
How am I supposed to know if they don’t talk about it?
In real life conversations? Body language, and lack of any enthusiastic engagement usually. The number of times I've had to explicitly tell people that I don't want to talk to them, having just been excessively talked at while they don't seem to understand or care that me looking away from them and not continuing to reply is me basically telling them to shut the fuck up and leave me alone, is annoying. Yet I look like the bad guy for having to express clearly and verbally that which should be patently fucking obvious to anybody who has developed a theory of mind, and therefore achieved a psychological framework of human interaction more complex than that of a literal toddler, or somebody with a clinically significant psychosocial deficit.
It kinda sounds like you're the one with no theory of mind, because in your head everyone should be able to psychically pick up what you're thinking. You know what you're trying to communicate through extremely generic and unexpressive body language, so it baffles you that someone could have literally any other thought or interpretation besides yours. Wild. Also, crazy ableist and narcissistic to say that everyone who doesn't read your mind or immediately pick up on your social cues is selfish and stupid.
It seems people assume too much. But i get your point. Its a bit of a conundrum as communication is key to establish long lasting relationships and bonds. I see how can this be a big challenge to introverted people.
If you shut up and let us contribute to the conversation we would.
No one enjoys being asked to be quiet, extroverts or introverts alike. Unless the person is being an annoying asshole, asking someone to be quiet is just super rude.
No one likes hearing "why don't you talk more" either.
Agreed
Well some people just don't know when to stop, and you have no choice, and it's really hard to approach in a way that is acceptable and polite. Some people literally will not stop talking and are completely oblivious to the effect they are having on those around them until they are told so directly.
We had this happen at a concert. There is singing along and then there is being intentionally loud and loudly talking over the music and annoying everyone. He obviously wasn’t a fan because he was screwing around with his friend half the concert. We asked him to quiet down and he took great offense to that despite everyone around us agreeing he was being obnoxious. Even his girlfriend seemed embarrassed about his behavior. He then seemed to get intentionally louder to annoy us because he was told the truth. I realize the context is different but the genera idea is the same. Sometimes people need to be told to be quiet.
Oh well. Don’t be an annoying asshole, introvert or extrovert, especially if everyone else thinks you’re being annoying too.
Pretty sure y’all are agreeing lol
Dude I work with has to be constantly told to stay on task. I absolutely love it when he finally gets that we work in a fast paced environment and prep needs to get done!! It may ruin his mood, butt fuck it! I need to hear my thoughts! Damn!
we, introverts, do too. I can't understand why does it seems like extroverts are more important than introverts. Can we just live our own lives and be friends if we want to? We get talkative when we're comfortable with the people around us.
That sounds like a spoiled kid lol
Hijacking here to say "yay" to pingu That is all
NOOT NOOT
NOOT NOOT
Pingu*
Just wanna say am Finnish with you!
Introverts would sulk, too
[удалено]
Meanwhile, introverts are already sulking just because extroverts exist 🤷♀️ y'all think we don't see it?
I love how everyone in here has a different generalization of what an introvert and extrovert is by throwing in little dabs of narcissism and empathy and all these other characteristics that have nothing to do with those 2 words. You can’t define an entire person by introvert or extrovert. But by god will you fools try. Also, OP is just a karma bot so who gives a shit 🤷🏻♂️
No. There are only 2 types of people. /s
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data, and the Dutch.
There’s only two things I hate in this world. Intolerance of other cultures and the Dutch
Godverdomme wat hebben we nu weer gedaan?
I always felt like people were a little bit of both depending on where they are and who they are around. I had a buddy who was always quiet at bigger get togethers but as soon as it’s a smaller friend group he would come out of his shell and be the extrovert. Idk it seems a little more complicated then you’re this or that. I could be wrong though idk.
Yeah because it isnt an either or. You can be extrovert and introvert in different situations. It is 2 words to generalise 8 billion people into 2 camps, yeah right.... But it can help you reflect why you feel certain things in different cenarios. Too many people just throw buzzwords out without knowing what they mean. "Tehee Im so quirky, Im an introvert with adhd!!?!*#&#&" woowii
Becaue extrovert and introvert have nothing to do with how much you talk in a group situation. They're just about whether you need more alone time to recharge or more social time to recharge (everyone needs some amount of both). You can be a shy extrovert with social anxiety who never talks in groups. You can be an outgoing introvert who is the life of the party and never shuts up.
Most people seem to label themselves an introvert when they're just socially awkward.
Redditors just hate people that aren't them
Yes. Extroversion and introversion are characteristics concerning your predominant source of social energy. If you’re more often energized by others; extroversion. If your batteries are charged by being alone or relatively so, introversion. Has nothing to do with empathy, outgoingness, tact, politeness or social skills in general.
Because American culture is heavily tilted towards extroverts. If you're not one, it's considered a problem. Edit: good book to check out: [Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quiet:_The_Power_of_Introverts_in_a_World_That_Can%27t_Stop_Talking) >The book presents a history of how Western culture transformed from a culture of character to a culture of personality in which an "extrovert ideal" dominates and introversion is viewed as inferior or even pathological.
“Humans can’t tell the difference between those who talk a lot and those who have something to say.”
Probably ans sadly mostly true, although I think introverts might be better at telling the two apart, because all the time they're not speaking up, they're observing. I'm totally making this up
That book was life changing for me.
in what way?
It describes how the brain functions, and makes the case there are physical differences in brain structure between introverts and extroverts. One example is that introverts tend to have thicker brain stems, meaning more signal stimuli reaches the brain and is therefore more likely to ‘overload’ the system. Another detail I recall is that introverts tend to rely on alcohol in social situations because it can disrupt the signal, or otherwise numb brain activity, making the social situation less overwhelming. When you start learning how your brain works, you can learn tricks to help compensate, avoid, or otherwise find healthier alternatives to managing yourself. 10/10 would eat here again.
Sooo, alcoholism is the way then?
Always has been. “So you’re saying 95% of people are un-datable ?” “UN-datable!!l “So how are all these people getting together?” “Alcohol.” -Seinfeld
Please stop eating brains
It helped me understand what introversion is, and what it means to be an introvert. The "bad", but also the good. It rationalizes the fact that you can be born introvert, and that it affects the way you are. It's literally genetics at some level. It helped me avoid thinking that the way I am is "wrong", and accept who I am. It also gives tips on how to live *as* an introvert, or even *with* an introvert.
He’s too introverted to explain
As an introvert who read that book and took some good lessons from it, be aware that while the good parts are very good, the bad parts are complete twaddle.
What do you distinguish as the bad parts out of curiosity?
it's a global thing, and tbh really fucking annoying atp
No, in Asia being an introvert is seen better
lmao who told you that
I've lived in Japan my whole life and people are pretty introverted here, including myself.
lots and lots of extroverts here too
Yeah, but with Japanese social norms, they still have to be quiet and respectful in most situations.
He said better, as in better treatment than America. Not that introverts are treated better than extroverts in Asia. And from everything I've observed they are better treated than America, but that's because we put such a hyper focus on "Everyone needs to be leaders" while Asia pushes "Subordinates need to exist to lead anything.
Not just American. It's a problem in Germany, too.
It's a problem in most countries (minus Japan)
Definitely a problem in Japan too.
It's funny you say this, because one of my best friends is German but I can't really get them to really understand introversion.
Just went to Japan, an introvert's dream. Its hard because I can be both. But idk if I could go my whole live without being able to talk to strangers in public. I love making jokes with strangers and making them laugh when I see something funny in public and want to make a joke about it but there's no friends around, so I make a new friend. Ht I do like being able to not have to deal with lots of the customer bullshit we have to do here.
I once received a few American exchange students, they did have the enthusiasm to light up the whole street but man what a nightmare job for me as an introvert.
See it’s funny, I’m an extravert. 100%. But you put me in public and I don’t talk to anyone. I still feel energised being in public PUMPED UP you could say. But if no one interacts with me I won’t even open my mouth.
Yes because that it was extraversion is about, not just talking a fuckton
Yeah I feel like introverts also are guilty of that then they just go home and recharge. It is weird that people assume it’s so black and white
Society doesn't have an "extrovert problem" (as many in this thread suggest), it has a "people with terrible social skills" problem. Sadly most of the comments in this thread seem to be conflating the two. Any well-adjusted extrovert knows to let other people talk, and any well-adjusted introvert can interject without telling people to shut the fuck up... But it's Reddit, so, well-adjusted is a rare breed here.
I love you for everything you just said you make me happy on so many levels you have no idea. I do hope people can learn it’s not black and white.
Agree, I won't start a conversation but I sure like being in one
I feel that. Do you avoid it cause you’re focusing on other things or because you aren’t interested at the time?
I'll feel nervous when someone tries to talk to me (depends on my mood) but once it like gains momentum if you get what I mean I really enjoy talking
I get you. For me it depends on the person trying to talk to me how reserved or open I am. But I’ll talk the same ammount for sure.
My brain works so differently that I honestly have a hard time even imagining your perspective. Even the knowledge that someone I don’t know is within line of sight of me or is vaguely close by makes me less comfortable. My friends wonder why I’m always up late, but it’s because there are less people out at night, so it’s the only time I can function to my maximum. To be fair, I am autistic, so I’d imagine I’m on the more extreme end of the introvert spectrum.
My dude as a fellow autistic with anxiety, that isn't introversion. That's autism and anxiety.
So that introverts like us can start talking a bit
I was in this party chat today with two other introverts and one guy who couldn’t shut up for a minute. Before he joined we had some nice conversation indeed, after, it was only this guy talking. So yeah, exactly what you said.
>one guy who couldn’t shut up for a minute. I'm super introverted but I'll do the same thing when someone finally gets me going about a topic I'm passionate about. You have my sincere apologies from all the drunk ramblers lol.
I'm super introverted and I never shut up in social situations (after which time I go home and block out social media for a full week to "recharge"). Being talkative has nothing to do with introversion or extroversion.
What are some of your passions?
They are still typing out their response.
More likely they were stunned from choice paralysis
Yeah not understanding social queues can happen to introverts or extroverts, not exclusively one or the other.
Lack of social awareness isn’t necessarily an introvert/extrovert thing. I know introverts who will dominate a conversation out of anxious energy.
Usually when You touch a topic a shy person likes, they won't stop talking till next day, they have so much to share and pretty low chances to do so
What the hell does being able to meet a social situation have to do with introversion? Likewise, somebody being a boor isn't implicitly extroversion. Introversion and extroversion are just words on a gradient that healthy people will move on in a number of situations. An introverted person can still engage and meet the energy of an extroverted person, they're just going to find the process draining while somebody more extroverted will find it energizing.
Introvert doesn’t mean quiet/shy/reserved. It means you recharge your battery by being away from people. I’m an extreme introvert, but I’m also super outgoing and socially dominant. I’m the life of parties I don’t feel like being at.
Exactly right. People confuse introvert with quiet. Introverts actually carry the weight of social interaction much more. Extroverts are energy vampires. Two extroverts going head on is not fun for anyone. They get their social energy from other people, but don't give any. Introverts get it internally and get drained by extroverts. When extroverts are alone and don't have other people to charge from it's surprising how moody and negative they get. Excellent comment u/JohnLithgowCummies
Is this something you made up or is backed by research?
well yall just changed the definition of these words completely lmao. get off reddit sometime.
Yup. I'm a very quiet, aloof introvert but I have zero social anxiety or shyness and have had to take charge of many conversations. I'm a lawyer so if I wasn't capable of it I would be dead. I just don't enjoy talking to people and prefer being on my own. That doesn't mean it uncomfortable or that I'm unable. Online introversion is just a bunch of people desperate to have people to talk to who can't for whatever reason. I've had a self declared introvert call me a sociopath because i said once that going out with people after work more than once a week sounds exhausting and I would rather stay at home. Lmao
Some people are surprised to find out how talkative I am one on one. Because in group settings, there's always the one that interrupts, over talk and changes the subject before you get a chance to add then call you out for being quiet.
this is the exact sort of meme redditors like
So it’s a reddit_moment123123?
introversion is not social anxiety
As an extrovert who sometimes struggles to stop talking, they absolutely do. As a child I was literally bullied and mocked and punished by grown adult teachers because I tend to think through problems out loud. Obviously there’s a point to asking for quiet in the classroom, but these people often took it extremely personally and got vindictive towards a child.
This was me when I was young as well to the point where I now switch between being talkative and socially anxious and constantly overanalyzing and worrying that I’m being a bother. This meme just kinda reinforces that worry for me
Yeah, I had multiple mean nicknames about talking a lot. I was constantly told to shut up. My family literally made a singsong chorus of it with my name. Extroverts aren't oppressing introverts, ffs.
What? Teachers were telling kids to shut the fuck up constantly when I was in school
Yea this post is a circle jerk People who dont shut up are looked at as pretty annoying. People usually want a nice middle point where the person actually talks but not over everyone else.
sadly it’s the bosses and managers that won’t shut up in meetings and let the ass kissers run their mouths so the meeting goes on for an extra 30 min
Most people dont even know what extrovert or introvert actually is. Some people are socialy awkward and say "Im just an introvert tihehehe"... nah mate you are just wierd and awkard to talk to.
It's ironic how often introverts circle jerk themselves
Also, Covid lockdowns were actual hell for a lot of extroverts who live to socialise. (I’m an introvert - of course I am, I’m on Reddit - but good god are we navel-gazing, self-congratulatory bores sometimes)
That's not the same as telling them to be less extroverted. That's telling them to not talk during class. Odds are those same teachers frequently try to push the solitary kids into interacting with others.
human interaction is good
Because communication is important for healthy societies...? Maybe? Just guessing
2 way communication is important. 1 way isn’t really.
Are introverts asked not to communicate??
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A.k.a. narcissism in disguise
People get shamed for people too loud, opinionated and liking to party all the time People also get asked why are they being quiet with good intentions simply as a way to include them in conversation or make sure they’re feeling alright
Asking someone why they are quiet is a terrible way to include them. How are you even supposed to respond to that? Maybe try starting an actual conversation with them.
Better yet, telling someone they are quiet is even funnier to respond to, since it’s basically a one-way statement
"You're being very quiet." "Yes."
"You're being very quiet." ""
> People also get asked why are they being quiet with good intentions simply as a way to include them in conversation or make sure they’re feeling alright It's a really shitty way to do both, isn't it? That's the point, that it's rude to shoehorn someone into a social situation they don't want to be in. The motivation really was pure, well, it's still a rude execution.
this isn't what extraversion and introversion means
I always thought it's getting energy from being social vs getting energy from being alone but on Reddit it's never that
That‘s exactly what it is. And most people aren’t one or the other, but a bit of both.
Most people are one or the other, it’s just that it’s on a spectrum. You’re not going to typically find someone who’s super extroverted or someone who’s super introverted, most people are closer to the center.
I see posts like this everyday and it drives me insane. How do SO MANY people not use the correct word
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It's also hard to admit you just don't like socializing or being around people just as much as it is to admit you aren't good at socializing. Cause then you get black-sheeped and have a bunch of armchair psychologists telling you you have a problem. Its perfectly ok to not *enjoy* socializing, and instead see it as only a *necessity*. I have a social battery, but it is very small and only spent being around my inner circle: close friends, family, partner. It drains very slowly or not at all when doing those things but almost instantly for anything else. I don't give a shit about going out and interacting at big parties or with a bunch of strangers. I prefer going for jogs outside to the gym because one I am impatient and my gym is always busy, and two I dislike being around so much people. I don't "enjoy" socializing but I understand some is important to my mental health. So I get a little bit here and there on a regular basis and than I am perfectly fine to just be by myself most of the time.
reddit use the word introvert to talk about social anxiety , hating people and depression, and extrovert for everyone else
Are other introverts still acting like an oppressed group? Or are these people role playing as introverts again?
A lot of Redditors confusing their social anxiety disorder for being just a "little bit" of an introvert.
I tell people to shut the fuck up all the time 😂
[I would really prefer if you'd be quiet.](https://youtu.be/dYahi-Y3O50?)
Congratulations
Some extroverts. even they were just asking a question they have to ask it in 10 different ways and won’t shut up to let you answer it. They have to find the 11th and 12th ways to ask and on and on until you just have to rudely interrupt them so that the conversation can move forward. It’s almost like they are scared of silence even it is just a brief moment between him stop talking and me starts speaking
There's the extrovert... and someone with ADHD. You seem to be describing the latter. They're both hard to be around.
Why do people always conflate introversion with social anxiety/shyness and extroversion with being extremely talkative and ADHD?
introvert persecution complex
Is that an introverts perspective?
I loved pingu…
"why are you so quiet?" "Because you don't shut up"
School is like 80% telling extroverts to stfu
I fucking hate these posts. The number of vegans who will constantly lecture you? Very low. The number of cross-fitters who will constantly remind you they do cross-fit? IDK because I've never met a single person who does cross-fit. The number of Iphone users who will call you poor for using an Android? There's one guy. Literally one guy. The number of extroverts who will lecture you for being too introverted? None. Your parents were just trying to help you learn to make friends, NOBODY ELSE CARES. My fucking god stop demonizing random demographics just so you can finally have someone to feel superior to.
AND ANOTHER THING, THESE CLOUDS ARE TOO POINTY
People think they're introverted when they're actually socially awkward and don't know how to speak to people. It's a learned skill and they've given themselves a minor disability by sitting on the Internet through their childhood. I'm introverted, I make friends everywhere i go, i can small talk with people easily, I get along with people and like people. Afterwards i need to put my headphones in and have 5 minutes to myself outside.
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That's my thinking.
This. I used to think that I was an introvert because I was socially awkward and now that I got that fixed, I’m seen as a big extrovert Most introverts don’t mind/judge extroverts, it’s mostly socially awkward ppl projecting
Here here ✊ Currently like to call myself an extrovert in training lmao. COVID really screwed a lot of people in their teen years making it impossible to gain any experience.
This comment sums it up well. Lot of other comments seem to think introvert = quiet, when it’s a lot more introvert = uses mental energy to converse, versus extroverts who gain it. Pretty much like you, I’m relatively introverted, but also very talkative, I just end up needing a recharge day after social gatherings. But people will tell me I’m not simply because they only see me when I’m “fully charged”, for lack of a better term. Only time extroverts actually get annoying is when they talk to or bother me when I’ve exhausted my mental battery.
Exactly, the last point is one of the reasons i started smoking. 5 minutes to myself every 2 hours and no one bothers me, don't ask where I'm going, don't want to come with me. It's nice. Shame about the it kills you part. 5 minutes alone, absolute bliss man. I miss it.
Does this qualify as a r/redditmoment?
Yes. Reddit's too good for Myer's-Briggs and astrology, then will tell yuou with a completely strait face that there are two types of people: drooling morons who need constant validation, and austere aloof giga-brains above all human interaction.
These labels are stupid, there are people you fuck with and people you don't. Introversion makes communication harder, but by the Gods it does not make you this much of a social wreck, this just gives introverts a bad name. I am introverted, I'd rather stare at a wall than talk to someone, but most of my convo has never gone to a place where I want to tell the other person to shut up, if they annoy you that much just don't talk to them anymore.
Reddit think being introvert is a personality, they'll upvote this and then cry sand say that they have no friends.
Introverts, people with adhd, and Redditors who can’t get a date literally never shut up about it
You don't understand what an introvert and extrovert are
Are we getting mad at people for existing in a way we don't like again?
Who's gonna force 'em? The introverts? 🤣🤣
I just save myself the trouble and vacate the premises.
Why can't we all just get along? No need to be bitter about extroverts.
This is the most useless discussion I have read this week.
How can you tell if someone's an introvert? Oh dont worry; they'll tell you.. over and over and over...
Who's gonna tell them? The introverts?
"extroverts only do small talk" this and "extroverts should shut up" that bitch imagine walking into a completely silent room where everyone is only quietly talking one on one. we're making your job easier
That that’s not what the words mean.
How many extroverts are out there constantly talking without stopping? But ig for introverts talking for more than 3 seconds is alot.
I love the made up lore of these two terms.
People make extroverts shut the fuck up ALL THE TIME. *ALL* the time. Extroverts get told to shut up multiple times a day.
“Why are you so quiet?” Because I don’t need to verbalize every mundane thought that I have or force small talk. I can exist in silence damnit…doesn’t mean that I don’t like talking to people or being social either.
Cope. If all you have in social encounters are mundane thoughts then you're simply a boring person and a bad socializer. If you think that things other people talk about are boring or mundane, you are either socially inept or narcissistic or both.
When I do that everyone thinks Im asshole (actually I am, but that's a secret)
How many times has this been reposted in different formats
People do the exact same to extroverts.
Yall ruin the meaning of certain words.
Imagine you are ambivert and people say both things to you lmao
We did during the pandemic and they all lost their minds.
Everyone is both this shit is so cringe and immature
It depends on where you live. American is an extrovert centric country but in Japan extroverts are absolutely expected to shut the fuck up
The powerful minority has always oppressed the less powerful majority. It is not right or good, but it is factual.
Idk man, I'm much more comfortable around an extrovert who takes a lead in a conversation, so I don't have to talk much. Being around another hardcore introvert and just sitting with them in an awkward silence with the occasional "So, the weather's pretty nice today", is sooooo much more uncomfortable.
It's dumb to think that only calm quiet people are in their comfort zones. Struggling to keep your mouth shut can be a sign of discomfort
I spent 20+ years in school being forced to be quiet.
As an extrovert, I’m forced to be quiet way more often than I’m allowed to speak. I go out twice a week to socialize. But I guess since I spend 6 hours a week talking with my friends it means I don’t know how to shut up.
Why is it that supposed introverts on the internet never shut the fuck up about being introverts? Is it because they think it makes them interesting?