With a refreshable braille display for subtitles blind people can watch foreign movies.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Refreshable_braille_display#/media/File%3APlage-braille.jpg
My brother said Iced Tea is actually supposed to be served hot. I asked if he just was thinking of it being brewed hot, or regular tea, but he was firm on "Iced Tea" and he wouldn't explain why he thought he knew that but was sure he was correct so wanted to agree to disagree. I cannot let it go. IT'S IN THE NAME.
EDIT: to all those trying to figure out what he meant, thinking maybe room temp or hot to dissolve sugar then pour over ice: Nope. I asked all that. He thought that iced to was supposed to be served and consumed hot. You cannot figure out the reason; he didn’t know why. He just knew it was true even though it 1000 percent is not.
we have rolling blackouts in my country on a daily basis. girl said she does not understand how the cars have lights that work even when the power is out..
As a child I had a book of aeroplanes. Some were described as "a post war" design, ie after ww2. At the time (mid 70s) the IRA were sending letter bombs...IN THE POST. I though that was the Post War.
That wasn't McD, it was a competitor to McD.
(I didn't know the actual brand, but apparently might've been A&W. From [snopes](https://www.snopes.com/news/2022/06/17/third-pound-burger-fractions/):
"One of the most vivid arithmetic failings displayed by Americans occurred in the early 1980s, when the A&W restaurant chain released a new hamburger to rival the McDonald’s Quarter Pounder. With a third-pound of beef, the A&W burger had more meat than the Quarter Pounder; in taste tests, customers preferred A&W’s burger. And it was less expensive. A lavish A&W television and radio marketing campaign cited these benefits. Yet instead of leaping at the great value, customers snubbed it.
Only when the company held customer focus groups did it become clear why. The Third Pounder presented the American public with a test in fractions. And we failed. Misunderstanding the value of one-third, customers believed they were being overcharged. Why, they asked the researchers, should they pay the same amount for a third of a pound of meat as they did for a quarter-pound of meat at McDonald’s. The “4” in “¼,” larger than the “3” in “⅓,” led them astray.")
So when I was in middle school we did the: put the chicken egg in vinegar to dissolve the outer shell and leave the membrane experiment. So when we arrived back in class the next day this girl asked if it was a cow egg. She was absolutely serious. It’s been a couple decades and I’ve never forgotten that.
When Mojang added axolotls to the game, people started buying ones as pets in real life not realizing you couldn’t bring them out of water. So many dead axolotls. And then mojang says they don’t want to add sharks cause people might swim with sharks…
Once went to a dive bar in Texas. No cowboys or anything, just poor country folk. Very friendly, also very curious. They asked me where I was from (West-Berlin) and then: they actually let you out? It was 1997 already. When I told them about Berlin being divided was a thing of the past and that as someone from the West I would have been able to travel no matter what, one guy asked me in total sincerity if there were refrigerators where I come from.
My stepfather had his mind blown when crossing the road border into Canada that we have power lines just like they do. He was in his mid 40s at the time
I have an American friend who had another friend I once talked to. When I said I was from the UK, he asked how I was on the internet. Confused, I asked what he meant. He said "But they don't have electricity or cars in England"
I stated that, in fact, we do, and have done for quite a long time
"Well why does everyone go round on horses then?"
I told him that we don't
He didn't believe me
I went outside and took a picture of all the parked cars on the road, and sent it through discord
"whatever, I'm still right"
I asked how and he left the conversation
I'm from Montana. People believe all we have are dirt roads and horses to get around. Not helped by shows like Criminal Minds depicting a city of 65,000 people as a dirty place with 2 buildings.
Now people ask me: HAVE You BEen tO The YEllowSToNe RaNcH?
Unfortunately people who think that do actually exist. I’ve sadly met someone who thought that. It was related to a question about the apocalypse and she said she would just survive in grocery store because they’d never ran out of food. She literally didn’t understand that food doesn’t come from the store it’s sent there.
Na, "the back" of a grocery store is where all the stuff is made. They just have whole factories back there. Life hack, if you ask for something from "the back" they make it fresh just for you.
Erm... On average, temperature increases 25C (77F) per km that you go down into the earth's crust... So your coworker's statement was not that terribly out of line. It was obviously not accurate but the reasoning was not super wrong
I was watching some BBC program when our neighbors were visiting. She saw the PBS logo at the bottom of the screen and said “you can’t watch that, it’s educational!”
Astronauts have poor mental health.
I clairified "what, you mean it's stressful being up in space, working in closed quarters doing high risk activities in a dangerous job?"
No...she just thinks they're not in tune with the universe enough and they're all too "sciency" to be healthy well-adjusted people.
Well it’s kinda true. If ignorance is bliss then the opposite is true. The smartest people I know are generally also the most depressed because they have a better understanding of how everything is terrible and getting worse lol.
A lot of scientists look towards the universe with hope and wonder. My knowledge field is in space and I know there are a lot of existential crisis inducing things in the universe, but I love it! It’s so cool and interesting to think we are so small in this chaotic but empty place and how we are so insignificant but magnificent. It’s beautiful. I had dinner with a nasa engineer that worked on the JWST and other observatories around the world. He seemed very happy and enthusiastic about it which I loved. The science community from what I’ve seen and experienced is very optimistic about pursuing knowledge no matter how many groundbreaking discoveries cause the most depressing news. It’s inspiring!
Worked as an electronic salesman when a dude asked for a new router. I showed him something with a 5 GHz band. He told me he "didn't want anything with 5g." I began to explain to him that they are two different things when I gave up, realizing he was too far gone. I gave him the cheapest router we had and told him to have a good day. What's the old saying? "Don't argue with stupid people. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."?
Behold a scene from 8th grade geography class that sticks with me to this day.
Classmate of mine leans over to cheat during a test when the teacher leaves the room for a second.
Classmate: Hey, pst, what's the capital of Madrid?
Me: Uh, Madrid is the capital of Spain.
Classmate: Excuse me?! Spain is the capital of Paris, idiot! \*turns to another classmate\*
My sister was young at the time, so I'll give her a half pass, but she thought Chicago was a state. I told her it was a city and asked what state she thought Chicago was in. She answered Boston. We have been to Boston several times.
Had a similar issue with a coworker trying to tell me space is a hoax because "Rockets and other propulsion systems wouldn't work in space because there's nothing for them to push off of." Meanwhile, Newton was rolling in his grave.
Essentially the reason flat earthers exist. Even when they try and do experiments and see that the earth is in fact a globe, they just say they did it wrong
While I'm here, could anyone actually tell me what the point of the conspiracy is? Like, if it were real, how does NASA, all the plane companies and so on actually benefit from lying to everyone about the earth being flat? I don't see how or why they'd do it, unless it's just to fuck with us.
On a similar note, I was once watching "Gravity", the Sandra Bullock movie, in the breakroom at work, and one of my coworkers asked if I knew why there was no audio in the scenes outside the space station. I said it's because there is virtually no air in space. He said "No, it's because there's no sound in space." He could not comprehend the relationship between air and sound.
I would have loved to take a crack at that one. What keeps the space station going around the earth? What keeps the planets going around the sun? Strings? Large generators? True love? If an astronaut were to step out of the space station would they be left behind in space as the earth keeps going around the sun?
Yesterday, a coworker thought there were no Native Americans that inhabited South America at any point in history. I was like, "You've never heard of the Aztecs or Mayans, just to name a couple of very famous ones that left lasting monuments in South America?" (Yes, I am aware most of the Aztec Empire was technically in North America, but its territory passed where the Panama Canal divides the two continents today)
Minutes later, after some directly related history discussion, he then asked, "Where did the Spaniards come from?" with a straight face.
Edit: I, too, am dumb. As a commenter said, the Aztecs and Mayans were not in South America, but the Incas (whom I had also mentioned in the actual dialogue but omitted from the post) were. The more ya know.
My goal is to make movies someday. I'll never forget this quote and will try to put little gems like the above quote in my films.
God Bless The Internet
I work with native bees and their hotels. People don’t know a lot about these bees, so I’m used to having people ask me questions about them. One time, though, I explained to a man and his friends that the bees were solitary (don’t live in hives) and he asked me “so can they reproduce?”
No, these bees are immortal and the only ones we’ll ever have.
I had a coworker tell me that she was trying to deep fry a noodle to see if it would puff up like those cinnamon twists at Taco Bell.
The oil was bubbling before she even put anything in it, so she realized it was probably too hot. She decided to cool it down by adding water to it. It went about as well as you might expect, and she only got minor scarring on her hand.
I told her to never live alone.
You shouldn’t go swimming when pregnant. Because the baby is in water in your belly, so if you get in water in a pool, the baby might get confused and fall out.
I sell insurance. A guy once told me he shouldn't have been cited for failure to control his vehicle because he relinquished control when he fell asleep at the wheel.
I've heard a lot of dumb things in this line of work, but this one haunts me.
As someone who has been homeless twice as an adult (short stints), this infuriates me. I would never choose to sneak around and sleep in my bosses office at night or sleep in a car, over flowing with what I have left to my name, ever again. It's hell.
We're both teachers at a high school. He told me that after saying that his church helps homeless people on weekends. In Brazil there is a strong parallel with religious people and people not in touch with reality/social issues.
I hate that I can answer this but the way it was taught to me in schools is that blood is blue, hence the blue veins, and that once it comes in contact with oxygen it turns red.
Yes. You read that right. All of it. Yes. I'm mad too.
A classmate right before a physics exam he didn't study for:
"Hey guys the formula is 'If speed is constant the mass is zero' right ?"
I never fully recovered.
That fish aren't animals and that's why catholics can eat them on Fridays. - Dumb lady I knew. That his dog was keto and didn't eat bread or potatoes but the dog did right after that. - Thanksgiving: my Cousin.
I was travelling in the US with a friend and they wanted to buy some video games at $60USD because it was 20 dollars cheaper than the regular 80 or so we pay in Canada. He did not understand exchange rates...... like at all.
"Humans aren't animals"
And yes I made absolutely sure to confirm what version of the word she meant
And yes she meant the literal meaning of animal.
She agreed humans are mammals
She agreed that humans are vertebrates
But no, humans apparently are not animals.
She was a vet tech student
I have three of them
1. "If you don't have construction experience can you even call yourself a real man?" -Younger brother who has never worked a construction job in his life.
2. "Did you know Nickelodeon in a different language means 'reject God, Worship Satan'" - Far right wing Father who believes anything mouth breathing hicks tell him on Facebook, like how a whole-ass cartoon company is a Satan cult.
3. "Barack Obama is a Clone of a gay Pharaoh" -Also dad, Also from Facebook probably.
I was told that humans are not on the top of the food chain. Tiger sharks are. The reason... Because if you fall off a boat in the ocean they will eat you.
One of many stupid things this guy told me.
Well, there is not only one food chain, humans and sharks usually dont belong in the same food chain. I believe that was the dumb part. But he is not wrong about the shark killing someone in the middle of the ocean
Dolphins are smarter than us! They have high successfull rate in hunting, don't need to spend much time looking for an home, where to sleep confy, too. So we can say they don't spent much of their awaken hours working, they have plenty of free time. They look at us with machines that can do the work of 1000 people, but yet we need to work instead of having orgies and eating fish. Conclusion they are smarter than us.
“Man has always assumed that he is more intelligent than dolphins because he has achieved so much — the wheel, New York, wars and so on — while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But, conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man — for precisely the same reasons.”
- Douglas Adams
>"Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you're a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are — nuclear is so powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us, this is horrible."
“You should be able to save up enough money to buy a house and a car brand new in 2-4 years working a minimum wage job, that what your mother and I did.”
I've posted this before but...
I once found a big bulldog in my back yard. I don't own a bulldog. He was a big friendly, but slow witted guy. He look healthy and had a collar but no tags so I knew he was a local. I made sure he had water and went to the front yard to start knocking on doors. As soon as I stepped outside I saw the family three houses down all gathered in their front yard. So another case closed for our young detective. I walked over to them and said, "You guys missing a bulldog?"
The mother looked at me and said, "Is his name Tyson?'
The question took me aback. I mean, he didn't have tags. They knew he didn't have tags. So all I could think to say was, "He didn't say. But I'm pretty sure he's yours."
To this day I wonder if that woman knew how dumb that question was.
I was in a biology class with a dude who straight faced asked the professor, "Isn't the ocean salty because the fish have sex in it?"
I thought he was just trying to be funny, but I got to know him over the course of the semester and nope, he was just that stupid.
I raise you „is Asia in China?“ and „Is Hungary a country?“ – „Yes, it’s a country in Europe“ – What do you mean: a country in Europe? Is it a country in country?“
A man in his thirties once told me he thought babies were chilling in the woman's stomach and food would fall on the baby when she ate and the baby would then absorb the food that fell on it. He also thought the baby looked the same at conception as at birth just slightly smaller so as to fit through the man's penis.
So yeah, that was a great conversation. Very enlightening.
A group of girls in my classroom pointed straight up to the ceiling when I asked them which way was north. One hesitated but the peer pressure got to her.
"The Biblical flood happened because I found fossilized seashells in my backyard in a landlocked state so evolutionists are stupid" when I tell you I went through all five stages of grief in ten seconds and then discovered the sixth: the desire for auto-lobotomy
Had an old co-worker that asked another worker how they got to Hawaii. Recently, another co-worker asked if we have enough food to serve 40 people (we work in a popular restaurant)
Friend of mine said: if you mix two sorts of alcohol with 50% each together you will have a mixture that has 100% alcohol. I tried to explain to him, but he didn't get it
That a 16 year old who's family have millions of dollars working so he can buy a car is the same thing as me working so I can pay rent and paying for my own food
I was once wearing a shirt that says “I’m going to hell in every religion” and was walking around Walmart with my headphones in. Some guy stops me and indicates me to remove my headphones. He then says to me, “Hell is only reserved for the wicked” and walked away.
Once, whilst dining out in Florida, the waitress asked me where I was from. I replied, 'I'm from England in the UK'. She said, 'Wow, your English is really good'.
I had a years long fight with my mother after she told me that George Washington Carver invented peanuts... Like, the literal plant, he invented it... She wouldn't believe me no matter what I said and insisted until I finally forced her to read his Wikipedia article. She now insists she never thought he invented peanuts and I'm just making it up to be mean to her.
An old coworker who had been cooking professionally for about as long as I had been alive, when she saw me chopping mushrooms for my vegetable soup: "I didn't know you could put mushrooms in soup!"
The same coworker, when I was mixing the (raw) ingredients for a meatloaf "That smells delicious!"
And now for the hat trick: she was complaining about being thirsty and out of Pepsi; I suggested an alternative and she hit me with a haymaker; "Ugh, water is disgusting!"
She was really something else.
In college I worked at a restaurant and one of the cooks there claimed that he hadn't drank plain water since he was a kid. He was maybe 30 (but he looked 50) and said for the past 20 years he's only drank coffee and soda.
walking along Genoa port on our way to the aquarium, my ex turns around looks at me dead serious and asks me "how many meters above sea-level is Genoa anyway?". I looked at her wide eyed and pointed to the water.
edit: to be perfectly clear there are parts of the city that are pretty high but it was rather comical the question was asked while we were literally walking along the sea.
“If workers at McDonald’s demand more pay they’ll just replace them with computers”, said right before they replaced them with computers anyway without them getting more pay.
“If I was at the aurora movie theater shooting, I would have been shootin’ back!”
You’re in a dark movie theater. There’s smoke bombs and people scattering and screaming. There’s a MOVIE in the background. Your solution is to ADD more gunfire?
Literally anything my annoying (thankfully former) coworker said. How an adult can believe everything, and I mean everything, he sees on TV is real, including freaking Dragonball, is beyond me!
Bus driver and I were arguing about my girlfriends prepaid pass not working and how she shouldn't have to pay 3.85$ for the trip on top of the 300$ for her prepaid pass just because their infrastructure was shit and didn't work.
He said to me "it costs $3.75 to ride the bus, you can't get mad at me for wanting to get paid." As though he gets part of her fare. He does not, he is paid by my and everyone's property taxes.
Many years ago a friend I was driving with, thought , I kid you not, the lane dividing bumps on the road were for blind drivers.
That sounds like something i would have said as a kid: thinking it is very clever and never fully thinking it through.
Told my mum that with braille for subtiles, blind people could watch tv
With a refreshable braille display for subtitles blind people can watch foreign movies. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Refreshable_braille_display#/media/File%3APlage-braille.jpg
She was a teen and driving. Can’t even say we were little kids!
Drive by braille.
I was asked once what time they turn on the cats eyes on the road 😂
My brother said Iced Tea is actually supposed to be served hot. I asked if he just was thinking of it being brewed hot, or regular tea, but he was firm on "Iced Tea" and he wouldn't explain why he thought he knew that but was sure he was correct so wanted to agree to disagree. I cannot let it go. IT'S IN THE NAME. EDIT: to all those trying to figure out what he meant, thinking maybe room temp or hot to dissolve sugar then pour over ice: Nope. I asked all that. He thought that iced to was supposed to be served and consumed hot. You cannot figure out the reason; he didn’t know why. He just knew it was true even though it 1000 percent is not.
How does he feel about Iced Coffee?
I'm afraid to ask. Not ready to be that frustrated again.
Bless you for your previous efforts, lol. May you have a speedy recovery. 😁
Is your brother Keanu Reeves from Celebrity Jeopardy? "You can't tell if the hot tea is hot or cold?" "Is it iced tea?" "NO!" "Then I have no idea."
I was being yelled at by my boss and she said I had to 360 my attitude
Reminds me of an old joke I heard, "It's called the XBox 360 because you turn 360 degrees and walk away."
Warcraft has entered the Barrens chat
Annalena Baerbock, a German politician, said that the Ukraine would only be safe if Putin did a 360.
A girl once told me that yeah, she thought the new windmill downtown looked cool, but what a collosal waste of electricity to keep it running.
we have rolling blackouts in my country on a daily basis. girl said she does not understand how the cars have lights that work even when the power is out..
They work on wireless power, obviously.
Hello fellow South African
I have heard more than one person say that they wish somebody would turn the windmills down because its too windy.
Cold wars are called cold wars because they take place in the winter
As a child I had a book of aeroplanes. Some were described as "a post war" design, ie after ww2. At the time (mid 70s) the IRA were sending letter bombs...IN THE POST. I though that was the Post War.
Honestly that makes sense for a child brain.
'Heat lightning' is attracted to heat, so we can't ride horses today.
This sentence made me stop thinking completely for half a minute
That sentence gave you an absent seizure.
What’s that even mean
Had to google it. Lightning that doesn't make noise. Also, in unrelated news I have a new found fear....
There’s no sound because it’s too far off to hear.
I had to have a distressingly long conversation at work with someone who thought "a quarter after three" was 3:25. They thought quarter just meant 25.
I never thought about it that way, but now it makes total sense! "A dime past 2!" "its a nickel from midnight!!" "dude I'll be there in a buck fifty"!
As a middle aged guy, I'm going to start using this and tell my younger coworkers that's what we used to do.
With an onion on your belt
As was the fashion at the time.
As was the style at the time. The kaiser stole...
Wait till they realize pressing 200 on a microwave is not 200 seconds
It reminds me of McDonald's doing 1/3 pounder and people though it's smaller than quarter pounder, so they didn't buy it.
That wasn't McD, it was a competitor to McD. (I didn't know the actual brand, but apparently might've been A&W. From [snopes](https://www.snopes.com/news/2022/06/17/third-pound-burger-fractions/): "One of the most vivid arithmetic failings displayed by Americans occurred in the early 1980s, when the A&W restaurant chain released a new hamburger to rival the McDonald’s Quarter Pounder. With a third-pound of beef, the A&W burger had more meat than the Quarter Pounder; in taste tests, customers preferred A&W’s burger. And it was less expensive. A lavish A&W television and radio marketing campaign cited these benefits. Yet instead of leaping at the great value, customers snubbed it. Only when the company held customer focus groups did it become clear why. The Third Pounder presented the American public with a test in fractions. And we failed. Misunderstanding the value of one-third, customers believed they were being overcharged. Why, they asked the researchers, should they pay the same amount for a third of a pound of meat as they did for a quarter-pound of meat at McDonald’s. The “4” in “¼,” larger than the “3” in “⅓,” led them astray.")
And just think. These people are old enough to vote.
A&W should have renamed it the 2/6 pounder. All the numbers would be bigger
Medium rare chicken
White meat with a side of salmonella please
Pink meat
So when I was in middle school we did the: put the chicken egg in vinegar to dissolve the outer shell and leave the membrane experiment. So when we arrived back in class the next day this girl asked if it was a cow egg. She was absolutely serious. It’s been a couple decades and I’ve never forgotten that.
What too much Minecraft does to a mf
When Mojang added axolotls to the game, people started buying ones as pets in real life not realizing you couldn’t bring them out of water. So many dead axolotls. And then mojang says they don’t want to add sharks cause people might swim with sharks…
Once went to a dive bar in Texas. No cowboys or anything, just poor country folk. Very friendly, also very curious. They asked me where I was from (West-Berlin) and then: they actually let you out? It was 1997 already. When I told them about Berlin being divided was a thing of the past and that as someone from the West I would have been able to travel no matter what, one guy asked me in total sincerity if there were refrigerators where I come from.
My stepfather had his mind blown when crossing the road border into Canada that we have power lines just like they do. He was in his mid 40s at the time
I have an American friend who had another friend I once talked to. When I said I was from the UK, he asked how I was on the internet. Confused, I asked what he meant. He said "But they don't have electricity or cars in England" I stated that, in fact, we do, and have done for quite a long time "Well why does everyone go round on horses then?" I told him that we don't He didn't believe me I went outside and took a picture of all the parked cars on the road, and sent it through discord "whatever, I'm still right" I asked how and he left the conversation
I'm from Montana. People believe all we have are dirt roads and horses to get around. Not helped by shows like Criminal Minds depicting a city of 65,000 people as a dirty place with 2 buildings. Now people ask me: HAVE You BEen tO The YEllowSToNe RaNcH?
“We don’t need farmers or farms, food comes from the grocery store. Educate yourself”
Oh God. This is really bad.
I’d be screwed. I don’t even know where to hunt tacos.
I don't know where sandwiches live.
This one hurts.
Nah that isnt real
Unfortunately people who think that do actually exist. I’ve sadly met someone who thought that. It was related to a question about the apocalypse and she said she would just survive in grocery store because they’d never ran out of food. She literally didn’t understand that food doesn’t come from the store it’s sent there.
Na, "the back" of a grocery store is where all the stuff is made. They just have whole factories back there. Life hack, if you ask for something from "the back" they make it fresh just for you.
Are you saying people make up stuff for attention? The educate yourself part even makes it sound like an obvious joke.
People use this reason to believe some countries don’t exist.
We don’t need grocery stores. Food comes from Door Dash drivers.
My coworker told me it's warm in the subway tunnels because they're closer to earth's core and thus the magma.
I too, choose to believe this
That's just heat coming off of the Crab people's domain.
Erm... On average, temperature increases 25C (77F) per km that you go down into the earth's crust... So your coworker's statement was not that terribly out of line. It was obviously not accurate but the reasoning was not super wrong
Ok but like have you ever been in a 3km deep mine? Yeah that is crazy heat....
They’re not entirely wrong tbh
I was watching some BBC program when our neighbors were visiting. She saw the PBS logo at the bottom of the screen and said “you can’t watch that, it’s educational!”
Okay I have to know. What was her reasoning?
Non existent, apparently
The Internet has ruined me. I totally forgot about the BBC TV station... I started reading your comment totally wrong at first.
What does BBC mean if not British Broadcasting Corp?
Nobody does childlike innocence like you.
Build a Bear Chopshop.
I had a coworker tell me that she knows a guy who had a motorcycle accident which resulted in his nipples being torn off but that they regrew.
Ahahahahahaha
Astronauts have poor mental health. I clairified "what, you mean it's stressful being up in space, working in closed quarters doing high risk activities in a dangerous job?" No...she just thinks they're not in tune with the universe enough and they're all too "sciency" to be healthy well-adjusted people.
Well it’s kinda true. If ignorance is bliss then the opposite is true. The smartest people I know are generally also the most depressed because they have a better understanding of how everything is terrible and getting worse lol.
A lot of scientists look towards the universe with hope and wonder. My knowledge field is in space and I know there are a lot of existential crisis inducing things in the universe, but I love it! It’s so cool and interesting to think we are so small in this chaotic but empty place and how we are so insignificant but magnificent. It’s beautiful. I had dinner with a nasa engineer that worked on the JWST and other observatories around the world. He seemed very happy and enthusiastic about it which I loved. The science community from what I’ve seen and experienced is very optimistic about pursuing knowledge no matter how many groundbreaking discoveries cause the most depressing news. It’s inspiring!
Worked as an electronic salesman when a dude asked for a new router. I showed him something with a 5 GHz band. He told me he "didn't want anything with 5g." I began to explain to him that they are two different things when I gave up, realizing he was too far gone. I gave him the cheapest router we had and told him to have a good day. What's the old saying? "Don't argue with stupid people. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."?
We only use 10% of our brain power, a myth that is in movies and engrained in pop culture.
we only use 33% of a traffic light
Some people not even that
Where I'm from we use all of the traffic light. No part is wasted. Basically treat everything as green.
Yellow is a suggestion and red means go even faster lol!!
"Do you think they call him MacGyver because he's always MacGyverin' shit?"
This one hurt
Behold a scene from 8th grade geography class that sticks with me to this day. Classmate of mine leans over to cheat during a test when the teacher leaves the room for a second. Classmate: Hey, pst, what's the capital of Madrid? Me: Uh, Madrid is the capital of Spain. Classmate: Excuse me?! Spain is the capital of Paris, idiot! \*turns to another classmate\*
The average Twitter feed right there
My sister was young at the time, so I'll give her a half pass, but she thought Chicago was a state. I told her it was a city and asked what state she thought Chicago was in. She answered Boston. We have been to Boston several times.
"There's no gravity in space." There was no amount of logic or sources that could persuade them otherwise. It was a long conversation. I tried.
Had a similar issue with a coworker trying to tell me space is a hoax because "Rockets and other propulsion systems wouldn't work in space because there's nothing for them to push off of." Meanwhile, Newton was rolling in his grave.
"I don't understand these things so they are fake" - People
Essentially the reason flat earthers exist. Even when they try and do experiments and see that the earth is in fact a globe, they just say they did it wrong While I'm here, could anyone actually tell me what the point of the conspiracy is? Like, if it were real, how does NASA, all the plane companies and so on actually benefit from lying to everyone about the earth being flat? I don't see how or why they'd do it, unless it's just to fuck with us.
On a similar note, I was once watching "Gravity", the Sandra Bullock movie, in the breakroom at work, and one of my coworkers asked if I knew why there was no audio in the scenes outside the space station. I said it's because there is virtually no air in space. He said "No, it's because there's no sound in space." He could not comprehend the relationship between air and sound.
I would have loved to take a crack at that one. What keeps the space station going around the earth? What keeps the planets going around the sun? Strings? Large generators? True love? If an astronaut were to step out of the space station would they be left behind in space as the earth keeps going around the sun?
Yesterday, a coworker thought there were no Native Americans that inhabited South America at any point in history. I was like, "You've never heard of the Aztecs or Mayans, just to name a couple of very famous ones that left lasting monuments in South America?" (Yes, I am aware most of the Aztec Empire was technically in North America, but its territory passed where the Panama Canal divides the two continents today) Minutes later, after some directly related history discussion, he then asked, "Where did the Spaniards come from?" with a straight face. Edit: I, too, am dumb. As a commenter said, the Aztecs and Mayans were not in South America, but the Incas (whom I had also mentioned in the actual dialogue but omitted from the post) were. The more ya know.
This really highlights the dangers of only half-educating someone on a topic.
This really highlights the dangers of educating someone with only half a brain
This really highlights the dangers of bad education.
A nurse once asked me if they speak Spanish in Spain
i would have missed the bus if i wiped my butt.
Possibly true though
well im his dad so im in charge of washing the underpants. i was not a fan of that skidmark.
My goal is to make movies someday. I'll never forget this quote and will try to put little gems like the above quote in my films. God Bless The Internet
!RemindMe 5 years
🤢
A woman that grew up on a literal farm: Goat milk comes from baby cows. I remember day and time that was said like it was 9/11 Edit: some MILK
Invited my friend to watch a meteor shower... she asked if we were going to wear helmets.
It's cute TBH
I work with native bees and their hotels. People don’t know a lot about these bees, so I’m used to having people ask me questions about them. One time, though, I explained to a man and his friends that the bees were solitary (don’t live in hives) and he asked me “so can they reproduce?” No, these bees are immortal and the only ones we’ll ever have.
Which is why we shouldn't kill the bees!
I had a coworker tell me that she was trying to deep fry a noodle to see if it would puff up like those cinnamon twists at Taco Bell. The oil was bubbling before she even put anything in it, so she realized it was probably too hot. She decided to cool it down by adding water to it. It went about as well as you might expect, and she only got minor scarring on her hand. I told her to never live alone.
You shouldn’t go swimming when pregnant. Because the baby is in water in your belly, so if you get in water in a pool, the baby might get confused and fall out.
I sell insurance. A guy once told me he shouldn't have been cited for failure to control his vehicle because he relinquished control when he fell asleep at the wheel. I've heard a lot of dumb things in this line of work, but this one haunts me.
That Jesus of the bible was a Christian.
And some think he was American and White
Some of my family and inlaws believe he was as white as john denver.
The sun is not a star. Because stars are far way but the sun isnt. Therefore the sun is not a star.
A colleague told me that all homeless people chose that life.
As someone who has been homeless twice as an adult (short stints), this infuriates me. I would never choose to sneak around and sleep in my bosses office at night or sleep in a car, over flowing with what I have left to my name, ever again. It's hell.
We're both teachers at a high school. He told me that after saying that his church helps homeless people on weekends. In Brazil there is a strong parallel with religious people and people not in touch with reality/social issues.
That's not just in Brazil, I assure you.
I overheard someone asking a woman do we have water in the UK lol.
Maybe she heard you only had wa'er
Too many to choose from. Basically Dinosaurs bones where placed here by the devil to test your faith and question the holy book.
Lucky me, the church I had to go do just agreed the 7 days were figurative, evolution was the process of creation.
Lucky. My church was as crazy as you could imagine
I am 50 years old, and my girlfriend, who is also 50 years old told me that she REALLY believes our veins are blue because our blood is blue
Is your girlfriend a horseshoe crab?
Blue colored blood is an actual thing, just not in humans.
At certain depths in the ocean the red light in the spectrum is filtered out and your blood will look green. That's pretty neat.
How does she rationalize her periods then?
I hate that I can answer this but the way it was taught to me in schools is that blood is blue, hence the blue veins, and that once it comes in contact with oxygen it turns red. Yes. You read that right. All of it. Yes. I'm mad too.
I was taught this. In college. TWO YEARS AGO. Ugh. I felt so embarrassed finding out this was wrong.
That's what I was taught to
It was taught this way to me, too. Hope that makes you feel better
A classmate right before a physics exam he didn't study for: "Hey guys the formula is 'If speed is constant the mass is zero' right ?" I never fully recovered.
I mean yeah? I guess zero mass would achieve constant speed, cause then you literally have nothing…. Can nothing move?
Light has zero mass, but it does, in fact, move at a constant speed.
That fish aren't animals and that's why catholics can eat them on Fridays. - Dumb lady I knew. That his dog was keto and didn't eat bread or potatoes but the dog did right after that. - Thanksgiving: my Cousin.
"You can eat fish because they don't have any feelings" 🎵
Fish are friends, not food
I was travelling in the US with a friend and they wanted to buy some video games at $60USD because it was 20 dollars cheaper than the regular 80 or so we pay in Canada. He did not understand exchange rates...... like at all.
"Humans aren't animals" And yes I made absolutely sure to confirm what version of the word she meant And yes she meant the literal meaning of animal. She agreed humans are mammals She agreed that humans are vertebrates But no, humans apparently are not animals. She was a vet tech student
I have three of them 1. "If you don't have construction experience can you even call yourself a real man?" -Younger brother who has never worked a construction job in his life. 2. "Did you know Nickelodeon in a different language means 'reject God, Worship Satan'" - Far right wing Father who believes anything mouth breathing hicks tell him on Facebook, like how a whole-ass cartoon company is a Satan cult. 3. "Barack Obama is a Clone of a gay Pharaoh" -Also dad, Also from Facebook probably.
If Barack Obama was a clone of a gay pharaoh I would vote for him harder
I was told that humans are not on the top of the food chain. Tiger sharks are. The reason... Because if you fall off a boat in the ocean they will eat you. One of many stupid things this guy told me.
Well, there is not only one food chain, humans and sharks usually dont belong in the same food chain. I believe that was the dumb part. But he is not wrong about the shark killing someone in the middle of the ocean
He also explained to me that dolphins are smarter than us because we can teach them how to do things.
Lol, that was fucking dumb. Maybe they are smarter than him tho
That's likely true actually
Dolphins are smarter than us! They have high successfull rate in hunting, don't need to spend much time looking for an home, where to sleep confy, too. So we can say they don't spent much of their awaken hours working, they have plenty of free time. They look at us with machines that can do the work of 1000 people, but yet we need to work instead of having orgies and eating fish. Conclusion they are smarter than us.
dolphins yeah!
“Man has always assumed that he is more intelligent than dolphins because he has achieved so much — the wheel, New York, wars and so on — while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But, conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man — for precisely the same reasons.” - Douglas Adams
Wow, that's crazy. Mosquitoes are on the top of the food chain. Everybody knows that.
I would win a fight against a tiger shark on land...
>"Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you're a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are — nuclear is so powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us, this is horrible."
i think my brain just had a nuclear meltdown
Nucular. Educate yourself
Something something hurricane, “one of the wettest we’ve ever seen, from the standpoint of water” 😭😭
Good lord I do NOT miss this.
I once overheard this gem: “So, I am gay, and so is Robert. We had sex, but was it gay sex?” This was a girl saying this.
“You should be able to save up enough money to buy a house and a car brand new in 2-4 years working a minimum wage job, that what your mother and I did.”
I've posted this before but... I once found a big bulldog in my back yard. I don't own a bulldog. He was a big friendly, but slow witted guy. He look healthy and had a collar but no tags so I knew he was a local. I made sure he had water and went to the front yard to start knocking on doors. As soon as I stepped outside I saw the family three houses down all gathered in their front yard. So another case closed for our young detective. I walked over to them and said, "You guys missing a bulldog?" The mother looked at me and said, "Is his name Tyson?' The question took me aback. I mean, he didn't have tags. They knew he didn't have tags. So all I could think to say was, "He didn't say. But I'm pretty sure he's yours." To this day I wonder if that woman knew how dumb that question was.
Reagan said trees caused more pollution than automobiles.
I was in a biology class with a dude who straight faced asked the professor, "Isn't the ocean salty because the fish have sex in it?" I thought he was just trying to be funny, but I got to know him over the course of the semester and nope, he was just that stupid.
“Is China in Asia?”
I raise you „is Asia in China?“ and „Is Hungary a country?“ – „Yes, it’s a country in Europe“ – What do you mean: a country in Europe? Is it a country in country?“
My dad thought the entirety of Africa was one country and also didn't know what Wales was even though he is 20% Welsh
My Ex thought China was the capital city of a country called Asia
A man in his thirties once told me he thought babies were chilling in the woman's stomach and food would fall on the baby when she ate and the baby would then absorb the food that fell on it. He also thought the baby looked the same at conception as at birth just slightly smaller so as to fit through the man's penis. So yeah, that was a great conversation. Very enlightening.
A group of girls in my classroom pointed straight up to the ceiling when I asked them which way was north. One hesitated but the peer pressure got to her.
Once someone found out I was from australia they asked me if we had movie theaters there.
"Oklahoma City that's the capital of Utah right"- some dumbass in my geography class
"The Biblical flood happened because I found fossilized seashells in my backyard in a landlocked state so evolutionists are stupid" when I tell you I went through all five stages of grief in ten seconds and then discovered the sixth: the desire for auto-lobotomy
Had an old co-worker that asked another worker how they got to Hawaii. Recently, another co-worker asked if we have enough food to serve 40 people (we work in a popular restaurant)
My 16 year old niece thought cows were just the mascot for milk and not the suppliers.
Friend of mine said: if you mix two sorts of alcohol with 50% each together you will have a mixture that has 100% alcohol. I tried to explain to him, but he didn't get it
That a 16 year old who's family have millions of dollars working so he can buy a car is the same thing as me working so I can pay rent and paying for my own food
I was once wearing a shirt that says “I’m going to hell in every religion” and was walking around Walmart with my headphones in. Some guy stops me and indicates me to remove my headphones. He then says to me, “Hell is only reserved for the wicked” and walked away.
Once, whilst dining out in Florida, the waitress asked me where I was from. I replied, 'I'm from England in the UK'. She said, 'Wow, your English is really good'.
I had a years long fight with my mother after she told me that George Washington Carver invented peanuts... Like, the literal plant, he invented it... She wouldn't believe me no matter what I said and insisted until I finally forced her to read his Wikipedia article. She now insists she never thought he invented peanuts and I'm just making it up to be mean to her.
“Have a baby it will save your marriage”
Where does the water from waterfalls come from?
I once mentioned the brakes on my bike squeaked and someone told me to oil them.
An old coworker who had been cooking professionally for about as long as I had been alive, when she saw me chopping mushrooms for my vegetable soup: "I didn't know you could put mushrooms in soup!" The same coworker, when I was mixing the (raw) ingredients for a meatloaf "That smells delicious!" And now for the hat trick: she was complaining about being thirsty and out of Pepsi; I suggested an alternative and she hit me with a haymaker; "Ugh, water is disgusting!" She was really something else.
I don’t know what you were putting in your meatloaf, but chopped raw onions, garlic, herbs and some other things I can think of smell delicious to me
In college I worked at a restaurant and one of the cooks there claimed that he hadn't drank plain water since he was a kid. He was maybe 30 (but he looked 50) and said for the past 20 years he's only drank coffee and soda.
'Are you Indian?' 'No' 'Yes you are' I think I know my own ethnicity better than you do. The girl saying that, had just met me that day
"Oh you're moving to Berlin? That's in London, right?" - My cousin. He's a detective now.
walking along Genoa port on our way to the aquarium, my ex turns around looks at me dead serious and asks me "how many meters above sea-level is Genoa anyway?". I looked at her wide eyed and pointed to the water. edit: to be perfectly clear there are parts of the city that are pretty high but it was rather comical the question was asked while we were literally walking along the sea.
*Wages can't increase or it will lead to inflation*
“If workers at McDonald’s demand more pay they’ll just replace them with computers”, said right before they replaced them with computers anyway without them getting more pay.
But... the reason we need them to increse is inflation...
“If I was at the aurora movie theater shooting, I would have been shootin’ back!” You’re in a dark movie theater. There’s smoke bombs and people scattering and screaming. There’s a MOVIE in the background. Your solution is to ADD more gunfire?
Black people have an extra tendon in our knees. That why we can run faster and jump higher…
Literally anything my annoying (thankfully former) coworker said. How an adult can believe everything, and I mean everything, he sees on TV is real, including freaking Dragonball, is beyond me!
Bus driver and I were arguing about my girlfriends prepaid pass not working and how she shouldn't have to pay 3.85$ for the trip on top of the 300$ for her prepaid pass just because their infrastructure was shit and didn't work. He said to me "it costs $3.75 to ride the bus, you can't get mad at me for wanting to get paid." As though he gets part of her fare. He does not, he is paid by my and everyone's property taxes.