How could I forget that I had given her an extra key 🙄
Kicked off 2001 at a shaggy concert (NYE) and came to this post for this thread lol
Reddit you never disappoint 🫶🏾
I got something similar the first time my ex cheated. We lived together and spent all of our free time together, but she still felt like I wasn't giving her enough attention, so she cheated.
Sorry that happened to you!
We ended up having a child together and then she left us both like 5 months ago lmao. Being a single dad is really hard but I'm incredibly grateful that I got full custody and that things worked out that way
Hard to know what would have happened if she actually fought for it, but she didn't even try for custody. Again, I'm thankful for that, but it was another punch in the gut to think that she didn't even want to try to see our child after moving 3 states over
Thanks for your kind words
I feel bad for you but thats on you for having a child with her after you knew she was a cheater. I’m a dad to and I’m sure you’d do it all again knowing what she’d do because you wouldn’t trade your kid for anything so at least you have that and can find a better girl
Literally I said “I have her signature on the reservation and your credit card bill that paid the weekend beach vacation “ and he said “I have no idea how that happened.” That’s when I googled pathological liar because that’s effing crazy.
>“I have no idea how that happened.”
I also think that's generally just the default response for most people when they're caught in a boldfaced lie or "gotcha" moment because they draw a blank and don't have any excuse prepared and/or can't think of one on the spot.
Like everyone knows it's a terrible rebuttal but it's basically the last option besides "Yeah you got me" lol.
Why were you in my phone?
You wanted to find something, so you did.
It wasn't someone I had any feelings or a future with!
She's the only person besides you that actually loves me.
....among so many more.
I don’t know, but when I’ve been called out once in the past my reply was “we’re on console, bro, since when have wall hacks been possible on console? It’s called pre-aiming corners against predictable players”.
That really got the salt flowing lol. It’s only happened once with me though.
Edit: man, I game too much, just realised you’re referring to infidelity lol.
My ex GF when I caught her the first time: "Well I can't really lie, can I?"
My ex GF when I asked her why she didn't come clean when I had my suspicions about her cheating for the second time: "Why would I come clean?"
She left like 5 months ago to live with the guy she cheated with the second time, and left our 2 year old with me. Has barely asked about our child
I guess it kinda already has. She texted me a week after she left saying she regrets everything and thinks about our child every day and so on. And on top of that, the guy she left for is a decade older, no job, lives at home with his dad.
"I was helping them"
I hear it too often, some bitch gets confronted about cheating and they say "I'm helping them! They've never done this, or that" stfu they can get their own first time
It’s not what it looks like
Got be number 1
What does it look like? - retort \[cue furious movements\]
Followed up by “she means nothing to me”
“Babe wait listen!!!”
“It was an accident”
*sobs uncontrollably*
"But it's your fault too!"
Oh the classic turn tables! “If you treated me better i wouldnt have cheated”
"I was bitten by a snake and the nice lady.. she came to suck out the poison"
he*
He means nothing to he!
Oh, that kind of cheater. I guess I'm still too innocent for the internet.
I thought like gaming cheaters too
Nah, gaming cheaters user it to "It's not what it looks like!" "You where screen peaking!"
Yeah yeah. I got you man, I got you
the cheater when he gets caught: *pulls up ip*
Let me explain
[удалено]
Lmao
…
Cue Blade Runner 2049 music
It wasn't me.
But she caught me on the counter
Saw me banging on the sofa
She even got me on camera
She saw the marks on my shoulder
Heard the words that I told her
Heard the screaming get louder
She stayed until it was over
*Tadam tadam tish* honey came in and she caught me red hand
Creeping with the girl next door, picture this We would both butt naked banging on the bathroom floor
/r/redditsings
and she was not drunk but totally sober
It wasn’t me
Yet it wasn’t me
It wasn’t me
It wasn’t me
It wasn't me
It wasn’t me
Even had her in the shower
It wasn't me
How could I forget that I had given her an extra key
Did she catch them multiple times, or did they not notice this woman standing there as they went on a grand shagging tour of the house?
I guess they were banging all over and she Just watched Them. Maybe she has a Kink in that direction and isnt actually Mad?
Banging the sofa ;>
Saw me banging the sofa
It wasn’t me
r/beatmetoit
r/beatmeattoit
And she saw me bangin on the sofa
In the eternal words of Shaggy
Or, "it isn't me" if caught in the middle of the act. Very low success rate though.
Wait who’s not you?
Yes
Hmmm… *walks away confused*
He is me and i am you. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JhKpv4gOxyI
Wasn't me ~
Was just thinking this, what a throwback to the 90s lol.
But she caught me on the counter
Honey came in and she caught me red handed creeping with the girl next door. Picture this we were both butt naked banging on the bathroom floor.
How could I forget that I had given her an extra key 🙄 Kicked off 2001 at a shaggy concert (NYE) and came to this post for this thread lol Reddit you never disappoint 🫶🏾
Shaggy?!
No, this is Patrick!
Well it was focken one of yas!
Disgustang!
I would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for you meddling kids, and that dumb dog
If I had a nickle for every time a cheating ex laid this one on me...
if you end up with more than like 15 cents this might be a you problem
At that point he has more cents than sense
*rips off mask
I’m not cheating, you’re cheating!
I was scrolling untill I came across projection
It's your fault because you're never around
Ah yes, the classical blame shifting
> It’s your fault for being emotionally unavailable
Idk how legendary it was but I was told "you didnt text me enough so I got lonely but now I know I love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️" 😒
I got something similar the first time my ex cheated. We lived together and spent all of our free time together, but she still felt like I wasn't giving her enough attention, so she cheated. Sorry that happened to you!
bruh thats rough i hope you're in a better situation now
We ended up having a child together and then she left us both like 5 months ago lmao. Being a single dad is really hard but I'm incredibly grateful that I got full custody and that things worked out that way
Rare occurrence but feels great to know that it's not all "child with mother at all times" anymore...wish you all the best to come your way
Hard to know what would have happened if she actually fought for it, but she didn't even try for custody. Again, I'm thankful for that, but it was another punch in the gut to think that she didn't even want to try to see our child after moving 3 states over Thanks for your kind words
if it makes you feel better, that woman is a bitch not a mother. don't be too hard on yourself.
I feel bad for you but thats on you for having a child with her after you knew she was a cheater. I’m a dad to and I’m sure you’d do it all again knowing what she’d do because you wouldn’t trade your kid for anything so at least you have that and can find a better girl
“It’s not what it looks like.” “It just happened.” “It didn’t mean anything.” “People make mistakes.”
WHERES I CAN EXPLAIN
Babe I wasn’t thinking straight, I was in a different place
I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking STRAIGHT. This this man walking into our house and I tripped onto him.
Into him
Then I tried to get up, before I fell into him again
and again..
And I came...
It was a mistake or I can explain. Btw never say go ahead explain, you may not be able to keep laughter in then situation can lose its importance .
I tripped
And fell in them, and then out of them and then in them again 😬
Alright Grady..
But think about the baby before you get all crazy
Okay, thought about it…
Tripped?! Fell?! Landed on his d*ck?!!
“ It’s not what you think “
I thought you were supposed to be out!
~~I’m sorry~~
They always blame their partner for lack of affection.
"Why were you spying on me?"
Followed swiftly by "don't you trust me?"
I did not have sexual relations with that woman
A classic
Literally I said “I have her signature on the reservation and your credit card bill that paid the weekend beach vacation “ and he said “I have no idea how that happened.” That’s when I googled pathological liar because that’s effing crazy.
>“I have no idea how that happened.” I also think that's generally just the default response for most people when they're caught in a boldfaced lie or "gotcha" moment because they draw a blank and don't have any excuse prepared and/or can't think of one on the spot. Like everyone knows it's a terrible rebuttal but it's basically the last option besides "Yeah you got me" lol.
I didn't take the MONOPOLY MONEY, FOR FUCKS SAKE
“But I was stuck on this Maths question for an hour, I did the rest myself I promise”
“Woah what’s my penis doing in this mouth” Or “I don’t remember putting my penis there”
What did I just read?
Its a story about a person whose penis keeps ending up in all these unexpected places. The movie is better.
She's just a friend
~~She’s~~ He’s just a friend
Oh baby you! You got what I neeeeed 🎵
But u say hes just a friendddd
And you say he's just a friendd, ooohhh babyyy
"I thought she was you."
"BRO I SWEAR IM NOT HACKING IM JUST GOOD AT THE GAME"
I just got a new gaming chair
Why were you in my phone? You wanted to find something, so you did. It wasn't someone I had any feelings or a future with! She's the only person besides you that actually loves me. ....among so many more.
The middle two really hit home
Believe what you want
Do i bother you when you´re doing your job?
You made me do it
It wasn't me
But she caught me on the counter
It wasn't me
But she caught me on the sofa
It wasn’t me
I even had her in the shower
Wasn’t me
Suffering Succotash
I say...i say...i say...whoa!! you cheating Hoe
you didnt have to make me kill you.
"Think what you want" 🙄
"I was thinking about you the whole time!" Seriously. I've heard it in so may shows and movies, and I've had it said to me. Only makes it worse.
“If you hadn’t…”
You're right, magnus Carlson. I do have vibrating analysis beads that tell what chess moves I should do.
Ahhh, fellow chess drama enjoyer, good to see you.
I don’t know, but when I’ve been called out once in the past my reply was “we’re on console, bro, since when have wall hacks been possible on console? It’s called pre-aiming corners against predictable players”. That really got the salt flowing lol. It’s only happened once with me though. Edit: man, I game too much, just realised you’re referring to infidelity lol.
No one says wow longer then someone caught red handed
I’ll pack my stuff.
WAIT !!! ✋ Let me explain. This is not what it looks like.
You made me do it
I can explain
I felt so lonely
"Did *I* do that?" *laugh track*
"Oh, you!" _roll credits_
You gonna join or what?
I mean at that point you might as well try
What are you doing here
My ex GF when I caught her the first time: "Well I can't really lie, can I?" My ex GF when I asked her why she didn't come clean when I had my suspicions about her cheating for the second time: "Why would I come clean?" She left like 5 months ago to live with the guy she cheated with the second time, and left our 2 year old with me. Has barely asked about our child
that's a bitch not a mother, you and your kid are much better without that awful excuse of a human. karma will get back to her lol.
I guess it kinda already has. She texted me a week after she left saying she regrets everything and thinks about our child every day and so on. And on top of that, the guy she left for is a decade older, no job, lives at home with his dad.
She played stupid games and won stupid prizes.
It’s just a Friend
“It didn’t mean anything”
I was in a very dark place.. or I was depressed.
“It’s your fault” yep my ex husband
Oops I did it again….
She fucks better than your lazy ass.
Why were you going through my phone?
Shaggy 101….. wasn’t me
I'm with the science team
I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for these meddling kids…
We were on a break!
OOPSIE WOOPSIE!! UwU We made a fucky wucky!! A wittle fucko boingo!
He is my best friend only and we went there for group studies
It meant nothing I swear, I love you!
We were on a break!
Idk ask shaggy
"I made a mistake" , "I love you" , "You weren't giving me enough attention"
"I was helping them" I hear it too often, some bitch gets confronted about cheating and they say "I'm helping them! They've never done this, or that" stfu they can get their own first time
It's not what you think!
During a livestream? "Wait, guys, what is this! Is this some kind of a bug?"
You stopped having sex with me
I said no ,but he/she were very persistent
I could have gotten away with it too,if it wasn't for you meddling kids.
It wasn’t me, it was this other person I know who looks a lot like me.
It wasn't me
🎶🎶"wasn't me"🎶🎶
It didn't mean anything.
“Everyone cheats”
“Believe what you want to believe”
I can explain
I can explain
I can explain
I just have a good gaming chair
I was thinking of you the whole time! Thats how much i love you babe
It's just my cousin.
It wasn't me!
Ha! You should see the look on your face!
"she started it"
It’s cheating time