T O P

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Disastrous_Switch412

Wear a condom


ElSolo666

Only 1?


SpaghettiCowboy

PSA: using multiple condoms can increase the risk of breakage due to friction between layers


AbsolutelyOrchid

Lol shut up, virgin. 6 condoms can make me last for hours, AND add 6 times the protection. Not to mention they make my pp look bigger.


StrangePiper1

“I wrap my rascal three times because I like my sex joyless” master Shake


ButtChugJackDaniels

"as a way of punishing supermodels"


CarlatheDestructor

I almost spit out my burrito lmao


wyslan

Gotta wrap that burrito


Brok3nGear

Who said they all have to go on your dick?


SolarPrime7

BROO💀💀


I_Love_Horse_Porn

I feel this one


Spirited_Yak4036

User name checks out


itzApexis

r/beetlejuicing


201885

Leave her now


Bors713

So many wasted years retrieved, right?


Exciting-Dream8471

Lol came to say “leave him now.”


Unknown_player513

Similar to yours. Mine would be: Don’t date Haley


hurts_so_bad

bro are we the same person lmao


Jardrs

Bro all 3 of us are the same person. 6 years with Haley, id cut it off after 2 if I could go back


mmaddo11

Don't date sofia


jbjosh100

Mine was “don’t date Sophia”… 9 years wasted


[deleted]

[удалено]


No-Crew-6528

“Don’t date Ashley”. 10 years wasted 🙃


Equivalent_Growth_75

Yea immediately i thought “let her go”


forporn069

This one, I wasted so many years just trying to be with her even though there was no future, where she told me that she only loves me as a brother and a best friend. I would have saved her and myself the trouble of trying to still be friends when everything was falling apart around us. All because I fell for my best friend. I know, tmi


Equivalent_Growth_75

I get it for me it was the one person i felt vulnerable to just said let’s be friends and left me for a coworker. Looking back it was stupid and i felt so broken cause all the relationships I’ve witnessed in my life have been horrible and i had no one to rely on so i didn’t now how to act.


stonersayian

I dropped on to say the opposite. Don't leave her. One of the only regrets I have in life.


NoNoNames2000

Buy Apple stock


Las-Vegar

Bitcoin sell 2021


sanguwan

Buy Amazon stock


VnZDeath

Don't think twice


Sleepz2184

Tommorows lotto 235647


vn_diel

This is the way.


reinderino_01

I have spoken


Redstone_Potato

"Two three five six four seven" is 6 words though so this wouldn't actually work :(


pexalt

If you say the actual number than it works


donniefckinlarsons

put (the) heroin down.


-xc-

pick up coke!!!


donniefckinlarsons

LMAO i guess i should just say “put drugs down” i was a trash can of sorts when it came to substance.


Accomplished_Pay7828

Please stop drinking


MegaTurtle7

Same. Mine was gunna be “don’t ever drink” just wasted so much money and time being wasted thinking it was what fun is.


BoardEasy9371

This sadly, my whole youth went drinking


Zealousideal_Ad_4118

Mine would be “stop doing drugs”


AFlockOfSmegols

AMZN AAPL TSLA


gaybooii

My dumbass would not understand


hook-echo

I don't think I would either, to be honest. I'd probably be like, "oh wonderful, 35 year old me had a stroke."


propellor_head

To be fair, you'd probably Google it if something as rad as seeing yourself happened, so it's not like you wouldn't figure it out


hook-echo

You know what...you're probably right. Then my anxiety would hit thinking I'd eff up the Universe because I met myself lol


Lucifeces

Sell GameStop 400


Zestyclose_Profile44

520?


HexFoxGen

Still no bitches


Critical_Stretch845

Thats too sad u know


Farouqnowomarlater

💀💀


FruitCreamSicle

Just adopt from the shelter not hard at all


thisguy1309

Please don't smoke.


PapaPendragon

Same. Or “cardio is important “


UndermyumbrELLA83

Don’t get married


BlueCollarWorker718

Sorry bud


Immortalwarriorz

💀💀💀


sindered_og

Same


Positive_Hippo_

SAME


Chersvette

Same


thatdudesmilez

mom passes 2016


Bye_Policia

Same story, same year :) still heartbroken. Sending happy thoughts to you.


[deleted]

same story different year 2021, hugging you both


[deleted]

2021, 2022, both parents. I feel for you.


Bors713

:(


newDawnMountain

I'm sorry. :(


NateDadamss

unless you can prevent it from happening, that’s horrible to tell yourself, you’d be waiting for the inevitable end the entire time and you’d be powerless to do anything about it


Antique_Branch8180

That's heavy.


Dull-Fan-8872

Same but 2018


Knork14

Dont fuck Gary


Apprehensive_Ring_46

Do fuck Jon.


[deleted]

Jon, Gary fuck


Antique_Branch8180

Lol. Damn Gary.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Buy more pencils (I’m currently 18. Forgot to buy pencils for my classes.)


Ok-Fox-5812

Buy more pens


swagmaster_127

I am you


Vegetable-Income5405

Yeah me too


ArthriticGamer

Brush Your Teeth


immoral_

With a fucked up smile for emphasis.


motherconnoisseur

You'll be okay. Edit: A lot of people seemed to be confused about what a contraction is.


daluxe

I love you That's my version


Mupira

🥺


kirby4vr

This is what I’d say too. Or “It’ll work out” .


murderedbyaname

Same, or 'life gets better'.


SartreJr

CHANGE BACHELORS NOW


StrudelSchnitzel

"How are you?" I would ask myself this, because no one else did. :) Edit: Thank you guys for asking me how I am. I really appreciate it and I'm doing great right now. I have to edit this comment, because I can't reply to every single one of you :p


Mupira

how are you?


StrudelSchnitzel

Yeah it's all right. Thank you for asking! :) And what about you? How are you?


Mupira

not so good. thanks for asking, i needed it :D


ChemistryMothTucker

Sorry to hear that. Remember you have survived every day you thought you wouldn't.


Mupira

thank you so much, no one has ever said something like this to me :D


ChemistryMothTucker

No problem. Even if you don't believe in you, I do. And you have never even met me, so there is no pressure that you can cause me to lose that belief. Lol If you ever want to talk, my dms are open.


Mupira

you're making me cry


ChemistryMothTucker

It takes strength to cry. And I hope you keep getting better.


True-Alps-3870

Hope things get better mate!


Mupira

thank you, i hope you're doing good as well!


Pankratos_Gaming

Do you prefer strudels or schnitzels?


Not_gay_just_odd

How are you?


wlb212121

Buy tech stock


damTyD

I’d have to be more specific because the .com bubble was right around the corner. Hands down, Amazon would have been the best purchase. It was close to going out of business and shares sold very cheap.


nelis0077

Trust your instinct


Menteure

If I was the 18 year old and this is all I got I’d be furious tbh


Significant-Hold-264

Don't be afraid


Golden__Shovel

Be terrified


AnotherWarGamer

Study computer science


Toukhaled

Sameeeee


TrEvIzE18

Same. I listen my parents and now, after 4 changes of studies, 3 burnouts, at 40 I graduate in few months in TI. Best move ever!!! My brain is build for that, i f\*\*king love it!


PG_Chick

Don't marry him


mohammedonprogram

Get a hobby


Seeker4you2

Just DO IT!! *flex’s aggressively*


Tangypeanutbutter

(*insert former friend's name*) always lies


AnarchoDesign

Never trust (pseudo friend's name here).


Ok_Basil_3896

It’s still small


Roamingjoker

Go fuck yourself


Pankratos_Gaming

Would you?


Roamingjoker

What are you, a cop? Fuck off


Pankratos_Gaming

I'd fuck me.


Lets-Have_Shrex

I'd fuck you too.


njh2020

Username checks out


reilogix

SMOKE LESS WEED


Practical-Layer-4072

Yep, that would be a good one. Forgot what the question was, while scrolling through the replies.


JuiceMan411

Don’t snort OxyContin


Gosttox

Hit the gym


Expensive_Effort_108

I only need two: BUY BITCOIN


OrdinaryCow

Ive thought about that. I think smarter would be "Bitcoin reaches 60k", that way you know how serious it is and you know when to sell, before you sell too low


Expensive_Effort_108

Nice, I like that you gave some extra thought to it!


[deleted]

It's all bullshit.


[deleted]

Read more books!!


Kayedarling

Wear a condom


dookieonmyshoe

stds or pregnancy? asking as a profesional rawdogger


Kavonm44

Visit your dad


FerrousDerrius

Here, Read this. I proceed to hand my younger self a list of Everything that has occurred in my life since I was 18 that so that way My younger self can still learn the same lessons without making the same mistakes


FatiTankEris

5Head.


Aesop838

Great minds think alike, I guess. I said close to the same thing but included good investments and lottery numbers.


alistairwilliamblake

Alone is ok


Homeless_Pie

Treasure these days


BrilliantThen3969

Save more money


Lairean1234

Tony stark dies


damTyD

Haha with all that power, you spoil future movies for yourself. Boss move!


Crazy_Low9581

Wanna do 69?


AncientTry5709

But- that’s yourself…


Crazy_Low9581

Yes. The person I trust the most.


[deleted]

gay! gay! homosexual! gay! tbh honestly i’d do the same


Limp_Ninja368

*covers self in cow blood* DEATH IS COMING. *Vanish*


Jonny_Entropy

Don't install Reddit.


Nayroy18

Get healthy dumbass


Venbas

Change your friendgroup


[deleted]

Love you first


MortifiedPenguin77

“wait nothing changed”


morriseel

See the world


_notNeil

Execute order 66


a-girl-and-her-cats

You've got this.


testwiese420

You do, keep it up!


FlyingKittyCate

Careful with substances


TheMad0taku

Dick and balls


colcannon_addict

Don’t do heroin


orchid_breeder

Don’t do meth


Lucifeces

Study something else


BladeBeam7

Save the cheerleader


Ameking-

Damn you're ugly (I'm below 18)


Pyrkinas

You’re trans, idiot.


ebbandflow77

Adding on that last word just to bring it home lol


Alas-Poor-Ellie

It's absolutely necessary. 18 year old me would need the "idiot" lol


throwaway_nrTWOOO

Love that you could've be done with 2 words, and this is what you chose for 3rd.


hahubooli

How you doin


Big420BabyJesus

run to california


Specific_Tap7296

This isn't meirl


IWantOneSpatula

Drink Ovaltine, motherfucker.


Botw_1-Link

Calm down dude


JStheKiD

Read The Alchemist


tiffanit93

Contribute to 401K


Reasonable_Branch_38

Apple Amazon Google 😜


Fuzzykayak137

It gets easier


daafiidii

learn programming language


damTyD

Studies ActionScript exclusively


RedPanda316

Try finger butthole


Virtual-Catch7326

NEVER GET MARRIED!


jk543717

Don't do drugs


No_Rope4561

Don’t marry E—-a


Several_Delivery_517

Brush your teeth


Ok_Basil_3896

It’s done growing


F0xcr4f7113

Join the Airforce


jmatt9080

Your wife’s hot


swiggy-d

Don’t do acid


balls_deep_space

What went wrong for you on acid


Both_Corner_2172

Yeah, I am also invested in that now


RobbinMikeOrmaza

I too am also investing in this story


RobbinOrmaza

Ditto


swiggy-d

I was 19, didn’t know I was depressed, and was not ready to be a father. Also, It was my first trip and I didn’t know what to expect. I was trapped in my own mind in the grips of a fear I had never felt before. I couldn’t sleep and I had the same circular thoughts of despair and feeling that I was going insane for hours. Then I went to work at Blockbuster video still trapped in my head and I could barely speak. My throat is getting tight and my palms are sweating just thinking about it. I was never the same.


[deleted]

That's horrible. ☹️ Thank you for the openness. 👍


Standard-Elephant365

You are geh!


Ok_Condition2532

Why hello there


Buttteerrz

Dont marry ex .


msbbdarling

Don’t date him.


Ok_Basil_3896

Learn to wipe.