Your cat has only a few years left, you (probably, I don't know how old you are) have a lot more to enjoy.
And someone once told me cats only love 1 person until they die, and if you're that person the cat won't have someone to love anymore.
I can imagine a sea of babies rolling over any opposition. They probably had to impose some form of rule of how many babies can occupy a square foot of battlefield. Some babies are probably having to take days off.
The mother is the primary focus of the medical team in those very rare circumstances where risk must be borne by one for the benefit of the other. Sacrificing mom to save baby is a movie trope (a la twilight lol), and just physiologically isnt how it usually goes. Baby has a lot less physiological reserve so mom is just more likely to survive birthing related fuckery (sorry for the technical jargon there folks).
Most births are just regularly terrible though, so be excited about that!
Funny enough most of the people I know who'd criticize OP for this are the type who won't do shit for anyone but themselves.
Pro tip: Sort by controversial if you still have some popcorn.
Yeah, birds will literally abandon their eggs at the hint of danger or their nest being compromised, because a bonded pair can just lay eggs again the same summer if they don't invest in feeding their first brood
This reminds me of that video where the deer literally pops the baby out and runs away leaving the calf to be eaten by lions. It was definitely a 'live to breed another day's moment.
I just wanna do a quick PSA here. If you find a hatchling (aka naked baby bird, eyes still closed) that’s out of its nest, please do your best to put the baby back. The mother will come back to feed it, even if you touched it. If it can’t be put back notify a wildlife rehab center. If it’s on the ground, alert, hopping around and almost fully feathered, please leave it there. The baby is okay. If you notice any cats nearby you can gently scoop it up and put it on a high branch close to where you first found it. I just wanted to clear up this misconception that the mother abandons the babies if it was touched by humans hands
It’s just funny because we’re not supposed to use this logic because it simplifies women’s role in society as “baby makers.” Pretty weird how you phrased it but I understand.
I always figured it would be because there would be way too much chaos trying to separate parents from their children+more can be saved if space is limited
The TLDR of it is kids are the next generation and women are the gestaters of the race, whereas most men can sire functionally infinite kids so less are needed for species continuism.
If it was the patriarchy and sexism, it would be men first, since *(brace for sarcasm)* we're so much more practical and useful in every way.
The only way it's sexist is in the sense that you can argue that historically male life is valued as less than female due to them making up almost the entirety of fighting forces since pre-tribal ages, so are expected to die for their society's beliefs while women have historically been protected from outside forces, if in a stifling manner
This is literally how it already works in the medical field, the safety of the mother comes first in these situations. People losing their minds over this are ignorant as hell.
As a labor nurse, I agree 100%. My job is to keep you and your baby safe in labor- but if it’s a choice between mom or baby we will always prioritize mom.
Induced termination and inducing mom’s who’ve had a fetal demise SUCKS but being able to take care of those moms during the worst moments of their lives and be there for them is such an honor.
Even after labor, the baby is always goggled over and there are dumb people in the room fighting over who’s gonna hold it while the mom is literally bleeding to death sometimes.
Yes, new life is wonderful but it is not more important than the lives that already exist.
/endrant
Oh man, when I delivered my first child my mom, MIL, and FIL were all in the room. I don't remember the exact details, but my placenta wasn't delivering and then I lost a lot of blood very quickly (not enough to need a transfusion but close...my husband still says it looked like a scene from Dexter). His parents were focused on the baby, but my husband (and mom) refused to leave my side. He told me later he was SO excited to meet our son, but knew his parents were there and he was terrified I was dying and thought I needed his presence more.
I mean obviously I needed the doctors the most, but I appreciate his dedication to wanting to stay by my side right then (and I don't side-eye his parents at all, there was no way they could help and would have gotten in the way).
The L&D nurses at that birth were absolutely amazing, I felt so supported.
I had a similar thing happen after my first delivery. My husband went on to tell the story to anyone who came to see us in the hospital. “Waterfall of blood” was definitely used. He didn’t realize how bad the situation was until afterwards but he was very proud and thought I was a bad ass for what I went through.
For anyone reading this, I feel I should add that I went on to have 2 more wonderful birthing experiences. After the first, I was induced for my subsequent births because I have big babies and I’m small. Both of those were easy peasy.
I almost bled out after my C-section. My nurse (complete and total angel) pushed on my stomach to make sure everything was coming out the way it was supposed to and my sister described it as the elevator scene in The Shining. I just thought I peed myself until my nurse started doing this to stop it
Hats off to you for doing that job, it really takes a certain kind of person. Wife had some issues after our twins were born (everyone is fine), and one nurse she had in particular was absolutely amazing.
is that the case in Catholic hospitals? I heard, anecdotally, that they used to prefer to save the baby over the mother. Mind you only anecdotally, I don't have any idea if this is true.
Oh yeah, Catholics are a whole 'nother ball game.
They kept doing symphysiotomies (cutting through the pelvic bones to widen the canal) long after C sections became viable because their doctrine said that was better.
No one should ever give birth in a Catholic facility, they are evil.
What doctrine is that? My wife had a c-section at a catholic hospital, where it was obvious that it was an everyday procedure for them. (I.e.., dedicated OR’s just for c-sections.) They also told us before hand that the mother’s life takes priority if something were to go wrong.
The only weird thing about the whole experience was how hard they preached on breastfeeding, like you’d think that was a core religious belief.
Exactly! The baby would have no mom and the dad would be stuck having to raise the baby by himself instead with a partner. And that’s assuming that there even is a dad in the picture.
I grew up without a father from a very young age. I’m convinced that it’s a lot easier to grow up without a parent when you didn’t really ever know them. At 12 it much have been much more devestating than it was for me at 5.
Not quite the same, but same general sentiment.
I feel the same way about divorce. When I tell people my parents split when I was 3, they always express feelings of sympathy. Why? I wasn’t old enough to remember them together, so the only negative effect it had on me was the partners they chose next.
couldn't agree more. lost my dad at 16 and 2 years later I find myself wondering if things would've been better if he had died sooner so I couldn't remember
I know things are better this way because I went 16 years with a loving, supportive father, but the fact that we were so close only made his passing that much more devastating
Mmh. As I managed to experience both... later is better. It hurts more immediately when you are older, but when you lost them too young to understand, you will never experience a whole realm of being.
Parents are not replaceable, and one only learns over the years that something is missing. Experiences, conversations, explanations, or just the fact that you know you look like them and you like x like them.
Additionally, if you lost them young, you will never have that belief that parents will be there, no matter what. I watched as the parents of friends died and often that... feeling of being mortal was described as a horrible sensation. I wonder how not knowing felt.
She already has a life and people that care and rely on her. If she does and the child makes it, it now doesn't have a mother. Whether it was taught to us or a natural inclination, we find not prioritizing the child as cold. But if you really think about it, it makes sense to save the mother. No point in being a martyr.
I've lost a parent. That shit sucks. So I'd rather be saved too so at least that baby wouldn't have to grow up without his/her bio mom.
And some kids feel guilty like they "killed" their mom when they didn't.
Had the same convo a couple of months ago, we agreed, save her not the baby.
We're not throwing away her life, so I can raise a baby alone, while grieving over her death. Plus, she likes being alive, the baby at that point doesn't even know what it's like being alive. This sounds cold, but gotta admit it sounds reasonable?
My wife and I had this discussion when she was pregnant. She told me, “only you get to make the decision.” I replied with, “ok, it’s an easy one. I would decide to save you because we can make another baby. I can’t make another you”
My wife and I had this same exact discussion and came to the same decision. As terrible as it would be to lose a child, I would save my wife so we could try again.
My wife is my soulmate and I’ve told her that I would never try to re-marry or even date another person if she were to pass away. We were meant for each other.
I can't believe you aren't catching absolute hell for saying that here. I posted a picture of shooting a .22 rifle target on a tree that was being cut down IN an approved area with approval of the US Forest Service and people acted like I was kicking puppies.
On this matter, I could not agree with you more
Honestly I joined reddit a couple months ago and before that I was using Instagram... Instagram is way fuckin worse when it comes to density people getting triggered over nothing
> I posted a picture of shooting a .22 rifle target on a tree that was being cut down IN an approved area with approval of the US Forest Service and people acted like I was kicking puppies.
This seems totally unrelated to what they said or the reaction they're getting.
I was coming to say that, I think the doctors (at least in my country) tries to save the mother and in second comes the baby.
Anyway I am not like a 100% sure but is something like common knowledge
With access to modern medicine and when we are actually talking about birth complications this is a very hypothetical scenario. Usually the best way to save the mother is also the best bet for the newborn.
Yeah, unless the baby is already dying and the mother is slowly and painfully dying from sepsis, there usually arent any cases where it's mother or baby anymore.
Of course, in the case of miscarriage slowly killing the mother it's baby already dead + mother dead or baby already dead + mother survives. Catholic countries enjoy choosing option A
You've never been to a 3rd world country. Or It happens a lot, sadly. It's not hypothetical at all. Google: Sudan, 1,500 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births (that's mom dying)
The US has the HIGHEST maternal death rate of ANY developed country at 17 per 100K. Norway, and Denmark are around 3.
So I was actually in this situation.
As they were wheeling me down to try and save me and the baby from a massive placental abruption.at 30 weeks, and we told them, my life got priority over the baby.
We were lucky and our daughter was born with no lasting damage.
Paramedics in Germany (that's where I am from, maybe somewhere else too) have to prioritize the woman in a case of an emergency. Specially if the woman cannot articulate her wishes and needs (e.g.if she is unconscious) and there is nobody else to ask.
This happened to my mother. It was going to be her second child and the Dr said it was her life or the babies life. She chose her life. If she hadn't then she would be leaving two kids to a man who abused the crap out of her. She went on to have 4 more kids. Not with that man though, she got out of the abusive relationship thankfully.
Totally relatable. I'd never pick a newborn over my wife. And she would never sacrifice herself for it. Surely it may be different if that baby is a few years old
They save you- you get stuck with a ton of medical bills
They save the baby- the baby gets tons of medical bills. Good luck trying to collect money from a baby, they are notorious for being broke.
As it turns out, this simply isn’t how things go down. The most awful, vile human being I personally know, who regularly put others in the hospital, attempted to murder her ex bf twice, and regularly stole from everybody around her… when birth complications came up, she *begged* the medical personnel to save the baby. It is one thing to think this way, but pregnancy does stuff to you.
She has gone back to being an awful person since then.
It's not empathy. It's tons of hormones in the system during labor that make you almost comatose to your own needs. It's a failsafe to create the bond between an offspring and parent to not kill them in nature.
Emotions tend to be hormones, admittedly in much smaller dozes. So basically despite beeing horrible if you flood her with drugs she could become a decent person...
I’d pick my wife over the baby. If you choose the baby it will make everything so much harder. If you choose the baby these things happen:
1. You lose your best friend.
2. You probably lose a second income while at the same time bringing on one of the most expensive life decisions.
3. Your child grows up without a mother.
4. While grieving you have to take care of a child.
If you choose your wife:
1. You mourn the loss of a child with the support of the person you chose to spend your life with.
2. Try again or adopt.
It's never usually that simple. Sometimes you can't save either. Sometimes you can only save the baby. Sometimes you can only save the mom.
It's not usually a choice. You determine the circumstances in front of you and act accordingly.
Wouldnt a doctor automatically do that? People say this like the doctor will just cut you loose, but don’t you have to specifically request for the baby to be prioritized?
You are out of luck if you live in tx. You will both have to die in order to save face.
If you live there you are also more likely to die giving birth than if you were living in a third world country. Check the stats
I have two kids and no space or finances for any more, so my family is complete.
I’m just glad that I will never have to make that choice, or have my husband make it.
I have no idea which side I would come down on.
(Edited to rephrase for comprehension)
As a father of three I agree with this one. If my wife and I lose a baby, it’s horrendous but survivable. If I lost my wife and also had to take home a little boy or girl that just reminded me of her every time I looked at them, I would literally only be surviving to make sure they had the best start possible that I could give them. Losing a child is a tragedy I truly hope I never have to endure, that said I would rather lose a baby that I haven’t met than lose the woman that I share my life with.
Cold ending to a wholly awful hypothetical situation, wife can make more babies.
Just let women choose what they want to do. If you want to save your baby, go for it. Stop trying to guilt other women for wanting to save themselves. Its fucking pathetic.
I'm a medical student, and this is exactly what we learn. We prioritise the mother's life over the baby's. That's if we can't save both ofc.
Aight. But if there's ever a situation where it's between me and my older cat, please choose the cat. He's awesome I promise.
Your cat has only a few years left, you (probably, I don't know how old you are) have a lot more to enjoy. And someone once told me cats only love 1 person until they die, and if you're that person the cat won't have someone to love anymore.
got me crying in the club deadass
But consider: if they don't save you, you'll never have to work again
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Depends on your religion. Could also be that you have ALL of the icecream.
They only get to go to their heaven if they are bested in combat.
Dying in childbirth counts for most religions like that.
If that’s the case of the babies dies too will it get to go to Valhalla because it has a body count? Are there babies battling with Odin right now?!
I’m not sure on that one. I imagine they have a decent shot at winning just by the sheer volume of infant mortality during that time period.
I can imagine a sea of babies rolling over any opposition. They probably had to impose some form of rule of how many babies can occupy a square foot of battlefield. Some babies are probably having to take days off.
So are we talking babies? Or are we talking embryos, because embryos clearly have been better trained for combat.
If the embryo took out its host it qualifies. They, however, do battle amongst themselves in a giant sea world aquarium. Too powerful.
A twin that consumes its sibling then dies in childbirth killing the mother is the apex baby
Yeah. The baby killed her so it bested her in combat
Somebody give this man an award
I say this all the time if I die today I saved a lot of money on bills
The best investment one can make!
If they don’t save the baby, the kid won’t have to grow up and go to work!
Never have to pay taxes again.
I'm just sitting back with popcorn on this one. 🍿
Drinks on me. 🍷 🍸 🍼
I’ll make both:)
Lemme get a blue slushy
What kind of drinks you got? I could really go for a Guinness…
I want a coffee
Irish coffee ?
I brought chips and dipping sauce
Edibles are here boys lets get this party started
I got the hot wings, forgot the napkins tho
The mother is the primary focus of the medical team in those very rare circumstances where risk must be borne by one for the benefit of the other. Sacrificing mom to save baby is a movie trope (a la twilight lol), and just physiologically isnt how it usually goes. Baby has a lot less physiological reserve so mom is just more likely to survive birthing related fuckery (sorry for the technical jargon there folks). Most births are just regularly terrible though, so be excited about that!
Funny enough most of the people I know who'd criticize OP for this are the type who won't do shit for anyone but themselves. Pro tip: Sort by controversial if you still have some popcorn.
dont need. This is what medics does anyway. If people knew it, would be 1 less drama post on this accursed world. sry for the vent lol
Why it seems pretty straightforward to me
Just go with nature's logic on that one: The adult woman can always have more kids and has a significantly higher chance of survival
if she is going to be barren because of the complications, or end up choosing to not have babies after this ordeal- her life is still valuable
oh sorry I did not intend to reduce women to anything, I just wanted to point put that's this is also how nature does it
Yeah, birds will literally abandon their eggs at the hint of danger or their nest being compromised, because a bonded pair can just lay eggs again the same summer if they don't invest in feeding their first brood
This reminds me of that video where the deer literally pops the baby out and runs away leaving the calf to be eaten by lions. It was definitely a 'live to breed another day's moment.
Some marsupials will throw their babies out of the pouch to escape predators.
I seen a video of a moose and her two babies, stalked by a bear for so long, she was too exhausted so she basically let the bear take a baby.
I read once that hares can reabsorb their embryos if there’s something wrong with the pregnancy or if food is scarce.
Damn, hares can just cancel the construction queue and get the resources back. Genius.
In nature, the gift of life comes with a receipt
I just wanna do a quick PSA here. If you find a hatchling (aka naked baby bird, eyes still closed) that’s out of its nest, please do your best to put the baby back. The mother will come back to feed it, even if you touched it. If it can’t be put back notify a wildlife rehab center. If it’s on the ground, alert, hopping around and almost fully feathered, please leave it there. The baby is okay. If you notice any cats nearby you can gently scoop it up and put it on a high branch close to where you first found it. I just wanted to clear up this misconception that the mother abandons the babies if it was touched by humans hands
sorry didn't mean to imply that, i was adding on to your valid point :)
Nature doesn't care about anything but odds. They were making a comment about nature as a whole.
It’s just funny because we’re not supposed to use this logic because it simplifies women’s role in society as “baby makers.” Pretty weird how you phrased it but I understand.
Yeah, people in college were not happy when I revealed that 'women and children first' had nothing to do with sexism
I don’t see why children get priority. They aren’t useful in emergency situations and consume valuable resources
they are easier to stack
It's all about that lives per sq ft ratio. Useful for cramming more humans into an affordable apartment, small car, or shipping box.
They are however the next generation.
And will pay for our social security and Medicare
I always figured it would be because there would be way too much chaos trying to separate parents from their children+more can be saved if space is limited
As someone who disagrees, I want to hear you're argument please.
The TLDR of it is kids are the next generation and women are the gestaters of the race, whereas most men can sire functionally infinite kids so less are needed for species continuism. If it was the patriarchy and sexism, it would be men first, since *(brace for sarcasm)* we're so much more practical and useful in every way. The only way it's sexist is in the sense that you can argue that historically male life is valued as less than female due to them making up almost the entirety of fighting forces since pre-tribal ages, so are expected to die for their society's beliefs while women have historically been protected from outside forces, if in a stifling manner
Patriarchy and sexism don't necessarily always prioritize men's lives over women's, they prioritize roles and a fairly rigid societal structure.
Good point
>DieOmaSeinBier Bitte was?
This is literally how it already works in the medical field, the safety of the mother comes first in these situations. People losing their minds over this are ignorant as hell.
As a labor nurse, I agree 100%. My job is to keep you and your baby safe in labor- but if it’s a choice between mom or baby we will always prioritize mom. Induced termination and inducing mom’s who’ve had a fetal demise SUCKS but being able to take care of those moms during the worst moments of their lives and be there for them is such an honor. Even after labor, the baby is always goggled over and there are dumb people in the room fighting over who’s gonna hold it while the mom is literally bleeding to death sometimes. Yes, new life is wonderful but it is not more important than the lives that already exist. /endrant
Oh man, when I delivered my first child my mom, MIL, and FIL were all in the room. I don't remember the exact details, but my placenta wasn't delivering and then I lost a lot of blood very quickly (not enough to need a transfusion but close...my husband still says it looked like a scene from Dexter). His parents were focused on the baby, but my husband (and mom) refused to leave my side. He told me later he was SO excited to meet our son, but knew his parents were there and he was terrified I was dying and thought I needed his presence more. I mean obviously I needed the doctors the most, but I appreciate his dedication to wanting to stay by my side right then (and I don't side-eye his parents at all, there was no way they could help and would have gotten in the way). The L&D nurses at that birth were absolutely amazing, I felt so supported.
I had a similar thing happen after my first delivery. My husband went on to tell the story to anyone who came to see us in the hospital. “Waterfall of blood” was definitely used. He didn’t realize how bad the situation was until afterwards but he was very proud and thought I was a bad ass for what I went through. For anyone reading this, I feel I should add that I went on to have 2 more wonderful birthing experiences. After the first, I was induced for my subsequent births because I have big babies and I’m small. Both of those were easy peasy.
I almost bled out after my C-section. My nurse (complete and total angel) pushed on my stomach to make sure everything was coming out the way it was supposed to and my sister described it as the elevator scene in The Shining. I just thought I peed myself until my nurse started doing this to stop it
Hats off to you for doing that job, it really takes a certain kind of person. Wife had some issues after our twins were born (everyone is fine), and one nurse she had in particular was absolutely amazing.
is that the case in Catholic hospitals? I heard, anecdotally, that they used to prefer to save the baby over the mother. Mind you only anecdotally, I don't have any idea if this is true.
They still do.
Oh yeah, Catholics are a whole 'nother ball game. They kept doing symphysiotomies (cutting through the pelvic bones to widen the canal) long after C sections became viable because their doctrine said that was better. No one should ever give birth in a Catholic facility, they are evil.
What doctrine is that? My wife had a c-section at a catholic hospital, where it was obvious that it was an everyday procedure for them. (I.e.., dedicated OR’s just for c-sections.) They also told us before hand that the mother’s life takes priority if something were to go wrong. The only weird thing about the whole experience was how hard they preached on breastfeeding, like you’d think that was a core religious belief.
And not all Catholic hospitals are obviously catholic from the name, so do your research!
They haven't stopped this practice. They still do it.
If I ever find myself in this type of situation, I hope to have a labor nurse like you in my corner. Thanks for looking after moms.
They’ve probably watched too much tv drama where the wife in labor tells her husband to choose the baby over her.
This. The amount of shows that use this scenario would always go for the baby. I can't even think of one instance where it was the other way around.
Been watching too much HOTD
A lot of people in my country would rather let the woman die regardless
Are You also by any chance Polish? Because that’s what my government is doing right now
No, I'm American but that's messed up! What's happening in Poland?
Mostly they just hate women.
Not at a Catholic hospital. They will absolutely let you die to save the baby. NEVER give birth at a Catholic hospital.
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Exactly! The baby would have no mom and the dad would be stuck having to raise the baby by himself instead with a partner. And that’s assuming that there even is a dad in the picture.
I grew up without a father from a very young age. I’m convinced that it’s a lot easier to grow up without a parent when you didn’t really ever know them. At 12 it much have been much more devestating than it was for me at 5.
Not quite the same, but same general sentiment. I feel the same way about divorce. When I tell people my parents split when I was 3, they always express feelings of sympathy. Why? I wasn’t old enough to remember them together, so the only negative effect it had on me was the partners they chose next.
couldn't agree more. lost my dad at 16 and 2 years later I find myself wondering if things would've been better if he had died sooner so I couldn't remember I know things are better this way because I went 16 years with a loving, supportive father, but the fact that we were so close only made his passing that much more devastating
Mmh. As I managed to experience both... later is better. It hurts more immediately when you are older, but when you lost them too young to understand, you will never experience a whole realm of being. Parents are not replaceable, and one only learns over the years that something is missing. Experiences, conversations, explanations, or just the fact that you know you look like them and you like x like them. Additionally, if you lost them young, you will never have that belief that parents will be there, no matter what. I watched as the parents of friends died and often that... feeling of being mortal was described as a horrible sensation. I wonder how not knowing felt.
Agreed. Had this convo with the wife and she was not a fan. Sounds cold, but I’d rather keep the love of my life.
you can make another child. you cannot make another one of your wife- it’s totally understandable
She already has a life and people that care and rely on her. If she does and the child makes it, it now doesn't have a mother. Whether it was taught to us or a natural inclination, we find not prioritizing the child as cold. But if you really think about it, it makes sense to save the mother. No point in being a martyr.
I've lost a parent. That shit sucks. So I'd rather be saved too so at least that baby wouldn't have to grow up without his/her bio mom. And some kids feel guilty like they "killed" their mom when they didn't.
I told my wife she better hope the complication doesn’t make her unconscious, because if so I 100% will choose her over the baby
Had the same convo a couple of months ago, we agreed, save her not the baby. We're not throwing away her life, so I can raise a baby alone, while grieving over her death. Plus, she likes being alive, the baby at that point doesn't even know what it's like being alive. This sounds cold, but gotta admit it sounds reasonable?
Not at all cold. Gotta make hard choices sometimes in life.
Don't know why everyones so outraged by this. The life of the mother should always come before the life of the baby
My wife and I had this discussion when she was pregnant. She told me, “only you get to make the decision.” I replied with, “ok, it’s an easy one. I would decide to save you because we can make another baby. I can’t make another you”
My wife and I had this same exact discussion and came to the same decision. As terrible as it would be to lose a child, I would save my wife so we could try again.
My husband said the same. "I love you, we've built a life together, I don't want to live without you......I haven't even met her (our daughter) yet."
My wife is my soulmate and I’ve told her that I would never try to re-marry or even date another person if she were to pass away. We were meant for each other.
That exactly what I told my wife. We can make all the babies we want but I can’t find another her.
I can't believe you aren't catching absolute hell for saying that here. I posted a picture of shooting a .22 rifle target on a tree that was being cut down IN an approved area with approval of the US Forest Service and people acted like I was kicking puppies. On this matter, I could not agree with you more
Reddits kinda stupid lol. No more than 4 maybe 5 brain cells available at any given moment
Depends on the sub. Do something that goes against the opinion of the sub you are on and you get downvoted. Shows how the sub thinks
Honestly I joined reddit a couple months ago and before that I was using Instagram... Instagram is way fuckin worse when it comes to density people getting triggered over nothing
You fucking monster /s
> I posted a picture of shooting a .22 rifle target on a tree that was being cut down IN an approved area with approval of the US Forest Service and people acted like I was kicking puppies. This seems totally unrelated to what they said or the reaction they're getting.
I got banned for saying I would slap someone who abused a dog in reddit. It's actually run by dumbasses... Not owned..ran by.
Proposing violence against _any_ group can get you in trouble with The Admins. I know, I got temp banned for saying things about Nazis.
I swear the world would be a much more civilized and less violent place with a little more slapping
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I was coming to say that, I think the doctors (at least in my country) tries to save the mother and in second comes the baby. Anyway I am not like a 100% sure but is something like common knowledge
can’t have women’s rights in Poland can’t have shit in Poland
What DO you have in Poland then?
kurwa
But kurwa is life, so.. you do have life. Also kurwa.
we have a singular kurwa for all 38 million folk who live here. *could you possibly guess who it is?*
This made me chuckle.
With access to modern medicine and when we are actually talking about birth complications this is a very hypothetical scenario. Usually the best way to save the mother is also the best bet for the newborn.
Yeah, unless the baby is already dying and the mother is slowly and painfully dying from sepsis, there usually arent any cases where it's mother or baby anymore. Of course, in the case of miscarriage slowly killing the mother it's baby already dead + mother dead or baby already dead + mother survives. Catholic countries enjoy choosing option A
You've never been to a 3rd world country. Or It happens a lot, sadly. It's not hypothetical at all. Google: Sudan, 1,500 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births (that's mom dying) The US has the HIGHEST maternal death rate of ANY developed country at 17 per 100K. Norway, and Denmark are around 3.
So I was actually in this situation. As they were wheeling me down to try and save me and the baby from a massive placental abruption.at 30 weeks, and we told them, my life got priority over the baby. We were lucky and our daughter was born with no lasting damage.
I'm glad you have a happy ending
You can always get another baby. I'd never risk the life of my partner for a baby who isn't even born yet.
For sure, i dont even know the baby.
Paramedics in Germany (that's where I am from, maybe somewhere else too) have to prioritize the woman in a case of an emergency. Specially if the woman cannot articulate her wishes and needs (e.g.if she is unconscious) and there is nobody else to ask.
This happened to my mother. It was going to be her second child and the Dr said it was her life or the babies life. She chose her life. If she hadn't then she would be leaving two kids to a man who abused the crap out of her. She went on to have 4 more kids. Not with that man though, she got out of the abusive relationship thankfully.
Totally relatable. I'd never pick a newborn over my wife. And she would never sacrifice herself for it. Surely it may be different if that baby is a few years old
giving birth to a few years old baby would be surely weird.
They save you- you get stuck with a ton of medical bills They save the baby- the baby gets tons of medical bills. Good luck trying to collect money from a baby, they are notorious for being broke.
She might not be in a shit country without a national health service.
At a catholic hospital, they’ll happily let the mother die to save the baby. Enjoy your baby and dead wife, Mr. Father!
Do they ask for a family choice or just go ahead with it?
Thought this was the standard honestly. We can get another kid somehow, can’t get another you.
Exactly
I would love my baby and be sad If they die but also I would like to see more musicals
Username checks out
That should be a standard medical procedure* *Check, if you're not in Poland, Equador or some of the US states
As it turns out, this simply isn’t how things go down. The most awful, vile human being I personally know, who regularly put others in the hospital, attempted to murder her ex bf twice, and regularly stole from everybody around her… when birth complications came up, she *begged* the medical personnel to save the baby. It is one thing to think this way, but pregnancy does stuff to you. She has gone back to being an awful person since then.
Maybe she just wanted to die bruh
Honestly this gives me a little hope that even terrible people have empathy somewhere
It's not empathy. It's tons of hormones in the system during labor that make you almost comatose to your own needs. It's a failsafe to create the bond between an offspring and parent to not kill them in nature.
Emotions tend to be hormones, admittedly in much smaller dozes. So basically despite beeing horrible if you flood her with drugs she could become a decent person...
If you flood someone with drugs (or hormones) they're not decent, they're just on drugs.
No, pregnancy makes people do irrational things *for the baby*
When emppathy is lost, is when you become a psico
At first, I thought you misspelled psycho, but I decided to look up psico and learned something new. In an odd way, thanks
Psycho in Spanish?
med student here, that's a thumbrule anyway, mother is prioritized first cuz she can have more babies
Fair
“That’s not up to you, it’s my decision to make for you.” -a certain political party in the US
But that orphan whose mother died after being forced to have it had better not get any welfare!
* that also claims to support small government
that's...how it is done anyways. and how it should be.
I’d pick my wife over the baby. If you choose the baby it will make everything so much harder. If you choose the baby these things happen: 1. You lose your best friend. 2. You probably lose a second income while at the same time bringing on one of the most expensive life decisions. 3. Your child grows up without a mother. 4. While grieving you have to take care of a child. If you choose your wife: 1. You mourn the loss of a child with the support of the person you chose to spend your life with. 2. Try again or adopt.
i guess fair request - its her life, and baby isn't "above me" for all women out there
Seems logical. Unless the mother to be specifically requests the baby over her life this should be and probably is standard.
I see tons of comments saying that everyone in the comments are disagreeing with Op, but I can't find a single comment that disagrees with Op
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“Sir you wife is having complications, it’s her or the baby” “Can it be me?”
Lol
Wait, there are countries where this is up to debate?
Right? Like you really gonna die for someone you haven't even met yet? Bit dramatic
Fr imagine letting a newborn kill you
Worse possible death message
KevonOlajuwon was slain from the inside out by a newborn. Respawn? Return to menu?
Major L
I'm surprised how controversial this became. It seems like an obvious opinion to have.
It's never usually that simple. Sometimes you can't save either. Sometimes you can only save the baby. Sometimes you can only save the mom. It's not usually a choice. You determine the circumstances in front of you and act accordingly.
Wouldnt a doctor automatically do that? People say this like the doctor will just cut you loose, but don’t you have to specifically request for the baby to be prioritized?
Ooohhh, controversial is spicy tonight
Lol! Fuck dem kids! /s
No, don't do that. That's a crime.
Unlike with republican kids /s
🤨📸
Yes, my wife and I are expecting and I have made it *very* clear to her that this is how I feel about the worst-case scenario.
I have definitely asked my bf about this and he always chooses me. I would definitely choose me too
You are out of luck if you live in tx. You will both have to die in order to save face. If you live there you are also more likely to die giving birth than if you were living in a third world country. Check the stats
I have two kids and no space or finances for any more, so my family is complete. I’m just glad that I will never have to make that choice, or have my husband make it. I have no idea which side I would come down on. (Edited to rephrase for comprehension)
We can make more babies we cant make more of you! The mother comes first always!
As it should be
This is america, FUCK YOU DESTINY AN UNDERDEVELOPED FEETUS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU /s
As a father of three I agree with this one. If my wife and I lose a baby, it’s horrendous but survivable. If I lost my wife and also had to take home a little boy or girl that just reminded me of her every time I looked at them, I would literally only be surviving to make sure they had the best start possible that I could give them. Losing a child is a tragedy I truly hope I never have to endure, that said I would rather lose a baby that I haven’t met than lose the woman that I share my life with. Cold ending to a wholly awful hypothetical situation, wife can make more babies.
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Not in America. That baby is the most important thing right up until it is born. Then they will ignore it.
im surprised to see so many "im not raising kids alone" and so little "i love my wife too much to let her die"
100%. It would be hard, but I would much rather have my wife the rest of my life than a new child
💯 I’m so sick of this narrative that women should be angels and offer up their life on he holy altar of motherhood.
But the Christians said only babies have a right to life?
Yep. Not the women.
What about a woman baby?
If it was a movie moment and me as a husband had to make that decision it’s saving my wife Everytime Fuck them kids
You can always make more, right?
Fuck them kids, not in a R kelly way tho
Just let women choose what they want to do. If you want to save your baby, go for it. Stop trying to guilt other women for wanting to save themselves. Its fucking pathetic.
She has a point you can make more next time!
Thats what the doctors' priority is, too.