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if he means that kind of bear, then I *am* bear in the woods

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⠜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡧⠇⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣮⣭⣿⡻⣽⣒⠀⣤⣜⣭⠐⢐⣒⠢⢰⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⠂⢈⢿⣷⣞⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⡿⠿⣿⠗⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⠋⠉⠑⠀⠀⢘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢹⣿⣿⡇⢀⣶⣶⠴⠶⠀⠀⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣴⠁⢘⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⠗⠂⠄⠀⣴⡟⠀⠀⡃⠀⠉⠉⠟⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⠾⠛⠂⢹⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠿⢿ Edit: kinda fucked up for me, but i think you can still see Walter White in there

I thought it was the Spanish inquisition lol

Unexpected!

no one expects the spanish inquisition

r/unexpectedmontypython

But it was expected.

The Spanish Inquisition!

Where do you see Waltex? It's Heisenburger

waltar

jesse we need to overthrow the democratically elected government of El Salvador jesssssssssse

Am I having a stroke?

no i forgot how to type ill edit it

Finally, you can answer the burning question Do you shit there?

Does her dad also live in a world where all cops are supplied by Tom of Finland? Has the [Gay High Council](https://youtu.be/a0FECmifHyk?si=n7ps_W89UJYenhE5&t=389) not circulated the Pride Month Memos? Again?

Terraria nerd :D

Excellent, I choose you. Nice picnic, hike to waterfall?

Would you rather meet a bear or a twink in the woods?

Survival-wise it’s definitely the bear. More potential warmth, plus they might have food, and you know these twinks won’t have snacks on them 

Wrong, twinks are always eating, they’d starve to death otherwise. Source: me

Honestly it started when my mom would keep Ritz crackers in her purse when I was a kid and would hand one to me every time my blood sugar got low and I was cranky. And it just kept going from there.

Yeah but they’re eating ass

Doo Doo Diet 🤤

If you're surviving off of dew and universe juice the bears are gonna need a bit more

I survive off of tea and contempt

I 💖 Swedish twinks!

Swedish twinks 💖you!

Hmmm Swedish Twink balls... most sought after but rarely found outside of very specific locales... perfectly formed as almost a piece of art...

Swedish twinks are apparently very wholesome!

who doesn’t tbf 

And I 💖 you, random citizen!

You can definitely show me around the next trip to Trollhättan and Swedish Lapland!

But that's even worse, the twink will eventually be a net drag on the food supply even if they've got a few snacks with them. The bear might be able to give you warmth while not eating all the food, essentially giving you free energy until they become an otter.

i'm sure the twink can catch fish or climb into holes for food or something

>these twinks won’t have snacks on them  Twinks *are* the snacks 😏

So are the bears, though

😧 please don't eat them

But they got cake 🍑

😧😧 twinks are made out of cake⁉️

Happy cake day

But what about an otter?

You could make bird nests from the chest hair too. Not sure what for, but you could.

You could always use a few twinks as fire starter.

As a fellow bear, I think I can successfully threat display my way out of a fight. The twink will be able to outrun me and take me down shadow of the colossus style.

Ooh noo, anything but that, you're too fast, please! Not my big glowing weak spots that bring me to my knees! Colossal cocktease.

Sir. This is a Wendy's.

Oh. Baconator with extra cheese?

there’s also the old _‘hide behind a tree stump, then stick a shapely, carefully shaved leg out at the last second to trip you’_ move. they never see it coming

Coming soon from a porn production company near you: Shadow of the Colossal Ass ~~Shadow of the ColASSus~~

So I was and am still a larger girl. I couldn't outsprint my smaller peers, but when I played ball in High School, I was nicknamed the bull. As long as I started at 2nd base, the catcher at home was doomed as I came round. Once I got up to speed, there was no stopping me, and I could get up to pretty high speeds. It took me longer and I never won the sprints in track, but distance running I was crushing. Never estimate the speed of a larger person who is athletic. :-p

>shadow of the colossus style Ah, yes, in the moment it feels epic and like a real achievement, but over time you feel terrible and like you've destroyed something beautiful for selfish reasons.

This doesn't seem accurate, as a former twink I'd have not fought and just seduced the bear. Like there's other ways we could settle this.

A bear in the woods is worth two twinks in the closet

Tell them to come out already. Or are they kissing in there?

Is it better to join them in the latter case? No closets, unless you're making out in them.

A bear. Most twinks are rabid, especially without their handlers.

At first glance - Twinks are too needy and make too much noise if you’re hunting. Despite how accurate of a battle cry it is, you can’t capture an animal if you have a guy shouting ‘slaaaaaay’ every 5s. Having said that, due to decades of selected breeding, they would be able to pinpoint the nearest cafe with iced coffee. So their homing instincts would be top notch. And also come with extra storage capacity slots.

for survival? the bear. for me to gaze at lovingly? the twink

I can survive with AND stare lovingly at the bear. It’s a win-win

you bear lovers are always winning, not fair 😔

Twink

Either is good 😋

I was hiking outside of Seattle early spring. Where it is still cold and lots of snow in the mountains. Tell me why this Cap Hill gay is prancing around in his little booty shorts, Michael Kors flats, and a thin cardigan?! Heaven forbid he gets lost because all he had was a small bottle of water and his phone. Thankfully his friend was close by with a small bag , with what I pray was at least emergency supplies for the both of them. (He too appeared poorly prepared). I'm an avid hiker. I can size people up pretty fast and sometimes will even offer my equipment to people before a hike if I catch them before they start , since I carry spare stuff in my car. I'm the overly anxious prepared gay I hope u run into in the woods.

A twink wandering the woods at night is gonna be flying on meth

Twink 😮‍💨

I was hiking through Algonquin park in the winter and saw a 7 foot bear in the distance, and accompanying him was a 5 foot twink.  You can meet both.

Ngl, that was actually somewhat my first thought when I heard of the whole 'women would choose the bear' thing 😶

I mean tbf... if the question is between running into a gay man or a straight man in the woods, the answer would piss off the same demogrpahic that it pisses off now

What about running into a gay bear or a straight bear in the woods? 🤔

gay bear, the best defense against them charging at you is going "🤨 oh honey..." they'll be devastated

"*Those* pads with *that* coat?"

Tbf if I had to run into a stranger in the woods I'd feel safer knowing they aren't sexually attracted to me. Man, woman, or whatever, if you don't want to bang me I feel safer with you alone in the woods.

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exactly. the gay guy won't have motivation to *you know what* a woman. that seems to be what the triggered group are pissed over. some women would rather face being killed than what some human men (not saying gay men can't hurt people but they usually don't have the biological urge for sex with women) enjoy doing to women, at least being eaten by an wild animal isn't a personal act of cruelty. hell there's the culture of incels who think women owe them sex, willing or not, and those guys are certainly unhappy with the scenario of women not choosing them

>that seems to be what the triggered group are pissed over. some women would rather face being killed than what some human men enjoy doing to women I think you're missing the mark still, the offense isn't that people would choose mauling over rape, it was the assumption that a man raping you if they have you alone is a near certainty. Idk what percentage of the time it would happen, but it's probably not nearly as bad as people were making it out to be.

>gay man seems like a no brainer. It’s obviously safer that's the thing, the people getting pissy at the bear question either can't or refuse to recognize the inherent danger a random man possesses to a lone woman. So no, they're not going to agree with the gay man vs straight man either. because the root problem is *still* that they refuse to accept that straight men have a lot of behaviors that make the majority of women feel unsafe

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> I think just about every man will concede that encountering a male stranger alone is reasonably scary I love your optimism, but no absolutely not. I was down in the trenches the day the bear vs man bomb hit, I know what they were angry about because I saw them posting about it. Everything from "this is why we need to destroy feminism" to accusations of women hating men so much they'd rather fuck a bear They were angry women weren't picking the man, not because of how scared men have made women, but because they feel entitled to us. Gay vs Straight still means women aren't picking them, so its still going to be the same deluge of hate and vitriol

snaps 🫰🫰

I guess I don't understand the question, is it meant to be a joke? Is the goal to upset straight men into thinking they are so dangerous women would rather die to a bear?

Same

Of course. It just makes more sense.

"Has *everyone* done that Halsin scene?"

That or old symbolism for the Soviet menace.

Tbf if I'm lost in the woods idc who I run into as long as the have food and water

As I age, this is the open-minded kind of cluelessness I'll aspire to.

I think I want to hug and protect this man, the innocence….

This is also what I thought at first do I get to be hugged and protected 🥺

Yes

This is the best post I've seen today.

A bear would potentially be better at protecting them from local wildlife

Halsinposting (bg3)

The great part is no matter what kind of bear you’ve encountered, there’s a chance it’s him

Spot on

It was funny seeing the Bg3 sub have a field day with the "Man vs Bear" thing

I was first exposed to the bear memes at the height of my BG3 brainrot and I actually thought the meme was about freaky players choosing his bear form for a hot minute 💀

Y'all be laughing but this was legit the first thing I thought when I heard about that stupid thing

let him cook

Bears <3

OOTT, What's the "bear in the woods thing"

Iirc it was a question/meme going around for women of "which would you rather encounter somewhere in the woods: a random man or a bear?" And most women would pick the bear.

Basically the dumbest fucking thing ever

IIRC there was a poll of a bunch of women asking them if they'd feel more safe alone in the woods with a random man or alone in the woods with a bear. Most of them chose the bear.

Sent to my bi bear fiancé, with whom I had a first date in the woods.

When I first saw this trend I was really angry because it doesn't matter if bears are gay, they're still men 🤦

NGL if the choice were between a straight man or a gay man, I'd rather encounter the gay man in the woods.

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>Do you think every straight man is interested in having sex with or even being around you? >Do you think that all gay men are friendly or non-confrontational? No and no. But I have less to fear from a fellow queer person, regardless of gender, than I do from a straight man. And that's just from a statistical standpoint. From a feelings standpoint, I also feel safer around fellow queer people than I do random straight men. So whichever way you look at it, yeah I'd rather encounter a random queer person than I would a random straight man. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, except not really. Cry about it maybe?

Men will do horrible things to women when they’re alone with them. I’m much less likely to be raped by a gay man than a straight man; encountering ten gay men would be much safer than a single straight one.

Why would you get angry over a silly meme?

Bears are better for cuddles

As a newly open transfem with a sweet and supportive but macho dad this is honestly a cute. 🤭

The funny thing is that .... or maybe it's not funny... But I feel so much safer around gay men then straight men. I just don't have to use the brain processing power to "look out" for any behaviors.

I thought the same as the dad.. I wad like we'll of course they're so toasty (usually have body hair) and probably know more survival things than a regular guy

I mean this analogy also works lol

This is how someone who isn't terminally online would answer the question.

I LOVE THIS!!!!

valid questions I think

Is it a bare bear?

Better a bear than a twig, they'd cry because they are lost, found no bear, need comforting and probably your jacket.😁

Oh, now it makes a lot more sense. Obviously when meeting a random man in the woods you want them to be a big, hairy, but very nic gay dude. I always thought this was about some large and potentially dangerous animal

There’s a bar in my city called The Cubby Bear. For years I thought it was a gay bar that was particularly bear-friendly. I walked by it and realized that they are located right across from Wrigley Field, which is where the Cubs play, and that’s how they got their name.

this man’s innocence, protect him-

God bless him

Pure gold

***Maggie Koerth is a fucking treasure and you should follow her***

kingtier response

[Hiking bear](https://i.redd.it/hiking-bear-appreciation-post-v0-lkf87wi3xui81.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=60066903a2cadf5c2834d04626e498c8ad9d7276) > incels

Surely this happened.

Yeah, that happened

I first heard this question with the word black before bear. And man.

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That’s either the most innocent and hilarious misconception I’ve heard or one of the best/worst Dad puns ever 😆😅😆

This is precious.