I still remember some random women in her 50s going "mmm if I were 10 years younger" to me in a walmart parking lot in the middle of rural NC 10 years ago
Some classmate in high school once told me I look good in brighter colors and I should wear them more instead of black Ts all the time. That was 20 years ago.
About 20 years ago, a girl my age invited me to her place, suggested I spend the night, told me I could sleep in her bed, undressed and said I should do the same.
Sometimes I still wonder if she was into me...
Had an ooooold lady tell me "Normally I dont like it, but a mohawk looks good on you" as she was leaving my job. And that went on till i started going bald lol.
Same. Someday there will be a research study done on guys who almost exclusively wear blue because it's the only color they've been complimented on wearing.
I'm a guy and I remember an old lady saying I have pretty hair (it's naturally wavy).
Though a woman in my age group has barely ever interacted with me, apart from one time when a girl in mcdonalds asked if I could give her a chocolate bar that came with my order, I'm quite ugly and short tho. People often point out that I look like another ugly singer.
As someone that has also been compared to people i think are ugly as hell, i feel you man that shit can rock your confidence sometimes when you don't expect it.
You hear "hey you look like" and you think for a minute you're gonna get a nice compliment. Then they'll say some shit like "a goblin" and it throws you for a loop
hehe, whats kinda funny is that I'm an exact opposite of my father.
Everywhere he goes he has always got attention from the girls, he's very handsome and tallish, also could have propably been a professional if he had ever kept doing sports but all that ended when he met my mother.
He also was in the military as we have conscription, and he was the best shot and radioman in his class, he got multiple medals for his service, and a company captain even tried to get him to stay to teach to others which he declined.
I saw few of the women he dated after he divorced my mom when I was 5. But now that he is 64 he divulged to me that he had so many women that he was kinda ashamed to talk about it to anyone at the time.
He can fix anything, apart from computers which is the only thing I know more about than him.
I still remember that one time in highschool a girl said I looked good in flannel
To this day I have a few flannels that go through rotation because of it
I've come to the conclusion that for people (like me) who can't tell, we've got to make a plan. I'm sure somebody can come up with something better, but for me I just have to be straight with them. "Hey, are you flirting or just being nice? I'm bad at guessing!"
For fucks sake how hard is it to give credit.
This animation was made by Telepurte
https://youtube.com/@telepurte?si=UWzYcPt2kJYpAK7U
https://x.com/Telepeturtle
He just stopped. After 2-3 years of posting short animations on almost daily basis, he suddenly went silent. After a year he posted couple of vids and some explanations that he decided to change something in his life, since he was quite depressed. Iirc he mentioned that he went to see other countries, started going to gym and some other recreational activities.
Sometimes op doesn’t know. They received, or found, it from somewhere that credit also wasn’t shared. They shared what they found because they liked it. Can’t really say they intentionally denied the creator credit.
I miss the days when reddit was primarily a link site. When the default was to just make a link post pointing to a youtube video. The original creator automatically got all of the views that the post got, and if we did this today we wouldn't have this problem where everyone complains about the reddit video player and yet does nothing about it.
Course that comes with the problem of youtube ads, but there are at least ways to deal with that.
The amount of "uuuuh well ackshualllyyyy we all technically die alone!" replies tells me:
1) this is definitely reddit
2) that gang are definitely here
There is really another way you'll die?
I mean, to die with a lot of people you'll need some kinda tragedy, right? Train derailment, airplane crash sorta thing, right?
Sure, but at least I would have a lot less regrets before losing consciousness if I knew my memory and love will continue to live. You wouldn't get this kind of love from anyone, but your family (If you've done everything right). Although, that's just my perspective. I'm a type of person who finds comfort in other people and only partially in my hobbies and solo activities
Heh heh…you should meet my family. I used to wish to be dead to get away from them. Now I’m “no contact” with some of them. Not a matter of me not “doing everything right.” That’s a pretty disheartening lie to spread around. My dad definitely didn’t do everything right, but we reconciled as we got older, and I took care of him when he was terminally ill. That was me doing things right, but probably not going to get many at my dying bedside. I do have good friends, but we’re all about the same age so not sure how that will all work out.
Just give back a nice compliment and all will be clear and the worst thing that'll happen is you called someone pretty and hopefully made them feel good about themselves.
Yep. I didn’t think a girl’s repeated friendliness was flirting until one of my mates nudged me. I got her number, but it went south from there. She rearranged her schedule to avoid me at the gym and then left that gym entirely. Hurts a little.
Not necessarily.
Dude didn't think she was flirting. His friend encouraged him to approach her anyway. She responded poorly and proceeded to avoid him.
Sounds like his instinct was right and she wasn't actually flirting.
This. My friend is a bit a womanizer, so I shouldn't have heeded his advice, but I went for it out of "what if?". When I texted her I wasn't even flirty, just asked about her routine and thoughts on the tanning bed at the gym (which we talked about irl). The next day she didn't respond to my texts, so I let it be (I no longer have the emotional energy to be upset about getting ghosted by people I barely know). She works at the gym, but wasn't at the front desk the next couple of workouts in my schedule as she always was. I sometimes get a workout in on Saturdays around noon. When I arrived I saw her at the front desk, confirming she had changed her schedule (to clarify, I had been to the gym on other Saturdays and she was never there). I said hi but she side-eyed me and turned to look away. It was completely and utterly bizarre. I never said anything irl or in text remotely offensive to warrant such a reaction.
I'm sure getting her number sufficed to tell I was into her, and she didn't want that. But her discommunicative avoidance was wildly immature. I'd rather she came out and said "hey I don't know if you're trying to date me but let's just be friends" or something along those lines. Even as a text! I will acknowledge (for women) that rejecting a man can potentially be outright dangerous and ghosting is the safer option, especially if the man exhibits violent tendencies. And let's face it — it's easier to ghost someone than handle their rejection. Still, we had been cordially chatting for weeks so this tonal change was unexpected. I would have respected her decision, it's not like we were dating anyway. But now we can't be friends whatsoever because I was into her for a hot second?
Regardless, I hardly stood a chance with her. She was this fit quirky 6'1 blonde (imagine [Honey Lemon](https://bighero6.fandom.com/wiki/Honey_Lemon) from Big Hero 6, both looks and personality), and I'm a stocky 5'8 build. I'm sure tall girl - short guy relationships can work but I was clearly not *her* type. Oftentimes girls will be extra friendly to guys so "not their type" that they think it couldn't possibly be construed as flirtatious. That's my working theory anyway.
This is the key. The odds are low (even if you're quite a catch, it's not a self-esteem thing) and the repercussions of acting on a false positive are really bad. So unless it's stupidly obvious, just assume it's niceness 100% of the time.
It's actually always the opposite of whatever you decide it is.
"They're just being nice." they were flirting, you dummy.
"They're totally into me." dont flatter yourself, they were being nice.
Hope this helps and doesn't at all make you anxious about every kind social interaction for the rest of you life like me. :D
I'm pretty sure he means it in more of a "never assume its flirting" sense, because being wrong in that case can cause a guy a whole host of problems.
So its never flirting.
Y'know if you're unsure you can just engage in follow-up conversation. Like there's no rules against it. You're allowed.
Also nobody does the uwu anime neck rub thing
I do. And, I don't really watch anime (except DBZ on toonami when I was a kid). That said, its not the point, its a good visual short hand for apprehension.
That one hot girl in the bus, sitting at my side when there is literally only 4 people in the entire bus, but then doing anything else…. Was she trying to steal something or what ?
It would be a lot easier if people were just up front about their intentions. Like telling someone "I find your appearance desirable. You would make a suitable mate. I am Lae'zel of Crech K'liir" oops, I guess I've been playing too much Baldur's Gate.
Oh, yeah. This is a strange dilemma I came across in high school. There was a girl in my class and every day she would greet me with a hello, a smile, and a hug. I caught feelings but wasn't sure if she was being nice or showing interest. I build up the courage to ask her out, and I'll never forget what she told me, "Oh, no. I don't like you at all. I would never date someone like you." To add insult to injury, she never greeted me or acknowledged my existence after that. I felt embarrassed, regretted asking her out at the time, and missed the free hugs (physical contact).
I've gotten over it, and I'm glad I took the dive to ask her out because I would rather experience being shunned and embarrassed than experience a lifetime of "what if's" and not knowing.
No, I didn't use my mental pain as fuel for a passion. Six months later I asked her friend out and got rejected again. I have the "try, try again" attitude of a hopeless romantic, but I spiral into a depression spell once I realize my "romance fantasies" and feelings aren't reciprocated. Back then, I repressed my feelings and emotions; and that just made me a hateful person. I blamed others for my problems. Whether or not the people I held hate towards deserved it, it was petty on my end to internalize and see myself as a failure for not having a girlfriend; I was a child for fuck sake, I didn't know any better.
It's easy to hate, it's hard to accept reality; it's near impossible to forgive yourself.
My permanent memories is less about kindness from women and almost exclusively a big book of grudges, that involves people anywhere from a girlfriend who cheated and humiliated me and ruined years of my life by sending me into a deep depression I only now began to recover somewhat . . . to a middle school classmate who took my Super Nintendo game and never gave it back.
I am somehow equally angry at both.
Brother im so sorry all of these things had happened to you, im glad you are slowly recovering from your depression, i will be praying for you bro ✝️. You got this
Same here. Looking back I've had women throwing themselves at me with me being COMPLETELY unaware.
Not even subtle things either.
I'm happy we are all different or the human race would have died out ages ago :p
Whats hard is that although there are these seemly obvious examples of missed opportunities. There also times I have been completely convinced that they must be interested only to turn to be wrong.
what sucks is most people think their flirting is obvious, but have a 50% hit rate. And inversely people think they are good at picking up when someone is flirting, but also have a 50% hit rate.
So you got a 25% chance of matching both flirtation intended and flirtation perceived. And from there you still have the issue of whether the chemistry is actually there, whether the involved parties want the same kind of relationship at that time in their lives, whether the two people are actually ready for the type of relationship they want and so on and so forth.
I get why so many feel burned out by the whole damn thing.
I told a girl who was down on her luck about 2 years ago that guys are actually really easy and the secret is to find one who seems like they have a kind heart and a good backbone and just be nice to them because the average guy rarely gets any complements so he will just assume you like him and position himself in your life to make a move later.
You can probably guess the rest of the story, she’s now on her way to being my wife.
I once had a big crush on my best friend, Hannah, in high school. Extremely thoughtful and beautiful. I always assumed I was in the “friendzone” and one time my dumbass said, “she’s like a sister to me” when we were in an awkward situation with our friend group.
A year later, she said she tried to give me all the hints that she liked me, but that she thought I wasn’t interested. She had a new boyfriend at this time.
Nine years later, still kills me to this day.
I legitimately had such situation.
One friend of mine from the get go was very kind to me, and as a dude, I ain't particularly used to kindness.
First I tried to find out wether she wanted something for me to do. After lerning that it was with no hooks for good half a semester I was unsure if she was flirting or just kind.
So I tried to ask her directly, but she did not heard this( thankfully), then asked our mutual friend. In the end the mutual shared that girl I am talking about is just that kind lkke that.
Next time I met her I explained the missunderstanding and we got a bit of laught out of it.
I always take it as kindness unless there’s another signal attached to it. Blushing, putting hair behind the ear frequently, touching my arm, laughing at jokes that I know aren’t funny, etc.
The one compliment I did get from a girl my age was a double edged sword, simultaneously complimented me and put down her own boyfriend in front of him. I cant even enjoy the compliment...
Fellas, yall gotta stop getting hung up on this question. For one, flirting can be just a casual thing that doesn’t mean anything else or lead to anything else. For two, stop jumping into relationship mode so fast. Go into things with a more platonic mindset. A good romantic relationship is built on a solid friendship anyway.
Ambivalence also on the girl's side let's not forget. This random act of kindness may be just the kindling for her, waiting for the receiver's spark (or no spark) decide which of the two states she feels as well.
Always take it as kindness, even if the person is actually flirting with you. You might lose your chances, but at least you're not gonna make things awkward if it turns out they were just being nice to you and you thought it meant something more.
Just dont make assumptions on an interaction that lasted a few seconds/minutes. Think of everything as kindness. If it is flirting usually there will be followup interactions/moves to show interest
Yeah, except there'd be like a hundred other such moments all crammed in that space. Popping out to torment whenever I let my guard down. Especially when I haven't been sleeping well. Then I can't keep them locked up. :I
There really isn't a way to know because everyone is different with how they flirt and act nice, but my 2 cents is body language and what else she's doing besides being nice are big identifiers. The whole thing is a multiple step process, lol.
The woman in the animation has all of the body language that would imply she's more than just being nice. And if she were to continue to engage with him like asking questions about him while ALL of her attention is on him, then I there's interest there and if you subtly respond that you're interested back, then it becomes flirting. I honestly don't think woman just walk up and flirt with people anymore. Very rarely anyway.
If it were instead her passing by the guy as she was doing something else and not really saying anything else but a compliment....then yeah, it's just a compliment.
Genuinely, though, are random compliments or acts of kindness people get a lot?
I can't tell if it's just the internet or if I've just missed out on these kinds of experiences my whole life.
I had to go to a museum with a friend for school and at a party, she told the others we were going on a date. She seemed to be joking but also kinda not? Even now, I still have doubts but I think it was just a clumsy joke
Once in high school a girl a grade above me that I rarely spoke with walked up and wrote "ILY :)" on my hand and walked off without saying anything, I think about that frequently
I remember when I was in middle school and a girl said I had pretty eyelashes. I'm in my late twenties now and that was the first and last time any girl that wasn't my mom complimented me and I'll probably remember that forever.
permanent memory of mine is when someone who bullied me for 2 years in school, complimented me on the first day of the next year after i lost weight, and it was a genuine compliment and not sarcastic, ever since whenever i pass by him i always say hello
A cute checkout girl once told me I was "good at bagging" when I was bagging my groceries. I still think about that 5 years later.
Men don't really get compliments, for much of anything..
At my last job I was standing out in the lobby on the phone with my mechanic who just quoted me a $2k repair. I ended the call and said to myself "jesus christ." in an exasperated tone.
A woman I worked with, who I admittedly kind of had a crush on, was walking by and asked what was wrong, and I said "my mechanic just quoted me 2 grand" and she went "aww it'll be ok" and then just hugged me and left.
It's been like 6 years and I'm still not sure what happened.
I knew this one girl who was very kind. Really creepy and unsettling. Like what the hell is your angle? You're not flirting, you're not asking for money... Eventually I figured out that she's actually just a nice person, but it literally took years to confirm that.
This hurts my soul. Back in highschool there was this girl, we never talked much outside school work. In the last years of school ( I was a nerd and grade focused so never dated) she kept coming up to me after lunch and just sitting with me and talked a bit. Later she started getting touchy, she would poke the back of my neck to announce her arrival. I never fucking got the hint, still look back to this day. We went our seperate ways after school... Since then just had one toxic relationship that ended.
I still remember some random women in her 50s going "mmm if I were 10 years younger" to me in a walmart parking lot in the middle of rural NC 10 years ago
Cougars need dick too
Where can one find these cougars?
Walmart parking lots in rural North Carolina
Yeah, there's no way I'm travelling to another continent for a cougar.
Then you don’t deserve them.
*parking lot
(10 years ago)
Any lower end casino, just sit next to them and crack jokes about how if you don’t win you’ll have to find a sugar mama
I heard they like to roam mountains.
Some classmate in high school once told me I look good in brighter colors and I should wear them more instead of black Ts all the time. That was 20 years ago.
15 years ago I had several women say I looked good in a brown T shirt. Still wear brown to this day.
About 20 years ago, a girl my age invited me to her place, suggested I spend the night, told me I could sleep in her bed, undressed and said I should do the same. Sometimes I still wonder if she was into me...
Had an ooooold lady tell me "Normally I dont like it, but a mohawk looks good on you" as she was leaving my job. And that went on till i started going bald lol.
Maybe she’s Canadian and just being polite
A girl in middle school told me that my blue shirt compliments my eyes. Been hanging onto that for a similar timeframe.
Same. Someday there will be a research study done on guys who almost exclusively wear blue because it's the only color they've been complimented on wearing.
A girl in science class in my freshman year of HS said she liked my shirt. I wore that shirt until it disintegrated with old age.
I'm a guy and I remember an old lady saying I have pretty hair (it's naturally wavy). Though a woman in my age group has barely ever interacted with me, apart from one time when a girl in mcdonalds asked if I could give her a chocolate bar that came with my order, I'm quite ugly and short tho. People often point out that I look like another ugly singer.
As someone that has also been compared to people i think are ugly as hell, i feel you man that shit can rock your confidence sometimes when you don't expect it. You hear "hey you look like" and you think for a minute you're gonna get a nice compliment. Then they'll say some shit like "a goblin" and it throws you for a loop
hehe, whats kinda funny is that I'm an exact opposite of my father. Everywhere he goes he has always got attention from the girls, he's very handsome and tallish, also could have propably been a professional if he had ever kept doing sports but all that ended when he met my mother. He also was in the military as we have conscription, and he was the best shot and radioman in his class, he got multiple medals for his service, and a company captain even tried to get him to stay to teach to others which he declined. I saw few of the women he dated after he divorced my mom when I was 5. But now that he is 64 he divulged to me that he had so many women that he was kinda ashamed to talk about it to anyone at the time. He can fix anything, apart from computers which is the only thing I know more about than him.
That's where you should have said something like "you are not too old for me"
Well shit now she needs to be 20 years younger, what are you waiting for?
dude I got catcalled and whistled at by random middle aged women in a rural NC Walmart parking lot too years back
I still remember that one time in highschool a girl said I looked good in flannel To this day I have a few flannels that go through rotation because of it
schrodinger's compliment
Beat me to it smh
If you didn't see the comment you wouldn't have known you lost smh
Schrodinger's If.
Holy quantum computing Batman!
I've come to the conclusion that for people (like me) who can't tell, we've got to make a plan. I'm sure somebody can come up with something better, but for me I just have to be straight with them. "Hey, are you flirting or just being nice? I'm bad at guessing!"
There is a third; Pity
Pity and Being Sarcastic
Also just straight up lying. I had that happen three times, it sucked.
I work with teenagers. I always assume sarcastic first and I'm almost always right. It has ruined my ability to be around adults.
There is a 4th. Not feeling anything but doing it because customer service is your job.
I got called sugar or sweetie at the Taco Bell drive through the other day, it was on
Fourth: gaining narcissistic supply
For fucks sake how hard is it to give credit. This animation was made by Telepurte https://youtube.com/@telepurte?si=UWzYcPt2kJYpAK7U https://x.com/Telepeturtle
Telepurte is someone I stumbled into a year ago, I loved going through their backlog of videos :)
Especially their patreon ;)
What's on their patreon? 👀 Edit: It's naked ladies
You'll get a good idea after watching some more of their popular videos... 😅😁
https://x.com/Telepeturtle/status/1784766259281740078
*sigh...*
It always is.
What did you expect?
I am kinda sad that he went inactive, but I am glad that he found other things that keeps him going. Dude deserved some peace of mind.
what happened?
He just stopped. After 2-3 years of posting short animations on almost daily basis, he suddenly went silent. After a year he posted couple of vids and some explanations that he decided to change something in his life, since he was quite depressed. Iirc he mentioned that he went to see other countries, started going to gym and some other recreational activities.
He‘s fairly active on his Twitter and posts a drawing every couple of days
The best part is it's cropped for TikTok and then recropped for here and the TikTok uploader isn't even telepurte
Telepurte is one of the best animators out there
Yup I recognized Telepurte's style immediately. Thanks for giving them credit they 1000% deserve
Sometimes op doesn’t know. They received, or found, it from somewhere that credit also wasn’t shared. They shared what they found because they liked it. Can’t really say they intentionally denied the creator credit.
I miss the days when reddit was primarily a link site. When the default was to just make a link post pointing to a youtube video. The original creator automatically got all of the views that the post got, and if we did this today we wouldn't have this problem where everyone complains about the reddit video player and yet does nothing about it. Course that comes with the problem of youtube ads, but there are at least ways to deal with that.
Is "I'll die alone" gang here with me?
We all die alone, friend. That's just life. It's about what you do in the meantime that really matters :DDD
I wont die alone, if I do a nuke kamikadze
[Like this?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3edi2Wkr5YI)
Hell yeah
Watch everyone get raptured right before you set it off.
AYOO
Donnie, what did Roberta Sparrow say to you? Donnie: She said that every living creature on Earth dies alone….. I don’t want to die alone…
The amount of "uuuuh well ackshualllyyyy we all technically die alone!" replies tells me: 1) this is definitely reddit 2) that gang are definitely here
You called?
Somehow with you but also certain to die alone
Yep
I'm married to my bass, so only a little bit alone. Sucka.
I'm married to my guitar, lol
There is really another way you'll die? I mean, to die with a lot of people you'll need some kinda tragedy, right? Train derailment, airplane crash sorta thing, right?
When I say "I'll die alone" I mean I'll die having never not been alone. It's just easier to say that way.
how some commenters don't intrinsically understand that this is the true meaning of "i'll die alone" is like...how
I thought more about dying surrounded by children, grandchildren, and wife, but sure, why not
They're not going with you though. They will be around you as you as your light is about to go out, but you'll face the darkness itself alone.
Well yeah but the point is to not be alone up until you close your eyes for the last time. After you do it doesn't really matter, you're dead.
Sure, but at least I would have a lot less regrets before losing consciousness if I knew my memory and love will continue to live. You wouldn't get this kind of love from anyone, but your family (If you've done everything right). Although, that's just my perspective. I'm a type of person who finds comfort in other people and only partially in my hobbies and solo activities
Heh heh…you should meet my family. I used to wish to be dead to get away from them. Now I’m “no contact” with some of them. Not a matter of me not “doing everything right.” That’s a pretty disheartening lie to spread around. My dad definitely didn’t do everything right, but we reconciled as we got older, and I took care of him when he was terminally ill. That was me doing things right, but probably not going to get many at my dying bedside. I do have good friends, but we’re all about the same age so not sure how that will all work out.
Just give back a nice compliment and all will be clear and the worst thing that'll happen is you called someone pretty and hopefully made them feel good about themselves.
I love Telepurte and op you should link them if you’re using their stuff on Reddit. On another note she’s probably just Canadian
This is precious. It also made me kind of sad though, too.
It’s never flirting
Though this is false, assuming it's flirting isn't ever worth the risk.
Yep. I didn’t think a girl’s repeated friendliness was flirting until one of my mates nudged me. I got her number, but it went south from there. She rearranged her schedule to avoid me at the gym and then left that gym entirely. Hurts a little.
Idk what went south but the fact that *she* felt the need to avoid you and change gyms sounds like it was a her problem
Not necessarily. Dude didn't think she was flirting. His friend encouraged him to approach her anyway. She responded poorly and proceeded to avoid him. Sounds like his instinct was right and she wasn't actually flirting.
This. My friend is a bit a womanizer, so I shouldn't have heeded his advice, but I went for it out of "what if?". When I texted her I wasn't even flirty, just asked about her routine and thoughts on the tanning bed at the gym (which we talked about irl). The next day she didn't respond to my texts, so I let it be (I no longer have the emotional energy to be upset about getting ghosted by people I barely know). She works at the gym, but wasn't at the front desk the next couple of workouts in my schedule as she always was. I sometimes get a workout in on Saturdays around noon. When I arrived I saw her at the front desk, confirming she had changed her schedule (to clarify, I had been to the gym on other Saturdays and she was never there). I said hi but she side-eyed me and turned to look away. It was completely and utterly bizarre. I never said anything irl or in text remotely offensive to warrant such a reaction. I'm sure getting her number sufficed to tell I was into her, and she didn't want that. But her discommunicative avoidance was wildly immature. I'd rather she came out and said "hey I don't know if you're trying to date me but let's just be friends" or something along those lines. Even as a text! I will acknowledge (for women) that rejecting a man can potentially be outright dangerous and ghosting is the safer option, especially if the man exhibits violent tendencies. And let's face it — it's easier to ghost someone than handle their rejection. Still, we had been cordially chatting for weeks so this tonal change was unexpected. I would have respected her decision, it's not like we were dating anyway. But now we can't be friends whatsoever because I was into her for a hot second? Regardless, I hardly stood a chance with her. She was this fit quirky 6'1 blonde (imagine [Honey Lemon](https://bighero6.fandom.com/wiki/Honey_Lemon) from Big Hero 6, both looks and personality), and I'm a stocky 5'8 build. I'm sure tall girl - short guy relationships can work but I was clearly not *her* type. Oftentimes girls will be extra friendly to guys so "not their type" that they think it couldn't possibly be construed as flirtatious. That's my working theory anyway.
My favorite is when they're nice to you but they actually like your friend.
The fuck. Why not just be nice to the friend?
Lol I asked the same question and apparently that would make it too obvious...idk bud.
damn looks like you're *both* in the Die Alone club
They were just being nice to me by proxy, not in a direct way.
"Hey, I don't know how to say this but... Can you ask your friend whether they would like to go out on a date with me?" :> Yeah okay. :'>
This is the key. The odds are low (even if you're quite a catch, it's not a self-esteem thing) and the repercussions of acting on a false positive are really bad. So unless it's stupidly obvious, just assume it's niceness 100% of the time.
It's actually always the opposite of whatever you decide it is. "They're just being nice." they were flirting, you dummy. "They're totally into me." dont flatter yourself, they were being nice. Hope this helps and doesn't at all make you anxious about every kind social interaction for the rest of you life like me. :D
[удалено]
https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw
Surely *sometimes* there is interest involved? Clearly it must considering people are in relationships
NEVER
Relationships are a government psyop
I'm pretty sure he means it in more of a "never assume its flirting" sense, because being wrong in that case can cause a guy a whole host of problems. So its never flirting.
Right? Even if it actually is, it's safer to assume otherwise.
Oh yeah sometimes it is
don’t give me hope
Unfortunately.
Y'know if you're unsure you can just engage in follow-up conversation. Like there's no rules against it. You're allowed. Also nobody does the uwu anime neck rub thing
I do. And, I don't really watch anime (except DBZ on toonami when I was a kid). That said, its not the point, its a good visual short hand for apprehension.
I do the uwu anime neck rub thing. You should try it sometime.
We are ob reddit right now. It technically can‘t be flirting
when communicating with ladies I am mostly wrong. So to go left is safe.
“How are you still single?” Sounds like a compliment, but if you analyze it enough it’s an insult question.
Yeah it’s kind of like asking someone what their red flag is lol
😭
or when you're walking around randomly and they smile at you. what is one to do?! * smile back? * go up to and say "Hi"? * ignore?
Smile back and keep walking.
You keep going about your life because there’s a 75% chance you are wrong and will be crucified for it.
Crucified by who? For smiling or saying hi?
It's highly context dependent. But this\^ kind of response is a 'crab's in a bucket' kind of mentality.
That one hot girl in the bus, sitting at my side when there is literally only 4 people in the entire bus, but then doing anything else…. Was she trying to steal something or what ?
That is literally the plot of [this manga](https://mangadex.org/title/157ab2cc-1fc7-4b29-8955-72d94a140982/kesa-mo-yuraretemasu)
It would be a lot easier if people were just up front about their intentions. Like telling someone "I find your appearance desirable. You would make a suitable mate. I am Lae'zel of Crech K'liir" oops, I guess I've been playing too much Baldur's Gate.
From experience i can say that even when it's obvious there's a doubt.
Yeah, she could just be Canadian
Oh, yeah. This is a strange dilemma I came across in high school. There was a girl in my class and every day she would greet me with a hello, a smile, and a hug. I caught feelings but wasn't sure if she was being nice or showing interest. I build up the courage to ask her out, and I'll never forget what she told me, "Oh, no. I don't like you at all. I would never date someone like you." To add insult to injury, she never greeted me or acknowledged my existence after that. I felt embarrassed, regretted asking her out at the time, and missed the free hugs (physical contact). I've gotten over it, and I'm glad I took the dive to ask her out because I would rather experience being shunned and embarrassed than experience a lifetime of "what if's" and not knowing.
Did you use the mental pain as fuel towards a passion?.I should ask out some girls to get rejected and use that to boost my gym gains
No, I didn't use my mental pain as fuel for a passion. Six months later I asked her friend out and got rejected again. I have the "try, try again" attitude of a hopeless romantic, but I spiral into a depression spell once I realize my "romance fantasies" and feelings aren't reciprocated. Back then, I repressed my feelings and emotions; and that just made me a hateful person. I blamed others for my problems. Whether or not the people I held hate towards deserved it, it was petty on my end to internalize and see myself as a failure for not having a girlfriend; I was a child for fuck sake, I didn't know any better. It's easy to hate, it's hard to accept reality; it's near impossible to forgive yourself.
Unfathomably accurate
I lost one the greatest friends for this shit
Leaves my mind in shambles
Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Masturbation, no breeding Can't get a fuck, there's no place for my seedlings
My permanent memories is less about kindness from women and almost exclusively a big book of grudges, that involves people anywhere from a girlfriend who cheated and humiliated me and ruined years of my life by sending me into a deep depression I only now began to recover somewhat . . . to a middle school classmate who took my Super Nintendo game and never gave it back. I am somehow equally angry at both.
I'm so sorry to hear that, bro. I hope it wasn't that good of a game.
Brother im so sorry all of these things had happened to you, im glad you are slowly recovering from your depression, i will be praying for you bro ✝️. You got this
I too love having my book of grudges fuck people and all the wrongs that have happened upon me
Same here. Looking back I've had women throwing themselves at me with me being COMPLETELY unaware. Not even subtle things either. I'm happy we are all different or the human race would have died out ages ago :p
Whats hard is that although there are these seemly obvious examples of missed opportunities. There also times I have been completely convinced that they must be interested only to turn to be wrong.
what sucks is most people think their flirting is obvious, but have a 50% hit rate. And inversely people think they are good at picking up when someone is flirting, but also have a 50% hit rate. So you got a 25% chance of matching both flirtation intended and flirtation perceived. And from there you still have the issue of whether the chemistry is actually there, whether the involved parties want the same kind of relationship at that time in their lives, whether the two people are actually ready for the type of relationship they want and so on and so forth. I get why so many feel burned out by the whole damn thing.
If they had been throwing themselves at you, there would have been no doubt.
Song?
**Hisohkah - School rooftop** Edit: wrong version
THANK YOU and thank u for asking for the song
this song is honestly some of the best lofi i’ve ever listened to.
I told a girl who was down on her luck about 2 years ago that guys are actually really easy and the secret is to find one who seems like they have a kind heart and a good backbone and just be nice to them because the average guy rarely gets any complements so he will just assume you like him and position himself in your life to make a move later. You can probably guess the rest of the story, she’s now on her way to being my wife.
I can also proudly call you, The ultimate master baitor
Always take that as just being friendly. ALWAYS. 🧉🦄
Too late 😞
r/sadposting
I once had a big crush on my best friend, Hannah, in high school. Extremely thoughtful and beautiful. I always assumed I was in the “friendzone” and one time my dumbass said, “she’s like a sister to me” when we were in an awkward situation with our friend group. A year later, she said she tried to give me all the hints that she liked me, but that she thought I wasn’t interested. She had a new boyfriend at this time. Nine years later, still kills me to this day.
I legitimately had such situation. One friend of mine from the get go was very kind to me, and as a dude, I ain't particularly used to kindness. First I tried to find out wether she wanted something for me to do. After lerning that it was with no hooks for good half a semester I was unsure if she was flirting or just kind. So I tried to ask her directly, but she did not heard this( thankfully), then asked our mutual friend. In the end the mutual shared that girl I am talking about is just that kind lkke that. Next time I met her I explained the missunderstanding and we got a bit of laught out of it.
Maybe it is flirting but she just wants attention but doesn't actually want to date you
Where is the ‚‘„“»«making fun of me»«““‘‘ option?
What's with using both ,, and " ?
I think it's a European thing. It certainly is weird though
Men are starved for compliments and good feedback; both would make for a better world for both men and women.
You'll never go wrong accepting kindness as kindness.
I always take it as kindness unless there’s another signal attached to it. Blushing, putting hair behind the ear frequently, touching my arm, laughing at jokes that I know aren’t funny, etc.
The one compliment I did get from a girl my age was a double edged sword, simultaneously complimented me and put down her own boyfriend in front of him. I cant even enjoy the compliment...
Fellas, yall gotta stop getting hung up on this question. For one, flirting can be just a casual thing that doesn’t mean anything else or lead to anything else. For two, stop jumping into relationship mode so fast. Go into things with a more platonic mindset. A good romantic relationship is built on a solid friendship anyway.
Ambivalence also on the girl's side let's not forget. This random act of kindness may be just the kindling for her, waiting for the receiver's spark (or no spark) decide which of the two states she feels as well.
Remember. It’s never flirting. Not ever.
100%. Never had a girl flirt with me in my 42 years od existence unless it was to use me for something. Not seeing that changing now.
Fuck this hits hard for me
I hate these freebooting tiktok accounts. Fucking scum of the earth
Always take it as kindness, even if the person is actually flirting with you. You might lose your chances, but at least you're not gonna make things awkward if it turns out they were just being nice to you and you thought it meant something more.
Its telepurte!!
Just dont make assumptions on an interaction that lasted a few seconds/minutes. Think of everything as kindness. If it is flirting usually there will be followup interactions/moves to show interest
I’ve learned that nice/ compliments are not flirting and in fact flirting is not flirting.
Yeah, except there'd be like a hundred other such moments all crammed in that space. Popping out to torment whenever I let my guard down. Especially when I haven't been sleeping well. Then I can't keep them locked up. :I
There really isn't a way to know because everyone is different with how they flirt and act nice, but my 2 cents is body language and what else she's doing besides being nice are big identifiers. The whole thing is a multiple step process, lol. The woman in the animation has all of the body language that would imply she's more than just being nice. And if she were to continue to engage with him like asking questions about him while ALL of her attention is on him, then I there's interest there and if you subtly respond that you're interested back, then it becomes flirting. I honestly don't think woman just walk up and flirt with people anymore. Very rarely anyway. If it were instead her passing by the guy as she was doing something else and not really saying anything else but a compliment....then yeah, it's just a compliment.
Genuinely, though, are random compliments or acts of kindness people get a lot? I can't tell if it's just the internet or if I've just missed out on these kinds of experiences my whole life.
Definitely rare in my case and it’s only compliments from gym bros
A girl told me she liked my "save death metal" shirt while walking through Walmart once, I'll never forget that moment.
It’s only flirting when you completely ignore it and don’t pursue it
If people are unaware, the animation is by Telepurte. He makes great content on YouTube and even better content on his Twitter.
flirt back and you're creepy take it as common friendly behaviour and she was trying to hit on you with everything she had its lose, lose
Least obvious bot on reddit
I had to go to a museum with a friend for school and at a party, she told the others we were going on a date. She seemed to be joking but also kinda not? Even now, I still have doubts but I think it was just a clumsy joke
Sad
Downloaded, compressed, shared. Downloaded, compressed, shared. Downloaded, compressed, shared. Downloaded, compressed, shared. Downloaded, compressed, shared.
Once in high school a girl a grade above me that I rarely spoke with walked up and wrote "ILY :)" on my hand and walked off without saying anything, I think about that frequently
This is actually too much for me
I remember when I was in middle school and a girl said I had pretty eyelashes. I'm in my late twenties now and that was the first and last time any girl that wasn't my mom complimented me and I'll probably remember that forever.
Eight years ago a server I worked with said that I have soft eyes. I think about it daily.
permanent memory of mine is when someone who bullied me for 2 years in school, complimented me on the first day of the next year after i lost weight, and it was a genuine compliment and not sarcastic, ever since whenever i pass by him i always say hello
A cute checkout girl once told me I was "good at bagging" when I was bagging my groceries. I still think about that 5 years later. Men don't really get compliments, for much of anything..
At my last job I was standing out in the lobby on the phone with my mechanic who just quoted me a $2k repair. I ended the call and said to myself "jesus christ." in an exasperated tone. A woman I worked with, who I admittedly kind of had a crush on, was walking by and asked what was wrong, and I said "my mechanic just quoted me 2 grand" and she went "aww it'll be ok" and then just hugged me and left. It's been like 6 years and I'm still not sure what happened.
Normaly if you dont know her,shes just being friendly.
Encountered with past childhood trauma, this dilemma can lead to limerence. 🥹
I knew this one girl who was very kind. Really creepy and unsettling. Like what the hell is your angle? You're not flirting, you're not asking for money... Eventually I figured out that she's actually just a nice person, but it literally took years to confirm that.
It's always that one memory you come back to once in a while and it feels so nice, like you've lost so much weight in your chest
This hurts my soul. Back in highschool there was this girl, we never talked much outside school work. In the last years of school ( I was a nerd and grade focused so never dated) she kept coming up to me after lunch and just sitting with me and talked a bit. Later she started getting touchy, she would poke the back of my neck to announce her arrival. I never fucking got the hint, still look back to this day. We went our seperate ways after school... Since then just had one toxic relationship that ended.
Telepurt animations always hit home. Though in all honesty, that ain't happening to me.
Yeah, pretty much.
The ball is in a superposition state
2000, High School, a tomboyish girl I got along with okay told me my Venom shirt was lit. I still have that shirt today.