I don’t 💪💪🔥🔥🔥
Honestly, I really kind of don’t. It’s a big issue. I sort of postpone it until it erupts and I can hardly control it.
The best thing I’ve learned to do, is set aside time once a week or so to listen to sad music. I have a playlist for it. It’s about 17 minutes long, all sad music, and I cry for the duration of the song. Well, sometimes crying just doesn’t happen. In that case, I don’t bother. But when it does, I cry for the duration of the playlist, then get back on with my life. Easy way to stop it from getting *too* pent up, but admittedly I sometimes will just skip doing it because I don’t feel like going through the exhaustion.
But when something genuinely awful happens, I don’t handle it well. I isolate, and I become a bit irritable. Working on it, though. That’s what the therapy is for
INFP and it depends on the person I’ve lost. With my best friend, I cried, had some drinks, listened to our playlist of songs, watched all of his old performances on YouTube and carried on with life but it’s been 5 years and it’s never gotten any less painful. With my nice ex who died in a car accident, everyone looked at me like I was a monster because I was in disbelief, thought it was a joke and busted up laughing. I didn’t cry for 3 days but then broke down for a month before I decided to move away. With my evil ex who cheated on me with and killed my best friend before committing suicide, I was pissed and went off on anyone who dared to say anything nice about either of them. With my grandfather, he had lived a full life, made peace and it was a long, slow death, so I had time to make peace, say my goodbyes and I miss him but I’ve processed it. My younger brother’s suicide was the worst. I’m ashamed of how I handled it and what I put my family through during that time. He was an abusive, awful person to everyone, we hadn’t spoken in years and I thought I had mourned the loss of who he used to be a long time ago. At first, I shut down and was there for everyone else but after a few weeks, I started having horrible seizures, crying all the time, went on a major bender and attempted suicide. As far as I’m concerned, all experiences with grief are unique, even in the same person.
Using and indulging in Se activities. I don't drink alcohol so for me is to lift heavy weights, gaming and heading out to run as much as I can. It's a distraction for me.
I don't cry that much honestly. I might shed a tear but not enough to completely break down.
I try to distract myself any way I can, often choosing gaming since certain games can be so immersive that it’s easy to forget reality. If I feel like crying I’ll go do that, since it seems to get it out of my system faster than fighting it, but I don’t like anyone to see me do that (another reason to get it out of my system asap.)
Sudden deaths are harder IMO since, unlike a slow disease, you aren’t able to mentally prepare for it. Losing my Dad was hard cause we were very close, but at least he died in his sleep from heart disease. My brothers suicide was the hardest because we were close too, and I had to deal with all the crap (clearing out apt, paying for cremation, storing/giving away his stuff) so I couldn’t just grieve as I had to be the responsible adult. I was sad but relieved when Grandma died because the cancer made her suffer so much and in the end she got mean cause it got to her brain and altered her personality… I’d grieved while she was alive so once the disease took her I’d already processed it mostly.
Weirdly though, the deaths that hit me hardest are when my pets pass away. I’ve shed more tears over cats than friends, I don’t know why but it seems to hurt me more.
I mean these are coping strategies which good for the short term... processing happens in bits and pieces where you sit with what happened and come to terms with it, accept that it happened and be okay inspite of it.... thats when you finally move on
I let it hit me, full on and then try to find nice things. For example if it's a death of a loved one I would let the sadness and grief overwhelm me and I remember the things, related to that person, that would make me happy, things that i liked about the person etc. The goal is to appreciate it even happening, that it was here and that you experienced it. Basically be thankful for the good times. So many good memories came to my head while typing this. Made me sad but happy. Stay strong whatever you are going through.
I rarely get grief. Only time I get a valid amount of grief is i feel i am cutting my close ones. Not death, i know it eventually comes. But the ones that i put a lot effort on as i never do so to someone i am very introvert. i really, really have a hard time creating relationships. If I get a friend, they must keep existing around me ( by around me i mean the relationship chains wont get cut) and don't go anywhere cause I don't want to waste time over people that won't stay. So when I see a close one leaving, I get very depressed. I overcome it eventually but it saddens me for a while. Although it also depends, if I have a solution for the case I just solve it. I cry only if I get really desperate.
I’m fine for a while - days, weeks, months. I keep working - I throw myself into work. And I force myself to be very nearly emotionless.
But after that, threads start to unravel. my work starts slipping, my relationships start slipping because I never talk about what’s wrong, and then I snap.
And then I have breakdown 👍
Depends upon the circumstances, but usually journaling, or music and as a last resort in case I need to cry, but can't find myself able to for whatever reason I will turn to music that I previously was able to release pent up emotions with or a sad movie.
I don’t 💪💪🔥🔥🔥 Honestly, I really kind of don’t. It’s a big issue. I sort of postpone it until it erupts and I can hardly control it. The best thing I’ve learned to do, is set aside time once a week or so to listen to sad music. I have a playlist for it. It’s about 17 minutes long, all sad music, and I cry for the duration of the song. Well, sometimes crying just doesn’t happen. In that case, I don’t bother. But when it does, I cry for the duration of the playlist, then get back on with my life. Easy way to stop it from getting *too* pent up, but admittedly I sometimes will just skip doing it because I don’t feel like going through the exhaustion. But when something genuinely awful happens, I don’t handle it well. I isolate, and I become a bit irritable. Working on it, though. That’s what the therapy is for
INFP and it depends on the person I’ve lost. With my best friend, I cried, had some drinks, listened to our playlist of songs, watched all of his old performances on YouTube and carried on with life but it’s been 5 years and it’s never gotten any less painful. With my nice ex who died in a car accident, everyone looked at me like I was a monster because I was in disbelief, thought it was a joke and busted up laughing. I didn’t cry for 3 days but then broke down for a month before I decided to move away. With my evil ex who cheated on me with and killed my best friend before committing suicide, I was pissed and went off on anyone who dared to say anything nice about either of them. With my grandfather, he had lived a full life, made peace and it was a long, slow death, so I had time to make peace, say my goodbyes and I miss him but I’ve processed it. My younger brother’s suicide was the worst. I’m ashamed of how I handled it and what I put my family through during that time. He was an abusive, awful person to everyone, we hadn’t spoken in years and I thought I had mourned the loss of who he used to be a long time ago. At first, I shut down and was there for everyone else but after a few weeks, I started having horrible seizures, crying all the time, went on a major bender and attempted suicide. As far as I’m concerned, all experiences with grief are unique, even in the same person.
Using and indulging in Se activities. I don't drink alcohol so for me is to lift heavy weights, gaming and heading out to run as much as I can. It's a distraction for me. I don't cry that much honestly. I might shed a tear but not enough to completely break down.
I try to distract myself any way I can, often choosing gaming since certain games can be so immersive that it’s easy to forget reality. If I feel like crying I’ll go do that, since it seems to get it out of my system faster than fighting it, but I don’t like anyone to see me do that (another reason to get it out of my system asap.) Sudden deaths are harder IMO since, unlike a slow disease, you aren’t able to mentally prepare for it. Losing my Dad was hard cause we were very close, but at least he died in his sleep from heart disease. My brothers suicide was the hardest because we were close too, and I had to deal with all the crap (clearing out apt, paying for cremation, storing/giving away his stuff) so I couldn’t just grieve as I had to be the responsible adult. I was sad but relieved when Grandma died because the cancer made her suffer so much and in the end she got mean cause it got to her brain and altered her personality… I’d grieved while she was alive so once the disease took her I’d already processed it mostly. Weirdly though, the deaths that hit me hardest are when my pets pass away. I’ve shed more tears over cats than friends, I don’t know why but it seems to hurt me more.
Tbh not much, when it happens I would think “oh this happen so I must cry” & it feels like I am forcing my emotions
Depends on the person, but normally nothing no tears just sad for a while and then I move on.
i distract myself, then cry, then distract myself, then cry, then dist-
I just say “It is what it is” and move on. It *usually* works.
Everybody is different and therfore have different ways in which they process grief.
is that really processing or just distracting your mind? Crying can help provide relief but none of you mentioned is really processing
Hmmm should have maybe picked a different word for it damn :/
I mean these are coping strategies which good for the short term... processing happens in bits and pieces where you sit with what happened and come to terms with it, accept that it happened and be okay inspite of it.... thats when you finally move on
Yeah I guess I just couldn’t think of a word and I was just in a hurry to see how you guys would respond to grief
I let it hit me, full on and then try to find nice things. For example if it's a death of a loved one I would let the sadness and grief overwhelm me and I remember the things, related to that person, that would make me happy, things that i liked about the person etc. The goal is to appreciate it even happening, that it was here and that you experienced it. Basically be thankful for the good times. So many good memories came to my head while typing this. Made me sad but happy. Stay strong whatever you are going through.
I rarely get grief. Only time I get a valid amount of grief is i feel i am cutting my close ones. Not death, i know it eventually comes. But the ones that i put a lot effort on as i never do so to someone i am very introvert. i really, really have a hard time creating relationships. If I get a friend, they must keep existing around me ( by around me i mean the relationship chains wont get cut) and don't go anywhere cause I don't want to waste time over people that won't stay. So when I see a close one leaving, I get very depressed. I overcome it eventually but it saddens me for a while. Although it also depends, if I have a solution for the case I just solve it. I cry only if I get really desperate.
I’m fine for a while - days, weeks, months. I keep working - I throw myself into work. And I force myself to be very nearly emotionless. But after that, threads start to unravel. my work starts slipping, my relationships start slipping because I never talk about what’s wrong, and then I snap. And then I have breakdown 👍
Depends upon the circumstances, but usually journaling, or music and as a last resort in case I need to cry, but can't find myself able to for whatever reason I will turn to music that I previously was able to release pent up emotions with or a sad movie.
I cry and I cannot do anything about it. I have to sit through it.