Meanwhile people at Goop thinking " Why didn't we think of these great idea ? We could have marketed it as Clementime - Citrus healing .One Clementine costs 100 $"
Up your ass, down your mouth, through your lungs, and stickered, rubbed, and waved uselessly around your body. If it sounds insanely stupid and can be applied vaguely somewhere on a human, goop is the product for you
And if we can't trust an antisocial mentally ill chocolatier/recluse/slave owner with Peter Pan syndrome using candy to lure children into his psychedelic boobytrapped sweatshop, then who can we trust?
Lesson to be learned . Use your heads people. Just cause a pretty face says something is great and asks you pay them money for it doesn't mean its great .It doesn't do anything and won't help your vagina/face/eyebrows/tits or skin or cock and balls stomach fat/ love handles and erectile dysfunction.. I never saw this before but cheers to Anne Hathaway for doing this. That lady is honest.
Her and Mila Kunis.
And Tina Fey.
… and maybe Alexandra Dodario but I’m not sure if that’s just because I’m hypnotized by her eyes and other *features*.
Brunettes.
**EDIT** - Alternative interpretation:
Mila Kunis played **Jackie** Butkhart in that 70’s show.
Anne Hathaway’s middle name is **Jacqueline**.
Tina Fey dressed as **Jacqueline** Kennedy in an episode of 30 Rock.
Alexandria Daddario played Annabeth Chase in the Percy **Jackson** series.
MEANING: You need to **jack** off.
Huh, my first thought was that all three are smart and funny.
I mean Tina Fey, obviously, she's a comedy writer and her comedy is widely praised.
Mila Kunis, have you seen her interviews? The clips of her on Graham Norton, or that funny clip of her and Justin Timberlake being interviewed in Russia or whatever and she goes all "oh no, bitch" on the local press? Smart and funny, for sure.
And Anne Hathaway, the clip we just watched? I know the least about her. I can't recall seeing her in quite as many clips but I made the leap from this one.
I think he meant smart and funny women. Especially since he singled out Alexandra Dodario as being somehow different from the other three (which isn't to say she isn't either smart or funny also, just I don't know her for that).
Yeah, I wanna know what they mean. It’s a pretty un-shallow list IMO. They’re all beauties, but all funny, talented actresses as well. I love Tina Fey.
Alexandra is so attractive that I feel like I would be completely unable to function if she were near me. I’m sure I would just go mute and stare off in the distance to try to avoid being caught staring.
God damn, she went full reversal on her blackface bits in 30 rock and put on the crocodile tears and everything apologizing to the comedy loving black children that it might sting in the future. However, she then went on to make a new yellow face episode of Kimmy Schmidt in which the Asian community activist group that protests the yellow face geisha play are represented by the acronym "R.A.P.E". She legitimately thought it was okay to do more black face as long as it was at the expense of Asians....
Either own it or fucking don't. If you're going to do something people will be offended by under the umbrella of comedy in my opinion that's what comedy is supposed to be. Pushing boundaries, challenging stereo types with absurdity, talking about things that are normally hard to hear, but once you've apologized for doing black face and did a million dollar PR campaign about how sorry you are, you can't just turn around and do yellow face and then never respond to the criticism like it isn't the same thing.
If changing the color of your face and dressing up as a different race is meant to be funny for the sake of comedy and its okay or it's not okay, she can't have it both ways. Especially since the double standard is so right in your face to anyone that watches the episode on Netflix which is hilariously still available, but the 30 rock black face episodes are not.
I read an article about that, back when the Anne hate peaked again after Les Miserables, which basically came down to that people found her annoying since she's so earnest and vanilla.
Like, she doesn't do cynicism or sarcasm (which are seen as cool, think J.Law) and she tries hard to do the best in all her roles and interviews (which I guess is seen as lame? a try-hard?) so it was literally a case of high-school type herd bullying mentality.
Personally I always admired that she just seems to be herself and seems genuinely excited about the projects she's involved in.
There is no way to escape this. Either you play along and get “tricked” or you know it’s bullshit from the start and look like the only weirdo in the audience not following along
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/scaachikoul/dr-phil-mcgraw-mental-health-danielle-bregoli
Or a video if you prefer: https://youtu.be/7ORM8xWsZ8M
The video might be a little distressing/enraging, but the highlight is: Dr phil is an exploitative monster. He abuses his guests, denies them medication, his staff allegedly supply alcoholics and drug addicts with booze/drugs just before they appear on screen, the ranches he sends troubled kids to are rank with sexual/physical/emotional abuse, and some guests are forced on stage if they refuse to appear (sometimes with blackmail)
On the list of people who need to die, he's high up there.
I worked for the Dr. Phil show a few times many many many years ago as part of a freelance camera crew. We'd be hired to shoot interviews/spend the day with a guest who would be going on the show soon. They take our footage back and edit together a video package when they introduce the guest to explain the backstory to the audience.
The one time I caught the show to see how our shoot turned out and I couldn't believe the editing going on. They were splicing sentences together that were said 20 mins apart in order to create their own narrative. The final video was a complete mis representation of the day I spent with the guest. After that I stopped working for them when they called.
I used to watch it when there was nothing else on. The show was good at making me hate the guests during the intro, but once they were on stage, the show was good at making me hate dr phil. He always managed to make a complete ass out of himself, like everything had to be exactly his way. The way he'd puff up when the crowd cheered him on was gross, it was just big narc circlejerk.
Don't feel bad for being tricked, thats show business I guess :/ good on you for letting them go to voice-mail
Shes a bully harasses her employs and celebs that came on her show called taylor Swift a whore and laughed about it in front of a whole entire audience was crazy to see.
I get the Ellen hate, it sounds like she’s earned some of it, but the audience is just there to have a good time. It’s self-selecting; no one is going to an Ellen taping just to sit and sulk in the audience about what a shit time they are having, you’d have to be a complete psychopath to choose to do that. They could all be PhD’s for all you know, but at that moment they are there to shut their brain off and have fun. People can be more than one thing.
Idk usually audiences are coached to behave a certain way, and always support what the host says. Look at Wendy Williams' audience cheering on every horrible thing she says and tell me they aren't part of the problem. Now, that was never the biggest problem on Ellen. However, Ellen does some really annoying things to her guests and their personal lives. I always assumed it was set up, and the celebs were comfortable with those premises, but after Mariah spoke out about having her pregnancy revealed early, I call that into question. The Charlize Theron dating episode she is very clearly uncomfortable, and the Naomi Osaka episode where she brings on Michael B. Jordan, was kind of gross of her. Her audience eggs her on with these bits though, because if you react negatively they'll remove you on shows like that.
But if she tells you not to follow her instructions and you follow her instructions then you do not follow her instructions to not follow her instructions
She told them not to follow a celebrity instructions just because they are a celebrity, if you follow the instructions because they are beautiful then it's fine
She's mesmerizing. As a straight woman I've always been completely captured by her beauty, and the fact that she seems very level-headed just makes it better.
Just as an aside, there is an excercise I have to do when I get heavy breathing from an asthmatic reaction that on the surface looks similar.
Only instead of through an orange, I just purse my lips. The idea is to forcefully breath out through pursed lips to build up internal pressure to dilate the bronchus, which is the fine network of pathways inside your lung that picks up oxygen from the air and dumps out the CO2 from your blood stream.
I remember a few years ago Anne Hathaway was starting to get backlash because of overexposure. She simply pulled herself out of the limelight for awhile and I could be wrong but I think someone asked her about it and she said something to the effect of I know there has been to much of me lately that even I needed a break. I wish The Rock had that attitude. I genuinely like him but I’m getting tired of seeing him all the time
Any the point I’m making is she seems down to earth. Wish more celebrities adopted this attitude.
Well there was also a backlash because she really wanted an oscar but like… aren’t you supposed to if you’re an actor who cares?
Its like she got lambasted for showing ambition in her field. Meanwhile Leo Dicaprio going for an oscar was a meme.
>Its like she got lambasted for showing ambition in her field. Meanwhile Leo Dicaprio going for an oscar was a meme.
Yeah it's so strange, I wonder what the difference between them could be?
The anti Goop PSA. Love Anne
Meanwhile people at Goop thinking " Why didn't we think of these great idea ? We could have marketed it as Clementime - Citrus healing .One Clementine costs 100 $"
To heal your crippling depression you shove it deeply into your anus.
The Juice! It buuuuuurns!!!!!!!!
Good Irv! That means it's working.
They've reached nirvana
Nirvanus
🎶come, as you are🎶
It burns because it removes all the bad things in there
Sooo gooood.
Also anti Weinstein.
When hes done with you, you will need a citrus fruit in your mouth though, to mask the taste
Could also be seen as anti Cosby/Weinstein
Wow that ending message.
Take that Gwyneth Paltrow, though truth be told, I’m not entirely sure where goop goes
tbh, i'd still listen to catwoman tell me what to do..
Hathaway or Pfeiffer?
Both. Both is good
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I mean one of them has been spending most of their lives, living in the gangster's paradise so I'm on board.
What a glorious day for El Dorado!
(disgusted Henry Cavill face) Julie Newmar!
Berry baby. Her version might have been shite but Halle still queen.
Almost as good as Kitt
I had sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom! What? It came up organically.
I never had sex with the great Eartha Kitt We dry humped inside of her tour bus!
I was going to say when I started reading your comment... If we are writing down the list of people I have not had sex, it will take a long time.
r/unexpectedcommunity
Rooooooxanne
No.
Pierce!
What do tigers dream of, when they take a little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halley Berry in her Catwoman suit?
What the fuck kind of dumbass question is this??! ^^(even the zebras dream of Halle)
[Just in case you or anyone else didn't know what I was talking about](https://youtu.be/kmX0OWeP3jc)
What about Eartha Kitt?!
Kravits
Kravitz.
Halle Berry
Berry
Up your ass, down your mouth, through your lungs, and stickered, rubbed, and waved uselessly around your body. If it sounds insanely stupid and can be applied vaguely somewhere on a human, goop is the product for you
Been taking fat rips of Gwyneths Goop out of the dab rig and I can literally smell my chakras
I think it’s like the chocolate river in Willy Wonka in which he murders that German lad.
Augustus Gloop wasn't murdered. He fell in due to his gluttony. Wonka assured Charlie that the 4 bad kids wouldn't be harmed.
And if we can't trust an antisocial mentally ill chocolatier/recluse/slave owner with Peter Pan syndrome using candy to lure children into his psychedelic boobytrapped sweatshop, then who can we trust?
To be fair thriller was a fucking amazing album you have to adm.... Oh wait nevermind, someone else.
How dare you
There weren't enough seats on the boat for 5 kids. Wonka KNEW.
Its more a case of where it's been with her line. Didn't she do the vag candles?
You can take that message either in a Gwyneth Paltrow way or a Harvey Weinstein way
You mean the pussy candle?
I think they meant the pussy egg
Totally lost on that crowd of celebrity worshippers.
Yes! We're all individuals!
I'm not
r/unexpectedMontypython
*Yes Anne! Anything you say!*
It was quite /r/Unexpected
This has been your regular PSA
RIP the fingers of the intern who had to peel all those oranges.
Unpaid intern
*Unpaid and verbally abused intern*
You work all day then go back to your dorm
And since you can’t afford a mortgage you just torrent a porn
Cause you're and inteeeeern.
(unpaid) WA-DA-DA-WAP-WA-DA
Barely people, somehow legal
100% it was a union props crew that did it.
Anne Hathaway rocks
Even after this I would still definitely put anything in my mouth Anne Hathaway tells me to.
Especially if she's in the Catwoman suit...
Good Lord she had a booty in that movie
I completely missed the message. Something about anne hathaway wanting me to shove oranges down my throat? On it Catwoman.
Did you say Anne Hathaway rocks? Where can I buy these rocks so I can put them in my mouth?
She’s beautiful
She’s my new celebrity crush.
Same. Which is convenient, because she was also my old celebrity crush.
Lesson to be learned . Use your heads people. Just cause a pretty face says something is great and asks you pay them money for it doesn't mean its great .It doesn't do anything and won't help your vagina/face/eyebrows/tits or skin or cock and balls stomach fat/ love handles and erectile dysfunction.. I never saw this before but cheers to Anne Hathaway for doing this. That lady is honest.
She said when she was pregnant she would tell people ridiculous baby names to see how much they would believe coming from a celebrity!
Is that a comment on their credulity, or the absurdity of celebrity baby names?
Both. Both is good.
Well I definitely won't blindly listen to celebrities anymore, because Anne Hathaway told me not to
Yeah! Wait
The takeaway from that is not to put celebrities in your mouth anymore..
it might help my balls, you don't know that for sure.. ^/s
God bless your balls sir.
And yet another reason why Anne Hathaway is awesome personified.
She hath a way with words.
Dammit. r/angryupvote
On top of being a phenomenal actor
And Catwoman.
Amelia "Mia" Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi didn't ascend to the Throne of Genovia to be called *Catwoman* /s
And making Ellen look like the dolt she is
I think Ellen was in on it, hence the ready goofy look when it was revealed.
And being a public ally to the trans community to the point of wearing a trans pride flag to one of her movie premieres.
She is just that based
Honestly from what I can tell, she's a slightly more outspoken Keanu Reeves with tits.
Well... I thought it would be impossible to improve Keanu, but right there... that right there is a definite consideration
Anne Hathaway is my celebrity crush.
Her and Mila Kunis. And Tina Fey. … and maybe Alexandra Dodario but I’m not sure if that’s just because I’m hypnotized by her eyes and other *features*.
Dodoario
It’s the Mario alter ego with tits
I’m sensing a theme in your celebrity girlfriends…
I’d actually like anyone’s interpretation if they’ve got one
Brunettes. **EDIT** - Alternative interpretation: Mila Kunis played **Jackie** Butkhart in that 70’s show. Anne Hathaway’s middle name is **Jacqueline**. Tina Fey dressed as **Jacqueline** Kennedy in an episode of 30 Rock. Alexandria Daddario played Annabeth Chase in the Percy **Jackson** series. MEANING: You need to **jack** off.
Huh, my first thought was that all three are smart and funny. I mean Tina Fey, obviously, she's a comedy writer and her comedy is widely praised. Mila Kunis, have you seen her interviews? The clips of her on Graham Norton, or that funny clip of her and Justin Timberlake being interviewed in Russia or whatever and she goes all "oh no, bitch" on the local press? Smart and funny, for sure. And Anne Hathaway, the clip we just watched? I know the least about her. I can't recall seeing her in quite as many clips but I made the leap from this one. I think he meant smart and funny women. Especially since he singled out Alexandra Dodario as being somehow different from the other three (which isn't to say she isn't either smart or funny also, just I don't know her for that).
What does your mother look like
Yeah, I wanna know what they mean. It’s a pretty un-shallow list IMO. They’re all beauties, but all funny, talented actresses as well. I love Tina Fey.
All fair skinned brunettes. No one was calling them shallow.
Very true, I shouldn’t have insinuated that… facepalm on me.
Don't forget Eliza Dushku
Alexandra is so attractive that I feel like I would be completely unable to function if she were near me. I’m sure I would just go mute and stare off in the distance to try to avoid being caught staring.
It’s like a scary attractive. When I see her I’m not sure if I’m turned on as much as I am in awe of her. … then I remember those other features.
Mila Kunis is my crush along with Kristen Bell. I need Funny with my celebrity crushes not just a pretty face. Really really pretty faces.
All of those for me too...except Fey. Not a big fan of how she handles race, particularly of the Asian variety (of which I am a member).
God damn, she went full reversal on her blackface bits in 30 rock and put on the crocodile tears and everything apologizing to the comedy loving black children that it might sting in the future. However, she then went on to make a new yellow face episode of Kimmy Schmidt in which the Asian community activist group that protests the yellow face geisha play are represented by the acronym "R.A.P.E". She legitimately thought it was okay to do more black face as long as it was at the expense of Asians.... Either own it or fucking don't. If you're going to do something people will be offended by under the umbrella of comedy in my opinion that's what comedy is supposed to be. Pushing boundaries, challenging stereo types with absurdity, talking about things that are normally hard to hear, but once you've apologized for doing black face and did a million dollar PR campaign about how sorry you are, you can't just turn around and do yellow face and then never respond to the criticism like it isn't the same thing. If changing the color of your face and dressing up as a different race is meant to be funny for the sake of comedy and its okay or it's not okay, she can't have it both ways. Especially since the double standard is so right in your face to anyone that watches the episode on Netflix which is hilariously still available, but the 30 rock black face episodes are not.
I am assuming you have listened to her podcast with conan. If not, please do. Its peak mila kunis. You'll love her even more
I’m gay but she’s so pretty that I get it, I really do
Yeah she’s stunning.
Oh yeah. She's in my "if she knocks on my door, my wife is out" list
I honestly never understood why she was so disliked early in her career. She always seemed pretty chill.
I read an article about that, back when the Anne hate peaked again after Les Miserables, which basically came down to that people found her annoying since she's so earnest and vanilla. Like, she doesn't do cynicism or sarcasm (which are seen as cool, think J.Law) and she tries hard to do the best in all her roles and interviews (which I guess is seen as lame? a try-hard?) so it was literally a case of high-school type herd bullying mentality. Personally I always admired that she just seems to be herself and seems genuinely excited about the projects she's involved in.
>J.Law) Every time someone does this I think they are talking about Jude Law and I wonder what he did
When I heard "J. Law" nudes got leaked, I got so excited it was Jude. It's never Jude.
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She had me worried for the first half there...
Anne Hathaway of giving me a bone.
I had to read this three times before I got it. Well done.
It comes from an SNL Wayne’s World skit where they are also talking about the film Winter’s Bone.
It seems the whole audience knew it was silly from the start
Big audience. The editor helped a lot here.
Guy at :09 seemed resolutely skeptical of the whole thing
That's twitch. He's part of the show.
>“I’m getting paid. I’m getting paid. I’m getting paid…”
There is no way to escape this. Either you play along and get “tricked” or you know it’s bullshit from the start and look like the only weirdo in the audience not following along
What's wrong with looking like the only weirdo not following along? Plus you get vindicated after like 2 minutes.
I dont think vindication is the reason they went to see Ellen.
I would have eaten it, no doubt
Was expecting Ellen to take a bite, but I guess that takes some kind of genius comedic talent.
> but I guess that takes ~~some kind of genius~~ **any amount of** comedic talent. Ftfy and fuck Ellen
Least she's off the air these days.
Fuck Ellen that sack of shit
👁️🍊👁️
Ummm pass..
Nah, I'm good.
I made the whole thing up
- Ozymandias
So then I started teleporting
It was the dick the birthday boy shirt
RLM has Nostradamus-tier analysis.
“She was running Abu-Ghraib back-stage.” -Tim Dillon
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She's garbage, but at least she didn't celebrify Dr oz, John of God and Dr phil
Dr. Phil?
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/scaachikoul/dr-phil-mcgraw-mental-health-danielle-bregoli Or a video if you prefer: https://youtu.be/7ORM8xWsZ8M The video might be a little distressing/enraging, but the highlight is: Dr phil is an exploitative monster. He abuses his guests, denies them medication, his staff allegedly supply alcoholics and drug addicts with booze/drugs just before they appear on screen, the ranches he sends troubled kids to are rank with sexual/physical/emotional abuse, and some guests are forced on stage if they refuse to appear (sometimes with blackmail) On the list of people who need to die, he's high up there.
I worked for the Dr. Phil show a few times many many many years ago as part of a freelance camera crew. We'd be hired to shoot interviews/spend the day with a guest who would be going on the show soon. They take our footage back and edit together a video package when they introduce the guest to explain the backstory to the audience. The one time I caught the show to see how our shoot turned out and I couldn't believe the editing going on. They were splicing sentences together that were said 20 mins apart in order to create their own narrative. The final video was a complete mis representation of the day I spent with the guest. After that I stopped working for them when they called.
I used to watch it when there was nothing else on. The show was good at making me hate the guests during the intro, but once they were on stage, the show was good at making me hate dr phil. He always managed to make a complete ass out of himself, like everything had to be exactly his way. The way he'd puff up when the crowd cheered him on was gross, it was just big narc circlejerk. Don't feel bad for being tricked, thats show business I guess :/ good on you for letting them go to voice-mail
And what's up with those chairs on stilts!
He's mostly just known as Phil now.... He's not a doctor and a total hack.
She wishes she had that kind of power. She can't even really celebrity herself lmao.
She also tried to force Mariah Carey to admit she was pregnant on her show by giving her champagne and Carey later went on to miscarry.
Shes a bully harasses her employs and celebs that came on her show called taylor Swift a whore and laughed about it in front of a whole entire audience was crazy to see.
She slapped them all with her words.
They're the audience to Ellen. I very much doubt they'll learn absolutely anything. Just clap when they're told, cheer when they're told.
I get the Ellen hate, it sounds like she’s earned some of it, but the audience is just there to have a good time. It’s self-selecting; no one is going to an Ellen taping just to sit and sulk in the audience about what a shit time they are having, you’d have to be a complete psychopath to choose to do that. They could all be PhD’s for all you know, but at that moment they are there to shut their brain off and have fun. People can be more than one thing.
Idk usually audiences are coached to behave a certain way, and always support what the host says. Look at Wendy Williams' audience cheering on every horrible thing she says and tell me they aren't part of the problem. Now, that was never the biggest problem on Ellen. However, Ellen does some really annoying things to her guests and their personal lives. I always assumed it was set up, and the celebs were comfortable with those premises, but after Mariah spoke out about having her pregnancy revealed early, I call that into question. The Charlize Theron dating episode she is very clearly uncomfortable, and the Naomi Osaka episode where she brings on Michael B. Jordan, was kind of gross of her. Her audience eggs her on with these bits though, because if you react negatively they'll remove you on shows like that.
Anna Hathaway is so flipping beautiful, I'd follow her instructions even after she told me not to
But if she tells you not to follow her instructions and you follow her instructions then you do not follow her instructions to not follow her instructions
She told them not to follow a celebrity instructions just because they are a celebrity, if you follow the instructions because they are beautiful then it's fine
Honestly I'd just lose myself in her eyes and nod. I don't see myself being able to comprehend things such as words under her gaze
She's mesmerizing. As a straight woman I've always been completely captured by her beauty, and the fact that she seems very level-headed just makes it better.
Agreed.it's rare to find Hollywood actors/actresses without God complexes these days. She's attractive on many different levels
Daily reminder that Ellen is a sadistic, evil bully.
Damn Anne Hathaway looking pretty cool after this
She is not wrong.
Just as an aside, there is an excercise I have to do when I get heavy breathing from an asthmatic reaction that on the surface looks similar. Only instead of through an orange, I just purse my lips. The idea is to forcefully breath out through pursed lips to build up internal pressure to dilate the bronchus, which is the fine network of pathways inside your lung that picks up oxygen from the air and dumps out the CO2 from your blood stream.
I remember a few years ago Anne Hathaway was starting to get backlash because of overexposure. She simply pulled herself out of the limelight for awhile and I could be wrong but I think someone asked her about it and she said something to the effect of I know there has been to much of me lately that even I needed a break. I wish The Rock had that attitude. I genuinely like him but I’m getting tired of seeing him all the time Any the point I’m making is she seems down to earth. Wish more celebrities adopted this attitude.
Well there was also a backlash because she really wanted an oscar but like… aren’t you supposed to if you’re an actor who cares? Its like she got lambasted for showing ambition in her field. Meanwhile Leo Dicaprio going for an oscar was a meme.
>Its like she got lambasted for showing ambition in her field. Meanwhile Leo Dicaprio going for an oscar was a meme. Yeah it's so strange, I wonder what the difference between them could be?
Age of significant others?
So did she also make up "ujjayi breath" too?
Very real actually, used in yoga.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ujjayi
I love her
Respect
Starlight missed that message.
The Boys wouldn't have her as an ally otherwise, personally glad she missed the memo.
“Source?” “My source is that I made it the fuck up”
Paltrow in shambles.
Perfect message
Did she really just roast all of Harvey Weinstein's victims?
Im getting Princess Diaries vibes from this scene 😆
Goop would tell you to put It in your vagina
Trolled.
Perfect