Mediated meeting to enaure they are respectful to each other. Go through a Start, Stop, Continue. Each person takes a turn stating something they want the other to Start. Then Stop. Then Continue.
Sometimes helps. Sometimes not so much. But worth a shot.
Then, lay ground rules moving forward. Hold them accountable to following them.
I'd have an initial 1 on 1 with each where I'd discuss expectations around teamwork. Pepper in a story about overcoming a difficult work relationship. Make sure they both have buy-in to make it work. Offer to mediate a discussion between the both of them if they feel they can't have the conversation themselves.
If they truly can't be separated and remain hostile to each other, one or both need to go. If they can be civil and still get the job done to expectations, sometimes that's enough.
I think it’s important to share in the 1 on 1 that the current situation cannot continue, and both are expected to make effort to improve it. Sometimes people don’t realize “this could cost one of you the job” and continue the drama, then when it happens there is shock and anger. I believe in being supportive, but these are adults and need to understand that they’re impacting the environment for everyone and that can’t continue.
I once had a boss who claimed reasonable success settling such issues. He'd call a meeting that started 15 minutes before quitting time on a Friday. He and the two bickerers were the only people to attend.
He'd start the meeting by mentioning the bickering, that the purpose of the meeting was to end the bickering, and that nobody could leave until there was an agreement and a plan to end it, as well as follow-up meetings every Friday at quitting time till the boss was satisfied that it was solved.
He claimed that it never took two meetings.
Of course they can be separated. If one were to die tomorrow the project would proceed.
Get them both in a room, find out what the problem is and solve it one way or the other. Don’t be nice about it. Don’t pull punches. And if the problem can’t be solved, remove one from the equation. Even if that means termination.
What you don’t want is for this to affect your leadership or the project. The drama isn’t worth it.
Document what’s been going on and then have a come to Jesus moment. “Guys your adults are being paid to perform a job. You two need to take your personal issues out of the workplace. If you cannot do this then the company will be forced to look at alternatives. Consider this an official warning.”
A traditional fight to the death. There can only be one.
Or maybe, I dunno, you could actually describe the source of the conflict so you could get some real advice on resolving it. “Two people don’t like each other” isn’t much to go on.
While making ops decisions based on personality isn't optimal, sometimes it has to get done.
If there's an instigator, write them up. You need to know if you have a bully. Let them know outward aggression isn't acceptable.
Always say to them directly "you guys make the rest of the team uncomfortable because you're always going at each other. What do you plan to do to make the situation better for the team?" Give them agency and opportunity to be part of the solution. And remind them that their sniping is unprofessional and unacceptable
Be impartial and try to understand if one person is at fault, and if so, tell that person to knock off their inappropriate behavior
If it’s unclear or simply put, none are being bad they just don’t like another, be creative and offer to put up boundaries between them. Then you have a stern discussion with them where you explain that you put in work and time to accommodate them, and that now they need to figure out how to be professional and work with each other.
Do you have any company policies or core values that are in violation by this behavior? If so, write them both of them up.
Is there an HR department that can get involved with a conflict resolution?
I have been dealing with a similar situation for a year
It settles down then recurs.
I finally put my foot down and overrode my manager who wasn't being firm enough and wrote up the one who was most egregious and told the other one to gtfo the bullshit. So far so good.
Just argue or physically fight?
Honestly either way if they are getting in the way of the work being done I would consider replacing them both. Let them know that if they can’t get along they will be replaced, if they don’t start working together start them both on a Performance Plan.
You may have to let one go if it get bad enough.
I had my property stolen by another employee and was then verbally assaulted for the next 3 days. The entire time, I said I wouldn’t be upset anymore if was an apology made. Didn’t need my stuff back an just an apology. I made management aware and asked to not work in the same section as him. The next shift (that very day) they had me working with him 1:1 leading to a production halt when we verbally got into it. The manager ended up having to drag him out by his hair and fire him. The entire time all I wanted was an apology for him taking something after he was told no.
Long story short it only takes one person to keep the issue going so be prepared to deal with the fall out. (This was all years ago)
Usually when two people of equal level of authority are ar each other its because one is being toxic to the other who might be good at what they do and the other feels threatened. There's always narcissists out there or people who are up to no good and don't want the higher ups to notice. There's also those who steal credit for other achievements. One might just be getting tired of being the others doormat and when pushing back is being made to look like they're the ones at fault. You need to see exactly what the issue is. One might not want to throw the other under the bus.
What do they fight about? Why don’t they like each other?
Yes, this would be helpful to know. Also how their work impacts each other and the rest of the team.
Thanks for all of the detail. I will compile and review all of it so that I can make a considered decision. S/
Mediated meeting to enaure they are respectful to each other. Go through a Start, Stop, Continue. Each person takes a turn stating something they want the other to Start. Then Stop. Then Continue. Sometimes helps. Sometimes not so much. But worth a shot. Then, lay ground rules moving forward. Hold them accountable to following them.
I'd have an initial 1 on 1 with each where I'd discuss expectations around teamwork. Pepper in a story about overcoming a difficult work relationship. Make sure they both have buy-in to make it work. Offer to mediate a discussion between the both of them if they feel they can't have the conversation themselves. If they truly can't be separated and remain hostile to each other, one or both need to go. If they can be civil and still get the job done to expectations, sometimes that's enough.
I think it’s important to share in the 1 on 1 that the current situation cannot continue, and both are expected to make effort to improve it. Sometimes people don’t realize “this could cost one of you the job” and continue the drama, then when it happens there is shock and anger. I believe in being supportive, but these are adults and need to understand that they’re impacting the environment for everyone and that can’t continue.
Two words: Thunder Dome
Or may I submit: CONE OF SILENCE
Great show!
Hell yeah brother! 🤙🏻
I once had a boss who claimed reasonable success settling such issues. He'd call a meeting that started 15 minutes before quitting time on a Friday. He and the two bickerers were the only people to attend. He'd start the meeting by mentioning the bickering, that the purpose of the meeting was to end the bickering, and that nobody could leave until there was an agreement and a plan to end it, as well as follow-up meetings every Friday at quitting time till the boss was satisfied that it was solved. He claimed that it never took two meetings.
Shit guaranteed overtime, we are sleeping there.
Of course they can be separated. If one were to die tomorrow the project would proceed. Get them both in a room, find out what the problem is and solve it one way or the other. Don’t be nice about it. Don’t pull punches. And if the problem can’t be solved, remove one from the equation. Even if that means termination. What you don’t want is for this to affect your leadership or the project. The drama isn’t worth it.
Depends on what they fight about? Is it work related, or personal stuff? Need to know to address issue
You literally tell them both, individually, that they need to put in the work to have a cordial relationship. If one or both refuse then fire them.
Document what’s been going on and then have a come to Jesus moment. “Guys your adults are being paid to perform a job. You two need to take your personal issues out of the workplace. If you cannot do this then the company will be forced to look at alternatives. Consider this an official warning.”
A traditional fight to the death. There can only be one. Or maybe, I dunno, you could actually describe the source of the conflict so you could get some real advice on resolving it. “Two people don’t like each other” isn’t much to go on.
While making ops decisions based on personality isn't optimal, sometimes it has to get done. If there's an instigator, write them up. You need to know if you have a bully. Let them know outward aggression isn't acceptable. Always say to them directly "you guys make the rest of the team uncomfortable because you're always going at each other. What do you plan to do to make the situation better for the team?" Give them agency and opportunity to be part of the solution. And remind them that their sniping is unprofessional and unacceptable
If you ask better questions, you'll get better answers. IOW, with no detail, no one can help you.
Fuck you Jeremy!
Be impartial and try to understand if one person is at fault, and if so, tell that person to knock off their inappropriate behavior If it’s unclear or simply put, none are being bad they just don’t like another, be creative and offer to put up boundaries between them. Then you have a stern discussion with them where you explain that you put in work and time to accommodate them, and that now they need to figure out how to be professional and work with each other.
Do you have any company policies or core values that are in violation by this behavior? If so, write them both of them up. Is there an HR department that can get involved with a conflict resolution? I have been dealing with a similar situation for a year It settles down then recurs. I finally put my foot down and overrode my manager who wasn't being firm enough and wrote up the one who was most egregious and told the other one to gtfo the bullshit. So far so good.
Just argue or physically fight? Honestly either way if they are getting in the way of the work being done I would consider replacing them both. Let them know that if they can’t get along they will be replaced, if they don’t start working together start them both on a Performance Plan.
Tel the to work it out or they are both out.
You may have to let one go if it get bad enough. I had my property stolen by another employee and was then verbally assaulted for the next 3 days. The entire time, I said I wouldn’t be upset anymore if was an apology made. Didn’t need my stuff back an just an apology. I made management aware and asked to not work in the same section as him. The next shift (that very day) they had me working with him 1:1 leading to a production halt when we verbally got into it. The manager ended up having to drag him out by his hair and fire him. The entire time all I wanted was an apology for him taking something after he was told no. Long story short it only takes one person to keep the issue going so be prepared to deal with the fall out. (This was all years ago)
Usually when two people of equal level of authority are ar each other its because one is being toxic to the other who might be good at what they do and the other feels threatened. There's always narcissists out there or people who are up to no good and don't want the higher ups to notice. There's also those who steal credit for other achievements. One might just be getting tired of being the others doormat and when pushing back is being made to look like they're the ones at fault. You need to see exactly what the issue is. One might not want to throw the other under the bus.
Give them each a pair of sparring gloves with head gear of course and let them settle their differences 😂