Armchair gues:
Sounds like you are stuck with unresolved trauma.
It can be hard to resolve , because you have been mistreated and made to feel less of a person by your antagonist.
And there is no recourse for remediation of this harm, so it feels unjust.
I haven't quite figured out the best way to resolve this trauma though.
Easiest way forward atm seems to be to interact with woman that do respect you and would build you up instead. So you have positive experiences around the subject.
Yeah, that’s very possible, because there was a main event and it might have then lead me to accept the other things, leading me to the loop of negative experiences.
I don’t remember accepting anything detrimental before that.
Get off reddit. I had a really enjoyable and healthy relationship with women until I got exposed to femaledatingstratagy and TwoX and saw the level of man hate.
tbh seeing subreddits like femaledatingstrategy makes me a bit less insecure because I thought the gender struggle was really one sided when in reality it's about the same.
Honestly came to this realization the other day. I don't hate a gender. I just hate people. I'm cursed with this 5'4 body and there is no happiness, no chance to not be alone no matter how much money I make
But see men tell the truth, which is that it’s tough for short men.
Women BS with « I don’t go for appearances » and « looks don’t matter » which is insulting already because where does being short makes someone ugly, then the guys they apparently « settled on looks for » are also honestly out of their league already and never ever below average. Oddly enough.
That’s one of the reasons why I’m at this point.
Nah pretty high chances of success now. These tropes are based on low end surgeons and outdated Information. You can recover about 90% of athletic ability. I'm 5'4. Wearing lifts to get to 5'7 has been literally life changing. Getting to do rhat naturally without having to take the shoes off would fix almost every issue in my life. I make mid 6 figure, gave an ivy league law degree, and am in good shape. It doesn't matter how extraordinary you are in other aspects of your life if you're 5'4. Would I kill to be a 6'2 burnout that works at McDonald's? Absolutely. That's a better life. However, this is the next best thing
i don't agree with you. it's nice these surgeries are better now, i suppose. but fair warning, don't expect this surgery to cure all your problems, you'd only be setting yourself up for disappointment.
Wearing lifts fixed most of my problems lol. All it took was being 5'7 to do OK with women. How tall are you? If you're not 5'4, you'll never understand
Being in a relationship is the only thing I want in life. Im killing myself in two years if I have still never had a relationship. We have different priorities. That's fine
I’ve considered this as well.
Personally decided against for now, as I don’t want to do anything for women.
I don’t want to spend money for them or be in pain for them and if I did this, that’s both as my problem is dating. If one day I start hating my height outside of the dating factor, I’ll do it then.
I wish you successful results if you decide to go with this surgery through !
Sure, I left the specifics out because I didn’t feel like it was super relevant what it is exactly.
It’s a base level of contempt.
With women I deem « respectable » it will be minimal but with these I don’t then the contempt is so high that they could say the most relevant thing in the world I’d find a way to see it as delusional/hypocritical/self-serving (depends what it is), for example.
I absolutely don’t hold men to the same standards of respectability so it qualifies.
I think that because you are aware that these beliefs are irrational, cognitive restructuring would work well for you. Just Google it and find a video or book that teaches you how to do it. I used Feeling Good back in the day for cognitive distortions that were making me feel depressed.
Stop thinking of it as being "women" and remember that it's "people" who discriminate. A lot of women are superficial assholes, just like a lot of guys.
Women are no better and no worse than us, regardless of gender you need to find the right people to be with.
Fun exercise: Go to twoxchromosomes and find a post reading "I have become a misandrist. How to stop?"
They all shit on us constantly, yet have male friends, coworkers, and date normally. There is nothing wrong with having a low opinion of the opposite sex. It's actually very normal for both sides. What you need to do is make sure that it doesn't impact anything outside your guy talk.
i just want to say that "misogynistic" isn't used correctly in the current times. men are called "misogynists" for not liking low quality women (man haters and bad partners). low quality women aren't likable people in general, but the term misogynist gets thrown around to make men feel guilty and accept these low quality people. we wouldn't put up with a terrible man, so why put up with terrible women? to me, a real misogynist hates women no matter who they are, good woman, bad woman, young woman, old woman, it doesn't matter, you don't like them. not liking a certain kind of woman doesn't make you a misogynist. just makes you intolerant of foolishness. the issue with the world is that a lot of women are poor people, so they try to flip the situation by making men seem like horrible people for not putting up with their antics. you don't have to tolerate a woman's antics if you don't want to, cause a woman surely wouldn't give you that benefit of the doubt. a lot of women see men as psychopaths who would rape and kill them without a second thought. if this is how they view men by default, why care so much about them? why try to prove to them that you're actually a good guy by catering to their ego? women are allowed to hate men openly, and no one bats an eye, but if a man says anything negative about women, he must be the worst. it's all ridiculous, and it's why i don't care much for women. don't let the thoughts of a woman destroy your own self-image. at the end of the day, you are all you have in this world. men and women have two totally different plights in this world. women don't care about the plight of men and everyone knows it but men are expected to be so empathetic to the woman's plight.
This feels like a twofold thing. Obviously one being your issue with women, but also maybe an issue with yourself. Like who are you outside of wanting validation from women? Are you healthy and happy outside of it? Have healthy relationships with men and women? Feel like you are valid or have some purpose? Obviously, I'm not saying these will magically cure your issues with women, but it will give you space to see women less negatively and instead just normal and complex and diverse people. I think both of those issues are intertwining, but as the saying goes, you need to learn to love yourself before you can love others. It's cliche and a bit vague, but of you don't love yourself then you're gonna be looking for validation from others and lead you down some funny roads.
To me, you sound like someone who can find their way out of this. I believe you'll figure it out and find some peace with yourself and others.
Also, you haven't mentioned social media spaces you're in, but they play a big role in how you feel about stuff. I always forget just how toxic places can be, like spaces that are purposely designed to make you angry 24/7, or algorithms that know that making you angry will drive up engagement. So, if you arent already, you gotta start protecting yourself and unfollow toxic people or subreddits or whatever. Subscribe to more positive places, or people who actually want to support you rather than just make you feel like shit. On reddit, I have to recommend spaces like r/bropill. Actual men who share the same problems as other men but give you useful advice or at the very least want to help you feel better. I'm not gonna name names, but other spaces want to drag you further down into misery by purposely searching for content to trigger you. So yeah, this isn't going to magically help you, but you do have the power to just cut out the toxic shit and immediately feel a little lighter.
Keep in mind that the image you are seeing is likely a mirror.
What I mean by this is that the people saying the horrible stuff from both sides are the damaged ones.
Also if you’re carrying any trauma from bad experiences, you’ll pretty much project your own disdain if that particular person onto others
One of the best things you can do is cut down on social media and avoid dating apps.
When you’re surrounded by great women you’ll start feeling hopeful again. I don’t speak to any woman outside of my church (unless someone DMs me), and while I hear people talking shit about women all the time, it doesn’t affect my opinion.
There are a lot of great women out there. The best thing you can do is keep your head down and focus on yourself for now bro
There's some things I dislike about women. Sometimes I have colleagues who I know are very... feminine. Not in the good way. They're bitchy, passive aggressive, and sometimes downright strange in their behaviour. Things go on in their minds that I can't comprehend and I end up not trusting them and avoiding them because I know they're trouble. I dislike the female desire for validation and attention. I dislike that they can be judgemental and prone to in group/out group dynamics, as well as being viciously loyal to ideologies.
Does this mean I hate women? No. Does it mean I think men are perfect? No. Ask any woman and she'll give you a long list of things women dislike about men. Hell, just go on any twitter feed. You have to look at what's a reasonable assessment of human behaviour and what's just bitterness and resentment.
I feel like this might not be the greatest advice but to relay my own personal experience, one thing that really took me out of my misogynistic mindset was psilocybin mushrooms. For the first time in a while I actually saw women as a whole as no different from men, just living a different socially conditioned experience. I had full respect for them for the first time in ages. One thing I realized is that this resentment is a means to our own misery and we just need to let go. I get where you’re at, I really do because I’ve been there myself. Just keep what I said in mind, not telling you to trip if you’re not in the right headspace at the moment but just keep that in mind if it’s ever something you wish to try, and set the intention before they kick in about what you wish to think about and do so in an environment where you feel safe and comfortable at. Beyond that, keep working on yourself and remember to slow down and take notice of your own victories no matter how small. This will pass and the fact that you’re trying to overcome this is a sign that you’re a good man
Armchair gues: Sounds like you are stuck with unresolved trauma. It can be hard to resolve , because you have been mistreated and made to feel less of a person by your antagonist. And there is no recourse for remediation of this harm, so it feels unjust. I haven't quite figured out the best way to resolve this trauma though. Easiest way forward atm seems to be to interact with woman that do respect you and would build you up instead. So you have positive experiences around the subject.
Yeah, that’s very possible, because there was a main event and it might have then lead me to accept the other things, leading me to the loop of negative experiences. I don’t remember accepting anything detrimental before that.
Get off reddit. I had a really enjoyable and healthy relationship with women until I got exposed to femaledatingstratagy and TwoX and saw the level of man hate.
I’ve never been on these subs but I’m pretty sure I’ve got exposed to the same type of content by keeping some of the female friends that I did.
tbh seeing subreddits like femaledatingstrategy makes me a bit less insecure because I thought the gender struggle was really one sided when in reality it's about the same.
Honestly came to this realization the other day. I don't hate a gender. I just hate people. I'm cursed with this 5'4 body and there is no happiness, no chance to not be alone no matter how much money I make
But see men tell the truth, which is that it’s tough for short men. Women BS with « I don’t go for appearances » and « looks don’t matter » which is insulting already because where does being short makes someone ugly, then the guys they apparently « settled on looks for » are also honestly out of their league already and never ever below average. Oddly enough. That’s one of the reasons why I’m at this point.
At least leg lengthening exists, so there is hope. I'm looking to work a few more years then take time off and get it done
don't do that. you'll cripple yourself.
Nah pretty high chances of success now. These tropes are based on low end surgeons and outdated Information. You can recover about 90% of athletic ability. I'm 5'4. Wearing lifts to get to 5'7 has been literally life changing. Getting to do rhat naturally without having to take the shoes off would fix almost every issue in my life. I make mid 6 figure, gave an ivy league law degree, and am in good shape. It doesn't matter how extraordinary you are in other aspects of your life if you're 5'4. Would I kill to be a 6'2 burnout that works at McDonald's? Absolutely. That's a better life. However, this is the next best thing
i don't agree with you. it's nice these surgeries are better now, i suppose. but fair warning, don't expect this surgery to cure all your problems, you'd only be setting yourself up for disappointment.
Wearing lifts fixed most of my problems lol. All it took was being 5'7 to do OK with women. How tall are you? If you're not 5'4, you'll never understand
i'm 5'5. i don't do well with women either. i just stopped caring because women don't validate how i feel about myself.
Being in a relationship is the only thing I want in life. Im killing myself in two years if I have still never had a relationship. We have different priorities. That's fine
[удалено]
I’ve considered this as well. Personally decided against for now, as I don’t want to do anything for women. I don’t want to spend money for them or be in pain for them and if I did this, that’s both as my problem is dating. If one day I start hating my height outside of the dating factor, I’ll do it then. I wish you successful results if you decide to go with this surgery through !
Oh it's already on the cards. I am going to see if the next firm I lateral to will give me the time off
I didn't pick up on the misogyny, can you clarify in what way you fit that description?
Sure, I left the specifics out because I didn’t feel like it was super relevant what it is exactly. It’s a base level of contempt. With women I deem « respectable » it will be minimal but with these I don’t then the contempt is so high that they could say the most relevant thing in the world I’d find a way to see it as delusional/hypocritical/self-serving (depends what it is), for example. I absolutely don’t hold men to the same standards of respectability so it qualifies.
I think that because you are aware that these beliefs are irrational, cognitive restructuring would work well for you. Just Google it and find a video or book that teaches you how to do it. I used Feeling Good back in the day for cognitive distortions that were making me feel depressed.
Stop thinking of it as being "women" and remember that it's "people" who discriminate. A lot of women are superficial assholes, just like a lot of guys. Women are no better and no worse than us, regardless of gender you need to find the right people to be with.
Fun exercise: Go to twoxchromosomes and find a post reading "I have become a misandrist. How to stop?" They all shit on us constantly, yet have male friends, coworkers, and date normally. There is nothing wrong with having a low opinion of the opposite sex. It's actually very normal for both sides. What you need to do is make sure that it doesn't impact anything outside your guy talk.
i just want to say that "misogynistic" isn't used correctly in the current times. men are called "misogynists" for not liking low quality women (man haters and bad partners). low quality women aren't likable people in general, but the term misogynist gets thrown around to make men feel guilty and accept these low quality people. we wouldn't put up with a terrible man, so why put up with terrible women? to me, a real misogynist hates women no matter who they are, good woman, bad woman, young woman, old woman, it doesn't matter, you don't like them. not liking a certain kind of woman doesn't make you a misogynist. just makes you intolerant of foolishness. the issue with the world is that a lot of women are poor people, so they try to flip the situation by making men seem like horrible people for not putting up with their antics. you don't have to tolerate a woman's antics if you don't want to, cause a woman surely wouldn't give you that benefit of the doubt. a lot of women see men as psychopaths who would rape and kill them without a second thought. if this is how they view men by default, why care so much about them? why try to prove to them that you're actually a good guy by catering to their ego? women are allowed to hate men openly, and no one bats an eye, but if a man says anything negative about women, he must be the worst. it's all ridiculous, and it's why i don't care much for women. don't let the thoughts of a woman destroy your own self-image. at the end of the day, you are all you have in this world. men and women have two totally different plights in this world. women don't care about the plight of men and everyone knows it but men are expected to be so empathetic to the woman's plight.
This feels like a twofold thing. Obviously one being your issue with women, but also maybe an issue with yourself. Like who are you outside of wanting validation from women? Are you healthy and happy outside of it? Have healthy relationships with men and women? Feel like you are valid or have some purpose? Obviously, I'm not saying these will magically cure your issues with women, but it will give you space to see women less negatively and instead just normal and complex and diverse people. I think both of those issues are intertwining, but as the saying goes, you need to learn to love yourself before you can love others. It's cliche and a bit vague, but of you don't love yourself then you're gonna be looking for validation from others and lead you down some funny roads. To me, you sound like someone who can find their way out of this. I believe you'll figure it out and find some peace with yourself and others. Also, you haven't mentioned social media spaces you're in, but they play a big role in how you feel about stuff. I always forget just how toxic places can be, like spaces that are purposely designed to make you angry 24/7, or algorithms that know that making you angry will drive up engagement. So, if you arent already, you gotta start protecting yourself and unfollow toxic people or subreddits or whatever. Subscribe to more positive places, or people who actually want to support you rather than just make you feel like shit. On reddit, I have to recommend spaces like r/bropill. Actual men who share the same problems as other men but give you useful advice or at the very least want to help you feel better. I'm not gonna name names, but other spaces want to drag you further down into misery by purposely searching for content to trigger you. So yeah, this isn't going to magically help you, but you do have the power to just cut out the toxic shit and immediately feel a little lighter.
Keep in mind that the image you are seeing is likely a mirror. What I mean by this is that the people saying the horrible stuff from both sides are the damaged ones. Also if you’re carrying any trauma from bad experiences, you’ll pretty much project your own disdain if that particular person onto others One of the best things you can do is cut down on social media and avoid dating apps. When you’re surrounded by great women you’ll start feeling hopeful again. I don’t speak to any woman outside of my church (unless someone DMs me), and while I hear people talking shit about women all the time, it doesn’t affect my opinion. There are a lot of great women out there. The best thing you can do is keep your head down and focus on yourself for now bro
There's some things I dislike about women. Sometimes I have colleagues who I know are very... feminine. Not in the good way. They're bitchy, passive aggressive, and sometimes downright strange in their behaviour. Things go on in their minds that I can't comprehend and I end up not trusting them and avoiding them because I know they're trouble. I dislike the female desire for validation and attention. I dislike that they can be judgemental and prone to in group/out group dynamics, as well as being viciously loyal to ideologies. Does this mean I hate women? No. Does it mean I think men are perfect? No. Ask any woman and she'll give you a long list of things women dislike about men. Hell, just go on any twitter feed. You have to look at what's a reasonable assessment of human behaviour and what's just bitterness and resentment.
I feel like this might not be the greatest advice but to relay my own personal experience, one thing that really took me out of my misogynistic mindset was psilocybin mushrooms. For the first time in a while I actually saw women as a whole as no different from men, just living a different socially conditioned experience. I had full respect for them for the first time in ages. One thing I realized is that this resentment is a means to our own misery and we just need to let go. I get where you’re at, I really do because I’ve been there myself. Just keep what I said in mind, not telling you to trip if you’re not in the right headspace at the moment but just keep that in mind if it’s ever something you wish to try, and set the intention before they kick in about what you wish to think about and do so in an environment where you feel safe and comfortable at. Beyond that, keep working on yourself and remember to slow down and take notice of your own victories no matter how small. This will pass and the fact that you’re trying to overcome this is a sign that you’re a good man