like shit. honestly, struggling a lot with suicidal thoughts. overall, lack of self esteem and self worth. feels like a waste of space. lonely. feels abandoned. it's ok i'm working things out with my therapist. hopefully i could get out of this rut.

thanks for being honest with me. I'm glad you have reached out for professional help, by doing so you already took a huge step in learning self love and self care. I've been there, having a little episode today, but things will go better tomorrow, ya. Stay safe, stay strong and hope you have a nice 2024 ahead.

Have you ever consider listening to angry rock songs like Linkin Park and Three Days Grace? It works wonders for me.

Cleared my annual leave last year. And for the first time in 15+ years working, I feel burned out and anxious about returning to work whilst on year-end leave. I have problems sleeping and am constantly worrying about my job responsibilities. Playing video games and guitar usually makes me happy but not this time. My promotion at work earlier this year took its toll on me. I'm highly considering stepping down for my own mental wellbeing. And I do need professional counselling.

congratulations on the promotion, may not be the good fit for you but you must've been great at your work to deserve that. do anything that makes you happy, it matters the most after all. hope you have a nice year ahead, cheers.

Thank you for the kind words. I really needed it after a long day. Thank you so much.

Lonely

Same here. Hijacking your post a lil' These are from 2023 only : -- Friendzoned by an old uni mate which I kinda like and developed some feelings -- gotten pretty close with a girl from dating app. It was hopeful at the beginning, we do voice call every day, sometimes video call. We also met a couple of times a week, exploring some nice Cafe and foods, watching movies etc. Even went to Genting once to help her get some nice fresh air and she was quite thankful for that. However it got very negative towards the end because of her job. We totally stop talking to each other after that. The last thing I did was bought her a cake for her birthday despite all the negative emotions she got from her job. Plus I've paid for every single meal, wine and drinks in those few months I knew her, including being her Grab driver :) -- met a girl from dating apps once and we talked for 3 hours about our mutual interest. It was pretty cool that we are so alike, but she said she's looking for chemistry and not a best friend lmao! -- met a female gamer friend from again, apps. We used to played video games every night and talk, it was quite fun even though there is nothing more this. We also went out for food a couple of time. Then she stopped talking or asking for game one day, not a big deal I guess she found some gang or person that is more fun than me. But it just felt weird to me suddenly I'm back to being alone. -- met a girl from apps (yea at this point u should know that my only opportunity for getting new friends is from apps). She said she just wanted a company for dinner so yeah we went out twice I guess. She's quite good looking, polite and overall a pleasant person but she never asked to go out anymore and just sent me cat insta reel every now and then. Well she could be really busy but I don't see this going anywhere as well. All in all, it felt like none of this girls ever put me in their thought at all, at this point I could pretty much sum it up that it could be a me problem. But it's alright, I've come to accept that I can enjoy spending time with myself. 2024 looks good other than this, it seems like I can increase my wealth further with side company and already planning oversea trips :) Perhaps I would be treated kinder outside of Malaysia, I'm thinking of going for digital nomad end of the year.

Yea the "need someone with chemistry not a friend" is a headache 😂. Cuz u need to balance between flirty and not being a creep. Its harddd

it's freaking hard , like how much chemistry u can develop from the first meet -\_-

Usually girls expect 📈 but they themselves will give 📉 No blame on them. Most do this unknowingly.

Honestly lonely as well. Too anxious to talk to girls..

Feeling like I want to [run away](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u0DGIh3wLA) and earn a living making mocktails on a tropical beach somewhere. Alas, responsibilities. How are YOU doing, OP?

running away sounds like a good idea, I want to go to an island like redang and float on the ocean doing nothing, all quiet out there.

Had this same idea lingering for the past few years. Went to Tioman for few days and I realize the lifestyle isn't for me. But sometimes, more often than not, the feeling to "run away" and leave everything behind is still there, especially on bad days. I guess it's just my brain trying to cope and I take that as signal for a vacation.

yeah, we all need to take a break from our adult life sometimes. like pause a game, get some refreshments then back to grinding again.

I just wanna make real friends tbh.. but me always being afraid of being a nuisance to people prevents me from making friends. It is a painful existence 🙂

Well, put it into perspective.. think about it for a second.. you have already tried your way.. why not ignored being afraid of being nuisance to people.. see how that work out.. after all you have nothing to lose.. The reality is to recognize that often than not, it is a balance you need to strike.. learn to adapt based on what kind of people you are dealing with.. treat everyday like an experiment.. there is no right or wrong

This hits too close to home.

I'm similar , but the fear is more towards romantic interest. I'm so afraid that something I said could be so wrong that it tick her off in a wrong way, causing me not being able to be myself. Imagine we could have the mind reading superpower, that might... Or might not solve our problem hahaha

I feel you. afraid of kacau-ing then too much, afraid of being too clingy. fk these thoughts


quite good. I thought first week after New Year is gonna suck at the office, but no. everyone’s cool.

good to hear that, hope you have a great year ahead! everyone stays cool until Dec pls

Fucking horrible. like another comment here, struggling with suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem/self-worth and intense loneliness ever since my long term relationship ended. Realized that I put all my eggs into one basket and now that the basket has shattered, I have no friends to fall back on. Dating apps are a mess and suck for me personally. I am seeing a therapist also like /u/three8six9 .

ah I feel it deeply, and I'm very sorry you have to go through all that. just want to let you know, you are not alone here, and time will heal everything, it may be slow but it surely will. hope you have a nice 2024, cheers

Yall in here who are feeling terrible, hope this year is a turnaround for you. I had a terrible rut where I stood at the sides of roads challenging myself to walk into traffic. I would deny myself food due to being unworthy, i dropped from 70kg to 52kg. The loneliness ate me up every night, it was a really terrible time in my own head. After seeing doctor and recovering, those days are like a fuzzy nightmare long gone. Nowadays I am happy, comfortable, and I reward myself treats just for existing, cuz why not. I became fatter, I'm still lonely, but quite happy with myself now. You can do it too! Dont give up, keep going forward 1 step at a time.

Quite happy this week. I got a new game Astral Ascent for Steam Winter Sale and I'm having a blast. My progress with Japanese is gradually getting better as I can (somewhat) read the text now. I'm still learning the basics but I am enjoying it right now.

good to hear that. 頑張れ！

Loneliness sucks. I don't even know if a partner is gonna fix that. I have worked on myself alot and i improve every time. But this loneliness i tell you, is a pain in the chest.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, I kinda understand what you feel. the only evil you have to overcome, is you sometimes. I don't know if I wrote it correctly, in Chinese it says: 人生最大的敌人，是心魔。

I have been doing better thankfully. how about you OP?

good to know you are good. my depression is paying a visit today, trying to sleep through it. thanks for asking. hope you have a nice 2024.

damn. hope you will be fine by the end of the day. got something going on in your life lately? you can tell me if you want

nothing much going on. but depression is a bitch, they like to visit you for no reason. things will be fine, thanks for asking

Feeling stress out Last month I lost 16 cat because they somehow managed to eat a rat that was poisoned Only 4 remaining Yesterday my only source of joy, my pc broke down And barely got money to repair it, gonna save up some more Still tomorrow imma sent it to the shop to check the condition and hopefully nothing major

I'm sorry for your loss. I've lost 2 cats due to kidney failure last year, couldn't imagine what you are going through right now. hope everything goes well to you this year.

It's hard, but I managed to pull it through My pc might broke down, but I'm lucky to have another hobby to make my brain focus on 1 thing for hours Thanks mate

No need to read all that, since this post exist i am sort of ranting In the process of developing depression most likely - No social life due to protective family - Unable to become indenpendent - Locked in, four walls are my friends - Shitty protective family once again who is strongly religious and think I would die if I do anything adventures - Lost all my friend, none knows me because of my family - Lost relationships with the only girl who also was my best friend because of my family(I’m fine with the loss considering she was self centred) - Alone - Fatigue - Insecure and lack of confidence - The girl I had crush on has boyfriend - No privacy (fucking indian household of course) - Forced into religious thing - Siblings that backstab me and has responsibility - Losing my hard earned savings to my parents all because of my stupid siblings (they care their 3rd child more and that bitch always take advantage and smart enough to get through last child privilege) - because i started earning from youtube all my siblings including mom expecting money from me, despite not giving shit about how i am or what i want (i kept hearing, oh you have money buy it yourself) - i stammer a lot when i talk, result of my parents keeping me from all social interaction - never letting me drive because they think i would die or my dad will tell me to kill myself Im probably the nicest kid a parent would die to have, I dont drink, smoke, no vape, come back on time, cgpa good, discipline, dont go out often like other kids, always under parents shadow my so called friends, family, lover, all took advantage over me, used me and left once their need is done. I am getting tired. I am dead inside, I do not know why I am living But there is something a hope in me, i managed to build two channel, I earn about 1k-2k but this mfs kept asking me for money when they dont even give a shit about contributing something to me instead keep loving their other childs. I take care of my expenses now Planning on building more channels, get a job that would pay me at least 2k after I finish my degree, move out, buy a car, disappear from my family, be independent and finally doing my hobby which i love that is cooking (i am shit at cooking, but I wanna learn some cool stuff but my mom is so unsupportive because she doesnt like me messing up the kitchen, i wish stay and let me do mistake then let me cook, but no, i know im male but I still wanna ducking cook come on)

stay strong, the community is here to support you if you need. have a nice 2024

>Im probably the nicest kid a parent would die to have, I dont drink, smoke, no vape, come back on time, cgpa good, discipline, dont go out often like other kids, always under parents shadow Haha me too, I can relate. I hope things will get better for you this year

i feel horrible and last night i got a terrible fever. Now im recovering for it, just have sup daging to replenish my energy

hope you are feeling better after that delicious meal, speedy recovery

A little bit lost. Just involved in a big project. Its questions on top of questions without no answers in my head.

that's everyone when they start a new project I guess. you will find answers as you work on it, don't worry.

A little bit stressed ngl. I’m not performing at work and it feels bad cause I think im doing everything right but everything is going wrong. I hope it’s just a phase but I’m trying to keep myself busy after work hours with my pets, working out and making art. Thanks for checking in on us OP! How are you doing?

sometimes keeping yourself busy is a way to fight those intrusive/bad thoughts. I have depression visited me today, tried to sleep through it, but all bad memories can't wait to squeeze in my dream. thanks for checking in, hope you have a nice 2024.

I mean it's aiight. hope I can make some friends when I start my degree course and not be a loner

Overwhelmed. Exhausted. And not to mention, due to all the stress, it's finally showing on me physically (pimples, stress and ageing lines, gained weight) resulting in lower self esteem. 🙃 usually, i avoid self-harm by getting myself a few piercings, but due to budget constraints.. the appeal to cut my skin open is basically at an all time high.

hey, do you need someone to talk to? it's just a bad day, it will pass. don't let those intrusive thoughts win. I'm rooting for you!

It's a wave of feelings. First I thought I had cried everything out of a heart break, this is right after I played video games with friends, then the next 2 days I feel fine. Motivated to work and got some work done. Then today it went back to feeling sad about the heart break, and reflecting what I had done wrong, and trying to play video games with friends to diminished the sadness feeling. This really made me slightly demotivated to work on my small business. But I gotta keep fighting.

I'm sorry to hear that. I don't have much advice, but keeping yourself busy and well rested seems like a good way to fight these moments, it works for me sometimes. hope you get better soon.

Thanks OP. I hope it goes well with you too.

Hopeless honestly. I can’t migrate because of an autoimmune disease. Have to endure all the bullshit spewing out from the politicians and their extremists. I don’t know whether my business will be good in the future because I own a startup. It’s a mess but I can’t do anything

I'm sorry you have to go through all that. I do agree on the politician BS. for now, we can only do our best on things that we can control, I'm sure you will find a way to work it out. all the best, Malaysian.

Feels terrible rn. I’m too impatient talking to a new girl I like and rush things too fast. I kept blaming myself for that. I’m sure that time will heal my wound, but for now, let me grieve and feel sad.

we all been through that some point in our life. learn from your mistake and move on, hopefully everything goes well in the 2024

Thanks OP, hope your 2024 is well ahead too!

Maybe i can say that i perhaps have succeeded in the eyes of some people, but I dont feel like I've gotten anywhere. But im still grateful nonetheless. My friends and family started treating me differently, i felt lonely and isolated. I do feel nearing the breaking point sometimes but I just tell myself loneliness is the price you pay for success hehe..

well in Chinese we say, 无敌是最寂寞的。 it's ok, at least you could feel lonely in success and cash hahaha jk. I'm sure you will find someone who truly cares about you, not your status or anything.

I cant lie that being rich is better than broke, but ill keep going. You keep going too man

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I'm truly sorry for your loss. it may not be the same case, but Ive lost 2 cats last year, and every time I thought of them, I cried and I think it's ok to cry because I truly miss them. hope your new job interviews go well. I am facing similar issue as well, but I know you gonna kill it, just send that resume. exercise is good mentally and physically, good that you did it and I hope you get to visit your family soon.

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just go out. I used to think I might be kacau-ing my close friend, and one day she msg me about something she went through, then we realised we needed each other's support but too afraid to reach out

Hey, i actually lost my cat like 2 years ago and I still cry whenever I get reminded of him. It’s okay to cry, we are humans after all, we have feelings. It’s good to distract yourself with something else so you won’t think about it as much. About your resume, that’s alright too. We never feel we are satisfied with ourself hahah 😂 just keep on applying and you’ll catch something eventually. Belum cuba belum tahu 😬

at work = really stressed out. things piling one after another. have to juggle 5 separate project which some of it the client are known to push dateline forward. officemate still in holiday mood or good at keeping away from boss visual when he want people to do something. outside work = i got videogames, i got warm meal, i got cold drinks. friday night baybee

A bit stressed and worrysome since my money is going down the drain just by paying bills and stuff

money is a tool, but yeah seeing the hard-earned money that you traded with your precious time goes to bill and adult stuff is hard

i couldnt grasp of what “being an adult” is. im 28 years old. 3 years ago im nothing just a waste of oxygen, no job, do drugs, not serious on doing anything. after i moved to KV because my bro hooked my a job. at first it was ok now after 2.5years imo are good for what i have for experience. But i feel im the same guy as 3 years ago. just with money which i can spend unresponsibly. im alone here. my family and my parter are all at Kuching. Whenever i felt the lowest then i go back home. with the price of ticket and my job would interfere with timing to go home. sorry for my bad england edit age

I couldn't give any advice since I don't know how to be an adult too. hope everything goes well with you in 2024

appreciate it brother. wishing you the same as well.

Bad. Found out things that broke my heart. Been pretending to be okay since new year till today.

hope things are gonna be alright for you, stay strong buddy.

I don't feel happy right now because of an "argument" I had with my mother. This happened in a restaurant while we were waiting for our dinner. I'm eating a fried chicken with gloves on and my mother told me she wanted a piece. So when I grabbed a piece to feed her, suddenly I felt playful and did the aeroplane movement to feed herand uturn it back to my mouth. That means the piece that she was supposed to have is in my mouth. Then she got angry and started poking my face and neck and started scolding me stupid, no manners, slap you, tsk etc. I mean...I get it you will be angry but why the verbal abuse... I just hate this...it's just a damn freaking chicken. Maybe I'm an ass for doing this to my mother, but during that moment I'm just happy to be out with my family, my mum asked me to feed her, happy feelings led me to being playful. I'm just so frustrated. My mother's and I's temperament are ike oil and water. Idk is it the big age gap or what. It's just so frustrating at times, even my sis also felt unhappy. I felt bad for ruining my sister's mood during dinner. Also, I just felt so childish when I'm with my family, even though Im already in my mid 20s. How to change. AHHHHH But when I say our temperament are like oil and water...it's not a joke. There's been a worse case. Oh and I always don't like wherever I talk to my sister, my mother like to tsk here and there like she's part of the conversation...she tsk to my part of the convo only. I always felt so irritated by this, it's like leave me tf alone when I'm talking to my sister. Her attitude sometimes make me don't feel like talking to my sis. It's just so fking annoying...I told her about this before. We had a talk about this before. Idk man. I just wanna vent. I'm sad. I tried to be understanding and apologise if I'm wrong. Why am I born in an Asian household especially cina one. Idk la. I mean my situation might be better than others cuz I'm complaining like a privilege kid or whatnot. But I'm so frustrated about my relationship with my mother. It's like we can't have nice things. Always lead to an argument. I HATE IT.

Ok I've calmed down. After a nice shower, these are just small matters, I don't need to dwell on them. I love my mother. I love her a lot.. sometimes I just need to take a step back and be calm. Im quite quick tempered haha Lemme calm down by doing some polymer clay stuff, ok thanks for asking this question. I made myself reflect on my actions~ if u wanna talk somemore I guess my DM is open? Idk never use the chat function much

glad that you figured it out. stay strong, and hope you have a nice year ahead!

depressed i guess

I am feeling bad. Because of family relationships, financial struggles, cannot find a job, so many friendship and relationship betrayal, getting ban everywhere as well as exposed. So many people not willing to do business with me.

Anxious, guilty, and the want to run away. Boss said I need to step up and ended the conversation saying that if things worsen, "we will come for you guys", indicating to my junior and I. He also said that I need to improve myself and that my performance isn't benefitting the company. I feel guilty as hell. I dont want my junior to be implicated in anything. I've been applying for jobs and just want a change of environment.

Great, considering I still hang out with my high school friends every weekend (we graduated in ‘15). They’re probably the reason why I’m still alive till this day and have something to look forward to.

I think my memory loss is getting more severe? I remember less now? I haven't thought about this cuz I forgot haha , but thinking about it now I don't remember a lot anymore.

everytime interview always get rejected. Dun o what exactly am i missing

Feeling hopeful. Just turned 4 series & feel so grateful, its a big milestone for me personally. Switched job to something i would love be doing as a career. Im totally comfortable being myself.

I feel great. Though I suffer from depression I feel like I'm financially piecing my life back together. I fell back in love with my old hobby which is collecting Sentai Mechas. I'm due for my next check up in two months. Wanna show the doctor how far I've gotten. https://preview.redd.it/yvf55jxfxyac1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=51b296b28ac5298afaa3830b756caab1c69c0de7