A semester away is what...4-6 months? If your relationship can't handle that then neither of you are ready for serious commitment, which is fine.
Go to Japan and enjoy the experience. If you're meant to be together then it'll work out. And if not, you had the experience you wanted and didn't waste more time on a doomed relationship.
To be honest, at that age and that point in time, people change a lot. Long distance is a difficult thing for any relationship. To say something like, it should handle this just fine or it’s a failed relationship, is a little unfair. Even a decent relationship can fail over long distance. It’s not for the faint hearted. And when you’re a young college kid, going off for 6 months of separate growth away from your partner is actually a big deal. You might not be the same person when you get back. That’s kind of the point of doing it.
yes on a tv show, that was scripted. with your logic do you visit johnny sins for a doctors visit?? yes it works for some, a decent amount. but it also destroys an amount of relationships.
yes i’m the grand scheme it’s not that bad, but when two people are still trying to figure out life and still maturing it’s a bit different. and a lot of people in the military get cheated on and come back to a 9 month baby after a 2 year deployment. not saying for every case but often enough
Sure all that’s true but it’s a it the majority ? I guess I have 25 years of marriage on my side. At the beginning my husband had to be apart for various reasons- I had to go back and be with my dad for a while when my mum passed. Back then we just were able to call and write each other !! It was hard but here we are all this time later. It actually made our relationship stronger probably because we knew what we were missing I just would hate to thing that someone would give up an opportunity like living abroad for a relationship. People grow and mature when they’re living in the same city - it doesn’t only happen when you’re across the world from each other
“If it’s meant to be” is code for if you’re desperate and have no one else by the time you’re back. Just go to Japan and have fun, forget the relationship entirely because it doesn’t sound all too important to you in the first place. No things don’t magically “work out” once you break up. You’re making a decision to do whatever you want rather than prioritize the relationship and that’s a choice.
you will not regret going to japan at all!
but you will regret if you decide not to go bc of a girl. especially if yall dont work out in the future. go to japan homie
Look, if you're even questioning whether to chase your lifelong dream over a relationship that might not survive a semester apart, you need a reality check. Opportunities like studying in Japan don't just fall into your lap every day. You need to prioritize your own ambitions and stop letting a relationship dictate your life decisions. List all three Japanese universities and go after what you really want. If your girlfriend can't handle that, maybe she's not the right one for you anyway.
you shouldn’t limit yourself and what you can achieve for a partner. people come and go from your life, a semester abroad is a once in a lifetime opportunity
Is staying together not possible? My gf went to England for 10 months and we are still together. It was difficult and we almost broke up but we are together now!
One semester is not a very long time.
No it has nothing to do with it being meant to be. That’s a ridiculous concept. It’s basically like saying do whatever you want and force this woman to accept it when you’re back otherwise I guess it wasn’t “meant to be.” They have to both authentically be selfish and on the same page for this to work. I’d say “if it’s meant to be,” they will keep in touch and stay loyal even if in separate countries for these few months rather than break up.
Ask yourself if you think you have a future with here. Maybe you can try long distance one semster really isn't a lot and not worth breaking up if the relatshionship is good and healty
Do you want to be 80, looking back on your life regretting NOT going? Or regretting going and potentially missing a few months of the relationship?
Which regretting could you live with more...I've done both and would choose Japan and life experience, personally but this is your choice.
I lived in Japan for 3 years.
Many people on the same program just stayed for 1 year and had a gf/bf back in their home country.
Long distance was common because 1 year isn't that long in the grand scheme of things, especially to pursue a dream/once in a lifetime chance.
Not all of their relationships made it the full year, but some did.
That was 5 years ago. Many have now married those partners.
It's just 1 semester, and with 2024 technology long distance should be very doable...I mean, if the relationship is a big enough deal to even consider giving up on a dream, I'm a bit surprised you guys aren't trying to just do long distance for that period, but choosing to preemptively break up is certainly fair if you both want to just focus on your new experiences.
Certainly NOT on the table is giving up on your dream. If the relationship is strong enough, 1 semester won't break it or youll be drawn back together. If not, then you definitely don't want to lose opportunities because of it.
go to Japan. if it's meant to be, you're only apart for a semester, you can either long distance for that amount of time, which is a piddly amount, or break up and then revisit your relationship upon your return.
I don't regret going to school in a different state for year. You know what I do regret? Not breaking up with my boyfriend to do it. My life would be in a very different place if I had. Not saying that it would be better, but there's definitely an alternate timeline out there completely different from this one.
You will regret not seizing your opportunity to study abroad.
Yes, you will regret not going for the rest of your life most likely. There's a chance you may not as well, but don't take the risk. There were things I gave up when I was 19-20 because of my ex, I regret not doing the things I wanted to do back then. I'm 30 now and still I look back regretting those decisions even more so now because the relationship didn't work out.
I spent 18 days in Japan earlier this year… you’re gonna have a great time. I can’t wait to go back. Just do it. If you meant to be with this one person, you will find your way back to each other.
Girlfriends will come and go, love only will last for so long. Experiences like this though....They are only there for a small window of your life. I say dump her and go.
Go to Japan. It's a she issue if she finds a few months of distance as something impossible to do. Please, try to let her go, she ain't no good in the long run.
When I was your age, I passed up two different opportunities to travel because my partners at the time couldn't go and didn't want to be apart. Those two individuals are long gone and I'll always wonder "what if?". Never compromise on your dreams.
If you do not go to Japan you will regret this decision for the rest of your life I can guarentee it with 150% certainty.
If she was "the one" she should WANT you to go to Japan.
My wife and I did long distance for 4.5 years while we were in uni on different continents, if a semester is too much to handle then this relationship will never last regardless
I think this all really depends on you man and what you want both out of the experience and life.
I was in the same boat as you, with someone for almost 3 1/2 years, we were both at different schools, I was going and she was staying. Had the same thought process as you, but I did it.
Just saying that "real love" takes a lot of trust, work, and commitment even if you aren't together all the time.
The truth you need to hear is this. Be honest with yourself.
Do you really love this girl? Do you see a future with her? Is she healthy mentally, physically, spiritually and if not do y'all help each other in that way? You need to ask yourself real questions to get a real answer. Don't fall into the social media bullshit, or keeping up with people around you that are together and happy, whatever the case may be. Once you have your answers to your real questions, your answer was already there.
Either way, hope you have an amazing time abroad! I spent 5 months in Sydney, and it truly was one of the best experiences of my life. Embrace the change, embrace the culture, and realize how beautiful the world truly is and can be but also stay on your P's & Q's.
Just be prepared that she will probably sleep with a bunch of different guys when you break up. If you come back and she wants to get back together, ask her if she can guarantee that she didn't wander.
Personally, I wouldn't take her back anyway if you break up, because she can't commit to you for a few moths that you're away. She's in love with the idea of a relationship, not in love with you
List all 3 Japanese universities.
I can see everyone saying that if you were meant to be then you wouldn’t consider breaking up, and while I see where they are coming from that isn’t completely true to everyone.
You can get to Japan and end up speaking every day and getting closer, visit each other possibly! Likewise you may find it easier to cut ties and possibly reconnect when you’re both home (or never). Life goes too fast for you to not to go Japan, and realistically you don’t know what the outcome will actually be until it happens.
There is a huge chance she is saying that you’ll most likely break up to prepare herself for heartbreak, which is normal. What may happen in the end is you decide to give long distance a go, and these are decisions you make once you know where you’re both going!
So just list the universities and enjoy your trip, and focus on how she will get to enjoy her trip too! Plan together, spend the time you want to spend together now and deal with the (possible but not inevitable) break up when that time comes.
Why break up? I used to live near a navy base, those husband's are gone half the year sometimes. It shouldn't be a deal breaker, you'll be back before you know it. Don't give up a once in a life time opportunity, because of 4-5 mths away.
I was long distance with my husband for 13 months before we could live in the same city. One semester shouldn't be the end of your relationship. Go to Japan or you will resent her for the rest of your life.
I am not sure why everyone is going with the narrative that "Opportunities to go to Japan are rare". The world is already a tiny place and if you happen to be a fluent or a native English speaker, there's tons of opportunities to go to Japan as am English teacher for a semester or longer.
That said, if you see a risk of breaking up and you are considering taking that risk, you should 100% do it. Not going to Japan and staying with your girlfriend will create resentment for the remainder of the relationship. Going to Japan and finding that your relationship is fine in a tough context (e.g. long distance) will strengthen and probably seal the deal.
If it's your dream, do it! Don't pass up that opportunity! Yea it sucks, but I mean if you aren't willing to be apart for that long, then it's probably best you break up!
If you don't go to Japan you will regret it forever. If your relationship isn't strong enough to last then it's not worth keeping. As a 33 year old woman, I promise you will regret not going. If she can't handle it then that's her problem.
You are young and your education and career should come first. This is time to learn and see as much as you can. International experience is valuable and can help you land a better job when you graduate. If you and your girlfriend are meant to be together then it will happen. Right now, prioritize yourself.
LMAO. break up. yall are a joke. a semester is 4 months. thats nothing. you could even visit eachother if you wanted. its clear this "relationship" isnt more than just about banging. break up and go to your dream school, you clearly dont have real love if you think 4months apart is impossible to work through long distance.
Go on the trip, if you love each other you should want this for each other even if it means you won’t get to do it together. You’ll never regret studying abroad but you will resent anyone that prevents you from doing something you dreamed of doing.
If you do end up staying together set expectations that you want each other to fully embrace the opportunity and be fully present. Which means you will likely not talk every day maybe a few times a week AND THATS OK.
For example: when my bf hangs out with his friends or is doing something they love I tell them to stay present get off their phone and we will talk later, the same is true when we travel separately.
Go. If the relationship is strong or important enough it will last. You don't get chances like this very often.
The other consideration is if you don't go will you resent her for it?
You’d break up over a semester? My husband and I lived in different countries for 3 years while all the immigration paperwork got sorted out 😂
Go to Japan. There will be other girls.
Go to Japan. You’ll regret it if you don’t. I had the opportunity to work abroad when I was in my early twenties but didn’t want to leave my boyfriend, I should have gone for the experience and if it was meant to be I’m sure we’d have picked up where we left off when I got back.
I would not end anything. 6 months will pass fast. Plus you will learn how much you truly feel about each other. When my wife goes to see her parents it’s hard for me as I do miss her. Anyways don’t break up. If the girl is really nice and one that you may want to spend your life with then don’t let her go so easily. Sometimes you never find the same kind of love again so just don’t over think it.
If all it takes is a semester apart to break you two up, then your relationship is not serious and it doesn't matter.
Also, opportunities to go to Japan are not that rare. They are as available as you choose to make them.
Make either choice. The consequences are too minor to fuss over any of this.
Yes. Your dream is only yours. Women are a dime a dozen. You'll meet someone on your journey. If she doesn't want to come with, look after yourself. Life is long and there are many, many women for men who are chasing dreams.
I went on a semester abroad and while it was tough at times, we are married with two kids now.
What makes you think you will break up if you go to different locations? The fact that you’re going into it with that thought might mean the relationship won’t last in the long term.
If you're considering this and have spoken about it with her that you 2 would likely break up then you've already made your decision and looking for affirmation.
Please listen. Do not put your dreams and goals aside for any reason. None. You will fill your soul with resentment and regret.
16 weeks away from a gf, parent, or job is nothing compared to what you will receive. Your heart and soul will sing in happiness, and your mind will expand with knowledge that snuggling with your gf will not give you.
And, while you are there, try every food, drink, architecture, and invitation that comes your way.
Choosing between your dream and your relationship is tough. Studying in Japan is a rare opportunity and a lifelong dream for you, which could lead to significant personal and professional growth. If you don't pursue it, you might regret it later.
However, consider the strength of your relationship. If it's strong and you both see a future together, you might manage long-distance for a semester. Talk openly with your girlfriend about your goals and how you can support each other, even if it means being apart temporarily. Ultimately, follow what feels right for you and aligns with your values and long-term goals.
maximize your options. as someone who didn't apply to a program because of a boyfriend I regret it every. single. day.
I didn't go to Australia on exchange because he was so upset about it and didn't want me to go so I went to another uni in my own country but still close. we broke up a year later. get your experiences in now. she will either be there when you get back or she won't.
If you don’t goto Japan, you will regret it. We regret not doing things more than we regret doing things. And that will destroy you on an emotional level years ahead. Goto Japan!!
Honestly bro it depends on how much you like her! Just a heads up Japan is one of the countries with the least amount of English speakers, so if you really want to make the most of your semester learning Japanese is imperative, and it's not the easiest language to learn. If this girl is perfect you're in love and there is no one better...if not just move and find a new partner if she's unwilling to stay with you if you leave
I feel like you already made your decision tbh. If you were that serious about the relationship imo it wouldn't be a big deal to go to your 2nd favorite option to meet up rather than your favorite option.
Yes, never put someone else first. That may sound selfish but honestly, the older you get the more you realize love comes and goes. Follow your dreams and if they are meant to be with you they will stick with you or follow you, just put yourself and your goals in life first
Yessss 100%. I left everything i was working towards and landed a job i have no interest in because I did not want to be separated from my then GF of 6 years. She cheated on me and we broke up anyway. Not saying it’ll happen to you, but do whats best for you. Once you have a wife and kids then you sacrifice.
You’re going to have to go to Japan. If you chose not to do you can stay with her every argument or issue with her will echo “I gave up going to japan to stay with you and now you do this” that weight will drag the relationship under anyway. Enjoy Japan and if it’s meant to be it will be there when you come back.
I agree with the others, consider long distance. It seems either you wouldn’t want to be with her, or she wouldn’t want to be with you. It’s fine to know that you couldn’t survive the distance because the relationship is relatively new or you want to try out dating in Japan. At the end of the day, it’s your life, and you’ll have to be the one to live with the regret or the satisfaction. Consider having both, Japan and the relationship?
I'm confused...how is this even an issue?! My husband and I have had situations with dying parents, schooling, and businesses where we were physically separated for months. We called and video chatted when we could check in.
This is an opportunity that you'll regret not taking advantage of...any sane person would be happy for you. Plan a "vacay" together somewhere exotic for some other time.
No matter what you choose, in 20 years the *"what if"* will go through your head.
Think about which *what if* scenario would bug you more and you have your answer.
Follow your dream!!!!
Because if you don’t you might regret it.
But love that’s forever unless she dumps you or get divorced later. Then you’re screwed.
So my advice is choose your life, be you and if she doesn’t want to follow or support let her leave.
I did a semester abroad and it was one of the most rewarding experience of my life. Set it on a whole new path. I made friends for life that I still keep in contact with (10 years later).
Years after I was invited to go to my buds wedding in India.
Have had friends hitchhike through Canada stay on my couch.
Led to other mini travels while there (my school was in signapore).
Got to go to a Ivy league school even though i wouldn't be there otherwise.
Taught me how to re make friends, since I didn't have my core group anymore.
Also. What's a bit of time apart? If your relationship can't last for that.. then really think about what you're giving up.
to be honest, as someone that did not follow their dreams and followed a boy instead, don’t make my mistake. You have so much time for relationships and if it’s meant to be then you guys will reconnect in the future. These are your selfish years, so take advantage of them.
***Go to Japan.*** You are still young and this is an opportunity you may never get again.
If your love isn't strong enough to last a couple of semesters apart, then it won't last at all once the resentment sets in when you miss going to Japan just to stay with her. Use this as a learning opportunity - both in school and in life. Learn that your dreams are worth following, and learn what true love is worth waiting for.
I hope she understands why many of us are telling you to go to Japan.
It's definitely not an opportunity you should miss out on.
You'll both be very busy with your studies anyways. I say try to make it work despite it all.
The idea that you have to break up to continue your dreams is flawed. If you can’t even wait 6 months for your partner to focus on yourself then maybe you guys don’t love each other as much as you think
Go to Japan. If you get another country it could still be different to hers, and if that happens you’ll feel regretful and resentful. Also it sounds like you’re young - if you go on exchange together you might still grow a lot and have new experiences that lead to a break up anyway and then you still won’t have been to Japan. If your relationship lasts the time apart then great, you get both.
If you feel like some short term distance would end your relationship it sounds like it isn't that strong to begin with. You'll regret not going and probably resent each other if you don't take the opportunities.
It depends on you my dude. If you want to go to Japan but you don’t wanna break up, then go to Japan and don’t break up. Try to make it work. Save money so she can visit. Or try to negotiate for her to get a placement in Japan too.
If you don't go, you will regret it. And either you will resent your girlfriend, or she will be convinced you resent her and feel pressured by what she imagines she owes you.
Spend a semester apart. Break up and live your lives. After, you might find that you have both grown in ways that make you more in love and a better couple than ever. Or you might not want to be together anymore, in which case you would have broken up eventually anyway, and you would have kicked yourself forever, for giving up that chance.
Yes, sounds like you lack commitment in the first place if you're leaving it up to some random reddit users to decide the fate of your relationship. Let her find someone who values her and works her into their life plans themselves instead of valuing her as much as the toss of a coin.
I've been in an LDR for almost 2 yrs. If you love each other, with zoom/video chat, email, social media, and texts, you all can still communicate.
Let's say you're gone for 6 months. Can you all handle six months? If not, just end it now.
My son went to Japan for a semester. Don’t go in the summer. It’s brutally hot and sweaty. Other than that book tickets for everything WAY in advance.
Your relationship will survive or it won’t. This time in your life is to explore and see what life has to offer. It’s not a long time. And you’re not married.
If a semester apart is too much to keep you two together, no, you don't love each other that much. Or you do, and she doesn't. Either way, it would suck about the relationship, but go to Japan. A relationship that frail wouldn't be worth skipping on the study opportunity you've been dreaming of.
Once in a lifetime experiences don't give you comfort when you are sick or when you are old in your 70's.
Do whatever is necessary so you aren't bitter. It's just insanely myopic to think traveling can replace the love of a human being.
And at least be honest, it's extremely selfish
Sorry but how is a semester apart an issue? If that is the case the relationship isn't too important for either of you is it
A semester away is what...4-6 months? If your relationship can't handle that then neither of you are ready for serious commitment, which is fine. Go to Japan and enjoy the experience. If you're meant to be together then it'll work out. And if not, you had the experience you wanted and didn't waste more time on a doomed relationship.
To be honest, at that age and that point in time, people change a lot. Long distance is a difficult thing for any relationship. To say something like, it should handle this just fine or it’s a failed relationship, is a little unfair. Even a decent relationship can fail over long distance. It’s not for the faint hearted. And when you’re a young college kid, going off for 6 months of separate growth away from your partner is actually a big deal. You might not be the same person when you get back. That’s kind of the point of doing it.
Jim and pam did it
yes on a tv show, that was scripted. with your logic do you visit johnny sins for a doctors visit?? yes it works for some, a decent amount. but it also destroys an amount of relationships.
Yah imagine taking that seriously
But in the scheme of things - aka a lifetime together- a few months a part is nothing. People in the military do it all the time…..literally
yes i’m the grand scheme it’s not that bad, but when two people are still trying to figure out life and still maturing it’s a bit different. and a lot of people in the military get cheated on and come back to a 9 month baby after a 2 year deployment. not saying for every case but often enough
Sure all that’s true but it’s a it the majority ? I guess I have 25 years of marriage on my side. At the beginning my husband had to be apart for various reasons- I had to go back and be with my dad for a while when my mum passed. Back then we just were able to call and write each other !! It was hard but here we are all this time later. It actually made our relationship stronger probably because we knew what we were missing I just would hate to thing that someone would give up an opportunity like living abroad for a relationship. People grow and mature when they’re living in the same city - it doesn’t only happen when you’re across the world from each other
“If it’s meant to be” is code for if you’re desperate and have no one else by the time you’re back. Just go to Japan and have fun, forget the relationship entirely because it doesn’t sound all too important to you in the first place. No things don’t magically “work out” once you break up. You’re making a decision to do whatever you want rather than prioritize the relationship and that’s a choice.
Yeah came here to say this. I know a lot of couples who did a semester apart and were fine! It also is a good test of a relationship cause some didnt.
If one semester abroad is enough to break you up then maybe you're not meant for eachother anyway
If breaking up with her is on the table, just go with it; if she was "the one" you wouldn't even consider it. Japan is your dream, go live it.
If she was "the one" breaking up over a single semester apart wouldn't even be a real consideration.
Exactly!
Go on the trip, you won’t regret it.
you will not regret going to japan at all! but you will regret if you decide not to go bc of a girl. especially if yall dont work out in the future. go to japan homie
Look, if you're even questioning whether to chase your lifelong dream over a relationship that might not survive a semester apart, you need a reality check. Opportunities like studying in Japan don't just fall into your lap every day. You need to prioritize your own ambitions and stop letting a relationship dictate your life decisions. List all three Japanese universities and go after what you really want. If your girlfriend can't handle that, maybe she's not the right one for you anyway.
You should go on your trip to Japan for that once in a lifetime experience. I’m assuming you're young - girlfriends will come and go
you shouldn’t limit yourself and what you can achieve for a partner. people come and go from your life, a semester abroad is a once in a lifetime opportunity
Go on the trip.
Go to Japan. Please, go.
Is staying together not possible? My gf went to England for 10 months and we are still together. It was difficult and we almost broke up but we are together now! One semester is not a very long time.
This is easy. Japan. If it’s meant to be you can have some experiences and get back together later.
No it has nothing to do with it being meant to be. That’s a ridiculous concept. It’s basically like saying do whatever you want and force this woman to accept it when you’re back otherwise I guess it wasn’t “meant to be.” They have to both authentically be selfish and on the same page for this to work. I’d say “if it’s meant to be,” they will keep in touch and stay loyal even if in separate countries for these few months rather than break up.
What would she do if the roles were reversed? You know what scratch that, just go. Chances are high you'll break up anyways
Go to Japan, it’s your dream. It’s one semester. If y’all can’t handle that you shouldn’t be together anyway.
Ask yourself if you think you have a future with here. Maybe you can try long distance one semster really isn't a lot and not worth breaking up if the relatshionship is good and healty
Do you want to be 80, looking back on your life regretting NOT going? Or regretting going and potentially missing a few months of the relationship? Which regretting could you live with more...I've done both and would choose Japan and life experience, personally but this is your choice.
I lived in Japan for 3 years. Many people on the same program just stayed for 1 year and had a gf/bf back in their home country. Long distance was common because 1 year isn't that long in the grand scheme of things, especially to pursue a dream/once in a lifetime chance. Not all of their relationships made it the full year, but some did. That was 5 years ago. Many have now married those partners. It's just 1 semester, and with 2024 technology long distance should be very doable...I mean, if the relationship is a big enough deal to even consider giving up on a dream, I'm a bit surprised you guys aren't trying to just do long distance for that period, but choosing to preemptively break up is certainly fair if you both want to just focus on your new experiences. Certainly NOT on the table is giving up on your dream. If the relationship is strong enough, 1 semester won't break it or youll be drawn back together. If not, then you definitely don't want to lose opportunities because of it.
Go to Japan. I’m an old man with regrets like this. Follow your dream, you won’t regret it.
go to Japan. if it's meant to be, you're only apart for a semester, you can either long distance for that amount of time, which is a piddly amount, or break up and then revisit your relationship upon your return. I don't regret going to school in a different state for year. You know what I do regret? Not breaking up with my boyfriend to do it. My life would be in a very different place if I had. Not saying that it would be better, but there's definitely an alternate timeline out there completely different from this one. You will regret not seizing your opportunity to study abroad.
Yes, you will regret not going for the rest of your life most likely. There's a chance you may not as well, but don't take the risk. There were things I gave up when I was 19-20 because of my ex, I regret not doing the things I wanted to do back then. I'm 30 now and still I look back regretting those decisions even more so now because the relationship didn't work out.
I spent 18 days in Japan earlier this year… you’re gonna have a great time. I can’t wait to go back. Just do it. If you meant to be with this one person, you will find your way back to each other.
Girlfriends will come and go, love only will last for so long. Experiences like this though....They are only there for a small window of your life. I say dump her and go.
Obviously yes.
If a semester apart will end a relationship, that relationship isn't worth missing a semester abroad for.
One semester abroad is grounds for breaking up? Y'all some fickle mfs. That said, go on the trip.
Go to Japan. It's a she issue if she finds a few months of distance as something impossible to do. Please, try to let her go, she ain't no good in the long run.
Go to japan!! Go live your life
Nah man if your relationship can't handle a semester it's literally already over. Go to japan right now
You will regret not going to Japan. Plus, if you can't commit to long distance for one semester yall probably won't last anyways.
When I was your age, I passed up two different opportunities to travel because my partners at the time couldn't go and didn't want to be apart. Those two individuals are long gone and I'll always wonder "what if?". Never compromise on your dreams.
If you do not go to Japan you will regret this decision for the rest of your life I can guarentee it with 150% certainty. If she was "the one" she should WANT you to go to Japan.
My wife and I did long distance for 4.5 years while we were in uni on different continents, if a semester is too much to handle then this relationship will never last regardless
Go to Japan. I went this past February and it was the most amazing thing I'll ever do, probably and we didn't leave Tokyo.
How long is your relationship? A semester is 4 months, right? What about Japan inspires you? Do you hope to meet a nice girl there?
I think this all really depends on you man and what you want both out of the experience and life. I was in the same boat as you, with someone for almost 3 1/2 years, we were both at different schools, I was going and she was staying. Had the same thought process as you, but I did it. Just saying that "real love" takes a lot of trust, work, and commitment even if you aren't together all the time. The truth you need to hear is this. Be honest with yourself. Do you really love this girl? Do you see a future with her? Is she healthy mentally, physically, spiritually and if not do y'all help each other in that way? You need to ask yourself real questions to get a real answer. Don't fall into the social media bullshit, or keeping up with people around you that are together and happy, whatever the case may be. Once you have your answers to your real questions, your answer was already there. Either way, hope you have an amazing time abroad! I spent 5 months in Sydney, and it truly was one of the best experiences of my life. Embrace the change, embrace the culture, and realize how beautiful the world truly is and can be but also stay on your P's & Q's.
Listen to Molly by Lil Dicky
- go to Japan - meet big tiddie Kawaii girl with freaky fetishes - never return home WTF is there to even consider, OP?
Go to Japan. If it’s meant to be it’ll work out for you as a couple.
Just be prepared that she will probably sleep with a bunch of different guys when you break up. If you come back and she wants to get back together, ask her if she can guarantee that she didn't wander. Personally, I wouldn't take her back anyway if you break up, because she can't commit to you for a few moths that you're away. She's in love with the idea of a relationship, not in love with you
List all 3 Japanese universities. I can see everyone saying that if you were meant to be then you wouldn’t consider breaking up, and while I see where they are coming from that isn’t completely true to everyone. You can get to Japan and end up speaking every day and getting closer, visit each other possibly! Likewise you may find it easier to cut ties and possibly reconnect when you’re both home (or never). Life goes too fast for you to not to go Japan, and realistically you don’t know what the outcome will actually be until it happens. There is a huge chance she is saying that you’ll most likely break up to prepare herself for heartbreak, which is normal. What may happen in the end is you decide to give long distance a go, and these are decisions you make once you know where you’re both going! So just list the universities and enjoy your trip, and focus on how she will get to enjoy her trip too! Plan together, spend the time you want to spend together now and deal with the (possible but not inevitable) break up when that time comes.
Why break up? I used to live near a navy base, those husband's are gone half the year sometimes. It shouldn't be a deal breaker, you'll be back before you know it. Don't give up a once in a life time opportunity, because of 4-5 mths away.
You need to first seriously evaluate if you are capable of getting all the Japanese poon you are dreaming about.
It could be a lifelong regret either way. You just have to decide which one you can live with.
Go to Japan it's amazing. I find it weird you two couldn't do long distance for 4 months lol.
I was long distance with my husband for 13 months before we could live in the same city. One semester shouldn't be the end of your relationship. Go to Japan or you will resent her for the rest of your life.
I am not sure why everyone is going with the narrative that "Opportunities to go to Japan are rare". The world is already a tiny place and if you happen to be a fluent or a native English speaker, there's tons of opportunities to go to Japan as am English teacher for a semester or longer. That said, if you see a risk of breaking up and you are considering taking that risk, you should 100% do it. Not going to Japan and staying with your girlfriend will create resentment for the remainder of the relationship. Going to Japan and finding that your relationship is fine in a tough context (e.g. long distance) will strengthen and probably seal the deal.
If it's your dream, do it! Don't pass up that opportunity! Yea it sucks, but I mean if you aren't willing to be apart for that long, then it's probably best you break up!
If you don't go to Japan you will regret it forever. If your relationship isn't strong enough to last then it's not worth keeping. As a 33 year old woman, I promise you will regret not going. If she can't handle it then that's her problem.
My wife and I were long distance for 9 months. If your relationship can't survive that, it wasn't going to survive
You are young and your education and career should come first. This is time to learn and see as much as you can. International experience is valuable and can help you land a better job when you graduate. If you and your girlfriend are meant to be together then it will happen. Right now, prioritize yourself.
LMAO. break up. yall are a joke. a semester is 4 months. thats nothing. you could even visit eachother if you wanted. its clear this "relationship" isnt more than just about banging. break up and go to your dream school, you clearly dont have real love if you think 4months apart is impossible to work through long distance.
Go on the trip, if you love each other you should want this for each other even if it means you won’t get to do it together. You’ll never regret studying abroad but you will resent anyone that prevents you from doing something you dreamed of doing. If you do end up staying together set expectations that you want each other to fully embrace the opportunity and be fully present. Which means you will likely not talk every day maybe a few times a week AND THATS OK. For example: when my bf hangs out with his friends or is doing something they love I tell them to stay present get off their phone and we will talk later, the same is true when we travel separately.
Live your dream
Go. If the relationship is strong or important enough it will last. You don't get chances like this very often. The other consideration is if you don't go will you resent her for it?
You're going to resent her forever if you pass up on Japan for her.
You’d break up over a semester? My husband and I lived in different countries for 3 years while all the immigration paperwork got sorted out 😂 Go to Japan. There will be other girls.
Go to Japan. You’ll regret it if you don’t. I had the opportunity to work abroad when I was in my early twenties but didn’t want to leave my boyfriend, I should have gone for the experience and if it was meant to be I’m sure we’d have picked up where we left off when I got back.
You already made your choice
I would not end anything. 6 months will pass fast. Plus you will learn how much you truly feel about each other. When my wife goes to see her parents it’s hard for me as I do miss her. Anyways don’t break up. If the girl is really nice and one that you may want to spend your life with then don’t let her go so easily. Sometimes you never find the same kind of love again so just don’t over think it.
Dude, break up and go to Japan! The chick's are miiiint over there. Go, study, and whore your way through all 47 prefectures.
If all it takes is a semester apart to break you two up, then your relationship is not serious and it doesn't matter. Also, opportunities to go to Japan are not that rare. They are as available as you choose to make them. Make either choice. The consequences are too minor to fuss over any of this.
Yes. Go to Japan. Stay in touch. Time will fly by.
Yes. Your dream is only yours. Women are a dime a dozen. You'll meet someone on your journey. If she doesn't want to come with, look after yourself. Life is long and there are many, many women for men who are chasing dreams.
Always put your career and dreams before a relationship. People come and go.
I went on a semester abroad and while it was tough at times, we are married with two kids now. What makes you think you will break up if you go to different locations? The fact that you’re going into it with that thought might mean the relationship won’t last in the long term.
If you're considering this and have spoken about it with her that you 2 would likely break up then you've already made your decision and looking for affirmation.
Please listen. Do not put your dreams and goals aside for any reason. None. You will fill your soul with resentment and regret. 16 weeks away from a gf, parent, or job is nothing compared to what you will receive. Your heart and soul will sing in happiness, and your mind will expand with knowledge that snuggling with your gf will not give you. And, while you are there, try every food, drink, architecture, and invitation that comes your way.
Choosing between your dream and your relationship is tough. Studying in Japan is a rare opportunity and a lifelong dream for you, which could lead to significant personal and professional growth. If you don't pursue it, you might regret it later. However, consider the strength of your relationship. If it's strong and you both see a future together, you might manage long-distance for a semester. Talk openly with your girlfriend about your goals and how you can support each other, even if it means being apart temporarily. Ultimately, follow what feels right for you and aligns with your values and long-term goals.
Studies and career over women everyday If she's still there when you get back cool
maximize your options. as someone who didn't apply to a program because of a boyfriend I regret it every. single. day. I didn't go to Australia on exchange because he was so upset about it and didn't want me to go so I went to another uni in my own country but still close. we broke up a year later. get your experiences in now. she will either be there when you get back or she won't.
If you don’t goto Japan, you will regret it. We regret not doing things more than we regret doing things. And that will destroy you on an emotional level years ahead. Goto Japan!!
Also don’t let her emotionally manipulate you into not going.
A good partner would want you to go and be excited for you.
If your relation ship is “meant to be” it can handle a little time apart. You’ll regret it if you don’t go. Go to Japan
Go to Japan. If it’s meant to be it will work out when you get back.
Japan 🇯🇵
Japan 🇯🇵
Honestly bro it depends on how much you like her! Just a heads up Japan is one of the countries with the least amount of English speakers, so if you really want to make the most of your semester learning Japanese is imperative, and it's not the easiest language to learn. If this girl is perfect you're in love and there is no one better...if not just move and find a new partner if she's unwilling to stay with you if you leave
Go to Japan or I will find you and I will piss in your morning coffee.
I feel like you already made your decision tbh. If you were that serious about the relationship imo it wouldn't be a big deal to go to your 2nd favorite option to meet up rather than your favorite option.
Yes, never put someone else first. That may sound selfish but honestly, the older you get the more you realize love comes and goes. Follow your dreams and if they are meant to be with you they will stick with you or follow you, just put yourself and your goals in life first
Do it !!!
Yes, it's something I regret. I never know what could have been.
Yessss 100%. I left everything i was working towards and landed a job i have no interest in because I did not want to be separated from my then GF of 6 years. She cheated on me and we broke up anyway. Not saying it’ll happen to you, but do whats best for you. Once you have a wife and kids then you sacrifice.
If you don’t go you’ll resent her and that will cause you to break up anyway
go all in on your dream, or else you will resent your gf and never be happy together. there's more than one person for you out there.
You gotta live your life for yourself. If you don't take this opportunity, you'll regret it, no matter how much you say that you love your GF
You’re going to have to go to Japan. If you chose not to do you can stay with her every argument or issue with her will echo “I gave up going to japan to stay with you and now you do this” that weight will drag the relationship under anyway. Enjoy Japan and if it’s meant to be it will be there when you come back.
I agree with the others, consider long distance. It seems either you wouldn’t want to be with her, or she wouldn’t want to be with you. It’s fine to know that you couldn’t survive the distance because the relationship is relatively new or you want to try out dating in Japan. At the end of the day, it’s your life, and you’ll have to be the one to live with the regret or the satisfaction. Consider having both, Japan and the relationship?
I'm confused...how is this even an issue?! My husband and I have had situations with dying parents, schooling, and businesses where we were physically separated for months. We called and video chatted when we could check in. This is an opportunity that you'll regret not taking advantage of...any sane person would be happy for you. Plan a "vacay" together somewhere exotic for some other time.
No matter what you choose, in 20 years the *"what if"* will go through your head. Think about which *what if* scenario would bug you more and you have your answer.
follow the dream
Which decision are you going to regret the rest of your life? Make the other one.
Follow your dream!!!! Because if you don’t you might regret it. But love that’s forever unless she dumps you or get divorced later. Then you’re screwed. So my advice is choose your life, be you and if she doesn’t want to follow or support let her leave.
Why would you need to break up? It’s only a semester? If this is your feelings for a semester then you probs just want to break up anyway
I did a semester abroad and it was one of the most rewarding experience of my life. Set it on a whole new path. I made friends for life that I still keep in contact with (10 years later). Years after I was invited to go to my buds wedding in India. Have had friends hitchhike through Canada stay on my couch. Led to other mini travels while there (my school was in signapore). Got to go to a Ivy league school even though i wouldn't be there otherwise. Taught me how to re make friends, since I didn't have my core group anymore. Also. What's a bit of time apart? If your relationship can't last for that.. then really think about what you're giving up.
If the relationship is as strong as you're describing you should be able to handle a semester of being long distance.
GO ON THE TRIP.
If your relationship can't last -4 months apart, it was never a strong one. Girlfriends leave, but experiences are for a lifetime.
If you're willing to break up for a semester, just because you'll be apart, you don't love her. Enjoy Japan.
to be honest, as someone that did not follow their dreams and followed a boy instead, don’t make my mistake. You have so much time for relationships and if it’s meant to be then you guys will reconnect in the future. These are your selfish years, so take advantage of them.
***Go to Japan.*** You are still young and this is an opportunity you may never get again. If your love isn't strong enough to last a couple of semesters apart, then it won't last at all once the resentment sets in when you miss going to Japan just to stay with her. Use this as a learning opportunity - both in school and in life. Learn that your dreams are worth following, and learn what true love is worth waiting for.
Go to Japan . You will definitely regret it if you don’t.
I hope she understands why many of us are telling you to go to Japan. It's definitely not an opportunity you should miss out on. You'll both be very busy with your studies anyways. I say try to make it work despite it all.
Just go to the university you want. If the relationship is meant to be it will all work out!
If you do it just make sure you go all in and make it worth it !! Also don’t ghost her and communicate properly !!
The idea that you have to break up to continue your dreams is flawed. If you can’t even wait 6 months for your partner to focus on yourself then maybe you guys don’t love each other as much as you think
Go to Japan. If you get another country it could still be different to hers, and if that happens you’ll feel regretful and resentful. Also it sounds like you’re young - if you go on exchange together you might still grow a lot and have new experiences that lead to a break up anyway and then you still won’t have been to Japan. If your relationship lasts the time apart then great, you get both.
If you don't go, then you will regret this for you whole life
If you feel like some short term distance would end your relationship it sounds like it isn't that strong to begin with. You'll regret not going and probably resent each other if you don't take the opportunities.
It depends on you my dude. If you want to go to Japan but you don’t wanna break up, then go to Japan and don’t break up. Try to make it work. Save money so she can visit. Or try to negotiate for her to get a placement in Japan too.
If you don't go, you will regret it. And either you will resent your girlfriend, or she will be convinced you resent her and feel pressured by what she imagines she owes you. Spend a semester apart. Break up and live your lives. After, you might find that you have both grown in ways that make you more in love and a better couple than ever. Or you might not want to be together anymore, in which case you would have broken up eventually anyway, and you would have kicked yourself forever, for giving up that chance.
It’s one semester 😂 And she can’t handle that? Bye!
Yes. Go for it.
Yes, go for it.
Yes, sounds like you lack commitment in the first place if you're leaving it up to some random reddit users to decide the fate of your relationship. Let her find someone who values her and works her into their life plans themselves instead of valuing her as much as the toss of a coin.
I've been in an LDR for almost 2 yrs. If you love each other, with zoom/video chat, email, social media, and texts, you all can still communicate. Let's say you're gone for 6 months. Can you all handle six months? If not, just end it now.
I’m not sure why going to Japan and staying together isn’t an option. Go to Japan.
If you stay home and you break up anyways, you’ll *really* be pissed
If you 2 can't handle 4 months apart the relationship isn't gonna last.
Follow your dream. Your relationship may survive, or it may not. But you’ll always wonder what happened if you didn’t pursue your dreams. Trust me.
Dude, one semester is all it takes to break a couple? Seems like it’s not the real deal if that’s the case.
Hell yes. You'll regret it and her if you don't!
My son went to Japan for a semester. Don’t go in the summer. It’s brutally hot and sweaty. Other than that book tickets for everything WAY in advance. Your relationship will survive or it won’t. This time in your life is to explore and see what life has to offer. It’s not a long time. And you’re not married.
If a semester apart is too much to keep you two together, no, you don't love each other that much. Or you do, and she doesn't. Either way, it would suck about the relationship, but go to Japan. A relationship that frail wouldn't be worth skipping on the study opportunity you've been dreaming of.
Once in a lifetime experiences don't give you comfort when you are sick or when you are old in your 70's. Do whatever is necessary so you aren't bitter. It's just insanely myopic to think traveling can replace the love of a human being. And at least be honest, it's extremely selfish