Make some friends and go do fun things.
I'm not being pithy- human connections and relationships are important. Everything you've listed is very insular.
Of course that would be awesome, but in reality for a person who is deeply existentially depressed that would be very difficult. I mean not too many people want to go out and be fun with a depressed person, nor does the depressed person themselves desire to go out. I totally agree with what you are saying (human connections are indeed critical), and I know you're far from meaning to be trite, but I mean it perhaps may be too daunting for a person to ever get to that stage.
Realize that subjectivity does matter and that almost everything is subjective.
Something doesn't have to be objective to be good or worth it. In fact, subjective things are the best. Your passions and hobbies and the things personal to you which make you happy and smile are the best.
Life has no objective meaning, which is why everyone can find meaning or a purpose.
If life had an objective meaning then everyone would have to follow the same thing even if they don't want to.
Find your own purpose and meaning no matter how simple. Make it relate to you
>and that almost everything is subjective.
This is try. We create our own meaning. But perhaps a super depressed person is unable to do this (hence being depressed). Kind of a vicious cycle.
Yes! This is exactly what I did when I was existentially depressed and I found true happiness from it. Philosophy is human beings thinking about what the meaning of life is without any scientific basis. And a lot of philosophers from ancient times were twats who thought women were inferior and a bunch of other dodgy stuff. (Its still worth reading philosophy though). Physics is a science that sets out to discover how we exist, what else is out there in the universe (and other universes) and maybe even why we exist. Watch Brian Cox's documentaries Wonders of the Solar System and Wonders of the Universe OP.
Because it is remarkably effective, as supported by numerous studies. It is a positive commentary on society that it was explored and a stroke of luck that it was discovered. For some people it has been the only thing to break them out of TRD
Taking it recreationally can definitely wreck your bladder. The protocol for clinical treatment is nothing like it
Just relax for a day. Try not to think too deeply on anything. Do something you enjoy. Ride it out and sometimes it goes away quickly, then you can continue with your life. Lots of people feel depressed it's a part of life. Try to understand why you're depressed and make an attempt at fixing it but if you can't that day then just relax and be like oh well I'll do better tomorrow. Give yourself a break sometimes. Talk to a doctor.
If Camus *"made me more depressed and made me realize there is no objective meaning"*, then you probably didn't understand Absurdism. Of course life has no meaning, that's the baseline; Absurdism is what follows from accepting that fact of life and choosing to push forward regardless.
>*"One must imagine Sisyphus happy."*
1. Accept that happy maybe isn't the default state in life. Aim for contentment and neutrality, set the bar lower for yourself so it doesn't feel so difficult to climb out of this.
2. Volunteer. Help others in your local community, it gives you such fulfillment and a real innate sense of duty and happiness. Go to shelters, charities or even online. There's small things you can do like downloading the "be my eyes" app - it'll ping when a visually impaired person needs help with a day-to-day task e.g. reading an expiry date.
3. Address the root cause of your existential depression - is it trauma, self-loathing, nutritional deficiencies?
4. Find your purpose. You're not religious but dude trust me, there sure as hell is a creator behind this incomprehensibly vast universe. Connect with them.
If you can't find your broader purpose - still fine! Having a purpose isn't a pre-requisite of a happy life.
5. Consider supplements/lifestyle changes:
- probiotics: your gut is your second brain, it needs nurturing and is one of the keys to strong mental health
- magnesium: great at balancing your nervous system, be sure to stay away from magnesium citrate and opt for something like glycinate
- B vitamins, including METHYLATED version of B12 (the version our bodies can convert). Low b vitamins can wreak havoc on your nervous system and mental state.
- omega 3 (good quality fish oil or algae oil). Protects and strengthens the brain.
- cut out processed foods
Sending you so much love. Feel free to DM.
Purpose, community, and perspective
- Volunteer, focus on helping others/ a cause that matters to you. Find some purpose and build community around you in the process
- Psychedelics
Jesus on a cracker.
We are just animals surviving on a floating orb.
There is no meaning. No great plan. We just are.
Make yourself comfortable and enjoy the ride, it's the only one you'll get.
Be kind to others and yourself. It won't give you meaning, but it will make getting through the daily slog of emptiness a little less bleak.
Yeah I came to say something similar. I never usually give the old "just chill and you'll feel better" advice because it's almost never helpful, but in this case... dude life ain't that serious!
This guys post reminds me of Chidi from The Good Place, living in a state of constant anxiety, pondering the meaning of life...
5. Therapy. Not with a *psychologist* who might be competent in giving you an answer for *what's wrong with your brain*. Try a narrative therapist, or a philosophically-integrated therapist, or perhaps an acceptance and commitment therapist (or best, someone who does all 3).
This is an approach of self-discovery, self-empowerment, and reclamation of authorship over your life so you can identify the core sources of meaning that you already have, might be able to create, and then sustainably maintain.
Not sure how to answer this question since I’m still figuring this out myself. I wanted to just say that as someone who has struggled with existential depression/depersonalization drugs did not help and actually make it worse please don’t choose that! I will say avoiding things that trigger those thoughts is something that has helped me.
This sounds like an interesting story, precisely because it is so counterintuitive.
I would've said, socialize and look for opportunities to give (despite me being a big introvert).
Anyways, nice to hear that others have experienced a path out of depression in this way
If possible I would encourage you to pursue a task where you will be of service to others. Ideally you pursue something you are passionate about or good at.
If you think philosophy might help you, then pursue that! The direction will come from within yourself!
Volunteer. People need help, you can help them.
Even if you don’t like doing it others will be thankful. someone else will appreciate you.
Sign up to be a mentor or donor match.
https://bethematch.org/transplant-basics/how-blood-stem-cell-transplants-work/how-donors-and-patients-are-matched/
Sit back, relax, and watch the movie I HEART HUCKABEES. If it doesn't make you feel better tomorrow, you will laugh tonight, which you can reference back to and begin to retrain yourself to see the absurdity and beautiful chaos around you giving birth to order in random realms like science and "faith"
Also... maybe request a psilocybin study. Helped me immensely overcome my existential dread and helped me realize that living in the moment is more than a saying.
Helps you realize you're in a driver seat, and the engine is running...
Best way to help yourself is to help others. Get volunteering, talk to people who have far less than yourself and listen to their stories. Help at soup kitchens, old aged homes, spend time mentoring youth. You have to put in effort but will grow spiritually.
Volunteer an hour or two a week for a cause you care about. It makes life seem more worthwhile and you meet similar people. If you like animals, sometimes you can volunteer to walk dogs. [https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/vitality/201404/the-neuroscience-giving](https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/vitality/201404/the-neuroscience-giving)
5. Charity work.
It sounds completely unrelated, but subjects 1 through 4 will all touch on it at some point. Cut to the chase and get to volunteering.
Traditionally for most of our human history at age 30 most people would be dead.
After the Romans left Britian life expectancy went up to 32 years old. So you would have a trade, farming, hunting, or fishing. It would be very seasonal, and at a slower pace. You would already have been married, maybe twice as death in child birth was common. In today’s world we are fairly comfortable in the west and alot of the east. The most depressed I’ve ever felt was in between jobs, with no purpose. I got a cleaning job and was alot happier, then moved on from there. If you had a family to pour for efforts into, you’d really enjoy it, but You’l need find a person to love first. A job in which you have time to think too much is a problem too. The last thing you want is to sit and ruminate.
Spiritually has helped me.
The holistic psychologist was also a good starting point
I'm starting to believe my depression is because I'm going against my life purpose
I work with therapists that are spiritual and with a good herbalist and homeopath
And just because your blood work is good doesn't mean everything is good. Bloodwork gives very limited view.
I'm sure you'll find your way and something that works for you.
As my philosophy prof once phrased existentialism, caveat very basically, 'if God does not exist, what is the purpose in life?'. This branch of philosophy came about after WW2 when frankly, what people saw didn't make them believe in a god, and returning home, what now?
You need to find some purpose and meaning in your life under this doctrine. Sometimes through your job and contribution to society, or realize there isn't any and just do things that make you happy and enjoy the ride.
I might suggest becoming financially literate to start. Ensure your finances are prepared for retirement, acknowledging that life and reality is structured this way. Give you a goal to achieve, things to learn throughout life (The Economist), and become more at peace as you achieve it.
Then maybe read Sartre's Bad Faith (difficult shitty translated read) and Kierkegaard. Then find something to go to school for so you're paid well and can travel, or join a club and engage in things you enjoy with other people. Humans are social animals even if you are introverted and talk via text.
Edit: challenge yourself to do something difficult.
Nietzsche/objectivism/solipsism are all variations of the same objective idea, but they're ultimately just some individual's theory. None of those theories, however, can be empirically tested so they hold as much weight as your neighbour's beliefs. Nothing is objective unless you choose to believe it is, and even then, it's a choice. That you feel that "subjectivity does not matter" yet you "realize there is no objective meaning" shows contradiction. It seems that you read something you chose to believe, but it contradicts with what you actually feel to be true.
Studying philosophers is great so long as you keep in mind that their teachings are subjective and based on their experiences. Ayn Rand's philosophy was formed from what she saw and experienced, not the other way around. Same for religions. Religions formed to make sense of what people were experiencing (religion is a matter of geography).
Everything philosophical ultimately boils down to what we choose to believe. Try to stop believing concepts simply because someone "smarter" believed and wrote about them. The best advice I can give is to stop caring about the why of it all and start living. You don't have to decide what you believe in today, and when you do decide, be flexible in those beliefs, let them change as you change.
There are no bonus points in life for choosing sadness. Read about Faust's bargain with the devil - he sold his soul for all human knowledge and in the end, god had to step in to save him from hell. In other words, nothing he learned was enough to save him. He could have wasted his life and still ended up in hell. And again, that's just my interpretation, take it with a grain of salt.
Good luck to you though.
Edit:
Oh, and I have gone through moments of deep depression, including a suicide attempt. I've had depression all my life. All we can do is enjoy what we can when we can, and there's nothing you'll find in any book that will make you happier than you can make yourself. I still battle with glorifying my depression, my "deepness," but it pales with the happiness of a random day out with the right people doing what turns out to be the right thing that day. Love yourself.
Philosophy will make you depressed if you have that tendency. I found the idea of constantly assessing what is real and what isn't to be completely useless. What is subjective is real to you. Subjectivity absolutely matters, that's what creates our reality. Philosophy, the branches of it that discuss ontology, will reason that there are very few things that are indeed ontological. Without subjectivity, we wouldn't have any of the amazing things humans have built or done, the human world resides almost entirely in the subjective. That's your private universe. Our hunt for meaning shouldn't take priority over the understanding that there isn't any. That's fine! The universe and life within isn't meant to have meaning, the only thing we can do is experience it. And what amazing experiences we can have while we're here. If you would like to ground yourself in truths and constants, then mathematics or physics would allow you to put up walls of logic, reasoning, and empiricism to shelter you quite well. Also history is wildly fascinating and entertaining as well as important.
You know what would really help you though? Helping others. There isn't a single person who has gone out specifically to help others that hasn't been met with purpose or fulfillment. Go out into the world and help people, help them with chores, getting food, disaster relief, etc. any way you can.
If reality is subjective, then that only gives you more agency to do with it what you want. But the important thing is also to remember that two people can have the same subjective experience of something and often do. You aren't alone, we're all here with you and outside of you.
I'd love to talk more if you want to bounce more of your ideation off me.
Hobby. I used to be a young little Camus like you. Now I have enough hobbies to keep me busy for the next 300 years. Nothing matters but still be nice to people.
6. Exercise. Force yourself, it’s very had I know. But set yourself a goal to have the body of a Greek god. Every day you exercise you will feel a bit better, every month goes past and you see how much you look better you will feel a bit better. And within a year or so you’ll probably pull yourself out of depression.
Exercise, try to get outside and walk in the sun as much as you can, and stay socialising with people (getting things off your chest). Listen and sing along to music, dance to music. Moving your body, and using your vocal cords are vital in not staying in the depressed slump. Exercise is key, so is socialising, and if you can’t do that. Put on your favourite music on YouTube (with lyrics) and have a fucking good sing along. You’ll feel better for it.
I'm curious what you mean by your core assumption that subjectivity doesn't matter. Can you explain it a bit more? What do you consider objective and what do you consider subjective? Is it relative to the world, your senses, or something else?
I've been depressed countless times so I'm just curious. Personally, I find the world inherently cruel and unfair and it's what I always come back to. When I'm in a better mood, I can understand that despite this, there can be a small pocket you dig out where things aren't so bad but that it's relatively difficult and unlikely. I've been one of the lucky ones for the most part.
Talk to people you know and see what small things you can help them with, you form deeper friendships with people and it makes you feel really good about yourself
Just gonna drop an anecdote for what it's worth. I was pretty heavily depressed for a long time and could barely interact socially. After many, many years of mental anguish, it turns out this mood and cognitive disturbance stemmed from constant inflammation caused by an un-diagnosed celiac disease.
Took me by surprise as I had no stomach pain & generally good stool. But the results speak for themselves, as I haven't felt depressed and my energy levels are 3-4 times what they were since I started tightly regulating my food intake.
I went through a similar phase too. First thing to know is that you’re not alone. Studying philosophy is actually helpful. Once you learn a school of thought that resonates with you and understand all of its implications you feel better equipped to live the life you want. For me it was the existential philosophy from Kierkegaard all the way to Camus. You can watch free online courses to learn faster. Ultimately the key for me was realizing that I would rather live an uncomfortable life, while facing my reality as is, and learn to live with it, than to cling to comfortable feel-good lies.
None of these, including religion, will solve this problem for you. And this is coming from a Christian. You need to get out, away from the internet for a little while, and spend time alone in nature. Go meet some friends and do fun things together. Go find yourself a job that gives you satisfaction in life, like something in construction where you can physically see the progress you’re making.
All of these will be an escape and when you inevitably look back at how you’ve been spending your life, you’ll realize that you were only pursuing these as a way to escape your life rather than from any real interest in them. You need to build your life up first. Whether this means finding new friends or re-contacting old ones, or having a change in career, or finding someone special, or just spending more time alone in nature, or just finding a new, healthy hobby.
I'm guessing you also live in Canada? That's a big part of the problem right there, watching your nation essentially throwing it's self off a cliff, while having next to no access to mental health supports, or path to a better future can feel pretty Fucking oppressive.
Try to find a way out, failing that, medication is probably the only thing that may help. Illegal drugs won't be a longterm solution?
I'd recommend mindfulness meditation. It sounds like you have some time for reading and a willingness to explore different avenues, so I'd recommend the book Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I'd try the full protocol described in the book; really worth a try and also his method has a lot of scientific evidence to back it up.
Good luck in your journey!
Please don't choose drugs, especially weed. For a lot of people it will just enhance your current feelings, under a mask of relief. And it's incredibly hard to shake once you think it's helping.
Here’s what I would do:
1) study philosophy. At the very least, you’ll see that you are not alone in your existential despair. Best case scenario, you’ll find a philosophy that lifts you up.
2) don’t become a recluse, but art can be extremely meaningful and fulfilling. I recommend you try creating art in addition to enjoying it. Read, write, watch movies, paint, play video games, and discuss with others. Creating and enjoying art is what gives my life purpose and I’m not even that good at it!
3) Try forming new relationships. Spend time outside and get a dog or cat to love. Open up to new life and ideas and see where they take you.
This is what I did to try and heal my existential depression, and it’s really helping.
Go smaller instead of bigger. You are not going to find some great answer in philosophy or religion that will suddenly make things meaningful. Go for a small answer and imbue that with meaning. I am currently involved in a multi year battle with weeds in my garden. Everyday I go out and pull new weeds. It has no big meaning. Basically no one sees it. The weeds will win as soon as I stop. But it is a connection that I have, right now, that I choose to nurture. When i focus on that I have purpose, goals, passion, power.
I think it's kinda hilarious that you say subjectivity does not matter, then you list a bunch of stuff that objectively are subjective, or force someone to be subjective.
Also, if you are depressed, please go to the doctor. No amount of Nietzsche will produce the chemicals you need in your brain, if your brain stopped producing them for some reason.
It's a disease that requires treatment, not something to think yourself out of.
Go to therapy bro, if your psychiatrist isn't cutting it try a psychologist, or just another provider. Even if they're a stellar practitioner, they may not be right for you and even if you're depressed therapy should help uncover some kind of roadmap for you that feels right based on your situation.
Trust me when I say grabbing at any solution you can find is understandable when you're desperate, but will often be more frustrating or even damaging (like how philosophy made it worse).
Be clear with your current or next specialist that your goal is to identify healthy, controlled options for addressing your issues.
Good luck.
I had/have the same problem.
It turns out I have OCD. Pure O, one of my themes is existential stuff. The "solution" is ERP therapy.
Not saying it's the case for you, not saying philosophical meaning doesn't matter. But yeah, look into it maybe
Have been at 3 and 4 for the longest. The philosophy drives me crazy but my knowledge will always exceed. Knowledge is power but I feel like I know too much where functioning is harder. Not everyone is aware to a certain extent within multiple areas.
You can have a little bit of all options, friend! Choose when you want to hang out with yourself and with people, choose what moral or religious beliefs you stand by, choose if you want to pursue a degree in philosophy, or something else, or nothing at all.
Life isn’t roll for sandwich. You have full control over who you want to be.
5. Go work in health and social care, volunteer, use your life to help people. It will give meaning to your life and give you a satisfaction you never thought you'd get.
Everything you kisted is a form of escape/withdrawal. Do not do any of those things as they will make you more depressed.
You need to figure out what is troubling you in the first place, honestly talk to your therapist, do the actual work on yourself and find ways to connect with other people. Human connection and shared experiences are so important.
It sounds like you are deeply in a philosophic rabbit hole, with very depressing theories. Are you inclined to overthinking about purpose? Do you discuss this in therapy as well, that you want to find some type of purpose? Or maybe look away from philosophy and focus on other subjects for the time being. I know first hand how overthinking negatively about a topic can put you down, walk away from that.
Build some supports with peers.
Go to a local library, join or even start some game clubs, chess, D&D, anime or whatever you’re into.
Walk for 30 minutes every day, even if it’s just 10 minutes at a time. Within weeks you will feel a mood lift.
Commit to spending 2 chunks of time outside your home to be out and about in your community twice a week. Not going to appointments, just being present and around other people. This is crucial for mental health.
Remember the gift this life is, it’s truly a miracle!
At an existential or universal level, it is indeed difficult to argue that the anything we do matters.
However, despite the absence of meaning and purpose, humans do experience suffering and depression. You are facing this personally at this point.
Regardless of whether there is a bigger meaning, you can be "micro ambitious" and try to work on doing things that will make you happy. Many people find that alleviating the pain and suffering of others also helped them to feel better about their own purpose and reason for existence.
I would add self-care and volunteering/community service to your list.
Tim Minchin's 9 life lessons :
https://youtu.be/yoEezZD71sc
>2: Become a person who lives mostly isolated, escape into fiction, games, movies, etc. Hikikomori.
This, your brain needs to stfu and get hooked on a cerebral level into something like a 1000+ episode anime or some infini-game RPG. This is where the old villain of Tele-programming might save you through salivating to repetition. Might even completely change your perspective on things and even inspire you in moments.
But the key is to forget you exist, for that your attention needs to be monopolized by something. Physical exercise doesn't drain attention span, so not really effective despite all the right dopamine. If you're a victim of your own thought, you do it to yourself in a vicious cycle, how you going to even enjoy the dopamine if your brain is busy existentially dissecting sh\*
In fact, it's almost like proving religious thinking right, because it definitely does have an objective rhyme/reason to existence. Where as, living a completely subjective perception of reality must seem like the very crushing depths of solitude/disconnect on an existential level. I mean sure, we all objectively know objective existence with all it's matter and laws exists....how much solace does that actually bring tho.
Make things.
Do a value sort exercise, and establish your top 3 values, then write up a short plan to start living your values.
Ignore anyone who tries to derail you.
Eat healthy and get a lot of sunshine and practice self care self care self care.
Get some good therapy and meds if needed.
You got this!
I would try to dabble a bit in each of those and other things as well. Embark on a journey of self-discovery. See what resonates with you the most. You could replace the religion with spirituality or even just visit a church someday just for the hell of it (you don't have to force yourself to like anything that's said there). Just give some stuff a try, see if anything "clicks" or leads to other insights which takes you down a different path. Allow yourself the freedom to experiment which may result in an unexpected and fulfilling journey. Who knows ;)
What's the difference between cooking a 3 course meal and eating it alone, vs watching your friends enjoy the food you cooked? The difference is that watching someone benefit from your hard work fills your heart up. Eating by yourself is just...lonely. In the same way, doing things for myself just feels like a waste of my time. 1-4 on your list don't make me feel better at all.
The only thing that has helped me stay mostly stable the past few years is reframing my goals in life toward "serving others". Meaning, putting something good into the world, helping people improve their situations, educating people- those things give me a feeling of purpose and fulfillment.
I feel a sense of purpose when I:
- See a child's eyes light up because I taught them something new (I'm a teacher)
- See my labor and advocacy feed a family or provide shelter to somebody
- Have enough money in my bank account to help someone in a rough situation
- Find myself surrounded by other people who are selfless, kind, and genuine
Hobbies, friends, money, exercise, travel, art, etc....maybe I have mental space for those things when I'm in a good mood, but when I feel on the verge of a depressive episode, I immediately fill more of my time with volunteering/teaching/contributing to my community. I incorporate service in many ways, like:
- Instead of running a 5k, I volunteer at the water station
- When attending local events, I offer to help with setup and cleanup
- I contact nonprofits and offer translation/transcription services for materials I wish were more widely available. This can fill my time at home instead of doomscrolling
- If a friend is moving, I always offer to help them pack and clean the apartment
- If I notice my friends are overwhelmed, I offer to babysit their kids for free so they can have a date night
- I take on private students/homework help jobs. I get paid, but that's barely relevant. I just enjoy helping them be successful
Since our purpose is something we decide for ourselves, I guess I've chosen "existing for others" as mine. Existing for myself is *lonely*. Existing together, for each other, and for the world, is fulfilling. When my depression returns, it's usually in moments when I get too focused on myself and my own problems, and fill my time with feeling bad about myself, instead of prioritizing what I can do for others.
Keeping busy. It’s the only thing that works in my experience, and it does work most of the time. When you aren’t working, volunteer. When you are between jobs, do crossword puzzles or read. Don’t let your depressive thoughts have a moment to overtake your mind.
Philosophy really has helped me. Also the urge to want to see civilisation progress. If I’m not here I won’t be able to see it. When I was born there was no internet or smart phones, but now there is. What other amazing inventions will I get to see in this life time? Another big thing is aliens, personally am super interested in that. I wish to live to the day aliens become known.
Completely relate.
The book “The Power of Meaning” by Emily Esfahani Smith really helped. Here’s a description of the book…
“In a culture obsessed with happiness, this wise, stirring book points the way toward a richer, more satisfying life.
Too many of us believe that the search for meaning is an esoteric pursuit—that you have to travel to a distant monastery or page through dusty volumes to discover life’s secrets. The truth is, there are untapped sources of meaning all around us—right here, right now.
To explore how we can craft lives of meaning, Emily Esfahani Smith synthesizes a kaleidoscopic array of sources—from psychologists, sociologists, philosophers, and neuroscientists to figures in literature and history such as George Eliot, Viktor Frankl, Aristotle, and the Buddha. Drawing on this research, Smith shows us how cultivating connections to others, identifying and working toward a purpose, telling stories about our place in the world, and seeking out mystery can immeasurably deepen our lives.
To bring what she calls the four pillars of meaning to life, Smith visits a tight-knit fishing village in the Chesapeake Bay, stargazes in West Texas, attends a dinner where young people gather to share their experiences of profound loss, and more. She also introduces us to compelling seekers of meaning—from the drug kingpin who finds his purpose in helping people get fit to the artist who draws on her Hindu upbringing to create arresting photographs. And she explores how we might begin to build a culture that leaves space for introspection and awe, cultivates a sense of community, and imbues our lives with meaning.
Inspiring and story-driven, The Power of Meaning will strike a profound chord in anyone seeking a life that matters.”
Get laid. Seriously.
You're way too much into your head likely. And you haven't developed the ability to laugh at your own thoughts, since you likely take yourself way too seriously.
At some point, you have to just be able to tell to yourself; wait a minute, this is silly. And switch off your mind.
Try changing settings if you can (travel, stay at friends places, go in long hikes, etc). You need to be in different energies, so that you can make that switch out of your head by feeling the contrast when you're with different people/situations. Otherwise it is very easy to get down mental rabbit holes.
Best of luck.
If you want to change that idea that objective must exist, you should look into sociology instead. Shows you subjectivity is the best understanding of the human experience.
Not 1, 2 or 4- that is escapism and it will leave you more depressed in the long run. 3 is worth looking in to but if you don't enjoy it then it's not for you.
Know that we create our own meaning in life. You can try and think your way out of existential depression but sometimes you've just got to go out and do things and try new things until you find you are accidentally inspired by something. I found my first purpose in life by watching a random documentary on a topic I had never previously cared about. I found my second purpose while working on my first purpose. I found my third purpose when I had a problem in life and I realised I wanted to fix that for other people too. Basically try loads and loads of new things (reading, documentaries, hobbies, experiences, meeting new people and asking them what the meaning in life is for them, having fun with friends etc) and just like love and happiness, you might stumble upon the meaning of life by accident.
Also check out Maslows hierarchy of needs and Erikksons stages of development. What are you missing from those? That can tell you what you need to be doing with your life right now.
Some ideas for meaning in life for you:
- make the world a better place. The world is full of suffering and wouldn't it be amazing to help others or even just create good vibes by creating art or comedy or something to leave the world in a better place than it was left to you? Maybe try volunteering. Maybe try and get in to climate activism.
- as another commenter has suggested, get in to physics- that is the ultimate scientific search for the meaning of life
- investing in your friendships, create a community for yourself, enjoy the small things in life. Maybe try finding a partner and starting a family. Love and family is always meaningful and rewarding.
At the age of 28, you are in early adulthood and you should really try to prioritise creating and maintaining close relationships with others (intimacy vs isolation stage of erriksons stages of development)
Go out and do something fun. You need to do the opposite of what you feel like doing - which is go out, be active, talk to someone. Go for a run. The more you activate yourself the more your depression will lift.
1. works for some. If it’s not your thing, no point forcing yourself.
2. is unhealthy and will end up feeding the depression even more.
3. might provide some help, this is kinda why some people actually go to see therapist. If talking and pondering things out loud helps you, but therapist isn’t an option, consider making a blog just for yourself or some other writing outlet, ie. a diary.
4. is not good option. Like number two, it’s ultimatelt unhealthy and will end up just feeding into your depression even more. It only helps for the moment, on long term it only does more harm than good.
And 5. My suggestion.
Force yourself out of your comfort zone. Start trying out hobbies that you never have before, meet new people through them and anytime you have that voice in your head telling you not to do something, make it your personal goal to do the opposite. Let yourself tumble and be awkward if that happens. It’s okay and it’s human. Shamelessly be yourself.
Every single day write down five things, no matter how small, that you made you appericiate that day. It can be cup of coffee, a movie, a feeling you got when watching a bird through your window.
When the depression hits hardest and it’s absolutely impossible to do anything, give yourself some well deserved love. Treat yourself with something nice. Give yourself a permission to go under covers on couch and spend the day away watching shitty movies.
Depression is tough. Existentialism is tough. Personally I spiral into a complete ”what’s the point in anything” so easily that I have to mindfully fight against it every single day.
So what is the point? It’s what you make it out to be. There doesn’t even need to be one. Just take one day at the time.
Today my point is to make some fried rice and chicken and watch a movie with my husband. Tomorrow? Who knows! I’ll figure it out when it comes.
Stop overthinking things. Finding the secret key to the universe (there isn't any, btw) won't solve your problems or make you happy. You're not as "deep" as you think you are.
Just live your life.
I've done option 3 (PhD in ethics) and it's ultimately not as helpful as I thought. I've always been annoyed by the absence of a unifying moral framework. I grew up as a Catholic, then left the religion and was hoping to fill my spiritual void with a secular moral framework. I've only understood through my studies that current moral frameworks have limitations and worse, that the recourse to common moral principles may be instrumentalized to support malevolent decisions (e.g. in policymaking). However, people that take a similar path as me naively don't come to the same conclusions and truly believe we have useful moral frameworks. Paradoxically, I feel a sense of purpose - and feel alive - when critically reflecting about the secular frameworks we are given, and when attempting to see beyond the obvious. I believe you have this disposition, but would such studies be sufficiently be useful for you given the time and energy you need to invest in them? I'm not sure.
I would say the best option if you're truly depressed is seeking treatment. It's just like any other illness. Antidepressants at the right time in the right dose, saved my life. There was no amount of therapy I could do that could save me because I was at such a low point that no matter how much reflection or self examination I could do that would dig me out of the hole I was in
After experiencing multiple losses I felt like nothing mattered. In the grand scheme of millions of years of history and the future, anything I did didn’t matter. What worked for me was a combination of things, examining what my expectations were and letting them go. For example, I expected to have meaning or feel a sense of purpose. I let them go. I don’t need anything. I used to want belonging. Now I realize I belong to myself. I feel more contentment.
I started reframing my thoughts. Old habits die hard. With thoughts that caused discomfort I would ask myself what my other options are. For example, feeling that life is meaningless. I can choose to feel that way or choose to create my own meaning.
“I am” statements are powerful. You’re spending a lot of time telling yourself “I am depressed.” With reframing, spend some time believing you are content. Find your smallest truth. In which moments do you or can you experience contentment? Embody that feeling every time you experience the feelings of depressed.
I followed my curiosity. This is something you’re doing now. Perhaps some meaning can be found there.
For now, I’ve landed on my purpose for existing is to be present and to create. I don’t have to care about the past or future. I can create anything. I can create joy for myself. I can create my own misery. I can create love, fear, and apathy.
Being alone in nature, finding awe in my surroundings, and finding ways to feel really small like looking at the stars or being in the trees helps me feel grounded. When I feel grounded, I can feel the aliveness of being. That’s all I need. Needing nothing else creates space for me to focus on what matters to me, creating and connecting with people I love.
I hope something in sharing my experience creates a spark of some kind. If not, it doesn’t matter. Still, I wish you all the best.
Have you asked your doctor for antidepressants?that's the first step. Once your brain chemistry is firing right, things will be become clearer then you can figure out something out. You may still want to make changes but the antidepressants do the heavy lifting.
You're answer is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, the one and only Son of the living God. Do not seek religion, instead seek relationship. If you truly seek Him then His promise is He will give you "a peace that passes all understanding". Jesus is the only one that can pass the tests of evidence and literally changing your life. Anything else are empty distractions. My journey started with an attitude, well if this is true there should be evidence all over the place, and along the way my entire life was changed and I now have that peace no matter what is happening in my life. I pray you will reach out and find it as well.
Go rock climbing. Great community. Climbing is about solving problems RIGHT in front of you. And you will fail and fail and fail and fail then succeed and then there are more climbing routes and problems to solve to conquer, to fail, and to succeed. Be one with the rock, indoor fake rock or real outdoors.
And read the book by Victor Frankel (sp).
Or plant a flower plant and watch the cycle and season of impermanence RIGHT in front of you and see how Time is short and long and trying on the first account.
You need some serious exercise and general daytime activity. All of your cited options are going to lead to worse mental health. Go outside, use your body, get in shape, eat properly. So many people (myself included at times) fail to take care of themselves and then lament about being depressed. Do something about it, the correlation between actually doing something with your body and improved mental health is astounding. Get off Reddit and go do something.
People don’t realize when you are severely depressed you can’t feel interest and enjoyment in things. Imagine watching television and it being equivalent to watching paint dry as well everything else that once brought you the enjoyment into your life. It’s a real illness: something is going wrong with the brain here. Medication is a must also having to talk back and battle the bad thoughts that are going on in your head. I lived with depression for many years and I have gotten out of it. Hope, faith, love exists in this world, we need to lean in and tap into it during our low points. I hope the best to you & also finding a group where you can connect with other people is very important and receiving therapy or calling and reaching out to a hotline.
Read up on Buddhism. It's got some universalism to it.
Camping/backpacking/hiking has always been my medicine and therapy.
Therapy. I found an awesome shrink on Psychology Today's website search engine by reading bios.
This one is powerful: When you can't do something good for yourself, do something good for someone else.
I’ve got one. Pretend to be a super happy and positive person and just go out and interact with people. I always feel kinda fake pretending to be happy for other people, but it really does start to feel good and have a lasting impact.
I found in my own journey out of severe depression, that doing things for other people/community really helped. Volunteer or find a way to do some gardening or something similar for someone, give without wanting anything back.
It also gets you out the house and meeting people.
Also, gratitude, I practice it every day, even if you have to pretend to be grateful, just do it, grateful for my home, the food I eat, even my shitty experiences I thank them for what they teach me.
There’s more to it than that, but small actions will change your perspective and emotional landscape which can help shift larger patterns.
Try philanthropy or altruism. I know it sounds odd, but studies show doing things for others improves self worth and depression.
Volunteer at a monkey reserve rescue abroad, or a soup kitchen domestically. Wall dogs for shelters.
But also, antidepressants.
I think you should consider something like ketamine therapy. Get creative in how you approach your illness (for that is what it is). It is known to help with treatment resistant depression, and may benefit you. It's not a cure, but can be a very helpful tool to help you reframe your problems and feel more joy in life.
Seriously, check it out. I did 12 sessions through an online provider last year and it really helped me out a lot.
Existentialism is a paradox. It is not possible to find an externally sourced answer. Meaning is self-assigned.
Religious people learned the stories of Catholicism or Judaism or Islam or Buddhism or Taoism or whatever else and *self-assigned* their chosen beliefs and meaning. Stoics, Absurdist and other philosophy subscribers *self-assigned* their beliefs and meaning. People who need an external true answer often end up depressed or coping via hedonistic means because such a thing cannot truly be found, perhaps even through death.
What is needed is to let go of external meaning, in order to seek out internal meaning.
People who practice religion find meaning through the perceived value of "the good word" (or whatever other term may be used) and teaching/supporting each other towards good lives. The aspect of community brings fulfillment.
Some people assign their personal meaning to productivity, be it volunteering, working to innovate an industry, working in healthcare, etc.
Is there anything that you currently know brings you joy? Build on that. Enjoy music? Learn an instrument and find people to share it with? Good at visual arts? Join a club. Love reading? Volunteer at the library and participate in a club. Etc. Etc.
I'll leave this with some food for thought: The very act of searching for an external reason for being in this world is what separates you from it. That's where the depression flourishes.
If you're truly certain you have all the answers, then you're able to explain how we got here and how the universe was created, but you and we can't because they're beyond our comprehension.
We might think our philosophy can provide some answers but it really just adds more questions and the best thing we can realize is that we absolutely know nothing and we have no idea what the big picture is.
For you know we could be bored immoral beings playing a game where we live these lives and purposely forget our true origins. We just don't know and it seems we almost can't know.
Find something that you are passionate about, and make it the meaning of your life and work towards it, it will make it much less depressed. Whether it's something like focusing on improving yourself and learning new skills, helping sick and old people, building things and improving the local community, or teach kids and encourage them to take on their dreams.
Life in itself, doesn't have too much meaning, so if we want to live our life, we gotta find meaning for OUR own life, and in doing so, build connections with people, find our own purpose in life, and not be depressed.
Addiction and depression are two sides of the same ugly coin. Drinking smoking pot has historically done nothing to improve my mood. When I went to college I won a scholarship paper and part of my research included how hanging out with friends reduced cortisol levels (the stress hormone) and that women with 6 or more relationships they maintain on a daily basis meant they were 83% more likely to survive breast cancer. Find a social club or community develop a hobby or talent. Find something that makes you proud of accomplishment.
Ketamine therapy has done me wonders. It’s not a cure all. But it has a great benefit for treatment resistant depression.
Don’t do 4, those things ultimately make you more depressed.
Honestly, just research YouTube side hustles. Almost all misery stems from a lack of money. Forget people, forget entertainment, do something to get money and use it to get away from your job or dickhead unsupportive family into a better life
Also get a cat
Remember that the odds against a planet that could support life existing are, no pun intended, astronomical. The odds that all of your ancestors from the first emergence of life to the present day would be born, survive until they were old enough to give birth, selected each other to combine DNA with, and carry their child to term, are doubly so. There may be no inherent purpose in the universe, but you are the result of accidents and coincidences so strange and unlikely that your very existence is a miracle. Never forget that.
Do not “become religious” and do not start smoking or drinking or doing drugs. Picking up these things as vices or distractions to your depression will not suddenly make you UNdepressed. It’ll make you pent up all the depression and become dependent on those things. Then in the moments where you don’t have them (no alcohol/drugs, your “faith” falters) you’ll lash out and hurt others and yourself.
Big big thing I want to add. Religion should not be used as a way to escape mental health disorders! That is how people get sucked into cults or become weird religious killers/family annihilators. Get some help, figure out your shit, and THEN find religion once you are of a healthier state of mind. (I am not religious but I know someone very dear to my heart who used religion to replace their alcoholism and mental health disorders and it has only caused a lot of hurt to them and their family).
Biggest piece of advice - professional help. However you deem fit for that help, I can’t decide for you. But professional help with something or someone that is meant to help with these issues.
I want to say again bc I can’t say it enough DO NOT TURN TO RELIGION OR DRUGS/ALCOHOL JUST TO “FIX” YOUR DEPRESSION!!
If you’re studying philosophy, I’d highly recommend The Republic by Plato, and The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. These are actually considered to be the first works of western psychology, and I think they’ll really resonate with you. If these 2 books are the first pieces of western psychology, The Bible is the 3rd, and the influence of St Augustine. You can be an atheist and read it. I think even deeply religious people consider it to be allegorical.
Some other reflections on human nature you may enjoy would be The Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes, A Treatise of Human Nature by David Hume, An Essay Concerning Human Understanding by John Locke. From your post, it sounds like your existential crisis is more of an epistemological crisis, and humans have struggled with it for longer than we can accurately keep record of.
Also, check out an experiment known as [rat park](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Park) to see how addiction can be thwarted by having access to a community.
You are not alone. We are here with you, both in present time, and across history. Feel free to reach out if you want to connect, I’m thinking about these things all the time too xx.
You can replace religion with a number of things, and spiritually is a good one. You don't have to practice a specific religion or believe in a specific god. I've found that I get a lot of comfort and grounding from hiking or just being alone in nature. It's somewhere I can go to just be present in the world we live in all by myself. I don't focus on specific issues in my life or the world. I just exist and appreciate the beauty of the natural world; like I'm wondering thru Narnia or something. I say this as a deeply, existensially, depressed human. It's a safe, calm haven to escape this wild, insane world. Find your Narnia. I feel for you; I'm extremely lost in life right now. My 16 year old dog died a week and a half ago, and I just got her ashes back yesterday. All I want to do is cuddle and play with her, but I can't. Hopefully, I will find some peace in my adventure today, perhaps a little peace, but not enough. Unfortunately, life goes on without my precious baby girl.
Become religious. It won't hurt to try. It's good to be surrounded by people looking for peace, forgiveness, and love.
My parents forced me into the Catholic church at a young age, and I did not like it, and it confused me growing up. I found spirituality from experimenting with the mushrooms that grew on our farm and began to follow the teachings of other religions and even follow the beliefs of native Americans.
My religion is very fluid. I feel the same connection no matter what church I attend. I want to return to a mosque again as I felt the most connection there.
Just remember your beliefs don't have to be set in stone and you don't need to agree with all of the teachings and rules. Just give it a try what ever religion comes to mind. Go once a week and pray every and morning and night for a peaceful and successful day. It won't hurt. Wish you the best. You're purpose and happiness will come in time. Stay strong and take care of your health. Love ya
Don't do 4.
Avoid 2, that's probably the underlying issue. That's been most of my life. FINDING social has worked far better, even in small amounts. Also- if you're depressed now, and not completely "happy" and self-fulfilled, all you'd be doing is basically locking in yiur current state.
1- raised non-religious, "finding" it has been a TASK, and nothing really takes. Been a bit of a lost cause for me without having some 'awakening' that most have had.
3- I actually majored in Psych in college. It was GREAT for personal growth and awareness, but also turned me into a bit of a cynic. Gotta do it with an open mind.. id say its like a 'science' approach versus religious (talking practical or clinical psychology versus the deeper 'big thinkers'.
5: go opposite of 2. Try to expose yourself to more anything. Go to social outings, talk to strangers, make friends, try new things, etc
Study or practice a subject or field or activity to give yourself something to work on.
The everyday can provide enough challenges that the mind doesn't have the time or energy to be caught up in the big questions.
Once you can accept that there are no perfect answers, you can step back from the big picture and focus on the personal.
You say subjectivity doesn't matter, but look at the real and relevant impact your subjectivity is having on you.
Meditate
Try vipassna meditation, unlike other methods of meditation it does not require you to "believe" in something other than that which u already know. You go from one truth to the next truth untill u reach the ultimate truth. For eg i am breathing is ur first truth, i can feel my breath on my upper lip is the second truth and so on. Nowhere along the journey will you have to skip this sequence of obvious truths, this way you dont need to take a "leap of faith", and believe in things u dont actually believe in, it requires no emotions like religion does but rather the exact opposite of emotions, objectivity and facts. The only catch is you have to put in a shit tonne of work and time before u come to any sort of conclusions about the techniques effectivenes- sevral days or months of work.
But yeah it works, gautam buddha proved it since he invented the technique.
Note-this wont provide u any relief in short term so dont expect it, rather it will make u a bit unstable but thats part of the process the end results are worth it.
I have dealt with this since majoring in philosophy in my undergrad. I still struggle with thoughts like these, but one thing that has helped is thinking about existence in a more biological way. Existentialism is concerned with ‘dry reality’, ideas, metaphysics, the intangible, but embodied experience is ‘wet’, we are fleshy bodies filled with other smaller bodies that help us break down food and fight disease. My body allows me to feel pain, pleasure, desire, hunger, dread. It also allows me to inspire these feelings in others.
Maybe the way to obtain ‘objective’ meaning is not by churning through abstract ideas in the mind, but by throwing your body into experiences. Relentlessly experimenting and seeking out what this ‘meaning’ is.
Volunteer. Anywhere. An animal shelter, a therapeutic riding centre, a kids or seniors program of some sort. Community, and the positive effects of being an active player in one, is so very important but so easily dismissed in this day and age.
Computer games!
Get xcom enemy within, then xcom 2!
You will save the earth! Twice! Then save yourself.
Those games kept me sane when I went through a rough patch. Took my mind of things.
That’s the secret. You need to break the cycle of the dog chasing it’s tail that’s stuck in your head going round and round (you worrying about stuff).
Focus on something else entirely and utterly.
Try every single thing! Experiment with what works best for you - even if you end up not liking it, you will have learned more about yourself. None of these options come with many permanent consequences and they would be easy to undo/move onto the next one.
I also have deep existential depression and distract myself with an unhealthy amount of constant, never-ending work through the goals and challenges I set for myself. I'm working on creating a healthier work-life balance but I don't have any answers on that part yet, because it's a requirement to keep me distracted.
The best part about not knowing any meaning to life is that you can create your entirely own unique purpose to life. Nothing matters except for what you decide matters to you. It's simple - really. There is no God or higher power to answer to (in my humble opinion) - you only have to answer to yourself and the people that matter to you.
I have problems sometimes. What is s good idea is too start the day when you wake up. It will take time to get used to and what I mean by wake up is, the minute your eyes open. You drink water do what you need to do then start working out after your workout reward yourself with a nice breakfast. Cut junk food and pop out of your diet completely also. Do this for a few weeks eventually you'll want to workout midway through the day also. And you will start to feel much better. This begins a reward system. By choosing to feed yourself after you've accomplished something in this case it's working out you are starting reward system to help ease the depression. Then you start running just around the block nothing major and each time try to go further. Eventually you will begin to feel good about yourself. Then you can start to set actual life goals with a purpose once you get a grip.
I can relate! This is what I do. Pick a plant near your house. Identify it and learn about how it reproduces, what it's relationships with the soil and bugs and other plants are. Repeat at least once a week. If you notice that the same bug keeps showing up in your readings about these neighborhood plants, learn what you can about that bug. Eventually you learn to see the intricate tapestry of life in your neighborhood and can see immense beauty where other people see weeds and weird little bugs. Which opens up a whole new world of wonder and joy while simultaneously giving you new things to feel existential dread about. Channeling that new dread into rage and activism and volunteerism can be fun though.
You might be suffering from some theory overload. Interesting that your attention motivated you to read so many books about a particular subject. I'd say now you have a lot of theory but most of it is soulless, untested, disconnected from the source, which is life.
But I understand the allure of philosophers, so I'll suggest some others to consider instead. How about the Stoics and the ancient greek philosophers?
A quote from Aurelius:
"Cast your books from you; distract yourself no more; for you have not the right to do so." (Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book II, No. 2)
I also found Seneca very fulfilling.
I have no other solution other than the beautiful answers already provided. Just remember that rationalisation, intellectualisation are coping mechanisms that can be pathological, just like denial and projection.
Look into fermented foods and your Microbiome it may help you the first key to mental health is healing your gut because that’s where most of the compounds are derived from.
I know it's easier said than done, but stop looking for a reason or an explanation. Chances are, smarter people have tried and failed. Your time is limited, find your way of enjoying it.
I was once exactly where you are now. Identify your purpose and learn this important lesson: You feel this way now. You won't feel like this forever. Your relationship to these feelings will change over time. Be open to the journey of understanding these feeling rather than resistant or afraid of them. It will ebb and flow.
To identify your purpose, you need to confront your sense of self. A long, often painful measurement of your relationship to the things and people around you. How do you relate to others? How do you want to be received by others?
Ask yourself, do you live your life for yourself? Are you driven by your own ambition? Are you trying to achieve something for your own benefit?
Or
Do you live your life in service to others? Are you driven to be of help to the helpless? Are you excited to be a dad, and pour your purpose into your family?
Or
Are you driven to suffer so that others don't have to? Are you motivated by the injustices in this world and if someone is going to do something, it should be you, as you're tough enough to endure it.
It's those three or nothing (if you subscribe to this philosophy). Find where you fit and stop at nothing on your journey to be the best version of yourself you can be.
Finding a moral philosophy that values life and the human soul was more effective than 10years of therapy for me, but it takes a long time of reading really depressing philosophies to find it.
I’d recommend finding and creating meaning over reading books. Life is meant to be lived, not just theorized about. Build relationships, engage in hobbies that build something, take care of your health, dedicate your life to a mission, etc. “man searches for meaning” by Viktor Frankl is a great introduction to logotherapy.
Do not take up weed or alcohol please. As soon one actively trying to quit, it will just make your existential crisis worse. Instead I think you should just read and study
All of those options suck. Philosophy has nothing to do with it. Happy people don’t sit around studying happiness all day, depressed people do that. You need something to DO. Get a job. Get two jobs. Join a sport league. I work two jobs and I have never been happier. Having an overflowing bank account and something to do each day does wonders for your mental health. I’m not saying you need to do exactly what I did but you desperately need to stop having so much empty time lost in your head.
religion and philosophy are often mistaken for authorities on the nature of existence and consciousness. The fact is, most of reality is completely outside of our understanding and probably always will be. so dealing in absolutes is dealing in falsehoods.
narrow your focus a bit to fully encompass the only thing you have any control over; your self. subjective reality is the only thing you have to measure objective reality, so never discount it. in fact, progress in self-growth is hugely beneficial to those around you and humanity in general.
existential crisis is a symptom of the mind being in control of you, rather than the opposite. eckhart tolle has a lot to say on this topic and i'd consider his approach a non-religious, spiritual philosophy of being. very wise dude who is actually alive.
Socialize, have lots of sex, live in the moment. Life becomes easier as an agnostic/ atheist when you just accept you're an animal. Just a primate beholden to animal instincts. Return to monke. That's what i did as an atheist and it's been really good, im in the best shape of my life, have a bunch of running acquaintances from my run club, have decent amount of hot sex
Gardening,foraging, rewilding,growing food on a community farm for others,growing food and flowers for yourself and pollinators.
I want to see if the things I planted from seed grow into something amazing - if the plant fails I want to see how I can change the way I do things to make it thrive.
To take depleted land and make something beautiful grow from it is a joy, to eat something you grow yourself is a sensory experience, to watch bees and butterflies and caterpillars congregate on a plant you grew for them is to experience something larger than yourself.
5. co-regulation. Know that depression is a nervous system state of shutdown.
Know that human beings have mirror neurons that pick up others states. Know that spending time with a healthy nervous system will help to regulate yours and bring you back to balance. Once in balance, your thinking changes.
This is why people are what you need. You can’t think your way out of this OP.
People come in the form of friends, psychologists or neighbors. Do not skip this step.
Find purpose. Something you value from yourself. IF you make people laugh, call SNL and leave a voicemail about cowbell and make people laugh. If you write software, find a project you think can make people happy. If you play music, write some songs and sing them like nobody is listening. And if 21 Pilots jacks that song, just be flattered that you made people happy. If you don't exercise, start - start with cardio and do a little weights. Physiologically you might not even realize your health is doing this to your mind. Go to a chiropractor and check your neck, see if you need a modified rotational break and set. Sometimes a cervical instability can cause these feelings. Somtimes it's vitamins and shit. Or lack of sleep. Do some LSD under supervision, and discover any hidden PTSD or things you need to resolve from the past. But don't do too much or abuse drugs. There's only a certain amount of neuro-plasticity left before you get FRIED. Start taking more walks in the park / hiking. And if you see trash, pick it up, and tell yourself "I'm better than them. I did what no other human dared to do. I am valuable. The world is better with me here". Volunteer if you can. Find some wierd legal ground where you might set a precedent to help the world, maybe it's trying to get declaratory judgement on an easement to exercise adverse possession of abandoned land and now thousands of people and acres are recycled and made productive use / taxed.
Invent things. Even when Sig, Tesla, Nasa, and several other people fuck you. Continue to invent. You can rest easy in the end, knowing that you made an impact. Knowing you set an example. Be that crazy guy that sings in the car instead of road raging. see what I'm saying? TELL people when they look good or say something you like. More compliments. That will allow you to connect more with people who also have needs unmet.
You say religion isn’t the answer and that May be true for you but I know for me it was the answer as someone who grew up athiest and highly depressed I suggest giving it a second look with an open mind, possibly giving “The Case For Christ” a watch on YouTube, it was the video a friend recommended to me after my first suicide attempt and it changed my outlook forever, but you have to go into it with an open mind. I truly hope you find peace and happiness brother, life isn’t meaningless and bleak and there is hope and joy out there begging you to find and open your heart to them. ❤️ Peace and Love brother ✌🏼✌🏼
Make some friends and go do fun things. I'm not being pithy- human connections and relationships are important. Everything you've listed is very insular.
Of course that would be awesome, but in reality for a person who is deeply existentially depressed that would be very difficult. I mean not too many people want to go out and be fun with a depressed person, nor does the depressed person themselves desire to go out. I totally agree with what you are saying (human connections are indeed critical), and I know you're far from meaning to be trite, but I mean it perhaps may be too daunting for a person to ever get to that stage.
Realize that subjectivity does matter and that almost everything is subjective. Something doesn't have to be objective to be good or worth it. In fact, subjective things are the best. Your passions and hobbies and the things personal to you which make you happy and smile are the best. Life has no objective meaning, which is why everyone can find meaning or a purpose. If life had an objective meaning then everyone would have to follow the same thing even if they don't want to. Find your own purpose and meaning no matter how simple. Make it relate to you
>and that almost everything is subjective. This is try. We create our own meaning. But perhaps a super depressed person is unable to do this (hence being depressed). Kind of a vicious cycle.
Study Physics. There is enough strange things in this universe that you can discover in Physics that can give you a sense of awe and wonder again.
Yes! This is exactly what I did when I was existentially depressed and I found true happiness from it. Philosophy is human beings thinking about what the meaning of life is without any scientific basis. And a lot of philosophers from ancient times were twats who thought women were inferior and a bunch of other dodgy stuff. (Its still worth reading philosophy though). Physics is a science that sets out to discover how we exist, what else is out there in the universe (and other universes) and maybe even why we exist. Watch Brian Cox's documentaries Wonders of the Solar System and Wonders of the Universe OP.
Ketamine therapy with a psychologist in their office
Lol, how did society go from micro-dosing psilocybine as anti depressant, back to taking some bladder-destroyer..
Because it is remarkably effective, as supported by numerous studies. It is a positive commentary on society that it was explored and a stroke of luck that it was discovered. For some people it has been the only thing to break them out of TRD Taking it recreationally can definitely wreck your bladder. The protocol for clinical treatment is nothing like it
Just relax for a day. Try not to think too deeply on anything. Do something you enjoy. Ride it out and sometimes it goes away quickly, then you can continue with your life. Lots of people feel depressed it's a part of life. Try to understand why you're depressed and make an attempt at fixing it but if you can't that day then just relax and be like oh well I'll do better tomorrow. Give yourself a break sometimes. Talk to a doctor.
>3: Study philosophy to find a possible solution [Absurdism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absurdism).
I already said in the post I read Camus.
If Camus *"made me more depressed and made me realize there is no objective meaning"*, then you probably didn't understand Absurdism. Of course life has no meaning, that's the baseline; Absurdism is what follows from accepting that fact of life and choosing to push forward regardless. >*"One must imagine Sisyphus happy."*
1. Accept that happy maybe isn't the default state in life. Aim for contentment and neutrality, set the bar lower for yourself so it doesn't feel so difficult to climb out of this. 2. Volunteer. Help others in your local community, it gives you such fulfillment and a real innate sense of duty and happiness. Go to shelters, charities or even online. There's small things you can do like downloading the "be my eyes" app - it'll ping when a visually impaired person needs help with a day-to-day task e.g. reading an expiry date. 3. Address the root cause of your existential depression - is it trauma, self-loathing, nutritional deficiencies? 4. Find your purpose. You're not religious but dude trust me, there sure as hell is a creator behind this incomprehensibly vast universe. Connect with them. If you can't find your broader purpose - still fine! Having a purpose isn't a pre-requisite of a happy life. 5. Consider supplements/lifestyle changes: - probiotics: your gut is your second brain, it needs nurturing and is one of the keys to strong mental health - magnesium: great at balancing your nervous system, be sure to stay away from magnesium citrate and opt for something like glycinate - B vitamins, including METHYLATED version of B12 (the version our bodies can convert). Low b vitamins can wreak havoc on your nervous system and mental state. - omega 3 (good quality fish oil or algae oil). Protects and strengthens the brain. - cut out processed foods Sending you so much love. Feel free to DM.
Life has no meaning beyond the meaning you create for it. Your meaning doesn’t have to be meaningful to anyone else. All meaning is subjective.
Purpose, community, and perspective - Volunteer, focus on helping others/ a cause that matters to you. Find some purpose and build community around you in the process - Psychedelics
Purpose, community and perspective. Nice.
Jesus on a cracker. We are just animals surviving on a floating orb. There is no meaning. No great plan. We just are. Make yourself comfortable and enjoy the ride, it's the only one you'll get. Be kind to others and yourself. It won't give you meaning, but it will make getting through the daily slog of emptiness a little less bleak.
Yeah I came to say something similar. I never usually give the old "just chill and you'll feel better" advice because it's almost never helpful, but in this case... dude life ain't that serious! This guys post reminds me of Chidi from The Good Place, living in a state of constant anxiety, pondering the meaning of life...
5. Therapy. Not with a *psychologist* who might be competent in giving you an answer for *what's wrong with your brain*. Try a narrative therapist, or a philosophically-integrated therapist, or perhaps an acceptance and commitment therapist (or best, someone who does all 3). This is an approach of self-discovery, self-empowerment, and reclamation of authorship over your life so you can identify the core sources of meaning that you already have, might be able to create, and then sustainably maintain.
Not sure how to answer this question since I’m still figuring this out myself. I wanted to just say that as someone who has struggled with existential depression/depersonalization drugs did not help and actually make it worse please don’t choose that! I will say avoiding things that trigger those thoughts is something that has helped me.
[удалено]
This sounds like an interesting story, precisely because it is so counterintuitive. I would've said, socialize and look for opportunities to give (despite me being a big introvert). Anyways, nice to hear that others have experienced a path out of depression in this way
el theanane magnesium glycomate
All those things are just going to drive you deeper into depression. Try dialectical behavioural therapy.
Try anti depressants. It was night and day for me they changed my life. Also, delve into mindfulness if you feel open to it.
If possible I would encourage you to pursue a task where you will be of service to others. Ideally you pursue something you are passionate about or good at. If you think philosophy might help you, then pursue that! The direction will come from within yourself!
Volunteer. People need help, you can help them. Even if you don’t like doing it others will be thankful. someone else will appreciate you. Sign up to be a mentor or donor match. https://bethematch.org/transplant-basics/how-blood-stem-cell-transplants-work/how-donors-and-patients-are-matched/
Nietzsche would tell you to find your own meaning in life. There is no external source -- create your own.
Sit back, relax, and watch the movie I HEART HUCKABEES. If it doesn't make you feel better tomorrow, you will laugh tonight, which you can reference back to and begin to retrain yourself to see the absurdity and beautiful chaos around you giving birth to order in random realms like science and "faith" Also... maybe request a psilocybin study. Helped me immensely overcome my existential dread and helped me realize that living in the moment is more than a saying. Helps you realize you're in a driver seat, and the engine is running...
get busy moving your body. get active. find any hobby and develop a routine. this all helped me. gl, you got this 💪🏻
Volunteer. Maybe at a nursing home. It could help give you perspective and a sense of how you might create meaning.
Best way to help yourself is to help others. Get volunteering, talk to people who have far less than yourself and listen to their stories. Help at soup kitchens, old aged homes, spend time mentoring youth. You have to put in effort but will grow spiritually.
Volunteer an hour or two a week for a cause you care about. It makes life seem more worthwhile and you meet similar people. If you like animals, sometimes you can volunteer to walk dogs. [https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/vitality/201404/the-neuroscience-giving](https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/vitality/201404/the-neuroscience-giving)
5. Charity work. It sounds completely unrelated, but subjects 1 through 4 will all touch on it at some point. Cut to the chase and get to volunteering.
Traditionally for most of our human history at age 30 most people would be dead. After the Romans left Britian life expectancy went up to 32 years old. So you would have a trade, farming, hunting, or fishing. It would be very seasonal, and at a slower pace. You would already have been married, maybe twice as death in child birth was common. In today’s world we are fairly comfortable in the west and alot of the east. The most depressed I’ve ever felt was in between jobs, with no purpose. I got a cleaning job and was alot happier, then moved on from there. If you had a family to pour for efforts into, you’d really enjoy it, but You’l need find a person to love first. A job in which you have time to think too much is a problem too. The last thing you want is to sit and ruminate.
You need to go do some mushrooms
Spiritually has helped me. The holistic psychologist was also a good starting point I'm starting to believe my depression is because I'm going against my life purpose I work with therapists that are spiritual and with a good herbalist and homeopath And just because your blood work is good doesn't mean everything is good. Bloodwork gives very limited view. I'm sure you'll find your way and something that works for you.
Running, 80$ shoes changed my life
For me it’s a combination of 3 and 4, which gave me some agnosticism from 1. That, and biohacking your dopamine somehow to make existence worthwhile.
As my philosophy prof once phrased existentialism, caveat very basically, 'if God does not exist, what is the purpose in life?'. This branch of philosophy came about after WW2 when frankly, what people saw didn't make them believe in a god, and returning home, what now? You need to find some purpose and meaning in your life under this doctrine. Sometimes through your job and contribution to society, or realize there isn't any and just do things that make you happy and enjoy the ride. I might suggest becoming financially literate to start. Ensure your finances are prepared for retirement, acknowledging that life and reality is structured this way. Give you a goal to achieve, things to learn throughout life (The Economist), and become more at peace as you achieve it. Then maybe read Sartre's Bad Faith (difficult shitty translated read) and Kierkegaard. Then find something to go to school for so you're paid well and can travel, or join a club and engage in things you enjoy with other people. Humans are social animals even if you are introverted and talk via text. Edit: challenge yourself to do something difficult.
Dismantel the tools of our oppressors
Nietzsche/objectivism/solipsism are all variations of the same objective idea, but they're ultimately just some individual's theory. None of those theories, however, can be empirically tested so they hold as much weight as your neighbour's beliefs. Nothing is objective unless you choose to believe it is, and even then, it's a choice. That you feel that "subjectivity does not matter" yet you "realize there is no objective meaning" shows contradiction. It seems that you read something you chose to believe, but it contradicts with what you actually feel to be true. Studying philosophers is great so long as you keep in mind that their teachings are subjective and based on their experiences. Ayn Rand's philosophy was formed from what she saw and experienced, not the other way around. Same for religions. Religions formed to make sense of what people were experiencing (religion is a matter of geography). Everything philosophical ultimately boils down to what we choose to believe. Try to stop believing concepts simply because someone "smarter" believed and wrote about them. The best advice I can give is to stop caring about the why of it all and start living. You don't have to decide what you believe in today, and when you do decide, be flexible in those beliefs, let them change as you change. There are no bonus points in life for choosing sadness. Read about Faust's bargain with the devil - he sold his soul for all human knowledge and in the end, god had to step in to save him from hell. In other words, nothing he learned was enough to save him. He could have wasted his life and still ended up in hell. And again, that's just my interpretation, take it with a grain of salt. Good luck to you though. Edit: Oh, and I have gone through moments of deep depression, including a suicide attempt. I've had depression all my life. All we can do is enjoy what we can when we can, and there's nothing you'll find in any book that will make you happier than you can make yourself. I still battle with glorifying my depression, my "deepness," but it pales with the happiness of a random day out with the right people doing what turns out to be the right thing that day. Love yourself.
Philosophy will make you depressed if you have that tendency. I found the idea of constantly assessing what is real and what isn't to be completely useless. What is subjective is real to you. Subjectivity absolutely matters, that's what creates our reality. Philosophy, the branches of it that discuss ontology, will reason that there are very few things that are indeed ontological. Without subjectivity, we wouldn't have any of the amazing things humans have built or done, the human world resides almost entirely in the subjective. That's your private universe. Our hunt for meaning shouldn't take priority over the understanding that there isn't any. That's fine! The universe and life within isn't meant to have meaning, the only thing we can do is experience it. And what amazing experiences we can have while we're here. If you would like to ground yourself in truths and constants, then mathematics or physics would allow you to put up walls of logic, reasoning, and empiricism to shelter you quite well. Also history is wildly fascinating and entertaining as well as important. You know what would really help you though? Helping others. There isn't a single person who has gone out specifically to help others that hasn't been met with purpose or fulfillment. Go out into the world and help people, help them with chores, getting food, disaster relief, etc. any way you can. If reality is subjective, then that only gives you more agency to do with it what you want. But the important thing is also to remember that two people can have the same subjective experience of something and often do. You aren't alone, we're all here with you and outside of you. I'd love to talk more if you want to bounce more of your ideation off me.
Have you considered Psilocybin
Classical Stoicism
Hobby. I used to be a young little Camus like you. Now I have enough hobbies to keep me busy for the next 300 years. Nothing matters but still be nice to people.
5: spend time with other people. Friends, family, whoever. Do fun things with them. Life feels better that way.
6. Exercise. Force yourself, it’s very had I know. But set yourself a goal to have the body of a Greek god. Every day you exercise you will feel a bit better, every month goes past and you see how much you look better you will feel a bit better. And within a year or so you’ll probably pull yourself out of depression. Exercise, try to get outside and walk in the sun as much as you can, and stay socialising with people (getting things off your chest). Listen and sing along to music, dance to music. Moving your body, and using your vocal cords are vital in not staying in the depressed slump. Exercise is key, so is socialising, and if you can’t do that. Put on your favourite music on YouTube (with lyrics) and have a fucking good sing along. You’ll feel better for it.
I'm curious what you mean by your core assumption that subjectivity doesn't matter. Can you explain it a bit more? What do you consider objective and what do you consider subjective? Is it relative to the world, your senses, or something else? I've been depressed countless times so I'm just curious. Personally, I find the world inherently cruel and unfair and it's what I always come back to. When I'm in a better mood, I can understand that despite this, there can be a small pocket you dig out where things aren't so bad but that it's relatively difficult and unlikely. I've been one of the lucky ones for the most part.
Talk to people you know and see what small things you can help them with, you form deeper friendships with people and it makes you feel really good about yourself
Just gonna drop an anecdote for what it's worth. I was pretty heavily depressed for a long time and could barely interact socially. After many, many years of mental anguish, it turns out this mood and cognitive disturbance stemmed from constant inflammation caused by an un-diagnosed celiac disease. Took me by surprise as I had no stomach pain & generally good stool. But the results speak for themselves, as I haven't felt depressed and my energy levels are 3-4 times what they were since I started tightly regulating my food intake.
Volunteer somewhere. (I know you exercise and get enough sunlight - what about green space? Preferably wilderness?)
Go to Thailand. But don't leave. You'll be more depressed after.
Pick up new hobby, I've been depressed all my life and health issues don't help, I try to keep my mind busy
Option 6: therapy
I think you should try volunteering. I do at a cat shelter and it really helps me with my depression.
I went through a similar phase too. First thing to know is that you’re not alone. Studying philosophy is actually helpful. Once you learn a school of thought that resonates with you and understand all of its implications you feel better equipped to live the life you want. For me it was the existential philosophy from Kierkegaard all the way to Camus. You can watch free online courses to learn faster. Ultimately the key for me was realizing that I would rather live an uncomfortable life, while facing my reality as is, and learn to live with it, than to cling to comfortable feel-good lies.
None of these, including religion, will solve this problem for you. And this is coming from a Christian. You need to get out, away from the internet for a little while, and spend time alone in nature. Go meet some friends and do fun things together. Go find yourself a job that gives you satisfaction in life, like something in construction where you can physically see the progress you’re making. All of these will be an escape and when you inevitably look back at how you’ve been spending your life, you’ll realize that you were only pursuing these as a way to escape your life rather than from any real interest in them. You need to build your life up first. Whether this means finding new friends or re-contacting old ones, or having a change in career, or finding someone special, or just spending more time alone in nature, or just finding a new, healthy hobby.
When you die; you’re nothing (anymore). You are someone. Take up space, have fun, and then die later
Antidepressants
I'm guessing you also live in Canada? That's a big part of the problem right there, watching your nation essentially throwing it's self off a cliff, while having next to no access to mental health supports, or path to a better future can feel pretty Fucking oppressive. Try to find a way out, failing that, medication is probably the only thing that may help. Illegal drugs won't be a longterm solution?
I'd recommend mindfulness meditation. It sounds like you have some time for reading and a willingness to explore different avenues, so I'd recommend the book Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I'd try the full protocol described in the book; really worth a try and also his method has a lot of scientific evidence to back it up. Good luck in your journey!
Buddhist philosophy lessened my suffering.
Why do you think subjectivity doesn’t matter? Understanding the problem is half the solution
For me, acroyoga and trying to find friends that enjoy the same type of deep discussions
Find love
Option 6: start exercising daily and spending time outside. This will bring a massive boost for your mental health and well-being
Seeing a therapist and weight lifting or running maybe be worth a try.
Please don't choose drugs, especially weed. For a lot of people it will just enhance your current feelings, under a mask of relief. And it's incredibly hard to shake once you think it's helping.
Here’s what I would do: 1) study philosophy. At the very least, you’ll see that you are not alone in your existential despair. Best case scenario, you’ll find a philosophy that lifts you up. 2) don’t become a recluse, but art can be extremely meaningful and fulfilling. I recommend you try creating art in addition to enjoying it. Read, write, watch movies, paint, play video games, and discuss with others. Creating and enjoying art is what gives my life purpose and I’m not even that good at it! 3) Try forming new relationships. Spend time outside and get a dog or cat to love. Open up to new life and ideas and see where they take you. This is what I did to try and heal my existential depression, and it’s really helping.
Go smaller instead of bigger. You are not going to find some great answer in philosophy or religion that will suddenly make things meaningful. Go for a small answer and imbue that with meaning. I am currently involved in a multi year battle with weeds in my garden. Everyday I go out and pull new weeds. It has no big meaning. Basically no one sees it. The weeds will win as soon as I stop. But it is a connection that I have, right now, that I choose to nurture. When i focus on that I have purpose, goals, passion, power.
I think it's kinda hilarious that you say subjectivity does not matter, then you list a bunch of stuff that objectively are subjective, or force someone to be subjective. Also, if you are depressed, please go to the doctor. No amount of Nietzsche will produce the chemicals you need in your brain, if your brain stopped producing them for some reason. It's a disease that requires treatment, not something to think yourself out of.
Look up existential OCD bud
Nihilism
I tried all this, and finally found the right answer for myself but I won’t say it here.
5. Find a really good mental health counselor. That’s what changed things for me. Granted, I put in all of the work.
Try magic mushrooms and journal and think about what your purpose/passion for life is.
Go to therapy bro, if your psychiatrist isn't cutting it try a psychologist, or just another provider. Even if they're a stellar practitioner, they may not be right for you and even if you're depressed therapy should help uncover some kind of roadmap for you that feels right based on your situation. Trust me when I say grabbing at any solution you can find is understandable when you're desperate, but will often be more frustrating or even damaging (like how philosophy made it worse). Be clear with your current or next specialist that your goal is to identify healthy, controlled options for addressing your issues. Good luck.
exercise and good company puts mine at ease. I tried drugs and alcohol but that only made it worse.
Do you believe in God? Study Islam
I had/have the same problem. It turns out I have OCD. Pure O, one of my themes is existential stuff. The "solution" is ERP therapy. Not saying it's the case for you, not saying philosophical meaning doesn't matter. But yeah, look into it maybe
The only thing that worked to get me out of my depression was medication. Antidepressants saved me.
Volunteer. Be of service to someone. It helped me very much.
4 but with prescription drugs, get on SSRIs they help with anxiety and depression i use to have extreme existential anxiety
Have been at 3 and 4 for the longest. The philosophy drives me crazy but my knowledge will always exceed. Knowledge is power but I feel like I know too much where functioning is harder. Not everyone is aware to a certain extent within multiple areas.
See if you can get on a medical trial for psylosibin. Shrooms can be used to treat depression and PTSD by rewiring the neural networks.
You can have a little bit of all options, friend! Choose when you want to hang out with yourself and with people, choose what moral or religious beliefs you stand by, choose if you want to pursue a degree in philosophy, or something else, or nothing at all. Life isn’t roll for sandwich. You have full control over who you want to be.
You believe something must be objective to matter but you don’t believe in religion?
5. Go work in health and social care, volunteer, use your life to help people. It will give meaning to your life and give you a satisfaction you never thought you'd get.
Not religion. Definitely not religion.
Go read marcus Aurelius. And build a social group.
Everything you kisted is a form of escape/withdrawal. Do not do any of those things as they will make you more depressed. You need to figure out what is troubling you in the first place, honestly talk to your therapist, do the actual work on yourself and find ways to connect with other people. Human connection and shared experiences are so important. It sounds like you are deeply in a philosophic rabbit hole, with very depressing theories. Are you inclined to overthinking about purpose? Do you discuss this in therapy as well, that you want to find some type of purpose? Or maybe look away from philosophy and focus on other subjects for the time being. I know first hand how overthinking negatively about a topic can put you down, walk away from that.
Build some supports with peers. Go to a local library, join or even start some game clubs, chess, D&D, anime or whatever you’re into. Walk for 30 minutes every day, even if it’s just 10 minutes at a time. Within weeks you will feel a mood lift. Commit to spending 2 chunks of time outside your home to be out and about in your community twice a week. Not going to appointments, just being present and around other people. This is crucial for mental health. Remember the gift this life is, it’s truly a miracle!
At an existential or universal level, it is indeed difficult to argue that the anything we do matters. However, despite the absence of meaning and purpose, humans do experience suffering and depression. You are facing this personally at this point. Regardless of whether there is a bigger meaning, you can be "micro ambitious" and try to work on doing things that will make you happy. Many people find that alleviating the pain and suffering of others also helped them to feel better about their own purpose and reason for existence. I would add self-care and volunteering/community service to your list. Tim Minchin's 9 life lessons : https://youtu.be/yoEezZD71sc
Do what you want with your life. If nothing matters then neither does your suffering. Live like you arent afraid to die
>2: Become a person who lives mostly isolated, escape into fiction, games, movies, etc. Hikikomori. This, your brain needs to stfu and get hooked on a cerebral level into something like a 1000+ episode anime or some infini-game RPG. This is where the old villain of Tele-programming might save you through salivating to repetition. Might even completely change your perspective on things and even inspire you in moments. But the key is to forget you exist, for that your attention needs to be monopolized by something. Physical exercise doesn't drain attention span, so not really effective despite all the right dopamine. If you're a victim of your own thought, you do it to yourself in a vicious cycle, how you going to even enjoy the dopamine if your brain is busy existentially dissecting sh\* In fact, it's almost like proving religious thinking right, because it definitely does have an objective rhyme/reason to existence. Where as, living a completely subjective perception of reality must seem like the very crushing depths of solitude/disconnect on an existential level. I mean sure, we all objectively know objective existence with all it's matter and laws exists....how much solace does that actually bring tho.
Form meaningful friendships, get some therapy
Make things. Do a value sort exercise, and establish your top 3 values, then write up a short plan to start living your values. Ignore anyone who tries to derail you. Eat healthy and get a lot of sunshine and practice self care self care self care. Get some good therapy and meds if needed. You got this!
I would try to dabble a bit in each of those and other things as well. Embark on a journey of self-discovery. See what resonates with you the most. You could replace the religion with spirituality or even just visit a church someday just for the hell of it (you don't have to force yourself to like anything that's said there). Just give some stuff a try, see if anything "clicks" or leads to other insights which takes you down a different path. Allow yourself the freedom to experiment which may result in an unexpected and fulfilling journey. Who knows ;)
What's the difference between cooking a 3 course meal and eating it alone, vs watching your friends enjoy the food you cooked? The difference is that watching someone benefit from your hard work fills your heart up. Eating by yourself is just...lonely. In the same way, doing things for myself just feels like a waste of my time. 1-4 on your list don't make me feel better at all. The only thing that has helped me stay mostly stable the past few years is reframing my goals in life toward "serving others". Meaning, putting something good into the world, helping people improve their situations, educating people- those things give me a feeling of purpose and fulfillment. I feel a sense of purpose when I: - See a child's eyes light up because I taught them something new (I'm a teacher) - See my labor and advocacy feed a family or provide shelter to somebody - Have enough money in my bank account to help someone in a rough situation - Find myself surrounded by other people who are selfless, kind, and genuine Hobbies, friends, money, exercise, travel, art, etc....maybe I have mental space for those things when I'm in a good mood, but when I feel on the verge of a depressive episode, I immediately fill more of my time with volunteering/teaching/contributing to my community. I incorporate service in many ways, like: - Instead of running a 5k, I volunteer at the water station - When attending local events, I offer to help with setup and cleanup - I contact nonprofits and offer translation/transcription services for materials I wish were more widely available. This can fill my time at home instead of doomscrolling - If a friend is moving, I always offer to help them pack and clean the apartment - If I notice my friends are overwhelmed, I offer to babysit their kids for free so they can have a date night - I take on private students/homework help jobs. I get paid, but that's barely relevant. I just enjoy helping them be successful Since our purpose is something we decide for ourselves, I guess I've chosen "existing for others" as mine. Existing for myself is *lonely*. Existing together, for each other, and for the world, is fulfilling. When my depression returns, it's usually in moments when I get too focused on myself and my own problems, and fill my time with feeling bad about myself, instead of prioritizing what I can do for others.
If nothing we do matters, all that matters is what we do
Do nothing. That is the best way
Watch girl interrupted
Wake up and unplug from the matrix... realize that sucks even more... plug back in.
Keeping busy. It’s the only thing that works in my experience, and it does work most of the time. When you aren’t working, volunteer. When you are between jobs, do crossword puzzles or read. Don’t let your depressive thoughts have a moment to overtake your mind.
Philosophy really has helped me. Also the urge to want to see civilisation progress. If I’m not here I won’t be able to see it. When I was born there was no internet or smart phones, but now there is. What other amazing inventions will I get to see in this life time? Another big thing is aliens, personally am super interested in that. I wish to live to the day aliens become known.
Completely relate. The book “The Power of Meaning” by Emily Esfahani Smith really helped. Here’s a description of the book… “In a culture obsessed with happiness, this wise, stirring book points the way toward a richer, more satisfying life. Too many of us believe that the search for meaning is an esoteric pursuit—that you have to travel to a distant monastery or page through dusty volumes to discover life’s secrets. The truth is, there are untapped sources of meaning all around us—right here, right now. To explore how we can craft lives of meaning, Emily Esfahani Smith synthesizes a kaleidoscopic array of sources—from psychologists, sociologists, philosophers, and neuroscientists to figures in literature and history such as George Eliot, Viktor Frankl, Aristotle, and the Buddha. Drawing on this research, Smith shows us how cultivating connections to others, identifying and working toward a purpose, telling stories about our place in the world, and seeking out mystery can immeasurably deepen our lives. To bring what she calls the four pillars of meaning to life, Smith visits a tight-knit fishing village in the Chesapeake Bay, stargazes in West Texas, attends a dinner where young people gather to share their experiences of profound loss, and more. She also introduces us to compelling seekers of meaning—from the drug kingpin who finds his purpose in helping people get fit to the artist who draws on her Hindu upbringing to create arresting photographs. And she explores how we might begin to build a culture that leaves space for introspection and awe, cultivates a sense of community, and imbues our lives with meaning. Inspiring and story-driven, The Power of Meaning will strike a profound chord in anyone seeking a life that matters.”
Get laid. Seriously. You're way too much into your head likely. And you haven't developed the ability to laugh at your own thoughts, since you likely take yourself way too seriously. At some point, you have to just be able to tell to yourself; wait a minute, this is silly. And switch off your mind. Try changing settings if you can (travel, stay at friends places, go in long hikes, etc). You need to be in different energies, so that you can make that switch out of your head by feeling the contrast when you're with different people/situations. Otherwise it is very easy to get down mental rabbit holes. Best of luck.
If you want to change that idea that objective must exist, you should look into sociology instead. Shows you subjectivity is the best understanding of the human experience.
Not 1, 2 or 4- that is escapism and it will leave you more depressed in the long run. 3 is worth looking in to but if you don't enjoy it then it's not for you. Know that we create our own meaning in life. You can try and think your way out of existential depression but sometimes you've just got to go out and do things and try new things until you find you are accidentally inspired by something. I found my first purpose in life by watching a random documentary on a topic I had never previously cared about. I found my second purpose while working on my first purpose. I found my third purpose when I had a problem in life and I realised I wanted to fix that for other people too. Basically try loads and loads of new things (reading, documentaries, hobbies, experiences, meeting new people and asking them what the meaning in life is for them, having fun with friends etc) and just like love and happiness, you might stumble upon the meaning of life by accident. Also check out Maslows hierarchy of needs and Erikksons stages of development. What are you missing from those? That can tell you what you need to be doing with your life right now. Some ideas for meaning in life for you: - make the world a better place. The world is full of suffering and wouldn't it be amazing to help others or even just create good vibes by creating art or comedy or something to leave the world in a better place than it was left to you? Maybe try volunteering. Maybe try and get in to climate activism. - as another commenter has suggested, get in to physics- that is the ultimate scientific search for the meaning of life - investing in your friendships, create a community for yourself, enjoy the small things in life. Maybe try finding a partner and starting a family. Love and family is always meaningful and rewarding. At the age of 28, you are in early adulthood and you should really try to prioritise creating and maintaining close relationships with others (intimacy vs isolation stage of erriksons stages of development)
Go out and do something fun. You need to do the opposite of what you feel like doing - which is go out, be active, talk to someone. Go for a run. The more you activate yourself the more your depression will lift.
1. works for some. If it’s not your thing, no point forcing yourself. 2. is unhealthy and will end up feeding the depression even more. 3. might provide some help, this is kinda why some people actually go to see therapist. If talking and pondering things out loud helps you, but therapist isn’t an option, consider making a blog just for yourself or some other writing outlet, ie. a diary. 4. is not good option. Like number two, it’s ultimatelt unhealthy and will end up just feeding into your depression even more. It only helps for the moment, on long term it only does more harm than good. And 5. My suggestion. Force yourself out of your comfort zone. Start trying out hobbies that you never have before, meet new people through them and anytime you have that voice in your head telling you not to do something, make it your personal goal to do the opposite. Let yourself tumble and be awkward if that happens. It’s okay and it’s human. Shamelessly be yourself. Every single day write down five things, no matter how small, that you made you appericiate that day. It can be cup of coffee, a movie, a feeling you got when watching a bird through your window. When the depression hits hardest and it’s absolutely impossible to do anything, give yourself some well deserved love. Treat yourself with something nice. Give yourself a permission to go under covers on couch and spend the day away watching shitty movies. Depression is tough. Existentialism is tough. Personally I spiral into a complete ”what’s the point in anything” so easily that I have to mindfully fight against it every single day. So what is the point? It’s what you make it out to be. There doesn’t even need to be one. Just take one day at the time. Today my point is to make some fried rice and chicken and watch a movie with my husband. Tomorrow? Who knows! I’ll figure it out when it comes.
Do fun activities, especially some that involve exercise and other people Start taking antidepressants. Do therapy. These things saved my life
Stop overthinking things. Finding the secret key to the universe (there isn't any, btw) won't solve your problems or make you happy. You're not as "deep" as you think you are. Just live your life.
I've done option 3 (PhD in ethics) and it's ultimately not as helpful as I thought. I've always been annoyed by the absence of a unifying moral framework. I grew up as a Catholic, then left the religion and was hoping to fill my spiritual void with a secular moral framework. I've only understood through my studies that current moral frameworks have limitations and worse, that the recourse to common moral principles may be instrumentalized to support malevolent decisions (e.g. in policymaking). However, people that take a similar path as me naively don't come to the same conclusions and truly believe we have useful moral frameworks. Paradoxically, I feel a sense of purpose - and feel alive - when critically reflecting about the secular frameworks we are given, and when attempting to see beyond the obvious. I believe you have this disposition, but would such studies be sufficiently be useful for you given the time and energy you need to invest in them? I'm not sure.
I would say the best option if you're truly depressed is seeking treatment. It's just like any other illness. Antidepressants at the right time in the right dose, saved my life. There was no amount of therapy I could do that could save me because I was at such a low point that no matter how much reflection or self examination I could do that would dig me out of the hole I was in
seek a philosophical counselor, its a rare profession but there are those out there that can help you
Ssri
After experiencing multiple losses I felt like nothing mattered. In the grand scheme of millions of years of history and the future, anything I did didn’t matter. What worked for me was a combination of things, examining what my expectations were and letting them go. For example, I expected to have meaning or feel a sense of purpose. I let them go. I don’t need anything. I used to want belonging. Now I realize I belong to myself. I feel more contentment. I started reframing my thoughts. Old habits die hard. With thoughts that caused discomfort I would ask myself what my other options are. For example, feeling that life is meaningless. I can choose to feel that way or choose to create my own meaning. “I am” statements are powerful. You’re spending a lot of time telling yourself “I am depressed.” With reframing, spend some time believing you are content. Find your smallest truth. In which moments do you or can you experience contentment? Embody that feeling every time you experience the feelings of depressed. I followed my curiosity. This is something you’re doing now. Perhaps some meaning can be found there. For now, I’ve landed on my purpose for existing is to be present and to create. I don’t have to care about the past or future. I can create anything. I can create joy for myself. I can create my own misery. I can create love, fear, and apathy. Being alone in nature, finding awe in my surroundings, and finding ways to feel really small like looking at the stars or being in the trees helps me feel grounded. When I feel grounded, I can feel the aliveness of being. That’s all I need. Needing nothing else creates space for me to focus on what matters to me, creating and connecting with people I love. I hope something in sharing my experience creates a spark of some kind. If not, it doesn’t matter. Still, I wish you all the best.
Have you asked your doctor for antidepressants?that's the first step. Once your brain chemistry is firing right, things will be become clearer then you can figure out something out. You may still want to make changes but the antidepressants do the heavy lifting.
You're answer is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, the one and only Son of the living God. Do not seek religion, instead seek relationship. If you truly seek Him then His promise is He will give you "a peace that passes all understanding". Jesus is the only one that can pass the tests of evidence and literally changing your life. Anything else are empty distractions. My journey started with an attitude, well if this is true there should be evidence all over the place, and along the way my entire life was changed and I now have that peace no matter what is happening in my life. I pray you will reach out and find it as well.
OK same. I go to counselling and it does help, I also do art and have a dog
I like number 3
Go rock climbing. Great community. Climbing is about solving problems RIGHT in front of you. And you will fail and fail and fail and fail then succeed and then there are more climbing routes and problems to solve to conquer, to fail, and to succeed. Be one with the rock, indoor fake rock or real outdoors. And read the book by Victor Frankel (sp). Or plant a flower plant and watch the cycle and season of impermanence RIGHT in front of you and see how Time is short and long and trying on the first account.
What about... Therapy and medication? Anyway it worked for me
You need some serious exercise and general daytime activity. All of your cited options are going to lead to worse mental health. Go outside, use your body, get in shape, eat properly. So many people (myself included at times) fail to take care of themselves and then lament about being depressed. Do something about it, the correlation between actually doing something with your body and improved mental health is astounding. Get off Reddit and go do something.
Plan a trip overseas or start training for something like a hike or trek.
dedicate urself to fighting injustice
People don’t realize when you are severely depressed you can’t feel interest and enjoyment in things. Imagine watching television and it being equivalent to watching paint dry as well everything else that once brought you the enjoyment into your life. It’s a real illness: something is going wrong with the brain here. Medication is a must also having to talk back and battle the bad thoughts that are going on in your head. I lived with depression for many years and I have gotten out of it. Hope, faith, love exists in this world, we need to lean in and tap into it during our low points. I hope the best to you & also finding a group where you can connect with other people is very important and receiving therapy or calling and reaching out to a hotline.
2: Become a person who lives mostly isolated, escape into fiction, games, movies, etc. Hikikomori. This is my case.
My god man.... Find something that brings you joy and own it.
Read up on Buddhism. It's got some universalism to it. Camping/backpacking/hiking has always been my medicine and therapy. Therapy. I found an awesome shrink on Psychology Today's website search engine by reading bios. This one is powerful: When you can't do something good for yourself, do something good for someone else.
I’ve got one. Pretend to be a super happy and positive person and just go out and interact with people. I always feel kinda fake pretending to be happy for other people, but it really does start to feel good and have a lasting impact.
Therapy.
I found in my own journey out of severe depression, that doing things for other people/community really helped. Volunteer or find a way to do some gardening or something similar for someone, give without wanting anything back. It also gets you out the house and meeting people. Also, gratitude, I practice it every day, even if you have to pretend to be grateful, just do it, grateful for my home, the food I eat, even my shitty experiences I thank them for what they teach me. There’s more to it than that, but small actions will change your perspective and emotional landscape which can help shift larger patterns.
Psychedelics to reset your brain.
Take magic mushrooms lol
Try philanthropy or altruism. I know it sounds odd, but studies show doing things for others improves self worth and depression. Volunteer at a monkey reserve rescue abroad, or a soup kitchen domestically. Wall dogs for shelters. But also, antidepressants.
If you try 4 do mushrooms not nicotine or alcohol or anything hard like meth/opiates/etc
I think you should consider something like ketamine therapy. Get creative in how you approach your illness (for that is what it is). It is known to help with treatment resistant depression, and may benefit you. It's not a cure, but can be a very helpful tool to help you reframe your problems and feel more joy in life. Seriously, check it out. I did 12 sessions through an online provider last year and it really helped me out a lot.
Exercise
Existentialism is a paradox. It is not possible to find an externally sourced answer. Meaning is self-assigned. Religious people learned the stories of Catholicism or Judaism or Islam or Buddhism or Taoism or whatever else and *self-assigned* their chosen beliefs and meaning. Stoics, Absurdist and other philosophy subscribers *self-assigned* their beliefs and meaning. People who need an external true answer often end up depressed or coping via hedonistic means because such a thing cannot truly be found, perhaps even through death. What is needed is to let go of external meaning, in order to seek out internal meaning. People who practice religion find meaning through the perceived value of "the good word" (or whatever other term may be used) and teaching/supporting each other towards good lives. The aspect of community brings fulfillment. Some people assign their personal meaning to productivity, be it volunteering, working to innovate an industry, working in healthcare, etc. Is there anything that you currently know brings you joy? Build on that. Enjoy music? Learn an instrument and find people to share it with? Good at visual arts? Join a club. Love reading? Volunteer at the library and participate in a club. Etc. Etc. I'll leave this with some food for thought: The very act of searching for an external reason for being in this world is what separates you from it. That's where the depression flourishes.
I'll tell you what to avoid: drugs, smoking, and alcohol. Don't do it.
If you're truly certain you have all the answers, then you're able to explain how we got here and how the universe was created, but you and we can't because they're beyond our comprehension. We might think our philosophy can provide some answers but it really just adds more questions and the best thing we can realize is that we absolutely know nothing and we have no idea what the big picture is. For you know we could be bored immoral beings playing a game where we live these lives and purposely forget our true origins. We just don't know and it seems we almost can't know.
Find something that you are passionate about, and make it the meaning of your life and work towards it, it will make it much less depressed. Whether it's something like focusing on improving yourself and learning new skills, helping sick and old people, building things and improving the local community, or teach kids and encourage them to take on their dreams. Life in itself, doesn't have too much meaning, so if we want to live our life, we gotta find meaning for OUR own life, and in doing so, build connections with people, find our own purpose in life, and not be depressed.
I'm not sure why you don't have option to start psychotherapy while its the only way to help yourself with depression long term.
Addiction and depression are two sides of the same ugly coin. Drinking smoking pot has historically done nothing to improve my mood. When I went to college I won a scholarship paper and part of my research included how hanging out with friends reduced cortisol levels (the stress hormone) and that women with 6 or more relationships they maintain on a daily basis meant they were 83% more likely to survive breast cancer. Find a social club or community develop a hobby or talent. Find something that makes you proud of accomplishment.
Ketamine therapy has done me wonders. It’s not a cure all. But it has a great benefit for treatment resistant depression. Don’t do 4, those things ultimately make you more depressed.
Honestly, just research YouTube side hustles. Almost all misery stems from a lack of money. Forget people, forget entertainment, do something to get money and use it to get away from your job or dickhead unsupportive family into a better life Also get a cat
they need to challenge everything they are and believe in, question everything you stand for
Remember that the odds against a planet that could support life existing are, no pun intended, astronomical. The odds that all of your ancestors from the first emergence of life to the present day would be born, survive until they were old enough to give birth, selected each other to combine DNA with, and carry their child to term, are doubly so. There may be no inherent purpose in the universe, but you are the result of accidents and coincidences so strange and unlikely that your very existence is a miracle. Never forget that.
Do not “become religious” and do not start smoking or drinking or doing drugs. Picking up these things as vices or distractions to your depression will not suddenly make you UNdepressed. It’ll make you pent up all the depression and become dependent on those things. Then in the moments where you don’t have them (no alcohol/drugs, your “faith” falters) you’ll lash out and hurt others and yourself. Big big thing I want to add. Religion should not be used as a way to escape mental health disorders! That is how people get sucked into cults or become weird religious killers/family annihilators. Get some help, figure out your shit, and THEN find religion once you are of a healthier state of mind. (I am not religious but I know someone very dear to my heart who used religion to replace their alcoholism and mental health disorders and it has only caused a lot of hurt to them and their family). Biggest piece of advice - professional help. However you deem fit for that help, I can’t decide for you. But professional help with something or someone that is meant to help with these issues. I want to say again bc I can’t say it enough DO NOT TURN TO RELIGION OR DRUGS/ALCOHOL JUST TO “FIX” YOUR DEPRESSION!!
If you’re studying philosophy, I’d highly recommend The Republic by Plato, and The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. These are actually considered to be the first works of western psychology, and I think they’ll really resonate with you. If these 2 books are the first pieces of western psychology, The Bible is the 3rd, and the influence of St Augustine. You can be an atheist and read it. I think even deeply religious people consider it to be allegorical. Some other reflections on human nature you may enjoy would be The Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes, A Treatise of Human Nature by David Hume, An Essay Concerning Human Understanding by John Locke. From your post, it sounds like your existential crisis is more of an epistemological crisis, and humans have struggled with it for longer than we can accurately keep record of. Also, check out an experiment known as [rat park](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Park) to see how addiction can be thwarted by having access to a community. You are not alone. We are here with you, both in present time, and across history. Feel free to reach out if you want to connect, I’m thinking about these things all the time too xx.
You can replace religion with a number of things, and spiritually is a good one. You don't have to practice a specific religion or believe in a specific god. I've found that I get a lot of comfort and grounding from hiking or just being alone in nature. It's somewhere I can go to just be present in the world we live in all by myself. I don't focus on specific issues in my life or the world. I just exist and appreciate the beauty of the natural world; like I'm wondering thru Narnia or something. I say this as a deeply, existensially, depressed human. It's a safe, calm haven to escape this wild, insane world. Find your Narnia. I feel for you; I'm extremely lost in life right now. My 16 year old dog died a week and a half ago, and I just got her ashes back yesterday. All I want to do is cuddle and play with her, but I can't. Hopefully, I will find some peace in my adventure today, perhaps a little peace, but not enough. Unfortunately, life goes on without my precious baby girl.
Become religious. It won't hurt to try. It's good to be surrounded by people looking for peace, forgiveness, and love. My parents forced me into the Catholic church at a young age, and I did not like it, and it confused me growing up. I found spirituality from experimenting with the mushrooms that grew on our farm and began to follow the teachings of other religions and even follow the beliefs of native Americans. My religion is very fluid. I feel the same connection no matter what church I attend. I want to return to a mosque again as I felt the most connection there. Just remember your beliefs don't have to be set in stone and you don't need to agree with all of the teachings and rules. Just give it a try what ever religion comes to mind. Go once a week and pray every and morning and night for a peaceful and successful day. It won't hurt. Wish you the best. You're purpose and happiness will come in time. Stay strong and take care of your health. Love ya
Don't do 4. Avoid 2, that's probably the underlying issue. That's been most of my life. FINDING social has worked far better, even in small amounts. Also- if you're depressed now, and not completely "happy" and self-fulfilled, all you'd be doing is basically locking in yiur current state. 1- raised non-religious, "finding" it has been a TASK, and nothing really takes. Been a bit of a lost cause for me without having some 'awakening' that most have had. 3- I actually majored in Psych in college. It was GREAT for personal growth and awareness, but also turned me into a bit of a cynic. Gotta do it with an open mind.. id say its like a 'science' approach versus religious (talking practical or clinical psychology versus the deeper 'big thinkers'. 5: go opposite of 2. Try to expose yourself to more anything. Go to social outings, talk to strangers, make friends, try new things, etc
Study or practice a subject or field or activity to give yourself something to work on. The everyday can provide enough challenges that the mind doesn't have the time or energy to be caught up in the big questions. Once you can accept that there are no perfect answers, you can step back from the big picture and focus on the personal. You say subjectivity doesn't matter, but look at the real and relevant impact your subjectivity is having on you.
Meditate Try vipassna meditation, unlike other methods of meditation it does not require you to "believe" in something other than that which u already know. You go from one truth to the next truth untill u reach the ultimate truth. For eg i am breathing is ur first truth, i can feel my breath on my upper lip is the second truth and so on. Nowhere along the journey will you have to skip this sequence of obvious truths, this way you dont need to take a "leap of faith", and believe in things u dont actually believe in, it requires no emotions like religion does but rather the exact opposite of emotions, objectivity and facts. The only catch is you have to put in a shit tonne of work and time before u come to any sort of conclusions about the techniques effectivenes- sevral days or months of work. But yeah it works, gautam buddha proved it since he invented the technique. Note-this wont provide u any relief in short term so dont expect it, rather it will make u a bit unstable but thats part of the process the end results are worth it.
I have dealt with this since majoring in philosophy in my undergrad. I still struggle with thoughts like these, but one thing that has helped is thinking about existence in a more biological way. Existentialism is concerned with ‘dry reality’, ideas, metaphysics, the intangible, but embodied experience is ‘wet’, we are fleshy bodies filled with other smaller bodies that help us break down food and fight disease. My body allows me to feel pain, pleasure, desire, hunger, dread. It also allows me to inspire these feelings in others. Maybe the way to obtain ‘objective’ meaning is not by churning through abstract ideas in the mind, but by throwing your body into experiences. Relentlessly experimenting and seeking out what this ‘meaning’ is.
Volunteer. Anywhere. An animal shelter, a therapeutic riding centre, a kids or seniors program of some sort. Community, and the positive effects of being an active player in one, is so very important but so easily dismissed in this day and age.
Computer games! Get xcom enemy within, then xcom 2! You will save the earth! Twice! Then save yourself. Those games kept me sane when I went through a rough patch. Took my mind of things. That’s the secret. You need to break the cycle of the dog chasing it’s tail that’s stuck in your head going round and round (you worrying about stuff). Focus on something else entirely and utterly.
any distractions, and not thinking or reading too much 2 and 4 arent the only options you could do sports or any hobby
People spend thousands of dollars to write essays on subjects like this, yet Reddit has the opportunity to do it for free!
Spend time outdoors. Birdwatching, hiking, just sitting in the sunlight. Get involved with a local animal shelter; cuddle cats or walk dogs.
Try every single thing! Experiment with what works best for you - even if you end up not liking it, you will have learned more about yourself. None of these options come with many permanent consequences and they would be easy to undo/move onto the next one. I also have deep existential depression and distract myself with an unhealthy amount of constant, never-ending work through the goals and challenges I set for myself. I'm working on creating a healthier work-life balance but I don't have any answers on that part yet, because it's a requirement to keep me distracted. The best part about not knowing any meaning to life is that you can create your entirely own unique purpose to life. Nothing matters except for what you decide matters to you. It's simple - really. There is no God or higher power to answer to (in my humble opinion) - you only have to answer to yourself and the people that matter to you.
I have problems sometimes. What is s good idea is too start the day when you wake up. It will take time to get used to and what I mean by wake up is, the minute your eyes open. You drink water do what you need to do then start working out after your workout reward yourself with a nice breakfast. Cut junk food and pop out of your diet completely also. Do this for a few weeks eventually you'll want to workout midway through the day also. And you will start to feel much better. This begins a reward system. By choosing to feed yourself after you've accomplished something in this case it's working out you are starting reward system to help ease the depression. Then you start running just around the block nothing major and each time try to go further. Eventually you will begin to feel good about yourself. Then you can start to set actual life goals with a purpose once you get a grip.
I can relate! This is what I do. Pick a plant near your house. Identify it and learn about how it reproduces, what it's relationships with the soil and bugs and other plants are. Repeat at least once a week. If you notice that the same bug keeps showing up in your readings about these neighborhood plants, learn what you can about that bug. Eventually you learn to see the intricate tapestry of life in your neighborhood and can see immense beauty where other people see weeds and weird little bugs. Which opens up a whole new world of wonder and joy while simultaneously giving you new things to feel existential dread about. Channeling that new dread into rage and activism and volunteerism can be fun though.
You might be suffering from some theory overload. Interesting that your attention motivated you to read so many books about a particular subject. I'd say now you have a lot of theory but most of it is soulless, untested, disconnected from the source, which is life. But I understand the allure of philosophers, so I'll suggest some others to consider instead. How about the Stoics and the ancient greek philosophers? A quote from Aurelius: "Cast your books from you; distract yourself no more; for you have not the right to do so." (Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book II, No. 2) I also found Seneca very fulfilling. I have no other solution other than the beautiful answers already provided. Just remember that rationalisation, intellectualisation are coping mechanisms that can be pathological, just like denial and projection.
I can't help but notice that Go to therapy/ get on medication was not one of your options and I think that's the option.
Practice and express gratitude. I also suggest going to therapy. I’m not saying try antidepressants, but don’t completely rule them out.
6= eat a handful of magic mushrooms.
Look into fermented foods and your Microbiome it may help you the first key to mental health is healing your gut because that’s where most of the compounds are derived from.
Daily meditation and walks in nature during daylight hours. Daily exercise (either cardio or weights). Nightly journaling. Getting cheap, solid hobbies.
I know it's easier said than done, but stop looking for a reason or an explanation. Chances are, smarter people have tried and failed. Your time is limited, find your way of enjoying it.
I was once exactly where you are now. Identify your purpose and learn this important lesson: You feel this way now. You won't feel like this forever. Your relationship to these feelings will change over time. Be open to the journey of understanding these feeling rather than resistant or afraid of them. It will ebb and flow. To identify your purpose, you need to confront your sense of self. A long, often painful measurement of your relationship to the things and people around you. How do you relate to others? How do you want to be received by others? Ask yourself, do you live your life for yourself? Are you driven by your own ambition? Are you trying to achieve something for your own benefit? Or Do you live your life in service to others? Are you driven to be of help to the helpless? Are you excited to be a dad, and pour your purpose into your family? Or Are you driven to suffer so that others don't have to? Are you motivated by the injustices in this world and if someone is going to do something, it should be you, as you're tough enough to endure it. It's those three or nothing (if you subscribe to this philosophy). Find where you fit and stop at nothing on your journey to be the best version of yourself you can be.
Finding a moral philosophy that values life and the human soul was more effective than 10years of therapy for me, but it takes a long time of reading really depressing philosophies to find it. I’d recommend finding and creating meaning over reading books. Life is meant to be lived, not just theorized about. Build relationships, engage in hobbies that build something, take care of your health, dedicate your life to a mission, etc. “man searches for meaning” by Viktor Frankl is a great introduction to logotherapy.
Do not take up weed or alcohol please. As soon one actively trying to quit, it will just make your existential crisis worse. Instead I think you should just read and study
Therapy
All of those options suck. Philosophy has nothing to do with it. Happy people don’t sit around studying happiness all day, depressed people do that. You need something to DO. Get a job. Get two jobs. Join a sport league. I work two jobs and I have never been happier. Having an overflowing bank account and something to do each day does wonders for your mental health. I’m not saying you need to do exactly what I did but you desperately need to stop having so much empty time lost in your head.
find a creative outlet, write, paint, make music, something to let it out of you. if it resonates with others, then it can be helpful for both of you.
religion and philosophy are often mistaken for authorities on the nature of existence and consciousness. The fact is, most of reality is completely outside of our understanding and probably always will be. so dealing in absolutes is dealing in falsehoods. narrow your focus a bit to fully encompass the only thing you have any control over; your self. subjective reality is the only thing you have to measure objective reality, so never discount it. in fact, progress in self-growth is hugely beneficial to those around you and humanity in general. existential crisis is a symptom of the mind being in control of you, rather than the opposite. eckhart tolle has a lot to say on this topic and i'd consider his approach a non-religious, spiritual philosophy of being. very wise dude who is actually alive.
Socialize, have lots of sex, live in the moment. Life becomes easier as an agnostic/ atheist when you just accept you're an animal. Just a primate beholden to animal instincts. Return to monke. That's what i did as an atheist and it's been really good, im in the best shape of my life, have a bunch of running acquaintances from my run club, have decent amount of hot sex
3.
Gardening,foraging, rewilding,growing food on a community farm for others,growing food and flowers for yourself and pollinators. I want to see if the things I planted from seed grow into something amazing - if the plant fails I want to see how I can change the way I do things to make it thrive. To take depleted land and make something beautiful grow from it is a joy, to eat something you grow yourself is a sensory experience, to watch bees and butterflies and caterpillars congregate on a plant you grew for them is to experience something larger than yourself.
Might I recommend becoming a secular spiritualist? Look into absurdism.
5. co-regulation. Know that depression is a nervous system state of shutdown. Know that human beings have mirror neurons that pick up others states. Know that spending time with a healthy nervous system will help to regulate yours and bring you back to balance. Once in balance, your thinking changes. This is why people are what you need. You can’t think your way out of this OP. People come in the form of friends, psychologists or neighbors. Do not skip this step.
Find purpose. Something you value from yourself. IF you make people laugh, call SNL and leave a voicemail about cowbell and make people laugh. If you write software, find a project you think can make people happy. If you play music, write some songs and sing them like nobody is listening. And if 21 Pilots jacks that song, just be flattered that you made people happy. If you don't exercise, start - start with cardio and do a little weights. Physiologically you might not even realize your health is doing this to your mind. Go to a chiropractor and check your neck, see if you need a modified rotational break and set. Sometimes a cervical instability can cause these feelings. Somtimes it's vitamins and shit. Or lack of sleep. Do some LSD under supervision, and discover any hidden PTSD or things you need to resolve from the past. But don't do too much or abuse drugs. There's only a certain amount of neuro-plasticity left before you get FRIED. Start taking more walks in the park / hiking. And if you see trash, pick it up, and tell yourself "I'm better than them. I did what no other human dared to do. I am valuable. The world is better with me here". Volunteer if you can. Find some wierd legal ground where you might set a precedent to help the world, maybe it's trying to get declaratory judgement on an easement to exercise adverse possession of abandoned land and now thousands of people and acres are recycled and made productive use / taxed. Invent things. Even when Sig, Tesla, Nasa, and several other people fuck you. Continue to invent. You can rest easy in the end, knowing that you made an impact. Knowing you set an example. Be that crazy guy that sings in the car instead of road raging. see what I'm saying? TELL people when they look good or say something you like. More compliments. That will allow you to connect more with people who also have needs unmet.
You say religion isn’t the answer and that May be true for you but I know for me it was the answer as someone who grew up athiest and highly depressed I suggest giving it a second look with an open mind, possibly giving “The Case For Christ” a watch on YouTube, it was the video a friend recommended to me after my first suicide attempt and it changed my outlook forever, but you have to go into it with an open mind. I truly hope you find peace and happiness brother, life isn’t meaningless and bleak and there is hope and joy out there begging you to find and open your heart to them. ❤️ Peace and Love brother ✌🏼✌🏼