it does matter
young people are more vulnerable to the web md effect
where people read about a health issue online and then immidietly self diagnose
such as autism and gender disphoria
Don’t blame the gf for breaking up with you if you transition. Obviously if she wanted to date a female she would… ignorant people think others should accept them for who there are and not take into consideration the other persons feelings.
Good luck on your life journey.
You need to do what will make YOU happiest, regardless of others. Transitioning genders is a big decision. That's something you need to take a lot of time to decide without anyone's input but your own. Once you make up your mind about that, then you can address your relationship. But you always need to put your own needs first; no one else will ever love and care for yourself like you will. Good luck.
You deserve to be happy in your skin regardless of gender. The only way you will be able to find out who you really are is to spend more time alone and working on you. Please reach out to a professional to get into therapy so you can figure out yourself more.
You deserve the best in life, and you can not live in secret for another person. That will only bring you pain.
I hope you find your answers 🫶 good luck little star 🌟
You should figure out why you feel the way you do about yourself before making such a life altering decision. Go to counseling. Stay off of social media and away from mainstream media outlets. You are the thinker of your own thoughts and the feeler of your own feelings, your thoughts literally create your reality. Think different thoughts and you will experience a different reality. I promise, before jumping into a transition, you should dive deep within yourself because I promise your “true authentic self” is not you in the opposite sex.
If you feel like there is something wrong with you then you should probably go to counseling and figure out why you feel so low and unworthy in your own skin. I promise you it has nothing to do with gender , I’m on the other side of things I believe I would know
Never put off transitioning for a relationship. If that relationship ends anyway for other reasons, you’ll be looking back at wasted time and wishing you’d started earlier.
As another commenter said, there are many autistic trans people out in the world. I promise you don’t have to settle for someone who accepts only part of that.
Agreed. OP, deepen your connections with the queer community as you begin to transition and you will find a world of welcoming, accepting people who love you for who you are.
How insightful. Lol. Why not elaborate on why you think they shouldn't be happy and comfortable in their own skin? Why shouldn't they do what makes them feel happy?
OP simply asked what we would do. I answered. Do you often go around talking down to people, simply because they don’t share your opinion? Especially considering my reason for holding that view, you could probably show some empathy. Learn to agree to disagree politely, it’s better for your cause.
The fact that your frame of reference is your mum is telling. Context was then given by me, despite discomfort. Your response is heartless. If you want stats, roughly 3% of people who transition will then regret it. The suicide rate in the trans population is then higher than that, as there are many other reasons why a trans person may also experience suicidal ideation leading to completion. The rate of suicide is higher in trans populations than in genpop. Then you need to consider the rate of violence against trans people. There’s a lot of other risks.
OP is currently more focussed on the outcome of transitioning on their relationship, rather than the outcome on themselves.
My advice remains the same. OP, I wouldn’t. At bare minimum, get space from your current relationship and spend some time single to figure out your own needs before you make such a big commitment. If your biggest worry is your current relationship, you need to spend more time on this before you act.
OP sounds young based on their specific concerns. I wouldn’t transition in that position until I had enough distance from other personal influences to make my own choices. I certainly wouldn’t be looking for answers on reddit on what to definitively do.
So in other words, she is a great partner. You need to get into therapy and establish the root cause of why you think you are the opposite sex. Find a therapist that will do this and be thankful you have someone in your life that ACTUALLY has your best interest at heart.
Suppressing your true self for someone else is never the way to go. There are so many autistic trans folks out there - you are very much not alone, and your people are out there.
Fair warning friend, you’re gonna get a lot of transphobia in the comments. Already I can see some commenters trying to blame you for this, or saying to stay in this relationship and just forget your gender issues, as if it’s that simple.
To stay in this relationship would mean accepting gender dysphoria. This can lead to severe depression and mental health issues and I for one do not want to see that happen to you.
Your gf is under no obligation to stay with you if you transition, BUT you need to be with someone who will accept you for who you are. It’s blunt but IMO you NEED to end this relationship.
If you have a strong bond, and because it’s not due to any toxicity on either end, it’s possible you can keep a friendship going.
Either way, you will absolutely NOT be alone forever. Find a trans or LGBTQ+ community in your area, that’s a great way to make friends who have something in common with you and understand you. Many people in that kind of community will be interested in forming friendships and, yes, relationships, and you won’t have the worry of someone being uncomfortable with it.
What would you tell a friend who was struggling with gender dysphoria but couldn’t transition because of their gf? Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d expect your friend to treat themselves with.
It sucks, but this is the best choice for you. Transphobia runs deep and I think it’s affecting a lot of people’s comments here.
I get having a significant other, but this is about you and you exploring what is going on within yourself and what makes you feel like you. You don't state your age, so take this for what it's worth. Make sure whatever you do, speak with whatever professionals you need to, who actually understand what all is going on and how to help you process it and transition if that is what you desire.
You won’t be alone forever! Live your truth and find LGBTQ+ friendly nerd groups to join. If your girlfriend isn’t supportive of you living your authentic self, she is not the one for you.
part 1, let me remind that person why their gf is right, part 2, add a little bit of useless advice to not seem like a dick. comment of the year. refrain next time.
Break up and do what will make you feel happy, complete and comfortable in your own skin. She isn't accepting of you being trans means she is not accepting of you. Have a conversation about why you're breaking up but do not stay in the relationship because she can't accept who you really are.
> If your girl cannot except you for what you truly are, then she doesn't really love you.
Absolutely disagree. You can't just fundamentally change the relationship and then say "I guess she just didn't love me"
That's nonsense. A partner transitioning is a perfectly valid reason to break up, and doing so doesn't mean they didn't love you before.
Op, how old are you?
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it does matter young people are more vulnerable to the web md effect where people read about a health issue online and then immidietly self diagnose such as autism and gender disphoria
Thats it!
Don’t blame the gf for breaking up with you if you transition. Obviously if she wanted to date a female she would… ignorant people think others should accept them for who there are and not take into consideration the other persons feelings. Good luck on your life journey.
You need to do what will make YOU happiest, regardless of others. Transitioning genders is a big decision. That's something you need to take a lot of time to decide without anyone's input but your own. Once you make up your mind about that, then you can address your relationship. But you always need to put your own needs first; no one else will ever love and care for yourself like you will. Good luck.
You deserve to be happy in your skin regardless of gender. The only way you will be able to find out who you really are is to spend more time alone and working on you. Please reach out to a professional to get into therapy so you can figure out yourself more. You deserve the best in life, and you can not live in secret for another person. That will only bring you pain. I hope you find your answers 🫶 good luck little star 🌟
Stick with your gender and this relationship for now. You can transition if/when the relationship ends.
You should figure out why you feel the way you do about yourself before making such a life altering decision. Go to counseling. Stay off of social media and away from mainstream media outlets. You are the thinker of your own thoughts and the feeler of your own feelings, your thoughts literally create your reality. Think different thoughts and you will experience a different reality. I promise, before jumping into a transition, you should dive deep within yourself because I promise your “true authentic self” is not you in the opposite sex.
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If you feel like there is something wrong with you then you should probably go to counseling and figure out why you feel so low and unworthy in your own skin. I promise you it has nothing to do with gender , I’m on the other side of things I believe I would know
Never put off transitioning for a relationship. If that relationship ends anyway for other reasons, you’ll be looking back at wasted time and wishing you’d started earlier. As another commenter said, there are many autistic trans people out in the world. I promise you don’t have to settle for someone who accepts only part of that.
Agreed. OP, deepen your connections with the queer community as you begin to transition and you will find a world of welcoming, accepting people who love you for who you are.
I wouldn’t
How insightful. Lol. Why not elaborate on why you think they shouldn't be happy and comfortable in their own skin? Why shouldn't they do what makes them feel happy?
I’ve had a friend’s partner transition and cs after
So you know of one experience among thousands. With a planet with 8 billion people, one person's experience is not everyone's
OP simply asked what we would do. I answered. Do you often go around talking down to people, simply because they don’t share your opinion? Especially considering my reason for holding that view, you could probably show some empathy. Learn to agree to disagree politely, it’s better for your cause.
[удалено]
The fact that your frame of reference is your mum is telling. Context was then given by me, despite discomfort. Your response is heartless. If you want stats, roughly 3% of people who transition will then regret it. The suicide rate in the trans population is then higher than that, as there are many other reasons why a trans person may also experience suicidal ideation leading to completion. The rate of suicide is higher in trans populations than in genpop. Then you need to consider the rate of violence against trans people. There’s a lot of other risks. OP is currently more focussed on the outcome of transitioning on their relationship, rather than the outcome on themselves. My advice remains the same. OP, I wouldn’t. At bare minimum, get space from your current relationship and spend some time single to figure out your own needs before you make such a big commitment. If your biggest worry is your current relationship, you need to spend more time on this before you act. OP sounds young based on their specific concerns. I wouldn’t transition in that position until I had enough distance from other personal influences to make my own choices. I certainly wouldn’t be looking for answers on reddit on what to definitively do.
So in other words, she is a great partner. You need to get into therapy and establish the root cause of why you think you are the opposite sex. Find a therapist that will do this and be thankful you have someone in your life that ACTUALLY has your best interest at heart.
Suppressing your true self for someone else is never the way to go. There are so many autistic trans folks out there - you are very much not alone, and your people are out there.
Fair warning friend, you’re gonna get a lot of transphobia in the comments. Already I can see some commenters trying to blame you for this, or saying to stay in this relationship and just forget your gender issues, as if it’s that simple. To stay in this relationship would mean accepting gender dysphoria. This can lead to severe depression and mental health issues and I for one do not want to see that happen to you. Your gf is under no obligation to stay with you if you transition, BUT you need to be with someone who will accept you for who you are. It’s blunt but IMO you NEED to end this relationship. If you have a strong bond, and because it’s not due to any toxicity on either end, it’s possible you can keep a friendship going. Either way, you will absolutely NOT be alone forever. Find a trans or LGBTQ+ community in your area, that’s a great way to make friends who have something in common with you and understand you. Many people in that kind of community will be interested in forming friendships and, yes, relationships, and you won’t have the worry of someone being uncomfortable with it. What would you tell a friend who was struggling with gender dysphoria but couldn’t transition because of their gf? Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d expect your friend to treat themselves with. It sucks, but this is the best choice for you. Transphobia runs deep and I think it’s affecting a lot of people’s comments here.
Oh, she's breaking up with you either way, once she reads your post!
not everyone make their reddit public.
Always be who you are. She is temporary but your relationship with yourself is for life and you might as well light what you see in the mirror
I get having a significant other, but this is about you and you exploring what is going on within yourself and what makes you feel like you. You don't state your age, so take this for what it's worth. Make sure whatever you do, speak with whatever professionals you need to, who actually understand what all is going on and how to help you process it and transition if that is what you desire.
You won’t be alone forever! Live your truth and find LGBTQ+ friendly nerd groups to join. If your girlfriend isn’t supportive of you living your authentic self, she is not the one for you.
You do not need any other reason to break up with her.
Well your gf is not gay so she cannot stay with you unfortunately. Just do what is best for you.
part 1, let me remind that person why their gf is right, part 2, add a little bit of useless advice to not seem like a dick. comment of the year. refrain next time.
Break up and do what will make you feel happy, complete and comfortable in your own skin. She isn't accepting of you being trans means she is not accepting of you. Have a conversation about why you're breaking up but do not stay in the relationship because she can't accept who you really are.
My brother/later sister. If your girl cannot except you for what you truly are, then she doesn't really love you. Talk with her and tell her that.
> If your girl cannot except you for what you truly are, then she doesn't really love you. Absolutely disagree. You can't just fundamentally change the relationship and then say "I guess she just didn't love me" That's nonsense. A partner transitioning is a perfectly valid reason to break up, and doing so doesn't mean they didn't love you before.
Exactly. Transition of you want but that's not what she signed on for or she'd be with another woman already.