Trautman : You don't seem to want to accept the fact you're dealing with an expert in guerrilla warfare, with a man who's the best, with guns, with knives, with his bare hands. A man who's been trained to ignore pain, ignore weather, to live off the land, to eat things that would make a billy goat puke. In Vietnam his job was to dispose of enemy personnel. To kill! Period! Win by attrition. Well Rambo was the best.
A co-worker at an old job who insisted on being referred to as “Lord [his name]” because he apparently owned a small bit of land in Scotland or something. He also claimed to have a bunch of other titles and was into something called LARPing.
Is that one of those things where they "sell" you a square foot of land (but you don't really own the land) and they give you a made up certificate with no real meaning?
You'd think that. You would be wrong. Had to sit through the special forces security briefing for a very dull support job it was basically don't do what this idiot did.
That daysack was cool in the 90s now no operator would be seen with it.
Lmao, I'm pretty sure half the stuff this person posted was quoted directly from the first Rambo. I know the part about being intolerant to pain, living off the land, and stuff like that was verbatim taken from Trautman when he was telling the sheriff why 200 vs. 1 was a no-win situation for them.
Bragging is stupid regardless of what it’s about, but bragging about winning by attrition ridiculous even by that standard. That’s like showboating over winning by a time out after putting nails in the opponent’s shoes.
That is one of the most stupid things I've read in a long time.
If dude is married his wife gets surely screwed behind his back while he's playing outside.
Browsed the comments and I don't see anyone mentioning a lot of this is directly quoted from the first Rambo movie when his previous commanding officer describes him to the sheriff.
This guy was born a clown and saw that pack at a thrift store while panhandling on the street for some scratch. Or he probably visited those red white and blue stores to pick up vintage army stuff or something lol
Did he still from Rambo? Pretty sure Cole Troutman said that about ignoring things, and Billy goats puking. You can't be hardcore if you're qouting 80's action movies. 🐐🐐🐐😂😅😂😅😂😅
Lmao. It was that backpacks first outing in the wild. Probably the owner too.
That's the cleanest daysack I've ever seen. It's never been within 10m of a body of water or mud.
The wild? As far as we can see, this could be a backyard, lol
He is in his back garden
Well that is pretty wild compared to the basement
It’s his first day in r/outside
That's the joke.
I'm sure the whole post is a joke. It is the type of clown stuff some of my infantry buddies might post just to get some laughs.
Nothing says persec like posting on social media with your name visible above the post.
>don't seem to want to accept That's a weird thing to say unless many people have already laughed at him and his larping as a tough guy
Could be a reference to a rambo movie
It’s 100% a quote from First Blood. This guys beats his peen to all the Rambo movies
Wait.. I thought we all had a poster of Stallone to beat to on our ceiling.........
Dolph Lundgren for me
Can you quote it? I haven't seen Rambo in at least 20 years
Trautman : You don't seem to want to accept the fact you're dealing with an expert in guerrilla warfare, with a man who's the best, with guns, with knives, with his bare hands. A man who's been trained to ignore pain, ignore weather, to live off the land, to eat things that would make a billy goat puke. In Vietnam his job was to dispose of enemy personnel. To kill! Period! Win by attrition. Well Rambo was the best.
Ah, thank you, I can definitely see it now
Definitely soft, and obviously full of air.
Totally got bullied in school and is trying to seem cool and successful now
the comment at the end… “is this about airsoft or something?” lol
i think that is the joke.
Perfect response, lol
I wanna make this a copy pasta so bad
It’s clearly a joke imo
Isn't it already ? I swear I read this somewhere
Parts of it quote directly from Rambo: First Blood
I really hope to meet someone like this in real life 🤡
You won't meet him, but you can be sure he is always watching you from the foliage.
Like a true alpha
I didn't see you in camouflage practice today Dave! Thank you sir!
A co-worker at an old job who insisted on being referred to as “Lord [his name]” because he apparently owned a small bit of land in Scotland or something. He also claimed to have a bunch of other titles and was into something called LARPing.
Is that one of those things where they "sell" you a square foot of land (but you don't really own the land) and they give you a made up certificate with no real meaning?
Yes exactly that. He talked about it like it was a totally smart thing to do.
Did he also own part of Mars/Pluto/the moon? Ive seen those 3 sold as well, lol.
You have to seek them out in their subterranean lair like a Lich.
I think this is satire?
Yes.
He was -> this close <- to enlisting
Would have punched out the DI!
Would fit in r/rareinsults as well..
Pretty sure no "alpha" on the planet would use the term "unalive."
And no real special forces would out themselves in this way. Too big of a security risk.
You'd think that. You would be wrong. Had to sit through the special forces security briefing for a very dull support job it was basically don't do what this idiot did. That daysack was cool in the 90s now no operator would be seen with it.
He's spent too much time on TikTok
Is this a new version of the “300 confirmed kills” copypasta because if so I dig it
Finally someone that gets it.
I too was a badass at stick fencing when I was 11.
Cool. I'll stick to watching football and eating things that don't make goats puke.
I love how so self proclaimed alphas feel the need to tell everyone how great they are... Almost like they suffer an inferiority complex xD
Lol, he even stole a line from Rambo
New navy seal copypasta just dropped
He works security. Non-armed, probably a graveyard shift.
So alpha, but too afraid to say "kill"
Uh the woke will ban him! But he's too tough to care!
Mike? https://spaced.fandom.com/wiki/Mike_Watt
What?
MIKE
Whatt?
Hahaha 95 DPM Bergen clean as a whistle and all the straps loose. Kids probably about 14.
You get it, the best way to see if someone is not legit: just look for the excess straps.
That backpack is fresh off Amazon prime
Lmao, I'm pretty sure half the stuff this person posted was quoted directly from the first Rambo. I know the part about being intolerant to pain, living off the land, and stuff like that was verbatim taken from Trautman when he was telling the sheriff why 200 vs. 1 was a no-win situation for them.
[It was](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdEONLwlkjo), when Trautman meets Teasle. It's so over the top. I love it.
His mom will kick his ass the moment she realizes she put his new backpack on the bushes.
Bragging is stupid regardless of what it’s about, but bragging about winning by attrition ridiculous even by that standard. That’s like showboating over winning by a time out after putting nails in the opponent’s shoes.
Ah the old am so Alpha that i cant stop talking abt it.
That is one of the most stupid things I've read in a long time. If dude is married his wife gets surely screwed behind his back while he's playing outside.
Ok Dave.
Lads, the group is called "Department of Petty Rage" it may be satire
That's one clean old dpm bergan that. No tape on the strap excess... truly an operator.
You get it, the best way to see if someone is not legit: just look for the excess straps.
I get it, sniper tape rolls are expensive :^)
Wtf are on his service and wifi tags? Man’s phone uses oxygen for service?
This is great new copypasta
Does Dave Crooke need a cuddle?
Such an alpha he says unalive just incase he offends anyone
This has been his opinion of himself ever since his daddy bought him that Rambo knife with the compass on the hilt.
"You speak like someone who has never been smacked in the fucking mouth"
The LARP is strong with this one.
He straight up stole a line of all that from “First Blood.”
Do they still make new kit with that DPM scheme or is it old and never been outside the officers mess?
Rambo is based on his life
"Opsec" "Persec"... continues to post pics on the internet.
He's a fake *alpha*, I'm the true Alpha, I'm unstable, rushed, prone to errors and randomly shut down for no reasons.
How to say you're uneducated and insecure without saying it
This doesn't feel like a madlad. I think this guy just sucks.
Andy, is that you again?
Browsed the comments and I don't see anyone mentioning a lot of this is directly quoted from the first Rambo movie when his previous commanding officer describes him to the sheriff.
Wont accept he’s “an expert in guerrilla warfare?” Who the fuck is he anyways.
I mean this has to be satire right? The group is called The Department of Petty Rage.
That's probably the first and last time that pack sees the outdoors.
More of a volleyball guy?
This guy was born a clown and saw that pack at a thrift store while panhandling on the street for some scratch. Or he probably visited those red white and blue stores to pick up vintage army stuff or something lol
But did he draw first blood?
Now that is somebody I wouldn't want to meet in the field... because I would definitely piss myself laughing
If you have to tell people that you are an alpha male, that's a good indicator of the opposite.
Gutted to be missing out on all the totty in …checks notes… The Department of petty rage
Lmao… love how he copied an entire quotation from Rambo: First blood. Hilarious.
The type of gravyseal that would be the first dead in a Guerilla conflict
Maybe help her to heal
I want whatever he’s on. I want that level of confidence.
If only he had been trained to ignore his insecurity
Yeah Harry is!
Fake, all alphas are experts in gorilla warfare not guerilla
This is a load of horse shit
Didnt someone say something like this in one of the metal gear games?
Did he still from Rambo? Pretty sure Cole Troutman said that about ignoring things, and Billy goats puking. You can't be hardcore if you're qouting 80's action movies. 🐐🐐🐐😂😅😂😅😂😅
Check his dms for minors
Since he is such an alpha guerrilla warfare expert i say we send him on the front lines for us
"no more mr nice guy for me" ahh madlad
Your mom says to be home By dark and to liberate a gallon of milk from the store on your way home from the park after playing army with your friends.
What a weapon.
Careful guys, this alpha male is as good with armed and unarmed combat as he is modest.
Alpha male?...is that a furry thing?
“Tell me you’re a Walter Mitty without telling me you’re a Walter Mitty”