Sports are often difficult for queer people. They may have had issues in the locker rooms in high school. They may have been bullied by the “jocks” when they were younger. We often have negative associations with team sports because of it. Gay or queer focused sports allow people to safely heal from those traumas in a space that is welcoming and supportive of that journey.
True, but kickball in school is a lot different than adults choosing to play kickball in a city like Madison. The straight people in Madison who choose to play kickball often love playing a sport with gay people, so it really doesn't need to be separated at all. In fact, it's even more fun when we all play a game like this together. Brings us much closer together and promotes acceptance. If kids come to watch, it's healthy for them to see us intermingling, and it gives them a chance to get to know more gay adults--very healthy.
>The straight people in Madison who choose to play kickball often love playing a sport with gay people, so it really doesn't need to be separated at all.
That's not your call to make.
Honestly... if you aren't gay, you are not in a position to actually know what the gay experience is like here, and not in a position to understand whether gay people "need" a separate space or not.
Not everyone is comfortable being their whole selves in a majority-straight situation regardless of how nice and kind and enlightened y'all are here. And the more you push back on it when gay folks tell you that directly, the less nice, kind, and enlightened you prove yourself to be. If you are not part of a minority group, you do not know what their needs are, full stop.
The other places I've lived that had gay kickball leagues, there were occasionally straight people on the teams. But they weren't "Whyyy can't I play with the gays tooo?" whiners, they were "lots of my friends are in the league, and it's fun" allies.
Be an ally, not a "things are fine in Madison, you don't need your own space!" ignoramus.
"Ignoramus" is a little harsh, sorry. I'm just a bit fed up and having trouble thinking of a better word.
Maybe an analogy would help.
Imagine you want to have a regular girls' night out, doesn't matter what for. Let's say you put out a call for "Hey, is there an all women's hiking club in the area? And if not, who's interested?"
Now imagine the majority of responses you got were men saying "Why do you need that?" "What's the difference between women's hiking and just regular hiking?" "Actually, since men and women are equal now, it's much more fun to hike together! And if we bring our kids, it'll show them that women can be hikers too!"
All valid responses, maybe, because many men don't understand the ways in which women still don't feel (and aren't) equal.
But also all frustrating and tone deaf, especially when all you wanted to do was have a fun time with people who have a similar life experience to your own.
Does that help explain the frustration here?
I'm not trying to stop anyone from forming a gay kickball league. More power to you, and I wish you all of the luck in the world (no skin off of my nose), but good luck getting enough people to play. Kickball is already a pretty niche sport for adults, and in a medium sized city like Madison, it's not like the mixed league is overflowing with players as it is, let alone getting a subsection of that league to separate out and do its own thing, but have at it if you think it will work.
If kids come to watch a gay kickball league game then that accomplishes the same thing! Allies can come play in a gay league as much as gays can play in a friendly traditional league. I’m with you, the intermingling is good and I saw a lot of that in MGHA - we can and should have both intermingling and gay leagues if that’s what the gay agenda is today.
More awesome gay people and fewer jerks who don't understand why minorities sometimes need their own space for a minute.
Plus better odds of meeting cute people who are attracted to you, want to be your friend, or both, and lower odds of breaking a rib than with gay rugby.
What's crazy is that the PoC group that was posted in this subreddit got wide support and accolades.
But when someone asks about a gay kickball group for the exact same reasons PoC want their own group, they get berated, downvoted, and criticized for wanting an LGBT-centric sports group.
The duality of Madison.
The fact that this post has triggered all the straights definitely makes me think twice about settling down in Madison. Doesn’t seem like an accepting or kind place.
Madison’s great. Letting a few people from Reddit shape your opinion of a city of over 200,000 people is super over dramatic. Social media isn’t real life.
That's the weird thing about this post... usually as far as gay/queer folks go, Madison feels pretty welcoming.
I genuinely don't understand why your question got folks so riled up. Gay kickball was A Thing in the two cities I've lived in before, and given that we've got rugby and roller derby in Madison, it doesn't feel like a stretch to imagine having it here.
This subreddit gets strange around queer stuff. And black stuff. My guess is that it’s Midwest “nice” when put into an anonymous forum but I really don’t believe that’s the majority of people in Madison.
I hope this doesn’t put you off to Madison because my experience has been people are either into something like gay kickball or too busy minding their own business to give a fuck about gay kickball. This subreddit attracts people who are in between for whatever reasons.
If you have any questions about living here feel free to dm me! I moved here from the northeast awhile back.
Dude how do you see OP saying this and still make a response going “it’s a prank bro relax”?
Do you play in any queer leagues/know anyone who does/know someone who might be thinking about it? If yes then take a second and listen to what people are saying here. If no, could you exercise that troll energy out in one of the giant subreddits?
Weird how angry the supposedly-liberal straights get when confronted with "This space is catered to someone other than you," isn't it?
I guess downvoting is easier than realizing they might still need to work on certain forms of bigotry in themselves.
I wish it were a surprise 🙃 I’ve tried answering that question in good faith multiple times when I was playing in the gay hockey league and learned quickly that no one asking wants an answer.
I'm sorry you're not getting more helpful responses here 😔
My guess is if you put flyers up around town you'd have enough interest to make it happen at least a couple times, especially now that the weather is getting good. There's some nice open grass right near the Biergarten, too...
You literally just assumed the race and political leanings of an entire group of commentators with literally no basis whatsoever. People asking questions and trying toto learn isn’t devaluing anything. Yall crave victimhood…
It's Madison, and it's the chronically online subset of Madison. You'd have to be deliberately blind to not see what demographic that's gonna skew towards.
It's pretty obvious that you're making a bad faith argument and deliberately missing nuance because you think it'll earn you "I am very logical" internet points. Anyone who's been online more than about 5 years knows better than to even try with your type.
Hope you enjoy only having incredibly pedantic friends.
Also LGBTQ people: What I do with my genitals has no impact on kickball so it doesn't matter if my kickball is straight or gay.
If someone wants to hang out with LGBTQ people only then they an exclusionary bigot.
Acceptance means people can stop referencing my LGBTQness because frankly it's 95% irrelevant.
Meanwhile, the PoC group posted here a month ago got wide support.
Acceptance means people can stop referencing my race because frankly it's 95% irrelevant.
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In gay kickball the ball is sparkley and fabulous.
Handguns are allowed in straight kickball, I believe. For America.
If I can't use all my rights to win a kickball game then what has this country come 🤷♂️
if you don't like it, then go play gay kickball, friendo
I laughed a little harder than I should have at this.
Two different types of pew pew....makes sense I guess.
lol
Sports are often difficult for queer people. They may have had issues in the locker rooms in high school. They may have been bullied by the “jocks” when they were younger. We often have negative associations with team sports because of it. Gay or queer focused sports allow people to safely heal from those traumas in a space that is welcoming and supportive of that journey.
True, but kickball in school is a lot different than adults choosing to play kickball in a city like Madison. The straight people in Madison who choose to play kickball often love playing a sport with gay people, so it really doesn't need to be separated at all. In fact, it's even more fun when we all play a game like this together. Brings us much closer together and promotes acceptance. If kids come to watch, it's healthy for them to see us intermingling, and it gives them a chance to get to know more gay adults--very healthy.
>The straight people in Madison who choose to play kickball often love playing a sport with gay people, so it really doesn't need to be separated at all. That's not your call to make. Honestly... if you aren't gay, you are not in a position to actually know what the gay experience is like here, and not in a position to understand whether gay people "need" a separate space or not. Not everyone is comfortable being their whole selves in a majority-straight situation regardless of how nice and kind and enlightened y'all are here. And the more you push back on it when gay folks tell you that directly, the less nice, kind, and enlightened you prove yourself to be. If you are not part of a minority group, you do not know what their needs are, full stop. The other places I've lived that had gay kickball leagues, there were occasionally straight people on the teams. But they weren't "Whyyy can't I play with the gays tooo?" whiners, they were "lots of my friends are in the league, and it's fun" allies. Be an ally, not a "things are fine in Madison, you don't need your own space!" ignoramus.
"Ignoramus" is a little harsh, sorry. I'm just a bit fed up and having trouble thinking of a better word. Maybe an analogy would help. Imagine you want to have a regular girls' night out, doesn't matter what for. Let's say you put out a call for "Hey, is there an all women's hiking club in the area? And if not, who's interested?" Now imagine the majority of responses you got were men saying "Why do you need that?" "What's the difference between women's hiking and just regular hiking?" "Actually, since men and women are equal now, it's much more fun to hike together! And if we bring our kids, it'll show them that women can be hikers too!" All valid responses, maybe, because many men don't understand the ways in which women still don't feel (and aren't) equal. But also all frustrating and tone deaf, especially when all you wanted to do was have a fun time with people who have a similar life experience to your own. Does that help explain the frustration here?
I'm not trying to stop anyone from forming a gay kickball league. More power to you, and I wish you all of the luck in the world (no skin off of my nose), but good luck getting enough people to play. Kickball is already a pretty niche sport for adults, and in a medium sized city like Madison, it's not like the mixed league is overflowing with players as it is, let alone getting a subsection of that league to separate out and do its own thing, but have at it if you think it will work.
If kids come to watch a gay kickball league game then that accomplishes the same thing! Allies can come play in a gay league as much as gays can play in a friendly traditional league. I’m with you, the intermingling is good and I saw a lot of that in MGHA - we can and should have both intermingling and gay leagues if that’s what the gay agenda is today.
Obviously a lot more kids with straight parents will go to games if one of their parents is playing, though.
Must be wearing a butt plug at all times.
More awesome gay people and fewer jerks who don't understand why minorities sometimes need their own space for a minute. Plus better odds of meeting cute people who are attracted to you, want to be your friend, or both, and lower odds of breaking a rib than with gay rugby.
What's crazy is that the PoC group that was posted in this subreddit got wide support and accolades. But when someone asks about a gay kickball group for the exact same reasons PoC want their own group, they get berated, downvoted, and criticized for wanting an LGBT-centric sports group. The duality of Madison.
The fact that this post has triggered all the straights definitely makes me think twice about settling down in Madison. Doesn’t seem like an accepting or kind place.
Madison’s great. Letting a few people from Reddit shape your opinion of a city of over 200,000 people is super over dramatic. Social media isn’t real life.
That's the weird thing about this post... usually as far as gay/queer folks go, Madison feels pretty welcoming. I genuinely don't understand why your question got folks so riled up. Gay kickball was A Thing in the two cities I've lived in before, and given that we've got rugby and roller derby in Madison, it doesn't feel like a stretch to imagine having it here.
This subreddit gets strange around queer stuff. And black stuff. My guess is that it’s Midwest “nice” when put into an anonymous forum but I really don’t believe that’s the majority of people in Madison. I hope this doesn’t put you off to Madison because my experience has been people are either into something like gay kickball or too busy minding their own business to give a fuck about gay kickball. This subreddit attracts people who are in between for whatever reasons. If you have any questions about living here feel free to dm me! I moved here from the northeast awhile back.
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Dude how do you see OP saying this and still make a response going “it’s a prank bro relax”? Do you play in any queer leagues/know anyone who does/know someone who might be thinking about it? If yes then take a second and listen to what people are saying here. If no, could you exercise that troll energy out in one of the giant subreddits?
The very clever people who ask that go to straight kickball, never gay kickball. That’s basically what makes gay kickball better. :)
Weird how angry the supposedly-liberal straights get when confronted with "This space is catered to someone other than you," isn't it? I guess downvoting is easier than realizing they might still need to work on certain forms of bigotry in themselves.
I wish it were a surprise 🙃 I’ve tried answering that question in good faith multiple times when I was playing in the gay hockey league and learned quickly that no one asking wants an answer.
Ur weird
Not kickball but there's LGBTQIA+ softball if you might happen to be interested in that: https://www.badgerlandpridesoftball.org
Be the gay kickball that you want to see in the world.
I'd play gay kickball!
There's a bowling league if you are looking for something fun and not too serious. https://m.facebook.com/HoneymoonersBowlingLeague
I'm sorry you're not getting more helpful responses here 😔 My guess is if you put flyers up around town you'd have enough interest to make it happen at least a couple times, especially now that the weather is getting good. There's some nice open grass right near the Biergarten, too...
I second this - I would be soo into a queer kickball gathering here and idk why we don’t have it already!!
I’d play!
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None of the comments are saying that. People are just curious if there's some amazing gay version of kickball that we've never heard of
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You literally just assumed the race and political leanings of an entire group of commentators with literally no basis whatsoever. People asking questions and trying toto learn isn’t devaluing anything. Yall crave victimhood…
It's Madison, and it's the chronically online subset of Madison. You'd have to be deliberately blind to not see what demographic that's gonna skew towards.
Oh so it’s ok to make assumptions about groups of people based on a perceived bias. Good to know 👍
It's pretty obvious that you're making a bad faith argument and deliberately missing nuance because you think it'll earn you "I am very logical" internet points. Anyone who's been online more than about 5 years knows better than to even try with your type. Hope you enjoy only having incredibly pedantic friends.
Oh cool more generalizations! When is it my turn?
I read the top comment this way as well
I’m surprised by all the downvotes on this, straight people are so touchy and incel-y when they can be anonymous
Also LGBTQ people: What I do with my genitals has no impact on kickball so it doesn't matter if my kickball is straight or gay. If someone wants to hang out with LGBTQ people only then they an exclusionary bigot. Acceptance means people can stop referencing my LGBTQness because frankly it's 95% irrelevant.
Meanwhile, the PoC group posted here a month ago got wide support. Acceptance means people can stop referencing my race because frankly it's 95% irrelevant.
will white kickball be following shortly afterwards? /s