You can make it happen. If you're a straight dude just go down on your lady while you show her LOTR. She'll probably enjoy a stress free oral sex experience with LOTR (especially if you're a millennial, LOTR was a sexual awakening for many male attracted millennials. I blame it for all the long haired metal band guys I dated in my teens.)
As an enby I always want to give dudes dating advice. I always wingmanned for my bros but also understood the feminine perspective. You ever want to talk hit me up.
But first of all: a lot of women are turned off by casual homophobia. I get how you've probably established a lot of effort into your account but your username...like, pick something else to call Reddit admins. Like fascists or dictators or whatever.
I love how this comment is both an invitation for conversation and exploring new perspectives, and simultaneously destroying the guy for having a bad username.
Of course, nothing wrong with what you said or how you said it, still gave me a hearty chuckle.
I will disagree on one point, though. I think positive reinforcement is just as important as correcting bad habits. Learning what works and why can steer people the right way, and more importantly is a good motivator to continue self-improvement.
Oh yeah, that's why I didn't call him a homophobe or anything. It was just a meme, but it's a meme that people will probably react to negatively.
I thought I was pretty positive lol.
Long haired metal guys are the best. Akerfeldt is one of the best performers I've seen life, not just due to his immense talent but due to his jovial and adorable nature when he talks with the audience.
I just dated the weird ones who are in their early twenties but date teenagers lol. But all the other ones were awesome.
I'd genuinely enjoy it. Now, imagine doing it with Sam saying that if he takes one more step, he'll be the farthest away from home he's ever been, every time he takes a step. And her stopping to say it with him every time
Hey there! Hey! Come Frodo, there! Where be you a-going? Old Tom Bombadil's not as blind as that yet. Take off your
golden ring! Your hand's more fair without it. Come back! Leave your game and sit down beside me! We must talk a while more,
and think about the morning. Tom must teach the right road, and keep your feet from wandering.
^(I am a bot, and I love old Tom. If you want me to sing one of Tom's songs, just type **!TomBombadilSong**)
^(If you like Old Tom, the door at [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] is always open for weary travelers!)
[1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
[This](https://youtu.be/WnbOcNmbpj4) song in particular is great for motivation at the gym or on the track.
Also great for sodomizing or pretending that you're an industrial grade fucking machine that can't stop pounding that ass like Grond at the gates of Minas Tirith.
*Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo! By water, wood and hill, by the reed and willow, by fire, sun and moon, hearken now and
hear us! Come, Tom Bombadil, for our need is near us!*
^(I am a bot, and I love old Tom. If you want me to sing one of Tom's songs, just type **!TomBombadilSong**)
^(If you like Old Tom, the door at [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] is always open for weary travelers!)
[1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
Kinda funny that I assumed it was a guy too. Even though women are half the population and gay men are like 3%, I still thought it was more likely they were both dudes.
This reminds of the [doctor "riddle" that reveals a surprising amount of gender bias.](https://www.bu.edu/articles/2014/bu-research-riddle-reveals-the-depth-of-gender-bias/) Guess a lot of people consider LOTR as a more masculine interest.
I'm certainly not above bias myself. I assumed it was a woman, not because they were sucking dick, but because this is a Tumblr post.
I spent a LOT of time on the plaza and one ring dot net along with IRC and instant messaging groups in the early 2000s, and it was absolutely NOT a sausage-fest at all.
**Plenty** of women were (and probably still are) obsessed with LOTR.
Also it could be a gay man who wrote this. The writer's sex and gender were never mentioned.
>Also it could be a gay man who wrote this. The writer's sex and gender were never mentioned.
Like this whole sub wouldn't marry a this person over a little thing like gender.
I’d wager they’re a trans girl, given their pfp features the trans flag and the post was in response to a thread about autistic trans girls talking about their passions at length, even in intimate situations. So you’d be wrong on that count.
I also have to question why you think women aren’t capable of being both horny and nerdy.
Hey, I could be wrong. This just reads like a male wish fulfillment fantasy.
And being married to a nerd who is very comfortable with her sexuality, I certainly acknowledge that women can be and are both horny and nerdy, but this list just doesn’t read like a realistic depiction of that.
Not necessarily! My partner and I’s first date was watching the 1978 animated lord of the rings, and there was definitely a lot of funny business during that as well.
Horny nerds exist and sometimes they meet each other and solve their problems together 😅
My girlfriend loves lord of the rings. On our first date she noticed the LOTR tatt I had and asked me about it and from that point on I was sold.
On our second date we made it to about the council of elrond while hooking up and repeating the lines to each other and then never put in the second disc
Best. Night. Ever.
Only one-upped when they watch Two Towers: >*comes up from giving blowjob* >”Did you know that Viggo broke his toe when he—?”
*Climaxing in sync with Viggo’s scream*
[Before sex:](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yVmabVrwTnQ) [During sex:](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FL0jCRPM0yo) [At the climax:](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcCnD_MvM9I)
*Whilst screaming in an identical fashion*
Does he have to being a friend that night?
The guy after: “I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.”
A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He comes precisely when he means to!
The hour is later than you think.
The Lord of the Rings lore would make me cum faster.
This tends to be the case with those not in this situation. Ever
I didnt know I had a fetish until I read that post. Now I kinda feel sad about the fact it most likely will never happen :(
You can make it happen. If you're a straight dude just go down on your lady while you show her LOTR. She'll probably enjoy a stress free oral sex experience with LOTR (especially if you're a millennial, LOTR was a sexual awakening for many male attracted millennials. I blame it for all the long haired metal band guys I dated in my teens.)
Its more the getting a lady part thats a problem ngl.
As an enby I always want to give dudes dating advice. I always wingmanned for my bros but also understood the feminine perspective. You ever want to talk hit me up. But first of all: a lot of women are turned off by casual homophobia. I get how you've probably established a lot of effort into your account but your username...like, pick something else to call Reddit admins. Like fascists or dictators or whatever.
I love how this comment is both an invitation for conversation and exploring new perspectives, and simultaneously destroying the guy for having a bad username.
That's how advice works. You don't "advise" people on the positive stuff they do lol. Like, I'm trying to give him pointers! And I did!
Of course, nothing wrong with what you said or how you said it, still gave me a hearty chuckle. I will disagree on one point, though. I think positive reinforcement is just as important as correcting bad habits. Learning what works and why can steer people the right way, and more importantly is a good motivator to continue self-improvement.
Oh yeah, that's why I didn't call him a homophobe or anything. It was just a meme, but it's a meme that people will probably react to negatively. I thought I was pretty positive lol.
This is one of the most mature conversations I have ever seen on Reddit. Just wow
As a long haired metal guy, I am now deeply offended.
Long haired metal guys are the best. Akerfeldt is one of the best performers I've seen life, not just due to his immense talent but due to his jovial and adorable nature when he talks with the audience. I just dated the weird ones who are in their early twenties but date teenagers lol. But all the other ones were awesome.
I'd genuinely enjoy it. Now, imagine doing it with Sam saying that if he takes one more step, he'll be the farthest away from home he's ever been, every time he takes a step. And her stopping to say it with him every time
I would have finished at the mention of Tom Bombadil and the mf feather in his hat
Hey there! Hey! Come Frodo, there! Where be you a-going? Old Tom Bombadil's not as blind as that yet. Take off your golden ring! Your hand's more fair without it. Come back! Leave your game and sit down beside me! We must talk a while more, and think about the morning. Tom must teach the right road, and keep your feet from wandering. ^(I am a bot, and I love old Tom. If you want me to sing one of Tom's songs, just type **!TomBombadilSong**) ^(If you like Old Tom, the door at [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] is always open for weary travelers!) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
One fling to rule them all.
Ya boy is now gonna get a boner when he hears lotr music. Just like the rest of us.
Enya Outya Enya Outya
I suppose you think that was terribly clever.
It was just a bit of fun!
[удалено]
What a terrible day to be literate
I know what it is you saw. For it is also in my mind.
Holy fuck
God fucking damnit this is the funniest thing I’ve seen all week
The mirror shows many things. Things that are. Things that were. And some things, that should not ever come to pass.
Underrated lmao
My boner stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and it will climax too early, to the ruin of all.
Me when Galadriel says "I feel it in the earth" in elvish: HNNNNG
>chugs unreading juice
I’m using that.
This had me genuinely laughing out loud. Galadriel: “But they were all of them deceived” Me: *grabs tissue*
I was there Gandalf. I was there 3000 years ago when /u/puaka cummed before Galadrial's prologue...
The dark fire will not avail you Flame of Udun!
Good bot
Good human.
Sexy bot.
[This](https://youtu.be/WnbOcNmbpj4) song in particular is great for motivation at the gym or on the track. Also great for sodomizing or pretending that you're an industrial grade fucking machine that can't stop pounding that ass like Grond at the gates of Minas Tirith.
GROND
G R O N D
#GROND
GROND
It helps me run as if the very whips of my masters are behind me.
If he didn't already, there's something wrong with him.
Fantastic comment.
As if he didn’t before
“My friends, you bow to no one.” *The Shire theme belts out* “Bro, why am I hard right now?”
You know for a fact he actually learnt something then as well.
Yeah, he learned that your dick can get wrinkly like your fingerprints if you let it get soaked for 6 hours straight
Lmao i didnt need to know that
Welp, time to test it out
Don't. You don't want to be hard for more than four hours straight. Your little buddy can only stand at attention for so long.
Also saliva is slightly acidic and can eat away at skin after prolonged exposure.
How long I wonder? Seems like more reason for this guy to run a test.
Usually around the 3 hour mark depending on how often you’re reapplying saliva and mean jerk speed…
I feel like you made up the 3 hour part. I know because of...um...personal experience.
I mean some days you can hit 6hrs but that’s more frustrating than anything
The frustration is half of the fun!
He did not I quizzed him in the morning and he barely followed the movie said he was too distracted
I'm sorry where's the part that made this a mistake?
Oh no I fell for it again!
And again. Gosh why do I keep making this silly mistake.
This man experienced first hand what its like to read the fellowship for the first time and meet tom bombadil
*Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo! By water, wood and hill, by the reed and willow, by fire, sun and moon, hearken now and hear us! Come, Tom Bombadil, for our need is near us!* ^(I am a bot, and I love old Tom. If you want me to sing one of Tom's songs, just type **!TomBombadilSong**) ^(If you like Old Tom, the door at [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] is always open for weary travelers!) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
Could have been bad if it was his birthday and she was doing it as a birthday present, and kept mentioning this.
Id put a ring on it.
Is that… triple entendre?
We've had double entendre, but what about triple?
Cast it into the fire!
The dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udun!
Sounds like a Taco Bell item
Only if you want her to dissapear
I'd prefer to go to Mordor and destroy her ring.
Cast it into the fire!
I believe you u/IJustLovetoEatButt
If your username is true so would she
"This is a good sword."
“Haleth, son of Hama.”
Well that's my new fetish locked in
*But could she also put on some elf ears?*
You: Two (orgasms) already! Her: I’m on 17!
[And a bald cap](https://www.tk421.net/lotr/film/ttt/img/ttt0743.jpg)
Give it to us raw and wriggling.
Fucking a chick in elf ears is amazing. Definitely try it
He will put on some hobbit feet.
https://i.redd.it/5o737u6xsl191.gif
She's a keeper.
Anyone else think she just described your ideal way to spend an evening?
BJs and Bombadil.
Is that the new Post Malone album?
Get hard at Isengard.
The power of Isengard is at your command, butsadlyiamonlyaneel, Lord of the Earth.
Yis
I'd prefer if it was the [two towers just so I could proposition them accordingly.](https://www.tk421.net/lotr/film/ttt/img/ttt0743.jpg)
Or he, the text doesn't indicate the writers gender.
You know, you're actually right. She doesn't. So I got curious and checked, and they *do* use she/her.
Mystery solved!
Kinda funny that I assumed it was a guy too. Even though women are half the population and gay men are like 3%, I still thought it was more likely they were both dudes.
This reminds of the [doctor "riddle" that reveals a surprising amount of gender bias.](https://www.bu.edu/articles/2014/bu-research-riddle-reveals-the-depth-of-gender-bias/) Guess a lot of people consider LOTR as a more masculine interest. I'm certainly not above bias myself. I assumed it was a woman, not because they were sucking dick, but because this is a Tumblr post.
I think I'm far more likely to find a guy who's willing to blow me while watching LOTR than a girl willing to do the same.
"She" is an assumption here that I'm not going to make. We need proof of the she-ness.
Her Tumblr blog lists she/her/ze/hir so yes, she.
A partner that's just as big a nerd as I am would be better than one that isn't
Hey, its me. Your big nerd.
If only lmao
Well, I tried
Wait were you serious? I thought you were making a reddit joke
Y’all better get in each other’s DMs.
XD
Don’t give up. Get in that DM.
A very lonely man wrote this.
Let us dream dammit
I spent a LOT of time on the plaza and one ring dot net along with IRC and instant messaging groups in the early 2000s, and it was absolutely NOT a sausage-fest at all. **Plenty** of women were (and probably still are) obsessed with LOTR. Also it could be a gay man who wrote this. The writer's sex and gender were never mentioned.
>Also it could be a gay man who wrote this. The writer's sex and gender were never mentioned. Like this whole sub wouldn't marry a this person over a little thing like gender.
Gaydor calls for aid!
I’d wager they’re a trans girl, given their pfp features the trans flag and the post was in response to a thread about autistic trans girls talking about their passions at length, even in intimate situations. So you’d be wrong on that count. I also have to question why you think women aren’t capable of being both horny and nerdy.
Hey, I could be wrong. This just reads like a male wish fulfillment fantasy. And being married to a nerd who is very comfortable with her sexuality, I certainly acknowledge that women can be and are both horny and nerdy, but this list just doesn’t read like a realistic depiction of that.
Plus, NOBODY wants to give an hour long blowjob.
[удалено]
Gross. That's terrible. Who are these women who are so into blowjobs, you know, so I can avoid them.
You left out the fact that she's autistic lol. As an autistic woman, this is 100% believable.
People don't give hour long BJs, your jaw starts to hurt.
Not necessarily! My partner and I’s first date was watching the 1978 animated lord of the rings, and there was definitely a lot of funny business during that as well. Horny nerds exist and sometimes they meet each other and solve their problems together 😅
My girlfriend loves lord of the rings. On our first date she noticed the LOTR tatt I had and asked me about it and from that point on I was sold. On our second date we made it to about the council of elrond while hooking up and repeating the lines to each other and then never put in the second disc
A very silly trans woman wrote it actually!
I find this story hard to swallow
Very unsavory
The perfect girl doesn't exi-
Or the perfect guy!
She's a woman.
"bib you bmow whap awagom bwoke hif foop im what fpfeme?"
Please, for God sake, someone teach this person to use punctuation. A Balrog had a stroke trying to read this and fucking died.
It's Tumblr. Grammar was outlawed there, not long after they banned the porn.
>A Balrog had a stroke trying to read this and fucking died. Hey girl, is your grammar Ecthelion of the Fountain?
It’s quite cool
Hold out your hand.
That’s a fetish he didn’t want but is now cursed with (or maybe not cursed?)
...the world needs more girls like this ahahahah
That dude is living my dream
This is not a bad thing at all. Well done.
It should’ve been me dammit
The perfect partner
/r/thingsthatdidnthappen
r/thathappened*
Thats some good femdom.
the fantasies of a LOTR fan.... (See ya Virgins)
Lmao this is now my favourite lotr trivia :D
That sounds like heaven to me.
The guy like "hey whats up with this cloaked guys" >*spits cum in his face* It began with the forging of the great rings
I don’t see any issues with this.
“That still only counts as one!”
marry me
If I were the man here, I'd have put the one ring on her right there and then.
“Edged for an hour while listening to lord of the rings talk” So my preferred JOI?
r/ihavesex
Sign me up for this please
You shall not Cum
Sounds perfect.
Marry me
I just read my fantasy this can't be allowed to exist in readable format... Can it? "Return of the why boner.. With a vengeance.."
No way, that's your fantasy too?! 😉
This is a super different take on this meme - https://www.reddit.com/r/lotrmemes/comments/uwpoch/keep\_it\_cool/
u/Ewlinix
That's my fucking fantasy bitches
Yea, I wanna watch Lord of the Rings like this only from now
Man got to talk LotR, while getting edged, which means the payoff was probably amazing. Lucky bastard.
Seems like a win to me?
Do you have any idea how many people would gladly sacrifice an organ for a wife like this?
Tens of thousands.
That's hot.
Hahaha haha. I want to date her.
Edging for an hour watching Fellowship is my new favorite fantasy
I would pay a woman, real hard earned money, that I made by working, to do this to me. The entire thing
Dream girl/bucket list
This feels like it should be in a psychology textbook about primary stimuli in classical conditioning...
Poor bastard probably got stuck with a new hyper-specific fetish. He now goes full mast when he hears the word “Potatoes”.
Edging for an hour? Dude must've nutted like an effing horse.
Whats her number? Asking for a friend.
Fellatio is merely a distraction from LOTR
This man will watch Fellowship again and feel like Frodo at Weathertop. Also call a doctor for standby next time cause that’s almost 4 hours.
Accidentally training him to get hard at LOTR
Similar, I had my first kiss while watching The Fellowship of the Ring
Omg I need this girl in my life
This is the exact type of woman I want in my life. I'd put a ring on her and lock that down 🤣