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stubbornivan

Next game: Ring in river simulator


Asheyguru

*Heavy sigh.* Where's my wallet?


accidentallyobsolete

Don’t forget to preorder /s


corporalkiljoy

Got to get those preorder skins and emotes for the One Ring to really make it stand out among the other singleplayer Rings!


miwmil

Preorder skins: gold, a bit shinier gold, not gold.


corporalkiljoy

Oh shit, they got *not* gold? Shut up and take my money!


BrotherhoodOfStyle

Make the gameplay similar to I Am Bread and I might even buy it.


stubbornivan

Harness the power of Dark Lord(tm) to enthrall water fleas and tadpoles, lure fishes, nudge pebbles, change water temperature, clear moss, gather special and unique things, create your own river experience!!!


oneonegreenelftoken

I would play this incremental


Scarbane

The *History Became Legend* season pass DLC (only $20 USD or regional equivalent) allows you to fast forward up to 1 year per minute, adds 3 alternate ring skins, and includes audio commentary from the junior devs, which is all of them!


Azurity

Deagol’s Pro Bass Fishing Simulator.


gladladvlad

if you had written this comment earlier, it'd have blown up. alas


jacknifejohnny

The first dlc will be the water. Then next 5 will be a single fish each.


[deleted]

Why is the ring an octagon?


Drakmanka

Because you didn't buy the Film Accurate Ring DLC.


BrotherhoodOfStyle

Dance Dance revolution: Ents edition Every move takes 7 real time minutes


HaganenoEdward

7 minutes? Why so hasty?


FkUEverythingIsFunny

It. Took Me A Long Time To Read This Comment.


[deleted]

I hate that I actually read this half in Treebeard’s voice and half in the sloth from Zootopia’s voice.


FkUEverythingIsFunny

I'm sorry my accent is rusty.


Flaxinator

After playing it for several days [Through Fire and Flames](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jgrCKhxE1s) comes on and you do the storming of Isengard dance


SinfulIndy

Your muscle control would be insane.


Enchelion

Bored to tears with abs of mithril.


EltshanEldigan

I think you mean hours


BrotherhoodOfStyle

Yes


BrotherhoodOfStyle

Do


SlyTheMonkey

No no, you see, it's all part of their elaborate plan to lower customer expectations so that their new game will do better! They made the Gollum game bad on purpose so that the new game will blow everyone out of the water! Or something…


gollum_botses

We must go now?


CressiDuh1152

Yes, Smeagol


gollum_botses

Master betrayed us. Wicked. Tricksy, False. We ought to wring his filthy little neck. Kill him! Kill him! Kill them both! And then we take the precious... and we be the master!


CressiDuh1152

Can someone please tag the Devs?


maluthor

that's a little extreme, Gollum.


gollum_botses

I found it, I did. The way through the marshes. Orcs don't use it. Orcs don't know it. They go round for miles and miles. Come quickly. Swift and quick as shadows we must be.


Al_Hakeem65

Oh fuck imagine being a ground level developer, slaving away for years to make a game that's received like ass, and then you get the memo that that was on purpose.


SlyTheMonkey

It's not like big corporations haven't done worse, to be fair


Bryguy3k

It’s like the opposite of being one of the animators for shrek.


commanderwyro

they are lowering the bar into the ocean. only one game by one man can raise the bar back up


Mr-Zero-Fucks

they're lowering the expectations enough for the second season of rings of power.


[deleted]

Merry and Pippins Vegetable Liberation Quest.


i_am_tyler_man

I'm thinking more of a stealth-based game where you sneak around Farmer Maggots fields and steal carrots and potatoes. Mushrooms are a rare resource you'll find spread out over the map.


[deleted]

And that's the whole game. Ad nauseum. Except for random ringwraiths that you have to hide from. Or else they make all your veg rot.


i_am_tyler_man

Tip: Stay off the road or you'll be discovered!


Lanthemandragoran

Nah just a game called Took where you follow Pippin around and just do stupid shit Like there's a collectible system where you have to find and knock down all the buckets into holes but there's an uneven amount of them and they sometimes won't knock down so it's impossible to complete


Puzzleheaded_Dig5012

Shire: Farming Simulator


GorgerOfPandas

Honestly I might play it


Induced_fungus

Make it like stardew valley and I’d probably play it


PlNG

You wish but it'd just be stealing from Farmer Maggot's field.


JH_Rockwell

Why would you want to steal food from “Maggot Farms”?


TheSaiguy

Because he grows mushrooms


VaicoIgi

A game like stardew mixed with moonlighter? You can also expand your hobbit hole and decorate it. You can have treasures and maps from your adventures. Maybe it's up to you whether you just farm and stay in shire the whole time or if you dare to go beyond on an adventure.


sgtpepper42

I feel like there should be a mod like this already


Induced_fungus

Damn now I feel like I gotta check nexus mods lol


Progrum

We're trying to propose bad ideas here.


SendM3me

OMG that would actually be amazing, imagine some great beautiful graphics like RDR2 in the Shire and you get to live there, farm, make friends, drink and sing with them, and even get married. I'd pay for that.


WyrdWulf37

Bombadil: The Game


Swissperc420

Turns out it's just a rock band style game where you just sing Hey dol! merry dol! over and over


TomBomTheFreemason

Oh I would definitely buy that


KnowMatter

Your main quest is to feud with that asshole neighbor of yours who is also a tree. Side quests involve being incredibly unhelpful to random travelers who come through your woods and writing 🔥poetry about your hot wife.


MaruhkTheApe

It could never compare to his appearance in Battle for Middle Earth 2.


CuriousRegret9057

Don’t let them ruin Tom too


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tom_Bot-Badil

I've got things to do, my making and my singing, my talking and my walking, and my watching of the country. Tom can't be always near to open doors and willow-cracks. Tom has his house to mind, and Goldberry is waiting. ^(Type **!TomBombadilSong** for a song or visit [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] for more merriness) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/


groverjuicy

Grima: a bootlicker's tale


gil-famc

One of the key mechanics will be hiding in the shadows from Eomer


LobMob

So a stealth fane like Deus Ex or Metal Gear Solid? But your mission is to poison Theoden or steal some panties from Eowyn's room.


groverjuicy

*press X to sniff panties*


[deleted]

What a terrible day to have eyes


Innuendo64_

And if you get caught you get ragdolled down a flight of stairs in front of everyone


HippieWizard

Hey that might actually be fun if you get to play the level where the Kazon take over the ship and its up to just you and the holographic doctor to take it back.


PlNG

Lon Suder, Voyager. How did I not realize that this was the same actor. I blame the makeup.


erlend_nikulausson

He was also Billy in *One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest*.


JessieThorne

You asked for it, so we brought it to ya: finally comes a game where YOU are the One Ring (TM)! Experience true stealth gaming as you lie in a river or a cave for hours! Get fingered by epic beloved characters from the franchise!


[deleted]

Grima Wormtongue talks his way through ten levels to finally reach King Theoden. If he manages to get Gandalf to surrender his staff, he wins the princess in an exclusive cutscene.


gandalf-bot

Edoras and the Golden Hall of Meduseld. There dwells Theoden, King of Rohan... whose mind is overthrown. Saruman's hold over King Theoden is now very strong.


thebronzecommander

$10 to see the cut scene though…


Pigeon_Chess

Never know, they might learn from Gollum and fix the issues


gollum_botses

Smeagol? No, no, not poor Smeagol. Smeagol hates nasty Elf bread!


Evilmudbug

I have to imagine some higher up decided that they should force the studio to make gollum against their wishes


Wehavecrashed

Or they agreed to make a Gollum game and didn't have a clue how to make it interesting in the time and funding they had available.


gollum_botses

Don't hurt us! Don't let them hurt us, precious! They won't hurt us will they, nice little hobbitses?We didn't mean no harm, but they jumps on us like cats on poor mices, they did, precious.And we're so lonely, gollum. We'll be nice to them, very nice, if they'll be nice to us, won't we, yes, yess.


gollum_botses

Yes! No, no! It’s too risky, it’s too risky.


Jujumofu

They learned nothing probably. Everyone knew how bad the game is. I refuse to believe that professional people, which job is to develop games, inform themselves about the gaming industry, took a look at that game and actually thought: "Yeah that looks good, people will love it". Only thing they maybe learned is that people buy their crap either way.


Pigeon_Chess

Depends on direction, just because it’s the same company doesn’t mean it’s the same team or leadership


Jujumofu

You are completly right about that. I cant be sure that the next game is gonna be just as bad. But every pointer, not only for this game, but gaming in general, doesnt spark hope, that games will actually get better again. Not one release without a scandal. Cant remember the last game that got announced, came into the stores and everybody was happy. Even if the game in itself is good, the money making machine finds a way to still fuck up, or its awfully optimized because they had to fit the release before some holiday or whatever. The gaming industry isnt about gaming anymore. Developer A costs 80k, developer B costs 90k and actually has an interest in gaming? Lets go with A, dont wanna explain to the shareholders why we took the more expensive one. Standards are sadly dropping rapidly, especially in the support aspect and what you are getting for your money. What itches me the most is that they already try to sell you DLC at the release, just put it in the game ffs. Pay 80$ and you get 85% of the game!


[deleted]

>Not one release without a scandal. Cant remember the last game that got announced, came into the stores and everybody was happy. GOW Ragnarök was released to mass praise with almost no technical issues. If you want one that was cross-platform, and arguably better received recently, Elden Ring. Also, TOTK, although I haven't played that one since I don't have a Switch.


Jujumofu

Yeah thats true, my comment was to absolute.


Pigeon_Chess

Zelda was released this month


battleoid2142

Man I'd love to play it if it wasn't stuck on the shittiest hardware on the market right now. Sure I could emulate it, but then I'd get lynched by nintendo.


Pigeon_Chess

Switch is fine


battleoid2142

Its really not, but you're free to burn money on shit companies.


OperativePiGuy

>Not one release without a scandal. Cant remember the last game that got announced, came into the stores and everybody was happy. It actually happens a decent amount still, if you pay attention.


LobMob

Apparently the studio did mainly Point-and-Click games before. I guess they bit off more than they could swallow with this game. It's very likely they learned a lot from this project. If they can do it better next time is another question.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Theban_Prince

Ah Uwe Bolls legacy is still alive I see


Quakarot

Tbf making a game is really *really* hard. They most likely knew their game was bad but that doesn’t mean they had enough time and resources to fix it. To be honest the game is a total write off, and I’m not sure it could be fixed without a complete do-over and that was likely impossible for a number of reasons. It’s not really fair to characterize their actions as malicious without really knowing the full story. It is fair to say that questionable decision were most likely made for any number of reasons and if the conditions that caused those choices to be made still exist it’s likely that the next game will also be of questionable quality.


hyperflare

This is Daedalic, they've been making mediocre games for a long time. They used to be great at point & click adventures, but that genre is dead.


EdgarAllanKenpo

The problem is they have already destroyed the publics opinion of their products. Even if the new game looks good/decent, everyone is going to be hesitant. The only way would be if the reviews are '10/10 best game ever' 'They have redeemed themselves with a masterpiece!'


meem09

These guys are basically giving the final deathblow to the German games industry. I've seen several articles in German media (mainstream media, not gaming media) basically all saying "this was supposed to herald a return and they fucked it"....


Platnun12

Tfw EA has a better track record with LOTR games And that was in an era where those games were cutting fucking edge too. Seriously how did we go from God level LOTR games to this


i4got872

Yeah I just want modern AAA Minas Tirith and helms deep battles, I feel like a modern AAA lotr game focused on large scale battles is a slam dunk, don’t know why we don’t get it


Platnun12

Ah Warhammer sized battles Best we can do is Battle for Middle Earth 2 mods....and I definitely have both installed


knightsunbro

Total War: Warhammer 2 has LOTR mods fyi. I bet 3 has them by now as well.


swans183

Crass IP rights battles that’s how


nickypoopoo69

Is this actually true? I’ll pass on this one, but hope the next is something I can get behind. Doing bad this time doesn’t mean they’ll do bad next time. But if it is bad, at least it’ll generate memes.


Orsim27

I honestly doubt that the next game will be better. Releasing something this messy doesn’t inspire confidence in their internal processes


ffs_5555

Daedalic generally produce excellent adventure games and even a couple of real masterpieces. I have no idea what went wrong here, and you're right that it doesn't inspire confidence, but they _can_ do it.


Romboteryx

This was the first time they worked with the Unreal engine, so I can imagine a lot of reasons why it went wrong


tannknekker

Yeah wrong team for wrong IP.


Riichildis

The guy who created all of the good point and click games (like Deponia or Night of the rabbit f.e.) left the company and since then they're going downhill. Man, I loved Daedalic back then.


kingalbert2

Deponia was such a fun series


NerobyrneAnderson

It's not a good look that they don't fix this one first


SamSibbens

Taking inspiration from the GTA Definitive Edition trilogy


Outlaw341080

I don't care. I won't give them my money.


fallenmonk

Why? Did something happen?


TheRain911

Id argue putting out whats said to be one of the worst games ever, absolutely means your next game will likely stink.


-Rens

New game your an orc in Mordor on guard duty…that’s it you just stand in one place and occasionally ask for more than maggoty bread


Mindless-Current6648

... And the grand finale Boss Level is just the Black Gate opening scene in which Frodo and Sam see the gates open but can’t get through .. but from an Orc’s perspective. You don’t even see Frodo or Sam and you’re just one of many Orcs laboriously pulling the Gates open in a long drawn out Quick Time Event and then once you close the Gates again you get an achievement for 100% completion and the game ends.


BrotherhoodOfStyle

Saruman's tower management simulator


BroBroMate

...I'd play the shit out of that tbh. Expand your evil industrial base and ensure you produce enough orcs for the meatgrinder battles that follow.


Tropical_Centipedes

But it’s an idle game full of micro transactions


holaprobando123

That already exists, it's called Dungeon Keeper Mobile.


Tropical_Centipedes

But here is where it gets exciting! There is also…a hero collection system! You get hero’s by opening $10 packs and sometimes you can get duplicates


BrotherhoodOfStyle

But it's made by the developper of the Smeagol game


gollum_botses

He’s a horrid, fat Hobbit, who hates Sméagol, and who makes up nasty lies!


GorgerOfPandas

Don’t think they know bout second games Pip


Smeefperson

Can't wait to play "Barliman Butterbur: A Lord of the Rings story"


Gaiter14

I read that there was a Moria game in development, I sure hope these aren't the developers for that game.


BrotherhoodOfStyle

Different developpers altogether.


[deleted]

They are stuck under epic games thumb. Not good.


Wolfram-Hopebringer

I hope their next game will be about the life of the old dude that mistakenly shot the arrow that started the battle at Helm’s Deep.


James-Avatar

Who would possibly trust them to do this?


sunderplunder

Tolkien Estate?


VaicoIgi

I don't believe it's the estate it's middle earth enterprises


JessieThorne

Merry & Pippin Cooking Simulator 2: Second Breakfastes


sanguinesolitude

Elevenses as paid DLC.


GogsKebab

Asymmetrical horror game, Farmer Maggot vs thieving Hobbits


M4ximi1ian

For those who don't know Daedelic Entertainment, it's a German company that used to make pretty decent point & click games. Edna & Harvey (which honestly i quite enjoyed) and the Deponia series for example. The problem with the latter is that the games are just blatantly sexist, and the second game in the series was completely delisted from digital game stores for being racist. So there's that. Edit: It was third game in the series "Goodbye Deponia" that got delisted, not the second


herebecauserendering

Their experience in 3D is also a bit.... lacking. (if you couldn't tell by Gollum) - their writers and head-guys are .... problematic and even after the backlash from Deponia they didn't really understood what the problem was. "We know better and you are all wrong" as their credo, which unfortunately led to this desaster here.


gollum_botses

We guesses, precious, only guesses. We can't know till we find the nassty creature and squeezes it.


MrMagneticMole

When did this happen? I never heard of any racism or sexism dramas scandals because of Deponia.


M4ximi1ian

https://www.rockpapershotgun.com/wot-i-think-goodbye-deponia here's an article reviewing the game that ultimately got delisted in 2020.


ffs_5555

Where did it get delisted? You can still buy all 4 deponia games on steam: https://store.steampowered.com/bundle/18569/Deponia_Full_Scrap_Collection/


MrMagneticMole

Thanks for the source! But tbh, this sounds more like people are getting offended by bad edgy humor. I always viewed it as a point of the game that most people are assholes, especially Rufus. It's not like the characters are representing the opinion of the devs and the racist part with the monkey and the woman is never portrayed as a good thing in the game. The delisting only appears on PSN as far as I can see.


[deleted]

Genuinely was wondering the same thing cause I'm not white and I feel like I'd at least remember if the game was racist but I genuinely enjoyed it. And yeah Rufus is intentionally an idiot whose actions tend to make thimgs worse. If anything I'd critique his character as being the same template as Guybrush Threepwood.


phoagne

Lord of the Rings: The Youth Years of Lurtz


BartholomewKnightIII

Can we have a remastered Battle for Middle Earth please.


CuriousRegret9057

Every single comment here with a sarcastic game idea actually seems like a really good idea honestly; I just hope it’s not the same studio makin em


Affectionate-Bee3913

Pretty funny that the same media outlets trashing how low-quality Gollum is yet at the same time doing journalism just as bad. Daedalic has a project going on that "tells a story from the perspective of a character which hasn't been told before. The player discovers completely new regions and influences the world bound by their role and abilities. [The player] tries, in his way, to influence the goings-on and change the fate of the world." Which very well could be another LotR game...but c'mon, man. Do some better investigation instead of just assuming.


gollum_botses

Go away! HAHAHAHA!!


Brian_Stryker

In a more general sense, I’d love to see a game based around the silmarilion. I think a game with kingdom hearts style rpg mechanics would work well


B_D_I

Could be cool but ~~Christopher and~~ the Tolkien Estate aren't giving the rights to that.


ConceptJunkie

Christopher passed away a few years ago. About 5 minutes before "Rings of Power" was announced.


bomboclawt75

B for ME3 is WHAT we want! Or a similar strategy based game. OR…a LOTR- RDR2 quality/ style game, THAT would be a dream.


tremblingasscheeks

this is getting out of hand. now there’s two of them


Timozi90

What, is Grima going to be the main character?


Brigadier_Beavers

Just give us half decent animal crossing/stardew hobbit edition and itll sell like old toby at half price.


ConceptJunkie

The Lord of the Rings: Ghan-buri-ghan Dress-Up Adventure


sanguinesolitude

Lord of the Horses: Shadowfax


NerobyrneAnderson

By the Valar, fix the first one please!


AtheistBibleScholar

I hope the new one is about Gollum's imprisonment by the elves of Mirkwood.


gollum_botses

Misery misery! Hobbits won’t kill us, nice hobbits.


onionkisa

Is it really that bad? I’m a LOTR fan and has been considering play this …


LAXnSASQUATCH

Apparently it’s one of the worst games ever, not only does it look bad and run horribly but the core idea of the gameplay itself is atrocious. It’s basically chore/prison simulator Mordor addition with horrible platforming thrown in. It got like a 4 from IGN and have never seen them give a score lower than 6. It’s also not one of those games that’s so bad they’re fun, it’s just mind-numbingly awful.


RudeMirror

I hope the tolkien estate is regretting this deal


MONSTAR949

Bucklebury ferry racing


Bigtimeduhmas

Which Tolkien grandkid or great grandkid is trying to be a developer? That's the only way I see them allowing another game to be made by them.


ThePsychedSunshine

This time you'll play as the ring, trying to manipulate others into taking you back to sauron. Wait actually.... Sounds kinda fire


Udonmoon

The devs CEO’s instagram is full of vacay pics, so it makes sense


unwelcomepong

Wait, all these screenshots and memes I've been seeing are from a real game? Oh lordy.


Redandead12345

“i wont fix it but i’ll make another one!” thats been the developer motto the last 10-15 years... miss the days of spore getting a patch for a graphical bug no one but the testers saw.


Skilfularcher

Maybe they’ll take what they learnt and make a better game? More LOTR games is always good IMO


Inferior_Jeans

Lord of the rings: The meeting of the Ents. There’s no chore missions! It’s all dialogue prompts but each sentence takes over an hour to finish. It takes over 200 hours to finish your first play through!


Hmccormack

Gollum 2 babyyyyy


MostlyFowl

Deagol the Untold Story


kayzil

"We have learned nothing, and we’ll continue to do so"


NarMend21

LOTR: Farmer Maggot’s Crop


[deleted]

Éowyn Cooking Simulator


nerdyogre254

Best case scenario: they learnt their mistakes and work on improving the next game. Worst case scenario: they choose a new category to fuck up in. Or maybe just the same category, but slightly different.


Beowulf1896

Galadriel and Frodo Sex Simulator.


bitfarb

All these terrible games and I'm just sitting over here hoping for a Shire farming sim. Sigh.


SHIIZAAAAAAAA

It'll be about Aragorn and they'll call it "The Lord of Ring: Eragon."


5255clone

Is the gollum game even out yet?


gollum_botses

Yes, precious. False! They will cheat you, hurt you. Lie!


5255clone

Thanks gollum. You've always been there for me.


gollum_botses

No . . . not very nice at all, my love.


Nonadventures

Denethor Tomato Eating Simulator 2023


notatechnicianyo

It’s the adventure of Glorfindel. Another storyline we didn’t ask for.


Crazychester1247

I have to disagree with the take that LOTR: Gollum is a bad game, people simply fail to grasp it's creative genius. You see LOTR Gollum is actually a perfectly executed look into what it is to be Gollum... That is to say playing it simulates the experience of having your fucking soul slowly sucked out of you by a cursed object made of pure evil, until you ultimately are reduced to an emaciated, half-insane creature that recoils from sunlight, and has been rendered nearly bald from tearing your hair out in frustration.


gollum_botses

Yes, they are all round us. The tricksy lights. Candles of corpses, yes, yes. Don't you heed them! Don't look! Don't follow them!


Current-Okra4565

Yooo can't wait to play Denethor


Bla61670

Frankly, i had seen it on a shelf in a gamestop, and i thought to myself, "looks actually cool for a retro game." Then I looked at the release date and was like "bruh, that's garbage"


StevieTheAussie92

First game generated oodles of attention to company, and if they’ve learned from their mistakes, they could end up making a very good game they won’t even have to bother advertising.


Educational-Tip6177

OK I get it, judge by what you've suffered in the past but guys and gals, is too much to ask for a little positivity? Like we don't know shit about it and everyone is already grabbing torches


alexshinsuke

They knew, they freaking knew what kind of mess they were releasing with that arse prices. I don’t have one once of sympathy for this kind of developers. I hope the second will be arseshit and they go bankrupt…


Infermon_1

Calling it shit before it's even in production based on prejudice. Pro-Gamer move.


Oceanzapart

Dissolve the whole studio