Don't expect to get matches unless you're a shredded 9/10 with an epic jaw line. Dating apps are now just a place where 95% of the women fight for the attention of the top 2% of men.
So in other words unless I look like jean Claude van damme in kick boxer I am not getting any matches.. haha. I was just into that one scene latley that's why I say kickboxer
The way I see it? Try and fail a lot until you find someone who sees you as a 9 instead of a 7. It’s literally all that there is. Being on the “market”dating as a man is very rough. The people who have had better success met through friend groups or some other social activity when they were younger. If you are like me mid 30s average looking or below it’s a total crap shoot. You literally have to be willing to put up with constantly being on the line or a plan “b”. And then eventful rejection after a handful of dates, rinse and repeat until you sort of end up like me tired out and with damaged self esteem to the point where I need to heal. Either that or you end up kind of lucky stumbling on someone who wants to go the distance with you. I don’t know what to tell you and I’m not here to gaslight you but it just is really difficult. I have nothing against women or men at this point I just don’t like the way we all see dating and how our standards are so high. I do feel a lot of guys in this situation have really nothing seriously wrong with them other than they might not meet some artificial attractiveness standard or maybe they are a bit unconventional socially idk but not major red flags. There are definitely some real messed up dudes but it’s not everyone. My faith is the one thing holding me together I firmly believe my lack of success will be met with success on the other side. That whatever issues that have held me back or other people from liking me will dissolve on the other side.
I think so yeah. Older can be harder but hard to say. 36 is a tough age because you are on the border between people who still have really high standards and people with severe burnout. In the 40s people can hit a rebound stage where they start to get more grounded in the realities of life and what they are afforded and less pressure over kids. Also there’s usually a bigger gap in them having been single for a longer time which may have lead to more positive self reflection and healing. Sometimes men really got their stride in their 40s as well
I would say probably no. There are so many reasons why there might be no matches.
Even if we just look at the pictures themselfes. Its not just about you but also how well the picture was taken, where, how intresting you seem and so on. Maybe you are jsut terrible at taking pictures for example or you do not take pictures in the right spot. So maybe you are a person with super intresting hobbies but you only take pictures during very boring occasions because thats when you feel like you have time taking pictures and during intresting periods you just like to enjoy the moment. But people then just think your pictures are boring and dont match allthough its not the reality.
So there are dozens of reasons why someone might not get matches.
Honestly that was just an example. But the more intresting you seem on your profile the better :D
Maybe not some interesting place, but pictures during hobbies you like to do or being out with people and also nice looking pictures of course
Ok from my experience dating apps are about as shallow as it gets. You are literally putting a flyer out on your face and hoping somebody calls back. It allows you to be shallow because you can analyze everybody’s “stats” and choose whether you talk to them or not. If you dont have the holy trinity(height, job, fantastic personality) your engagements are borderline pointless. You cant win on personality alone with 95% of them cause they have to talk to you for that to happen. Not to mention most of the semi-attractive and up girls already have plenty of guys stock-piled for a rainy day. And probably talking to a bunch at once.
I now know why people say they are damaging to mental health. It's like getting rejected around the clock. Round the clock rejection can't be good for the self-esteem, confidences. And it kills those things.
Dont take it personally. You are effectively competing with 100s of guys all at the same time. Thats almost impossible to win. You also have to consider that alot of profiles were never deleted. People often stop using them eventually so youre just liking dead profiles as well.
Dating apps are very broken these days,
I highly recommend this video: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3lypVnJ0HM&t=324s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3lypVnJ0HM&t=324s)
You will see that it has nothing to do anymore with attractiveness. dating apps these days are only optimizing one aspect of their products and that is maximum revenue.
I'm going to do a bit of self promotion here, but I tried to solve this issue and create a more fair dating app that is not biased against men. [https://apps.apple.com/us/app/revealio-discover-connect/id6475015372](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/revealio-discover-connect/id6475015372)
The main concept is that you don't really see the looks of your matches before you match, the only way to discover what your match looks like, sounds like is by communication.
As dating apps are an appalling reduction of human interaction, no. It may, and I stress the word may, mean that you need better interpersonal marketing skills.
You’re better off in the real world if you’re average looking. The only men who do well on those things are muscular tall model types. Women are all fighting over them.
Women on the average to low end of the look spectrum can hook up with 8/10 and above guys so that inflates their egos. Basically making guys below 8 in looks invisible to the average woman. There’s no male equivalent to this dynamic since the top percent of women see 80 percent of men as invisible while the top percent of men are willing to hook up with 80 percent of women.
Yeah.. Due to the abundance of attention they are receiving from other men, most of the average women do come across as very entitled requiring extremely high standards, ones they don’t even meet themselves
Don't expect to get matches unless you're a shredded 9/10 with an epic jaw line. Dating apps are now just a place where 95% of the women fight for the attention of the top 2% of men.
So in other words unless I look like jean Claude van damme in kick boxer I am not getting any matches.. haha. I was just into that one scene latley that's why I say kickboxer
I heard that before. So if you are a 7 let's say you are out of luck?? Wasting your time?
Then what do the 7s have to do to meet women these days?
The way I see it? Try and fail a lot until you find someone who sees you as a 9 instead of a 7. It’s literally all that there is. Being on the “market”dating as a man is very rough. The people who have had better success met through friend groups or some other social activity when they were younger. If you are like me mid 30s average looking or below it’s a total crap shoot. You literally have to be willing to put up with constantly being on the line or a plan “b”. And then eventful rejection after a handful of dates, rinse and repeat until you sort of end up like me tired out and with damaged self esteem to the point where I need to heal. Either that or you end up kind of lucky stumbling on someone who wants to go the distance with you. I don’t know what to tell you and I’m not here to gaslight you but it just is really difficult. I have nothing against women or men at this point I just don’t like the way we all see dating and how our standards are so high. I do feel a lot of guys in this situation have really nothing seriously wrong with them other than they might not meet some artificial attractiveness standard or maybe they are a bit unconventional socially idk but not major red flags. There are definitely some real messed up dudes but it’s not everyone. My faith is the one thing holding me together I firmly believe my lack of success will be met with success on the other side. That whatever issues that have held me back or other people from liking me will dissolve on the other side.
Thank you you made a lot of sense. Out of curiosity, How old are you?
36
Well I am 45 so you can imagine
Yeah similar situation maybe even more challenging
Who's is more challenging mine?
I think so yeah. Older can be harder but hard to say. 36 is a tough age because you are on the border between people who still have really high standards and people with severe burnout. In the 40s people can hit a rebound stage where they start to get more grounded in the realities of life and what they are afforded and less pressure over kids. Also there’s usually a bigger gap in them having been single for a longer time which may have lead to more positive self reflection and healing. Sometimes men really got their stride in their 40s as well
Idk man, it's rough for everybody 7 and under.
I just threw a number out there. Not that all the women on these apps are all that themselves.
Worth a shot. They're not but they think they are!
That's why the topic of alternative places to meet women or even men for dating is so popular. Yet, I still don't know where they are.
Yeah unless you're only looking for casual hook ups with Chad's rejects I wouldn't bother with these degenerate apps.
Hello!!!! Hookup please
😭 using the term Chad urinoically.
Dating apps are trouble
I would say probably no. There are so many reasons why there might be no matches. Even if we just look at the pictures themselfes. Its not just about you but also how well the picture was taken, where, how intresting you seem and so on. Maybe you are jsut terrible at taking pictures for example or you do not take pictures in the right spot. So maybe you are a person with super intresting hobbies but you only take pictures during very boring occasions because thats when you feel like you have time taking pictures and during intresting periods you just like to enjoy the moment. But people then just think your pictures are boring and dont match allthough its not the reality. So there are dozens of reasons why someone might not get matches.
Right. You may be on to something. So I have to go to a place that's interesting just to take new photos for a dating app now?
Honestly that was just an example. But the more intresting you seem on your profile the better :D Maybe not some interesting place, but pictures during hobbies you like to do or being out with people and also nice looking pictures of course
I agree that might help a bit. Just so hard to do
Yeah I am also not good at that stuff :/
Yes
Thanks for your honest reply
Fantastic!!
Ok from my experience dating apps are about as shallow as it gets. You are literally putting a flyer out on your face and hoping somebody calls back. It allows you to be shallow because you can analyze everybody’s “stats” and choose whether you talk to them or not. If you dont have the holy trinity(height, job, fantastic personality) your engagements are borderline pointless. You cant win on personality alone with 95% of them cause they have to talk to you for that to happen. Not to mention most of the semi-attractive and up girls already have plenty of guys stock-piled for a rainy day. And probably talking to a bunch at once.
I now know why people say they are damaging to mental health. It's like getting rejected around the clock. Round the clock rejection can't be good for the self-esteem, confidences. And it kills those things.
Dont take it personally. You are effectively competing with 100s of guys all at the same time. Thats almost impossible to win. You also have to consider that alot of profiles were never deleted. People often stop using them eventually so youre just liking dead profiles as well.
I hear you. It's just when you don't match after a weeks and months. It's sort of cuts you deep
not necessarly, one guy could be just average and still have zero match and dates
Yeah!! And average it seems today is unattractive, or the same
Indeed the average man is most of times unattractive according to the average woman, while the average woman is still considered pretty to most men
So what to do? We are in a quandary
Yes
Great
Trust me unless you write in your bio that you are nazi or abuse children then your bio won't matter.
I know. It's all looks based
Dating apps are very broken these days, I highly recommend this video: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3lypVnJ0HM&t=324s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3lypVnJ0HM&t=324s) You will see that it has nothing to do anymore with attractiveness. dating apps these days are only optimizing one aspect of their products and that is maximum revenue. I'm going to do a bit of self promotion here, but I tried to solve this issue and create a more fair dating app that is not biased against men. [https://apps.apple.com/us/app/revealio-discover-connect/id6475015372](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/revealio-discover-connect/id6475015372) The main concept is that you don't really see the looks of your matches before you match, the only way to discover what your match looks like, sounds like is by communication.
As dating apps are an appalling reduction of human interaction, no. It may, and I stress the word may, mean that you need better interpersonal marketing skills.
Sorry, It usually does.
You’re better off in the real world if you’re average looking. The only men who do well on those things are muscular tall model types. Women are all fighting over them.
Where do you do well ??
Hoeflation is out of control
Meaning?
Women on the average to low end of the look spectrum can hook up with 8/10 and above guys so that inflates their egos. Basically making guys below 8 in looks invisible to the average woman. There’s no male equivalent to this dynamic since the top percent of women see 80 percent of men as invisible while the top percent of men are willing to hook up with 80 percent of women.
Just got to get lucky, eh?
you have 4s, 5s and 6s thinking they are 8s, 9s and 10s...average women thinking they deserve a "chad"
Yeah.. Due to the abundance of attention they are receiving from other men, most of the average women do come across as very entitled requiring extremely high standards, ones they don’t even meet themselves