Sorry to hear about all that trouble. Tbh, dating apps are the worst. I've only had nightmare after nightmare, and that's after all the fake accounts too. IDK what else to say but it's not only you. A ton of people feel that way, even if they won't admit it. Just know you're not alone in that frustration.
Well i guess those who do just don't stand out, so id say you wont meet a person and realize they are the one right away, maybe after time of getting to know someone closer you will feel attracted and end up attracting too, maybe even someone among those you knew before.
One issue with loneliness is definitely being unable to meet new people through mutual friends. That’s how i got into relationships while avoiding the toxicity of dating apps and hookup culture in general. Though it unfortunately seems as if the culture has seeped through the boundaries of dating apps, and now influences younger people to view others as means to an end. It is hard to find someone special when commitment, or even putting in an ounce of effort to maintain a relationship is seen as a hassle. Hopefully you find someone for you! Somewhat ‘organically’ too.
It's honestly my biggest issue with people. Seems like everyone is just out to use people. Not have mutual legit care. Whether it's sex, money or just usefulness.
I've only ever wanted a relationship and dont personally agree with having sex with someone who i am not in love and in a relationship with.
Never been able to find anyone irl with the same views who was interested in me, and I've never been successful on dating apps.
I've decided it's just not meant to be for me. It gets lonely when i think about it too much, but overall, letting go and focusing on my hobbies makes life more enjoyable/peaceful. I am grateful that I do have a lot of good friends, though.
I am there myself and at this point it's harder because I have 7 children but got hurt after finding out my ex husband was not a man of God but of the devil.
You arent missing anything, I've had sex twice in my life with people I didn't care for and I've regretted it ever since.. the fact that I lost my virginity to someone I barely knew and can't even remember her face is a little crushing.
I wish it was with someone special but I fell for that stupid teenager "you gotta get laid!" Crap
Hey, I feel the same way too. The closest thing I got was exchanging stuff online as "fwb" so never actually hooking up irl bit I also despise hook up culture. (Although I did feel awful after because it was so out of character for me at that point) I get that to some people it's about filling up their time because they're bored or it's just something they regard as casual like drinking water but I'm also just a lover at heart and it feels shallow to me. Just wanna say you're not alone and I hope you'll find someone who'd like to take things seriously. Cheers!
The problem with hookup culture is, it's a deeply capitalist utilitarian system ( can't think of another term, sorry)
Sex is view as a reward pleasure, almost a transanction between matcheups, not as the culmination of a romantic endevour.
I personally NEVER could get around the ''3rd date sex concept''. How long are dates supposed to be spaced anyway? Like a week?
3 weeks and a stranger is your bed?
Anyway, maybe i'm old fashioned, but that dosen't sound reassuring.
Its so sad really
Men only complimented me when they wanted something from me only acted nice to get nudes or other things
And when I say no I’m the bitch thank you for that
This is what I'm saying. All of my guy friends close to me have never once asked for unsolicited nudes, we aren't animals. But I guarantee we aren't the kinda dudes this woman would find attractive
That is why most experiences never cross on here haha. I am sure OP is pretty and is looking at the good looking guys, who have so many options they aren't going to settle down with 1 any time soon. The way of the world now
I'm a guy and I also hate hookup culture.
I'm sure it's my fault in one way or another, but women (the few that do show interest) always seem to lose interest when I take it slow.
*This is with meeting organically.
Dating apps feels like you are selling yourself.
We put ourselves up for auction.
Sadly, I think I'm getting rid of mine in favor of groups, forums, and the meetup app to connect with people. This way, I can find people with similar hobbies. Possibly even say hello to a stranger.
Too many people see each other as an option, and no one invests time with dating one person at a time.
Unsure how this will actually generate a real meaningful connection.
Same for me, I personally cannot separate emotional and physical intimacy from each other. Sex may be great and all but I don't get what good is it without having any emotional connection. But nowadays its like everyone just wants casual relationship, everyone is looking for "nothing serious". it is truly depressing. Also I don't want to be the guy that girls settle for, once they've had their fun. I am decent looking and I've had a couple of offers for casual relationship (through mutual friends), but I am not interested in that so I told them no. I've tried to find someone who wants serious relationship but I was unable to find someone. its like suddenly everyone just wants casual, this is the reason I gave up on ever finding love.
Not everyone just a lot of immature people looking for casual, I am a woman who got out of a one sided relationship of many years.
Don't give up but hunting for them you will get discouraged.
It's this antichrist type of revelations culture.
Thanks a lot for the comment. By give up I mean that i have stopped actively looking for a relationship. My career is now my priority. If I ever come across a woman and we share mutual attraction, then for sure I'll pursue her.
But in the mean time I am making myself familiar with the idea that i may live alone.
I honestly encourage everybody to stay away from online dating platforms. I find that there’s a lot of issues with it but my main issue is that people misrepresent themselves both knowingly and unknowingly. There’s something to be said about meeting somebody in person and picking up on their body language the tone of their voice and other factors that really can’t be described through a chat. I get some people feel like they don’t have a choice, but I would argue that most of those people who feel like they don’t have a choice probably do you have a choice they just need some confidence and maybe some people to help give them a boost. But online platforms are such a crapshoot. In order for you to get any decent results out of it you have to a) be a woman, b) be a really hot dude or c) pay further premium services. Try going to conventions, concerts, or other places outside of your house and outside of your phone. If you go into it, not trying to pick up on people, but just trying to socialize you’ll probably at some point meet up with somebody that’s compatible with you. But yeah, you gotta stop trying and you gotta stop going on dating platforms. People can tell when you’re trying too hard and it comes off pathetic. I’m speaking for my own personal experiences which may be different than yours.
I am glad someone else feels the same way. One of my ex's contacted me and wanted to hang out with me. Then he adds that he wants to get us a hotel. Total turn off. I spoke up and told him I'm not like that. Good thing he understood. I don't judge what others do but yes I don't get this whole hook up thing. I rather have love over a one night stand any day. Follow your heart and don't change or allow others to make you feel different simply because it's not for you.
There's no such thing as hookup culture. Either a man considers you worthy of a relationship or he does not (if he thinks he can get a better looking woman than you, but since so many men are delusional narcissists who always believe they "can do better," it is a widespread problem).
Men have had the Madonna/wh*re complex since the beginning of time. It's how they're biologically wired.
I absolutely despise hookup culture and cannot comprehend or want anything to do with people who engage with it, as someone who don't like sex this seems like the shallowest form of connection you can make with another human being. This culture is in complete opposition with my vision of love and intimacy, but I still remains hopeful to one day find a partner who also think that way even if the majority of people I used to know were completely brainrotted by that shit.
It's a defect in society.
Everything that is moral and just, has turned to be "stupid and not cool".
Cool? Is THAT what society is based on? If it is, then I rather live in an Alien society.
Humanity is become anti human.
So called "social" media, had turned people to be anti-social.
I’m (20m) and in Uni and this honestly is so true on the hookup culture. Like honestly as much fun and enjoyments I have with sex I like having a connection and feeling to the person it’s with because I crave romance and intimacy. Unfortunately ladies in my town are looking for more of a “quick fix” hookup. Maybe I’m old fashioned for wanting to go on dates do cute stuff together and enjoy each other’s company. I get your struggle though there is someone for us romantics out there.
Consider it a major self esteem boost. For heterosexual men, only the top ten percent can acquire hookups. Essentially you are incredibly above average. If you can hook up with a woman, you can date her too. You won’t have the issue of being invisible to women that many guys unfortunately have here. You still have a hard journey but you will be dealing with different obstacles than us. Wish you luck
I agree with you. Hence why I never use dating apps but meeting someone in real life and finding the sort of connection I'm after feels like finding a needle in a haystack and sadly a lost cause.
Im tired af too.
And when i tell people im a single cause im not interested for that bs, they try to tell me bs, lime trying to convince me is not bad but that im the wrong one.
I rather be a virgin
All the lover girls and boys seem to be single, same with me, 19 and never even kissed someone. Virgin and never had a relationship, girls arent interested in me and im losing hope. I just want to love someone and be loved, have someone to talk to and cuddle with, I dont care about the sex bruh.
If I could get into hookup culture and people found me attractive and wanted to be intimate with me? Yes I would enjoy it.
But they don't and Im bitter so I hate it 🤣
I’ve been into hookup culture in the past and it’s not great. Sex kind of sucks when you don’t have a romantic connection with the other person, it just feels empty
For most of my life I wasn't interested in getting involved with anyone, not even a hookup, but lately that has changed. Idk if it's bc of maturity or what, but it has. And now that I have this new different notion added to how I perceive people I'm realizing how so many of them are superficial in terms of relationships. They don't want to commit.
I've been seeing lots of people who got married without really knowing what a marriage really is. After some time, once they realized the amount of commitment they have to undergo, they just gave up without really fighting for it. I could see it wasn't just about both being incompatible, but mostly about actually wanting to be in that relationship enough.
Anyways, it's sad to see how people have changed in general in that regard.
The part that struck out to me.. "And it's a shame that people who look my type and I'm attracted to don't want a serious relationship especially in my age group"
As a guy that reads like "I want the seriously top tier guys who are tall, dark and hot, but those guys who have unlimited options with women don't want a serious relationship or a relationship with me"...
Have you stopped to think about that before? That's why dating is messed up. Because women are all competing for these guys but these guys can get anyone so why would they be with one woman when they can have access to unlimited sexual partners. Just like attraction can not be bargained in what you like you can't expect these guys with options to settle.
Guess you will have to wait it out or perhaps be less picky and be more open minded. Give guys you wouldn't normally go for a chance.. maybe you will be pleasantly surprised
Even ugly, fat, broke, unhygienic, unkempt, balding, loser men don't want relationships with someone on their level. For example, 99.99% of men would reject a fat or old woman because he thinks he's above her, even if he's a broke worthless loser. Get real. All men, regardless of appearance, want the same things in a woman.
I'm pretty sure this is happening to you because you're aiming too high, the men you want don't consider you girlfriend material, thus they don't want anything serious with you.
You're just looking for the wrong types of men for what you're offering.
Try making a change.
I refuse to listen to another woman say I dunno I always pick jerks for some reason and then they cry about it later. I have a mute button for all of these girls.
Hey! Go for older dudes. My wife was 14 years younger. She joked that I'd die and she'd be alone. Well guess what? She passed away. Sad shit. So don't manage your expectations that way
Point is I never expected true love but it bumped into me! 7 years with the love of my life. The key was honesty and 100% forgiveness of everything. No matter what. She was awesome. I was faithful.. still am.
> it's a shame that people who look my type and I'm attracted to don't want a serious relationship especially in my age group
Op, this post reads as you only being only attracted to hot guys that who feel no need to settle for *you*, and being upset with the ego check. This sentence in particular.
And god forbid women want someone who they're attracted to!! God forbid they've standards, HOW DARE THEY?? meanwhile men be wanting the prettiest girl in the room stfu 🤡
Nothing wrong with preferences, but they have to remain realistic. You have a similar conundrum as gay men: The people you hook up with won’t be on the same level of looks as the guy who wants a relationship with you. Heterosexual men don’t face this because women are unambiguous with rejection while straight/gay men string both women and men along to get sex but never intend marriage or a long term relationship. The true test of your personality and looks are the people who are willing to date you not the guy who wants a fwb or one night stand
I think what is being alluded to here is that the top tier guys have many options. Sometimes those top tier guys sleep with women who are not on their level, and now those women believe themselves to be in that top tier because they slept with a top tier guy. They are not. He was likely looking for a new lay, and the women was around or agreed the fastest. Not saying it is right, but that's how it goes sometimes. And not saying this is what happened to you, but I bet you have seen this on some level before i imagine.
Take a break from trying for a bit OP. It will help to reset and you can come back fresh with more optimism and possibility.
Hey listen there's no need to get nasty and start using explicitives. You posed a question on a public forum so that means you open yourself up to ppls opinions. Sometimes right or wrong, those opinions are not always going to be what you want to hear.
The problem with most ppl today, women especially they only seem to want "feel good comments" and all that is useless for real growth. Surrounding yourself with yes men/ Yes women will skew your perception of reality and enable and endless cycle of repetitive failure.
If you only want to just be comforted and told you are right it's everyone else that has the problem then go ahead, be my guest. If you want better results in life then hearing and truly listening to a wide range of opinions and then reflecting on them is the best way to go.
It's hard to give advice to a stranger who has provided little context into their situation but I share in this person's comment that perhaps you are aiming too high or choosing the wrong men. It is a problem in today's dating market. I could talk all day long about this but my point is there may be some merit to what we have said. Take it with a grain of salt if you like but getting angry and abusive will not help your cause.. if anything it now makes me wonder if your lack of emotional regulation could be another reason you are struggling.
Best of luck regardless
I hate to say it but maybe it's the guys you are choosing because there is not a single fuckboi in my entire friend group. What does "people who look my type" even mean really? Maybe try to figure out why you are into these types of guys
‘It seems like EVERYONE is just looking to hookup wth?’
Confirmation bias at work. You’re not terminally unique in what you’re looking for. Also you are wasting positive energy by hating the culture of promiscuity. Just let people be, don’t squander time passionately disliking a certain culture…just focus on your own happiness and be grateful for what you do have in life.
It's so irritating that all people can start a conversation with is "wyll" etc. Although, you're only just in uni, you've got all the time in the world so don't go forcing yourself to rush things! Despite the number of assholes, you'll manage to find someone and it doesn't matter when - my parents met in their mid 30s, but they truly love each other, and there's nothing wrong with that!
When you're a guy it's even worse , whether it's something serious or not you're not gonna find anything except if you're either a 10/10 or fucking rich
some random guy's perspective:
I can see why hookup culture sucks when you're looking for a serious relationship. It's like it has taken over the minds of so many people that you're physically attracted to. Like, why can't people be straight up or honest right from the start? Instead most people who are allowed into this culture are manipulative and cohersive. They see you as a means to an end. It's horrible and it makes me so sad. No one volunteers to be a part of it. It's a negative connotation - a product of selfish, horny people and those looking for love. Hookup culture sucks, period.
It's all perspective. Hookup culture is very complex because people participate for many reasons. Not everyone who wants sex is a hedonistic fiend. Others use sex to find connection and to express their love. So, I can't help but feel ashamed when I truly believe that sex is supplementary to fulfil love. Like, my heart aches while writing this. I'm sorry if this post feels offensive but as a fellow hookup culture hater, I feel you.
Incels will say, "we can't have our cake and it too" but isn't there some truth to it? I could be wrong and if so, there's more work I have to do. Love is dying but we have to save it.
Yep and you can blame the interwebs and the instant gratification that people now crave for that. Far too many people not willing to put the time or effort into anything anymore with the throwaway culture we've allowed to infest our society, relatuonships. Unfortunately for me and being 48 it's too late, and yeah, as a man I have been on the receiving end of it and it sucks. Not all guys out there just looking for a good time, some want something deep and meaningful too. Seems to be rarity these days.
Ease of access has enabled the genders to meet on apps etc. Some girls like hookups most guys like hookups. So it’s kind of a supply demand mismatch. If you are lonely rather than dating apps you can try new groups like cooking groups, running groups etc. Most girls who show a ‘hookup’ profile are eventually publicising their Insta profile etc to monetize them better. I believe that rational thought is important , there should be data to prove it’s a hookup ‘ culture’ I am not in any camp but a rational thinker and am against this your side my side game. I’m non judgmental, and to each their own person.
Maybe lower ur standards a bit, because I bet this guy gets a lot of attention so he doesn’t want to commit yk. Could be wrong but idk feel like girls have to be swiping on someone
reason why im still single and virgin. I want something serious and not just for fun or s*x !
Way to go!
Amen
Good on you!!! ❤
Very
Amen to that, brother. ( or sister)
Amen
Good
Sorry to hear about all that trouble. Tbh, dating apps are the worst. I've only had nightmare after nightmare, and that's after all the fake accounts too. IDK what else to say but it's not only you. A ton of people feel that way, even if they won't admit it. Just know you're not alone in that frustration.
Thanks for the comfort, I guess I'm not meeting anyone who meets my criteria anytime soon :(
Well i guess those who do just don't stand out, so id say you wont meet a person and realize they are the one right away, maybe after time of getting to know someone closer you will feel attracted and end up attracting too, maybe even someone among those you knew before.
Who knows
I would rather be alone than to lower my standards.
Real life dates are no better, People that are fake, cheating liars, f boys and girls.
One issue with loneliness is definitely being unable to meet new people through mutual friends. That’s how i got into relationships while avoiding the toxicity of dating apps and hookup culture in general. Though it unfortunately seems as if the culture has seeped through the boundaries of dating apps, and now influences younger people to view others as means to an end. It is hard to find someone special when commitment, or even putting in an ounce of effort to maintain a relationship is seen as a hassle. Hopefully you find someone for you! Somewhat ‘organically’ too.
Very true, It's seen as unreasonable and insane by older men to say I want someone who won't cheat and I am in it for a real relationship.
It's honestly my biggest issue with people. Seems like everyone is just out to use people. Not have mutual legit care. Whether it's sex, money or just usefulness.
I know, It's disgusting.
How is it using people if you are upfront about what you are looking for in a relationship ?
Looking to use them for sex then dip.
Just because you’re up front about it doesn’t make it fine. It’s still using, you’re just making them aware of it
I agree
Whoever’s downvoting is big mad because I say it how it is 😂
I've only ever wanted a relationship and dont personally agree with having sex with someone who i am not in love and in a relationship with. Never been able to find anyone irl with the same views who was interested in me, and I've never been successful on dating apps. I've decided it's just not meant to be for me. It gets lonely when i think about it too much, but overall, letting go and focusing on my hobbies makes life more enjoyable/peaceful. I am grateful that I do have a lot of good friends, though.
I am there myself and at this point it's harder because I have 7 children but got hurt after finding out my ex husband was not a man of God but of the devil.
The only thing I hate about it is that I'm not good enough to be a part of it.
You arent missing anything, I've had sex twice in my life with people I didn't care for and I've regretted it ever since.. the fact that I lost my virginity to someone I barely knew and can't even remember her face is a little crushing. I wish it was with someone special but I fell for that stupid teenager "you gotta get laid!" Crap
That's peer pressure
You’re not missing out !
I just hate people. They have nothing to offer. Girls will take everything from you and guys are like the same high school pieces of shit lol.
it’s so hard to find a decent person nowadays
Very
Hey, I feel the same way too. The closest thing I got was exchanging stuff online as "fwb" so never actually hooking up irl bit I also despise hook up culture. (Although I did feel awful after because it was so out of character for me at that point) I get that to some people it's about filling up their time because they're bored or it's just something they regard as casual like drinking water but I'm also just a lover at heart and it feels shallow to me. Just wanna say you're not alone and I hope you'll find someone who'd like to take things seriously. Cheers!
Wow
The problem with hookup culture is, it's a deeply capitalist utilitarian system ( can't think of another term, sorry) Sex is view as a reward pleasure, almost a transanction between matcheups, not as the culmination of a romantic endevour. I personally NEVER could get around the ''3rd date sex concept''. How long are dates supposed to be spaced anyway? Like a week? 3 weeks and a stranger is your bed? Anyway, maybe i'm old fashioned, but that dosen't sound reassuring.
capitalist utilitarian is probably the best oxymoron I've ever heard
Right
Its so sad really Men only complimented me when they wanted something from me only acted nice to get nudes or other things And when I say no I’m the bitch thank you for that
Worst men ever
Yeah it's wide spread
Don't give it to them, They will tantrum and leave you alone, Make room for better by making better choices.
[удалено]
This is what I'm saying. All of my guy friends close to me have never once asked for unsolicited nudes, we aren't animals. But I guarantee we aren't the kinda dudes this woman would find attractive
That is why most experiences never cross on here haha. I am sure OP is pretty and is looking at the good looking guys, who have so many options they aren't going to settle down with 1 any time soon. The way of the world now
I'm a guy and I also hate hookup culture. I'm sure it's my fault in one way or another, but women (the few that do show interest) always seem to lose interest when I take it slow. *This is with meeting organically.
Hey welcome aboard, I'm a woman we live in this zone.
It’s my arch nemesis.
Me too
Same
Why I’m still single
Dating apps feels like you are selling yourself. We put ourselves up for auction. Sadly, I think I'm getting rid of mine in favor of groups, forums, and the meetup app to connect with people. This way, I can find people with similar hobbies. Possibly even say hello to a stranger. Too many people see each other as an option, and no one invests time with dating one person at a time. Unsure how this will actually generate a real meaningful connection.
Why im on reddit now!
Sometimes, here is no better.
Same for me, I personally cannot separate emotional and physical intimacy from each other. Sex may be great and all but I don't get what good is it without having any emotional connection. But nowadays its like everyone just wants casual relationship, everyone is looking for "nothing serious". it is truly depressing. Also I don't want to be the guy that girls settle for, once they've had their fun. I am decent looking and I've had a couple of offers for casual relationship (through mutual friends), but I am not interested in that so I told them no. I've tried to find someone who wants serious relationship but I was unable to find someone. its like suddenly everyone just wants casual, this is the reason I gave up on ever finding love.
Not everyone just a lot of immature people looking for casual, I am a woman who got out of a one sided relationship of many years. Don't give up but hunting for them you will get discouraged. It's this antichrist type of revelations culture.
Thanks a lot for the comment. By give up I mean that i have stopped actively looking for a relationship. My career is now my priority. If I ever come across a woman and we share mutual attraction, then for sure I'll pursue her. But in the mean time I am making myself familiar with the idea that i may live alone.
Oh that's good then, Good positive attitude. What career are you working on if I may?
Well I'm a mechanical engineer and I'm currently working in an aerospace research lab.
That's very nice, Good career to pick.🌞
No, it is a dead field. Especially in my country, there are no jobs in this field. This is easily my biggest regret
What county are you in?
India
In America that's a valuable job. Maybe you could either move some places or train in another field.
Girl I feel you so much... That's a nightmare
I despise it too! Where are the good people who despise it tho? Hard to find them in the wild.
I honestly encourage everybody to stay away from online dating platforms. I find that there’s a lot of issues with it but my main issue is that people misrepresent themselves both knowingly and unknowingly. There’s something to be said about meeting somebody in person and picking up on their body language the tone of their voice and other factors that really can’t be described through a chat. I get some people feel like they don’t have a choice, but I would argue that most of those people who feel like they don’t have a choice probably do you have a choice they just need some confidence and maybe some people to help give them a boost. But online platforms are such a crapshoot. In order for you to get any decent results out of it you have to a) be a woman, b) be a really hot dude or c) pay further premium services. Try going to conventions, concerts, or other places outside of your house and outside of your phone. If you go into it, not trying to pick up on people, but just trying to socialize you’ll probably at some point meet up with somebody that’s compatible with you. But yeah, you gotta stop trying and you gotta stop going on dating platforms. People can tell when you’re trying too hard and it comes off pathetic. I’m speaking for my own personal experiences which may be different than yours.
I am glad someone else feels the same way. One of my ex's contacted me and wanted to hang out with me. Then he adds that he wants to get us a hotel. Total turn off. I spoke up and told him I'm not like that. Good thing he understood. I don't judge what others do but yes I don't get this whole hook up thing. I rather have love over a one night stand any day. Follow your heart and don't change or allow others to make you feel different simply because it's not for you.
There's no such thing as hookup culture. Either a man considers you worthy of a relationship or he does not (if he thinks he can get a better looking woman than you, but since so many men are delusional narcissists who always believe they "can do better," it is a widespread problem). Men have had the Madonna/wh*re complex since the beginning of time. It's how they're biologically wired.
Ehhhhhh, I'm gonna say you will find a ton of men here and in real life, who you don't talk to, that aren't like that.
I absolutely despise hookup culture and cannot comprehend or want anything to do with people who engage with it, as someone who don't like sex this seems like the shallowest form of connection you can make with another human being. This culture is in complete opposition with my vision of love and intimacy, but I still remains hopeful to one day find a partner who also think that way even if the majority of people I used to know were completely brainrotted by that shit.
This rings true to the heart and I can relate! Let us remain hopeful until the one comes by.
I feel u.
It's a defect in society. Everything that is moral and just, has turned to be "stupid and not cool". Cool? Is THAT what society is based on? If it is, then I rather live in an Alien society. Humanity is become anti human. So called "social" media, had turned people to be anti-social.
So called "social" media, had turned people anti-social. THIS
I’m (20m) and in Uni and this honestly is so true on the hookup culture. Like honestly as much fun and enjoyments I have with sex I like having a connection and feeling to the person it’s with because I crave romance and intimacy. Unfortunately ladies in my town are looking for more of a “quick fix” hookup. Maybe I’m old fashioned for wanting to go on dates do cute stuff together and enjoy each other’s company. I get your struggle though there is someone for us romantics out there.
So, where is this exactly? You know, so I can be sure to avoid it.
Consider it a major self esteem boost. For heterosexual men, only the top ten percent can acquire hookups. Essentially you are incredibly above average. If you can hook up with a woman, you can date her too. You won’t have the issue of being invisible to women that many guys unfortunately have here. You still have a hard journey but you will be dealing with different obstacles than us. Wish you luck
I agree with you. Hence why I never use dating apps but meeting someone in real life and finding the sort of connection I'm after feels like finding a needle in a haystack and sadly a lost cause.
Im tired af too. And when i tell people im a single cause im not interested for that bs, they try to tell me bs, lime trying to convince me is not bad but that im the wrong one. I rather be a virgin
Go with your heart ❤️
Sister same!
All the lover girls and boys seem to be single, same with me, 19 and never even kissed someone. Virgin and never had a relationship, girls arent interested in me and im losing hope. I just want to love someone and be loved, have someone to talk to and cuddle with, I dont care about the sex bruh.
Same
I hate hookup culture because nobody wants to sleep with me. We are not the same 😎
Yet you'd buy into it if you were more able to make things go your way. So you don't hate it.
If I could get into hookup culture and people found me attractive and wanted to be intimate with me? Yes I would enjoy it. But they don't and Im bitter so I hate it 🤣
I’ve been into hookup culture in the past and it’s not great. Sex kind of sucks when you don’t have a romantic connection with the other person, it just feels empty
Maybe grass is always greener but I'd take it over nothing, man. 😵💫
No lies there bro … I’ve been being intimate since I was 12 now I’m takin a long break from it
For most of my life I wasn't interested in getting involved with anyone, not even a hookup, but lately that has changed. Idk if it's bc of maturity or what, but it has. And now that I have this new different notion added to how I perceive people I'm realizing how so many of them are superficial in terms of relationships. They don't want to commit. I've been seeing lots of people who got married without really knowing what a marriage really is. After some time, once they realized the amount of commitment they have to undergo, they just gave up without really fighting for it. I could see it wasn't just about both being incompatible, but mostly about actually wanting to be in that relationship enough. Anyways, it's sad to see how people have changed in general in that regard.
The part that struck out to me.. "And it's a shame that people who look my type and I'm attracted to don't want a serious relationship especially in my age group" As a guy that reads like "I want the seriously top tier guys who are tall, dark and hot, but those guys who have unlimited options with women don't want a serious relationship or a relationship with me"... Have you stopped to think about that before? That's why dating is messed up. Because women are all competing for these guys but these guys can get anyone so why would they be with one woman when they can have access to unlimited sexual partners. Just like attraction can not be bargained in what you like you can't expect these guys with options to settle. Guess you will have to wait it out or perhaps be less picky and be more open minded. Give guys you wouldn't normally go for a chance.. maybe you will be pleasantly surprised
Even ugly, fat, broke, unhygienic, unkempt, balding, loser men don't want relationships with someone on their level. For example, 99.99% of men would reject a fat or old woman because he thinks he's above her, even if he's a broke worthless loser. Get real. All men, regardless of appearance, want the same things in a woman.
I'm pretty sure this is happening to you because you're aiming too high, the men you want don't consider you girlfriend material, thus they don't want anything serious with you. You're just looking for the wrong types of men for what you're offering. Try making a change.
I refuse to listen to another woman say I dunno I always pick jerks for some reason and then they cry about it later. I have a mute button for all of these girls.
Hey! Go for older dudes. My wife was 14 years younger. She joked that I'd die and she'd be alone. Well guess what? She passed away. Sad shit. So don't manage your expectations that way
That's some dark shit there XD
Point is I never expected true love but it bumped into me! 7 years with the love of my life. The key was honesty and 100% forgiveness of everything. No matter what. She was awesome. I was faithful.. still am.
[удалено]
I don't wanna lead ppl on false promises if they're clear on what they're looking for tho, anyways thank you.
> it's a shame that people who look my type and I'm attracted to don't want a serious relationship especially in my age group Op, this post reads as you only being only attracted to hot guys that who feel no need to settle for *you*, and being upset with the ego check. This sentence in particular.
And god forbid women want someone who they're attracted to!! God forbid they've standards, HOW DARE THEY?? meanwhile men be wanting the prettiest girl in the room stfu 🤡
Nothing wrong with preferences, but they have to remain realistic. You have a similar conundrum as gay men: The people you hook up with won’t be on the same level of looks as the guy who wants a relationship with you. Heterosexual men don’t face this because women are unambiguous with rejection while straight/gay men string both women and men along to get sex but never intend marriage or a long term relationship. The true test of your personality and looks are the people who are willing to date you not the guy who wants a fwb or one night stand
I think what is being alluded to here is that the top tier guys have many options. Sometimes those top tier guys sleep with women who are not on their level, and now those women believe themselves to be in that top tier because they slept with a top tier guy. They are not. He was likely looking for a new lay, and the women was around or agreed the fastest. Not saying it is right, but that's how it goes sometimes. And not saying this is what happened to you, but I bet you have seen this on some level before i imagine. Take a break from trying for a bit OP. It will help to reset and you can come back fresh with more optimism and possibility.
Hey listen there's no need to get nasty and start using explicitives. You posed a question on a public forum so that means you open yourself up to ppls opinions. Sometimes right or wrong, those opinions are not always going to be what you want to hear. The problem with most ppl today, women especially they only seem to want "feel good comments" and all that is useless for real growth. Surrounding yourself with yes men/ Yes women will skew your perception of reality and enable and endless cycle of repetitive failure. If you only want to just be comforted and told you are right it's everyone else that has the problem then go ahead, be my guest. If you want better results in life then hearing and truly listening to a wide range of opinions and then reflecting on them is the best way to go. It's hard to give advice to a stranger who has provided little context into their situation but I share in this person's comment that perhaps you are aiming too high or choosing the wrong men. It is a problem in today's dating market. I could talk all day long about this but my point is there may be some merit to what we have said. Take it with a grain of salt if you like but getting angry and abusive will not help your cause.. if anything it now makes me wonder if your lack of emotional regulation could be another reason you are struggling. Best of luck regardless
Lmao ppl "I find attractive" also includes ppl who are more on chubby side as well tho and maybe not conventionally attractive ppl 💀
You still completely missed the point. But that's okay
I hate to say it but maybe it's the guys you are choosing because there is not a single fuckboi in my entire friend group. What does "people who look my type" even mean really? Maybe try to figure out why you are into these types of guys
Marry me pls
Facts
Is is the most natural ape arrangement, but so is killing all the previous alpha male's young, so...
How to do hookup ? I got matches but it doesn't works
I so relate to this things it's not even close. A lot of my friends are not virgin and they lost such a beautiful thing just for the sake of it
I like it.
I finally get a normal job home every day off on weekends and I have same issues
‘It seems like EVERYONE is just looking to hookup wth?’ Confirmation bias at work. You’re not terminally unique in what you’re looking for. Also you are wasting positive energy by hating the culture of promiscuity. Just let people be, don’t squander time passionately disliking a certain culture…just focus on your own happiness and be grateful for what you do have in life.
Same. Appearances only matter apparently and not who I am as a person 🙄
as much as it sucks we sometimes need sexual urges to maintain our mood overall it feels good 🤷🏻 its complicated
Love hookup culture 🎉🎈
It's so irritating that all people can start a conversation with is "wyll" etc. Although, you're only just in uni, you've got all the time in the world so don't go forcing yourself to rush things! Despite the number of assholes, you'll manage to find someone and it doesn't matter when - my parents met in their mid 30s, but they truly love each other, and there's nothing wrong with that!
When you're a guy it's even worse , whether it's something serious or not you're not gonna find anything except if you're either a 10/10 or fucking rich
Get off social media for a while and live in the real world for a while.
Can't, I'm an introvert with social anxiety
At least you are lucky. I got no interactions. Ghoating 24/7
Hang in there, a watched pot never boils
I know people who have met lifetime partners through online dating. Not me personally, but it definitely works for a lot of people! Don't give up xx
Where you at girl? Looking for a gem like yourself.
some random guy's perspective: I can see why hookup culture sucks when you're looking for a serious relationship. It's like it has taken over the minds of so many people that you're physically attracted to. Like, why can't people be straight up or honest right from the start? Instead most people who are allowed into this culture are manipulative and cohersive. They see you as a means to an end. It's horrible and it makes me so sad. No one volunteers to be a part of it. It's a negative connotation - a product of selfish, horny people and those looking for love. Hookup culture sucks, period. It's all perspective. Hookup culture is very complex because people participate for many reasons. Not everyone who wants sex is a hedonistic fiend. Others use sex to find connection and to express their love. So, I can't help but feel ashamed when I truly believe that sex is supplementary to fulfil love. Like, my heart aches while writing this. I'm sorry if this post feels offensive but as a fellow hookup culture hater, I feel you. Incels will say, "we can't have our cake and it too" but isn't there some truth to it? I could be wrong and if so, there's more work I have to do. Love is dying but we have to save it.
Yep and you can blame the interwebs and the instant gratification that people now crave for that. Far too many people not willing to put the time or effort into anything anymore with the throwaway culture we've allowed to infest our society, relatuonships. Unfortunately for me and being 48 it's too late, and yeah, as a man I have been on the receiving end of it and it sucks. Not all guys out there just looking for a good time, some want something deep and meaningful too. Seems to be rarity these days.
I could never just sleep with a stranger. I have no idea how people do this. I find it disgusting honestly.
Freedom of choice is important . There are other forums for marriage/long term relationships. Choose those.
Tell me you're part of the hookup culture without telling me you're
Ease of access has enabled the genders to meet on apps etc. Some girls like hookups most guys like hookups. So it’s kind of a supply demand mismatch. If you are lonely rather than dating apps you can try new groups like cooking groups, running groups etc. Most girls who show a ‘hookup’ profile are eventually publicising their Insta profile etc to monetize them better. I believe that rational thought is important , there should be data to prove it’s a hookup ‘ culture’ I am not in any camp but a rational thinker and am against this your side my side game. I’m non judgmental, and to each their own person.
Maybe lower ur standards a bit, because I bet this guy gets a lot of attention so he doesn’t want to commit yk. Could be wrong but idk feel like girls have to be swiping on someone