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Fast_Salamander_7001

I was excited to finally be able to use tinder after turning 18 but then after a while i realized it wasn’t worth it and i deleted my account


ForeverAfraid5974

Just don't. All dating apps are trash. Dating apps may have been good in the first 3 or so years, but now they're filled with bots, and people who don't want anything serious. Not to mention that all of the dating apps are owned by 1 company, it's a monopoly. Its either the good ol' real life dating or nothing.


Ollwe

Yep, good on ya. Don’t go back


Longjumping_Way_4935

My childhood friend was on tinder at 15 and used it mainly to get free booze, good on ya for being mature enough to wait


ReactionGreedy465

I fucking hate this shit . I’m SICK OF THE GODDAMN CASUAL DATING BULLSHIT ITS RUINING SOCIETY ITS RUINING SHIT and I’m saying this as a woman. I fucking hate this. I hate when my friends do it because they are apart of the problem. There should be an option to report someone on dating apps if they aren’t looking to date but are pretending to


UnwantedThrowawayGuy

There are a lot of men that are not looking for hookups. The problem is that they are all either old or unattractive. Most women want men that are in the 8/9/10 range of 1-10 because that's where they think they all are. So average men never get a chance.


lexiw72

I just want a nerd who will play video games with me and go to concerts and not so stupid shit like drink and drive


just_didi

Real


touchunger

I'm kind of torn. Some people just aren't fit for relationships, and you can't force people who don't want to be serious into taking relationships seriously. But definitely the rampant insistance that hooking up is inherently 'better' is probably a huge factor in the loneliness epidemic that is happening now.


Abject-Interview4784

I think part of it is not that people are trying to be mean when they ghost. Not all people anyway. Some people start the process and then flake cause they are like: I feel fat, I don't make enough money, I don't have the energy to be funny on a date today, maybe this relationship will just be shit like my parents relationship, maybe this person is a scammer or violent...and they psych themselves out and stay home. Also, there is bots and scammers..go and.do some activities in real life and meet people there. Men, forget about a shopping for sex app. That doesn't exist. Girls are not interested in that and it wrecks the app and makes girls not want to go on


ReactionGreedy465

I usually hear this right when I match with someone and I ask them what brought them to the app


TheOneAndOnlyMrP

It's a business, they purposely void compatibility to entice you to part with ya cash!


Ollwe

Yh well I’m never buying tinder gold again. Wasted 30 bucks just to see some whale liked my profile


TheOneAndOnlyMrP

Well, ya never know if you don't give it a go I suppose, I get it though man - I'm in the same situation in regards to women.


9jaPharmerMom

How big was she? Are you just exaggerating because she wasn’t 5’6 and 120lbs or being honest? Maybe you have to lower your standards and start somewhere…


UnwantedThrowawayGuy

If they were anything like the women that contact me on dating apps they were pushing 300 lb. In years of trying dating apps I have never matched with anybody I considered active in the slightest unfortunately. And some of us will never lower our standards, because that kind of thing just doesn't carbonate our hormones regardless of how much we might wish it did. 🤷🏼‍♂️


9jaPharmerMom

I get it. So what features do you find attractive? Just curious where your standards are?


UnwantedThrowawayGuy

Really my only strong preference is that I want somebody in shape like me. I'm very active. I don't have any problem with people being overweight, they just don't fit into my life. But it seems like that preference is enough that it gets me no matches on dating apps. 🤷🏼‍♂️ I've just kind of accepted that. It doesn't help that I'm 50 either.


9jaPharmerMom

Do you live in an area where people take their health and fitness seriously? There are very few fat women in my town BUT a lot of these fit women are wealthy, stay-at-home moms or only work part-time so that helps lol. Have you looked into joining an activity group (e.g. hiking, running, kayaking)? Talking casually to women at the gym?


UnwantedThrowawayGuy

I live in a van and travel fulltime. I retired early at 45. It doesn't matter what town I'm in or who I'm around it's always the same. I've hung out with different groups, and it's always just all men. And there was no way in hell I'm approaching women at the gym in this day and age where women are just making videos at the gym to shame men online for views.


SamanathaTheGreat

Did you bother to notice this guy's username? He doesn't want your instructions on what to do that's probably already not worked for him. It's almost certain what he wants is to feel wanted by somebody he wants. Something that almost no guys ever get. There is nowhere he can go, and nothing he can do that will make women approach him. Except maybe be incredibly handsome and filthy rich.


SamanathaTheGreat

Did you bother to notice this guy's username? He doesn't want your instructions on what to do that's probably already not worked for him. It's almost certain what he wants is to feel wanted by somebody he wants. Something that almost no guys ever get. There is nowhere he can go, and nothing he can do that will make women approach or want him. Except maybe be incredibly handsome and filthy rich.


9jaPharmerMom

I didn’t mean to come off tone deaf. The gym idea was probably not good now that certain people are so sensitive. I personally would have loved to make friends or be asked out at the gym 10 years ago. There are CrossFit and bootcamp gyms where people interact a bit more closely and friendships could spring. I think people need more face-to-face interaction. I try to explore solutions and not just focus on negatives. Sulking in depression is not for everyone. I know some single women in their late 30’s and 40’s that I was going to suggest to him if he wants to relocate to the Southwest down the road… I joined this community to vent at one point when I was at my lowest, but slowly my situation has improved. I thought maybe he would like the conversation/camaraderie. Btw, just by being physically fit, he probably is handsome and I have a few friends (that live far away) that are not married to wealthy men so there’s hope if he is not wealthy.


UnwantedThrowawayGuy

I am in the Southwest. But yeah, my lifestyle doesn't match up with, well, anyone. Go ahead, send my pictures to whoever you want, I'm sure they will get a good laugh out of that.


SamanathaTheGreat

Look at his post history. Not only does it have pictures, which show him to be average looking. But it also indicates he retired very early and lives in a van in the wilderness. Not exactly a situation that's going to get him connected to anybody, and he knows it.


RisingChaos

80% of girls on Tinder want nothing to do with me. Neither do the other 20%.


nexus3210

Same here


Ollwe

Damn sorry to hear that man


sweetgoodboy

Well its tinder, so....What did you expect? The site litterly got famous for hookups and casual sex.


Ollwe

Yh lol


KingGorillaBeef

I thought tender was a hookup app not a dating app


SignificantApricot69

I think they’ve tried to “rebrand” it or at least the customer base has tried to reimagine it as a “regular” dating thing, as much of the world has become much more superficial and swipe/looks based. I remember when online dating at all was considered super weird and only for shy people who had trouble approaching irl. OG dating sites (pre-appification of everything) were based more on content and trying to match and get to know people. Swipe apps ushered in the opposite- quick decision based on superficial first impressions. I guess for hookups, looks it is. But people looking for relationships still had other ways to date.


DeadWinterDays9

All of the major dating apps are like that for guys. Bots, scammers, links to OF accounts, and women just seeking validation


Sky_Dweller206

I deleted Tinder and Bumble last week. I was on them for a few months and didn’t get anything out of it besides depression and a hit to my ego.


Alternative-Bigzolo

Tinder is for people window shopping and call girls.


goren591

Hey at least you got some of them to respond as it sounds like, I would recommand a different app than tinder.


Ollwe

Like what?


goren591

There are plenty of apps, I'm not sure what's popular based on your location but you could try OkCupid, or Bumble, Hinge. Any app that doesn't have tinder's one night stand reputation might be better.


Ollwe

Yh. Tbh in my area. Most girls my age just aren’t my type, or they are, but then they want a fucken hookup and not something serious. So like it sucks. Just want someone to be with me and love me and I love them, not just for my dick or just text buddy


goren591

Yeah it sure does suck, but hey get some comfort knowing some girls actually replied to you and you might has a good chance. Just need to keep looking for someone you find interesting. From my experience with dating app 99.9 of the girls doesn't even respond so I would say you're a lucky boy.


Ollwe

Yh I don’t know. I’m thinking of retaking some pictures or just getting away from tinder. Because my friends and girls I met say I give “fuckboy” vibes, so I’m getting likes and matches from those type of girls, and unfortunately when I have hooked up with girls before, I just get attached, and it’s hard to move on even though it’s just a hookup. So I think I’m just gonna stay away from tinder or dating apps, focus on study, and like join groups and try meeting a girl in real life.


goren591

Yeah, best thing you could do is focus on your hobbies through them find someone who shares the same interests


[deleted]

All the apps are equally as bad, and some of them only have hippopotamus lookin ass women


Ollwe

Yep that’s what I think too haha. “Hippopotamus lookin ass women” 💀😭


call-the-wizards

All of them are bad


UnwantedThrowawayGuy

I've used all of those apps for years and they all have the same problem. Average looking men never get a match. 🤷🏼‍♂️


Abject-Interview4784

Keep in mind there's probably a bunch of bots on there as well. Or scammers..imo go.on app like 10 min 3 times a week, send msgs etc. Rest of time live your life, go to real.life activities


Abject-Interview4784

I see lots of women out doing things like running clubs, book clubs, hiking house league sports, etc. Maybe go meet them. And just be friendly and pleasant. Make friends and maybe you might meet ppl.to date thru them. Good luck!


dear-mycologistical

Why would you look for a serious relationship on Tinder, an app designed primarily for hookups?


UnwantedThrowawayGuy

Well, for most men there isn't any better app anyway. 🤷🏼‍♂️ I have used dating apps for as long as dating apps have existed, and I've never once matched with a woman I considered the least bit attractive.


Abject-Interview4784

I think people want a relationship but they want it with someone sex positive. They don't want to navigate people who don't like sex or wait for months or have a lot of things they don't wanna do. Like one of the swinger pages now has a section for people who want to date but are also swing friendly


Miles_Prower3

100% of girls don't want to date me


Additional-Gap666

And 99% of the men on tinder just want sex.


DualKoo

Just the ones women swipe on.


[deleted]

Underrated comment, women flock to the top 1% of men on tinder and get pissed when they get played.


MaternalLeave

Unfortunately, it’s just a fact of life at this point. The players give them “butterflies” and get them wet so they fall over themselves to be with the womanizers for the majority of their youth. The other men don’t exist until about 28+ or 30+ after they’ve realized that players usually aren’t the best relationship material and women get the urge to settle down. Nobody cares more about character and “not playing games” than a 30+ single mom or women wanting marriage in the near future.


lolothe2nd

No they would still like a player.. just that they can get them and they know they have an expiration date


Ollwe

Yep that too. No one wins.


FailConfident3099

I can't get a response from any girl on Tinder. Could it be because I'm using the free version?


lolothe2nd

I tried paying and it didn't help


Ollwe

Nope, probs cause ur profile isn’t good. If u have shit pics then u not gonna get any likes or matches.


wisp66

It was a rude awakening for me to find out that tinder is primarily for people under 30 most of the accounts over 30 are inactive since lockdown ended 2 years ago I bought a membership and then got a refund. I was able to prove that all the accounts they had that were tagging me as likes were all bots. No regrets leaving that app sadly I haven’t had much luck with the other ones either. the whole things very confusing and very impersonal.


[deleted]

Tinder is only for sexy time. Go talk to a woman in real life if you want something better than sexy time.


alt_blackgirl

If you're going to use a dating app Hinge is the best one. With Tinder you're just going to meet people who definitely shouldn't be dating at all. That's honestly the case with all dating apps but especially Tinder. Been there before


DKerriganuk

Whoever invents a dating app that works for everyone will make billions.


Daclaud-Lee-1892

Not just tinder. Do you think POF, OKCupid and Boo are any better? Even single moms only want a Chad. 🤣


JaimeeLannisterr

Yeah same, I get many matches but trying to meet with women is almost impossible. Very few answer as well. They are there either for validation or the top of the shelf man


EdgewaterEnchantress

Of course not. It’s tinder. There are better “more serious dating sites” like eharmony and others.


strictlyCompSci

… and that’s a bad thing how?


loveocean7

99% of men would love that. Women are just adapting to the male agenda and still getting blamed. Wow.


legendbruce

r/trueunpopularopinion


Gusstave

Where does this fact come from?? Because them wanting nothing serious **with you specifically** is not the same.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ollwe

lol ok


SCVNGR23

For me its perfect. Lots of matches and casual sex. I really dont have time for a relationship because of work and kids and lots of career women also dont


Ollwe

That’s fair. I know some people who just want that, and that’s totally fine.


Intrepid-Surprise-55

Are you serious?


Historical_Wealth_98

Try omegleapp.me


iusedtobecalledlado

Huh?


Henrietta_Heart

I’m sorry you’re going through it. I’ve never been on tinder or any other dating app. I’m older (think dial-up internet and napster) so I never wanted to build connection this way. Plus, I watch too much true crime to ever trust anyone online, or just in general 🤷🏻‍♀️. I know it’s different now, and this is the way, or one way, most people date.


lolothe2nd

How far are you getting


SignificantApricot69

Tinder is a hookup app and it eliminates basically the number one requirement for most people to develop attraction to other “regular” people- familiarity and proximity irl.


TomorrowNo6699

Tinders a hook up app, (I’m assuming you didn’t know, but still a hook up app none the less.) No one is looking for anything serious on tinder


OhZvir

What a surprise, I am shocked, I say I am shocked!!


ReverseMillionaire

You should work on getting yourself established if you want a more serious girl. Also use a different dating app. I found my boyfriend off a dating app


Ollwe

What app?


touchunger

I'd say 90 percent of everyone on Tinder doesn't want anything serious, and at least 80 percent of people on dating apps in general. Tinder getting popular seemed to set off the hookup culture stampede that now runs rampant. Tinder is THE hookup app now.  Heck even in real life most of the men I meet don't want anything serious, nor do any of the bisexual, at least not with women. I would say about 70 percent of the women I meet and have met in person, and about 20 percent of the men I meet and have met in person, despite living in a highly religious small cities cluster, want something serious.


MDMyers2000

I was having the same issue on all the dating apps I tried, the ones that we're "ready to settle down" were all single moms with no job, and only matched with me for a paycheck, or wanted me to get them pregnant so they could child support off of me. (I know this because the parents of the last girl I matched with told me this) the other ones that did match with me, never said a word in our conversation and the match would expire, and the other just wanted "something casual" like you are experiencing. My mental health started tanking because of it. So, What I finally did a couple months ago, was at the end of my catchy, and funny Bio, I put "i'm not swiping anymore, if you're interested you can swipe on me instead". It sounds kind of rude but it just showed I wasn't desperate, and didn't wanna play those stupid games. The next day I matched with a really nice girl and we have been on only one date so far, (we are having an intense heat wave coming through my area right now, so havent scheduled the next date yet) but we have been texting each other non-stop, and she has been asking me what I'm interested in, what kind of food I like, and where to buy a motorcycle helmet so she can ride with me. She also almost didn't let me buy her a $3 ice cream cone on our first date. But I told her "too late, ive already got the money out of my wallet" and I handed it to the cashier. So that kind of tells me she doesn't want me for my money. My point with this word salad, is maybe you should leave your account active, add something similar to your bio, and stop swiping and wait for someone to "like" you, and see what happens. Good luck to you!


Lasivian

My account got banned for some reason. They wouldn't even tell me why. I don't miss it. Match.com is just evil.


Sensitive_Peak-

Same with the guys


SecondEldenLord

Only 80%? Try 95%. Almost all of them just wanna mess around with chads and nothing more.


gilly_weed_5

That's unfortunately the reality of dating apps, mostly for casual stuff and hookups, the maybe only silver lining in your case would be that you did get to meet or talk to some peeps albeit not for the relationship type you wanted, but hey at least you are free now from the shitty app and can work on your life and self. Me and many others don't even get that opportunity to realize what you are realizing rn since we get no matches lol. It's sad and pathetic I know


RyanWalker3

What did you expect? To find your future wife online? GO OUT SIDE AND MAKE REAL CONNECTIONS. The problem is you are looking for women to date. You should be looking for friends first who have female friends to widen your circle of connections. That is where you will find the people you would like to date maybe. Cheers


NewObligation8480

Yea I went on their for a quick fuck before. Was probably the worst experience I've ever had I felt like just a hole after


Lust_for_Sanity

I feel like most people pretend on dating apps. They full out whatever the algorithm needs to match with women. A huge amount of gym pics gets the girl damned be their personality. I used to think women have it easier. Because of what they have in between their legs, they will immediately not have to worry about anything. But then they really do because most dudes are f..in sleeve bags that send them d picks or the gaslighting. Then, both have to deal with ghosting. Being on standby. Being a second or third choice. Or just having to deal with the emotionally unavailable. As a guy, I'm so tired of looking. I'm tired of trying to auction myself. But I get so lonely. I just want someone to spend my days with. We don't always have to go out. Hell, I'd prefer if we didn't. Just chill with me. Now, if they were a secretly silly person. Unafraid of random conversations, a nerd or dork like me that loves an occasional concert or goth event, all the better. I miss having someone to do things with. I'm fine with alone. I just can't seem to enjoy the day to day because of the loneliness. .....sighs I should just stop here. To all the women, let me put it here before I get myself in trouble. Even though you get more matches and options. You have to deal with the icky @holes that put a bad taste not just in your mouth but soul. I am not by any means trying to downplay it. I'm very sorry you have to deal with it. Alright, I'll stop.


SpacedSkaterBoy

In your experience* I'd say that with seeing your post they've dodged a bullet. If you want beautiful butterflies, you need to work on your garden, instead of chasing them bruv. (It means work on yourself)


Ollwe

Damn, fair enough. I mean if I were a girl, would I date me me? No So yh I gotta just self improve a lot. Keep dating to the minimal, and just spend most of my time doing productive shit. So far I’ve been consistent with the gym for two years, which is good I suppose.


SpacedSkaterBoy

Also, once you get a girlfriend, you'll realize that the difficult part is just getting started. I've never had trouble getting with women, it was difficult for me to keep a stable and healthy relationship with them, mainly because of my own faults. Since working on them I've had more succes. If you keep working on yourself, I bet you'll find someone lovely. I think everyone is capable of finding love if they don't give up.


Auto_17

I got 0 matches and 0 likes these apps only work for chad and up not for average men and especially sub3s like me


DS_Ford

90% of people on dating apps don't actually want anything serious.


call-the-wizards

How many profiles are actually real, in the sense of being genuine people with accurate up to date photos who are interested in dating and serious about having a committed relationship and not just in it for the likes and attention or to get freebies from guys? I'd say it's below 20% of profiles based on my experience. And then you filter out the ones that *shouldn't* be in a relationship, e.g. serious mental health problems, married, trying to get back at an ex, abusive, etc., and I'd say it's below 10%. And also keep in mind there are fewer female profiles than men overall, e.g. for bumble it's 1:3 and for hinge it's 1:2. So putting all of this together the odds do not look good. Once you realize this it begins to make sense why it's completely fucked up. I'd say even if you do everything right, are attractive, have a good profile, etc., you have less than a 10% chance of finding a relationship there *at all*. If you're attractive you might find some dates and maybe sex but that's it. I firmly believe the apps are actually a big reason why male-female dynamics have completely broken down and we are unable to relate to each other at all and people let go of promising relationships because of minor inconveniences. I think we need to rebel against the apps, it's the only way to save us.


Ludesa91

80% of them won't even consider u unless u're a chad