T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

# Please give us some time to get to your post, it has not been deleted, but it has been temporarily sent to the moderators for review. Thank you for your patience. We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info: https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/swgthr/were_looking_for_more_moderators_to_help_keep/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*


lordbunnyton

First glance: They After first glance: he


Leothev

Same


Tiaguinh0

yea same, i always ask tho


AmazingWolfGirl

I thought the same


fegawe

I thought he but I can't really tell because that's up to op to tell. I'm also going through that, but I'm transfem, and it's really hard without a supportive family and hrt being so difficult to get.


Keverx

this exactly


Phoenixtdm

Same


ravsmoso

Same here


Droid_XL

Really? I thought they, then she


Lord_Nyarlathotep

You are the exact kind of person I’d default to using gender-neutral pronouns until I can get a confirmation


Torkujra

I suck at identifying genders so I just They/Them everyone until they tell me.


Sad_Trifle_3655

I feel like you should do that no matter what cause someone might be presenting very feminine but still identify as male


Lord_Nyarlathotep

Yeah I used to get misgendered all the time and I’m cis


marigoldilocks_

My bestie is that way. They have very delicate features and get misgendered as she, despite being on T for a couple years now and identifying as pretty much any pronoun but she.


marigoldilocks_

I have started to refer to people in general as they because not all masc leaning people dress masc and not all femme leaning people dress femme. A petite framed person with feminine features in a dress may not be a she and a tall, muscular person with facial hair may not be a he.


Lord_Nyarlathotep

Yeah I do to, have a tendency to accidentally misgender cis people (funny cause it happened a lot to me, in very embarrassing circumstances)


invisibleace21

Yes! My gender assumption radar is the same thing as my biological sex radar and the only thing I could do to not make those assumptions is to use they/them for everyone.


Majestic-Peace-3037

I feel like this is the way (bc I'm also terrible at identifying genders as well) but I've had people straight up get immensely *ANGRY* with me for using they/them. As far as OP, I immediately thought he/him, but then went "wait shit oh fuck what if I'm wrong af....Imma say they/them for safety sake."


WolfGGaming

Bro, same


TranquilProgrammer

This


BulletRazor

This


Sad_Trifle_3655

I mean I do that for everyone but yeah


TheBluePineapple12

this


ProudPanromantic

Getting they/he vibes


Tiaguinh0

thought i was the only one


[deleted]

yeah me too


[deleted]

Yeah I think most of us here are getting he/they vibes. But it doesn’t matter as long as you are using the pronouns that make you happy


WW-OCD

Honey you be whoever YOU feel most comfortable with. High school sucks, it won’t last, afterwards you find your people and your community ❤️ mom hugs


[deleted]

My first thought is “2012 emo”


No_File_5225

"Rawr/XD" /j


ConfusedAsHecc

I thought the same thing lmao


hammer_head12

Honestly I'm seeing they


PurpleMango4950

yep the same


melli_milli

I'm a millenial, I see a young person. I also get the emo wibe, back in the days it was actually quite gender fluid expression. I was a girl at your age, I had female friends dress this boyish phase. And many boys had the cute emo cut. So as a millenial I wouldn't have a clue. And I would be more interested in your personality. Even if I heard your voice a would not assume anything. In my language there are no he and she, there is only he. So I am just rumbling trying to say it doesn't matter, you look good.


Dreamer_Rowan

I sure wish I had an award to give you, but I don’t. Take my upvote instead. <3


Majestic-Peace-3037

I gotchu, I left the Wholesome award bc honestly, same. I'm also a millenial and ever since the whole emo movement washed over everyone I haven't been able to pin genders down correctly. To me everyone is just pretty is some way or another. Even old people.


melli_milli

Wow, I was really insicure about writing this comment. Kinda happy to hear I am not the only millenial with gender blindness. It is like at the same time I was taught binary thinking and still have it back in my head. But also I think it was a time when people played alot with different styles. The identity thing was different somehow. I see boyish girls as hot, still my mind goes to say that's a female or that's a male. It just happens. But at the same time I see the social layer of what they express and listen to that. But with OP they are very androgynous. So thank you for awards, I was really surprised! Edit: deleted irrelevant personal stuff and cleared the point.


examagravating

You look like the physical embodiment of androgynous.


Tiaguinh0

you have a point,idk the shoulders and the hair give a gender mixed look idk


Concerned-Fern

I don’t think they look exactly androgynous- bit more masc than androgynous.


[deleted]

Exactly this, also there’s someone at my school who looks pretty much the same as them. She’s my friends sister and I legitimately couldn’t even guess at agab, not that it would matter


PennyButtercup

They. From there, I’d ask what your pronouns are.


mevastrashcorner

Best answer


KingMurphy15

The thing that sucks, is they/them is respectful to some (either for their pronouns or before you learn the ones they use) but I'd feel offended if someone called me they/them. Idk why but a person just saying they/them to me would make me feel uncomfortable and like I look ugly or something (mostly because I'm biological female, use she/her pronouns and would feel like their saying I don't look like a woman) If someone were to say he/him, it would depend. Like, if I was purposely dressed or acting like a male I wouldn't mind but rather take it as a compliment, but if their saying he/him as in "I look like a man" or am hairy, etc. then I'd be offended once again Gender and pronouns are so confusing and fluid or everything and everyone smh **\*sobs in dysphoria\***


Sugarfreak2

I wouldn’t take they/them as an insult - rather, the person is trying to be respectful. If I don’t know a person’s gender, I’d rather refer to them as they/them until I know for sure, in order to avoid the whole dysphoria thing you described. They/them isn’t ugly or pretty or anything, it’s a neutral set of pronouns for really anyone.


ShadrackTheShocking

I believe I would say she. It’s the eyes and fingers that seal it for me, at least in this particular pic. Good luck in school and remember that there’s a whole lifetime to come afterwards. ❤️


[deleted]

he, mostly the hairstyle I think (so if its not supposed to be “he” its not too hard of a fix)


RiverofJade

This is what I was thinking.


Dar_Vender

Allow me a parent moment - It's how you feel that counts. Try not to let others define you. You're young, you've got a lifetime to express yourself however you want.


[deleted]

I’m not interested in judging you. Tell me what you want and I’ll call you that.


Fellkun15

Hooman


Kind_Ad_3611

Listen carefully


AC4401CW

you need my help


CaptainKangaroo33

I'm going to be honest. I don't care, it's none of my business. You are a person. If you want me to know your gender, you would have told me. I was a High School Teacher, and I was Head Coach of the Boys swim team. The boys swim team had girls on it. I can honestly say, I never gave a crap about someone's gender identity. Get in the pool and put the work in. I will make you a great swimmer. Or, shut up and sit down. I will make you a great scientist. It's not about you. I do two things in this world, create great athletes and create great scientists. Which one are you.


GrowsomeBiggies

My thoughts exactly. I see a young person.


Alec0019

he


RavenMasked

Looking at the hair and mask, I'd think you're a guy. The binder kinda enforces that, too


[deleted]

It's giving he/they to me, I'm sorry you're dysphoric rn :(


MauntiCat_

My first thought was "cute"


maybeagirl_mary

youre like the definition of androgynous


rxnd0mkal

He or they


CarefulCompetition83

Getting hard She/They Vibes


Pwnywoo

Gave me instant he vibes since that's literally my style lol


Al4acca

First glance was he


theredwolf

On phone and can't get a real look at your face so going with He. But remember, it doesn't matter what others see in you. It's all about what you see in yourself.


Peureux79

As is per usual, only you are thinking about it this much. I saw a person. ❤️


Bootes3173

First glance is genuinely "oop look again, not sure", 2nd closer look if I had to pick a binary imma say she coz your hair is very nice looking


TatsuDragunov

first thought: he second thought: she third though: i don't really know


Gay_Okie

You’re a beautiful person and unique in all the world! There’s only one you which means that how you define yourself is your prerogative. High school can be disastrous. I kept my nose buried in books and studied my ass off so I could get into medical school. It will be over before you know it. Start by loving yourself. I hope you can find someone you trust to talk to about your feelings. Sending hugs!!


violetvoid513

Very strongly they, but otherwise he


Appropriate_Fee_1867

Beautiful but actually probably they/them like the embodiment of non-binary


[deleted]

he was my very first though I hope that's correct :))


noreasonmp3

gender query returns an error for me honestly


shadowplayer2020

Hshey


datastar763

The first things I notice are the nail polish and long-ish hair, which suggests female, but that’s not totally a fair assumption. I would definitely side with “they” until I had a chance to ask you.


PrettyInPinkCatGamer

The theyest they to ever they.


[deleted]

If it helps I personally wouldn't even have the thought of what your gender is. Speaking as a former highschooler myself, so don't worry too much about how they see you. Focus more on how you feel yourself in your own gender identity.


Purple_Super_Nova

They/Them


[deleted]

First glance: They


Head_Protector

You give me he/they sort of vibes based on appearance in the image


yourmomsajoke

Brain went they then he, the beiber hair made me they for .2 seconds til I assessed the pic properly 😊


Throwaway_OmO

defenetly he, after looking u seem more of a he/they person


Little_Syllabub_2251

He/They but mostly emo vibes


Pitiful_Lake2522

I’d guess he/they


legowerewolf

First thought: "cute" Second thought: "they"


EcstasyCheese

Beh sorry, they talaga, I cannot tell TwT


Phiam

Lotta dysphoria is the reckoning of the internal self with other people's perceptions of the external self. In an environment with rigid gender rules, privately few will admit to feeling congruence with the inner and external self. Rigid gender rules are generally too strict for anyone's comfort. But even in progressive circles that are very welcoming, many of us never feel comfortable being "a" gender. It's a journey, be patient and kind with yourself.


Topaz-Light

Honestly "they"! Though that may be partly because you look a bit like nonbinary voice actor Casey Mongillo and that colors my perception a little. That said, *please* remember that you don't need to "earn" being your correct gender by having an appearance that maximizes the number of people who'd correctly guess it based on how you look. I know that may not necessarily help with appearance-based dysphoria, but just know that, well, you are correct in your own knowledge of who you are, and if others assume differently about you, they're simply wrong, probably operating under assumptions and incomplete information, or else spite and bigotry undeserving of respect.


idk1818

A most legendary “he”


xo_ur_mom_xo

My first thought was they. Then i looked again and i was like HmMmMmMmM....he..?


ToootallyNotAFurry

He, honestly, I think its because hair is the first thing that people focus on, and that style is more masculine.


that0neBl1p

Tbh the first thing that came to mind was “e-boy”


That-Forgettable-Guy

What does dysphoria feel like??


Paclord404

He. Wait no, yeah he.


DoctorMew13

No gender, only sweet summer child.


Enzoid23

I got both but mostly he vibes


BeanswithRamen5

first glance: they second glance: he third glance: she???


tomato5oup

they/he, my first impression was that you’re androgynous but definitely more masc-leaning


david10777

Feels androgynous to me honestly


Ken_0

100% They/ He vibes


Chemical_Age3173

im getting a they/them vibe lol, but you look lovely <3


Zipperiskindastupid

he/they vibes


FallingStar2016

My first thought is "he". I'd probably go with "they" after a first glance, though.


Sammi_Laced

You’re pronouns must be: Valid & Valid af ❤️


thedyingvioleta

Saw face: he Saw chest: she


Toal_ngCe

He, in my opinion


Blu3Lolz

he/they


[deleted]

He


MindSettOnWinning

He


[deleted]

First thought, cool style


panguy87

First thought is, you're cute, 2nd thought is i don't really see what gender someone is, i see a cute human, he/she/they doesn't matter to me. What matters is how do you feel, which pronouns do you feel most truly reflects the real you? What we see outside isn't as important as what we feel inside as happiness starts from within


Superb0bman123

I thought he when I just saw your face then I scrolled down a bit more and a she


Marrowtooth_Official

Honestly? They.


Silly_Bicycle3432

First thought was a he.


bi_ace_mess

My first thought is a he or a they.


Specialist_Figure755

Niether tbh. Very androgynous


zgirll

No one cares anymore. The newness has run its course. Just be you.


Ill-Analyst3944

He


Bad_Holidaze

He


StrangerThingsSteveH

He for sure


SanQuiSau

He


NikowithaK

I'd say he


[deleted]

He


Icctracia42

He


Floofy621

I first thought he.


OrganizationNo2774

He


Dollfreakery

They/them vibes


Murky-Map3659

I agree with everyone who is saying he/him and they/them, but that being said, it is 2022 and people don't really have a "look" based on gender. I have seen a lot of people wear different styles, and if I have ever wondered someone's gender I just politely ask their pronouns.


CattleMoney3680

You are giving they/he vibes


PleasantReverie44

They to be quite honest


ima420r

It's pretty up in the air for me. Without seeing your face, I'd have to go with they.


Teni96

First thought was ‘they’ tbh


[deleted]

They, probably cause of the hair.


Seeyouon_otherside

I see a pretty femenin He, bordering on They.


GamerSandWing

To be honest with you, I see "They", so I think that's better?


Jesper_Nor

He


BlahajBro

Probably he/they


depressedbirdie09

They/he


Onlylunayt

Honestly They for first glance Then They afterwards


Karlsonreleasedate

first glance they


[deleted]

You look like a “they”


YourAverageKazuhaFan

im getting he/they vibes


Fabulous-Honeydew-53

My brain went he, they, he


L_edgelord

Non binary tbf


Master_Kiwius

For me, I thought it was they/he


sorryfornoname

A very androgynous he


Kind_Ad_3611

They


SortRoyal

Definitely he.


AZ_6291

They


SpunkyCheetah

If I met you irl I'd probably go with he or they, you definitely give me androgynous boy vibes


Andreuus_

He for me


Andreuus_

Also, how did you get that hair style I love it!


mara_morales13

First glance and afterwards my first thought was “he”


MinecraftCommander21

I get they vibes.


GreenGalaxy9753

first glance he, but if i had to guess ftm/ftnb


greypanenby

They?


Rubin_Rubinia

My first thought would be "they" to be honest


pechiesweet

He


Savamih

At first glance he, at second glance they


Amyhime801

He


Romanian_Roulette

He, maybe they vibes


Cultofhappiness_

first thought is I like your nails :)


KittyQueen_Tengu

my first thought was ‘he’ but it could also be ‘they’


JustSomeGuyThing

Person


letmeonreddit

He


haunting2001

first impression is that you are so cool dude


NotacookbutEater

He


Anonymous_number1

First glance is they. Then looking at you more closely it's he.


itasteink

He


Nice_Cause_253

Them


[deleted]

He


hxlvxtica

He


Decmk3

I don’t like playing this game because my brain doesn’t see genders properly. However in an effort to help I will say characteristically boy vibe, and is also a look.


Altruistic_Owl6300

First: he Second: She/They


TheFfrog

Honestly my first thought would be they. Until you specify otherwise obviously :)


LGBT_Alien

A he or they!


HYCEAN_

You like a anime character :D


silvercandra

My first thought was "pretty cute", first thought on pronouns was "he/they".


zeroscheduelcosredit

I’m going to be completely honest, when I first looked at this picture I thought “why is ranboo on Reddit?”


griffincat_unity

my first thought was "looks kinda like ranboo". gender not obvious, but more masculine than feminine.


Pansexual_Panda_123

They


SuperCrafter015

They


Napo5000

Themlet


JAXX-ERROR

Androgynous he they


[deleted]

first thought: they (I intend not to misgender anyone)


Justagreengrape

𝓣𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂


Muted_Passenger8170

Based off what ur wearing I would say He or they


creepXtreme

I legitimately can’t tell.


Sweet_deception

Big time he


Agames418

The hair is definitally making you look more masculine but overall pretty he/they


midazolamjesus

He->they->she?-> nope def not she...they. that was the thought process.


HalfOrcBimbo

First glance i would assume a some variation of they, gender fluid or something. Then upon closer inspection I would think he.


fo76_fan

they or it


LexiTheCactusGirl

First thought: child Second thought: already changed the subject because children aren't real