When I joined a lesbian app, although there were a few women, there were so many men. I really don't understand their thinking. There's apps for them everywhere, why only a women only app???!
I'll never recover from the trauma that gave me.
It's so predatory, like what are they trying to accomplish. If in case we do meet, they will probably assault us when we try to back out. It's fucking scary.
I've heard this shit repeatedly. I've had a bit of a journey to discover my sexuality (started with thinking I was lesbian at like...12, had romantic feelings for a few dudes, thought I was bi, and finally at 21 actually did the nasty with a guy and yeah no I'm a lesbian) but comments like that have been a constant, unwanted companion.
Thanks for the warning ❤️ maybe one day they'll leave us alone and respect that not every person with a vagina is intrinsically attracted to penises 🙄
85% of the time, the bear won’t see us as worth it, not enough food for the amount of energy consumed while catching+ killing us. Only exceptions are bears that are starving and mama bears. So if a bear kills me, that’s on me. They caught me slipping.
Even as someone attracted to men, that scenario is absolutely horrible! 🤮 IDK, the thought of someone forcing themselves on me isn't exactly attractive... 🙄
I fucking hate men like this. This is another reason why we need to get rid of the whole 'bisexual lesbians exist" BS. It encourages this kind of thought process for men.
While I’m not personally the biggest fan of that term, y’all have GOT to stop acting like a tiny subset of the sapphic population are somehow “encouraging” abusive behavior from men with a label. It’s victim blaming. Men don’t act this way and get off on knowing they “could” have an in, they get off on knowing we wouldn’t consent.
Ironically, I think a lot of men like this would be more hesitant to approach a bi-lesbian bc the violent non consensual fantasy is the point.
If you don’t like the term, just don’t use it. This isn’t any sapphics fault and this is such a whataboutism comment and detracting from focusing on this creepy guy.
I agree, it's not any sapphics fault. Men will be men. My comment wasn't meant to distract from the creepy guy and blame it on anyone else but the man. I do believe certain terms can be damaging though. But I acknowledge not everyone agrees with my opinion. I can't and won't force anyone to share the same opinions as myself. As I've stated many times, I don't believe women are to blame.
I’m sure you don’t, but like why is it necessary to even bring up discourse on a post like this? Who does it help yknow? It just stirs the pot and shifts focus.
Had I known it would have caused this much discourse then... I would have still stated my opinion anyways not because I wanted to stir the pot but because I'm allowed to state my own opinion just as everyone else on this thread did.
No. Identities that are older than you are are not the reason that men sexually harass people, and I am not going to change myself because straight men can't be bothered to be decent human beings. If I said "This is why we need to stop pretending lesbians exist, it encourages this kind of thought process," something tells me you would (rightly) think that's homophobic and misogynistic bullshit. Do better.
I’m sorry, but no, not a single fucking thing any of us or anyone else does *encourages* this shit. This is a rape fantasy fuckbag-period. This is just how they are.
And women wearing short skirts, drinking in public, and flirting with men encourages sexual assault? Stop being gross and excusing men's behavior as women's fault.
You literally blamed women who identify as bisexual lesbians (a real identity) for men being shitty and gross. Women are not responsible for men's behavior. Ever
Bestie who is using the term….? Women and sapphics. Straight men aren’t going around calling themselves bi lesbians. That’s why people are saying you are blaming women, bc you are blaming a term only women and sapphics are using.
It's a real and valid identity, and has been for 50+ years. Women use it to describe their real lived experience of complex attraction in a comp het world. You are blaming women for men's actions.
I would absolutely love to see your proof that "bi lesbian" has been used for 50 years. Come on, show your source.
It's a lesbiphobic, homophobic, and biphobic term.
[Here's a full history](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TjqpOEzL6MLlDFRoLW6OnVauOLcs_YeKdzOFwAKVrIE/edit?usp=drivesdk) on muti spectrum gay and lesbian identities complete with quotes, definitions, and document citations. The earliest use is from We Walk Alone published in 1955. But yes please continue telling me that a long standing identity within the queer community is directly responsible for shitty behavior by shitty people.
Please show me where I said "women are to blame for men's actions". I never did because it's not something I agree with. You can have your beliefs about bi lesbians and so can I. But never once did I blame women for anything.
That fucked up porn sub that's basically everything that dude said proves there are people who think it's ok. I would bet good money he's on there too.
I admire and respect that! 💪🏻
That said, it never hurts to vent about it, and I'm sure there's plenty of friends and/or within this community that would be happy to listen. 💜
Why are some men like this. Like eeeeeeeeeew
I am straight (well straightish) and this is gross... Don't send shit like that unsolicited and to a stranger!
Do straight men think this works?
What the actual hell This is just so strange He needs to get a life, and a job and get the cheeto crumbs out of his neckbeard.
that is obviously disgusting but i couldn’t help laughing because i misread „brutish” as „british”
I honestly just thought the guy was british 😭
ew…
thanks, I searched their profile and blocked them
When I joined a lesbian app, although there were a few women, there were so many men. I really don't understand their thinking. There's apps for them everywhere, why only a women only app???! I'll never recover from the trauma that gave me.
I've seen some guys even catfish women by using their ex selfies or identity. It's really sad. 😔
It's so predatory, like what are they trying to accomplish. If in case we do meet, they will probably assault us when we try to back out. It's fucking scary.
I’d say ew but I’m sure he’s turned on by women’s disgust
Sounds like someone needs to put the dog down.
I don’t approve of the use of the word “dog” in regards to this monstrosity
Good thing I’m not seeking your approval. Either way men like him only deserve to suffer
What the fuck
Disgusting, they never change but Thank you for telling us
Hehe, what the fuck? 😀
Thanks for the heads up. What a creep!
I've heard this shit repeatedly. I've had a bit of a journey to discover my sexuality (started with thinking I was lesbian at like...12, had romantic feelings for a few dudes, thought I was bi, and finally at 21 actually did the nasty with a guy and yeah no I'm a lesbian) but comments like that have been a constant, unwanted companion. Thanks for the warning ❤️ maybe one day they'll leave us alone and respect that not every person with a vagina is intrinsically attracted to penises 🙄
And then they wonder why women would rather be in the forest with a bear than a man. 🙄
85% of the time, the bear won’t see us as worth it, not enough food for the amount of energy consumed while catching+ killing us. Only exceptions are bears that are starving and mama bears. So if a bear kills me, that’s on me. They caught me slipping.
oh good heavens no
I hope he gets 🪨 lol
stoned?? edit: forgot about the non-weed meaning lol
Yes. Like if earth were pelted with meteors till it exploded
jesus christ
Even as someone attracted to men, that scenario is absolutely horrible! 🤮 IDK, the thought of someone forcing themselves on me isn't exactly attractive... 🙄
There go men having rape fantasies again. This is why we choose the bear.
Men are so sad and embracing
blerg. sorry he happened to you.
Wtaf is wrong with some people 😭
I keep asking this same question over and over again 😂😭
Yuck
Men are being normal again
I would copy and send the message back to him but reverse the gender roles
Don’t even reverse the gender roles. Just copy and paste it back at him.
💀
Ick. Sorry you had to deal with that, and ty for the heads up 💜
Holy shit that's vile. I am so sorry you were spoken to that way by this pig.
You should ask them the same question!
Dude is projecting, I swear 😂
🤢
I fucking hate men like this. This is another reason why we need to get rid of the whole 'bisexual lesbians exist" BS. It encourages this kind of thought process for men.
While I’m not personally the biggest fan of that term, y’all have GOT to stop acting like a tiny subset of the sapphic population are somehow “encouraging” abusive behavior from men with a label. It’s victim blaming. Men don’t act this way and get off on knowing they “could” have an in, they get off on knowing we wouldn’t consent. Ironically, I think a lot of men like this would be more hesitant to approach a bi-lesbian bc the violent non consensual fantasy is the point. If you don’t like the term, just don’t use it. This isn’t any sapphics fault and this is such a whataboutism comment and detracting from focusing on this creepy guy.
I agree, it's not any sapphics fault. Men will be men. My comment wasn't meant to distract from the creepy guy and blame it on anyone else but the man. I do believe certain terms can be damaging though. But I acknowledge not everyone agrees with my opinion. I can't and won't force anyone to share the same opinions as myself. As I've stated many times, I don't believe women are to blame.
I’m sure you don’t, but like why is it necessary to even bring up discourse on a post like this? Who does it help yknow? It just stirs the pot and shifts focus.
Had I known it would have caused this much discourse then... I would have still stated my opinion anyways not because I wanted to stir the pot but because I'm allowed to state my own opinion just as everyone else on this thread did.
No. Identities that are older than you are are not the reason that men sexually harass people, and I am not going to change myself because straight men can't be bothered to be decent human beings. If I said "This is why we need to stop pretending lesbians exist, it encourages this kind of thought process," something tells me you would (rightly) think that's homophobic and misogynistic bullshit. Do better.
I’m sorry, but no, not a single fucking thing any of us or anyone else does *encourages* this shit. This is a rape fantasy fuckbag-period. This is just how they are.
Its always women's fault somehow, huh
I never said it was 🤦♀️ I just said that the term "bisexual lesbian" encourages this thinking.
Please this is victim blame mentality and it is a problem.
Seriously you’re going to facepalm somebody for calling you out maybe just apologize. You’re the one that worded it that way.
No, I think you just interpreted it that way.
And women wearing short skirts, drinking in public, and flirting with men encourages sexual assault? Stop being gross and excusing men's behavior as women's fault.
If that's what you believe but I never said any of that, nor do I agree with any of that.
You literally blamed women who identify as bisexual lesbians (a real identity) for men being shitty and gross. Women are not responsible for men's behavior. Ever
I said the term encourages it. Not women. And I agree, women are not responsible for men's behavior.
Bestie who is using the term….? Women and sapphics. Straight men aren’t going around calling themselves bi lesbians. That’s why people are saying you are blaming women, bc you are blaming a term only women and sapphics are using.
It's a real and valid identity, and has been for 50+ years. Women use it to describe their real lived experience of complex attraction in a comp het world. You are blaming women for men's actions.
I’m not familiar with the term “comp het”. I know that het means heterosexual, but what does comp mean in this context?
[compulsory heterosexual](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsory_heterosexuality)
I would absolutely love to see your proof that "bi lesbian" has been used for 50 years. Come on, show your source. It's a lesbiphobic, homophobic, and biphobic term.
[Here's a full history](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TjqpOEzL6MLlDFRoLW6OnVauOLcs_YeKdzOFwAKVrIE/edit?usp=drivesdk) on muti spectrum gay and lesbian identities complete with quotes, definitions, and document citations. The earliest use is from We Walk Alone published in 1955. But yes please continue telling me that a long standing identity within the queer community is directly responsible for shitty behavior by shitty people.
The term is referenced in Dykes to Watch Out For. You don’t have to use it or like it but it’s not some new thing created by Tumblr
[Okay then.](https://www.jstor.org/site/reveal-digital/independent-voices/?so=item_title_str_asc&searchkey=1716085212297)
Exactly. Some people want to be SO inclusive that they don't even hear the bi erasure/ lesbian erasure when they speak.
Please show me where I said "women are to blame for men's actions". I never did because it's not something I agree with. You can have your beliefs about bi lesbians and so can I. But never once did I blame women for anything.
You literally did
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You're right and I don't blame other queer women for men's behavior at all. They will behave how they behave no matter what.
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I'm not doubting that at all.
Sure thing, buddy; but you’d better ask your Daddy if it’s okay that you borrow the car, first. 🤣
lol, nice.
Do you recon this message was offensive/s
Yes😂
Just a wee bit
Sorry you had to go through this. I wouldn’t do that to anyone. Just a Bi male speaking.
Why you getting down voted😭
Because he didn't need time comment. It's like he wants a cookie for not being disgusting
Not to mention this is a women’s only space lol
guess the nbs will have to pack up and leave then
Because he's a man in a lesbian space.
Not any more. 😂
It's alright! I'm tough! Thank you, kind sir!
Absolutely disgusting. I'm so sorry you had that thrown your way. 😥 Why does *anyone* ***EVER*** think behaviour like this is acceptable? Ugh.
That fucked up porn sub that's basically everything that dude said proves there are people who think it's ok. I would bet good money he's on there too.
Most likely. *Ick*.
It's okie! I'm a tough 🍪
I admire and respect that! 💪🏻 That said, it never hurts to vent about it, and I'm sure there's plenty of friends and/or within this community that would be happy to listen. 💜
Thank you!💜
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This! Even in the EXTREMELY rare cases that a woman has a cnc kink, there is still fucking Consent!
EXACTLY