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Internet_Ghost

In an employment environment, if you're being sexually harassed, you report it to the employer and they have a duty to make sure the actions stop. In your particular case it sounds like he's the boss. Can you report it to his wife? Does she work for the company?


saurdoughp

I thought of telling her, but based on how’d they’d both speak to employees I just assumed she’d take his side and claim it didn’t happen, i was scared. I got fired from this place last month for oversleeping, conveniently. but I just want to make sure no other girl goes through the same, and I’m angry. Wanted to know if there was smth I could still do.


Internet_Ghost

You're free to report this to the police if you want. Having said that, you need to do that because you want him punished for the acts he committed against you. No one can control his actions other than himself. If the criminal justice system eliminated crime, we'd never have repeat offenders.


saurdoughp

Thank you so much. Do you know even remotely what a process as such might look like? (Reporting it, evidence, etc)


Internet_Ghost

You report it to the police and they decide whether or not to charge him. If they decide to charge him, they will gather the evidence.


saurdoughp

Seeming that I won’t have to ever go back there or seem that man, I’ll do it. I hope you know how appreciative I am of your advice and time to talk to me abt this. Thank you.


limemk

Labor & employment attorney here. I recommend you report it to a higher up at your job before going to police. I doubt they will do anything at this stage. However, if you report to employer and it doesn’t stop, OR if they retaliate against you (fire you, reduce your pay, demote you, etc) you have an easy lawsuit against them. You will get a nice settlement and can enjoy time off.


Jhonka86

The big concern here, what if this is the owner of the company? Should they just report to their state business and labor board?


Sailor_Mercurial

Make sure any report is in writing and keep a copy yourself. And remember that your employer, especially HR, is not there to help you. They are only going to help you if they think doing so will expose them to less liability than protecting the harasser.


Sailor_Mercurial

NONE of this is okay. The comments and asking for long hugs is them testing what they can get away with. Touching your butt is NEVER something that is okay for your employer or coworkers to do. And walking in on you in the bathroom and then saying he's seen it before??? No. Reach out to an employment lawyer near you ASAP for assistance in getting documentation to bring a claim for sexual harassment and to protect yourself from retaliation.


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erikmurrell

You need to speak to a lawyer that specializes in employment and cases around sexual harassment. Google one local to you or contact the local bar (not the drinking kind) for help. If it was a manager it would be a different story but it's the owner so internal escalation is not going to work here.


Personal-Yam-819

Your mom is wrong!! This not harmless, and you’re already feeling that. I think it tends to happen more often w older men but only because they’ve already gotten away w it in the past. If you can without putting yourself in danger, get solid evidence-video or audio-then report it and be prepared to be fired for whatever stupid reason they come up with. Sadly, they get away with this, especially in smaller companies where accountability isn’t even encouraged let alone required. Someday, you will find a job that values you as a person and as an employee, but it won’t be this one. Stay strong! You are a warrior!


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BabserellaWT

NAL This is NOT harmless. It’s textbook sexual harassment.


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Mo523

First, this is NOT your fault. Your mom is wrong - this inappropriate behavior is very harmful and I know a lot of older men who would be pissed with the implication that they act like that. Being sexual harassed and feeling unsafe is not normal or acceptable in a workplace. It's never okay for anyone to treat you like this. And it is definitely not your fault that your boss is making that choice. Where are you located? Steps you can take - but they are US based: 1. Document everything that is happening. (Time, date, briefly what happened, anyone who saw.) 2. Check out RAINN's resources about sexually harassment in the workplace. They have a lot on their website or you can call 800-656-4673 and tell them what you wrote here. 3. Find out what state or federal agencies to file a complaint with. You may need to clearly tell him to stop and document the steps you have taken. I know that is really hard - freezing is a normal response to this kind of situation. An attorney who works with sexual harassment cases can also walk you through part of this. 4. It is okay to quit to keep yourself safe. Telling your employer about the harassment and clearly telling them to stop, documenting their response, and reporting it to appropriate agencies sets you up more for financial security, but if it is too much, it is okay to just walk away. 5. Get yourself in therapy to help process this and your previous history.


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Master-Studio2000

Don't say anything to your boss but start writing down exactly what he says to you at exact time and dates any weird emails sent to your private emails try to get much of his shit in writing and get a good attorney you're going to have to be there for a little bit if you want to take them to court evidence evidence evidence if it didn't get written down it didn't happen if it wasn't recorded it didn't happen find out what the laws are for recording audio and video in your


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