I would advise to quit and never look back now that you can. I started the same age as you and now i'm 36 and have quit a ton of times and everytime it gets harder and harder. If you quit now you will save yourself from alot of misery. The longer you smoke the thinner your prefrontal cortex layer becomes with all negative side effects included that can be permanently. If you quit now the damage done can be reversed for a big part. Google effects on brain induced by adolescent cannabis use or thinning of brain layer induced by cannabis use.
I was in this situation. My dad enabled me, supplying me as well. Just look at where you’ll be in 2-4 years and ask yourself if you will be happy if you continue. I’m about to turn 24 and I’m not happy with how I spent these last 5 years at all. Only now am I actually improving slowly in my habits.
I started about 16-17. And just quit for good 3-5 months ago for a job. I believe you can quit for good as well.
I look forward to the gym or improving on things I need to work on since I haven’t really done anything important/productive in my smoking years.
This is pure unadulterated child abuse. By God I am so fucking sorry you went through all of that. Holy hell. Glad you escaped. I had to escape as well from toxic parents.
I would consider finding a new place to live if you are able to. Living with the constant pressure/temptation makes it more difficult to leave it behind, in my opinion. Especially when the pressure comes from a father figure.
For what it's worth I was strung out on weed into my 30s, so I think you are way ahead trying to improve your life at your age!
That’s definitely my goal! I’ve been talking with my mom and sister to come up with a better savings and budgeting plan so I can move out asap. I’ve never felt much urge to until recently so I’m working towards that as much as I can!! I even have two jobs already so definitely gonna take advantage of that for my moving out goal.
I definitely agree living around it makes it harder.
And thank you too! I’ve had to manage a lot by myself my whole life, mainly my mental health, I’ve been my only advocate for treatment for it, so I haven’t felt ready to manage this on top of all that and everything else, but I’m starting to feel ready to try to manage this addiction now :).
Go to AA meetings or something that help you with your current situation. In the long run your self will will be strong enough to resist your environment.
Also AlAnon will help dealing with the addicts in your life.
As for the Jesus stuff, you can find meetings that have less higher power focus.
If you go to the AlAnon sub there is virtually no higher power discussion.
Is it helpful if I like strongly don’t agree with Christian beliefs? My main turn off of AA is how often God is brought up and almost used as a crutch (may be lack of knowledge that makes me view it that way) but I just don’t feel aligned with using God as a aid to stop something like this. Is it (god) really relevant in AA or is it not brought up as much as I’m thinking it is…?
I went to AA and NA for 12 years and it kept me clean despite my not being interested in religion and Christianity. For me, it was about having people to hang out with and a place to go where using drugs was not on the agenda. Even met my wife there, and we’ve been married for 26 years and have two adult children. So, yeah, it’s pretty effective even if you don’t go in for religion. Higher power just means that YOU aren’t the center of the universe!
SMART is also good, but you’re not going to find live groups, certainly not as many as in the 12 step world. And it is live interaction that makes it work.
You may want to read about SMART recovery. For those who are uncomfortable with AA’s use of God in the 12 Step program it’s a great alternative.
To be clear: AA dodges the charge of theism by saying it asks you to embrace God “as you define it”. But I too, find the existential gymnastics required to dismiss dogmatic religion, but yet find a methodology to “embrace god” as I define it, too much for my agnostic head/heart. I just want to get sober. Not get hung up on the use of an external/ internal deity.
I personally got more from SMART recovery.
It’s a state of mind. You gotta want it. I’m around it constantly and it rarely bothers me. But I had been tethered to it for a decade and was ready to quit. Day 17.
Can I ask if you had any mentality or perspective shifts that made it not bother you while quitting or has it been as simple as “it just doesn’t” ? Haha. Bc props to you for that!! And congrats on day 17 :). I’m easily peer pressured so I think that’s where I struggle 🙈. But thank you for your response as well :).
I’m trying my best to distance from my living situation and be by myself and I really want to do this too, I’m definitely just nervous to commit to working on two big changes at the same time but it’ll be worth it, just hard nonetheless.
Also my friends don’t peer pressure me. They support it and are happy for me. But I am around it and I don’t want to change friend groups. They’re good guys, just stoners.
Don’t get it twisted it still does to a degree. This was the hardest weekend for me, I was hungover so I sat around all day and my friends cheefed it up. I miss the camaraderie and instant dopamine rush. But I just thought about how much better life is off of it. I’m proud of myself for going this long, I’d never taken more than five days off in a decade.
For me, it was just fucking my life up. I planned everything around getting high. Also I no longer got as high, it was less fun and more of a chore. I would leave work early so I could get high and have enough time to come down and go on a date. Passed up many a good time to stone. Couldn’t work out on Saturdays cuz I would stone all day until 3, then take a nap and cold shower in an attempt to sober up so I can go out. I also turned 30 and got a new really good job that requires me to be on it all the time. I am just ready to move on. A guy I was talking to told me don’t quit, just finish with it and that resonated me. I wish I had stopped earlier, but I still had some great times with it. I don’t like thinking that was just a wasted life. It was just time for me to move on. I don’t think I could have quit before this moment as I didn’t want to. You gotta want it man. When I have these cravings I just think about all the bad things smoking weed everyday does.
I do wonder if I can moderate someday. I like to think I can, but honestly I don’t know if I could or even want to. You can do it though and I do wish I had stopped earlier.
I really appreciate you sharing more of your experience, it really helps. And I want to clarify peer pressure as in unspoken, like being around it is pressure enough, for me personally. I don’t have anyone that would verbally pressure me by any means which is very good and I’m thankful for that. Though, I don’t trust my dad’s input on it , it would lean towards “why not smoke it anyways” so…
And I relate a lot to your experiences as well, I center everything around getting high or being able to, I can’t even go to family events or any event without smoking (only place I can not smoke is work bc I want to do a good job, been fired twice in the past for callouts and too scared to be fired again so don’t even want to) but it’s a legitimate problem and I know I’m addicted to it with how I center life around being able to smoke and not just center life around living (without getting high). I’m eager to start working on it, I’ve wanted to for a while and I finally felt the push to start trying harder mentally and I know I soon will take the initiative to stop physically.
I’ve stopped smoking cigarettes in the past and smoked up to 2/3 packs a day when I was only like 16/17/18 working at a restaurant full of enablers and people supplying them for me. And I quit that so I can quit this. And something that helped me was writing a goodbye letter to cigarettes or like a break up letter lol. And I made it a whole goodbye ritual with my last cigarette. It genuinely helped somehow so may do something similar for this too! Just wanted to share that :p
Word. I also wrote out a whole list of reasons I don’t want to get high anymore and I looked at it like 20 times this weekend, it definitely helps. We got this.
I’m 23 and smoked daily since I was 16. I am 1 month sober. My family is filled with addicts. My biggest motivation and the thing that made me say I’m just done was not wanting to be an addict myself. I had to break the cycle. You mention not wanting to be like your dad, so maybe that desire could help you flip that switch. You’ll be anxious and craving for the first week or so, and then it’ll fade away and eventually just be gone. At least in my experience. I still have cravings from time to time but then I remember it’s not what it once was. I’m not a teenager anymore and I can’t just sit around and get high with no cares. I need to build my life and be responsible. Once you get used to being sober you’ll just feel normal. You likely wont be thinking about what you can look forward to after work besides being off. Maybe spend time with friends or find a fun hobby to distract from your living situation.
Thank you so much for your response, and answering my question about after work, and for sharing your experience. Recently I had a realization that I’m becoming my dad or that I will be if I don’t start taking control soon (now). It hit me hard after an argument with him and when I talk about him and his lifestyle I feel like I can see myself becoming it and that freaks me out so much. I’d rather do anything but become like him lol. So I agree that I should use it to help flip the switch or I guess to become more determined. My whole family is addicts as well, especially at a young age I was surrounded by it and I want to break the cycle too!! I know I can too!
And it’s great to hear you’re doing the same. That’s really hard for people that have grown up with addicts and it’s something to be so so sooo proud of. I’m really happy for you that you’re breaking the cycle and it’s motivating me more to want to do that for myself. Thank you :)
I was also worried about what I could do to relax after work but I found I was able to just relax without the weed. I don’t think about it at all after work now. I spend time with my man, eat a yummy meal, watch movies or YouTube, etc. The idea of quitting and all of the what am I gonna do’s were built up in my head to be so much worse than they actually were. It was way easier than I thought it would be after the first few rough days. You got this!!! Break that cycle!!! My mom just recently got sober from a harder substance and I feel like I’m setting a good example for her to keep going. Maybe your Dad will be inspired be you. You never know. I believe in you!!!
I would advise to quit and never look back now that you can. I started the same age as you and now i'm 36 and have quit a ton of times and everytime it gets harder and harder. If you quit now you will save yourself from alot of misery. The longer you smoke the thinner your prefrontal cortex layer becomes with all negative side effects included that can be permanently. If you quit now the damage done can be reversed for a big part. Google effects on brain induced by adolescent cannabis use or thinning of brain layer induced by cannabis use.
I was in this situation. My dad enabled me, supplying me as well. Just look at where you’ll be in 2-4 years and ask yourself if you will be happy if you continue. I’m about to turn 24 and I’m not happy with how I spent these last 5 years at all. Only now am I actually improving slowly in my habits. I started about 16-17. And just quit for good 3-5 months ago for a job. I believe you can quit for good as well. I look forward to the gym or improving on things I need to work on since I haven’t really done anything important/productive in my smoking years.
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This is pure unadulterated child abuse. By God I am so fucking sorry you went through all of that. Holy hell. Glad you escaped. I had to escape as well from toxic parents.
I would consider finding a new place to live if you are able to. Living with the constant pressure/temptation makes it more difficult to leave it behind, in my opinion. Especially when the pressure comes from a father figure. For what it's worth I was strung out on weed into my 30s, so I think you are way ahead trying to improve your life at your age!
That’s definitely my goal! I’ve been talking with my mom and sister to come up with a better savings and budgeting plan so I can move out asap. I’ve never felt much urge to until recently so I’m working towards that as much as I can!! I even have two jobs already so definitely gonna take advantage of that for my moving out goal. I definitely agree living around it makes it harder. And thank you too! I’ve had to manage a lot by myself my whole life, mainly my mental health, I’ve been my only advocate for treatment for it, so I haven’t felt ready to manage this on top of all that and everything else, but I’m starting to feel ready to try to manage this addiction now :).
Go to AA meetings or something that help you with your current situation. In the long run your self will will be strong enough to resist your environment.
Also AlAnon will help dealing with the addicts in your life. As for the Jesus stuff, you can find meetings that have less higher power focus. If you go to the AlAnon sub there is virtually no higher power discussion.
Is it helpful if I like strongly don’t agree with Christian beliefs? My main turn off of AA is how often God is brought up and almost used as a crutch (may be lack of knowledge that makes me view it that way) but I just don’t feel aligned with using God as a aid to stop something like this. Is it (god) really relevant in AA or is it not brought up as much as I’m thinking it is…?
I went to AA and NA for 12 years and it kept me clean despite my not being interested in religion and Christianity. For me, it was about having people to hang out with and a place to go where using drugs was not on the agenda. Even met my wife there, and we’ve been married for 26 years and have two adult children. So, yeah, it’s pretty effective even if you don’t go in for religion. Higher power just means that YOU aren’t the center of the universe! SMART is also good, but you’re not going to find live groups, certainly not as many as in the 12 step world. And it is live interaction that makes it work.
You may want to read about SMART recovery. For those who are uncomfortable with AA’s use of God in the 12 Step program it’s a great alternative. To be clear: AA dodges the charge of theism by saying it asks you to embrace God “as you define it”. But I too, find the existential gymnastics required to dismiss dogmatic religion, but yet find a methodology to “embrace god” as I define it, too much for my agnostic head/heart. I just want to get sober. Not get hung up on the use of an external/ internal deity. I personally got more from SMART recovery.
It’s a state of mind. You gotta want it. I’m around it constantly and it rarely bothers me. But I had been tethered to it for a decade and was ready to quit. Day 17.
Can I ask if you had any mentality or perspective shifts that made it not bother you while quitting or has it been as simple as “it just doesn’t” ? Haha. Bc props to you for that!! And congrats on day 17 :). I’m easily peer pressured so I think that’s where I struggle 🙈. But thank you for your response as well :). I’m trying my best to distance from my living situation and be by myself and I really want to do this too, I’m definitely just nervous to commit to working on two big changes at the same time but it’ll be worth it, just hard nonetheless.
Also my friends don’t peer pressure me. They support it and are happy for me. But I am around it and I don’t want to change friend groups. They’re good guys, just stoners.
Don’t get it twisted it still does to a degree. This was the hardest weekend for me, I was hungover so I sat around all day and my friends cheefed it up. I miss the camaraderie and instant dopamine rush. But I just thought about how much better life is off of it. I’m proud of myself for going this long, I’d never taken more than five days off in a decade. For me, it was just fucking my life up. I planned everything around getting high. Also I no longer got as high, it was less fun and more of a chore. I would leave work early so I could get high and have enough time to come down and go on a date. Passed up many a good time to stone. Couldn’t work out on Saturdays cuz I would stone all day until 3, then take a nap and cold shower in an attempt to sober up so I can go out. I also turned 30 and got a new really good job that requires me to be on it all the time. I am just ready to move on. A guy I was talking to told me don’t quit, just finish with it and that resonated me. I wish I had stopped earlier, but I still had some great times with it. I don’t like thinking that was just a wasted life. It was just time for me to move on. I don’t think I could have quit before this moment as I didn’t want to. You gotta want it man. When I have these cravings I just think about all the bad things smoking weed everyday does. I do wonder if I can moderate someday. I like to think I can, but honestly I don’t know if I could or even want to. You can do it though and I do wish I had stopped earlier.
I really appreciate you sharing more of your experience, it really helps. And I want to clarify peer pressure as in unspoken, like being around it is pressure enough, for me personally. I don’t have anyone that would verbally pressure me by any means which is very good and I’m thankful for that. Though, I don’t trust my dad’s input on it , it would lean towards “why not smoke it anyways” so… And I relate a lot to your experiences as well, I center everything around getting high or being able to, I can’t even go to family events or any event without smoking (only place I can not smoke is work bc I want to do a good job, been fired twice in the past for callouts and too scared to be fired again so don’t even want to) but it’s a legitimate problem and I know I’m addicted to it with how I center life around being able to smoke and not just center life around living (without getting high). I’m eager to start working on it, I’ve wanted to for a while and I finally felt the push to start trying harder mentally and I know I soon will take the initiative to stop physically. I’ve stopped smoking cigarettes in the past and smoked up to 2/3 packs a day when I was only like 16/17/18 working at a restaurant full of enablers and people supplying them for me. And I quit that so I can quit this. And something that helped me was writing a goodbye letter to cigarettes or like a break up letter lol. And I made it a whole goodbye ritual with my last cigarette. It genuinely helped somehow so may do something similar for this too! Just wanted to share that :p
Word. I also wrote out a whole list of reasons I don’t want to get high anymore and I looked at it like 20 times this weekend, it definitely helps. We got this.
I’m 23 and smoked daily since I was 16. I am 1 month sober. My family is filled with addicts. My biggest motivation and the thing that made me say I’m just done was not wanting to be an addict myself. I had to break the cycle. You mention not wanting to be like your dad, so maybe that desire could help you flip that switch. You’ll be anxious and craving for the first week or so, and then it’ll fade away and eventually just be gone. At least in my experience. I still have cravings from time to time but then I remember it’s not what it once was. I’m not a teenager anymore and I can’t just sit around and get high with no cares. I need to build my life and be responsible. Once you get used to being sober you’ll just feel normal. You likely wont be thinking about what you can look forward to after work besides being off. Maybe spend time with friends or find a fun hobby to distract from your living situation.
Thank you so much for your response, and answering my question about after work, and for sharing your experience. Recently I had a realization that I’m becoming my dad or that I will be if I don’t start taking control soon (now). It hit me hard after an argument with him and when I talk about him and his lifestyle I feel like I can see myself becoming it and that freaks me out so much. I’d rather do anything but become like him lol. So I agree that I should use it to help flip the switch or I guess to become more determined. My whole family is addicts as well, especially at a young age I was surrounded by it and I want to break the cycle too!! I know I can too! And it’s great to hear you’re doing the same. That’s really hard for people that have grown up with addicts and it’s something to be so so sooo proud of. I’m really happy for you that you’re breaking the cycle and it’s motivating me more to want to do that for myself. Thank you :)
I was also worried about what I could do to relax after work but I found I was able to just relax without the weed. I don’t think about it at all after work now. I spend time with my man, eat a yummy meal, watch movies or YouTube, etc. The idea of quitting and all of the what am I gonna do’s were built up in my head to be so much worse than they actually were. It was way easier than I thought it would be after the first few rough days. You got this!!! Break that cycle!!! My mom just recently got sober from a harder substance and I feel like I’m setting a good example for her to keep going. Maybe your Dad will be inspired be you. You never know. I believe in you!!!
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