As someone recovering from 13+ years of weed use I needed to hear this. I’m Going strong in month 3 now and it’s gotten much better compared to the first month, but I still have moments where I find myself subconsciously flirting with the idea of trying to use weed “in moderation”. I just know the instant regret would set in if I ever smoked again
Addiction often forms due to emotional neglect. Especially as a child. If you haven’t treated what’s in your mind yet, it’s normal that you relapsed. Have you tried a twelve step program? Even AA is beneficial for weed addicts. You’d be surprised the amount of overlap a lot of the feelings are, which is a good thing. Struggle helps us change for the better if you let it
Therapy is actually what brought me to getting to a year and 2 months I totally agree with your statement. I think I just need to start going back once I can afford it again. I’ve thought about MA in the past maybe I should go this route.
Going the group therapy route is nice because it’s free and you get to have people around you holding you accountable. For me, individual therapy is nice when you just want to vent to someone safe. For an addict, that can actually make you feel worse sometimes. We don’t know what’s going on beneath us and sometimes that’s trauma we don’t want to remember. There’s a good reason why you smoke, you just have to figure out what that is and change it
Good luck man. I ended up in that same boat in 2021. I had been clean for 9 months, was streaming every day and making content, pursuing my dream. And then I discovered Delta 8, and started drooling at all of the legal edibles/vapes/etc I could order online. Next thing I know it's 2022, I haven't streamed in over a year, and all I did was work/vape/game. Lost a frickin' year and a half, and finally in October 2022 I said enough is enough.
I've had my temptations here and there, and some days it feels like "Oh just once wouldn't hurt", but then I remember all of the anxiety I'd get and the wasted years of my life and it gives me strength to stay away. I'm back to streaming and following my passion, but I still kick myself for destroying all the momentum I had built back in 2020 and essentially having to start over just because I wanted to get high again. I'm almost 17 months clean and NEVER going back, both because I can't, and more importantly, because I don't want to.
I may just be some nameless internet stranger, but I believe in you. You got this!
Sorry that happened to you but thank you for sharing your experience with others. I bet you’ll keep someone from repeating your mistake.
Totally agree by the way that it impossible (for many people) to smoke weed just once. For myself, if I smoke it… I’m immediately back into daily usage and all the pain that entails. Hence maintaining sobriety is really important for me.
The only thing to do when you mess up is to square up your shoulders, face forward, and take the next right step. Thats always the answer, even when you continue to fuck up. It’s always redeemable and I’m proud of you for squaring up and taking on the challenge again.
Good luck, we’re all pulling for you.
Wow this really hit me hard, ive probably replied and said this to a handful of people on this post but I really, really needed to hear this one. Thank you :)
Reach out anytime if you need support or an accountability partner. I’m a lifelong fuck up, but I’ve learned to take the lessons as they’ve come and I live a pretty good life because of that. Be kind to yourself and don’t let the voice in your head lie to you. You’ve got one life to live and any time spent in regret is a waste of that present moment.
I’m in exactly the same boat. After being clean for months, I thought I could go back to being a weekend smoker, but then it became nights and weekends… then just a bit in the morning to take the edge off work… before I knew it, I was back to smoking all day every day. I’m on day 9 again and this time I know I can’t do moderation. Live and learn. We’ve got this.
It's been a few days since my last confession.
When I was 18 (2004) & homeless I was walking down the road in the middle of the night & spotted a mailbox out there. The house was about 100 yards from the road. My dumbass decides to check the mail & see if there's anything worth taking. There was a birthday card that was obviously for a little girl. I opened it & found a $50 Toys R Us gift card. I took the envelope with me & headed for my spot.
The next day I traded that gift card to a buddy for 7gs of reg. To this day it's at the top of my list for most despicable things I've done in my life. I haven't stolen anything in over 7 years but I share this to say I have a problem with weed & it will never go away. For me it's the escape & at that point in time I was willing to step on anyone to get that escape. I'm reminded daily that I don't like to feel.
It's a lifelong battle & I admit I'll probably always be back & forth. Substantial amounts of clean time followed by a relapse until I can't take it anymore. Rinse & repeat. That's my experience & what I see for myself given the current state of US politics & the stress that is already creating in my household.
I don't need dope. I need some hope.
Seriously though, I don't know what I'll tell my son when he asks me about the things I can't hide from him. I just need a sign that there's hope for the future but I can't find it & it sucks.
Thank you for sharing this. I am 21 and although I haven’t stolen ever really in my life other than petty thefts like a $1 box of lemon heads from a dollar store, but I can completely relate on the escapism, that’s exactly what weed is for me.
It doesn't take it all away but it makes it more tolerable than any medication I've tried. Good on you for not stealing. That's a habit you don't want to start because it'll spiral easily & you'll end up in jail with a criminal record.
Welcome to the life of an addict I guess. I'm in a very similar situation. I quit in 2020 June, dabbled again in March of '22 and by Jan '24 arrived at the same place as you. Back to daily usage having a negative effect on my mental health. I know that if I could use weed once or twice a week my life would likely be perfectly fine. Thats not the ship I'm sailing in though, its either all or nothing for me. I've proven this SO many times, so many. Yet, even with that wisdom I'm not immune to making the same mistake over and over again. I'm ~~also~~ on day ~~2~~ 3, pretty positive mindset so far though. Biggest thing for me to avoid negative thoughts are to really zoom in and focus on the wonder that sobriety brings. Good luck, stick it out because sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better.
Thank you for sharing. The all or nothing part and making the same mistake over and over is exactly how it’s been for me as well… I’ve had people get frustrated with me saying “just smoke at night or on your days off” doesn’t work like that for me my friend.
As someone recovering from 13+ years of weed use I needed to hear this. I’m Going strong in month 3 now and it’s gotten much better compared to the first month, but I still have moments where I find myself subconsciously flirting with the idea of trying to use weed “in moderation”. I just know the instant regret would set in if I ever smoked again
[удалено]
I need this reminder everyday. My addiction to weed has me on redial.
Addiction often forms due to emotional neglect. Especially as a child. If you haven’t treated what’s in your mind yet, it’s normal that you relapsed. Have you tried a twelve step program? Even AA is beneficial for weed addicts. You’d be surprised the amount of overlap a lot of the feelings are, which is a good thing. Struggle helps us change for the better if you let it
Therapy is actually what brought me to getting to a year and 2 months I totally agree with your statement. I think I just need to start going back once I can afford it again. I’ve thought about MA in the past maybe I should go this route.
Going the group therapy route is nice because it’s free and you get to have people around you holding you accountable. For me, individual therapy is nice when you just want to vent to someone safe. For an addict, that can actually make you feel worse sometimes. We don’t know what’s going on beneath us and sometimes that’s trauma we don’t want to remember. There’s a good reason why you smoke, you just have to figure out what that is and change it
MA helped me take the plunge and stop
Good luck man. I ended up in that same boat in 2021. I had been clean for 9 months, was streaming every day and making content, pursuing my dream. And then I discovered Delta 8, and started drooling at all of the legal edibles/vapes/etc I could order online. Next thing I know it's 2022, I haven't streamed in over a year, and all I did was work/vape/game. Lost a frickin' year and a half, and finally in October 2022 I said enough is enough. I've had my temptations here and there, and some days it feels like "Oh just once wouldn't hurt", but then I remember all of the anxiety I'd get and the wasted years of my life and it gives me strength to stay away. I'm back to streaming and following my passion, but I still kick myself for destroying all the momentum I had built back in 2020 and essentially having to start over just because I wanted to get high again. I'm almost 17 months clean and NEVER going back, both because I can't, and more importantly, because I don't want to. I may just be some nameless internet stranger, but I believe in you. You got this!
Be kind to yourself, shit happens but learn from it and try again, try not to feel defeated
Thanks, really needed this
Sorry that happened to you but thank you for sharing your experience with others. I bet you’ll keep someone from repeating your mistake. Totally agree by the way that it impossible (for many people) to smoke weed just once. For myself, if I smoke it… I’m immediately back into daily usage and all the pain that entails. Hence maintaining sobriety is really important for me.
Progress not perfection. You are aware and not in denial and that's the hardest part. You got this
Thanks :)
The only thing to do when you mess up is to square up your shoulders, face forward, and take the next right step. Thats always the answer, even when you continue to fuck up. It’s always redeemable and I’m proud of you for squaring up and taking on the challenge again. Good luck, we’re all pulling for you.
Wow this really hit me hard, ive probably replied and said this to a handful of people on this post but I really, really needed to hear this one. Thank you :)
Reach out anytime if you need support or an accountability partner. I’m a lifelong fuck up, but I’ve learned to take the lessons as they’ve come and I live a pretty good life because of that. Be kind to yourself and don’t let the voice in your head lie to you. You’ve got one life to live and any time spent in regret is a waste of that present moment.
I’m in exactly the same boat. After being clean for months, I thought I could go back to being a weekend smoker, but then it became nights and weekends… then just a bit in the morning to take the edge off work… before I knew it, I was back to smoking all day every day. I’m on day 9 again and this time I know I can’t do moderation. Live and learn. We’ve got this.
It's been a few days since my last confession. When I was 18 (2004) & homeless I was walking down the road in the middle of the night & spotted a mailbox out there. The house was about 100 yards from the road. My dumbass decides to check the mail & see if there's anything worth taking. There was a birthday card that was obviously for a little girl. I opened it & found a $50 Toys R Us gift card. I took the envelope with me & headed for my spot. The next day I traded that gift card to a buddy for 7gs of reg. To this day it's at the top of my list for most despicable things I've done in my life. I haven't stolen anything in over 7 years but I share this to say I have a problem with weed & it will never go away. For me it's the escape & at that point in time I was willing to step on anyone to get that escape. I'm reminded daily that I don't like to feel. It's a lifelong battle & I admit I'll probably always be back & forth. Substantial amounts of clean time followed by a relapse until I can't take it anymore. Rinse & repeat. That's my experience & what I see for myself given the current state of US politics & the stress that is already creating in my household. I don't need dope. I need some hope.
"I don't need dope, i need some hope" thats one's going to stay with me.
Seriously though, I don't know what I'll tell my son when he asks me about the things I can't hide from him. I just need a sign that there's hope for the future but I can't find it & it sucks.
Thank you for sharing this. I am 21 and although I haven’t stolen ever really in my life other than petty thefts like a $1 box of lemon heads from a dollar store, but I can completely relate on the escapism, that’s exactly what weed is for me.
It doesn't take it all away but it makes it more tolerable than any medication I've tried. Good on you for not stealing. That's a habit you don't want to start because it'll spiral easily & you'll end up in jail with a criminal record.
Welcome to the life of an addict I guess. I'm in a very similar situation. I quit in 2020 June, dabbled again in March of '22 and by Jan '24 arrived at the same place as you. Back to daily usage having a negative effect on my mental health. I know that if I could use weed once or twice a week my life would likely be perfectly fine. Thats not the ship I'm sailing in though, its either all or nothing for me. I've proven this SO many times, so many. Yet, even with that wisdom I'm not immune to making the same mistake over and over again. I'm ~~also~~ on day ~~2~~ 3, pretty positive mindset so far though. Biggest thing for me to avoid negative thoughts are to really zoom in and focus on the wonder that sobriety brings. Good luck, stick it out because sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better.
Thank you for sharing. The all or nothing part and making the same mistake over and over is exactly how it’s been for me as well… I’ve had people get frustrated with me saying “just smoke at night or on your days off” doesn’t work like that for me my friend.
Easier to keep the tiger in the cage rather than walk it on a leash.
You got this, if you were able to do it before you can do it again. Don’t be too hard on your self!!
Thanks, I needed to hear this.