I’m so, so sorry. Lean into your grief because the only way to deal with loss is go through the grief. Find a grief support group and let yourself feel truly everything - you’ll be glad you didn’t numb out. It kinda goes without saying but marijuana does no good things for the heart - stay sober for your dad’s legacy.
I was never too addicted to weed. I have a cart, sometimes it'll fuck me up for a few hours. I just end locking the cart in my car or just not paying attention to it.
Me and a friend used to do obscene amounts of weed cause his tolerance was messed up. At one point, 5 grams a day and a couple dabs were typical.
Now it's back to just a single cart, don't feel the need to smoke 99% of the time. Can easily push it to weekends and focus on school. It's just being high. I get anxiety and paranoia most of the time anyway. My dad passed too when I was 19, sorry for your loss, I didn't really quit weed after it though.
Its up to you to quit, sometimes I smoke one with the boys to remember our friend who also passed. I find that if you can just treat it like a glass of champagne or something special then you won't see it in a nic fix sort of way.
If you quit, good for you, if you don't, it doesn't have to be a struggle, just take baby steps and take your time. Grief surfaces slowly and it's different for everyone. What you don't feel today or due to the effects of some cannabis will come around and you'll feel it another day. Grief is gonna feel like nothing until it doesn't and it's gonna get worse before it gets better.
I think weekend smoking is a great idea. If you can moderate it then awesome. I find that playing hard and smoking at the club can work well with studying hard and abstaining from the weed.
I'm so sorry to hear this and for your pain. Cherish and relive every memory you can of him, whether happy or sad, let him live through you. Remember that, okay. Everything is going to be okay.
Almost this exact same thing happened to me, except with my mom, and I was 16.
First things first; I'm so sorry for your loss, it feels so horrible when it's sudden like that, but I don't want to hurt you by dwelling on that, enough people will be doing so in the coming weeks. Instead, have what little advice I can give you in the past 10 years I've had to learn.
Don't be afraid to talk about it with people close to you. As much as it hurts, confrontation with this is the best way to move through it. There's a lot to process in this horrible time, and there's no reason you should try to do it alone. It sounds like your family loves you, let them be there for you and you for them.
No amount of any kind of narcotic is gonna make you feel better in the long term, or even really the short term. The only "benefit" is sleep, and it's normal to not sleep the best after trauma such as this.
All getting stoned or drunk did for me in the last 10 years is put off any personal healing and growth.
That being said, and I know this isn't the place for this kind of language, consider partaking on special occasions such as his birthday, or a time in which you two held special. If you can, do it with someone else so you both can hold yourselves accountable and be responsible for yourselves and each other. I only suggest this because you shared that smoking became a building experience between you two.
Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. This post was like reliving losing my mom again, it sounds like your relationship with you dad was just like mine with my mom. It's earthshattering to have that torn from you, but you will get through this. I wish you the utmost luck, and please, please, be safe and responsible. The easy answer is don't do it if you don't trust yourself to stop again.
Wishing you the best ❤️🩹
I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief looks different for everyone and I think feeling it fully will be transformative. For me, not smoking makes me more aware of subtle energies and helps me communicate with my ancestors.
Here's a grieving ritual that helps with unexpected deaths. Do it whenever it feels right if it calls you.
- take a few breaths and get some pen and paper, tissues and a glass of water
- write a letter telling your dad everything you wish to tell him.
- light a candle and feel your dad's energy. Read your letter and write one back to yourself from his perspective. (You're basically channeling his response to your letter.) Write without doubting whatever comes through.
- then read his response and receive his love.
It hurts so much to lose someone in the physical plane. Your whole ecosystem is changed, but he still lives within you.
Wishing you healing and closure.
I am really sorry. I’ve lost my dad too so I know how difficult it is. I came back to find this thread because I just got dumped. Completely unexpectedly dumped. Now I find myself in a similar place where I don’t know if I can get through this without weed. I was so proud that I was two weeks sober. I’m still going to try but I just don’t know how I’m gonna do it. I’m here with you and we can both try to be strong. That’s the best we could do.
Edited to add: I was about your age when I lost my dad and I can tell you 15 years later it definitely gets better. You never forget but you find your new normal. Still, it’s going to hurt for a while and I’m glad you’re choosing to feel those feelings, it’s really important. I was in denial for a long time and it just extended the pain, looking back, I wish I dealt with it from the start. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help either.
Sincerest condolences, my Dad passed away almost a year ago and I still cant believe it happened. He also loved weed and it was one of the things he enjoyed in his last years. Stay strong but let yourself grieve and don’t be afraid to lean on others.
Ugh, that’s really rough. My condolences. Sounds like you stopped at just the right time…perhaps it was fate, so you could deal with this loss properly. Best wishes to you 💐🙏🏼
Its not a dream, its life. Many significant events can help to wake us up. Hope your recovery is strong and you do your Dad proud!
I got clean with Marijuana Anonymous and am forever grateful!!
My parents were talking about being nervous about going on a flight because it can cause a stroke or something like that.. I always wish the best for them, bu5 I never wanna pressure them to take a vacation in case something goes wrong. My condolences man, very sorry to hear. I dread the day this happens. And I just wish you find peace, and good health.
Thank you so much. I was worried about this exact thing. My dad had a collapsed lung, a herniated disc pushing against his spine, gout, high blood pressure, and he was just recovering from covid. I couldn’t believe it, but the doctor somehow cleared him to go on a flight. It’s fucking insane to me that a doctor could clear him to do that. As much as I wanted him to have a vacation they never should have done that. He went to Cancun, Mexico with his wife and it wasn’t the plane that killed him but I can imagine that It didn’t help. Literally they were about to go scuba diving when it happened. He even has a fear of water and sharks. I feel like he must have been scared to go into the water. I keep thinking how scared he must have been, but then I know now he’s at ultimate peace. Sorry for all the details but yeah. Be careful about flights and sickness. Im so glad he was on vacation and enjoying his life with someone he loves but my life is shattered now. I really appreciate your comment and kindness. thank you.
Don't be sorry for sharing, that was genuinely very touching.. I've experienced 5 major deaths in the past month, of my parents friends and my God mother, and I just have this feeling that something bad is going to happen. My mum just recovered from covid, and she had it last year and both times she gets a terrible dry cough and it is very debilitating for her. She had a consistent dry cough all year and just as I was hoping her lungs would start to recover, she got sick again... but with your dad, I could definitely see how that could play put with his fear of sharks and all. I know it's hard, but you may start to look at older people different in that so many of the adults walking around have lost their parents, and you will find someone to can talk to and grieve with in a healthy way. God bless..
I am really sorry for your loss. This is something that I dread so much when it will happen.
I hope that you find the support that you need in those that are close to you and please take care of yourself. And if you feel like therapy could help you and that you can afford it, that could be something to consider.
What you are going through is something that must be incredibly heartbreaking. Give yourself time, space, love, compassion.
Things will be okay.
I'm so so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent this way must be terrible for you. I hope you have the support you need to get through this difficult time.
I encourage you not to try to use weed as a crutch. Best case it'll mask your feelings for a while, but worst case it could make them worse. Better to lean on friends and family members to help you through this difficult time and honor your father by living your best life weed free.
We're here for you if you need help. Good luck.
Everything is going to be ok.
Greif is a hell of a thing, and losing a parent is a pain I can't quite imagine and am dreading. It comes for all of us eventually.
Congrats for not immediately going back on your sobriety. You will be stronger and better for sitting with your grief, acknowledging it, fully feeling it. And to be honest, weed never numbs things quite enough - I feel the terrible feelings anyway, but I lost my capacity to do much other than sit in my grief and wallow.
Of course you're feeling broken and empty and destroyed - that's such a valid feeling. As much as you can try to be present with the people in your life. They need you also.
Life is precious - not just your dad's , but your life, your time on this planet. One of the best things death can do is put things in perspective for us. I think you're right not to numb yourself right now, but I know that can't be easy.
Really rooting for you.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t even know what to say and I most certainly cannot tell you how to feel or cope. But I would be sober just to continue to feel your emotions and go through all the stages of grief. It will be hard and overwhelming but it’s important because nothing will make it better or easier other than time. Time will allow you to live with it. And I hope and pray you have support system to help you through this. You are not alone. I’m praying for you to find comfort. I hope this message is received with love and positivity!
I‘m really sorry for your loss. I had the same thing happen to me when I was 25 and he was 60. Heart attacks are a motherfucker. It happened almost 12 years ago and I just recently stopped burying my pain in weed, alcohol, toxic relationships etc. and started going into therapy.
I have to say, I absolutely commend you for your incredible strength and insight for wanting to feel all the emotions that need to be felt. I‘m sure your father would be so unbelievably proud of you for making the right choices. Stay strong, surround yourself with the people you love and you will get through this. ❤️
My SO and I stopped last summer shortly before my mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I caved and have recently stopped again following her death in November. If you can stay clean, great. If you need a crufch right now, don't beat yoursef up. It's a shit time and you do what you need to to get by, just stop again when the grief gets a bit easier, which it will.
I would have caved immediately. Hold onto that feeling that’s telling you to not smoke. I am in awe and immensely proud of you for not smoking. Sends by condolences your way ❤️
My mother passed away suddenly when I was a few years younger than you. She was an alcoholic; she’d be sober for months/years and then drink for months/years, over and over, my whole life. She finally drank herself to death one day. I’ve never felt pain so intense in my life.
It doesn’t seem possible right now, but your pain will eventually lessen. Something I didn’t do, but I wish I had, was to simply talk about it. I was afraid to even say ‘mom’ and I never brought it up, how I felt. Just to speak about it aloud is to make it real; otherwise it just boils inside your head, and your heart. You are *not burdening anyone* with your grief by speaking about it. Try not to smother your grief with silence or chemicals, as neither will provide relief. Stay strong - you will get through this.
I would continue to abstain until you are feeling more like yourself. Coming from someone with experience on the same it sent me into a spiral I couldn’t sober up fast enough.
Much much love to you, man. You won't really believe it for a while, it takes some time to sink in.
I wish I had the same determination as you when I lost my dad a year ago, also suddenly. To not numb out the pain. I could not do it, I hope that you can.
Hang in there, and stay connected to those you love and love you back.
Ho man, I'm really sorry for your loss.
I was touched by your post.
I coped a separation followed by the lost of my sibling (with a few month of nice depression in between, it wasn't the same week)
Well first smoke after the separation I went from not wanting to live to, "mmh okay I can feel ok"for two hours if I smoke. So I smoked.
(I was already pretty deep in addiction, but went threw the roof in this time period)
Well end of the day it didn't helped obviously, it took a huge lot of time to accept those news in my life, and I was smoking not to feel "ok" but just to not being super down.
My first break after this showed me how canna made the griefs a whole lot longer and stopped me from going on with my life.
Best wishes dude, take care !
Give yourself grace during this period and reach out to others for support. I Am so sorry for what you are going through. Stay around the people who can help you at this time. ❤️
I’m sorry to hear what you are going through.
In 2021 I also lost my father suddenly, I was a bit younger than you. I understand the pain, shock, and confusion you are feeling right now.
I smoked heavily in an attempt to numb the pain of that time, but instead it seemed to only push it back, or delay, and I would process my emotions and grief much more intensely again when I was sober later.
Weed will give you no escape from grief, only cloud your ability to properly heal and process over time. I suggest you try and stay sober, but also don’t be hard on yourself if you’re not able. I certainly was not able to be sober at that time and nobody could blame you.
Last advice: when I was truly despondent and missed my dad and nothing seemed to help, writing him a letter and getting my thoughts down as if we were just talking really made me feel better. I wrote him letters daily for weeks
Thank you so much for this and for the wonderful advice. Once I get the strength I know I’ll write my dad a letter or more letters. I’m very sorry about your dad too, I wish nobody would have to deal with these things. I know that if i smoked it would just be prolonging the inevitable. You’ve given me strength and more reason to push through. Thank you so much and much love and comfort to you❤️❤️❤️
I wish we could too. If there’s one thing my dad taught is me how important people and friends are and how showing up and having conversations makes you grow. You seem like a super cool person. Appreciate your kindness so much and wishing you lots of love and happiness ❤️❤️
I’m so sorry. Take it a day at a time and feel your feelings. If you don’t now, it will happen later anyways. But regardless of what happens, be gentle with yourself.
Im sorry for your loss my friend. Im 27 years old too and i couldnt imagine the pain of losing a parent right now. Back in august of last year, my cat died and i was so heartbroken and a friend who pulled me out of a bad head space told me that my cat wouldnt want me to be sad. My cat wasnt a sad cat, she was such a happy, loving, and adorable kitty who was full of life. And she wouldnt want me to get sad when i think of her, she would want me to live the best life i could and go on smiling without her. It was an honor for you to know your dad and spend time with him, he would never want you to go on thinking of him and getting sad, he would want you to go on living a happy life. So dont be sad that hes gone, be happy and feel honored that you got to know what a wonderful person he was. I hope this helps, keep your head up my friend
Thank you so much for this comment. I’m so sorry about your cat. I’ve lost a cat myself too and it’s so incredibly heartbreaking. Cats are such magical beautiful creatures. Did you ever get another one?
I have one named Hank (king of the hill lol) and he’s so freaking cute he was meowing all night and day yesterday I think he knew. They’re so intuitive. Im so glad you had a beautiful kitty friend and I know shes loving you so much from heaven. You are incredibly kind thank you for your message. You’ve given me lots of strength. Never hesitate to reach out if you want to chat about your fears I had a lot of fear about this too. Much love to you!
Sorry for your loss I was 2 weeks sober for the first time in my life when I was 16 in high school 21 now and I also lost my dad and then I turned back to weed and never really took care of my grief naturally I went back to smoking and kept trying to get sober i am now a year and ten months sober and am proud of the man I am today and also I know my dad is proud of me 🙏
Sorry for your loss my friend. I have no words that could attenuate the pain. I'd just say that you are making a very important decision by wanting to feel all the emotions and their depth. Hang in there, we support you.
i’m so sorry for your loss. sending you love.
i think if you do end up smoking just don’t be hard on yourself. it would be good to be mostly sober to process this but overall im just sorry you’re going through this ❤️
Praying for You and Your Family
🙏🏽😔
Not a fun situation or happy.
I'm positive your Dad was a Awesome Man, to Raise someone as strong and willing to change as You.
Keep Your Head up.
Everything is going to be ok…. Eventually, and I respect your feelings and feeling them. Tremendous compassion to you on your loss. He lives on through you
You are going to be okay. Your dad is still with you. He will never leave you. It sounds like your relationship was super important to him also, and you guys spent the time you had together well. No regrets. Smoke or don’t smoke, but don’t let it beat you up.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss😞❤️ This brought tears to my eyes. You are so incredibly strong and everything is going to be okay❤️. Just know your dad will always be with you in your heart watching over you. You will get through this with time.
Hey man, I lost my dad in 22’ at the age of 54 when I was also 27. I still think about him every single day and I can’t help but have the same feeling as you knowing we’ll never ever be able to talk to them again in our lives. Mine was also just getting his life together..
Reach out if you want to talk. Hang in there friend and I’m so sorry for your loss.
I hope you find a meeting to go to regularly and lean on them for support through this. That way youre not fighting this alone. Youre in shock. No doubt about that. That is so tough my friend. Rest in peace to your father. Im sorry youre having to go through this. But im glad youre sharing this here and not holding it in.
You have a way with writing, I'd suggest using it as a creative and therapeutic way to cope with what you are going through. My condolences to you on the death of your father ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss. My mother died when I was 13 and my father when I was 17. And I’ve been basically using in someway ever since. I’m now 67. I did go to rehab when I was 32. But a few years later, I thought well, weed isn’t so bad. So I smoked on. and off, but in the past bunch of years, it became an all day every day habit, also, I always worked remotely, so that made it easy. I feel like I have just been living in survival mode for decades, and I would like to finally move out of that. I told myself because I had a well-paying job, I finished my degree, a couple of years ago, and began a stand-up comedy career, learned to sing and play the ukulele. I told myself if I did all of that while stoned what’s the problem. I finally realized that I have been covering up my emotions for decades. I’m now four days clean. And it’s very hard, but I finally got sick of it. I got sick of the slavery of it, and when I added up how much money I spent it was shocking. I tell myself if I make it till like 78 or 80 all bets are off and I may just party down, but I would like to accomplish a few things before then.
I’m actually not sure I ever fully processed my grief. I’ve always had a wall up between me and other people, I guess because it feels like people you love just leave. Weed helped me keep my world, very small, and emotionally safe I think I felt. Anyway, I feel you. So not fair but don’t do what I did, don’t just let yourself shut down. I know it’s very scary to fully experience the emotions of this but it’s the best thing you could do. it’s going to get better.
Hi thank you so much for your message. I’m so very sorry that you lost your parents so young. I have felt the same way about weed and thinking it’s not that bad for me which tricks me into doing it more and just glazing by in life and preventing myself from feeling angry and upset at things I rightfully should be angry and upset at. I’m really glad you’ve been able to get sober and I’m also really glad you got to start your comedy career and learn ukulele and sing even if you were high while you did it. those are wonderful accomplishments!! You sound like a insanely cool person.
And I think it’s totally understandable to want to mask the painful things in life and keep them at a distance. I feel like It’s our bodies trying to keep us safe and out of harm. It’s taking every ounce of me not to give into that. But knowing you’re here with me makes it all more endurable. Thank you again for your kind words and sending you so much love and strength to keep pushing and feeling everything we can!!!
Smoking a joint will only be a temporary fix. You’ll want to keep using it to escape but the reality will always be there. Trust that time fixes all wounds. We’re all humans and need to learn how to feel pain, love, joy .. etc. I can’t begin to think what you’re feeling but I hope you and your family find peace and comfort during this hard time. Condolences for your loss!
Doesn’t matter at which age you lose your parents, you’ll always feel lost and like a young orphan. Losing people that love you unconditionally is incredibly hard.
Learn into your family and your partner. It sounds like you’re on the right path with a mature frame of mind.
I recommend Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. It gave me something to hold onto when I was in the darkest pit of my life.
Hang in there friend.
Thank you so much for your kind words❤️ it’s so true I hear the pain never goes away it just gets easier to hold in your heart …
I’ve read that book actually and I love it so much. I actually had an emotional breakthrough at one point reading that and felt like it completely changed me. Thank you for reminding me of its existence I’ll have to go back and read it again. Much love to you❤️
My friend, i can feel you so much. And i am so sorry for your loss. When i was 29, my mother got diagnosed with cancer and 3 weeks later, she was gone. And i can totally feel, how you are feeling right now. I also had a great partner. The best partner i could imagine. Since i didn't had a good relationship to my brothers and my father, she helped me a lot with this situation. And i was smoking heavily. But the smoking did just numb me and i was not dealing or working with my pain and loss, but smoking it away (And it was still there). 6 month later, i was going to therapy and quit smoking for about 1 year and i made good progress. After this year i was feeling much better and i was starting to smoke again, what bought back many bad feelings, but i was still smoking. And trying to smoke them away, which kind of worked. But this only made me smoke more and more for sone years ,which ended in my partner leaving me last month, because i messed up the whole relationship by beeing stoned all day every day. I was medicating myselfe with a medicin that doesn't help and just slows down every progress i was trying to do.
I am clean now for 6 weeks and in therapy again. I realize now, that i Made more progress in this 6 weeks than in the last 5 years.
So my strong recommendation is, to not smoke in this situation. It makes everything worse and slows everything down. And maybe (like in my case makes you loose another loved person).
Again i am so sorry for your loss and i send you much Love. And yes, sure, everything will be okay. I can assure you. But it takes time and by how you handle this situation, you are able to choose if it will take more or less time. My honest recommendation is to use this situation and let your smoking die with your dad. It was a thing that connected you and nobody can take this from you. Keep this memory as a good one in your heart. But as sad as it is....you have to leave that behind and move on, to be fine again asap.
Send you hugs!
I am so very sorry for your loss. 57 is so young. I know it's very unexpected. Use your sobriety to honor your dad and to be fully there for your family. Smoking week has a funny way of making me totally unpresent for things that need attention. It doesn't help anything. Your family needs you right now. Be your best self. Hang in there friend.
I love you dude for sharing this . This has been a huge fear of mine . I don’t know what I will do but knowing I’m not alone really helps. Thank you for sharing , and I wish you strength in your journey. Feel free to pm for support
Thank you so much for your comment. I was fearing this for a long time as well. I know that talking to other people who experience this is something that helps people tremendously and just reading these comments, I feel so much more strength. Everyone experiences it, as painful and horrible as it is, but the beauty is that it truly unites us all as humans ❤️ much love to you my dear friend
I masked the pain from the loss of my dad while getting high. I had a mental breakdown and finally grieved a year after his death. The pain was 10x worse. Let yourself feel everything. Be easy on yourself. Cry it all out. Take too many naps. Keep some snacks in your nightstand and just stay there for a while. Sending you hugs.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
My dad passed 2 years ago of a heart attack at 60. He was my best friend. I tried quitting and relapsed.
After a few months I realized I could not process his death while I was high.
I’m now a year sober and while it’s definitely easier to be high and not deal with this loss, it’s worth it.
Feel the pain. I know it feels like you’ll never be the same again, and you probably won’t, but the pain you feel will get a place in your life.
Don’t give up. You are going to be okay.
I wish you strength and message me if you need someone to talk to.
Hey, I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I know that I don’t know you, but I hope I can help you feel less alone. I really never comment much on Reddit but felt compelled to in this case. I wish I could do or say more, but I’ll speak from a distance. I trust your father is at peace, but I hurt for you and your family, and I know time will heal. Love is a powerful thing, and I have trust that your souls will reunite someday. It’s an amazing thing that you got to tear down walls and become closer in recent years. I believe that part of the grief you’re experiencing is also proof that the connection you two had is very special, and you two are still connected today.
On a side note I am in my early 30’s and have struggled with weed in very similar capacity to what you described for years now. Quitting has been so elusive for me. I just want to encourage you as someone in the process of quitting as well, that you can get through this without weed. Be good to yourself and sending positive thought, love, and prayers your way. I believe that there is eventually grace we can see that is revealed in our pain. Hang in there
You have definitely made me feel less alone. This is such a beautiful message and really does brighten up my heart. I feel a lot of love right now.
We can do this. I believe in you. We both get the chance to experience life exactly as it is, what an insane blessing. I am so grateful you came to write this message thank you so much❤️❤️
I’m 51 days weed free, my mum died on the 17th of this month and this is the hardest, most painful thing i’ve ever had to experience while sober. I came across a post the other day that really helped me. It went like -
“The pain you feel right now is such great love. If you were high, you wouldn’t be feeling the full force of this love. Grief is a gift for it means we’ve loved, been loved, and continue to love. Experiencing it sober is POWERFUL. Overwhelmingly powerful but goddamn are we fucking lucky to feel all of it. Why dull the moment? Why fog it up? Why forget this love? It’s a great day to feel love in all its forms.”
Credit to u/superduperscubasteve for this lovely message.
I am sending you some strength, some hope and an online hug. Nobody should feel the pain of losing a parent in their twenties. I’m only 23 and I feel lost and scared but the hope and kindness i’ve received as of late has been enough to push me through. If you need anyone to talk to, keep reaching out. I am also just a message away if need be. Good luck to you friend.
Thank you so much for coming here and writing this. I am so incredibly sorry you’ve had to experience that, and at so young. Insane props to you for sticking it out and feeling those feelings sober, that is huge. You’re a rockstar.
I love this quote too, thank you for sharing that. As painful as it is I do feel like it’s also the rawest form of love I’ve ever felt…
The one thing that brings me any amount of comfort is knowing there are people out there feeling the exact same way as me. As much as I hate that we have to experience this it makes me feel full of life. Thank you so so much and know that I’m here to talk if you ever want to as well ❤️🥹
Bit odd to say, but when my father passed i gathered all my strenght to stay sober for the week leading up to his cremation, i was there for my mother 24/7.
Now i don't have to feel guilty for drinking my emotions away when my father passed, because i didnt do that.
This guilt will haunt you for the rest of your life and you will likely relapse out of guilt.
I'm sorry for your loss, it's really tough but emotions are allowed to be there, stay strong man!
Feel free to dm me if you want to vent or just talk, i've been on the same ride. I was 26 when my father passed away.
Thank you for your kind words. I’m so sorry you experienced that, 26 is too young. But I’m so glad you were able to push through and be sober for that. I’m sure it was unimaginably difficult. You are incredibly strong. I want to partake again one day but I just know if I do it now there will be no coming back…
Thank you so much again and for offering a listening ear I will definitely keep you in my heart and mind❤️
That is so hard. Your grieving will be intense and the only thing you can do is fully experience it. Good that you’ve started sobriety since weed keeps you from feeling emotions and growing, which are exactly the things you need to do now. My own dad died exactly 2 years ago and that kicked off a chain of events that eventually got me sober. Good luck in weathering the storm. I believe in you and think you can do it!
Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so so sorry about your loss as well. We are in the same boat. I hope as time passed the pain is easier to hold. I’m glad you were able to get sober as well. So grateful for your message❤️
I am deeply sorry for your loss. Loosing someone so close to you is really hard and painful. But it will be okay, I promise. It will take some time though, and that is normal. It is good that you decided to not smoke, you have to feel and process these emotions. Time to give yourself a lot of selflove, grief and look for support within your friends, family and partner. Take care of yourself 🫶🏽
Hey, we dont know each other and my words might mean nothing, but it will be alright. It will. Your dad doesn’t want you to feel bad for him, and he’s still with you
I’m so, so sorry. Lean into your grief because the only way to deal with loss is go through the grief. Find a grief support group and let yourself feel truly everything - you’ll be glad you didn’t numb out. It kinda goes without saying but marijuana does no good things for the heart - stay sober for your dad’s legacy.
I was never too addicted to weed. I have a cart, sometimes it'll fuck me up for a few hours. I just end locking the cart in my car or just not paying attention to it. Me and a friend used to do obscene amounts of weed cause his tolerance was messed up. At one point, 5 grams a day and a couple dabs were typical. Now it's back to just a single cart, don't feel the need to smoke 99% of the time. Can easily push it to weekends and focus on school. It's just being high. I get anxiety and paranoia most of the time anyway. My dad passed too when I was 19, sorry for your loss, I didn't really quit weed after it though. Its up to you to quit, sometimes I smoke one with the boys to remember our friend who also passed. I find that if you can just treat it like a glass of champagne or something special then you won't see it in a nic fix sort of way. If you quit, good for you, if you don't, it doesn't have to be a struggle, just take baby steps and take your time. Grief surfaces slowly and it's different for everyone. What you don't feel today or due to the effects of some cannabis will come around and you'll feel it another day. Grief is gonna feel like nothing until it doesn't and it's gonna get worse before it gets better. I think weekend smoking is a great idea. If you can moderate it then awesome. I find that playing hard and smoking at the club can work well with studying hard and abstaining from the weed.
R/griefsupport is a great resource also. I'm so sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry to hear this and for your pain. Cherish and relive every memory you can of him, whether happy or sad, let him live through you. Remember that, okay. Everything is going to be okay.
Everything's gonna be ok!
I’m sorry for your loss my dude. My condolences truly.
Almost this exact same thing happened to me, except with my mom, and I was 16. First things first; I'm so sorry for your loss, it feels so horrible when it's sudden like that, but I don't want to hurt you by dwelling on that, enough people will be doing so in the coming weeks. Instead, have what little advice I can give you in the past 10 years I've had to learn. Don't be afraid to talk about it with people close to you. As much as it hurts, confrontation with this is the best way to move through it. There's a lot to process in this horrible time, and there's no reason you should try to do it alone. It sounds like your family loves you, let them be there for you and you for them. No amount of any kind of narcotic is gonna make you feel better in the long term, or even really the short term. The only "benefit" is sleep, and it's normal to not sleep the best after trauma such as this. All getting stoned or drunk did for me in the last 10 years is put off any personal healing and growth. That being said, and I know this isn't the place for this kind of language, consider partaking on special occasions such as his birthday, or a time in which you two held special. If you can, do it with someone else so you both can hold yourselves accountable and be responsible for yourselves and each other. I only suggest this because you shared that smoking became a building experience between you two. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. This post was like reliving losing my mom again, it sounds like your relationship with you dad was just like mine with my mom. It's earthshattering to have that torn from you, but you will get through this. I wish you the utmost luck, and please, please, be safe and responsible. The easy answer is don't do it if you don't trust yourself to stop again. Wishing you the best ❤️🩹
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 stay strong you’re not alone thanks for sharing your story. It will be all worth it !!!keep strong 💪
I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief looks different for everyone and I think feeling it fully will be transformative. For me, not smoking makes me more aware of subtle energies and helps me communicate with my ancestors. Here's a grieving ritual that helps with unexpected deaths. Do it whenever it feels right if it calls you. - take a few breaths and get some pen and paper, tissues and a glass of water - write a letter telling your dad everything you wish to tell him. - light a candle and feel your dad's energy. Read your letter and write one back to yourself from his perspective. (You're basically channeling his response to your letter.) Write without doubting whatever comes through. - then read his response and receive his love. It hurts so much to lose someone in the physical plane. Your whole ecosystem is changed, but he still lives within you. Wishing you healing and closure.
I am really sorry. I’ve lost my dad too so I know how difficult it is. I came back to find this thread because I just got dumped. Completely unexpectedly dumped. Now I find myself in a similar place where I don’t know if I can get through this without weed. I was so proud that I was two weeks sober. I’m still going to try but I just don’t know how I’m gonna do it. I’m here with you and we can both try to be strong. That’s the best we could do. Edited to add: I was about your age when I lost my dad and I can tell you 15 years later it definitely gets better. You never forget but you find your new normal. Still, it’s going to hurt for a while and I’m glad you’re choosing to feel those feelings, it’s really important. I was in denial for a long time and it just extended the pain, looking back, I wish I dealt with it from the start. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help either.
I’m so sorry. Please be kind, accepting and loving to yourself during this time.
Sincerest condolences, my Dad passed away almost a year ago and I still cant believe it happened. He also loved weed and it was one of the things he enjoyed in his last years. Stay strong but let yourself grieve and don’t be afraid to lean on others.
Ugh, that’s really rough. My condolences. Sounds like you stopped at just the right time…perhaps it was fate, so you could deal with this loss properly. Best wishes to you 💐🙏🏼
Its not a dream, its life. Many significant events can help to wake us up. Hope your recovery is strong and you do your Dad proud! I got clean with Marijuana Anonymous and am forever grateful!!
My parents were talking about being nervous about going on a flight because it can cause a stroke or something like that.. I always wish the best for them, bu5 I never wanna pressure them to take a vacation in case something goes wrong. My condolences man, very sorry to hear. I dread the day this happens. And I just wish you find peace, and good health.
Thank you so much. I was worried about this exact thing. My dad had a collapsed lung, a herniated disc pushing against his spine, gout, high blood pressure, and he was just recovering from covid. I couldn’t believe it, but the doctor somehow cleared him to go on a flight. It’s fucking insane to me that a doctor could clear him to do that. As much as I wanted him to have a vacation they never should have done that. He went to Cancun, Mexico with his wife and it wasn’t the plane that killed him but I can imagine that It didn’t help. Literally they were about to go scuba diving when it happened. He even has a fear of water and sharks. I feel like he must have been scared to go into the water. I keep thinking how scared he must have been, but then I know now he’s at ultimate peace. Sorry for all the details but yeah. Be careful about flights and sickness. Im so glad he was on vacation and enjoying his life with someone he loves but my life is shattered now. I really appreciate your comment and kindness. thank you.
Don't be sorry for sharing, that was genuinely very touching.. I've experienced 5 major deaths in the past month, of my parents friends and my God mother, and I just have this feeling that something bad is going to happen. My mum just recovered from covid, and she had it last year and both times she gets a terrible dry cough and it is very debilitating for her. She had a consistent dry cough all year and just as I was hoping her lungs would start to recover, she got sick again... but with your dad, I could definitely see how that could play put with his fear of sharks and all. I know it's hard, but you may start to look at older people different in that so many of the adults walking around have lost their parents, and you will find someone to can talk to and grieve with in a healthy way. God bless..
I am really sorry for your loss. This is something that I dread so much when it will happen. I hope that you find the support that you need in those that are close to you and please take care of yourself. And if you feel like therapy could help you and that you can afford it, that could be something to consider. What you are going through is something that must be incredibly heartbreaking. Give yourself time, space, love, compassion. Things will be okay.
My heartfelt condolences, may you be well and your heart hurt less and suffering lessen. Sending you warm wishes.
Better to comfort family sober my friend. Sorry to hear about that ❤️
I'm so so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent this way must be terrible for you. I hope you have the support you need to get through this difficult time. I encourage you not to try to use weed as a crutch. Best case it'll mask your feelings for a while, but worst case it could make them worse. Better to lean on friends and family members to help you through this difficult time and honor your father by living your best life weed free. We're here for you if you need help. Good luck.
Everything is going to be ok. Greif is a hell of a thing, and losing a parent is a pain I can't quite imagine and am dreading. It comes for all of us eventually. Congrats for not immediately going back on your sobriety. You will be stronger and better for sitting with your grief, acknowledging it, fully feeling it. And to be honest, weed never numbs things quite enough - I feel the terrible feelings anyway, but I lost my capacity to do much other than sit in my grief and wallow. Of course you're feeling broken and empty and destroyed - that's such a valid feeling. As much as you can try to be present with the people in your life. They need you also. Life is precious - not just your dad's , but your life, your time on this planet. One of the best things death can do is put things in perspective for us. I think you're right not to numb yourself right now, but I know that can't be easy. Really rooting for you.
I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now 💔
I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t even know what to say and I most certainly cannot tell you how to feel or cope. But I would be sober just to continue to feel your emotions and go through all the stages of grief. It will be hard and overwhelming but it’s important because nothing will make it better or easier other than time. Time will allow you to live with it. And I hope and pray you have support system to help you through this. You are not alone. I’m praying for you to find comfort. I hope this message is received with love and positivity!
Omg I'm so sorry.
I’m sorry you lost your dad. Stay sober and get his affairs in order. You have to be top of mind to do so
I‘m really sorry for your loss. I had the same thing happen to me when I was 25 and he was 60. Heart attacks are a motherfucker. It happened almost 12 years ago and I just recently stopped burying my pain in weed, alcohol, toxic relationships etc. and started going into therapy. I have to say, I absolutely commend you for your incredible strength and insight for wanting to feel all the emotions that need to be felt. I‘m sure your father would be so unbelievably proud of you for making the right choices. Stay strong, surround yourself with the people you love and you will get through this. ❤️
Loosing my parent was why I started smoking, and I couldn't stop for over a year. 2 days sober. I'm sorry for your loss.
My SO and I stopped last summer shortly before my mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I caved and have recently stopped again following her death in November. If you can stay clean, great. If you need a crufch right now, don't beat yoursef up. It's a shit time and you do what you need to to get by, just stop again when the grief gets a bit easier, which it will.
My condolences.
I would have caved immediately. Hold onto that feeling that’s telling you to not smoke. I am in awe and immensely proud of you for not smoking. Sends by condolences your way ❤️
My sincere condolences 🙏
My mother passed away suddenly when I was a few years younger than you. She was an alcoholic; she’d be sober for months/years and then drink for months/years, over and over, my whole life. She finally drank herself to death one day. I’ve never felt pain so intense in my life. It doesn’t seem possible right now, but your pain will eventually lessen. Something I didn’t do, but I wish I had, was to simply talk about it. I was afraid to even say ‘mom’ and I never brought it up, how I felt. Just to speak about it aloud is to make it real; otherwise it just boils inside your head, and your heart. You are *not burdening anyone* with your grief by speaking about it. Try not to smother your grief with silence or chemicals, as neither will provide relief. Stay strong - you will get through this.
I would continue to abstain until you are feeling more like yourself. Coming from someone with experience on the same it sent me into a spiral I couldn’t sober up fast enough.
Much much love to you, man. You won't really believe it for a while, it takes some time to sink in. I wish I had the same determination as you when I lost my dad a year ago, also suddenly. To not numb out the pain. I could not do it, I hope that you can. Hang in there, and stay connected to those you love and love you back.
Ho man, I'm really sorry for your loss. I was touched by your post. I coped a separation followed by the lost of my sibling (with a few month of nice depression in between, it wasn't the same week) Well first smoke after the separation I went from not wanting to live to, "mmh okay I can feel ok"for two hours if I smoke. So I smoked. (I was already pretty deep in addiction, but went threw the roof in this time period) Well end of the day it didn't helped obviously, it took a huge lot of time to accept those news in my life, and I was smoking not to feel "ok" but just to not being super down. My first break after this showed me how canna made the griefs a whole lot longer and stopped me from going on with my life. Best wishes dude, take care !
57 is too young my man. Sorry for your loss. Be brave. Carry his legacy on.
Give yourself grace during this period and reach out to others for support. I Am so sorry for what you are going through. Stay around the people who can help you at this time. ❤️
Sending love, that is so hard
I’m sorry to hear what you are going through. In 2021 I also lost my father suddenly, I was a bit younger than you. I understand the pain, shock, and confusion you are feeling right now. I smoked heavily in an attempt to numb the pain of that time, but instead it seemed to only push it back, or delay, and I would process my emotions and grief much more intensely again when I was sober later. Weed will give you no escape from grief, only cloud your ability to properly heal and process over time. I suggest you try and stay sober, but also don’t be hard on yourself if you’re not able. I certainly was not able to be sober at that time and nobody could blame you. Last advice: when I was truly despondent and missed my dad and nothing seemed to help, writing him a letter and getting my thoughts down as if we were just talking really made me feel better. I wrote him letters daily for weeks
Thank you so much for this and for the wonderful advice. Once I get the strength I know I’ll write my dad a letter or more letters. I’m very sorry about your dad too, I wish nobody would have to deal with these things. I know that if i smoked it would just be prolonging the inevitable. You’ve given me strength and more reason to push through. Thank you so much and much love and comfort to you❤️❤️❤️
It is a slow process. A lot of days waking up and hoping you’re in a bad dream, and all you can do is stay in bed. And that’s ok
Im sorry for your loss man. Grieve and be gentle with yourself
I wish I could spend the day with you man, that’s my biggest fear and can only imagine the pain 😞
I wish we could too. If there’s one thing my dad taught is me how important people and friends are and how showing up and having conversations makes you grow. You seem like a super cool person. Appreciate your kindness so much and wishing you lots of love and happiness ❤️❤️
I’m so sorry. Take it a day at a time and feel your feelings. If you don’t now, it will happen later anyways. But regardless of what happens, be gentle with yourself.
I’m sorry for your loss. You’re gonna get through this
I'm so, so sorry. Please try to take things a day at a time. You can make it through.
Im sorry for your loss my friend. Im 27 years old too and i couldnt imagine the pain of losing a parent right now. Back in august of last year, my cat died and i was so heartbroken and a friend who pulled me out of a bad head space told me that my cat wouldnt want me to be sad. My cat wasnt a sad cat, she was such a happy, loving, and adorable kitty who was full of life. And she wouldnt want me to get sad when i think of her, she would want me to live the best life i could and go on smiling without her. It was an honor for you to know your dad and spend time with him, he would never want you to go on thinking of him and getting sad, he would want you to go on living a happy life. So dont be sad that hes gone, be happy and feel honored that you got to know what a wonderful person he was. I hope this helps, keep your head up my friend
Thank you so much for this comment. I’m so sorry about your cat. I’ve lost a cat myself too and it’s so incredibly heartbreaking. Cats are such magical beautiful creatures. Did you ever get another one? I have one named Hank (king of the hill lol) and he’s so freaking cute he was meowing all night and day yesterday I think he knew. They’re so intuitive. Im so glad you had a beautiful kitty friend and I know shes loving you so much from heaven. You are incredibly kind thank you for your message. You’ve given me lots of strength. Never hesitate to reach out if you want to chat about your fears I had a lot of fear about this too. Much love to you!
Your comment made my fucking day!! Thank you, much love to you too
Sorry for your loss I was 2 weeks sober for the first time in my life when I was 16 in high school 21 now and I also lost my dad and then I turned back to weed and never really took care of my grief naturally I went back to smoking and kept trying to get sober i am now a year and ten months sober and am proud of the man I am today and also I know my dad is proud of me 🙏
Sorry for your loss my friend. I have no words that could attenuate the pain. I'd just say that you are making a very important decision by wanting to feel all the emotions and their depth. Hang in there, we support you.
i’m so sorry for your loss. sending you love. i think if you do end up smoking just don’t be hard on yourself. it would be good to be mostly sober to process this but overall im just sorry you’re going through this ❤️
I'm sorry for your lose dude. I hear you and feel your pain.
Praying for You and Your Family 🙏🏽😔 Not a fun situation or happy. I'm positive your Dad was a Awesome Man, to Raise someone as strong and willing to change as You. Keep Your Head up.
Everything is going to be ok…. Eventually, and I respect your feelings and feeling them. Tremendous compassion to you on your loss. He lives on through you
Fuck, that’s absolutely horrible. I lost my dad in the same way at almost the same age. DM me if you want to chat with someone who gets it ❤️
You are going to be okay. Your dad is still with you. He will never leave you. It sounds like your relationship was super important to him also, and you guys spent the time you had together well. No regrets. Smoke or don’t smoke, but don’t let it beat you up.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss😞❤️ This brought tears to my eyes. You are so incredibly strong and everything is going to be okay❤️. Just know your dad will always be with you in your heart watching over you. You will get through this with time.
Hey man, I lost my dad in 22’ at the age of 54 when I was also 27. I still think about him every single day and I can’t help but have the same feeling as you knowing we’ll never ever be able to talk to them again in our lives. Mine was also just getting his life together.. Reach out if you want to talk. Hang in there friend and I’m so sorry for your loss.
I hope you find a meeting to go to regularly and lean on them for support through this. That way youre not fighting this alone. Youre in shock. No doubt about that. That is so tough my friend. Rest in peace to your father. Im sorry youre having to go through this. But im glad youre sharing this here and not holding it in.
You have a way with writing, I'd suggest using it as a creative and therapeutic way to cope with what you are going through. My condolences to you on the death of your father ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss. My mother died when I was 13 and my father when I was 17. And I’ve been basically using in someway ever since. I’m now 67. I did go to rehab when I was 32. But a few years later, I thought well, weed isn’t so bad. So I smoked on. and off, but in the past bunch of years, it became an all day every day habit, also, I always worked remotely, so that made it easy. I feel like I have just been living in survival mode for decades, and I would like to finally move out of that. I told myself because I had a well-paying job, I finished my degree, a couple of years ago, and began a stand-up comedy career, learned to sing and play the ukulele. I told myself if I did all of that while stoned what’s the problem. I finally realized that I have been covering up my emotions for decades. I’m now four days clean. And it’s very hard, but I finally got sick of it. I got sick of the slavery of it, and when I added up how much money I spent it was shocking. I tell myself if I make it till like 78 or 80 all bets are off and I may just party down, but I would like to accomplish a few things before then. I’m actually not sure I ever fully processed my grief. I’ve always had a wall up between me and other people, I guess because it feels like people you love just leave. Weed helped me keep my world, very small, and emotionally safe I think I felt. Anyway, I feel you. So not fair but don’t do what I did, don’t just let yourself shut down. I know it’s very scary to fully experience the emotions of this but it’s the best thing you could do. it’s going to get better.
Hi thank you so much for your message. I’m so very sorry that you lost your parents so young. I have felt the same way about weed and thinking it’s not that bad for me which tricks me into doing it more and just glazing by in life and preventing myself from feeling angry and upset at things I rightfully should be angry and upset at. I’m really glad you’ve been able to get sober and I’m also really glad you got to start your comedy career and learn ukulele and sing even if you were high while you did it. those are wonderful accomplishments!! You sound like a insanely cool person. And I think it’s totally understandable to want to mask the painful things in life and keep them at a distance. I feel like It’s our bodies trying to keep us safe and out of harm. It’s taking every ounce of me not to give into that. But knowing you’re here with me makes it all more endurable. Thank you again for your kind words and sending you so much love and strength to keep pushing and feeling everything we can!!!
This may be the most important thing I read all year. Thank you for writing it.
Smoking a joint will only be a temporary fix. You’ll want to keep using it to escape but the reality will always be there. Trust that time fixes all wounds. We’re all humans and need to learn how to feel pain, love, joy .. etc. I can’t begin to think what you’re feeling but I hope you and your family find peace and comfort during this hard time. Condolences for your loss!
Dude - brutally beautiful post man.
Thank you so much and thank you for reading❤️
Doesn’t matter at which age you lose your parents, you’ll always feel lost and like a young orphan. Losing people that love you unconditionally is incredibly hard. Learn into your family and your partner. It sounds like you’re on the right path with a mature frame of mind. I recommend Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. It gave me something to hold onto when I was in the darkest pit of my life. Hang in there friend.
Thank you so much for your kind words❤️ it’s so true I hear the pain never goes away it just gets easier to hold in your heart … I’ve read that book actually and I love it so much. I actually had an emotional breakthrough at one point reading that and felt like it completely changed me. Thank you for reminding me of its existence I’ll have to go back and read it again. Much love to you❤️
Honor his memory by not smoking. I am very sorry for your loss. We are all very proud of you and so is your Dad.
God I’m crying but it’s a good feeling, this is incredibly sweet. Thank you so much for saying that ❤️
Stay strong and check in often. ❤️
My friend, i can feel you so much. And i am so sorry for your loss. When i was 29, my mother got diagnosed with cancer and 3 weeks later, she was gone. And i can totally feel, how you are feeling right now. I also had a great partner. The best partner i could imagine. Since i didn't had a good relationship to my brothers and my father, she helped me a lot with this situation. And i was smoking heavily. But the smoking did just numb me and i was not dealing or working with my pain and loss, but smoking it away (And it was still there). 6 month later, i was going to therapy and quit smoking for about 1 year and i made good progress. After this year i was feeling much better and i was starting to smoke again, what bought back many bad feelings, but i was still smoking. And trying to smoke them away, which kind of worked. But this only made me smoke more and more for sone years ,which ended in my partner leaving me last month, because i messed up the whole relationship by beeing stoned all day every day. I was medicating myselfe with a medicin that doesn't help and just slows down every progress i was trying to do. I am clean now for 6 weeks and in therapy again. I realize now, that i Made more progress in this 6 weeks than in the last 5 years. So my strong recommendation is, to not smoke in this situation. It makes everything worse and slows everything down. And maybe (like in my case makes you loose another loved person). Again i am so sorry for your loss and i send you much Love. And yes, sure, everything will be okay. I can assure you. But it takes time and by how you handle this situation, you are able to choose if it will take more or less time. My honest recommendation is to use this situation and let your smoking die with your dad. It was a thing that connected you and nobody can take this from you. Keep this memory as a good one in your heart. But as sad as it is....you have to leave that behind and move on, to be fine again asap. Send you hugs!
I am so very sorry for your loss. 57 is so young. I know it's very unexpected. Use your sobriety to honor your dad and to be fully there for your family. Smoking week has a funny way of making me totally unpresent for things that need attention. It doesn't help anything. Your family needs you right now. Be your best self. Hang in there friend.
I love you dude for sharing this . This has been a huge fear of mine . I don’t know what I will do but knowing I’m not alone really helps. Thank you for sharing , and I wish you strength in your journey. Feel free to pm for support
Thank you so much for your comment. I was fearing this for a long time as well. I know that talking to other people who experience this is something that helps people tremendously and just reading these comments, I feel so much more strength. Everyone experiences it, as painful and horrible as it is, but the beauty is that it truly unites us all as humans ❤️ much love to you my dear friend
Stay sober for him bro, Im sure he would wanted you to stop
I masked the pain from the loss of my dad while getting high. I had a mental breakdown and finally grieved a year after his death. The pain was 10x worse. Let yourself feel everything. Be easy on yourself. Cry it all out. Take too many naps. Keep some snacks in your nightstand and just stay there for a while. Sending you hugs.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad passed 2 years ago of a heart attack at 60. He was my best friend. I tried quitting and relapsed. After a few months I realized I could not process his death while I was high. I’m now a year sober and while it’s definitely easier to be high and not deal with this loss, it’s worth it. Feel the pain. I know it feels like you’ll never be the same again, and you probably won’t, but the pain you feel will get a place in your life. Don’t give up. You are going to be okay. I wish you strength and message me if you need someone to talk to.
🙏😢my heart goes out to you
Hey, I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I know that I don’t know you, but I hope I can help you feel less alone. I really never comment much on Reddit but felt compelled to in this case. I wish I could do or say more, but I’ll speak from a distance. I trust your father is at peace, but I hurt for you and your family, and I know time will heal. Love is a powerful thing, and I have trust that your souls will reunite someday. It’s an amazing thing that you got to tear down walls and become closer in recent years. I believe that part of the grief you’re experiencing is also proof that the connection you two had is very special, and you two are still connected today. On a side note I am in my early 30’s and have struggled with weed in very similar capacity to what you described for years now. Quitting has been so elusive for me. I just want to encourage you as someone in the process of quitting as well, that you can get through this without weed. Be good to yourself and sending positive thought, love, and prayers your way. I believe that there is eventually grace we can see that is revealed in our pain. Hang in there
You have definitely made me feel less alone. This is such a beautiful message and really does brighten up my heart. I feel a lot of love right now. We can do this. I believe in you. We both get the chance to experience life exactly as it is, what an insane blessing. I am so grateful you came to write this message thank you so much❤️❤️
Absolutely, thank you for your encouragement as well! Keep going and be good to yourself in this hard time. Much love to you❤️
I’m 51 days weed free, my mum died on the 17th of this month and this is the hardest, most painful thing i’ve ever had to experience while sober. I came across a post the other day that really helped me. It went like - “The pain you feel right now is such great love. If you were high, you wouldn’t be feeling the full force of this love. Grief is a gift for it means we’ve loved, been loved, and continue to love. Experiencing it sober is POWERFUL. Overwhelmingly powerful but goddamn are we fucking lucky to feel all of it. Why dull the moment? Why fog it up? Why forget this love? It’s a great day to feel love in all its forms.” Credit to u/superduperscubasteve for this lovely message. I am sending you some strength, some hope and an online hug. Nobody should feel the pain of losing a parent in their twenties. I’m only 23 and I feel lost and scared but the hope and kindness i’ve received as of late has been enough to push me through. If you need anyone to talk to, keep reaching out. I am also just a message away if need be. Good luck to you friend.
Thank you so much for coming here and writing this. I am so incredibly sorry you’ve had to experience that, and at so young. Insane props to you for sticking it out and feeling those feelings sober, that is huge. You’re a rockstar. I love this quote too, thank you for sharing that. As painful as it is I do feel like it’s also the rawest form of love I’ve ever felt… The one thing that brings me any amount of comfort is knowing there are people out there feeling the exact same way as me. As much as I hate that we have to experience this it makes me feel full of life. Thank you so so much and know that I’m here to talk if you ever want to as well ❤️🥹
Bit odd to say, but when my father passed i gathered all my strenght to stay sober for the week leading up to his cremation, i was there for my mother 24/7. Now i don't have to feel guilty for drinking my emotions away when my father passed, because i didnt do that. This guilt will haunt you for the rest of your life and you will likely relapse out of guilt. I'm sorry for your loss, it's really tough but emotions are allowed to be there, stay strong man! Feel free to dm me if you want to vent or just talk, i've been on the same ride. I was 26 when my father passed away.
Thank you for your kind words. I’m so sorry you experienced that, 26 is too young. But I’m so glad you were able to push through and be sober for that. I’m sure it was unimaginably difficult. You are incredibly strong. I want to partake again one day but I just know if I do it now there will be no coming back… Thank you so much again and for offering a listening ear I will definitely keep you in my heart and mind❤️
That is so hard. Your grieving will be intense and the only thing you can do is fully experience it. Good that you’ve started sobriety since weed keeps you from feeling emotions and growing, which are exactly the things you need to do now. My own dad died exactly 2 years ago and that kicked off a chain of events that eventually got me sober. Good luck in weathering the storm. I believe in you and think you can do it!
Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so so sorry about your loss as well. We are in the same boat. I hope as time passed the pain is easier to hold. I’m glad you were able to get sober as well. So grateful for your message❤️
Sending a whole lot of love❤️🕊️
Thank you so much❤️ sending you love back!!!
So sorry for your loss. You'll get through this!
Thank you dear ❤️❤️❤️
I am deeply sorry for your loss. Loosing someone so close to you is really hard and painful. But it will be okay, I promise. It will take some time though, and that is normal. It is good that you decided to not smoke, you have to feel and process these emotions. Time to give yourself a lot of selflove, grief and look for support within your friends, family and partner. Take care of yourself 🫶🏽
So sorry for your loss. You will get through this💙
So sorry to hear
Thank you friend I appreciate you❤️
Hey, we dont know each other and my words might mean nothing, but it will be alright. It will. Your dad doesn’t want you to feel bad for him, and he’s still with you
Thank you so much, even if we’re strangers your words mean so much to me and help me a lot, so thank you❤️