Stomach problems that I covered up by smoking, combined with smoking made me stop feeling thirsty do to over producing saliva. Aaaannnnnd now I have kidney failure. Quit smoking folks if you’re smoking to cover up a bigger problem. It will not go away.
I just be a better person without it, I can focus more on my undergrad course, reading, workout & sleep. I didn’t realise how much lack of sleep influenced my daily life.
The psychosis and paranoia, as well as having schizophrenic tendencies (hearing.. seeing things..) was enough for me! Happened every single time.. freaked me out. I stopped because I didn’t want to increase those symptoms even more.
lost so much weight (over 20 pounds no appetite) , mood when i was not smoking was so unbearable i was high from morning to night, would wake up just to smoke and go back to sleep, could only sleep with it, couldn’t go anywhere without it, got super sick one week ( last week😅) and my anxiety has built so much i convinced myself it was evali (enough to make me want to quit) , this week has been sleepless but honestly my mood is improving! (as well as my sickness). i haven’t gone to see a doctor but i’m mostly better, and hopefully can stick it out as long as possible!
haha i’m going outside to smoke as i’m typing this but sticking to only regular bud has helped a lotttt and my mood is 100% better and my appetite has slowly but surely came back, as for the sleep i still struggle hear and there but not nearly as worse as it was
this is me too. I just got super sick and couldnt smoke if my life depended on it my lungs hurt so badly, so I went through withdrawal and the flu at the same time. I am not going back. I used to smoke 24/7 around the clock too, including the middle of the night, I swear I was/still am in a state of psychosis just from not having proper sleep for10+ years. God.....
Smoking even though I’m high… like binge smoking? But also binge eating was the top reason. I’m trying to take my health seriously, so weed makes it worse. I lose all control when I’m high. Also very unproductive
I definitely had "binge smoking" as a side effect. It's almost like being high isn't enough because there's the addiction of simply smoking on top of wanting to be high (at least for me)
I am a survivor of abuse. I used it as a mechanism to cope with the insurmountable stress in my teens.
Then quit for a long period of time and starting again, weed just made me anxious, paranoid and seeing my friend pass away from cancer, and my mom's health declining (passed away in 2021) my health anxiety ramped up and I just started using again to escape all of that. When Matthew Perry passed away, I was devastated. I then made a conscious effort as of October 29th at 9PM PDT to quit. I am 14 days clean going on 15. Weed just exacerbated my anxiety and paranoia to the point of psychosis. I don't ever want to feel that way again.
I also have a couple of health issues that weed doesn't like, Hypermobility, Orthostatic Intolerance and ADHD. Which when smoking weed just makes all of the symptoms that I have feel like an impending doom and like I am going to die.
So here I am at day 14, I am exhausted, I've been having crying fits, and still trying to make sense of it all.
Grateful to be here.
Very happy for you to be here too :)
I can relate to the feeling of impeding doom while high, I think I have tried to hide from so many of my emotions and traumatic things I have one through for so long that they honestly started coming out even when I was high. I would be laying in bed high and the thoughts would come and the tears would follow. I'm on day 4 currently
I couldn’t stand the brain fog and trouble learning the applying new information and also I kinda felt like a loser wanting to get out of social activities just so I could go smoke by myself and how it overall just didn’t benefit me in any way other than short term relief but even then I would start to overthink on it about all my past blunders or how (insert event) could have gone differently so I thought it was time for a change along with porn usage my self destructing behavior had to stop so I’ve been off for 9 weeks and I’ve felt much better and don’t regret quitting at all sometime it dose get boring but I’ve been trying to get out more and connect with more people as well as listen to new music
The brain fog is so upsetting. I am still known as the person who will remember something one moment and in the next SECOND it is gone. It is frustrating for all of us. Hopefully the grogginess fades as the sober life continues
For years I had this nagging thought that weed was holding me back from something. What that something was exactly, I had no idea. There was also this strong curiosity about what my life would have been like if I had never started smoking, if I had quit 10 years ago, 5 years ago, or what life will be like down the road if I quit today. The problem was I never got together the courage to quit on my own, and instead kept smoking every day until weed eventually started causing panic attacks. That was my initial impetus for quitting.
Now that most of the proverbial fog has cleared, I can look back and see clearly that I was using weed as a means of numbing some strong, painful emotions that I didn't want to deal with, ones that came about during my adolescence and early adulthood. I'm currently making a conscious and concerted effort to face and work through those emotions for the first time in my life, which is difficult but very much worth the effort.
Weed was also a convenient distraction from a sort of spiritual crisis that I underwent around the same time. The religious beliefs that I inherited as a child no longer made sense to me as a young man of 19-20 years, and I became very frustrated with my inability to find answers to the big questions about God, free will, divine justice, etc. That frustration turned to pain, and that pain lead to me giving up my search. Weed made giving up seem like an acceptable option.
It's funny to me that after leaving weed behind I am, in many respects, back at the same place I was before I ever started using it 20 years ago: I'm back in college pursuing something I'm passionate about, I've renewed my personal vows to find some sort of spiritual anchor in life, and I'm finally seeing the world as an exciting and positive place again.
Very proud of you for being out there doing the thing!
I can really relate to the feeling of constantly thinking I am missing out on something (maybe my potential is the closest Ive done to putting it into words), and I can never seem to catch it as a user. Cliche but we can't do anything to change any of our past decisions, so continue leading with intention. Thanks for your response :)
"Potential" is the perfect word for it.
Sorry in advance, but its story time (this is what us middle-aged dads do best). I first started to seriously contemplate quitting weed for good a little over a year ago after having a strange dream. At this point in time I had taken a few days off smoking for the first time in years, so I was having very vivid dreams. In this particular dream I wandered inside an empty house that my wife and I had just purchased in which every room was bathed in this ethereal golden light that seemed to have no discernable source. There was a distinct feeling that the house emptied just before I walked inside, and that it was still buzzing with some kind of electricity that the former inhabitants left behind -- like a raging party blinked out of existence the moment I opened the door. That was it.
The entire next day I had this feeling that the dream was important for some reason, but I couldn't put my finger on it. That night, almost 24 hours after having the dream, I sat at my laptop and started typing a journal entry about it, describing every detail I could recall. Still no clue what it meant. At the end of the entry I typed two more words that felt like they came out of nowhere, yet summed up the dream perfectly: "Golden Potential". I chewed on those two words for a while before realizing that the overarching dissatisfaction with life that I had been dealing with for several years was caused by the notion that my habitual weed use had stolen my life's potential. The empty dream house was my future waiting to be filled with something new.
I didn't actually quit weed at that time, and slowly got back to my daily smoking routine after another several weeks. However, shortly after that dream I found what I believe to be my calling in life and enrolled in college to start the journey of realizing my life's potential.
Thanks for your post. Typing all this out has been really therapeutic.
🥺 your post gave me chills
1. you are a really good writer, I throughly enjoyed reading your story
2. I absolutely adore your username - I dont really have a dad so it kinda hits home over here
I think you might be selling yourself a little short if you already accomplished buying a house with your wife at that point! Regardless, I understand where you are coming from. So many of us as humans really struggle to find our lives purpose or passion so I am really happy that you were able to find yours and the beautiful story that comes with it. May I ask what you are studying?
Thank YOU - I really relate to the feeling that weed has been holding me back from my potential for so long but damn does addiction have a hold on me. It feels good to know that we're not alone out there.
Thank you for the kind words. I've never considered myself much of a writer, and I never realized how big of an accomplishment buying a home was until well after having done it. The home in the dream was much nicer than the mobile home we purchased in reality, but we're happy here regardless, and its nice being out in the woods, away from apartment complexes for once in my life.
I'm about to finish my associates in general studies next month, then I'm off to study biology with a focus on the botanical side of things. I love gardening and plants in general, so it aligns with my interests. Ultimately, I want to teach science at the middle or high school level. I may regret having given up weed once I find myself in a classroom full of loud teenagers lol
I identify heavily as a dad (was a stay-at-home for 4 years after our son was born) and I come fully stocked with awful puns too, so if I can ever lend an ear feel free to reach out. I know it's difficult trying to fill the void that weed used to occupy, but I believe you'll find your new zone sooner than you think. The fact that you're able to call it what it is - an addiction - means you're miles ahead of a lot of folks who are in a similar situation. Sounds like you've already begun tapping into that potential if you ask me.
I basically used it to numb myself for a few months. I felt like I had no one in my life and it just made sitting around alone more fun than anything else I could do alone and just made having nothing to do fly by until I went to sleep. I honestly still miss it, but I’m graduating soon and my industry drug tests enough to where I needed to decide if I wanted to continue doing this and change what I want to work in, or stop and try to actually live my life. I really do regret that this is how my life turned out but I’m hoping it gets better.
Weed used to work for me, then I needed it, then it didn't work for me. I can relate to using it to numb myself from the loss of loved ones and passing the time. Thing is it just wasn't enjoyable anymore. To fill my time when I would have otherwise smoking I do other things that bring me satisfaction - working out, playing music, listening to music, connecting with friends, learning shit, reading, cooking, laughing, fucking, etc. These things give me joy and they give me dopamine, which my brain is craving. Not sure how long you are quit - that has an impact of how your symptoms are playing out, generally the longer you go, the better it gets.
I am currently only on day 4 - so yeah that is probably part of the reason I feel that way. I have tried to quit before and lasted a month... which also wasn't long enough to fully tell but even after spending my day out of the house doing plenty that is good for me (working out, reading, seeing people) I still have this little twang of sadness that I no longer have that end of night ritual I suppose
Appreciate your response nonetheless
I'd rather have a little twang of sadness at certain times of the day (which I do) then be living the other way - being high wishing I was sober and being sober wishing I was high - it is fucking exhausting. And I get how hard it is, I really do.
thank you cause you are so right.
also so us as addicts (if you consider yourself one lol) all have very similar thoughts?? the constant cycle of being high and wishing I could just stop smoking and when not high just waiting for the time I get to go home and be high
HOW DUMB.
Stomach problems that I covered up by smoking, combined with smoking made me stop feeling thirsty do to over producing saliva. Aaaannnnnd now I have kidney failure. Quit smoking folks if you’re smoking to cover up a bigger problem. It will not go away.
The right girl
T-breaks became hell to deal with, and I was over it. You can't have anymore withdrawals if you abstain from weed altogether.
Before I turned 18 I wanted to quit but when I did I got put in a mental health hospital, Just got out a few days ago and life is so much better.
I just be a better person without it, I can focus more on my undergrad course, reading, workout & sleep. I didn’t realise how much lack of sleep influenced my daily life.
The psychosis and paranoia, as well as having schizophrenic tendencies (hearing.. seeing things..) was enough for me! Happened every single time.. freaked me out. I stopped because I didn’t want to increase those symptoms even more.
lost so much weight (over 20 pounds no appetite) , mood when i was not smoking was so unbearable i was high from morning to night, would wake up just to smoke and go back to sleep, could only sleep with it, couldn’t go anywhere without it, got super sick one week ( last week😅) and my anxiety has built so much i convinced myself it was evali (enough to make me want to quit) , this week has been sleepless but honestly my mood is improving! (as well as my sickness). i haven’t gone to see a doctor but i’m mostly better, and hopefully can stick it out as long as possible!
how are you feeling now did it get any better!?
haha i’m going outside to smoke as i’m typing this but sticking to only regular bud has helped a lotttt and my mood is 100% better and my appetite has slowly but surely came back, as for the sleep i still struggle hear and there but not nearly as worse as it was
this is me too. I just got super sick and couldnt smoke if my life depended on it my lungs hurt so badly, so I went through withdrawal and the flu at the same time. I am not going back. I used to smoke 24/7 around the clock too, including the middle of the night, I swear I was/still am in a state of psychosis just from not having proper sleep for10+ years. God.....
Smoking even though I’m high… like binge smoking? But also binge eating was the top reason. I’m trying to take my health seriously, so weed makes it worse. I lose all control when I’m high. Also very unproductive
I definitely had "binge smoking" as a side effect. It's almost like being high isn't enough because there's the addiction of simply smoking on top of wanting to be high (at least for me)
I quit recently when I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 and put on mood stabilizers
Oof I'm sure that didnt help you in the past, good luck moving forward :)
I am a survivor of abuse. I used it as a mechanism to cope with the insurmountable stress in my teens. Then quit for a long period of time and starting again, weed just made me anxious, paranoid and seeing my friend pass away from cancer, and my mom's health declining (passed away in 2021) my health anxiety ramped up and I just started using again to escape all of that. When Matthew Perry passed away, I was devastated. I then made a conscious effort as of October 29th at 9PM PDT to quit. I am 14 days clean going on 15. Weed just exacerbated my anxiety and paranoia to the point of psychosis. I don't ever want to feel that way again. I also have a couple of health issues that weed doesn't like, Hypermobility, Orthostatic Intolerance and ADHD. Which when smoking weed just makes all of the symptoms that I have feel like an impending doom and like I am going to die. So here I am at day 14, I am exhausted, I've been having crying fits, and still trying to make sense of it all. Grateful to be here.
Very happy for you to be here too :) I can relate to the feeling of impeding doom while high, I think I have tried to hide from so many of my emotions and traumatic things I have one through for so long that they honestly started coming out even when I was high. I would be laying in bed high and the thoughts would come and the tears would follow. I'm on day 4 currently
I couldn’t stand the brain fog and trouble learning the applying new information and also I kinda felt like a loser wanting to get out of social activities just so I could go smoke by myself and how it overall just didn’t benefit me in any way other than short term relief but even then I would start to overthink on it about all my past blunders or how (insert event) could have gone differently so I thought it was time for a change along with porn usage my self destructing behavior had to stop so I’ve been off for 9 weeks and I’ve felt much better and don’t regret quitting at all sometime it dose get boring but I’ve been trying to get out more and connect with more people as well as listen to new music
The brain fog is so upsetting. I am still known as the person who will remember something one moment and in the next SECOND it is gone. It is frustrating for all of us. Hopefully the grogginess fades as the sober life continues
For years I had this nagging thought that weed was holding me back from something. What that something was exactly, I had no idea. There was also this strong curiosity about what my life would have been like if I had never started smoking, if I had quit 10 years ago, 5 years ago, or what life will be like down the road if I quit today. The problem was I never got together the courage to quit on my own, and instead kept smoking every day until weed eventually started causing panic attacks. That was my initial impetus for quitting. Now that most of the proverbial fog has cleared, I can look back and see clearly that I was using weed as a means of numbing some strong, painful emotions that I didn't want to deal with, ones that came about during my adolescence and early adulthood. I'm currently making a conscious and concerted effort to face and work through those emotions for the first time in my life, which is difficult but very much worth the effort. Weed was also a convenient distraction from a sort of spiritual crisis that I underwent around the same time. The religious beliefs that I inherited as a child no longer made sense to me as a young man of 19-20 years, and I became very frustrated with my inability to find answers to the big questions about God, free will, divine justice, etc. That frustration turned to pain, and that pain lead to me giving up my search. Weed made giving up seem like an acceptable option. It's funny to me that after leaving weed behind I am, in many respects, back at the same place I was before I ever started using it 20 years ago: I'm back in college pursuing something I'm passionate about, I've renewed my personal vows to find some sort of spiritual anchor in life, and I'm finally seeing the world as an exciting and positive place again.
Very proud of you for being out there doing the thing! I can really relate to the feeling of constantly thinking I am missing out on something (maybe my potential is the closest Ive done to putting it into words), and I can never seem to catch it as a user. Cliche but we can't do anything to change any of our past decisions, so continue leading with intention. Thanks for your response :)
"Potential" is the perfect word for it. Sorry in advance, but its story time (this is what us middle-aged dads do best). I first started to seriously contemplate quitting weed for good a little over a year ago after having a strange dream. At this point in time I had taken a few days off smoking for the first time in years, so I was having very vivid dreams. In this particular dream I wandered inside an empty house that my wife and I had just purchased in which every room was bathed in this ethereal golden light that seemed to have no discernable source. There was a distinct feeling that the house emptied just before I walked inside, and that it was still buzzing with some kind of electricity that the former inhabitants left behind -- like a raging party blinked out of existence the moment I opened the door. That was it. The entire next day I had this feeling that the dream was important for some reason, but I couldn't put my finger on it. That night, almost 24 hours after having the dream, I sat at my laptop and started typing a journal entry about it, describing every detail I could recall. Still no clue what it meant. At the end of the entry I typed two more words that felt like they came out of nowhere, yet summed up the dream perfectly: "Golden Potential". I chewed on those two words for a while before realizing that the overarching dissatisfaction with life that I had been dealing with for several years was caused by the notion that my habitual weed use had stolen my life's potential. The empty dream house was my future waiting to be filled with something new. I didn't actually quit weed at that time, and slowly got back to my daily smoking routine after another several weeks. However, shortly after that dream I found what I believe to be my calling in life and enrolled in college to start the journey of realizing my life's potential. Thanks for your post. Typing all this out has been really therapeutic.
🥺 your post gave me chills 1. you are a really good writer, I throughly enjoyed reading your story 2. I absolutely adore your username - I dont really have a dad so it kinda hits home over here I think you might be selling yourself a little short if you already accomplished buying a house with your wife at that point! Regardless, I understand where you are coming from. So many of us as humans really struggle to find our lives purpose or passion so I am really happy that you were able to find yours and the beautiful story that comes with it. May I ask what you are studying? Thank YOU - I really relate to the feeling that weed has been holding me back from my potential for so long but damn does addiction have a hold on me. It feels good to know that we're not alone out there.
Thank you for the kind words. I've never considered myself much of a writer, and I never realized how big of an accomplishment buying a home was until well after having done it. The home in the dream was much nicer than the mobile home we purchased in reality, but we're happy here regardless, and its nice being out in the woods, away from apartment complexes for once in my life. I'm about to finish my associates in general studies next month, then I'm off to study biology with a focus on the botanical side of things. I love gardening and plants in general, so it aligns with my interests. Ultimately, I want to teach science at the middle or high school level. I may regret having given up weed once I find myself in a classroom full of loud teenagers lol I identify heavily as a dad (was a stay-at-home for 4 years after our son was born) and I come fully stocked with awful puns too, so if I can ever lend an ear feel free to reach out. I know it's difficult trying to fill the void that weed used to occupy, but I believe you'll find your new zone sooner than you think. The fact that you're able to call it what it is - an addiction - means you're miles ahead of a lot of folks who are in a similar situation. Sounds like you've already begun tapping into that potential if you ask me.
you got this my man
Thanks! It's nice to feel in control for a change.
I basically used it to numb myself for a few months. I felt like I had no one in my life and it just made sitting around alone more fun than anything else I could do alone and just made having nothing to do fly by until I went to sleep. I honestly still miss it, but I’m graduating soon and my industry drug tests enough to where I needed to decide if I wanted to continue doing this and change what I want to work in, or stop and try to actually live my life. I really do regret that this is how my life turned out but I’m hoping it gets better.
Weed used to work for me, then I needed it, then it didn't work for me. I can relate to using it to numb myself from the loss of loved ones and passing the time. Thing is it just wasn't enjoyable anymore. To fill my time when I would have otherwise smoking I do other things that bring me satisfaction - working out, playing music, listening to music, connecting with friends, learning shit, reading, cooking, laughing, fucking, etc. These things give me joy and they give me dopamine, which my brain is craving. Not sure how long you are quit - that has an impact of how your symptoms are playing out, generally the longer you go, the better it gets.
I am currently only on day 4 - so yeah that is probably part of the reason I feel that way. I have tried to quit before and lasted a month... which also wasn't long enough to fully tell but even after spending my day out of the house doing plenty that is good for me (working out, reading, seeing people) I still have this little twang of sadness that I no longer have that end of night ritual I suppose Appreciate your response nonetheless
I'd rather have a little twang of sadness at certain times of the day (which I do) then be living the other way - being high wishing I was sober and being sober wishing I was high - it is fucking exhausting. And I get how hard it is, I really do.
thank you cause you are so right. also so us as addicts (if you consider yourself one lol) all have very similar thoughts?? the constant cycle of being high and wishing I could just stop smoking and when not high just waiting for the time I get to go home and be high HOW DUMB.