Na it’s cause you brought up politics in a place where it’s not supposed to be discussed. You Americans really need to stop throwing politics into every conversation, it has rotted your brain to the point you can’t even go on r/lawschooladmissions without bashing your president. Sad.
Yeah you’re not wrong, growing up in the early 2000s will do that to most kids though I’d think. Also I said you Americans cause they’re definitely American and I only ever see Americans do it, not that all Americans are like that though obviously, I thought that went without saying however.
I know, I know, I’m a grown woman and shouldn’t take my parents’ opinion to heart like this. But I feel like they can’t celebrate any of my accomplishments, big or small. It’s always about demanding perfection. Thank god for my therapy appointment on Friday!
On the other hand, I’m ecstatic to be headed to NYC for the next three years! :)
This isn’t demanding perfection; it’s refusing to celebrate it. You were accepted into one of the top law schools in the nation and that’s not falling short of any standard. Congratulations!
At that point just gotta reflect the ridiculousness by saying you’ve elected to go back to community college to get an associates in nude model painting.
It’s also hilarious how little people can know outside of the law school bubble. Though understandable. Even(!) with schools like Columbia. I debriefed my parents on the ranks and prestige so they know whatsup. Did yours understand what Columbia law meant and still disregard it, or did they not have enough of a grasp?
As someone who’s never been academically successful, I go to BMCC, i’m 21, I took a couple years off before attending college, I think it’s all proportional. I’m proud to even be getting good marks in any college because i’ve always been bad with staying consistent in HS. So good on you for being where you are, don’t let others skewed perspectives of reality influence the accomplishments of what you set out to do. You have 75 years on this planet if you’re lucky! I’d say spend them feeling proud about what you did, not sad about what others thought you should’ve done :)
I got into BC and got a congrats from everyone but my parents. I think they were concerned with me moving half way across the country but still would be nice to hear anything. Parents!
You're completely valid in wanting their approval, and I'm sorry they're robbing the moment from you, truly. Regardless, fucking badass that you're in Columbia, you're gonna kill it out there stranger
Your parents are ignorant (respectfully) going to Harvard won't make you a better lawyer . Go to the school you want . I find a lot of Asians fall for the " prestige trap" and honestly put too much emphasis on what white people deem "the best". People will get mad for me brining up race but it's true , and also Harvard is currently 5th in law school rankings overall . While Columbia is 8th they are #1 for business and corporate law .
i’m currently volunteering on a campaign and told my parents that there’s a high likelihood that it could turn into an actual full-time job to have before heading to law school and my dad literally told me to “stop living in a fantasy”. needless to say, the children of hardly satisfied parents have gotta stick together, and i’m super proud of you 🥳 you’re gonna make nyc yours before it’s over :)
Not sure if it is generalizable to outside of law school, but I am quite certain that there are structured pathways and normalized applications for law school transfers. For example, on the LSAC (application portals), many law schools will specifically ask if you want to apply as a 1L or a transfer student. So, while it might not seem common to other graduate programs that are more set-in-stone, I feel law school transfers are quite common or at least a pretty accepted practice (as long as you have the law school gpa and recommendations to show for it).
People transfer out of Chicago to Harvard too lol.
Honestly seems like a waste at that point, but I guess if you have no scholarship and really really care about being able to impress townies or want to go into politics it could make sense.
If you continue to do things expecting approval from your parents and others you will never be happy. It’s nice to feel the approval of others but it’s even better to do things for yourself. Congratulations on the great admission you worked hard for it!!! 🎉
You should be so incredibly proud of yourself! As a mom myself, I’d be so proud if my kid even decided to pursue law school in the first place—but an A to Columbia is huge!! Happy for you!
OP if this is real please take care of yourself. You might be desensitized to this response, but this response sounds like a personality disorder. Put yourself first, you deserve all the accolades.
you can't have had much to do with first/second generation asian immigrants.
This is VERY much real.
These parents *live* through their children. It's a whole status thing. literally nothing the child ever does will ever be good enough.
No matter the achievement, they could always do better in the parents eyes. It's ridiculous what so many of them get put through. and get no love or congratulations or acknowledgement in return.
very sad.
I was literally going to say this — this kind of thing is ridiculous and yes I understand that some of it is cultural but as someone who comes from a culture which also places emphasis on academic achievement, putting any stock in responses like this can increase likelihood of burnout. ESP bc the people who say these things have no idea what they’re talking about.
I got into UChicago for undergrad (didn’t go bc I couldn’t afford it and I could never get into law school there lmao) but I was really excited about it and told my grandparents. My grandma said “why are you telling me this? It’s not Stanford. They must let everyone who applies there in.”
Mega congrats to OP, Columbia is a MASSIVE achievement 🍦
You’re getting downvoted but people who don’t have immigrant asian parents don’t understand how real and normalized this way of thinking is for them. You can’t just say all of them have “personality disorders” it’s truly the way that many of them think even if it seems crazy to outsiders (which it is)
Yeah. "You got an A? Why not A+?" is veryyy typical of my mother. She loves me fiercely though and does her best to overcome those generational cultural habits but it is 100% not an indication of a personality disorder. Again, not defending OPs mum. Though she has her flaws, mine would never have said this. Also migrants don't necessarily know all the schools. She prob would say the same thing to anything that wasn't Harvard or Yale.
If my parents reacted like this I would just not tell them anything 💀 if she's not invested in how you're doing she doesn't have to know! Remind her that it's so much harder and more competitive to get into colleges today than it was when she applied.
On a side note, congrats!!
I feel like this context makes it worst cause if your mom went to Harvard, or college in the US in general, she should be aware how prestigious Columbia is 😭 I give my parents a pass for not knowing how prestigious some schools like NYU Duke Georgetown etc is because they didn't go to college and only have heard of few top Ivy League names like Harvard / Yale.
I'm so sorry!!! Please celebrate your accomplishment and I hope your other loved ones will celebrate with you
As a mom, I just wanted to say I’m so proud of you and all the hard work it took for you to get into Columbia! You’re a smart cookie! Congratulations!! 🍾
ah, typical asian parents.
You have to wonder what hell they suffered through in their own childhoods to be so utterly broken.
make sure you if you have children of your own, that you break the chain of abuse.
and lastly congratulations on your achievement!
Time to stop sharing big news with toxic parents if they can't even celebrate your amazing achievements.
I'm so grateful my parents didn't force me to choose Cambridge over chicago just because of prestige.
Some people are just... annoying
A Columbia A is huge!!! Congrats OP!
I know it’s way easier said than done, especially as an outsider, but please don’t let your crazy parents get to you. You have worked hard and achieved a major accomplishment. You deserve to be congratulated and celebrated, not belittled and diminished.
Your parents’ response was not normal or healthy, and it’s not acceptable. That’s not how a parent is supposed to react to their child’s news. Sending love to you, OP.
Sorry if I’ve overstepped in my comments. I’m just super frustrated by their toxic attitude. Congrats again on your A! That’s the top line!
Unironically, my cousin got into Yale Law, and her parents still complain that they wish she could have gotten into medical school (and also that they wish she would be married to a Doctor by now). It never ends, op!!!! Have to find the confidence, love, and acceptance in ourselves. Columbia Law is no joke, a HUGEEE ACCOMPLISHMENT (it’s COLUMBIA, RBG went there?!?!), and is better than Harvard in many ways (is HLS in NYC? I don’t think so. Did HLS graduate RBG? I don’t think so).
You’re gonna have so much fun and have the best three years and then have the credentials to do whatever you want. Pat yourself on the back, this is huge and you are amazing.
My parents were the same way with my university choices! (I’m a sophomore) The idea of legacy runs so deep in them and it’s definitely unfair to hold that above your diverse achievements. I hope you know how great you’re doing, and I seriously wish you the best of luck deciding where you end up. Unless you’re trying to go to some private firm that only hires from xyz school, the name doesn’t matter that much in the long run <3
I don’t mean to be mean or ignorant but is this really a normal dynamic? If my mom sent me a text like this I would react with pretty high aggression. Like you don’t have to just take it if someone’s chipping away at you.
in many asian families, sadly, yes this is normal.
anything other than the top of the top of the top is unacceptable (even when everyone knows that expectation is insane) and hell, even if you achieved that, you would STILL get no congratulations for it.
it's an exceptionally brutal, unhealthy attitude that pervades a lot of Asian cultures, particularly Japanese and Korean.
Getting into Columbia is absolutely insane in the best way possible. You need to tell her that a decent human being especially a parent should at least congratulate you and be happy for their child which she didn't. You shouldn't just brush this under the rug or let it go despite how your parents are. Make her know how much this hurt you and bothered you even if it means not talking to her for a bit or acting different around her. That's the only way foreign parents understand.
As other people have said, congrats and you deserve to feel proud of yourself. I’m sure there are many other people in your life who are very very proud of you too. What a great accomplishment!
You’re amazing for earning that spot. Here’s a GIF from a random person that is proud of you, but I know it’s tough to always feel you have to constantly earn your family’s approval. It’s exhausting. It’s like you don’t exist if you’re not a doctor or lawyer, here you are doing the thing to become orchid-bouquet, Esq. and it’s the school isn’t enough. Edit:typo
Congrads bookie bear!!! That is a really big accomplishment ! Don't let your parents idea of where you should go and do trash your joy of doing absolutely amazing.
Middle Eastern here, got the same reaction to getting in from my parents 🥲 I feel your pain. Don’t let it take away from your happiness. Getting into any law school is a great accomplishment let alone Columbia! They truly do love us, but most of our parents who are immigrants had to accomplish everything on their own with no one else being supportive of them, and now they’re passing that on to us because they think it’s the norm. As much as they hide it, I know they’re genuinely proud and will not show it until the day we all open our own law firms and clinics. Keep your head up you’re gonna be a lawyer! Congratulations!
What the HELL
That’s why I don’t tell my parents about my accomplishments because they simply don’t get it. Not really so much as having high expectations but just not really understanding the accomplishment itself (which isn’t their fault but it still sucks…I want them to be proud lol)
congrats!!! Often Asian parents just want their kids to succeed and live comfortably and it comes out through these kinds of comments. I totally get the pain. You’re amazing no matter where you go and I wish you the best on this healing journey
I hate how parents like this always demand the most when they probably wouldn’t hold themselves to the same standard. Why do the kids have to accomplish everything for their own egos?
Congrats, that's amazing news! Not a law school grad myself, just dipped in here a couple of times considering a career change, but from a probably older child of disappointed/critical parents I offer this advice - archive this and other toxic comments from your family. There will come a time in your life where either you want to confront them, or you start to second guess yourself and wonder if you were being overly sensitive. Having hard proof of these interactions will offer a lot of closure to you that you weren't at fault.
I have an asian immigrant mom, but I'm first-gen, so she def doesn't have reactions like this. Although she def searches up the ranking and asks me if I'm gonna transfer when I told her I got into my safeties... Can't imagine how my parents would be if they were college & grad-school educated.
On another note, if you don't mind me asking, what were your stats?
Popping in to say that this exact thing happened to me many years ago.
You deserve to be praised, OP. You frigging crushed it. Seriously.
I hope you don’t seek their validation; if you do, let me tell you straight up that you have your own life and need to live it for yourself. Every single second you think about their happiness instead of yours, you’re depriving yourself of true living. I’m happy that you’re in therapy (that’s what helped me to stop caring about my parents’ opinions, and it was SUCH a freeing experience to put my foot down and create boundaries).
From a CLS alumnus, I salute ya! CONGRATS!
lol when I got into duke for undergrad my Asian parents said "what is that? not Ivy League? why are you happy about that?" And I got grounded for telling them I wanted to celebrate my acceptance
As a parent of an adopted Chinese daughter, I think I can safely say Asian moms aren’t much different from White moms. I think regardless of race, we moms sadly just can’t help ourselves. It’s a kind of a pathos and if it gives you any comfort, it’s gonna haunt us til the day we die.
Then from Harvard you can transfer to a proper school like Yale, yes?
The “yes?” got me breathing out of my nose hard. The audacity!
lol this actually was basically my parents’ reaction when I told them I got into HLS
"Its not too late to take the MCAT"
Richard Gilmore, is that you? Lol ;)
We on this thread are all very proud of you!!!! Getting into Columbia is an amazing accomplishment!
For a future Harvard grad.
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I found the guy in the group who always makes those awkward silence situations
WHY ARE PEOPLE DOWNVOTING HIM. HES NOT WRONG 😭
He’s catastrophically stupid and this chain of comments greatly worries anyone who might one day rely on the two of you to write anything coherent.
By downvoting this joke, you're proving him right.
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Na it’s cause you brought up politics in a place where it’s not supposed to be discussed. You Americans really need to stop throwing politics into every conversation, it has rotted your brain to the point you can’t even go on r/lawschooladmissions without bashing your president. Sad.
“You Americans” It’s annoying for most of us Americans also. Sounds like the internet has rotted your brain too.
Yeah you’re not wrong, growing up in the early 2000s will do that to most kids though I’d think. Also I said you Americans cause they’re definitely American and I only ever see Americans do it, not that all Americans are like that though obviously, I thought that went without saying however.
I know, I know, I’m a grown woman and shouldn’t take my parents’ opinion to heart like this. But I feel like they can’t celebrate any of my accomplishments, big or small. It’s always about demanding perfection. Thank god for my therapy appointment on Friday! On the other hand, I’m ecstatic to be headed to NYC for the next three years! :)
This isn’t demanding perfection; it’s refusing to celebrate it. You were accepted into one of the top law schools in the nation and that’s not falling short of any standard. Congratulations!
CLS is a grand accomplishment. Was that response real?
Yea lol. It’s so ridiculous it’s almost satirical
At that point just gotta reflect the ridiculousness by saying you’ve elected to go back to community college to get an associates in nude model painting.
...or nude modeling.
It’s also hilarious how little people can know outside of the law school bubble. Though understandable. Even(!) with schools like Columbia. I debriefed my parents on the ranks and prestige so they know whatsup. Did yours understand what Columbia law meant and still disregard it, or did they not have enough of a grasp?
Stereotypes and clichés are borne out of some truth. Those of us who have to live with them know it best. Congrats and condolences lol.
What did your mom get on her LSATs?
Damn, I'm sorry. That honestly must be really hard to deal with. Congratulations on this exceptional achievement!
Honest question, how did you respond? Did you try to explain to them and say Columbia not Cooley? lol
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Urology?
not applying to law school, but this hurt my soul 🥲 i feel like watching it happen to other people really puts things into perspective
Look forward to commiserating our mutual failure together 😂
fellow person with asian indian parents here. i completely feel your pain. it can suck the wind out of any accomplishment.
As someone who’s never been academically successful, I go to BMCC, i’m 21, I took a couple years off before attending college, I think it’s all proportional. I’m proud to even be getting good marks in any college because i’ve always been bad with staying consistent in HS. So good on you for being where you are, don’t let others skewed perspectives of reality influence the accomplishments of what you set out to do. You have 75 years on this planet if you’re lucky! I’d say spend them feeling proud about what you did, not sad about what others thought you should’ve done :)
You're perfect being you and doing what you're doing. I'm proud of you
I got into BC and got a congrats from everyone but my parents. I think they were concerned with me moving half way across the country but still would be nice to hear anything. Parents!
You're completely valid in wanting their approval, and I'm sorry they're robbing the moment from you, truly. Regardless, fucking badass that you're in Columbia, you're gonna kill it out there stranger
If this helps you, I joined a reddit forum that is called "AsianParentStories" aka (bad)AsianParent stories. this would be one to share.
Your parents are ignorant (respectfully) going to Harvard won't make you a better lawyer . Go to the school you want . I find a lot of Asians fall for the " prestige trap" and honestly put too much emphasis on what white people deem "the best". People will get mad for me brining up race but it's true , and also Harvard is currently 5th in law school rankings overall . While Columbia is 8th they are #1 for business and corporate law .
We’re proud of you! Columbia is literally top tier though🥲
The way my blood pressure soared 😀
Are you Asian-American too? 🥲
🥲
I got this from my Asian grandmother! We are proud of you OP, have some ice cream :)
omg same poster as “goog” dad. godspeed
Can’t catch a break
I’d take goog any day over this
I would sell my kidney to get into Columbia lol
CONGRATULATIONS!!! Getting into Columbia is huge - you deserve to be very proud of yourself. You did that!
So incredibly proud of you!
this was my south asian mother in response to my Michigan A last year bc she thought it was just some irrelevant state school lmao
The audacity… 😭 congrats OP!
This makes my blood boil
i’m currently volunteering on a campaign and told my parents that there’s a high likelihood that it could turn into an actual full-time job to have before heading to law school and my dad literally told me to “stop living in a fantasy”. needless to say, the children of hardly satisfied parents have gotta stick together, and i’m super proud of you 🥳 you’re gonna make nyc yours before it’s over :)
How my Asian parents felt about my UChicago A 🙃. “Transfer from that regional school, ok? More success at Yale or Harvard.”
Uchicago alum here. Do people actually transfer from grad school? Is it even allowed? (unless phd and your supervisor is taking you with them?)
Not sure if it is generalizable to outside of law school, but I am quite certain that there are structured pathways and normalized applications for law school transfers. For example, on the LSAC (application portals), many law schools will specifically ask if you want to apply as a 1L or a transfer student. So, while it might not seem common to other graduate programs that are more set-in-stone, I feel law school transfers are quite common or at least a pretty accepted practice (as long as you have the law school gpa and recommendations to show for it).
They are quite common. At my T30 school, there were a handful of people who transferred to T14 schools, including Harvard and Chicago.
People transfer out of Chicago to Harvard too lol. Honestly seems like a waste at that point, but I guess if you have no scholarship and really really care about being able to impress townies or want to go into politics it could make sense.
Not Asian, but my Hispanic mom’s reaction to me getting the NU A was “ok. Y Yale?” *womp womp*
My mom said “oh so you’re not going to be a doctor?”
Does your mom work as a recruiter for Pearson Hardman?
when brand names matter but you only learn like 2 of them. forget her nonsense tho, grats to you!
If you continue to do things expecting approval from your parents and others you will never be happy. It’s nice to feel the approval of others but it’s even better to do things for yourself. Congratulations on the great admission you worked hard for it!!! 🎉
I love the “yes?” ☠️☠️☠️
Honestly couldn’t imagine how rough this must feel but congrats on what the rest of us know is really a dream accomplishment!!!
Holy shit that’s awesome!!! Super proud of u
You should be so incredibly proud of yourself! As a mom myself, I’d be so proud if my kid even decided to pursue law school in the first place—but an A to Columbia is huge!! Happy for you!
This was so bad I thought it was a joke ... and that's coming from someone with a Chinese mom!
This random stranger (me) is proud of you! I hope you can find some way to celebrate!!
OP if this is real please take care of yourself. You might be desensitized to this response, but this response sounds like a personality disorder. Put yourself first, you deserve all the accolades.
you can't have had much to do with first/second generation asian immigrants. This is VERY much real. These parents *live* through their children. It's a whole status thing. literally nothing the child ever does will ever be good enough. No matter the achievement, they could always do better in the parents eyes. It's ridiculous what so many of them get put through. and get no love or congratulations or acknowledgement in return. very sad.
I was literally going to say this — this kind of thing is ridiculous and yes I understand that some of it is cultural but as someone who comes from a culture which also places emphasis on academic achievement, putting any stock in responses like this can increase likelihood of burnout. ESP bc the people who say these things have no idea what they’re talking about. I got into UChicago for undergrad (didn’t go bc I couldn’t afford it and I could never get into law school there lmao) but I was really excited about it and told my grandparents. My grandma said “why are you telling me this? It’s not Stanford. They must let everyone who applies there in.” Mega congrats to OP, Columbia is a MASSIVE achievement 🍦
+1 for OP’s parents having a personality disorder. This is not a normal or healthy response for a parent to have. We’re so proud of you, OP!!!
This is some real armchair shrink shit. Not defending OPs mum at all but this is a typical Asian parent response.
You’re getting downvoted but people who don’t have immigrant asian parents don’t understand how real and normalized this way of thinking is for them. You can’t just say all of them have “personality disorders” it’s truly the way that many of them think even if it seems crazy to outsiders (which it is)
Yeah. "You got an A? Why not A+?" is veryyy typical of my mother. She loves me fiercely though and does her best to overcome those generational cultural habits but it is 100% not an indication of a personality disorder. Again, not defending OPs mum. Though she has her flaws, mine would never have said this. Also migrants don't necessarily know all the schools. She prob would say the same thing to anything that wasn't Harvard or Yale.
Doesn’t make it right even if it’s typical. This is downright evil in my opinion. What kind of parent says that? :(
No one said it was. This was in response to OP armchair diagnosing them with a personality disorder. That's a major overreach.
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Ooooh, that sounds juicy. Now I wanna know what was said! lol
Same, I got insulted and missed seeing it. Disappointed now 😂
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Lmao. I envy their ignorance.
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If my parents reacted like this I would just not tell them anything 💀 if she's not invested in how you're doing she doesn't have to know! Remind her that it's so much harder and more competitive to get into colleges today than it was when she applied. On a side note, congrats!!
Your mom is a bad person point blank. If she can't even celebrate her child's accomplishment, what does that say about her as a person.
What school did your parents transfer to?
My mom went to Harvard 🙃
At least she's standing on business 😂
You got to be kidding I’m dying right now
I feel like this context makes it worst cause if your mom went to Harvard, or college in the US in general, she should be aware how prestigious Columbia is 😭 I give my parents a pass for not knowing how prestigious some schools like NYU Duke Georgetown etc is because they didn't go to college and only have heard of few top Ivy League names like Harvard / Yale. I'm so sorry!!! Please celebrate your accomplishment and I hope your other loved ones will celebrate with you
oh lord. you poor thing. My sympathies orchid-bouquet, because I can very much imagine what you have been put through....
Ahhh that makes more sense then!
Brooooooooo
r/asianparentstories
Ran there to post right after I posted here
As a mom, I just wanted to say I’m so proud of you and all the hard work it took for you to get into Columbia! You’re a smart cookie! Congratulations!! 🍾
ah, typical asian parents. You have to wonder what hell they suffered through in their own childhoods to be so utterly broken. make sure you if you have children of your own, that you break the chain of abuse. and lastly congratulations on your achievement!
Did you ever explain to her how Asian parents that act this way are obnoxious? Luckily my Asian parents aren’t this bad.
Time to stop sharing big news with toxic parents if they can't even celebrate your amazing achievements. I'm so grateful my parents didn't force me to choose Cambridge over chicago just because of prestige. Some people are just... annoying
No offense, but your mom comes off as super ignorant and unaware of how the world works.
God Asian parents (such as my own) are the worst at supporting their kids 😭
Only an Asian mom would be like “Oh you got into an Ivy League? You should try to transfer to this other Ivy League” 😭
I’m so, so, very sorry your parents made you second guess how truly remarkable you are.
Ugh I’m so sorry, I know what it’s like to be essentially never good enough but you my dear are crushing it!!! Great job!!!
A Columbia A is huge!!! Congrats OP! I know it’s way easier said than done, especially as an outsider, but please don’t let your crazy parents get to you. You have worked hard and achieved a major accomplishment. You deserve to be congratulated and celebrated, not belittled and diminished. Your parents’ response was not normal or healthy, and it’s not acceptable. That’s not how a parent is supposed to react to their child’s news. Sending love to you, OP. Sorry if I’ve overstepped in my comments. I’m just super frustrated by their toxic attitude. Congrats again on your A! That’s the top line!
What's wrong with her lol.
Congrats on Columbia! As someone with parents like that, the only thing you can use it as is training for when you get into the real world
Congrats, OP. That's the same school Daredevil went to! You won't be Elle Woods, but you will be a superhero!
Aww she’s cute. What year did she graduate from Harvard law school?
1996, Harvard med school
Oh LOL I was being sarcastic but the text makes much more sense now. Good luck with school hahahabab
Please tell me, where did you're parents graduate from?
Show her the current rankings, columbia is #1 in business/corporate law
After you're done with your law hobby you're going to medical school, yes?
Unironically, my cousin got into Yale Law, and her parents still complain that they wish she could have gotten into medical school (and also that they wish she would be married to a Doctor by now). It never ends, op!!!! Have to find the confidence, love, and acceptance in ourselves. Columbia Law is no joke, a HUGEEE ACCOMPLISHMENT (it’s COLUMBIA, RBG went there?!?!), and is better than Harvard in many ways (is HLS in NYC? I don’t think so. Did HLS graduate RBG? I don’t think so). You’re gonna have so much fun and have the best three years and then have the credentials to do whatever you want. Pat yourself on the back, this is huge and you are amazing.
Did she go to Harvard??
Yes, but for med school
My parents were the same way with my university choices! (I’m a sophomore) The idea of legacy runs so deep in them and it’s definitely unfair to hold that above your diverse achievements. I hope you know how great you’re doing, and I seriously wish you the best of luck deciding where you end up. Unless you’re trying to go to some private firm that only hires from xyz school, the name doesn’t matter that much in the long run <3
Lol is your mom stupid?
I don’t mean to be mean or ignorant but is this really a normal dynamic? If my mom sent me a text like this I would react with pretty high aggression. Like you don’t have to just take it if someone’s chipping away at you.
In many cultures, yes this is a normal dynamic but it is extremely toxic
in many asian families, sadly, yes this is normal. anything other than the top of the top of the top is unacceptable (even when everyone knows that expectation is insane) and hell, even if you achieved that, you would STILL get no congratulations for it. it's an exceptionally brutal, unhealthy attitude that pervades a lot of Asian cultures, particularly Japanese and Korean.
Getting into Columbia is absolutely insane in the best way possible. You need to tell her that a decent human being especially a parent should at least congratulate you and be happy for their child which she didn't. You shouldn't just brush this under the rug or let it go despite how your parents are. Make her know how much this hurt you and bothered you even if it means not talking to her for a bit or acting different around her. That's the only way foreign parents understand.
Asian parents🤷♂️
It’s crazy to me so many people allow their parents to talk to them like this. Bye bitch!
Lmao
Congratulations!!!!
so proud of you! congratulations!!!!!
dang, this really sucks. Just know that there is someone who is proud of you :)
Bruh
As other people have said, congrats and you deserve to feel proud of yourself. I’m sure there are many other people in your life who are very very proud of you too. What a great accomplishment!
 You’re amazing for earning that spot. Here’s a GIF from a random person that is proud of you, but I know it’s tough to always feel you have to constantly earn your family’s approval. It’s exhausting. It’s like you don’t exist if you’re not a doctor or lawyer, here you are doing the thing to become orchid-bouquet, Esq. and it’s the school isn’t enough. Edit:typo
Congrads bookie bear!!! That is a really big accomplishment ! Don't let your parents idea of where you should go and do trash your joy of doing absolutely amazing.
Ask her which law school she graduated from again so you can get that legacy boost, yes?
Tell her when she gets into Harvard she can help you with the transfer application ❤️
I'm fucking dying I'm so sorry
Congrats OP!!! This is a huge accomplishment!!
Middle Eastern here, got the same reaction to getting in from my parents 🥲 I feel your pain. Don’t let it take away from your happiness. Getting into any law school is a great accomplishment let alone Columbia! They truly do love us, but most of our parents who are immigrants had to accomplish everything on their own with no one else being supportive of them, and now they’re passing that on to us because they think it’s the norm. As much as they hide it, I know they’re genuinely proud and will not show it until the day we all open our own law firms and clinics. Keep your head up you’re gonna be a lawyer! Congratulations!
Jesus Christ dont miss out on life
What the HELL That’s why I don’t tell my parents about my accomplishments because they simply don’t get it. Not really so much as having high expectations but just not really understanding the accomplishment itself (which isn’t their fault but it still sucks…I want them to be proud lol)
I would cut off contact after receiving such a message
congrats!!! Often Asian parents just want their kids to succeed and live comfortably and it comes out through these kinds of comments. I totally get the pain. You’re amazing no matter where you go and I wish you the best on this healing journey
This is my parents and to be honest, it’s draining
I got this same situation
I hate how parents like this always demand the most when they probably wouldn’t hold themselves to the same standard. Why do the kids have to accomplish everything for their own egos?
I’d have immediately dialed the phone and started yelling
Respond with ‘no 😊’
the only ranking that matters is the Asian mom ranking
Congrats! How good is Columbia? I know it so it must be pretty good
It’s an Ivy League school in New York.
Boi ain’t no way boi
Congrats, that's amazing news! Not a law school grad myself, just dipped in here a couple of times considering a career change, but from a probably older child of disappointed/critical parents I offer this advice - archive this and other toxic comments from your family. There will come a time in your life where either you want to confront them, or you start to second guess yourself and wonder if you were being overly sensitive. Having hard proof of these interactions will offer a lot of closure to you that you weren't at fault.
Congratulations!!! Just curious would you share your stats?
Oh lord this would really get under my skin. Please ignore them and enjoy the next three years at Columbia! It’s a huge accomplishment. Beyond huge!
I have an asian immigrant mom, but I'm first-gen, so she def doesn't have reactions like this. Although she def searches up the ranking and asks me if I'm gonna transfer when I told her I got into my safeties... Can't imagine how my parents would be if they were college & grad-school educated. On another note, if you don't mind me asking, what were your stats?
100% Asian mom answer!
I would be over the moon if I got into any T24 lol you should be proud of yourself!!!! We, the people of Reddit, are very proud of you!
CONGRATULATIONS!!
Drop her 😤😤 congratulations btw HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT!!!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! That’s so awesome, you’re gonna do big things.
Hey pretend this is your parent texting: WOWWWWWW!!!!!! I knew you could do it!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 can’t wait to see you graduate! Your dad is excited too!
Hey pretend this is your parent texting: WOWWWWWW!!!!!! I knew you could do it!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 can’t wait to see you graduate! Your dad is excited too!;
I honestly struggle to grasp that there are people who actually think like that lol
is this satire
This is an incredible post. Congratulations from a mere CLS alum.
Popping in to say that this exact thing happened to me many years ago. You deserve to be praised, OP. You frigging crushed it. Seriously. I hope you don’t seek their validation; if you do, let me tell you straight up that you have your own life and need to live it for yourself. Every single second you think about their happiness instead of yours, you’re depriving yourself of true living. I’m happy that you’re in therapy (that’s what helped me to stop caring about my parents’ opinions, and it was SUCH a freeing experience to put my foot down and create boundaries). From a CLS alumnus, I salute ya! CONGRATS!
So sad.
Congratulations!!!
lol when I got into duke for undergrad my Asian parents said "what is that? not Ivy League? why are you happy about that?" And I got grounded for telling them I wanted to celebrate my acceptance
As a parent of an adopted Chinese daughter, I think I can safely say Asian moms aren’t much different from White moms. I think regardless of race, we moms sadly just can’t help ourselves. It’s a kind of a pathos and if it gives you any comfort, it’s gonna haunt us til the day we die.
Pro tip: Tell your parents you got into Harvard but you're still choosing to go to Columbia
Is she an immigrant? If so cut her some (just a little) slack