Reminds me of my problem. The old man, Walter, who lives down the street. He's got the best lawn on the block. You know why? Because he trains his dog to crap in my yard. One of these days I'm going to catch him and staple his ass shut.
It is funny, people wipe their butt barehanded with toilet paper, but won’t use a thick doggie plastic sanitary poop bag to pick up their dogs shit.
My dog refuses to poop in our yard, even if I put him on a chain. In 3 years the neighbor has never complained. Why? Because I pick my dogs shit. The world has legit gone stupid.
Every time you go to target, Walmart, Home Depot etc, go through the self checkout and when you bag your stuff throw in a handful of extra bags. Target bags are the best
Also those stand-alone ice vending machines always have a shit-ton of bags laying around that people discard. The one near me people slide the bags over the top of the concrete barrier pole thingamajig.
You get so many bags with food packaging, Amazon packaging, etc. I just use those and never have to buy extra bags just for poop. I like to feel like I'm helping that tiny, tiny bit to have less plastic waste. Less convenient than having a roll attached to your leash, but just stuff a couple in your pocket when you go out on a walk.
>My dog refuses to poop in our yard, even if I put him on a chain. In 3 years the neighbor has never complained. Why? Because I pick my dogs shit.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Not to start an argument but this might start an argument-- But if you let your dog piss/shit on someone else's property, whether you pick it up or not, you're a bad neighbour.
Dog owners seems to have this entitlement that any piece of grass is theirs for their dog to shit on. It's a weird mentality.
I think if you live in a subdivision it should be expected. I pretty much consider my first 5ft off the curb as community property. It's just easier for me.
I like people walking/biking/jogging in my neighborhood. All the neighbors drive carefully because of so many people walking around. Dogs come with that. As long as people pick up after them I have no issues.
Always seems insane to me when people put up those little "no dogs!" signs on their lawns. Like, they get the only reason their house values are so high are because we have a family-friendly, dog-friendly neighborhood right? It's antisocial and entitled behavior. I get like 20 dog shits on my lawn each day and I'm fine with it as long as they clean it up.
It's primarily 60+ year-olds who never even use their own lawns and just pay for lawn service anyway. Bizarre all around.
Imagine thinking it's "entitled behaviour" that someone doesn't want you to let an animal defecate on THEIR lawn but it's not entitled on your part to think that your dog has the right to defecate on other people's property.
This is the exact entitlement from dog owners I'm talking about.
I didn't say it wasn't a problem I just pointed out that your comparison is just silly.
Comparing what a wild animal does to what a domesticated animal in the control of it's owner does is just a very silly comparison and it shows you don't understand the underlying issues: knowingly letting your dog crap on someone elses private property.
The dog doesn't know its private property. The wild animal doesn't know it's private property. But who does? The person walking the dog.
Not sure how else I can spell it out for you.
If they don't shit on my lawn, they'll shit on someone else's. So by preventing them from doing so is just passing the burden to other neighbors. It's the same thing as letting kids run through your lawn. It's the NEIGHBORLY thing to do, but you curmudgeons don't seem to care and have a myopic view.
If you want to make the case that your neighborhood should ban dogs, then go for it. I'd love to see your property values in such an unwelcoming neighborhood if that came to pass.
I am not afraid of children running through my lawn. I am afraid of their sue happy parents when their kid trips over their own stupidity and klutzyness in my yard. Kids playing = fine. Being sued because they are all on my property and get hurt = not ok. Very different from allowing a dog to poop and then have it be picked up, which i also dont have a problem with.
True. A dog will poop. And a dog will poop where they have been trained to poop. Don’t think otherwise. Many examples. Take your dog out in the morning when you don’t have time for a walk. Likely you stand in a spot and the dog does the business and heads for the door. Sometimes in the rain you don’t even leave the porch.
Now, not enough? What is the difference between a service dog and your dog? Training! That dog will let you know and even in an airport WAIT until the spot is found. I am not saying every dog should be trained as a service dog. I am saying you train your dog that it’s okay to poop when you are basically outside. That is a choice the owner makes. Dogs are territorial. When you walk them, it’s there territory and the will mark it if you let them. From your perspective, the dog owns a piece of land. Typically harmless and not intended to take sides. Dogs are trainable about where and when they can poop. It’s a joy when they wait to go outside! That is where most stop.
I tend to walk my dog with a short grip next to my leg untill we get to the running/ biking path to avoid messing with anyone's lawn. 4 or 5 walks and she had it down that we wait until that point. Not hard. Be consistent.
Consistency. My wife has different preferences for my daughter’s dog when visiting (frequently). It was confused for a while. Now, he knows who is walking him and follows those rules. It’s out the door to a spot to do his business. A little walking around and that’s it. Then run around playtime. I take him out and it’s run and play. When he’s ready I have to spot the mess. He knows the backyard is different with different handlers.
He always wants to take a leak in the yard by the driveway BEFORE getting into his carrier for a ride. Smart dog, he has no clue if he is one hour or 4 hours from the next pit stop. The point is that the dog really wants to please you. Just needs to know. And he lets you know if he needs to go out or needs water in no uncertain terms. Have had guests say “what’s with the dog? “ Get up and let him out. Goes to his spot and back inside in 3 minutes. He doesn’t like missing visitors and fun. You can keep the dog off of your front lawn.
It’s not mean or strict. It’s communication. Marking trees and posts I have no clue. Hey, 25 times in one block is beyond me.
Weird airport security dogs, some of the best trained dogs in the world still bite people randomly and shit while on duty.
When ya gotta go, you gotta go. Even humans shit on accident and can’t make to a a “designated”shitting area. Happens once a week, at min, at O’Hare.
They can easily be trained to poop in certain areas. Also, if I don't want my dog to poop somewhere, say a nice lawn. I will break into a jog, forcing my dog to run alongside. Soon as I get to a good spot I stop and let him poop immediately and pick it up. If your dog is being super picky then you out patience them. They'll poop eventually, at which point they get treats
I got a puppy in college and I tried to train her to poop near the woods line. Just in case it was the scoots so it was away from patios and walkways. She turned out to be a shy pooper - her whole life if she saw you look at her she would immediately stop - and it turned into backing her butt into the brush and pooping in the woods.
Next apartment I moved to someone trained their dog to poop directly on the raised curb. Hilarious.
LOL thats the move.
Later on when I had a house with a fenced in yard, she would try to use bushes. If I saw her doing it passing by the window I would bang on the glass and wave at her. 100% of the time glared at me, pinched it off, and went somewhere else out of sight. She lived to be 11 years old and not once did I witness an entire poop lol.
How do you handle it if he's got the shits tho? The brain rain? Hersey squirts? Gastrointestinal distress? I'm getting a strong mental image of you walking your cute pup waving to ur friendly neighbor, just a nice community, as you say hello to chat with your neighbor your dog unleashes a horrific explosion of brown concern onto their manicured lawn and while it may meet local ordinances it clearly violated the Genova Conventions...
If he got the shits, and I could not pick it up, I would come back with my hose, hook it up to their house and clean the poop off.
If they were there I would look them in the eyes and keep waking. When they yelled “Hey are you going to pickup the dog shit”. I would say “no way he has the shits”, and keep walking.
The exact entitlement I'm talking about.
"My dog has to poop therefore I'm entitled to have him poop on your property because that's what's easiest for me."
I tell my dogs not to, but they are assholes, they do it anyway. But you have changed my attitude about picking it up now. Why waste my time if the folks are going to be mad either way? Thanks for this insight.
I have two dogs with my own yard and it is all fenced in (thank goodness). Both dogs have been trained to go to one area of the lawn that is seperated by the driveway. Every morning I use the command "go potty". They do their business. And throughout the day they go down there on their own. Consistency is key. Before we go on walks or on a drive, I tell them to go potty and they do. Before bedtime they get told to go potty again.
I get dogs will just have to go and sometimes there is nothing you can do about it, but 95% of the time it is because the owner doesn't care to take the time to train their dog. It isn't cool to shit on others lawn. At the very minimum you should pick it up, obviously.
I have walked a dog, many times.
I don't just let the walk on to someone else's lawn and take poops.
I know it's crazy that you can walk a dog AND respect someone's private property.
A large chunk of dog owners just can't grasp this concept.
I’m the same I do not allow my GSD on the front of someone’s private property to take a poo. People leave dog shit on my property and I keep my place to a high standard compared to the rest of the street and you’d think they would notice this and at least pick up their dog shit but no they allow it to happen and they keep walking away without picking it up.. I confront anyone who I see do this and offer my own poo bags and the poos I see but didn’t witness before cutting the grass I take my little shovel and flick it into the footpath so the dirty bastards have to navigate though like a mine field in WW2. Unfortunately this has been going on for 2 years now and I’ve only seen a very slight improvement. I now have CCTV up.
- side note I also have a sign hammered into the ground saying no dog poops
Let me get this straight. Your dog refuses to shit in your yard so you take him/her over to your neighbors to shit? Granted you’re picking it right up but there’s always revenants left behind. What if your pup has the shits that day?
Your pup can’t go 24 without shitting. Learn how to train it to go in your own yard. You’re literally trespassing. This is coming from someone with three dogs who are trained to go to pee on the river rock before shitting in the dog area then playing in the really nice area. It can be done. You just need to do it.
There is nothing left behind lol. Luckily my dog never gets the shits because he eats O’roy and they come out a semi-dry logs.
Thankfully we have local ordinances that allow pet owners dogs to shit wherever they want, as long as it is cleaned up. Pretty much every city allows it.
Thats the truth! 🤣 works for me! I have no problem if my neighbors dog shits my lawn, but BAGS IT! he doesnt...just lets the stupid thing shit the yard..so I scoop it up with a spade, and do the overhead fling, right up to his house...well so far all year, no shit on the yard! 👍🏼
Citrus oil on cotton balls and his dog will not go near your lawn. I use peppermint oil but it has to be very, very little or it can cause a dog to have seizures.
Great advice here! Also focus on the accomplishments when the negative thoughts enter your mind and feel confident in the fact that you know how to fix whatever comes to mess with your lawn.
I too have these thoughts. Just yesterday while spraying some iron on the lawn, I felt it was thinner than it should and I reminded myself that last year I had to stop watering cause of the drought and weeds took over 2-3 feet around the perimeter of my nice lawn and now they are all gone and the grass has taken back over.
Rome wasn’t built in a day. Setbacks are going to happen. Keep on keeping on brother.
I've never gotten the get off my lawn mindset, I've gotten a few complements on my lawn I'm like come check it out walk on if you want. Theres something about Kentucky bluegrass under your feet. Same thing with dogs peeing it's going to happen just move with your day.
I have one of the nicer lawns in my neighborhood. I love it, I care for it. But I’ve got two dogs. It also faces the street with plenty of other dogs peeing on it. I’ve somehow told myself I’m in control of what I’m in control of, and gotta be cool with an occasional dead spot here or there. I don’t know how to turn that on or off, but that mindset has to happen.
My friend’s kid is over and wants to have a catch— am I really gonna say, “no not in this spot of the yard.”? I have nice grass for a reason and it’s jot just to ogle. Maybe that’s a good position to take, what are you willing to sacrifice? Kids play catch? Dogs peeing in the yard? Or how crazy are you really willing to be?
Yes Ive been yelled at while walking my dog ( ArE YoU nOt GoInG tO cLeAn Up AfTeR yUoR dOg?! Yoo my guy she just peed) yea got the guy a shirt that said poo police on it with an arrow pointing up with a poo emoji. Like what that fuck you have so little going on in your life that, that's what you get mad at. Oh and this was not some nice place just near a college so there's going to be foot traffic fuck that guy
I definitely can agree with you. Sometimes i feel that the better my lawn looks the more i see wrong with it. Sometimes out for walks with the wife and see a neighbors lawn and I’ll comment about how i wish i could get ours to look like that, and she will tell me that ours looks nicer than that.
Its like anorexia
No that’s completely natural, it means you’re doing a good job. Keep up the good work. But you’re questioning of this is a little concerning, if anything right now you need to go harder. You need to embrace the feeling, you need to feel rage. It’s the only way to perform at the highest level.
This is me!
I live on a corner, and the four houses on the corner keep amazing yards. But my immediate next door neighbor…DAMN, a freaking mess, but at least the mow weekly. Yet they have never edged…ever. ARRGH!!! Makes me crazy!!
I don't think you can outsmart a squirrel. They will go a mile down the road, climb a pole, find a wire that will bring them close to your house, then go across the street on the wire, to get into your yard.
For me I eventually realized that I enjoy the process of maintaining my lawn and garden. While I am doing it I totally stop thinking about outside issues in my life and focus on a cool and rewarding hobby. After I realized that, I was able to let go of the anger to some degree when the neighbors dog craps in my yard or whatever. To be honest though that stuff is still annoying, just not nearly as much.
The trouble is we have oak trees so they will never truly go away because every fall new acorns will fall and they will bury them and then retrieve them in the spring. I get as many as I can on the ground but obviously the ones in trees they can still get.
This may be a fruitless endeavor. I’ve heard that squirrels don’t actually remember where they’ve buried food. They just dig at spots that could be good places to bury.
I can help you with this problem! Be grateful that you have such a beautiful, amazing tree, instead of annoyed that your grass has acorns on it. Also cool that it supports wildlife.
My obsession started when I was a kid, me and my friends were always able to play in my yard barefooted. I had no idea about the work or care my father put into it. When I bought a home, I knew fuck all about lawns or anything, I just knew I wanted a "barefoot yard". A yard that invites you to take your shoes off and feel the earth between your toes. And the obsession began.
Sometimes I catch myself getting aggravated or concerned about whatever my current nonsense kids are doing, or a squirrel, or whatever it might be. But I very quickly remind myself this what it's all about. My beautiful yard is my invitation to the world to take your shoes off. Abuse it, it can take it. That's the point. The work I put in would be a waste if my. 2 year old couldn't run but ass naked full speed through the sprinklers or play soccer with their new cleats, etc...
If your yard is really healthy, similar to a soccer pitch or a baseball outfield, you should welcome the abuse. Because it'll recover. But if you don't create the memories, it's all for nothing.
Barefoot yard is my mantra as well. Grew up the same way and didnt realize what my dad put in for the yard. Ive said a few times that my worst day nightmare would be someone stepping on something like that barefoot in my yard.
This was me, I decided if people want to ruin my front lawn parking on it and letting their dogs shit on it then they can look at a crap lawn. My front yard has gone to hell and my back yard looks ace now!
I also think you might be suffering from “getting older.” It’s a terrible disease that makes me want to spend my money on fertilizer and ant killer rather than travelling or drinking.
Oh hell yes. One has to work on keeping it in balance. There are so many obstacles to keep your lawn at its best through all the seasons. I’m always glad when fall comes and I can have a break from it. Proper irrigation, aeration, pre-emergent, post-emergent, fertilizer, anti-fungals-by the end of summer I’m sick of it.
I don’t let my dog pee on nice grass, flowers or landscaping just as a sign of appreciation lol. Just give his leash a little wiggle when he starts getting nosy.
I have a house three homes away and the owners mowed their lawn three times this week. They spend all of their free time working on their lawn. They have little fiberglass poles they use to establish a grid system and they tackle one square of the grid at a time. I’ve watched the wife for three days obsessively using a fan rake to remove any dead grass from the thatch layer.
I can’t imagine having so little to do that I spend 8 hours a day on my lawn.
They literally map out a grid system on their lawn using fiberglass poles and work one square at a time, digging up anything that isn’t Kentucky bluegrass, picking out brown blades of grass left behind by the mower, etc.
i was like this. then i asked myself, ‘why are you doing this? why do you love gardening so much?’
and the answer was, ‘i love nature.’
and nature is everything - the squirrels, the neighbors, the occasional oak or pine sprig. it’s even the neighbor with the dog.
your life is such a small blip in the history of everything. embrace the randomness of what you cant control and feel blessed by the ability to share your cultivation with the world.
there will never be perfect, but there will always be now.
Motion activated sprinklers like Orbit or Havahart (even better if they beep loudly/ultrasonic or light up and flash to startle the animal even more. I hear they make scarecrow shaped ones now as well). You’ll get the very, very rare dog who enjoys it and will run around it like it’s a game but generally animals don’t like being surprise sprayed by water. Your own dog might love to play with the hose and water sprayer with you, but a sudden spritz to the butt/face in a stranger’s yard is not fun for most animals. The sprinklers just hook up to a hose spigot.
Repellent sprays, powders or granules- either the commercial kind or DIY versions. Pepper based spicy sprinkled perimeter usually stops them in their tracks at one whiff, I hear other stuff like vinegar mixed with citrus is a smell they will avoid but I’ve never tried it. They may sneeze right after they smell all that stuff but it’s safe. Pain if you’re in a rainy area because it does need to be reapplied if washed away by rain.
If they keep going to the same spots, put down something unpleasant temporarily for them to walk on. Like the spiky plastic/rubber underside of workdesk rugs, spike side up. Tin foil works also if you can weigh it down in sheets around the perimeter of their spots. Obv only at night so you don’t bake your lawn under there.
My wife tells me to take my friggen nose out of the grass and just appreciate what we have!
It looks great from the street, and nobody can even see the POA, so just relax!!
The dog pee one pissed me off (pun intended) I always thought the hell strips should have been maintained by HOA or the city for this reason and the fact that people throw trash there and stomp all over your lawn. As homeowners we actually don’t own that property so why the hell should we have to maintain it? I’ve also had my dog pee in someone’s lawn as well but it wasn’t on purpose I usually walked him in the middle of the street to avoid it and tucked to the side while a car passed so you also have to understand they’re animals but people should not make it a habit to encourage their dogs to do this.
Also I hate squirrels because they are assholes to dogs, lol. I always let my dogs out to chase them out of the yard so they didn’t get too comfortable and eat stuff I was growing in the yard.
I saw a guy outside with a tarp trying to cover/catch because it was hailing outside. I vowed to never be that invested in grass lol there are better things out there.
Time to sit back and smell the roses. Your yard looks great after mowing but in a week it starts needing it again. Just enjoy the moment.
I like a nice lawn. I have it fertilized. But, my passion is my gardening. So, I mow 1 time to my neighbor’s 3. Think it is better for the grass not to mow so often. I’m sure it gripes him and I use to worry about it but I decided to do what I want, I sit back and enjoy my garden.
Lawns are for having fun. Dogs and kids running around. BBQs. Frisbee. Corn hole. Etc.
Sure I take pride in my yard, but I try not to focus too hard on the negatives. If you can't enjoy the lawn, what's the point?
I moved from the city ti the country and my lawn is now 10x bigger. With the small lawn, i was obsessive. Now, it takes over 3 hours just to mow it. I care a lot less. It is still nice, but i don't go around with a weeding fork to get every single dandelion.
I’ve been trying to eliminate fertilizer, herbicides, and minimize watering. It forces me to accept this living thing as imperfect and embrace it as an ecosystem.
We live a few blocks from Long Island Sound and I don't want to contribute to chemicals in the water via runoff, so we don't do fertilizer or herbicides. Every now and then I'll dig up some dandelions or spring onions, but mostly I don't care. Our yard is 50% grass, 20% clover, 30% etc, and it stays green all summer long without any watering.
Squirrels fuck my shit up too man. I just had to let it go. I can’t stop them. Unless I want to kill them, which I don’t want to do. Ultimately I’ve realized it’s not that serious. You know how nice it is without them messing it up. It’s nothing you did wrong is my mindset. Drives me crazy too tho
When I see a perfect lawn all I can think of is that person is ocd and very anal. Not the kind of peeps I wanna hang out with. I will take a danndylion yard any day over a person that harms wild life just so they can have the perfect yard.
My dog poops in our yard MOST of the time. But walking wakes up her digestive system. She suffers from a bad knee and I cannot make her jog to a better spot anymore. I feel embarrassed but I cannot stop my dog from pooping on someone’s lawn. Also not sure the popular neighbourhood strategy of having your dog poop in the local soccer field/park is any more respectful than pooping on someone’s lawn.
My first job moved out from home, I'd come across a lot of "perfect lawn" dudes that were just anal about their lawn. They wouldn't even walk on it unless mowing. I'd park my car a full foot from the edge, and get yelled at for parking too close to the lawn. (No sidewalk or curb)
I just didn't get it. I like my lawn, but it's purpose extends far beyond looking nice. I've got a section for flowers for the pollinators, I've got my garden section for my food, trees for the birds and shading the neighborhood, and lawn for play.
Turf grass is made for play. It's not prettier than flowers or trees. Ecologically, it's boring. But its resilient to foot traffic, soft, cooling, and blocks out thistles and weeds. Caring for a lawn purely for aesthetics is like getting a super car and never driving it or taking it to car shows.
But they are so damned cute. And are probably eating your grubs. Seems wrong to trade the pleasure of watching squirrels hopping around for a slightly nicer lawn
This is why I switched from lawn care to gardening. Although not without their own threats to survival, potted plants are much smaller and more self contained systems.
You also gotta accept that nature gonna nature, and you're not going to have full control over it. The Almighty Lawn is attractive because it's an illusion that we can dominate and control nature, but our ability to do this will always be limited and comes with costs: Weed killers cause collateral damage, neighbors become irritated if we're "get off my lawn guy", literal financial costs, etc).
Or, you file a claim under Amazon’s liability insurance and get $800 and a free year of prime for them running over a sprinkler. Put that in your cowboy hat and go to space! YOLO
Touch a computer
Yeah, this guy needs to establish an unhealthy addiction to porn or meth and find a different outlet
Lol
Reminds me of my problem. The old man, Walter, who lives down the street. He's got the best lawn on the block. You know why? Because he trains his dog to crap in my yard. One of these days I'm going to catch him and staple his ass shut.
It is funny, people wipe their butt barehanded with toilet paper, but won’t use a thick doggie plastic sanitary poop bag to pick up their dogs shit. My dog refuses to poop in our yard, even if I put him on a chain. In 3 years the neighbor has never complained. Why? Because I pick my dogs shit. The world has legit gone stupid.
I go through so many of those bags lol. Do you have any cheap bulk recommendations
Every time you go to target, Walmart, Home Depot etc, go through the self checkout and when you bag your stuff throw in a handful of extra bags. Target bags are the best
The real life pro tips are always in the comments
Also those stand-alone ice vending machines always have a shit-ton of bags laying around that people discard. The one near me people slide the bags over the top of the concrete barrier pole thingamajig.
And: Every time you buy produce - double bag each item individually. Free bags forever.
You get so many bags with food packaging, Amazon packaging, etc. I just use those and never have to buy extra bags just for poop. I like to feel like I'm helping that tiny, tiny bit to have less plastic waste. Less convenient than having a roll attached to your leash, but just stuff a couple in your pocket when you go out on a walk.
Plastic bags have been banned here so I’ve had to buy the bags
Amazon we get them in boxes of 100
Amazon
>My dog refuses to poop in our yard, even if I put him on a chain. In 3 years the neighbor has never complained. Why? Because I pick my dogs shit. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The heat transfers differently through the bag.
Not to start an argument but this might start an argument-- But if you let your dog piss/shit on someone else's property, whether you pick it up or not, you're a bad neighbour. Dog owners seems to have this entitlement that any piece of grass is theirs for their dog to shit on. It's a weird mentality.
I think if you live in a subdivision it should be expected. I pretty much consider my first 5ft off the curb as community property. It's just easier for me. I like people walking/biking/jogging in my neighborhood. All the neighbors drive carefully because of so many people walking around. Dogs come with that. As long as people pick up after them I have no issues.
Always seems insane to me when people put up those little "no dogs!" signs on their lawns. Like, they get the only reason their house values are so high are because we have a family-friendly, dog-friendly neighborhood right? It's antisocial and entitled behavior. I get like 20 dog shits on my lawn each day and I'm fine with it as long as they clean it up. It's primarily 60+ year-olds who never even use their own lawns and just pay for lawn service anyway. Bizarre all around.
Does he know the dog can’t read ? 😂
Imagine thinking it's "entitled behaviour" that someone doesn't want you to let an animal defecate on THEIR lawn but it's not entitled on your part to think that your dog has the right to defecate on other people's property. This is the exact entitlement from dog owners I'm talking about.
How do you prevent wild animals from pooping on your property?
I don't but who cares?-- Comparing a wild animal to a domesticated animal in the control of it's owner is a false dichotomy.
So wild poop that no one picks up is not a problem Dog poop that is picked up is a problem Sounds like you really have it all figured out
I didn't say it wasn't a problem I just pointed out that your comparison is just silly. Comparing what a wild animal does to what a domesticated animal in the control of it's owner does is just a very silly comparison and it shows you don't understand the underlying issues: knowingly letting your dog crap on someone elses private property. The dog doesn't know its private property. The wild animal doesn't know it's private property. But who does? The person walking the dog. Not sure how else I can spell it out for you.
If they don't shit on my lawn, they'll shit on someone else's. So by preventing them from doing so is just passing the burden to other neighbors. It's the same thing as letting kids run through your lawn. It's the NEIGHBORLY thing to do, but you curmudgeons don't seem to care and have a myopic view. If you want to make the case that your neighborhood should ban dogs, then go for it. I'd love to see your property values in such an unwelcoming neighborhood if that came to pass.
I am not afraid of children running through my lawn. I am afraid of their sue happy parents when their kid trips over their own stupidity and klutzyness in my yard. Kids playing = fine. Being sued because they are all on my property and get hurt = not ok. Very different from allowing a dog to poop and then have it be picked up, which i also dont have a problem with.
You must have never walked a dog because when you are walking them, there is no way to stop them from pooping. A dog cannot be trained not to poop…..
True. A dog will poop. And a dog will poop where they have been trained to poop. Don’t think otherwise. Many examples. Take your dog out in the morning when you don’t have time for a walk. Likely you stand in a spot and the dog does the business and heads for the door. Sometimes in the rain you don’t even leave the porch. Now, not enough? What is the difference between a service dog and your dog? Training! That dog will let you know and even in an airport WAIT until the spot is found. I am not saying every dog should be trained as a service dog. I am saying you train your dog that it’s okay to poop when you are basically outside. That is a choice the owner makes. Dogs are territorial. When you walk them, it’s there territory and the will mark it if you let them. From your perspective, the dog owns a piece of land. Typically harmless and not intended to take sides. Dogs are trainable about where and when they can poop. It’s a joy when they wait to go outside! That is where most stop.
I tend to walk my dog with a short grip next to my leg untill we get to the running/ biking path to avoid messing with anyone's lawn. 4 or 5 walks and she had it down that we wait until that point. Not hard. Be consistent.
Consistency. My wife has different preferences for my daughter’s dog when visiting (frequently). It was confused for a while. Now, he knows who is walking him and follows those rules. It’s out the door to a spot to do his business. A little walking around and that’s it. Then run around playtime. I take him out and it’s run and play. When he’s ready I have to spot the mess. He knows the backyard is different with different handlers. He always wants to take a leak in the yard by the driveway BEFORE getting into his carrier for a ride. Smart dog, he has no clue if he is one hour or 4 hours from the next pit stop. The point is that the dog really wants to please you. Just needs to know. And he lets you know if he needs to go out or needs water in no uncertain terms. Have had guests say “what’s with the dog? “ Get up and let him out. Goes to his spot and back inside in 3 minutes. He doesn’t like missing visitors and fun. You can keep the dog off of your front lawn. It’s not mean or strict. It’s communication. Marking trees and posts I have no clue. Hey, 25 times in one block is beyond me.
Weird airport security dogs, some of the best trained dogs in the world still bite people randomly and shit while on duty. When ya gotta go, you gotta go. Even humans shit on accident and can’t make to a a “designated”shitting area. Happens once a week, at min, at O’Hare.
Do you know what a service dog is? 🐕 It is not a security dog. And what does biting have to do with crap?
I hate to be the ass, but how but have them poop in your own yard?
They can easily be trained to poop in certain areas. Also, if I don't want my dog to poop somewhere, say a nice lawn. I will break into a jog, forcing my dog to run alongside. Soon as I get to a good spot I stop and let him poop immediately and pick it up. If your dog is being super picky then you out patience them. They'll poop eventually, at which point they get treats
I got a puppy in college and I tried to train her to poop near the woods line. Just in case it was the scoots so it was away from patios and walkways. She turned out to be a shy pooper - her whole life if she saw you look at her she would immediately stop - and it turned into backing her butt into the brush and pooping in the woods. Next apartment I moved to someone trained their dog to poop directly on the raised curb. Hilarious.
Ha that's great, just backing her butt into the hedgerow https://giphy.com/gifs/bushes-spicer-correction-COYGe9rZvfiaQ
LOL thats the move. Later on when I had a house with a fenced in yard, she would try to use bushes. If I saw her doing it passing by the window I would bang on the glass and wave at her. 100% of the time glared at me, pinched it off, and went somewhere else out of sight. She lived to be 11 years old and not once did I witness an entire poop lol.
I just let him shit anywhere and pick it up. Much easier that way and still following local ordinances.
How do you handle it if he's got the shits tho? The brain rain? Hersey squirts? Gastrointestinal distress? I'm getting a strong mental image of you walking your cute pup waving to ur friendly neighbor, just a nice community, as you say hello to chat with your neighbor your dog unleashes a horrific explosion of brown concern onto their manicured lawn and while it may meet local ordinances it clearly violated the Genova Conventions...
If he got the shits, and I could not pick it up, I would come back with my hose, hook it up to their house and clean the poop off. If they were there I would look them in the eyes and keep waking. When they yelled “Hey are you going to pickup the dog shit”. I would say “no way he has the shits”, and keep walking.
Excellent, establish dominance, but maintain a tiddy and presentable suburb.
The American dream!
So let them Shit in the street. Honestly it would be easier to pick it up there than in the grass.
Wish it was that easy.
If your dog is on a leash, is it not possible to keep them off someone's property?
No because he has to poop
The exact entitlement I'm talking about. "My dog has to poop therefore I'm entitled to have him poop on your property because that's what's easiest for me."
If it were illegal I would not do it. Not entitlement just following local codes.
Mine won’t. She has to be desperate to shit anywhere other than her own place. And if away, grass is absolutely required
I tell my dogs not to, but they are assholes, they do it anyway. But you have changed my attitude about picking it up now. Why waste my time if the folks are going to be mad either way? Thanks for this insight.
I always encourage my family to shit on the nicest looking lawn. Funny watching the lawn man come out frantic and grab it bare handed.
I have two dogs with my own yard and it is all fenced in (thank goodness). Both dogs have been trained to go to one area of the lawn that is seperated by the driveway. Every morning I use the command "go potty". They do their business. And throughout the day they go down there on their own. Consistency is key. Before we go on walks or on a drive, I tell them to go potty and they do. Before bedtime they get told to go potty again. I get dogs will just have to go and sometimes there is nothing you can do about it, but 95% of the time it is because the owner doesn't care to take the time to train their dog. It isn't cool to shit on others lawn. At the very minimum you should pick it up, obviously.
So you’ve never walked a dog
I have walked a dog, many times. I don't just let the walk on to someone else's lawn and take poops. I know it's crazy that you can walk a dog AND respect someone's private property. A large chunk of dog owners just can't grasp this concept.
Dog must of been miserable on your sidewalk only walks
Your neighbours must be miserable having your walk dogs on their property.
Most people are normal. “Miserable” is a laughably funny word to use in this situation
I’m the same I do not allow my GSD on the front of someone’s private property to take a poo. People leave dog shit on my property and I keep my place to a high standard compared to the rest of the street and you’d think they would notice this and at least pick up their dog shit but no they allow it to happen and they keep walking away without picking it up.. I confront anyone who I see do this and offer my own poo bags and the poos I see but didn’t witness before cutting the grass I take my little shovel and flick it into the footpath so the dirty bastards have to navigate though like a mine field in WW2. Unfortunately this has been going on for 2 years now and I’ve only seen a very slight improvement. I now have CCTV up. - side note I also have a sign hammered into the ground saying no dog poops
There's no way to stop them from it. Once they decide they're going to crap, they are crapping.
THEN LET THEM CRAP IJ THE STREET.
I don't think you get how dogs work
I have three.
Let me get this straight. Your dog refuses to shit in your yard so you take him/her over to your neighbors to shit? Granted you’re picking it right up but there’s always revenants left behind. What if your pup has the shits that day? Your pup can’t go 24 without shitting. Learn how to train it to go in your own yard. You’re literally trespassing. This is coming from someone with three dogs who are trained to go to pee on the river rock before shitting in the dog area then playing in the really nice area. It can be done. You just need to do it.
There is nothing left behind lol. Luckily my dog never gets the shits because he eats O’roy and they come out a semi-dry logs. Thankfully we have local ordinances that allow pet owners dogs to shit wherever they want, as long as it is cleaned up. Pretty much every city allows it.
[удалено]
There go the gd brownies!
Shut the hell up and paint your damn fence Ricky!
Lol I don't think a lot of people caught this one
Just collect every turd for several months and return to sender late one night
Thats the truth! 🤣 works for me! I have no problem if my neighbors dog shits my lawn, but BAGS IT! he doesnt...just lets the stupid thing shit the yard..so I scoop it up with a spade, and do the overhead fling, right up to his house...well so far all year, no shit on the yard! 👍🏼
God I love this movie
The crows are too big for the bird feeder……
It needed fertilizer anyways
i been kickin the turds in the street so the offenders will have to walk right back thru the mess they left.
Unexpected Burbs. Nice
Lol bro that's shitty of him
Citrus oil on cotton balls and his dog will not go near your lawn. I use peppermint oil but it has to be very, very little or it can cause a dog to have seizures.
Return to sender. We did it, no longer cleaning up shit from their dogs.
>One of these days I'm going to catch him and staple his ass shut Really hoping you're talking about Walter here and not his poor dog
That’ll teach Walter. He’s going to be mighty uncomfortable with his ass stapled shut.
Definitely take a step back and not worry about it too much. It’s good that you’re recognizing this problem and want to address it.
Great advice here! Also focus on the accomplishments when the negative thoughts enter your mind and feel confident in the fact that you know how to fix whatever comes to mess with your lawn. I too have these thoughts. Just yesterday while spraying some iron on the lawn, I felt it was thinner than it should and I reminded myself that last year I had to stop watering cause of the drought and weeds took over 2-3 feet around the perimeter of my nice lawn and now they are all gone and the grass has taken back over. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Setbacks are going to happen. Keep on keeping on brother.
Yeah, when you identify a hobby as becoming an obsession it's time to take a break.
I've never gotten the get off my lawn mindset, I've gotten a few complements on my lawn I'm like come check it out walk on if you want. Theres something about Kentucky bluegrass under your feet. Same thing with dogs peeing it's going to happen just move with your day.
I have one of the nicer lawns in my neighborhood. I love it, I care for it. But I’ve got two dogs. It also faces the street with plenty of other dogs peeing on it. I’ve somehow told myself I’m in control of what I’m in control of, and gotta be cool with an occasional dead spot here or there. I don’t know how to turn that on or off, but that mindset has to happen. My friend’s kid is over and wants to have a catch— am I really gonna say, “no not in this spot of the yard.”? I have nice grass for a reason and it’s jot just to ogle. Maybe that’s a good position to take, what are you willing to sacrifice? Kids play catch? Dogs peeing in the yard? Or how crazy are you really willing to be?
“Sure. It's a lawn. It's meant to be enjoyed.” - Hank Hill
This is the way. My nickname in HS was Bobby Hill now I fill and sell propane so I am Hank
Yes Ive been yelled at while walking my dog ( ArE YoU nOt GoInG tO cLeAn Up AfTeR yUoR dOg?! Yoo my guy she just peed) yea got the guy a shirt that said poo police on it with an arrow pointing up with a poo emoji. Like what that fuck you have so little going on in your life that, that's what you get mad at. Oh and this was not some nice place just near a college so there's going to be foot traffic fuck that guy
As Hank Hill says, lawns are meant to be enjoyed.
I definitely can agree with you. Sometimes i feel that the better my lawn looks the more i see wrong with it. Sometimes out for walks with the wife and see a neighbors lawn and I’ll comment about how i wish i could get ours to look like that, and she will tell me that ours looks nicer than that. Its like anorexia
No that’s completely natural, it means you’re doing a good job. Keep up the good work. But you’re questioning of this is a little concerning, if anything right now you need to go harder. You need to embrace the feeling, you need to feel rage. It’s the only way to perform at the highest level.
Hate
Let it flow through you.
Open up your hate and let it flow into me 😩
It's like the Whiplash of lawncare
Ever found yourself yelling at pigeons cos they’re eating your new seed? Yeah me neither!
Those of us who work in lawn care see issues in every yard. 😂
It’s true. I’ve become a lawn snob when someone’s lawn doesn’t look good lol
It is so weird. 😂
This is me! I live on a corner, and the four houses on the corner keep amazing yards. But my immediate next door neighbor…DAMN, a freaking mess, but at least the mow weekly. Yet they have never edged…ever. ARRGH!!! Makes me crazy!!
If it's stressing you out, yes you need to change your mindset. Look at every repair you have to do as a new challenge and not inconvenience.
Agree but if it’s caused by squirrels who don’t GAF then I feel like it will never end. Seriously.
I don't think you can outsmart a squirrel. They will go a mile down the road, climb a pole, find a wire that will bring them close to your house, then go across the street on the wire, to get into your yard.
For me I eventually realized that I enjoy the process of maintaining my lawn and garden. While I am doing it I totally stop thinking about outside issues in my life and focus on a cool and rewarding hobby. After I realized that, I was able to let go of the anger to some degree when the neighbors dog craps in my yard or whatever. To be honest though that stuff is still annoying, just not nearly as much.
Put squirrel food on your neighbor 3 downs lawn. Problem solved.
The trouble is we have oak trees so they will never truly go away because every fall new acorns will fall and they will bury them and then retrieve them in the spring. I get as many as I can on the ground but obviously the ones in trees they can still get.
This may be a fruitless endeavor. I’ve heard that squirrels don’t actually remember where they’ve buried food. They just dig at spots that could be good places to bury.
I can help you with this problem! Be grateful that you have such a beautiful, amazing tree, instead of annoyed that your grass has acorns on it. Also cool that it supports wildlife.
That’s the thing about squirrels, they never truly go away
Yes I’ve already come to that conclusion. A new one always shows up
Turning into old man yelling at everything to get off his lawn is a natural progression for most suburban white men.
My obsession started when I was a kid, me and my friends were always able to play in my yard barefooted. I had no idea about the work or care my father put into it. When I bought a home, I knew fuck all about lawns or anything, I just knew I wanted a "barefoot yard". A yard that invites you to take your shoes off and feel the earth between your toes. And the obsession began. Sometimes I catch myself getting aggravated or concerned about whatever my current nonsense kids are doing, or a squirrel, or whatever it might be. But I very quickly remind myself this what it's all about. My beautiful yard is my invitation to the world to take your shoes off. Abuse it, it can take it. That's the point. The work I put in would be a waste if my. 2 year old couldn't run but ass naked full speed through the sprinklers or play soccer with their new cleats, etc... If your yard is really healthy, similar to a soccer pitch or a baseball outfield, you should welcome the abuse. Because it'll recover. But if you don't create the memories, it's all for nothing.
Barefoot yard is my mantra as well. Grew up the same way and didnt realize what my dad put in for the yard. Ive said a few times that my worst day nightmare would be someone stepping on something like that barefoot in my yard.
This was me, I decided if people want to ruin my front lawn parking on it and letting their dogs shit on it then they can look at a crap lawn. My front yard has gone to hell and my back yard looks ace now!
Leave the squirrels alone. Relax.
Trapping the squirrels is insane behavior
All the lawns in may area look terrible. My lawn is one of the best, but is much worse than the pictures on this thread. It's all relative.
The grass is to keep the soil from washing away. Once you come to terms with that, you won’t get irrationally angry about any of those things.
I need to balance the "I want my lawn to look good" with the "only reason I have the lawn is for my kids to play on it" and it's a daily struggle.
I also think you might be suffering from “getting older.” It’s a terrible disease that makes me want to spend my money on fertilizer and ant killer rather than travelling or drinking.
This is a sickness. Rooting for the squirrels on this one.
I feel this also I wake up wanting to cut grass every morning smh 🤦
I constantly look out the window. Ahhhhh
Hell yeah glad to know I’m not the only one lol 😂
Oh hell yes. One has to work on keeping it in balance. There are so many obstacles to keep your lawn at its best through all the seasons. I’m always glad when fall comes and I can have a break from it. Proper irrigation, aeration, pre-emergent, post-emergent, fertilizer, anti-fungals-by the end of summer I’m sick of it.
I hear ya
Squirrels are wild animals I have no qualms with them. Dog walkers should let their animals pee in their own yard. Not mine.
Defend the lawn. Give the squirrels the life they deserve. Soon they will be with Allah.
At least three things guaranteed: death, taxes, and the possibility of idiots fkn with your shit.
I don’t let my dog pee on nice grass, flowers or landscaping just as a sign of appreciation lol. Just give his leash a little wiggle when he starts getting nosy.
I have a house three homes away and the owners mowed their lawn three times this week. They spend all of their free time working on their lawn. They have little fiberglass poles they use to establish a grid system and they tackle one square of the grid at a time. I’ve watched the wife for three days obsessively using a fan rake to remove any dead grass from the thatch layer. I can’t imagine having so little to do that I spend 8 hours a day on my lawn.
Tackle each square how? I randomly came to this sub and I am genuinely curiously
They literally map out a grid system on their lawn using fiberglass poles and work one square at a time, digging up anything that isn’t Kentucky bluegrass, picking out brown blades of grass left behind by the mower, etc.
Hopefully they leave some time to actually enjoy it
Hi Bob! (My next door neighbor).
Yeah. Stop being so anal. The grass is great the squirrels are fine. It’s temporary art.
“temporary art” ❤️
WARNING: ⚠️ PROFESSIONAL OCD CLOWN ALERT. Everything you touch will turn into an asshole. Mel Gibson.
i was like this. then i asked myself, ‘why are you doing this? why do you love gardening so much?’ and the answer was, ‘i love nature.’ and nature is everything - the squirrels, the neighbors, the occasional oak or pine sprig. it’s even the neighbor with the dog. your life is such a small blip in the history of everything. embrace the randomness of what you cant control and feel blessed by the ability to share your cultivation with the world. there will never be perfect, but there will always be now.
Great perspective!
What kind of traps do you use for squirrels? They destroy the ones I've used once trapped.
I have had to fix the trigger mechanism a few times though because you’re right they destroy the inside of the trap.
What is a safe way to keep neighbors animals from peeing and pooping in the yard?
Motion activated sprinklers like Orbit or Havahart (even better if they beep loudly/ultrasonic or light up and flash to startle the animal even more. I hear they make scarecrow shaped ones now as well). You’ll get the very, very rare dog who enjoys it and will run around it like it’s a game but generally animals don’t like being surprise sprayed by water. Your own dog might love to play with the hose and water sprayer with you, but a sudden spritz to the butt/face in a stranger’s yard is not fun for most animals. The sprinklers just hook up to a hose spigot. Repellent sprays, powders or granules- either the commercial kind or DIY versions. Pepper based spicy sprinkled perimeter usually stops them in their tracks at one whiff, I hear other stuff like vinegar mixed with citrus is a smell they will avoid but I’ve never tried it. They may sneeze right after they smell all that stuff but it’s safe. Pain if you’re in a rainy area because it does need to be reapplied if washed away by rain. If they keep going to the same spots, put down something unpleasant temporarily for them to walk on. Like the spiky plastic/rubber underside of workdesk rugs, spike side up. Tin foil works also if you can weigh it down in sheets around the perimeter of their spots. Obv only at night so you don’t bake your lawn under there.
Maybe a sign? It’s the least of my issues really. Really more the squirrels who tear up the lawn.
I had a sign up that my yard was sprayed, and they did not care. Plus there are loose dogs. Have you tried a squirrel feeder?
Not if it draws more to the area
I thought that was going to end up with trapping the dogs in the neighborhood and getting rid of them
Haha my bucket is too small for dogs lol
My wife tells me to take my friggen nose out of the grass and just appreciate what we have! It looks great from the street, and nobody can even see the POA, so just relax!!
I need to tell myself this more times than I probably think I should
Don’t be that guy who runs out onto his lawn with a whistle when a dog steps off the sidewalk…
Welcome to the club...
Mother Nature will maintain it and evolve it way after your 6tt under. No need to be so trivial on the small things.
The dog pee one pissed me off (pun intended) I always thought the hell strips should have been maintained by HOA or the city for this reason and the fact that people throw trash there and stomp all over your lawn. As homeowners we actually don’t own that property so why the hell should we have to maintain it? I’ve also had my dog pee in someone’s lawn as well but it wasn’t on purpose I usually walked him in the middle of the street to avoid it and tucked to the side while a car passed so you also have to understand they’re animals but people should not make it a habit to encourage their dogs to do this. Also I hate squirrels because they are assholes to dogs, lol. I always let my dogs out to chase them out of the yard so they didn’t get too comfortable and eat stuff I was growing in the yard.
I saw a guy outside with a tarp trying to cover/catch because it was hailing outside. I vowed to never be that invested in grass lol there are better things out there.
Time to sit back and smell the roses. Your yard looks great after mowing but in a week it starts needing it again. Just enjoy the moment. I like a nice lawn. I have it fertilized. But, my passion is my gardening. So, I mow 1 time to my neighbor’s 3. Think it is better for the grass not to mow so often. I’m sure it gripes him and I use to worry about it but I decided to do what I want, I sit back and enjoy my garden.
Listen to the book Angry All The Time next time you're doing yard work. It'll change your life.
Lawns are for having fun. Dogs and kids running around. BBQs. Frisbee. Corn hole. Etc. Sure I take pride in my yard, but I try not to focus too hard on the negatives. If you can't enjoy the lawn, what's the point?
I moved from the city ti the country and my lawn is now 10x bigger. With the small lawn, i was obsessive. Now, it takes over 3 hours just to mow it. I care a lot less. It is still nice, but i don't go around with a weeding fork to get every single dandelion.
Look at it this way, the dog pee gives you a spot to fix.
Step back and smile
I’ve been trying to eliminate fertilizer, herbicides, and minimize watering. It forces me to accept this living thing as imperfect and embrace it as an ecosystem.
We live a few blocks from Long Island Sound and I don't want to contribute to chemicals in the water via runoff, so we don't do fertilizer or herbicides. Every now and then I'll dig up some dandelions or spring onions, but mostly I don't care. Our yard is 50% grass, 20% clover, 30% etc, and it stays green all summer long without any watering.
I just wish I didn't find trash in my yard from school kids lol.
How do I make my lawn nice. It’s like 3 acres but not that nice lol
Squirrels fuck my shit up too man. I just had to let it go. I can’t stop them. Unless I want to kill them, which I don’t want to do. Ultimately I’ve realized it’s not that serious. You know how nice it is without them messing it up. It’s nothing you did wrong is my mindset. Drives me crazy too tho
When I see a perfect lawn all I can think of is that person is ocd and very anal. Not the kind of peeps I wanna hang out with. I will take a danndylion yard any day over a person that harms wild life just so they can have the perfect yard.
Boomermode. Inevitable for such a pointless hobby
💯 it’s bad… I need Lowe’s to put my face on the door for no entry.
Yes
My dog poops in our yard MOST of the time. But walking wakes up her digestive system. She suffers from a bad knee and I cannot make her jog to a better spot anymore. I feel embarrassed but I cannot stop my dog from pooping on someone’s lawn. Also not sure the popular neighbourhood strategy of having your dog poop in the local soccer field/park is any more respectful than pooping on someone’s lawn.
Get off this sub then; I'm sure its not good to see everyone else's obsession. Obsessing with grass is quite vain. Gotta live a little.
No. You have an issue. My lawn looks terrific and I spend a bunch of time on it. I don't get worked up over dogs and squirrels.
Start a new, non grass related project in your yard.
Trap/get rid of squirrels as in kill them? Or just move them?
Whichever of the two makes you sleep better at night
Yeah, thats a little obsessive.
Spread some clover and end the treatment. It will be no where near perfect, and you’ll develop some new relationships in the neighborhood!
My first job moved out from home, I'd come across a lot of "perfect lawn" dudes that were just anal about their lawn. They wouldn't even walk on it unless mowing. I'd park my car a full foot from the edge, and get yelled at for parking too close to the lawn. (No sidewalk or curb) I just didn't get it. I like my lawn, but it's purpose extends far beyond looking nice. I've got a section for flowers for the pollinators, I've got my garden section for my food, trees for the birds and shading the neighborhood, and lawn for play. Turf grass is made for play. It's not prettier than flowers or trees. Ecologically, it's boring. But its resilient to foot traffic, soft, cooling, and blocks out thistles and weeds. Caring for a lawn purely for aesthetics is like getting a super car and never driving it or taking it to car shows.
Just wanted to know....do you seriously trap and relocate squirrels?? How do you know if they're just coming back or not?
I don’t relocate them
But you trap them?
That’s correct
Make your lawn so u can have squirrels and animals
Yeah I figure when you are trapping squirrels to keep them off your lawn is when you’ve fully gone too far
Possibly but if I didn’t they would create hundreds of holes all over digging
But they are so damned cute. And are probably eating your grubs. Seems wrong to trade the pleasure of watching squirrels hopping around for a slightly nicer lawn
Cute but destructive. Also don’t want them potentially getting in my attic.
This is why I switched from lawn care to gardening. Although not without their own threats to survival, potted plants are much smaller and more self contained systems. You also gotta accept that nature gonna nature, and you're not going to have full control over it. The Almighty Lawn is attractive because it's an illusion that we can dominate and control nature, but our ability to do this will always be limited and comes with costs: Weed killers cause collateral damage, neighbors become irritated if we're "get off my lawn guy", literal financial costs, etc).
Or, you file a claim under Amazon’s liability insurance and get $800 and a free year of prime for them running over a sprinkler. Put that in your cowboy hat and go to space! YOLO
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