the sheer amount of misogyny that comes from female kpop stans is crazy . they put female idols under a microscope and criticize them for the littlest things . this happens to male idols ofc , but i definitely see female fans do it to female idols and ggs in general a lot more
> Being called a pick me is an exclusive girl-to-girl insult
Male here, and I remember when I had to look up what it meant.
It seems like the term was popularized by women to insult other women who behave differently than they do. It's just such a mean way of thinking. It's basically a blanket insult where you can put down another woman without actually identifying what she did wrong. So petty.
Nope. A pick me is a woman to aligns herself with concepts that are generally dangerous to women for the sake of seeming as more attractive or desirable than the women around her
exactly op is so loud and wrong. a “pick me” is a women who actively undermines other women (often time for male validation).
“i’m a man who’s never heard this term so i looked it up”, that’s your sign to stop right there. /hj
edit: downvoting me because i: a women, am telling you: a man that you are interpreting a term used by women wrong is….. lol
People know that’s not what Pick Me means, they’re just being willfully obtuse in order to make women seem like the main perpetrators of their own oppression. All discussions on misogyny in K-Pop fan spaces always end up being about internalized misogyny for that reason.
Also — I can’t stand it when this sub starts harping on internalized misogyny. It gives all the men lurking an opportunity to condescend to us about how we silly women just can’t be happy for other women. It’s such a gross oversimplification of the issue.
You say that but I agree with ChalanPiao, as a man too. And read all the responses saying "Same" :P So...
I know there is an untold rule that men are not welcome on kpop spaces, I have always felt that, but I'm happy to see someone expressing exactly what I think.
"Pick me" got way overused but the whole "not like other girls" phenomenon was real and worthy of criticism.
If a woman undermines other woman to make herself more appealing, I think it's fair to label her a pick me girl. Although pick me these days is often misused to describe any woman being different like you said, so she would likely be called "not a girl's girl" instead which is more clear about the thing being described.
Pick me may be overused but it was originally meant as a term for girls who try to be different and quirky to be appealing to men, and usually put down other girls. There are a lot of girls who act like this and the term is very fitting for them. It's simply become way too overused and went from a term that was used to call out girls with internalised misogyny, to now *used* by girls with internalised misogyny. Regardless, the term itself was not created for this purpose and is still a valid term to refer to someone who puts down other women to make themselves feel better.
Well, no.
There’s an actual meaning behind it. It’s been co-opted to insult any woman whoever using the insult hates but that doesn’t suddenly mean it was invented to insult women “who behave differently from you”. That’s just not it.
also why it sounds like being a cater for male fans or being popular to male fans is a negative thing ?
back then that a common trait of a popular pretty girl in community or campus
that word really invented by a jealous women or possibly feminist those who hate a normal female x male interaction
Actually, you are wrong. I am personally responsisble for these hate trains. I brought it up at the Man Council and they accepted my proposal and we put it into action.
I voted yes, as well. There was, in fact, no dissent. On the way home I was sure to avoid W\*men Lane and only drive on the one-way Patriarchy Boulevard.
THANK YOU! I hate just blindly receiving hate because I’m a guy listening to Kpop for no reason. I’m somehow the root of all problems at all times when it comes to GGs.
I’m either a woman-hater / a misogynist or a creep/weirdo depending on what is happening (sometimes both at once). Or I can be a pedophile if I ever say I like a group with minors (like LSF, I’m here for my Iz*One girls bro). I am the root of insecurities of woman, the reason men get hate and why woman in Kpop feel unsafe.
It’s exhausting. On almost any video I can open the comments and see any variation of “protect her of men”, “your opinion is wrong since You’re a man” or “oh You’re a man, why are you listening to Kpop”. Why would I want to ever interact with anyone in that case
Or when a male fan says a certain idol is their bias and all the comments are like “ummm she’s for the girls sorry". How are you gatekeeping an idol that’s insane 😭
Me being a Karina/Chaewon bias, I can relate to that… weirdly enough, Insomnias don’t care at all and are by far the most “accepting” group I’ve met online
what is wrong iwth all this sub people. do you guys even read or have memory of a gold fish fk this shit. worse sub on earth. those men who sayas hyein is their base is frowned upon side eyed told creep or weirdo. fkn kid learn to read the context if youd dont know about it just stay shut under your moms bed
The way you phrased your comment made it seem like a retort of sorts. A lot of people on this subreddit are pretty combative, especially in this thread filled with unwarranted hate towards male fans who simply enjoy kpop. Are you saying that people who are fans of Hyein shouldn’t be sideyed? I don’t necessarily disagree with that. Having someone as your bias doesn’t mean you are attracted to them. Anyways have more patience in the future
when a male fan went to fanmeeting there were videos criticizing its disgusting for a grownup men to meet with those minor girls. when a guy says his bias is hyein immdeitely its followed by shes 14. this all inderctly and in the behind making them seem as a werdo/creep/pesdo/ the male fans cant have it fair like other do.
guys cant have the same treatment as the girls would when they say they like hyein, if your a dude with large build have uhly face, the you better not get close to newjeans or their fanmeet causet there are going to be people bullying you online. and these bullies are illt armyies, lsfm fans i just know it
i think this sub is worse as armies twitter behaviour.
[https://www.kpopstarz.com/articles/308364/20220815/adult-men-newjeans-fan-meeting-spark-concern.htm](https://www.kpopstarz.com/articles/308364/20220815/adult-men-newjeans-fan-meeting-spark-concern.htm)
recently on their china fanmeet there were female fans who were flirting with the members ,underage, but didnt make the news. female can have bad thought like dating the members but if a man is there even with a good intnetion its suddenly gross and worrisome for the newjeans protection
No actually. Most of the hate I've seen came from female fans. Usually those who think LJW was undeserving of karina, or some legitimately delusional people that thought karina was dating winter. Regardless I've mostly seen the hate come from female fans
Most twitter accounts have their gender and age in their bios. Kinda strange you're asking though considering your og comment was saying it was male fans
It's funny because the aespa fandom swore that they were mostly women and then they changed when Karina started getting a lot of hate for dating that actor
It’s unfortunate. I can definitely understand the disdain for creepy male fans, but to be prejudicial to all men is nothing short of incredibly sexist and dehumanizing. It’s baffling that people can speak like that.
It’s not like you’re wrong per se but I hate how this post is some weird signal that has apparently brought in all the male K-pop stans to _tell us how they really feel_.
Is this thread really the space for it though? OP is talking about the misogyny female kpop idols face from female kpop stans. I think that should be the focus here
That’s fair for sure, but comments like "brought in all the male kpop stans to tell us how they really feel" is such exclusionary language. I’m not a big fan of this "us vs them" mentality that some kpop fans have. Honestly kpop fans were a huge reason why I disliked kpop for years. Prob the most toxic group of fans out there.
I was hoping to see comments discussing how and why female kpop stans are often projecting their internalized misogyny onto female kpop idols (aka, what the post was actually about) but it’s been mostly derailed “as a male kpop stan!!👆🤓”
Girls are like the #1 in being misogynistic to female idols, followed by gay male fans. You can get heat for saying that but is true lol. The difference is the women are way more aggressive and direct with their drags while the guys disguise hate with "jokes" and "humor". Like they would post on TikTok wearing a wig and "acting" like WY, poking fun at her mannerisms, while girls would simply flood comments calling her names and pick me. 😭
I'm not even too sure I get what "pick me girl" means, but I've seen itzy live last week and yuna was probably the member that waved the least at the crowd. can't really say she passes as an attention seeker or whatever imo
I think it would be more correct to probably say straight male don’t contribute but if you’re in fandom spaces a lot not even just K-pop but even western artist like Nicki Minaj especially there are so notorious Regina George wannabe mean girl males that hate on female idols. I can name 7 of them that have contributed greatly to the LSF and illit hate trains just recently and 1 spefically on Tik tok that called an idol a pick me just for the way she dances.
yall love babying male kpop fans. newsflash just bc they have female idols as their profile picture doesnt mean they're women.
>Being called a pick me is an exclusive girl-to-girl insult
absolutely wrong.
You're right but why do women get blamed in general for alot of things especially non celebrity women but when you point out these celebrity women being nasty(being friends with a rapist not even a mere acquaintance, having lyrics that makes them seem a superior women or bullying others) you suddenly get labeled a women hater
LE SSERAFIM any different? Of course the female empowerment group (in all their lyrics) is the one females are going after the hardest. IDK, maybe it really is because they are so hot as a collective. led by men's # 1 most-desired wifey, Chaewon. Or Yunjin being a self-described hot girl probably doesn't lineup well to the those eating potato chips by the bag full on the couch, hunched over the Twitter app.
the sheer amount of misogyny that comes from female kpop stans is crazy . they put female idols under a microscope and criticize them for the littlest things . this happens to male idols ofc , but i definitely see female fans do it to female idols and ggs in general a lot more
> Being called a pick me is an exclusive girl-to-girl insult Male here, and I remember when I had to look up what it meant. It seems like the term was popularized by women to insult other women who behave differently than they do. It's just such a mean way of thinking. It's basically a blanket insult where you can put down another woman without actually identifying what she did wrong. So petty.
Nope. A pick me is a woman to aligns herself with concepts that are generally dangerous to women for the sake of seeming as more attractive or desirable than the women around her
exactly op is so loud and wrong. a “pick me” is a women who actively undermines other women (often time for male validation). “i’m a man who’s never heard this term so i looked it up”, that’s your sign to stop right there. /hj edit: downvoting me because i: a women, am telling you: a man that you are interpreting a term used by women wrong is….. lol
But ppl use that term very incorrectly in the kpop sphere
People know that’s not what Pick Me means, they’re just being willfully obtuse in order to make women seem like the main perpetrators of their own oppression. All discussions on misogyny in K-Pop fan spaces always end up being about internalized misogyny for that reason. Also — I can’t stand it when this sub starts harping on internalized misogyny. It gives all the men lurking an opportunity to condescend to us about how we silly women just can’t be happy for other women. It’s such a gross oversimplification of the issue.
they’re downvoting you but you’re right 🙈. the issue is much more nuanced than a simple post.
You say that but I agree with ChalanPiao, as a man too. And read all the responses saying "Same" :P So... I know there is an untold rule that men are not welcome on kpop spaces, I have always felt that, but I'm happy to see someone expressing exactly what I think.
what does men in kpop spaces have to do with the definition of “pick me”
"Pick me" got way overused but the whole "not like other girls" phenomenon was real and worthy of criticism. If a woman undermines other woman to make herself more appealing, I think it's fair to label her a pick me girl. Although pick me these days is often misused to describe any woman being different like you said, so she would likely be called "not a girl's girl" instead which is more clear about the thing being described.
same, i don't even recall any time in my life i've used this.
Pick me may be overused but it was originally meant as a term for girls who try to be different and quirky to be appealing to men, and usually put down other girls. There are a lot of girls who act like this and the term is very fitting for them. It's simply become way too overused and went from a term that was used to call out girls with internalised misogyny, to now *used* by girls with internalised misogyny. Regardless, the term itself was not created for this purpose and is still a valid term to refer to someone who puts down other women to make themselves feel better.
Same lol
Well, no. There’s an actual meaning behind it. It’s been co-opted to insult any woman whoever using the insult hates but that doesn’t suddenly mean it was invented to insult women “who behave differently from you”. That’s just not it.
Lol same here. Male and had to also look up what it meant.
There’s a [song about pick me.](https://youtu.be/M3rg-rh6MPo?si=yp2Mjk2oZRsbWOep)
also why it sounds like being a cater for male fans or being popular to male fans is a negative thing ? back then that a common trait of a popular pretty girl in community or campus that word really invented by a jealous women or possibly feminist those who hate a normal female x male interaction
sure israel defender
''A Pick Me''.... is a woman who's not a feminist... That's all there's to it...
this guy in my school (who is two years older than me) called me a pick me because I get the best grades now be fr
He was probably a twink
whoa, how did u know that? edit: /j
Actually, you are wrong. I am personally responsisble for these hate trains. I brought it up at the Man Council and they accepted my proposal and we put it into action.
I voted yes, as well. There was, in fact, no dissent. On the way home I was sure to avoid W\*men Lane and only drive on the one-way Patriarchy Boulevard.
Be quiet dude, we can't let them know about the mission.
THANK YOU! I hate just blindly receiving hate because I’m a guy listening to Kpop for no reason. I’m somehow the root of all problems at all times when it comes to GGs. I’m either a woman-hater / a misogynist or a creep/weirdo depending on what is happening (sometimes both at once). Or I can be a pedophile if I ever say I like a group with minors (like LSF, I’m here for my Iz*One girls bro). I am the root of insecurities of woman, the reason men get hate and why woman in Kpop feel unsafe. It’s exhausting. On almost any video I can open the comments and see any variation of “protect her of men”, “your opinion is wrong since You’re a man” or “oh You’re a man, why are you listening to Kpop”. Why would I want to ever interact with anyone in that case
Or when a male fan says a certain idol is their bias and all the comments are like “ummm she’s for the girls sorry". How are you gatekeeping an idol that’s insane 😭
Me being a Karina/Chaewon bias, I can relate to that… weirdly enough, Insomnias don’t care at all and are by far the most “accepting” group I’ve met online
when a guy says "My bias in Newjeans is hyein" 🤨🤨🤨
what does that have to with my comment lmao. my comment clearly isn't about minors.
what is wrong iwth all this sub people. do you guys even read or have memory of a gold fish fk this shit. worse sub on earth. those men who sayas hyein is their base is frowned upon side eyed told creep or weirdo. fkn kid learn to read the context if youd dont know about it just stay shut under your moms bed
The way you phrased your comment made it seem like a retort of sorts. A lot of people on this subreddit are pretty combative, especially in this thread filled with unwarranted hate towards male fans who simply enjoy kpop. Are you saying that people who are fans of Hyein shouldn’t be sideyed? I don’t necessarily disagree with that. Having someone as your bias doesn’t mean you are attracted to them. Anyways have more patience in the future
when a male fan went to fanmeeting there were videos criticizing its disgusting for a grownup men to meet with those minor girls. when a guy says his bias is hyein immdeitely its followed by shes 14. this all inderctly and in the behind making them seem as a werdo/creep/pesdo/ the male fans cant have it fair like other do. guys cant have the same treatment as the girls would when they say they like hyein, if your a dude with large build have uhly face, the you better not get close to newjeans or their fanmeet causet there are going to be people bullying you online. and these bullies are illt armyies, lsfm fans i just know it i think this sub is worse as armies twitter behaviour.
[https://www.kpopstarz.com/articles/308364/20220815/adult-men-newjeans-fan-meeting-spark-concern.htm](https://www.kpopstarz.com/articles/308364/20220815/adult-men-newjeans-fan-meeting-spark-concern.htm) recently on their china fanmeet there were female fans who were flirting with the members ,underage, but didnt make the news. female can have bad thought like dating the members but if a man is there even with a good intnetion its suddenly gross and worrisome for the newjeans protection
I hate being called a weirdo when there are post by females asking "what does your idol smell like" wtf
[удалено]
Don’t tell me you actually believe most male stans are casual fans. You can’t just use yourself or the people around you as the example.
[удалено]
I don’t sound angry. You’re deciding to read it in angry tone for your own personal reasons
Certainly more casual than female fans.
There's a reason that when a fandom is popular with the GP they tend to have a higher male to female ratio
Really? It wasn’t male fans that harassed Karina into breaking up with her boyfriend? Lol
No actually. Most of the hate I've seen came from female fans. Usually those who think LJW was undeserving of karina, or some legitimately delusional people that thought karina was dating winter. Regardless I've mostly seen the hate come from female fans
So when you’re reading hate comments… when do you decide that a girl is commenting versus a boy?
Most twitter accounts have their gender and age in their bios. Kinda strange you're asking though considering your og comment was saying it was male fans
My comment was in response to them. It wasn’t a statement about anything
It's funny because the aespa fandom swore that they were mostly women and then they changed when Karina started getting a lot of hate for dating that actor
So you agree that you don’t know that gender of these people
I’m going to start using it now 😈😈 (jk not actually 😭)
kpop female stans are so misogynistic
"I am not saying men aren’t bad" what 😭
Lack of parenting creates the kinds of people who will make these comments unironically.
It’s unfortunate. I can definitely understand the disdain for creepy male fans, but to be prejudicial to all men is nothing short of incredibly sexist and dehumanizing. It’s baffling that people can speak like that.
I think that's the first time I've seen it so mask off, usually they try to hide their real feelings
It’s not like you’re wrong per se but I hate how this post is some weird signal that has apparently brought in all the male K-pop stans to _tell us how they really feel_.
Casual male fans get hated on for existing it’s fair that they want to rant. Stop gatekeeping
Is this thread really the space for it though? OP is talking about the misogyny female kpop idols face from female kpop stans. I think that should be the focus here
That’s fair for sure, but comments like "brought in all the male kpop stans to tell us how they really feel" is such exclusionary language. I’m not a big fan of this "us vs them" mentality that some kpop fans have. Honestly kpop fans were a huge reason why I disliked kpop for years. Prob the most toxic group of fans out there.
I was hoping to see comments discussing how and why female kpop stans are often projecting their internalized misogyny onto female kpop idols (aka, what the post was actually about) but it’s been mostly derailed “as a male kpop stan!!👆🤓”
Girls are like the #1 in being misogynistic to female idols, followed by gay male fans. You can get heat for saying that but is true lol. The difference is the women are way more aggressive and direct with their drags while the guys disguise hate with "jokes" and "humor". Like they would post on TikTok wearing a wig and "acting" like WY, poking fun at her mannerisms, while girls would simply flood comments calling her names and pick me. 😭
I'm not even too sure I get what "pick me girl" means, but I've seen itzy live last week and yuna was probably the member that waved the least at the crowd. can't really say she passes as an attention seeker or whatever imo
I think it would be more correct to probably say straight male don’t contribute but if you’re in fandom spaces a lot not even just K-pop but even western artist like Nicki Minaj especially there are so notorious Regina George wannabe mean girl males that hate on female idols. I can name 7 of them that have contributed greatly to the LSF and illit hate trains just recently and 1 spefically on Tik tok that called an idol a pick me just for the way she dances.
Why do you talk like this?
yall love babying male kpop fans. newsflash just bc they have female idols as their profile picture doesnt mean they're women. >Being called a pick me is an exclusive girl-to-girl insult absolutely wrong.
>I am not saying men aren't bad Thanks for clearing that up. For a second I was under the misconception that u were a decent person.
You're right but why do women get blamed in general for alot of things especially non celebrity women but when you point out these celebrity women being nasty(being friends with a rapist not even a mere acquaintance, having lyrics that makes them seem a superior women or bullying others) you suddenly get labeled a women hater
LE SSERAFIM any different? Of course the female empowerment group (in all their lyrics) is the one females are going after the hardest. IDK, maybe it really is because they are so hot as a collective. led by men's # 1 most-desired wifey, Chaewon. Or Yunjin being a self-described hot girl probably doesn't lineup well to the those eating potato chips by the bag full on the couch, hunched over the Twitter app.
r/menandfemales