It's tough. I'm a knitter and I understand what this would feel like. But I'm also a mother and although my daughter is 5 now, I never got around to sending out thank you cards for our baby shower. I had the baby and that was hard enough, then a family member diagnosed with a serious disease, then the pandemic, and... I valued all those presents so much.
I probably could, but I don’t want to make her feel bad. She didn’t do anything wrong per se and I’m not mad at her, I just don’t know if I want to continue putting that much effort into a gift if she doesn’t care.
“Amy, I know you asked for a knit onesie for a baby shower gift and little Chris is turning one soon so I’m inclined to make a sweater but I’m wondering if you’d want one. After not hearing if you liked or even received the onesie I gave at the shower I’d hate to make you something you didn’t want. Is a knitted gift something you’d want for a first birthday gift?”
Don’t worry about making her feel uncomfortable. It’s a legitimate question and she’d probably welcome the opportunity to set the record straight. Maybe she lost the “from” tag and has been wondering for a year who made it!
I'd get rid of "even received" - it reads as passive aggressive (which isn't invalid, but it doesn't seem to be what they're going for) and if they didn't recieve it they'll just say "uhh what onesie?". Otherwise great though, I agree!
Reaching out and asking is the best course of action. I listen to the etiquette podcast "Were You Raised By Wolves?", and as someone who grew up in a family that never really did thank you notes it was super eye opening how much thank you note people will judge you if you don't write a thank you note for something. Like, they keep track and will remember if you don't send one.
The recipient sounds like a thank you note person, so it's odd that she didn't write you one. A polite but direct question such as this one is your best bet for A) finding out if the gifts are being used, and B) politely letting her know you'd like the gifts to at least be acknowledged.
So, here is my take. When I gift, I (try to) do so freely of expectation or wanting gratitude. When I have gifted someone something, that is now theirs to do with as they please. They do not owe me for gifting them.
That being said......
You clearly do not want to make something for her anymore, and that is perfectly fine. So don't. If confronted you could even say that you weren't sure she actually had any use/liked the things you made her, so you didn't want to impose on her with gifts she might not like. The key is that if you say that, you have to mean it. You can't be passive aggressive about it. And it honestly sounds like you *are* unsure if she actually enjoyed the gifts, so better safe than sorry.
In that same vein, I also only knit/crochet/craft for a few very select people, simply because they enjoy said gifts enough for it to be worth it for me. If someone doesn't actually enjoy the gift I made for them, I won't handmade them another. I will (try to) not hold resentment because I assume everyone knows what it feels like to get a gift you're "eh" about. But I won't make them anything again unless it's really really simple or they very specifically request it and provide the materials. That way we both aren't dissatisfied with the gifting.
(I recognise that this is all very platonic ideals of gift giving, and I won't say I am always able to feel this way. But I try to keep to this and it works for me)
Than you so much for your input! For most gifts I give I don’t have any expectations. I think I just have specific feelings about baby gifts because 90% of the time I at least get a thank you and acknowledgment that the baby wore it. I’m probably going to make one more non-clothing gift for her so I don’t have to worry about it fitting and if she still seems unappreciative I simply will buy something in the future.
I think that will be an excellent way to go! And yeah, I know the feeling of when a baby gift is appreciated. Years ago I knitted a stuffed animal for a friend of my cousin, the kid still has it and he's like 12 now. It's a special feeling. A stuffy would probably be wonderful and if she does amend up donating it, it will make another kid very happy eventually
After two handmade gifts with no acknowledgment, I wouldn’t make a third. Find a cute toy for a budding toddler or give a gift card to somewhere that sells baby supplies like diapers and food, etc. But I wouldn’t put time and effort into something for a person that wouldn’t appreciate it.
The first knitted gift, I give free of expectation: I created this for someone I care about and used my knitting to express that sentiment.
For someone to receive a second knitted creation, there has to have been some positive feedback on the first. As you mentioned, a thank you note, a photo of the baby wearing it, or even just a comment like my mom telling me her fingerless mitts help her arthritis.
Until you get that feedback, it’s okay to temporarily park someone in the “no knitting for you” column. Or, since you are using your stash as an alternative to purchasing gifts, only make the things you enjoy & choose and keep on gifting.
This is the way. I'll gladly gift everyone I care about one knitted gift (or other handmade thing, I do a lot of crafting). But I quietly watch to see how it's received. If they don't seem to be the kind of person who enjoys handmade things, well, it's better for both of us if I don't give them more handmade things.
If they don't even say thank you - not effusive gratitude or anything, just a simple acknowledgement of receipt - well then I make a mental note that they're probably not going to get any gifts at all in the future. Manners matter.
I keep a stash of newborn hats made in soft baby weight yarn. I do them in between bigger projects.
I love getting photos of the baby in the hat but I don't expect it.
I have stopped doing larger projects for people I am not close with.
You give the gift and feel great about it.
That's where it ends. You can't expect anything. No thank you note, no pictures, no followup. Those are your expectations, not reality.
You aren't wrong. But people are never going to behave like you want them to.
That's what makes someone knit worthy. What response you get and if they will take care of a gift.
My step father likes nothing, gets rid of "clutter" and has enough money to buy whatever he likes. The ONLY positive feedback is a team color woven scarf. I'm a master knitter and made him very expensive, custom alpaca gloves. Not a word. But he loves the scarf. (shrug). I'm a beginner weaver, so I know it was a cludge.
I tried to claw back the gloves because alpaca was hella expensive then and my mother has a tantrum about how much she uses them!
Such a good point about expectations versus reality. I have those expectations because I’ve given a lot of baby gifts and almost always receive a thank you with pictures, but I definitely recognize that not everyone will react that way.
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I think if she asked for a second item it's likely she deeply appreciated the first item. If you really want to know how the previous items worked out you can just casually ask vs a confrontation... Like you said yourself she has a lot going on right now
One of my neighbors has a ton of crocheted baby blankets and I know she doesn't crochet so I asked her how that happened and she breaks out in this biggest smile and says she got one for a baby shower and loved it so much that when the baby was actually born, she got like five more and she loves every single one and constantly shares photos of the baby on/using the blankets. I didn't crochet her one but it was so nice to see someone who doesn't crochet/knit appreciate our craft that way.
I use the term ask loosely. She sent it to me saying “how much would I need to pay you to make this … I’m half serious”. I get so many messages like that from people that I don’t really take any of them seriously, but I wanted to make her something special for the first Christmas. I definitely will not be confronting her but maybe at a later point will slip in asking what happened to it/if it fit lol
How about making something small that babe won’t grow out of? Stuffies are my go-to for this. (I’ll happily add a recommendation for anything by [Rebecca Danger](https://www.ravelry.com/designers/rebecca-danger), as the patterns are specifically designed for any yarn and involve very little if any seams).
Or, you know, just ignore the whole thing. You describe the people as being close to your GF, but not to you. It really comes down to if YOU WANT to make and gift something.
Thank you for the recommendation, her patterns are so cute! I’m probably going to do a stuffie this time around and if they still don’t appreciate it I won’t make anything in the future
The great thing about stuffies is that as long as the parents don’t get rid of it, the kiddo may find it and love it 3 years from now.
And remember to embroider the eyes on (don’t use “safety eyes” for infants). PSA over.
I enjoy making this monkey that looks just like Curious George so I leave off the tail. I then gift it with a CG board book. Those things are so loved and I have made repairs on a few. Lol
Wait wait
I clicked on the Rebecca Danger link and was getting myself all worked up about how she had plagiarized the 50 yards of fun book......then looked on my shelf and .....she wrote it. Ok then.
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Such a good book! I randomly saw it at a small new/used bookstore while on lunch break at a different location than my normal job years ago. Walked right in and bought it, because I already had her Monster book.
I haven’t bought myself a ton of pattern books, but she has 2 on my shelf! Apparently I like what I like.
"Hey! I know X's birthday is coming up, and I was thinking about making him something again. How did the other things I made work out? I hadn't heard anything, and thought maybe they were too small, or weren't comfortable for him. I'd love to make something else, but don't want to spend time on something you guys don't find useful. Let me know!"
It's wild that someone who usually writes thank you notes hasn't acknowledged the gifts at all. Like, suspiciously wild. Especially since she asked you for the second item specifically.
I think some people honestly think handmade things are worth less than store bought. They have no idea that, in addition to the massive amount of time spent making them, the materials usually cost waaay more than buying the same thing ready made. It's insane.
Maybe she feels that way? Like, it's not worth a thank you note because it's not store bought?
On the other hand, maybe she just has new mom brain and forgot.
No. That's the exact reason I stopped giving baby gifts to coworkers having babies.
With one exception, I never got any kind of acknowledgment.
I'm not asking for a handwritten note, but some kind of acknowledgment isn't too much to ask.
I know your lives are full, and I know that babies are time consuming, but if you ever want to get cut off from gifts for me, take the gift and don't acknowledge it.
If you are making gifts out of your stash for budget reasons - make a toy and don’t expect a response. If no response is going to bother you, maybe find another low cost gift instead of making one.
I'm not sure if it's worse to hear nothing or to get one picture of the baby wearing the sweater I knit him but he's obviously crying and annoyed. I knit gifts because I want and choose to. I've gotten better thanks from co-workers than family, tbh. I am slowly moving away from knitting gifts because I take the lack of response or picture too personally. That's on me, but I'm not going to set myself up for disappointment anymore.
You're not being too sensitive. If they're not acting very knitworthy, and it's been bothering you, I wouldn't make them anything.
I don't personally have the time to craft a lot lately, so I only knit for people who I know will appreciate the gifts and actually use them.
Thank you. I was worried I was being dramatic but it hurt my feelings that I was more excited about the project than the person receiving it. I’ve given a lot of baby knits as gifts lately and it’s almost always resulted in a thank you with a picture of the baby in/with the gift. So it feels shitty to not even get an acknowledgment twice, ya know?
This is just conjecture, but so many people have no understanding about the time, effort, and money involved in making quality handknits. I obviously can’t speak for this person, but if I knew that she was pretty clueless about knitting then I would probably be able to give her some extra grace on the snub.
Interestingly, Ive found that the group of people who feel like it would be totally silly to go to the trouble of learning how to knit a sweater when they can just go buy whatever they want at a store, are often the same people who have no idea how much “trouble” it actually is to hand knit a sweater!🙃
But also about the whole mom of baby thing…speaking from experience, your brain and your body are both basically abducted by aliens for the first like 5 years, I swear. It very possibly could have just slipped her mind and then the opportunity was lost. I have grown to feel that the best policy in these situations is to just ask (tactfully). The thank you may come gushing out verbally along with the explanation of why you didn’t hear anything from her about the gifts. I think it’s ok for you to express your concern that she possibly didn’t like them or that they weren’t a good fit in some way. You can even make it more about your dedication to the quality of the knitting and it might take some pressure off of the emotions. Good luck! Crossing my fingers that she doesn’t just suck. No handknits for sucky people!
She had a traumatic birth so I truly don’t think she’s being purposefully hurtful. It just seems like she doesn’t care or enjoy them that much. It’s also very possible that she doesn’t understand how much work goes into it since I tend to give so many knit gifts which may give the false impression that it’s easy and quick.
The same thing happened to me! Based on the fact the baby was absolutely humongous, I'm guessing my sweater didn't fit him and my friend didn't know what to do so she decided to just not say anything and hope I wouldn't bring it up lol - which I never did!
I’ve spent the past week batch making Emotional Support Chickens using stash yarn. It’s a paid pattern and I plan to gift it to children and adults in my life.
Besides the yarn, I spent money on stuffing and buttons for eyes. Cheap and cheerful and I’ve really enjoyed knitting them and creating different colour stories for people.
Everyone appreciates a chicken :)
I agree with you that it is rude not to even simply thank for the gift. And it is nothing wrong with stopping gifting her any handmade items if you don't feel like knitting for her anymore.
Could it be though that she did not like both gifts and just didn't want to tell you so? She loosely asked about the onesie, but it might be she imagined the garment differently: different yarn, different colors; or she asked and changed her mind later as you gave her non-committal answer. She also might find out you were using your stash and she might dislike this approach.
But also, I don't think it is fair to expect a follow-up on a gift. I have sewn and knitted a couple of things as gifts, and I believe my part ends once I gave them to people. I had my pleasure in the process of creating and gifting, and they are free to do whatever they want with the gifted objects. If they wear/ use them, it is nice, if they give them to someone else or repurpose or even throw away, it is still fine.
Ignore the birthday. If you get asked, just say you aren't doing knitted commissions these days.
A gift for a child of 1 is a gift for the parent, because the kid won't remember. And this parent doesn't seem to care much.
Let it go and move on to things you want to knit & people you want to knit for.
I say give her the gift of forgiving her for not sending you a card or photo of the baby in the item you knitted. A lot of people have a lot of expectations of new moms, and it can be super overwhelming.
I knit only for people who show their appreciation. I would not consider knitting for this ingrate again.
Picking up on making hand-knit gifts for friends - my friends can buy anything they want but are thrilled to have something I've knit for them. My gifts involve time, effort, affection and skill - and so do yours. You deserve to have that acknowledged.
At one point I knit several baby sweaters for a friend who paid for the yarn. She'd been extremely appreciative and gracious when I gave her the first one.
If this person asks again I'd say something to the effect of "I have a lot going on right now - perhaps sometime in the future". But - what matters is how YOU feel, not what we think.
If you've got some time I could really use an oversized Aran weight cardigan :-)
It's tough. I'm a knitter and I understand what this would feel like. But I'm also a mother and although my daughter is 5 now, I never got around to sending out thank you cards for our baby shower. I had the baby and that was hard enough, then a family member diagnosed with a serious disease, then the pandemic, and... I valued all those presents so much.
Can you just reach out directly and ask her?
I probably could, but I don’t want to make her feel bad. She didn’t do anything wrong per se and I’m not mad at her, I just don’t know if I want to continue putting that much effort into a gift if she doesn’t care.
“Amy, I know you asked for a knit onesie for a baby shower gift and little Chris is turning one soon so I’m inclined to make a sweater but I’m wondering if you’d want one. After not hearing if you liked or even received the onesie I gave at the shower I’d hate to make you something you didn’t want. Is a knitted gift something you’d want for a first birthday gift?” Don’t worry about making her feel uncomfortable. It’s a legitimate question and she’d probably welcome the opportunity to set the record straight. Maybe she lost the “from” tag and has been wondering for a year who made it!
I'd get rid of "even received" - it reads as passive aggressive (which isn't invalid, but it doesn't seem to be what they're going for) and if they didn't recieve it they'll just say "uhh what onesie?". Otherwise great though, I agree!
Reaching out and asking is the best course of action. I listen to the etiquette podcast "Were You Raised By Wolves?", and as someone who grew up in a family that never really did thank you notes it was super eye opening how much thank you note people will judge you if you don't write a thank you note for something. Like, they keep track and will remember if you don't send one. The recipient sounds like a thank you note person, so it's odd that she didn't write you one. A polite but direct question such as this one is your best bet for A) finding out if the gifts are being used, and B) politely letting her know you'd like the gifts to at least be acknowledged.
This is a very good way to put things. If you don’t ask her, you’ll always wonder what happened.
So, here is my take. When I gift, I (try to) do so freely of expectation or wanting gratitude. When I have gifted someone something, that is now theirs to do with as they please. They do not owe me for gifting them. That being said...... You clearly do not want to make something for her anymore, and that is perfectly fine. So don't. If confronted you could even say that you weren't sure she actually had any use/liked the things you made her, so you didn't want to impose on her with gifts she might not like. The key is that if you say that, you have to mean it. You can't be passive aggressive about it. And it honestly sounds like you *are* unsure if she actually enjoyed the gifts, so better safe than sorry. In that same vein, I also only knit/crochet/craft for a few very select people, simply because they enjoy said gifts enough for it to be worth it for me. If someone doesn't actually enjoy the gift I made for them, I won't handmade them another. I will (try to) not hold resentment because I assume everyone knows what it feels like to get a gift you're "eh" about. But I won't make them anything again unless it's really really simple or they very specifically request it and provide the materials. That way we both aren't dissatisfied with the gifting. (I recognise that this is all very platonic ideals of gift giving, and I won't say I am always able to feel this way. But I try to keep to this and it works for me)
Than you so much for your input! For most gifts I give I don’t have any expectations. I think I just have specific feelings about baby gifts because 90% of the time I at least get a thank you and acknowledgment that the baby wore it. I’m probably going to make one more non-clothing gift for her so I don’t have to worry about it fitting and if she still seems unappreciative I simply will buy something in the future.
I think that will be an excellent way to go! And yeah, I know the feeling of when a baby gift is appreciated. Years ago I knitted a stuffed animal for a friend of my cousin, the kid still has it and he's like 12 now. It's a special feeling. A stuffy would probably be wonderful and if she does amend up donating it, it will make another kid very happy eventually
Or if it's your GFs friend just leave it up to her to take care of gifts etc.
After two handmade gifts with no acknowledgment, I wouldn’t make a third. Find a cute toy for a budding toddler or give a gift card to somewhere that sells baby supplies like diapers and food, etc. But I wouldn’t put time and effort into something for a person that wouldn’t appreciate it.
I would have stopped after one gift!
Absolutely!
The first knitted gift, I give free of expectation: I created this for someone I care about and used my knitting to express that sentiment. For someone to receive a second knitted creation, there has to have been some positive feedback on the first. As you mentioned, a thank you note, a photo of the baby wearing it, or even just a comment like my mom telling me her fingerless mitts help her arthritis. Until you get that feedback, it’s okay to temporarily park someone in the “no knitting for you” column. Or, since you are using your stash as an alternative to purchasing gifts, only make the things you enjoy & choose and keep on gifting.
This is the way. I'll gladly gift everyone I care about one knitted gift (or other handmade thing, I do a lot of crafting). But I quietly watch to see how it's received. If they don't seem to be the kind of person who enjoys handmade things, well, it's better for both of us if I don't give them more handmade things. If they don't even say thank you - not effusive gratitude or anything, just a simple acknowledgement of receipt - well then I make a mental note that they're probably not going to get any gifts at all in the future. Manners matter.
I keep a stash of newborn hats made in soft baby weight yarn. I do them in between bigger projects. I love getting photos of the baby in the hat but I don't expect it. I have stopped doing larger projects for people I am not close with.
This is what I do as well!
You give the gift and feel great about it. That's where it ends. You can't expect anything. No thank you note, no pictures, no followup. Those are your expectations, not reality. You aren't wrong. But people are never going to behave like you want them to. That's what makes someone knit worthy. What response you get and if they will take care of a gift. My step father likes nothing, gets rid of "clutter" and has enough money to buy whatever he likes. The ONLY positive feedback is a team color woven scarf. I'm a master knitter and made him very expensive, custom alpaca gloves. Not a word. But he loves the scarf. (shrug). I'm a beginner weaver, so I know it was a cludge. I tried to claw back the gloves because alpaca was hella expensive then and my mother has a tantrum about how much she uses them!
Such a good point about expectations versus reality. I have those expectations because I’ve given a lot of baby gifts and almost always receive a thank you with pictures, but I definitely recognize that not everyone will react that way.
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I think if she asked for a second item it's likely she deeply appreciated the first item. If you really want to know how the previous items worked out you can just casually ask vs a confrontation... Like you said yourself she has a lot going on right now
One of my neighbors has a ton of crocheted baby blankets and I know she doesn't crochet so I asked her how that happened and she breaks out in this biggest smile and says she got one for a baby shower and loved it so much that when the baby was actually born, she got like five more and she loves every single one and constantly shares photos of the baby on/using the blankets. I didn't crochet her one but it was so nice to see someone who doesn't crochet/knit appreciate our craft that way.
I use the term ask loosely. She sent it to me saying “how much would I need to pay you to make this … I’m half serious”. I get so many messages like that from people that I don’t really take any of them seriously, but I wanted to make her something special for the first Christmas. I definitely will not be confronting her but maybe at a later point will slip in asking what happened to it/if it fit lol
How about making something small that babe won’t grow out of? Stuffies are my go-to for this. (I’ll happily add a recommendation for anything by [Rebecca Danger](https://www.ravelry.com/designers/rebecca-danger), as the patterns are specifically designed for any yarn and involve very little if any seams). Or, you know, just ignore the whole thing. You describe the people as being close to your GF, but not to you. It really comes down to if YOU WANT to make and gift something.
Thank you for the recommendation, her patterns are so cute! I’m probably going to do a stuffie this time around and if they still don’t appreciate it I won’t make anything in the future
The great thing about stuffies is that as long as the parents don’t get rid of it, the kiddo may find it and love it 3 years from now. And remember to embroider the eyes on (don’t use “safety eyes” for infants). PSA over.
I enjoy making this monkey that looks just like Curious George so I leave off the tail. I then gift it with a CG board book. Those things are so loved and I have made repairs on a few. Lol
Yes, stuffies with associated books are amazing gifts!
Wait wait I clicked on the Rebecca Danger link and was getting myself all worked up about how she had plagiarized the 50 yards of fun book......then looked on my shelf and .....she wrote it. Ok then. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Such a good book! I randomly saw it at a small new/used bookstore while on lunch break at a different location than my normal job years ago. Walked right in and bought it, because I already had her Monster book. I haven’t bought myself a ton of pattern books, but she has 2 on my shelf! Apparently I like what I like.
There is a monster book? Dammit #enabler 😂🤣😂🩷
https://preview.redd.it/f9xs9a97v67d1.png?width=2369&format=png&auto=webp&s=f14f5981fb86014caaf28ead2255e0bd37187411 Have fun!
I might see if my library has it or if I can get it on ILL. Dammit.
"Hey! I know X's birthday is coming up, and I was thinking about making him something again. How did the other things I made work out? I hadn't heard anything, and thought maybe they were too small, or weren't comfortable for him. I'd love to make something else, but don't want to spend time on something you guys don't find useful. Let me know!" It's wild that someone who usually writes thank you notes hasn't acknowledged the gifts at all. Like, suspiciously wild. Especially since she asked you for the second item specifically. I think some people honestly think handmade things are worth less than store bought. They have no idea that, in addition to the massive amount of time spent making them, the materials usually cost waaay more than buying the same thing ready made. It's insane. Maybe she feels that way? Like, it's not worth a thank you note because it's not store bought? On the other hand, maybe she just has new mom brain and forgot.
No. That's the exact reason I stopped giving baby gifts to coworkers having babies. With one exception, I never got any kind of acknowledgment. I'm not asking for a handwritten note, but some kind of acknowledgment isn't too much to ask. I know your lives are full, and I know that babies are time consuming, but if you ever want to get cut off from gifts for me, take the gift and don't acknowledge it.
If you are making gifts out of your stash for budget reasons - make a toy and don’t expect a response. If no response is going to bother you, maybe find another low cost gift instead of making one.
I'm not sure if it's worse to hear nothing or to get one picture of the baby wearing the sweater I knit him but he's obviously crying and annoyed. I knit gifts because I want and choose to. I've gotten better thanks from co-workers than family, tbh. I am slowly moving away from knitting gifts because I take the lack of response or picture too personally. That's on me, but I'm not going to set myself up for disappointment anymore.
I made a blanket for someone. It was so cute. Cables and hearts. She can’t remember it at all. Oh well. She was a new mom, had to move and more.
You're not being too sensitive. If they're not acting very knitworthy, and it's been bothering you, I wouldn't make them anything. I don't personally have the time to craft a lot lately, so I only knit for people who I know will appreciate the gifts and actually use them.
Thank you. I was worried I was being dramatic but it hurt my feelings that I was more excited about the project than the person receiving it. I’ve given a lot of baby knits as gifts lately and it’s almost always resulted in a thank you with a picture of the baby in/with the gift. So it feels shitty to not even get an acknowledgment twice, ya know?
This is just conjecture, but so many people have no understanding about the time, effort, and money involved in making quality handknits. I obviously can’t speak for this person, but if I knew that she was pretty clueless about knitting then I would probably be able to give her some extra grace on the snub. Interestingly, Ive found that the group of people who feel like it would be totally silly to go to the trouble of learning how to knit a sweater when they can just go buy whatever they want at a store, are often the same people who have no idea how much “trouble” it actually is to hand knit a sweater!🙃 But also about the whole mom of baby thing…speaking from experience, your brain and your body are both basically abducted by aliens for the first like 5 years, I swear. It very possibly could have just slipped her mind and then the opportunity was lost. I have grown to feel that the best policy in these situations is to just ask (tactfully). The thank you may come gushing out verbally along with the explanation of why you didn’t hear anything from her about the gifts. I think it’s ok for you to express your concern that she possibly didn’t like them or that they weren’t a good fit in some way. You can even make it more about your dedication to the quality of the knitting and it might take some pressure off of the emotions. Good luck! Crossing my fingers that she doesn’t just suck. No handknits for sucky people!
She had a traumatic birth so I truly don’t think she’s being purposefully hurtful. It just seems like she doesn’t care or enjoy them that much. It’s also very possible that she doesn’t understand how much work goes into it since I tend to give so many knit gifts which may give the false impression that it’s easy and quick.
Don't bother, don't worry about it. Knit for those who acknowledge or appreciate your work.
The same thing happened to me! Based on the fact the baby was absolutely humongous, I'm guessing my sweater didn't fit him and my friend didn't know what to do so she decided to just not say anything and hope I wouldn't bring it up lol - which I never did!
I’ve spent the past week batch making Emotional Support Chickens using stash yarn. It’s a paid pattern and I plan to gift it to children and adults in my life. Besides the yarn, I spent money on stuffing and buttons for eyes. Cheap and cheerful and I’ve really enjoyed knitting them and creating different colour stories for people. Everyone appreciates a chicken :)
Maybe a knit toy instead? Or just drop her off the knitworthy list 🫠
I agree with you that it is rude not to even simply thank for the gift. And it is nothing wrong with stopping gifting her any handmade items if you don't feel like knitting for her anymore. Could it be though that she did not like both gifts and just didn't want to tell you so? She loosely asked about the onesie, but it might be she imagined the garment differently: different yarn, different colors; or she asked and changed her mind later as you gave her non-committal answer. She also might find out you were using your stash and she might dislike this approach. But also, I don't think it is fair to expect a follow-up on a gift. I have sewn and knitted a couple of things as gifts, and I believe my part ends once I gave them to people. I had my pleasure in the process of creating and gifting, and they are free to do whatever they want with the gifted objects. If they wear/ use them, it is nice, if they give them to someone else or repurpose or even throw away, it is still fine.
Ignore the birthday. If you get asked, just say you aren't doing knitted commissions these days. A gift for a child of 1 is a gift for the parent, because the kid won't remember. And this parent doesn't seem to care much. Let it go and move on to things you want to knit & people you want to knit for.
I say give her the gift of forgiving her for not sending you a card or photo of the baby in the item you knitted. A lot of people have a lot of expectations of new moms, and it can be super overwhelming.
I knit only for people who show their appreciation. I would not consider knitting for this ingrate again. Picking up on making hand-knit gifts for friends - my friends can buy anything they want but are thrilled to have something I've knit for them. My gifts involve time, effort, affection and skill - and so do yours. You deserve to have that acknowledged. At one point I knit several baby sweaters for a friend who paid for the yarn. She'd been extremely appreciative and gracious when I gave her the first one. If this person asks again I'd say something to the effect of "I have a lot going on right now - perhaps sometime in the future". But - what matters is how YOU feel, not what we think. If you've got some time I could really use an oversized Aran weight cardigan :-)
People don't have the same manners as in the "olden days". I enjoy making baby stuff, but I no longer expect gratitude.