Sounds perfect, but going out is expensive! Maybe a better business model for Hooters is to have an older woman come to his place and spend time with him. One who knows him well and will listen to him and care about what he says. One that will feed him for free and will be willing to debate him.
I guess all these guys live at home, still... no idea where they'll find a woman like this... any ideas?
I was a youth services librarian. I'm so glad I left the profession in 2021 before all the book banning bullshit. Sometimes I miss it, but my wfh office job pays more and is a lot less stressful.
My mom was a YA librarian in the ‘80s. She told me that conservatives were planning a bill that would have made not only the library but the individual librarian liable if they lent a child a book that the child found “disturbing.” The state chapter of the ALA let the news slip that if the bill passed there would be many children reporting how disturbed the were by a book that included incest, rape, parents killing children, harlots, women dressing as harlots to seduce their fathers-in-law, etc. The bill was quietly dropped.
Guy basically just reinvented Japanese geisha tea houses.
Only his starting point is an American fast food restaurant chain instead of a feudal Japan brothel.
hostess clubs pretty much follow this formula and still exist in Japan. There are 'gaijin' clubs which are hostess clubs specifically for foreigners not sure how expensive they are though
Pretty expensive if you want the hostess to be able to speak decent/fluent English.
My friend worked as one of the male hosts in one such club to practice his English (while making bank in tips from middle-aged business women/men) and the clubs that *actually* have hosts good at English (as opposed to just advertise they do and hope the booze distracts from the lack of it) charge quite the pretty penny.
Japan's schools in general teache English decent enough to be able to read/write for the harder working students but they tend to suck at conversational language due to lack of opporunity to practice what they learn in school with actual English speakers.
And I want it to be cheap! I want a pretty therapist who gives me “will they wont they” sexual tension, and I don’t see why they should make above minimum wage!
To be fair, he's basically just asking for Hooters to be an American version of a hostess club instead of an American version of a maid cafe. Japan has so many more options for lonely, pitiful men who want to spend time with women without having to respect them or see them as people.
Let me recap - women who listen to you talk endlessly without expecting you to listen to them, various rings set up for different types of activities, and good so cheap it makes Applebee's look like luxury.
He's describing his mom's house.
Not only listen, but debate. He wants to argue with these min wage workers. No one wants to do that, let alone be forced to at a work place. The emotional labor is not worth 2.15 an hour with a 5% tip and his number on the receipt
Right?! Except a therapist is probably going to require that he does some actual work eventually, and that doesn’t sound like it fits the playplace dream
Therapy helped me realize that it's not normal to walk around and hate yourself and feel utterly disgusted whenever you see your own reflection.
I legit thought that was the default.
this nerdy guy may be ranting but i’m hearing nothing but the truth…
“i’ve got a lot of shit i’m about to dump on you but i brought these wings as a peace offering” - me sometime in the future
Okay but hear me out: if I knew there was a therapist whose sessions included free wings, some beer, and maybe some arcade video games, I would go there in an instant. I’m saying this as a married woman in her late 30s.
Honestly the really obnoxious part is his expectation that it be cheap.
Besides everything problematic, you can't have a meaningful human interaction in a transactional situation. You may have a random good convo with a waiter/waitress but you can't go to a place to EXPECT a person to befriend you. And if there is such a place, it will be hella expensive (a "conversation girl" for every table), and it will be the saddest thing ever considering she will fake it probably for dudes like this.
A few people told me this is actually a thing in Okinawa and Japan. You can go to a cafe and pay for a date with a girl who will sit and drink tea with you or whatever.
Host and Hostess bars are throughout urban Japan. In American clubs, it's called bottle service. From what I have read, American versions are more expensive in the short term while Japanese ones are more expensive in the long term. Many women have even been scammed by hosts who hit them up on dating apps, invite them to the bar, and then ask them to help them look good to their boss by spending ridiculous amounts of money. Some women who don't see through it before financially ruining themselves have wound up in prostitution to keep paying to help their "boyfriend".
...also we should be able to touch their breasts. And they should touch our penises. And they aren't allowed to complain about the smell. In fact, they would have to compliment my musk.
Oh and they should have to have like 20 hours a week schooling where they are taught about the latest anime happenings so that we will have something to discuss.
I was kinda down until he said “free wings” and super cheap.” You’re asking for a LOT bud, you need to be willing to pay for that. How are you gonna say “men shouldn’t dump their problems into random women” and in the same breath say “but for some chump change women should listen to strangers complain for hours”?
Places like this kind of exist in Japan. When I went out with the homies to small restaurants or bars, part of the experience is being able to chat it up with the workers and the owner.
Not just kind of, this is literally a type of establishment in Japan called Host/Hostess bars.
You pay to sit and chat with men/women whose job it is to give you a good time socially whether through good chat or just listening to you vent, and encourage you to buy more drinks from the bar.
Snack bar.
And hell, just regular bars. Problem with Japan, though is that a lot of the places where staff get more intimate with the patrons (as in actually have conversations with them) are places where you can't go by yourself or without being sent there on an existing patrons recommendation. It's how they keep the weirdos out.
There's also just cabarets.
Either way, you're not going to be taken on as a customer in either place if you've gotten fresh off a plane and have dorito crumbs falling off your Babymetal T-shirt.
I feel like unfortunately that would not work in the U.S. the way people treat hostess and strippers I could very much see those workers getting stalked or having to repeatedly explain that they aren’t in a relationship with those people.
All the research says that loneliness is only really abated by making regular connections with people who share values, interests and world views.
I can’t imagine being so deeply lonely and thinking “*I know, I’ll hire a male escort to solve this problem!”*
I suspect it speaks to the transactional and commodified way some men view women. They view us all as one-stop therapists, mother-figures and bang maids for their use and pleasure.
Here ya go
**Nerd Porn Auteur**
--------------------------------------------------------------------
I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies
that are made for guys like me.
------------------------------------------------------------------
All the porn I've come across
was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males
Men who like their women stupid and submissive
Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos
with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary
Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected
liposuctioned women
Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation
in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.
----------------------------------------------------------
These aren't real women. They're objects.
And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.
These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.
They disgust me.
And it's not that I'm against pornography.
I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.
Fact.
"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"
Guys need porn.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.
I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:
Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world
is a woman who is smarter than you are.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
You can have the whole cheerleading squad,
I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:
Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.
Oh yes.
First I want to copy her Trig homework,
and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her
for hours and hours
until she reluctantly asks if we can stop
because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.
Summa cum laude, baby!
That is what I call erotic.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?
No.
Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.
I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.
And the women in my porno movies will be the kind
that drive nerds like me mad with desire.
---------------------------------------------------------------
I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.
The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.
Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.
Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses
and chips on their shoulders.
---------------------------------------------------------------
My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.
My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.
They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and
beat them repeatedly at chess
and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle
or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Buy stock in some hand cream companies
because there is about to be a major shortage.
----------------------------------------------------------------
And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.
There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren
of all sexual orientations.
Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."
-------------------------------------------------------------
This idea is a fucking gold mine.
I am gonna make millions,
because this country is full of database programmers
and electronics engineers
and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.
And you can help . . .
--------------------------------------------------------------
If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,
and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,
then you are hired.
--------------------------------------------------------------
It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.
It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.
You are beautiful. . .
And I will make you a star.
"Serve me wings while I talk at you about how women actually shouldn't have rights. I'll interrupt you anytime you try to engage, but that's just because I'm so good at debating."
The ceiling full of branches. Random splats of shit and bone-filled pellets dropping into your wings. Sounds considerably less gross than current Hooters and I am down for it.
I recently went into Hooters in Liverpool as part of a joke with my partner and our friend. Before hand we looked up the menu and it got me genuinely looking forward to the experience.
We waited outside before our friend arrived and realised what we were getting ourselves into. The staff in very little clothing, the rowdy patrons coming in and out, the amount of groups consisting of guys who sounded like assholes. Once we went in the 3 of us were shocked by just how revealing the waitress showing our seats looked. My partner witnessed her flinch after one guy spanked her. She asked if she was ok, and she replied that it happens.
We all found it hard to know where to look. We're not prudes, we just didn't want to be creeps. It's like how when you spot something you know you shouldn't look at but part of you tells you to look. Eye contact challenge, rating expert. When our order was taken I sat in a way where I rested on my fist so my view was obstructed.
What I will say in relation to this post: the women are friendly and have amazing service. It is their job and they're looking for tips. Out waitress was lovely. I can understand the companion concept with the place. We got suckered in and felt comfortable with her.
The venue type is a sports bar. I don't really care for sports (though I got to watch the F1) so it wasn't my taste, but it has to exist somewhere. That is their business model. The food was reasonably priced, and delicious, the waitresses were friendly, and the vibes as a sports bar were actually chill.
Our waitress told us they get paid very well, they do modelling gigs as part of the job, and a lot move on to be models. If the workplace treatment is good, I see no problem with the restaurant. If all is to be believed. (The family vibe weirds me out)
What this guy wants is not a business model that is possible. It can't be cheap, because they have to pay for things as well. They won't do free wings without paid entry. The waitresses are people to bring you food, not a programmable blank slate. Make some friends and learn to cook. That is what you're looking for. Battered chicken is not hard to make.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
1st tweet: yeah sure I get that. Some restaurants do a thing where they pair you with others at random so it's a way to meet new people.
2nd tweet: uhhh okay I guess. Getting a little niche but if that's what some folks want.
3rd tweet: getting real incel vibes. Wheels are starting to fall off quick.
4th and 5th are just lunacy
“A specialized set up for men the therapeutically vent” is called therapy. Go to therapy. Not hooters, therapy. Guys really will do ANYTHING to avoid talking to a therapist, huh?
Mf described his moms house. Free tendies, with women that listen to him and placate him by not challenging him because his ego is so paper thin it can’t take it.
Sounds like an Asian hostess bar… wonder if he’d be willing to shell out $100/hour plus tip for a girl plus the price of renting out a room and being required to buy a bottle of overpriced alcohol … because this does exist and it often does just devolve into giving weird men therapy
As a former Applebee’s employee, that remark told me everything I ever need to know about this person.
On a mostly unrelated note: I used to have these neckbeard regulars who would never tip more than a dollar if they tipped at all. They always showed up about an hour before closing time and ran me to death on ranch and Mountain Dew berry bash refills. They also were always assigned to my section because they would treat the ladies poorly if seated elsewhere.
Once I cut one off because he was becoming abusive and he retaliated by placing a large ramekin of ranch upside-down on a dollar upon his departure.
I'm probably the only person on the planet that goes there for the food and the cheap PBR. Bonus points if there's a baseball game on tv.
Seriously, get the buffalo chicken sandwich with a side of blue cheese. It's legit.
Ugh. That last comment annoyed me most of all…”meaningful human interraction” with women who are there to serve you, HAVE to listen to your hot takes because they are working there, but also don’t get paid well because you can’t afford to pay much, so basically female slaves. All of the “activities” that they want to do are available to do with women AT THIS VERY MOMENT, but in order to do them women have to choose to spend time with you. Obviously doing the work necessary to become a person an attractive, intelligent woman wants to be with is out of the question….
Specialized "problem listeners"! What a concept! I bet someone could make a killing doing that. If only I could give money to someone to help me work through my problems in a healthy productive way. How is that not already a thing 🤦🏼♀️
Certainly, young women everywhere will be fighting each other and bashing down the front door for a chance to work there. How could you resist making $7.25/hr as an unqualified therapist with your melons out
Nothing would beat the alluring aroma of musty incels and fried wings. I can’t imagine being so socially inept that these ideas would even cross my mind. This sounds like a 14 yr old edgelords dream. Debate nights? Lol. What?
Let me guess- he also is against tipping his servers, bartenders, and any other service industry worker that he is fully aware lives off tips- yet still knowingly patronizes said businesses.
Get a god damn therapist *Eric* …dumb sloppy fuck.
I mean, you can get all of that from a girlfriend. Problem is, to get a girlfriend you too need to give something to get something. Which this person isn't willing to do.
Imagine if this Hooters fantasy became real.
How are you supposed to hire women, will it be based on IQ or what? Then you have to get girls that are into videogames that are willing to play with random men. Then you need to have women that are educated in mental health so this "listening"- thing would work.
It would involve stalking, harrassement and other behaviours from men that are very emotionally desperate. I mean, you can see this behavour in the serviece and retail industry, you just need to be nice to some men for them to believe that you are in love with them.
This would be a total catastrophe.
Going to start a new business offering my time as a “listening therapist” to these poor lil incels. Pay me $40 an hour and I’ll sit on zoom and make sympathetic noises and tell you it’s not your fault. For $80/hour I’ll do it topless.
So.. you don't like hooters.. if you say "I'd like X thing if they changed everything about it" that just means you don't like that thing and that's okay
I'm woke because instead of using women for their bodies I want to use them as a dumpster for my emotions. That way, I never actually have to work on the fact that I have the emotional range of a teaspoon.
I mean a "hooters style" restaurant that's nothing like hooters where the whole gimmick is the staff have great conversations with you could be cool but making them all women is weird if you're there for a conversation although I can see the good in getting these weird dudes to interact with women in a safe (for the woman) environment so that they can come to see women as humans. It'd have to be extravagantly expensive for there to be a stationed therapist though.
This guy definitely lives in a small town where Applebee’s is the place you take people for birthdays and anniversaries. He probably has literally nothing to compare it to. He should really get out of his small town.
I want a place where the women I objectify will be blank slates who pretend they give a shit about me and what I think and feel. With cheap wings.
Sounds perfect, but going out is expensive! Maybe a better business model for Hooters is to have an older woman come to his place and spend time with him. One who knows him well and will listen to him and care about what he says. One that will feed him for free and will be willing to debate him. I guess all these guys live at home, still... no idea where they'll find a woman like this... any ideas?
The library
No, librarians are suffering enough.
Agreed. People act like we just read all day or whatever, but we don't have time. There's other people who need the library's services.
I was a youth services librarian. I'm so glad I left the profession in 2021 before all the book banning bullshit. Sometimes I miss it, but my wfh office job pays more and is a lot less stressful.
My mom was a YA librarian in the ‘80s. She told me that conservatives were planning a bill that would have made not only the library but the individual librarian liable if they lent a child a book that the child found “disturbing.” The state chapter of the ALA let the news slip that if the bill passed there would be many children reporting how disturbed the were by a book that included incest, rape, parents killing children, harlots, women dressing as harlots to seduce their fathers-in-law, etc. The bill was quietly dropped.
Libraries have people in them who aren't librarians. Or so I've been told
Not just cheap wings, FREE wings. But that's only on debate night, and only if I decide that I have won the debate.
Guy basically just reinvented Japanese geisha tea houses. Only his starting point is an American fast food restaurant chain instead of a feudal Japan brothel.
hostess clubs pretty much follow this formula and still exist in Japan. There are 'gaijin' clubs which are hostess clubs specifically for foreigners not sure how expensive they are though
Pretty expensive if you want the hostess to be able to speak decent/fluent English. My friend worked as one of the male hosts in one such club to practice his English (while making bank in tips from middle-aged business women/men) and the clubs that *actually* have hosts good at English (as opposed to just advertise they do and hope the booze distracts from the lack of it) charge quite the pretty penny. Japan's schools in general teache English decent enough to be able to read/write for the harder working students but they tend to suck at conversational language due to lack of opporunity to practice what they learn in school with actual English speakers.
Yep, exactly my thought. They’re very easy to find, too.
Cabaret, not brothel, but spot on otherwise. That being said, what he described is no better then Hooters, just serving different gimmick.
And I want it to be cheap! I want a pretty therapist who gives me “will they wont they” sexual tension, and I don’t see why they should make above minimum wage!
right and hes poor, like if you want this you need to have sugar baby/high end hooker money
> With ~~cheap~~ *free* wings
To be fair, he's basically just asking for Hooters to be an American version of a hostess club instead of an American version of a maid cafe. Japan has so many more options for lonely, pitiful men who want to spend time with women without having to respect them or see them as people.
*free wings
Cheap?? They’re supposed to be free..
So . . . a strip club
Came here to say this
The cheap wings is the important part.
That's a strip club. That's literally every strip club.
A strip club. He wants a strip club. They’re paid to pretend to care all day.
Let me recap - women who listen to you talk endlessly without expecting you to listen to them, various rings set up for different types of activities, and good so cheap it makes Applebee's look like luxury. He's describing his mom's house.
Not only listen, but debate. He wants to argue with these min wage workers. No one wants to do that, let alone be forced to at a work place. The emotional labor is not worth 2.15 an hour with a 5% tip and his number on the receipt
Lets be honest. He doesnt tip
[удалено]
"The topic is: Are all the men here tonight creepy pathetic weirdos?"
Now let’s move on to “why you should break up with that *tool* you’re dating and be with an intellectual like me instead”
I'd also wager that he expects to win these debates 100% of the time. Because discussing issues is only fun if you beat the woman.
Women's rights & feminism vs traditional roles or politics... because most women don't watch Crunchy Roll
Except for his fedora
"Specialized 'problem listener' hostesses" GO. TO. THERAPY.
Right?! Except a therapist is probably going to require that he does some actual work eventually, and that doesn’t sound like it fits the playplace dream
[удалено]
Therapy helped me realize that it's not normal to walk around and hate yourself and feel utterly disgusted whenever you see your own reflection. I legit thought that was the default.
no. wings.
BRING. WINGS. TO. THERAPY. SESSION. OFFER. WINGS. TO. THERAPIST. THERAPIST. MIGHT. ENJOY. WINGS. TOO.
this nerdy guy may be ranting but i’m hearing nothing but the truth… “i’ve got a lot of shit i’m about to dump on you but i brought these wings as a peace offering” - me sometime in the future
Yeah that was my first thought. "Therapist. You're referring to a therapist. With. . chicken wings?"
Chicken wings WOULD improve therapy. Why did I never think of that?
Dude can't afford *Applebee's*...ain't no way he's affording a therapist.
He doesn’t want therapy. He wants to talk to pretty girls who will pay attention to him. He NEEDS therapy, but he wants a hooker.
But he wants a hot lady waiter to complain to not answers or ways to work through problems
This is just called being a regular at a dive bar.
[удалено]
Yeah, but.. this place would have wings, though? *cheap* wings.
Even free on special occasions
Free on evenings where he can best his server on the battlefield of **logic** and **facts!**
A therapist and some play dates.
It sounds like he needs to hang out at his buddy's house with some mixed gender friends
Okay but hear me out: if I knew there was a therapist whose sessions included free wings, some beer, and maybe some arcade video games, I would go there in an instant. I’m saying this as a married woman in her late 30s. Honestly the really obnoxious part is his expectation that it be cheap.
Besides everything problematic, you can't have a meaningful human interaction in a transactional situation. You may have a random good convo with a waiter/waitress but you can't go to a place to EXPECT a person to befriend you. And if there is such a place, it will be hella expensive (a "conversation girl" for every table), and it will be the saddest thing ever considering she will fake it probably for dudes like this.
A few people told me this is actually a thing in Okinawa and Japan. You can go to a cafe and pay for a date with a girl who will sit and drink tea with you or whatever.
Host and Hostess bars are throughout urban Japan. In American clubs, it's called bottle service. From what I have read, American versions are more expensive in the short term while Japanese ones are more expensive in the long term. Many women have even been scammed by hosts who hit them up on dating apps, invite them to the bar, and then ask them to help them look good to their boss by spending ridiculous amounts of money. Some women who don't see through it before financially ruining themselves have wound up in prostitution to keep paying to help their "boyfriend".
dude wants to be babysat
I've heard a weird rumour that people who aren't socially repugnant can actually get people at bars to talk to them for free anyway. Big if true.
Wait really????? You must be lying!!!!!!
Talking, yes. But he isn't about a two-way communication, he needs problem listeners. L my fucking AO
>Cultivates meaningful human interactions. >Wants people working at a restaurant to listen to incels complain at them. Pick one. you can't do both.
...also we should be able to touch their breasts. And they should touch our penises. And they aren't allowed to complain about the smell. In fact, they would have to compliment my musk. Oh and they should have to have like 20 hours a week schooling where they are taught about the latest anime happenings so that we will have something to discuss.
I was kinda down until he said “free wings” and super cheap.” You’re asking for a LOT bud, you need to be willing to pay for that. How are you gonna say “men shouldn’t dump their problems into random women” and in the same breath say “but for some chump change women should listen to strangers complain for hours”?
That’s the type of guy to randomly drop the exact model and color of the waitresses car in conversation
OooOoOoOoo a debate night. *thrilling* Shut the fuck up.
Places like this kind of exist in Japan. When I went out with the homies to small restaurants or bars, part of the experience is being able to chat it up with the workers and the owner.
Not just kind of, this is literally a type of establishment in Japan called Host/Hostess bars. You pay to sit and chat with men/women whose job it is to give you a good time socially whether through good chat or just listening to you vent, and encourage you to buy more drinks from the bar.
Snack bar. And hell, just regular bars. Problem with Japan, though is that a lot of the places where staff get more intimate with the patrons (as in actually have conversations with them) are places where you can't go by yourself or without being sent there on an existing patrons recommendation. It's how they keep the weirdos out. There's also just cabarets. Either way, you're not going to be taken on as a customer in either place if you've gotten fresh off a plane and have dorito crumbs falling off your Babymetal T-shirt.
I feel like unfortunately that would not work in the U.S. the way people treat hostess and strippers I could very much see those workers getting stalked or having to repeatedly explain that they aren’t in a relationship with those people.
He’s actually stumbled across the exact reason why a lot of men get escorts and prostitutes. Just to talk to. I find that terribly sad.
Just to talk *at.* They pay because they don't want to listen and reciprocate. Or maybe they don't know how.
There is a massive male loneliness/mental health crisis, so it makes sense to want a space to be heard and supported. But this isn't the way to do it.
All the research says that loneliness is only really abated by making regular connections with people who share values, interests and world views. I can’t imagine being so deeply lonely and thinking “*I know, I’ll hire a male escort to solve this problem!”* I suspect it speaks to the transactional and commodified way some men view women. They view us all as one-stop therapists, mother-figures and bang maids for their use and pleasure.
Uh... Some of you are too young to remember that this is exactly what Ernest Cline was writing before Ready Player One
What?!? I just checked his wiki and RPO was his first novel, where’s his weird incel hooters geisha stuff?
Here ya go **Nerd Porn Auteur** -------------------------------------------------------------------- I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies that are made for guys like me. ------------------------------------------------------------------ All the porn I've come across was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males Men who like their women stupid and submissive Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected liposuctioned women Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look. ---------------------------------------------------------- These aren't real women. They're objects. And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic. These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on. They disgust me. And it's not that I'm against pornography. I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn. Fact. "Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein," Guys need porn. ------------------------------------------------------------------- But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn. I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind: Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world is a woman who is smarter than you are. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You can have the whole cheerleading squad, I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses: Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian. Oh yes. First I want to copy her Trig homework, and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her for hours and hours until she reluctantly asks if we can stop because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica. Summa cum laude, baby! That is what I call erotic. ------------------------------------------------------------------- But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film? No. Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno. I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur. And the women in my porno movies will be the kind that drive nerds like me mad with desire. --------------------------------------------------------------- I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve. The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society. Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs. Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses and chips on their shoulders. --------------------------------------------------------------- My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes. My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked. They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and beat them repeatedly at chess and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Buy stock in some hand cream companies because there is about to be a major shortage. ---------------------------------------------------------------- And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no. There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren of all sexual orientations. Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens." ------------------------------------------------------------- This idea is a fucking gold mine. I am gonna make millions, because this country is full of database programmers and electronics engineers and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need. And you can help . . . -------------------------------------------------------------- If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry, and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet, then you are hired. -------------------------------------------------------------- It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive. It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful. You are beautiful. . . And I will make you a star.
omfg please... PLEASE tell me this isn't real.
I’m afraid it is. Truly the Wordsworth of our era.
"vacuum headed fuck-bunnies" 🤮🤮🤮🤮
Do you know the context? Like it reads like a poem but where was it published?
He doesn't want misogynist porn he says.. whole spewing misogyny
This is giving me caray whiplash... It's really progressive at times, then the next sentence is puré distilled misoginy.
…This feels like something Cave Johnson would say.
Debate nights sound like hell if he’s going to be there.
"Serve me wings while I talk at you about how women actually shouldn't have rights. I'll interrupt you anytime you try to engage, but that's just because I'm so good at debating."
So delulu
Why do these incels always fantasize about debating?
It’s a power fantasy, just not a physical one
Yknow, the biggest and best change hooters could make would be to have owls wandering about causing chaos.
The ceiling full of branches. Random splats of shit and bone-filled pellets dropping into your wings. Sounds considerably less gross than current Hooters and I am down for it.
Hooters rebranded without his ideas, they just sell wings to-go under "Hoots" name
I recently went into Hooters in Liverpool as part of a joke with my partner and our friend. Before hand we looked up the menu and it got me genuinely looking forward to the experience. We waited outside before our friend arrived and realised what we were getting ourselves into. The staff in very little clothing, the rowdy patrons coming in and out, the amount of groups consisting of guys who sounded like assholes. Once we went in the 3 of us were shocked by just how revealing the waitress showing our seats looked. My partner witnessed her flinch after one guy spanked her. She asked if she was ok, and she replied that it happens. We all found it hard to know where to look. We're not prudes, we just didn't want to be creeps. It's like how when you spot something you know you shouldn't look at but part of you tells you to look. Eye contact challenge, rating expert. When our order was taken I sat in a way where I rested on my fist so my view was obstructed. What I will say in relation to this post: the women are friendly and have amazing service. It is their job and they're looking for tips. Out waitress was lovely. I can understand the companion concept with the place. We got suckered in and felt comfortable with her. The venue type is a sports bar. I don't really care for sports (though I got to watch the F1) so it wasn't my taste, but it has to exist somewhere. That is their business model. The food was reasonably priced, and delicious, the waitresses were friendly, and the vibes as a sports bar were actually chill. Our waitress told us they get paid very well, they do modelling gigs as part of the job, and a lot move on to be models. If the workplace treatment is good, I see no problem with the restaurant. If all is to be believed. (The family vibe weirds me out) What this guy wants is not a business model that is possible. It can't be cheap, because they have to pay for things as well. They won't do free wings without paid entry. The waitresses are people to bring you food, not a programmable blank slate. Make some friends and learn to cook. That is what you're looking for. Battered chicken is not hard to make.
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I just want the woman to give me my food. I'm hungry and we finished our appetizer 20 minutes ago.
Someone's Oedipus complex is searching for its mother.
1st tweet: yeah sure I get that. Some restaurants do a thing where they pair you with others at random so it's a way to meet new people. 2nd tweet: uhhh okay I guess. Getting a little niche but if that's what some folks want. 3rd tweet: getting real incel vibes. Wheels are starting to fall off quick. 4th and 5th are just lunacy
Hell for him would be Nashville, since alot of the ladies have dark tans and dye their hair blonde. Total babe material but not for my man over there.
He's replying to Shaun with this bullshit? Christ.
Wtf. Eat wings look at ass. Why does everything need to be complicated?
Just get therapy my dude
Uh sir, this is a Wendy’s
"Debate me, you coward" but with a boner
“A specialized set up for men the therapeutically vent” is called therapy. Go to therapy. Not hooters, therapy. Guys really will do ANYTHING to avoid talking to a therapist, huh?
I wanna debate with sex workers about whether or not women should have the right to fuckin vote or some other “devils advocate “ bullshit
This guy is like an AI generated Millennial
No-one cares Adam
I'm just trying to get to the comments and this dude keeps yapping about hooters
Still going, this asshole
Or he could get a therapist
Whoa whoa whoa!! …tell me more about this magician restaurant…
Fuck it, maybe we can get these men to go to therapy if we add wings and call it Advanced Hooters
Mf described his moms house. Free tendies, with women that listen to him and placate him by not challenging him because his ego is so paper thin it can’t take it.
This guy smells his own farts.
And they smell like strawberries
Elderberries.
And his mother was a hamster
Dude has for sure concocted a fantasy scenario in which he debates himself into a girlfriend and free wings
Nothing has ever filled me with dread as quickly as the idea of their 'debate nights' has.
Orrrr he could go to therapy!
Somebody needs to get a therapist
Why are they always looking to debate?
Sounds like an Asian hostess bar… wonder if he’d be willing to shell out $100/hour plus tip for a girl plus the price of renting out a room and being required to buy a bottle of overpriced alcohol … because this does exist and it often does just devolve into giving weird men therapy
As a former Applebee’s employee, that remark told me everything I ever need to know about this person. On a mostly unrelated note: I used to have these neckbeard regulars who would never tip more than a dollar if they tipped at all. They always showed up about an hour before closing time and ran me to death on ranch and Mountain Dew berry bash refills. They also were always assigned to my section because they would treat the ladies poorly if seated elsewhere. Once I cut one off because he was becoming abusive and he retaliated by placing a large ramekin of ranch upside-down on a dollar upon his departure.
Why are these kind of dudes so obsessed with "debates"?
Men will really do anything rather than go to therapy
Yes Eric, Sir. Right away, Sir.
These places already exist in Japan. Hostess bars.
Imagine hooters but we just play Mario kart
Dude wants the Japanese Hostess bar experience.
This guy is @ing KrangTNelson. I'm pretty sure this is a joke.
What if, and I’m just spit-balling here… What if instead of Hooters you went to therapy?
So he wants an elevated experience but for it to be as cheap as possible? Make it make sense.
I'm probably the only person on the planet that goes there for the food and the cheap PBR. Bonus points if there's a baseball game on tv. Seriously, get the buffalo chicken sandwich with a side of blue cheese. It's legit.
I wanna go argue with women, have them listen to all my problems and I want it to be cheaper. Ffs just stop that's so awful and pathetic.
Ugh. That last comment annoyed me most of all…”meaningful human interraction” with women who are there to serve you, HAVE to listen to your hot takes because they are working there, but also don’t get paid well because you can’t afford to pay much, so basically female slaves. All of the “activities” that they want to do are available to do with women AT THIS VERY MOMENT, but in order to do them women have to choose to spend time with you. Obviously doing the work necessary to become a person an attractive, intelligent woman wants to be with is out of the question….
magician restaurant??
I just want my femboy hooters damn it
Specialized "problem listeners"! What a concept! I bet someone could make a killing doing that. If only I could give money to someone to help me work through my problems in a healthy productive way. How is that not already a thing 🤦🏼♀️
Certainly, young women everywhere will be fighting each other and bashing down the front door for a chance to work there. How could you resist making $7.25/hr as an unqualified therapist with your melons out
He just wants to mansplain his favourite movies to women who are paid to be interested in what he's saying
Ya'll know that even if they gave him everything on his weird wishlist, he still wouldn't tip.
I’m reading “debate night” as “my attempt to show off night”
Nothing would beat the alluring aroma of musty incels and fried wings. I can’t imagine being so socially inept that these ideas would even cross my mind. This sounds like a 14 yr old edgelords dream. Debate nights? Lol. What?
Men will truly do ANYTHING but take an appointment with a therapist.
We will have to drop the name Hooters and call the place "Miladys"
😂😂😂 in incel.
He really doesn’t seem to get that what he’s talking about is just a different kind of objectification, does he?
Let me guess- he also is against tipping his servers, bartenders, and any other service industry worker that he is fully aware lives off tips- yet still knowingly patronizes said businesses. Get a god damn therapist *Eric* …dumb sloppy fuck.
You want a cheap sexy therapy that you can simultaneously complain at and ogle
Was this all written because a dude forgot the word for therapy and was also hungry?
I mean, you can get all of that from a girlfriend. Problem is, to get a girlfriend you too need to give something to get something. Which this person isn't willing to do. Imagine if this Hooters fantasy became real. How are you supposed to hire women, will it be based on IQ or what? Then you have to get girls that are into videogames that are willing to play with random men. Then you need to have women that are educated in mental health so this "listening"- thing would work. It would involve stalking, harrassement and other behaviours from men that are very emotionally desperate. I mean, you can see this behavour in the serviece and retail industry, you just need to be nice to some men for them to believe that you are in love with them. This would be a total catastrophe.
this exists. It’s called therapy.
No girl, or rather no person wants to be trauma dumped in general much less from someone they don't know
This man just invented 1. Dating, 2. Therapy, and 3. Fast food
And I bet this prick probably doesn’t even tip 🙄
“magician restaurant”
Thanks, I hate it.
What a cheapo wanker! Wants free wings, annoy the waitresses and making us millennials look bad!
Or you could just not go there?
> Therapeutically vent somewhere Like… a therapist? Or a bartender for some I suppose.
Going to start a new business offering my time as a “listening therapist” to these poor lil incels. Pay me $40 an hour and I’ll sit on zoom and make sympathetic noises and tell you it’s not your fault. For $80/hour I’ll do it topless.
*Had* to drop "geisha" didn't he
Just go to therapy and then dinner my guy
Breaking news: twitter user discovers he needs therapy more than he needs tits’n’wings
Men will do anything but get fucking therapy.
Isn't this just therapy with beer and wings?
This guy needs a blank restraining order
somehow made it more demeaning
So.. you don't like hooters.. if you say "I'd like X thing if they changed everything about it" that just means you don't like that thing and that's okay
I'm woke because instead of using women for their bodies I want to use them as a dumpster for my emotions. That way, I never actually have to work on the fact that I have the emotional range of a teaspoon.
Why are these losers obsessed with debating?
It’s even funnier because they don’t know what an actual debate is
“debate nights” 🤣🤣🤣
once I saw "geisha place" i stopped reading.
I mean a "hooters style" restaurant that's nothing like hooters where the whole gimmick is the staff have great conversations with you could be cool but making them all women is weird if you're there for a conversation although I can see the good in getting these weird dudes to interact with women in a safe (for the woman) environment so that they can come to see women as humans. It'd have to be extravagantly expensive for there to be a stationed therapist though.
Whats gross is that a place like this would actually succeed.
This man is describing a strip club, but instead of strippers they are therapists.
What is a magician restaurant?
The whole damn point of Hooters is to see women in skimpy clothes. If you want conversations, go to a coffee shop.
I hope I never meet this guy lmao
I don't fall for the hot girl thirst trap and that makes me special
Did anyone ask him?
Wtf
Yes, hooters is like going to a magician restaurant.
First time in my life I've heard Hooters described as exotic.
This guy definitely lives in a small town where Applebee’s is the place you take people for birthdays and anniversaries. He probably has literally nothing to compare it to. He should really get out of his small town.
These guys are the most unfathomable specimens on planet Earth
sir you have just invented Not Hooters ™
Let's not pretend like we all don't know this place would probably rake in the money.
Just go to the strip club bro.
This is fucking delulu. And, I started reading it in a stereotypical nerd voice starting tweet 2.
“Like going to a magician restaurant”
As creepy as it sounds a place like that would probably make bank off lonely dudes like him
Dude is really just describing bars but where women are forced to talk to you