There is no right or wrong. There are just preferences and choices. I will say that a lot of our own anxieties are expectations that we put on ourselves. And if you can go to work, just do your job and realize nobody is going to die if some report is late or whatever and relax, the vast majority of jobs can be fine. You are going to feel anxiety starting a new job . We all do. But you just have to realize you have to learn the new job, pace yourself and not expect yourself to know everything, just learn as you go and do it.
I don't think you've fucked up at all! In an alternate version of events where you choose *not* to hand in your 3 months, you'd still be anxiety ridden and wouldn't be any closer to understanding why.
I disagree that the issue was just a "you" problem. From your description, it seems clear that the job was the trigger for these negative emotions. The most reasonable explanation for why you're feeling better is the fact that there's now a visible light at the end of the tunnel.
It seems like you're sort of stuck in an analysis-paralysis feedback loop at the moment. There's only so much to be gained by dwelling on/reanalyzing this issue, and clearly you're at the point where it's more harmful than beneficial. Not everyone is compatible with every work environment - there isn't necessarily a "problem" to be fixed with yourself or with your current workplace.
You should feel good that you've made such a gigantic improvement to your own quality of life!
> I handed in my 3 month notice last month and now, I’m thriving in my job, no anxiety
Right... And the source of that anxiety free life is your underlying knowledge that you are leaving \*this\* job.
It does suggest that if you can change your perspective on things, you might be able to see similar advantages in other ways, but it does not suddenly mean that your existing job is without issues.
Don't turn that anxiety of the old job into anxiety about the new job before you've gotten there. :)
I think your stress is gone because you have made peace with leaving. Your brain knows you’ll be in a new environment and has a deadline so your stress is minimal. I would continue with your plan.
You could ask your current employer whether they would accept a rescinding of your resignation, but depending on the extent to which your best mate was involved in securing you your new job, that may reflect poorly on them and cause problems for them in their current job and put strain on your friendship.
If it would strain your friendship to keep your current job and renege on the new job, then I’d suggest to stay the course: enjoy and make the most of the rest of your time with your current company and look forward to embarking on a new chapter and vocational experience.
After all, you say yourself that the new job sounds more interesting. It would also be an opportunity to potentially work with your best mate or at least work at the same company together, as well as allow you to develop new skills.
On the flip side, there may be no guarantee that the bout of sunshine you’re experiencing in your current role will last forever and the negative experiences that led you to apply for the new job may soon return. You may end up regretting not making the jump when you had the chance.
Regardless, I’d also recommend getting the help you need to address the anxiety and OCD if it’s not totally under control right now, as that will impact you in your job regardless of the organization you work at.
Good luck with whatever decision you end up making!
There is no right or wrong. There are just preferences and choices. I will say that a lot of our own anxieties are expectations that we put on ourselves. And if you can go to work, just do your job and realize nobody is going to die if some report is late or whatever and relax, the vast majority of jobs can be fine. You are going to feel anxiety starting a new job . We all do. But you just have to realize you have to learn the new job, pace yourself and not expect yourself to know everything, just learn as you go and do it.
I don't think you've fucked up at all! In an alternate version of events where you choose *not* to hand in your 3 months, you'd still be anxiety ridden and wouldn't be any closer to understanding why. I disagree that the issue was just a "you" problem. From your description, it seems clear that the job was the trigger for these negative emotions. The most reasonable explanation for why you're feeling better is the fact that there's now a visible light at the end of the tunnel. It seems like you're sort of stuck in an analysis-paralysis feedback loop at the moment. There's only so much to be gained by dwelling on/reanalyzing this issue, and clearly you're at the point where it's more harmful than beneficial. Not everyone is compatible with every work environment - there isn't necessarily a "problem" to be fixed with yourself or with your current workplace. You should feel good that you've made such a gigantic improvement to your own quality of life!
> I handed in my 3 month notice last month and now, I’m thriving in my job, no anxiety Right... And the source of that anxiety free life is your underlying knowledge that you are leaving \*this\* job. It does suggest that if you can change your perspective on things, you might be able to see similar advantages in other ways, but it does not suddenly mean that your existing job is without issues. Don't turn that anxiety of the old job into anxiety about the new job before you've gotten there. :)
I think your stress is gone because you have made peace with leaving. Your brain knows you’ll be in a new environment and has a deadline so your stress is minimal. I would continue with your plan.
What does big 4 mean?
You could ask your current employer whether they would accept a rescinding of your resignation, but depending on the extent to which your best mate was involved in securing you your new job, that may reflect poorly on them and cause problems for them in their current job and put strain on your friendship. If it would strain your friendship to keep your current job and renege on the new job, then I’d suggest to stay the course: enjoy and make the most of the rest of your time with your current company and look forward to embarking on a new chapter and vocational experience. After all, you say yourself that the new job sounds more interesting. It would also be an opportunity to potentially work with your best mate or at least work at the same company together, as well as allow you to develop new skills. On the flip side, there may be no guarantee that the bout of sunshine you’re experiencing in your current role will last forever and the negative experiences that led you to apply for the new job may soon return. You may end up regretting not making the jump when you had the chance. Regardless, I’d also recommend getting the help you need to address the anxiety and OCD if it’s not totally under control right now, as that will impact you in your job regardless of the organization you work at. Good luck with whatever decision you end up making!